Be Like Water
by taoist elf
Summary: REPOSTED - Starting with the slap in the movie and spinning a twisting, intense, and psychologically-driven tale. Imprinting, but not the usual way: it's complicated.
1. Chapter 1  Loosing it

Hey guys. I'm very uncomfortable with "tooting my own horn" (which is why I never advertise about contests/awards) but I get so many reviews and PMs asking why this hasn't gotten "many reviews" that I'll tell you up front: this is a *repost* of a story and in its original posting it was very richly rewarded with well over 3,000 reviews. Now why I deleted it in the first place is another story... lol

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it this time around!

_'  
><em>

_**This fic is rated M for language, violence, adult themes and sex.**_

**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing. Just having fun… yada, yada, yada.**

'

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One – Losing it<strong>

* * *

><p>'<p>

"Bella." It was a statement, not a question. How could Billy Black communicate so much in just that simple pronouncement? _You shouldn't be here. Please don't do this. I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I have to._

For once Bella Swan forced herself to ignore all unspoken subtexts. She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets and pulled a shoulder to her ear.

"I need to see him." It was a statement, not a question.

"He's not in," Billy said carefully meeting her eyes with an electric intensity that entreated – no, _demanded_ -she acknowledge what he didn't want to say.

"I'm sorry I really need to see him," she mumbled.

Drawing in a fortifying breath and biting her lip against its exhale, Bella resolutely pushed past him. She felt as defiant as a child who had covered her internal ears and sang pointedly "la, la, la!" And it wasn't like her at all. People had grown used to the fact that with Bella, any subtle inference was as effective as a close-fisted demand.

But she _had_ to see him. Jacob Black had always been the only stable constant in a life that had been in constant turmoil since she could remember. It was the desperation of survival instinct that made her feel she was clawing her way down the narrow clapboard hallway. Her heart had been torn out of her body permanently, she was sure of it, when the man who she had dared to love had left her. But she just didn't think she could keep breathing if Jacob had abandoned her too.

Bella tore open the door of Jake's room without knocking. The hinges squeaked, severing the choking tension like cutting a noose from her neck. And there was Jake: sprawled out asleep on his crappy bed, in his tiny room. He looked huge – one arm draped over onto the floor and lying diagonally on the single mattress just to fit. His breathing was deep and even. Bella finally let out that exhale and felt deflated. She couldn't wake him; he looked exhausted. She would just have to wait.

Movement out of the corner of her eye made her glance from Jake's lax full lips out the window. Sam stepped out into the yard from the tree line flanked by three huge bare-chested boys. They moved strangely, synchronized, like linebackers who had taken ballet.

Bella frowned and felt her ebbing adrenaline rise up like bile, sorrow and frustration metastasizing into white hot fury. She couldn't talk to Jake, but she could talk to _them_.

She didn't even remember getting there, but suddenly she was hurtling toward Sam, far beyond reason.

"What did you do? What did you do to him?" she shoved herself into his chest with all of her anger. It was like pushing a brick wall.

"Watch it, little girl," snarled a voice beside her.

"What did you do? He didn't want this!" she yelled back at Sam.

One of the men flanking Sam stepped forward as if she had been talking to _him_. "What did we do? What did _he_ do? What did he tell you?"

His instant intensity made Bella freeze. He was just as livid as she was.

"Both of you… calm down," Sam's resonate bass slipped between them as he pushed the man back.

But Bella didn't take her eyes off the one who now faced her down. "He tells me nothing! He tells me nothing because he's afraid of you!" she spat in the man's face.

His sneer became more pronounced as the opposite eyebrow raised slyly. And then he laughed. He laughed at her! Collegial chortles at her expense erupted around her .

Bella had never been so angry. Before she knew what she was doing she drew her hand back and slapped him. As hard as she could.

Surprisingly, the man's face snapped back with force of the open-handed blow. She blinked rapidly as he slowly turned back, his expression one of open-mouthed shock. His lips lifted in a snarl that sounded too animalistic to be made by a human throat as his body began to vibrate.

"Paul…. _Paul… calm down_," Sam admonished, even as he pushed Bella back.

A look of fury contorted his face as he shook his head, his feral gaze trained intently on her. Bella's eyes widened as she sucked in a breath of shock through her teeth; never had she seen such an expression. Every last cord in his neck was standing out as he bared his teeth in rage. But his eyes… his eyes were burning with betrayal.

Sam pushed her back so hard she stumbled as he continued to reprimand Paul… but she heard nothing. Bella couldn't tear her gaze from those eyes as she slowly backed up, fear blooming deep in her stomach.

As he snarled viciously, his body threw itself forward and exploded in fur not ten feet in front of her.

But the eyes were the same.

The huge wolf lifted its lip in a sneer much the same way as the man and growled once, but the anger of the man had transform with the beast. It cocked its head -a very wolf-like gesture - and prowled slowly forward with the tension and patience of a predator. A predator intent on its prey.

"Bella! Bella!" she finally heard over the blood pounding in her ears.

_Jake._

"Jake! Jake, run!" she screamed as she turned and launched into a sprint.

Only several yards up the hill, predictably she tripped and crashed to the ground. She watched Jake leap over her in his focused trajectory toward that monster. Bella turned and watched as her best friend burst into fur, scraps of fabric slithering down through the air. The Jake-wolf crouched between Bella and the other and growled low and dangerous. It seemed to enrage it all the more.

From that slow slinking prowl, it snarled with a grating viciousness and sprang at Jake, clearing forty feet easily. Jake met it in mid-air and they tangled in a blur of fur and snapping jaws.

Bella slowly pushed herself off the ground and stood as she tried to follow the lightning movements of the wolves with her heart in her throat.

"Jake," she whimpered forlornly watching the ferocious fight and tumble of fang and claws. She felt ill. She knew. She _knew_. But somehow seeing Jacob turn into a wolf the size of a pony very different than knowing. As all her own anger receded like the tide, revealing the cold hard lump of anxiety and despair where her heart used to be. She wrapped her arms around herself as hopelessness finally leaked hot and salty down her cheeks.

The two wolves tumbled into the tree line – where the men had emerged just minutes before - and Bella bowed her head as she heard the crash of underbrush and trees punctuated by staccato lupine yelps.

"Take her to Emily's," she heard Sam say to Jared.

Bella gracelessly sniffled snot back in her nose as she looked up through her curtain of hair to see Sam similarly transform and leap into the forest. _It was all just too much._

"Get her to Em's!" Jared bellowed.

"C'mon Bella," Embry said as he walked toward her with an infuriating smirk on his face.

Pressing her lips together and wiping at her cheeks impatiently, Bella lifted her chin with an attempt at defiance.

"B-but… Jake," was all she could say

Quil rolled his eyes. "He'll be fine… it's Paul I'm worried about!"

Embry snorted. "Did you see Paul's face? Oh man, wolf's out of the bag now. We're going to Emily's. I'm driving," he snagged the keys out of her back pocket as he passed with a slight of hand that would be the envy of any magician.

With a stomp to her foot, Bella hugged herself harder and stumbled after the two big boys who were now arguing and placing bets on the fight.

Bella? She just concentrated on trying to breathe.


	2. Chapter 2  Piece of Work

**'**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 – Piece of Work<strong>

* * *

><p>'<p>

"I can't, Sam," Paul ground out as he pulled on the spare shorts that Emily always left behind the shed. He hated taking handouts.

Sam looked up from where he was lacing his shoes. Paul only wore dollar store flip-flops ever since he changed six months ago, and he didn't even have a pair of those left.

"Paul… you _have _to. If this isn't going to work out, we have to figure it _now_." He straightened slowly drawing himself up to full Alpha height as if to emphasize the command lurking under his soothing tone. "We can't afford to jeopardize the safety of the Pack. Especially with this leech..." his voice trailed off meaningfully.

Paul squeezed his eyes shut and let his head fall back with a groan. He had hated becoming a werewolf. But ever since that fateful night when his wolf had imprinted on _Bella Swan_ (even mentally he had to mockingly twist that name), he hated being _human_ even more.

However it _had_ made tearing apart that dreadlocked tick that night in the meadow particularly satisfying… but as far as he could tell, that's where any perks ended. And the suckiness began.

And it would definitely suck tonight. Oh yeah. The entire Pack knew about his imprinting – they had been there, of course. And he knew his brothers too; they were not going to make this easy on him.

Taking a deep breath he let it out through his teeth and raised his head to meet Sam's assessing gaze. "'You gonna be okay, man?" he asked now with a chafing edge of gentleness to his voice.

Paul's lip lifted in his signature sneer. "I'm not a pussy like you, Sam."

Sam's lightning fist shot out to punch him painfully in the shoulder.

Paul's sneer evened out to a grin as he rubbed his arm. "You even hit like a girl." He absently ran his hand down farther over the teeth marks just starting to heal from where Jake had landed a hit. Paul had not been on his game this afternoon.

Sam bared his teeth with a growl, but it was only half-hearted. "C'mon. Let's get this over with."

Sam lead the way to the house, quickening his step as he neared – _Emily on the brain_, Paul was sure of it. It was sickening, really.

Jacob had gone on ahead of them - he and Paul didn't get along so well these days.

Bursting through the screen door, Sam didn't even bother to see if Paul followed, but went straight for his girl. For a moment he considered taking the break and making a run for it, but…

_Damn it._ He _had_ to do this. He had to prove it to the Pack – and more to the point, himself – that he could.

Drawing a deep breath in through his nose, he opened the flimsy screen door that had been slammed haphazardly a few too many times. The back door opened straight to the kitchen so he was immediately immersed in the exuberance of Pack sharing space with fast-fleeting mounds of food. The second largest room of the house after the living room, there was a rustic wood table that ran its length and could probably comfortably seat 12 werewolves with its long benches. Paul hope it never had to.

Sam was wrapped around Emily and sucking her face off - as usual- and the rest of the Pack was reaching over the table, pulling things out of the fridge, laughing with full mouths.

…sitting beside Bella.

His gaze grazed over the typical mealtime chaos and immediately locked onto her. She was pressed into Jacob's side hunched quietly over a mug of tea that looked huge in her small hands. As if he'd called her name, she looked up from under that curtain of auburn waves and met his gaze.

Paul felt like he had been tasered.

With a blush that looked like embarrassment, she dropped her eyes to the tea and nervously spun the mug once on the table. Slowly.

A long arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders and Paul's eyes snapped up to meet Jacob's steely stare. Paul's lip raised instinctively to bare his teeth as his jaw clenched.

He felt more than heard the low Alpha growl, and tore himself from the match to see Sam's cautionary frown – even while still tangled in his fiancée's embrace.

Lowering his gaze submissively, he shuffled around the table wishing he had jeans on instead of these elastic shorts so he could stuff his fists in the pockets. Instead he leaned against the far kitchen wall - just beside the brooms – and caged his hands behind his hips.

And he stared.

Emily must have finally pried Sam off, because she stepped in front of him, blocking his view. She put one of those delicate artist's hands of hers on his arm. He saw sympathy and understanding pass through her black eyes and thought he would hurl.

He leaned his head back against the wall with a resounding thump, instead.

"'You want something to eat?" she asked quietly.

Paul thought he was going to become an expert at deep breathing and he tipped his face back down to her and shook his head.

"Are you sure? That casserole's a big hit tonight…" she squeezed his arm, inadvertently just over Jake's teeth marks and the pain felt wonderful.

"Naw, I'm good," he smiled.

She nodded and with a final, delectably smarting squeeze, turned back to fuss about the kitchen. _What a good wife_, Paul thought contemptuously. And then collapsed his face in a hand.

Emily was one of the few people in the world he actually called a friend. She'd had a shit time of it, too. And she was- she was still so caring.

When he looked back up, Jacob had sat down on the other side of Bella, conspicuously blocking his view. Paul pinned his hand back behind him against the wall.

And he stared.

…at Jacob's fucking pecs until - _finally_ – she leaned forward, just enough to clear Jake's massive shoulder. Those dark brown eyes blinked quickly at him. There was a little pucker between her brow and a frown on her lips. Jacob – unconsciously or **not** – chose that moment to lean forward to get another helping of potatoes for his piled-high plate.

And he stared.

After four minutes and 17 seconds she peeked back around, a blush ripening her cheek as if she knew he was watching her, and then, looking unsettled, sat back out of view.

Then… then Emily sat at the head of the table beside her and distracted her – probably answering all her questions about "what it meant to be a wolf girl" (his mind automatically sissified the thought in a high little voice) - and he didn't see her again.

Paul was surprised Jacob's shoulder wasn't smoking.

It should have had a hole burned clear through it when Sam finally stood up from the other head of the table – it was Quileute Walton's style after all – and his energy rippled over the Pack.

There was instant silence.

Sam began in his deep, commanding voice, "it's been a long day for everyone, but we're still going to have to run patrols tonight. Jared caught the scent of the red-headed leech at the northwest corner by–"

A high-pitched squeal pierced the silence.

Adrenaline instantly charged, hot, through Paul's veins. His pulse went from zero to 60 faster than it took his brain to process the vibration from his ear. He doubled over with a gasp.

Sam glanced behind him, but returned his attention to the originator of that sound. Paul straightened back up and breathed slowly through his nose as he trained his eyes (now joined by the entire room) back on Bella.

She had stood – as had Jacob – and was wringing her hands as she was blurting some fast, frantic story to the room. Paul couldn't really hear her high, frightened – she was _scared_… oh God! - voice over the pounding of blood in his ears.

Sam walked across the room to stand on the other side of the table and was paying rapt attention. Jacob was rubbing her shoulders soothingly and asking her questions. The rest of the Pack had even stopped eating to listen; a monumental accomplishment in and of itself.

And Paul? Paul could barely hold it together.

He felt more like he was going through heroin withdrawal (at least how they tell it – that was one drug he hadn't tried) as he fought the instinct to Phase. The wolf was clawing his way to the surface… al- most- there….

"Paul. Calm down," Sam's Alpha voice flowed through him like an 808 base drum and suddenly he could breathe.

At a covert nod from Sam, Embry moseyed on over to stand beside him, tearing a bite off a drumstick held in a greasy hand.

"Damn, Paul, did you hear that? Do you believe this shit? Your girl's as chronic as you are!" he whispered between loud smacking chews- presumably trying to distract Paul.

Paul went utterly still. His lip lifted in a silent, savage warning.

Embry's eyes widened and he stopped chewing, taking an unconscious step back.

The boy struggled to swallow the huge mouthful of meat – which he finally did as Paul icily returned his gaze to the scene before him.

Bella sat back down – with a quick glance his way– before Jake wrapped her completely in both arms and pulled him into his chest as he straddled the bench. His back to Paul.

The room was silent.

"Well now that we know that the leech wants _Bella_… we have bait for the trap!" Quil piped up brightly.

His boyish laugh was smothered into silence by Paul's hands around his neck as he was ripped off the bench and pushed against the refrigerator so hard that it dented.

"PAUL!" With wolf reflexes, Sam vaulted the table and was instantly between them. "Let him go, Paul. Now."

Paul reluctantly released the younger wolf -whose eyes were unrepentantly laughing at his expense- and wordlessly stalked back to his wall.

Back into position. Hands pinned behind his back.

"Jesus, dude! It's like you're on the rag or something!" Embry laughed and pulled the last bite of chicken from the bone.

Sam cuffed him in the back of the head. "Go sit down!" he grumbled.

Sam moved behind his chair at the head of the table – by Paul – and leaned on it as he surveyed the Pack thoughtfully. "Let's finish dinner – and we can talk after you guys clean up Em's kitchen."

It had become their tradition: if a wolf was in the house, Emily wasn't allowed near the sink. That had been Paul's idea.

"Jake?" Sam's voice made saying _that name_ made Paul's gaze snap sharply up from where he had been examining his dirty bare feet.

"Take Bella home and we'll meet in an hour. That should give you enough time. I'll send over Quil to patrol," Sam instinctively glanced back at Paul.

Paul subtly lifted his chin in acknowledgement. The sooner that … _girl_ …was out of the house, the better. He let out a long breath.

This hell was almost over.

Paul was so consumed with relief that he almost jumped out his skin when he heard a soft feminine voice in front of him.

"Paul?" Bella asked tentatively as she walked toward him, her shoulders caved in intimidation.

Jacob was trailing right behind her with his arms crossed over his chest. Sam turned and shot him a warning glance.

Paul barely registered it.

The girl. Bella. She stopped right in front of him. She was so small. She had to tip her head all the way back to look at him. She barely came up to his shoulder. _Oh, she smelled sooo good. Oh, she was beautiful; peaches and cream skin and dark endless eyes. _

Paul shook his head to clear it and pulled his lip up in his wry sneer and pressed himself more firmly against the wall.

And he glared. Just enough to make her swallow nervously.

"Whaddaya want, _Bells_?" he asked mockingly.

"I-I'm sorry about…" She stopped and looked down, presumably to gather her thoughts, and then back up at him.

He could see the little green flecks in the iris of her eye. _Oh, Jesus. She was so close. _

"I mean, I don't know what came over me. I've never hit anyone before," she bit the corner of her lower lip, drawing it into her mouth.

_Close enough to touch. _

Paul leaned against his hands so fiercely that they tingled painfully against the wall.

"That's okay. I'm used to it," Paul snorted. Because he was.

Bella's brow furrowed, like she was begging for his understanding. "I was just so worried about Jake," she explained.

Paul couldn't help the short sharp breath of pain through his nose as his entire body went uncomfortably numb.

"Did I hurt you when I hit you?" she asked as she reached out her long shaking fingers and touched his bicep – an unthinking gesture of concern.

As soon as cool fingertips made contact with hot skin, she jerked back her hand -like she did with her breath through her teeth.

Paul bit his lip as he quickly squeezed his eyes shut, trying to breathe through the jolt of- …just, what _was_ that? A jolt of dopamine? Endorphins? _Crack_?

His nostrils flared.

It was just a second - he was only gone a second – because when he opened his eyes she was still looking at her hand.

And Paul threw his head back and he laughed.

He smothered it to a chuckle at her scowl.

Raising a disparaging eyebrow, he let his teeth peel back in a wry and feral grin. "Hurt _me_?" He chuckled again – just a sniff through his nose.

He looked up at Jake standing behind her, now with protective hands on her shoulders. His face was a mask of fury and violence.

And Paul struggled against the hot sticky instinct to rip Jake's to shreds. Right then and there.

Instead, Paul sneered and let a chuckle bubble up and bounce under his words. "Damn, Jake. She's a piece of work."

Then, in that way that he had that he knew freaked everyone out, he intensified in an instant – his face going cold stone severe.

Bella's indignant frown melted to a startled slack jaw and her eyes reflexively widened.

Paul licked his lips. Slowly.

He was going to lose it.

Any second.

Looking in her eyes. Deep in those eyes. He drew in a long slow breath against every painful nerve in his body . Enunciating each word carefully, he hissed wickedly, desperately.

"get. her. out. of. my. sight."


	3. Chapter 3 Broken

**'**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 – Broken<strong>

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella leaned her chin on her hand on the passenger-side window ledge of her truck and stared out the window at that rainy forest that passed by. This whole day had been pretty overwhelming: she had found out that her best friend turns into a gigantic wolf, _and saw him do it_, found out that he was part of a pack – not a gang or cult (which she was fairly sure was better in the grand scheme of things). And that one of the members of that Pack absolutely hated her guts. She was surprised that, given the laundry list of the day, it was this last fact that bothered her the most.

In her life, Bella stayed under the radar for the most part, so she wasn't used to people… well, _detesting_ her. She had actually never had as many friends at school as she did in Forks and chocked that up to it being a smaller school and her having arrived mid-year last year as a novelty to a class that had known each other since kindergarten. Don't get it wrong, she liked people. She just wasn't into small talk or fakeness or malls or cheerleading, so it limited the options. She hoped that after her teenage years , if she survived them, things would be a little different.

But how could he _hate_ her so much? She didn't even _know_ him. Bella exhaled a slow breath through her nose and idly watched the window fog.

"Hey, 'you okay, honey?" Jake's voice washed over her and his warm hand rested on her thigh.

Bella pushed off the door and leaned her head back on the headrest, regarding her best friend. His profile was lit by the lights from the dash, his hands, sure and casual on the wheel. When he glanced at her and smiled, his white teeth shined bright in the dark, balanced features of his face.

"Yeah. But… but why does he _hate_ me so much?" Bella asked quietly, letting her hand fall over Jake's on her thigh.

"Paul?"

"Does someone else hate me too?" Bella gasped. She knew Jake's friends were fairly tolerant of her, for the most part, but wondered, with the recent developments, how they felt about a being her effective body guards.

Jake squeezed her leg. "Stupid. No one hates you, Bella," he turned and smiled in emphasis. "Not even Paul. He's just really fuck- ..ah, messed up."

"You've really gotten a potty mouth, Jake," she laughed. "Is it, like, some kind of werewolf requirement?"

Jake snorted. "Yup."

Bella turned serious again, "but _why_? Why does he, like, hate _my guts_?"

He glanced over at her twice before he spoke. "Honey… seriously. He doesn't 'hate your guts.' I mean doesn't even know you, right?"

"Yeah. That's what I mean."

"It's just Paul. Like I said, he's just really messed up. We didn't really run together before I phased.."

"Ha. Ha," Bella interjected.

Jake grinned. "But I think he had it kind of rough growing up. But, anyways… don't worry about it - just stay away from him." He paused, and turned more to her as his face went sober. "Bells, he's dangerous."

She ignored that last part. "Rough how?"

Jacob licked his lips looking like he really didn't want to continue the conversation, but he did anyway. "Ah… alcoholic father beat the shi- ah, crap out of him and his mom. Mom ran away with her boyfriend when he was a kid… you know, stuff like that."

_Stuff like that._ No, she didn't know stuff like that. "His mom _left_ her kid with his dad when he _hit_ them? Did she ever come back?"

"Geesh, Bells. I don't know; Emily knows him better from _before_. But he keeps a tight hold on his memories when he's phased." Jacob sounded exasperated.

"Oh that telepathy thing," Bella mused.

"Pack-mind."

"Yeah, that." Bella's thoughts raced for a moment. "So did she ever come back? I mean who does he live with now?"

Jacob sighed impatiently with a distinct roll to his eyes. "He's, like, 19 or something, Bells; he can take care of himself. He's lived alone for a few years – his dad died two years ago? Something like that. Alcohol stuff. Or drugs. Something."

"Oh." Bella bit her lip. Hearing some of Paul's story made her feel a little better the afternoon; she could understand now why he would be so angry.

But not why he hated _her_ so much.

"So does Paul not like white girls?" She blurted suddenly.

Jacob made a frustrated groan. "I don't know! I think Paul will sleep with anyone in a skirt, as far as I can see."

"Oh my God! You guys see that too with your psychic-"

"Pack-mind"

"Yeah, that. You guys see that stuff too?" Bella squeaked incredulously.

"Yup."

"Oh, God!"

"Yup."

"I mean, ew!"

"Actually it's handy for pointers, and if the girl's hot it's kinda like mind-porn." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Bella slapped Jacob's shoulder in rebuke. "Jake, I can't _believe_ you!"

He just chuckled unrepentantly.

Jacob pulled up into her driveway and parked, pulling up the emergency break. She hopped out and met him around the front of the trunk and they walked together amiably toward the front stairs, bumping sides.

She took the first step, but Jake put his hand on her arm and urged her around to face him. He smiled at her – now much closer to his height – and tucked her hair behind her ear.

His voice was tender. "Hey, so that doesn't affect my chances, does it? I mean I can work _really_ hard and keep my mind to myself."

She had told Jake that day in the rain she would try. And she would. She owed him _that much_.

She chose her words carefully. "No, it doesn't affect anything, Jake. You know I love you," she said softly.

The hand that was toying with her hair settled at the curve of her jaw, and Jacob's long fingers snaked back to the nape of her neck. His eyes searched hers for a moment as if asking for permission, and Bella's pulse sprinted. _Here it comes._

His eyes lazily drifted down to her mouth, where they stayed. Slowly - very slowly - Jacob lowered his lips to hers.

At first it was just a brush: like a breath, warm and sweet. Then he pressed his soft, satin lips to hers. Bella gasped through her nose. His lips were so pliant and hot, as they molded to hers gently. He pulled away with a soft smack and the subtle cling of skin to skin.

Jake looked at her, his eyes darting between hers in wonder. With a sharp intake of breath through his nose, his other hand came up to the small of her back and pulled her closer. This time his lips pressed to hers firmly and unapologetically as he pressed his hard chest against her body.

Bella's hands came up over his smooth pecs to rest on his shoulders as his mouth enveloped hers with long, moist movements. When his tongue pressed between her lips and into her mouth, she fought the urge to gag in surprise, but adjusted.

This was nothing like kissing _him_ had been – Jacob's mouth was hot and demanding. Bella held very still and tried to memorize the steps in this new dance. He made a little grunt against her mouth and wrapped both arms around her urgently, pressing his mouth more enthusiastically to hers.

She couldn't breathe! Bella pushed his shoulders back with a gasp and he released her immediately. She panted softly as she watched his eyes lazily open, desire clearly burning in their depths. It made her uncomfortable.

Something in her expression made him blink and pull back another inch.

"Jesus. Breathing, Jake," Bella tried to smile as she patted her chest suggestively and took a deep breath.

"Yeah," he chuckled pushing her hair back from her face. But she didn't miss the little worried pucker of his brow.

He released her a little more and Bella stepped up a stair awkwardly. Jacob's hands fell to his sides.

"I-I should get in. Charlie's home," she stammered, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks.

Jacob shoved a hand through his short thick hair restlessly. "Yeah. Me too," he mumbled as his gaze swept the ground and he took a step back. "Oh, I'll call you tomorrow to let you know the plan, okay, Bells? You have just this week of school before break?"

"Yeah, don't remind me. Exams," she groaned rolling her eyes.

"Okay… tomorrow then." Beneath the sunny smile he gave her, she could see he was disturbed.

"Ah, Jake..?"

He turned back expectantly.

"Sorry if I-" she coughed uncomfortably and her gaze fell like lead to her feet. "I mean, I don't really have any experience with – with _that_ type of kissing," she mumbled.

With a laugh, he bounded forward up the first step and pulled her into a bone breaking hug_. Oh, that felt so much better_. He leaned down and kissed her lips chastely with a smack and then a sly smile stretched his perfect mouth up at the corner. "That's okay… you know what they say? Practice makes perfect."

Bella sniffed. "Yeah. Definitely." She tried to sound eager, but her his open, happy face twisted her stomach in knots.

"See ya, Bells." Jacob leaned down and pressed his lips again to hers. This time it was lingering and sensual.

He pulled away again with that breathless look of wonder in his eyes and Bella swallowed. "Okay."

With another toothy grin he hopped jauntily back down to the sidewalk and waved.

"Love you, Jake," Bella smiled sincerely, even with the growing lump in her throat.

"Love you more!" he laughed and jogged off into the night.

Bella turned slowly and trudged up the steps. _How about 'love you different?'_

Bella's mind reeled while she numbly went through hearing about Charlie's day, taking a shower, setting out her clothes and packing her bag for school.

That kiss had been very nice: sweet and had felt good – if not a little awkward.

But… inside? Inside she felt _nothing_. It had been almost like just a clinical sensory experience.

Maybe it was just too soon. Or maybe it was really that _he_ _had_ permanently broken her as she suspected. Had he excised her heart from her body forever? Bella was beginning to truly believe that. _Oh, Jacob._ What was she going to do?

She laid on her back and stared at the rice paper lamp above her bed for long, long minutes. She was such a failure. All she ever did was hurt people.

Automatically her mind flashed to Paul's expressive eyes, after she had slapped him today: that soul-deep _betrayal_.

Her eyes burned and a tear slipped down her cheek as she replayed the memory in context of what Jake told her. If he had been beaten growing up, how did it feel to be slapped by someone he didn't even know? How could she have done that to him? She had really reached an all new low.

Bella was certain that under all that rage there was a deep, deep sadness. And for some reason – whether it was that she had inadvertently brought it to the surface today or it was just her generally sensitive nature – it really, _really_ bothered her.

_It bothered her a lot_.

At that moment, as if in sympathy, a lone wolf howled long and low in the distance; it was such a sorrowful, lonely, haunting cry.

And it followed her to her dreams.


	4. Chapter 4 Jedi Mind Tricks

**'**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 - Jedi Mind Tricks<strong>

* * *

><p>'<p>

"Paul?" Emily asked quietly as she opened the screen door to the front porch.

Paul was sitting on the top step, holding his head in his hands.

He didn't move.

He heard her close the wooden door as well as the screen, he assumed it was to give them a little more privacy from the werewolves in the house. But even with supernatural hearing, it would probably be difficult to hear anything over the rowdy music that Embry had put on the mp3 player. He, Quil, Jared and Sam were cleaning up the kitchen… which naturally included just as much horsing around.

Paul had been excused since he hadn't eaten anything. And because…

He grimaced. It was going to be _hell_ when they all phased tonight for the evening Pack run. To have to _hear_ the pity party that was obviously being thrown behind every pair of eyes – except one - was going to be torture. _Goddamn fucking torture. _

His only hope was that Jacob would kill him first.

The entire Pack had gone into** hysterics **when he had imprinted on _Bella Swan_ - right there_ in the middle of the fucking Pack mind_ when they arrived in that meadow that night over a week ago, every single one of them phased. (What kind of shitty luck is that?)

All of them, that is, except Jacob.

Jacob, predictably, had gone ballistic.

After Paul had single-handedly dismembered the dreadlocked leech, Jacob had tried his very best to do the same to Paul himeslef. He might have been successful too - since Paul's wolf was whimpering and crawling like a fucking wuss after Bella who was stumbling home – except that, of course, Sam had stepped in. But Paul had seen Jacob's face at dinner, and it told him tonight might just be his lucky night after all.

"This is _bullshit_," he ground out, watching spit spray over his lap with his vehemence.

Emily sat down beside him with a long sigh. "How was it tonight…did it make it worse?"

Paul squeezed his eyes closed with a curt nod, and leaned his forearms on his knees, every muscle in his body tense. He didn't want her to see his face so he angled it carefully away from her.

"Fuck."

"I thought it might," she said softly. "The more time Sam and I spent together before I accepted the bonding, the harder it got for him."

"_Just him_?" Paul ground out through gritted teeth, still keeping his eyes on the paint spot spilled on the side of the stairs.

"Oh, I definitely felt it too, but it was _nothing_ like the connection after I accepted him and we…ah…" Paul could feel the uncomfortable smile in her voice.

"After you fucked," Paul growled.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence and Paul let his head flop down in chagrin. He had always treated her like the lady she was. _What was wrong with him_?

"I'm sorry Em," he mumbled to his lap.

He felt her hand soothe a circle on her back. "It's okay. I was going to say 'after we made love,' because that's really what it was," she said softly, continuing her gentle strokes.

"Yeah I know. That's the only memory like that he's ever let slip," Paul said gently.

"Really?" She sounded pleased. "Thank God!"

He nodded.

Her hand stilled on his back. "Paul, you guys _know_ I think you should tell her. And I told Sam he should try to convince you too. I don't think it's fair this way – to either of you."

"And _you_ know that option's got about a snowflake's chance in _hell_!" Agitation breached his tenuous floodgates and he sprang lightly down the eight steps to pace restlessly back and forth in front of her. "I don't even _like_ her! What the fuck was my wolf thinking? C'mon…_Bella_ fucking _Swan_? I thought the wolf was supposed to be all-knowing or something. I mean, it fucking figures I would have a _defective wolf_; everything else in my life's been shit. Hey, why not make this freaky supernatural _curse_ - that's not even supposed to be physically possible - _even more_ fucked up too_?_! Fucking shit."

He stopped, panting slightly with the release, and then looked up at her. She had that little knowing smile on her lips. _Damn it._ Emily was the only one who could ever break him down.

"Are you through?" She asked with a humorous lift of an eyebrow. That girl was as solid as a rock, no wonder she was Sam's imprint. As the first to phase, he had desperately needed that calm, level head.

He smirked, "for now."

With a nod she said, "how do you know you don't like her if you don't even _know_ her."

"Believe me, Jake's mind is one big fucking Bell-a-thon." He rolled his eyes. "I know her."

"But _you_ don't know her," she paused, making sure that sunk in. "You see things very differently from Jacob. And you see better… and _more_."

Paul jerked his head up and scowled at her.

Emily smiled. "I know you keep that mind of yours churning so your brothers can't read things you don't want to share. But your sister…" She placed her hand on her chest and said grandly, "your sister doesn't need to read minds. She watches her boys carefully."

Paul blinked.

She let her hand drop and leaned on her forearms and added flippantly, "plus I've known you a long time. And better than most, I'd say."

Paul paced a lap at the foot of the stairs. "But she's fuck- uh, _dated _a _leech_, Em. For months!"

"Yes, I don't understand that either, you'd have to ask _her_ about that one." Emily's mouth hitched up on the mobile side. "But do you want to know something I _do_ know about this Bella Swan? I met her for the first time today – and you know how that usually goes." She pointed to her face.

Paul blinked and then realized she meant her scarring. He always just saw 'Emily.'

"Well of course there was the usual awkwardness. Discomfort. But once we started talking and getting to know each other a little, she didn't give these scars a second look. There's only one other person who's gotten used to them so fast – other than Sam." She raised a brow sagely.

_Paul, himself._

He let out a breath and started pacing again.

"What does that mean?" he grumbled. He knew what it meant, and she knew it.

She told him anyway. "It means that she sees past appearances. She accepts people. And maybe she did that for the leech too, I don't know." Emily sighed impatiently.. "But I do know _you_ do that too. Give her a chance."

Paul snorted. "_Like she gave me one?_ When in Quileute history has an imprint fucking decked her wolf when they first met? I'm fucked up! Even _she_ could see that."

"Actually I think that might have been part of your connection. She doesn't strike me as the slapping type," Emily mused sounding like she had answered her own questions.

"But I do?" Paul spat.

Emily raised a humorous reproving brow. "Besides you're both not in the best space right now. Maybe that's why it happened like this. Maybe you can help each other."

Paul started pacing again, but faster.

Emily continued unperturbed, "she's been in a coma for the last year with a broken heart (or that's what Sam said) and you… you're having a hard time too. It wasn't easy for Sam and me either – you know that."

Paul spun around on her with a low reflexive growl. There was a choking unnamable rage that was rising in him.

"Look Em, your damned Jedi mind tricks don't change the fact that it's already _decided_. By _me_. And believe me deciding to fucking _fight_ this thing is a real no-brainer. The Pack agreed," Paul laughed maniacally. "Hell, even Sam agreed."

Emily tipped her head peacefully. "Minds can be changed."

"No." Paul's heartbeat was racing, his stomach was roiling, his breath coming harsh and uneven. "No! I wouldn't even wish myself on a leech lover like Bella Swan! I mean, fucking look at me! Look at me!" he hit his chest with his fist just as Sam opened the door and stepped out on the porch with assessing concern. Fucking Alpha. He could go fuck himself.

"I live in a shit-hole shack at the edge of the Rez. I have an equally shitty construction job. I have a temper like Satan and rep to match. I'm fucked _up_! I don't want a wife! You know what kind of family I had. I just want a good fuck when I need one, no complications. I have nothing to offer anyone! But _especially_ her! _Especially Bella!_ She deserves _way_ better, Em. Oh, I _want _her…God, I want her." Paul shook his head violently. " No, I want _her_ to have so much better than _me_!"

Paul choked and staggered back. There. His subconscious had finally spit it out: that dark, twisted place and his inner turmoil laid bare for the world to see.

He hung his head in shame, shoulders heaving.

"I should just let Jacob kill me," he rasped fiercely. "'Put me out of everyone's misery."

Emily sprang up and took a step forward, wisely still keeping a safe distance.

"Don't say that. _Ever_," she hissed severely.

Paul looked up with his signature smirk. "Like anyone'd miss me?" He barked a harsh laugh. "Yeah right. Fuck."

Sam sighed heavily. His voice was apologetic and gentle like he was talking to a wounded animal. Perhaps he was. "Paul, man… I wanted to meet before Jake got back. He'll be here any minute-"

Paul interrupted "Nope, Chief. Won't do it. No fucking way in hell. Sick Jake on me if you have to, I don't fucking care." He met Sam's gaze intensely with a vehement baring of teeth. Paul might be an asshole, but he had never disrespected his Alpha like this. He was at his breaking point.

Instead of calling him on it, Sam simply nodded. "Is it better as the wolf?"

As pointedly unruffled and tranquil as Sam and Emily were trying to be, Paul was as turbulent and troubled. A maniacal laugh burst from his sneer. "Shit, _anything's_ better than this."

Sam took the steps down to Emily and glanced at her. She nodded minutely, her face a mask of worry. Sam spoke efficiently, "go. Run for a few days"

With an exhale of relief, Paul instantly started stripping his shorts (Emily was used to seeing her brothers strip at random by now).

"Stay in Pack range - it's a bad time with this leech - and I'll keep Jake from phasing as much as I can. I'll call C&C and get you the week off and we can talk again Friday."

"Paul, I'll leave food at your place." Emily called after the wolf who was already loping through the trees.


	5. Chapter 5  Spring Break

**'**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5 – Spring Break<strong>

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella looked at the clock _again_. The minute hand had moved all of one minute since she last checked. _When_ was the freakin' bell going to ring?

She rubbed her arms briskly and then pushed her hair behind both ears.

"God, Bella. Stop kicking," Jessica hissed with exasperation from beside her.

Realizing her toe had been tapping restlessly against the leg of her desk, she pressed her feet together under her chair. After about 30 seconds though, the same frenetic rhythm was being silently kept on the balls of her feet.

Bella cut her eyes over to Jessica with an grimace of chagrin and she rolled her eyes. "I am _never_ letting you within 100 feet of a cup of coffee again, I swear," she grumbled.

It had been like this all day, and Bella thought if the bell didn't ring soon she would just jump out of her seat as well as her skin. It was a lame excuse. She hadn't drunk any coffee, she hated the taste. Even coffee ice cream.

She wished she knew the _real_ reason she felt like she had downed 14 red bulls in 14 seconds because it wasn't just that it was the last day of school before spring break. Even though she was looking forward to _this _one, for some reason like it was the finish line of a double marathon, it didn't explain why this _entire week_ had been so oddly jittery and nerve-wracking.

_What time was it? God, how could it have only been _**two **_minutes? _

She had gone the through the list of possible culprits on multiple occasions: It hadn't been exams; she'd gotten her requisite Bs and B+s with ease.

It hadn't been the looming threat of a killer vampire on the loose; the Pack hadn't scented Victoria anywhere in the area since that fateful day on Sunday.

It wasn't worrying about Jake or loneliness; it seemed like he had been with her every waking hour she wasn't at school or at work.

He was even with her for the non-waking ones! He had taken to sneaking in her window and wrapping his warm strong arms around her every night until just before Charlie woke up. She didn't really mind it – it was nice not to feel that clawing, aching emptiness she felt when she was alone.

Strangely this feeling seemed to have recently and significantly gotten worse, especially after she found out that Jake was a werewolf. She wondered if it was because she was afraid that she would lose him to the Pack.

Maybe that was it. Well Jacob was certainly taking great pains to convince her otherwise. He was such an awesome best friend.

_Clock? Still three more freakin' minutes? Maybe she was stuck in a time warp._

Or maybe this week she was just channeling Jacob's nerviness. He was definitely on edge too .Hopefully Jacob wasn't regretting that not-quite-memorable kiss also on Sunday. Her performance still made her cringe. He hadn't tried to stick his tongue down her throat again since and she would have felt humiliated that it was because she was such a sucky kisser. But the non-friend physicality of their relationship had continued to steadily and irrefutably increase. It seemed like he never took his hands off her and regular and sweet, sensual kisses had become part of their main menu: in her bed at night, watching TV, hellos and goodbyes… he took any excuse he could.

Bella was grateful that he wasn't pushing his tongue - and _her_ - too hard, but she still felt distinctly uncomfortable with their new boundaries. But she said had she would try though hadn't she? And she would. If this was the only way to keep his precious friendship – the only thing that allowed her to draw in each breath – then a little uncomfortablity seemed like a small price to pay.

She was broken anyway.

_RRRRRIIIIIINNNG_

At the first harsh note of the bell, Bella's chair scraped against the floor as she jumped up, grabbing her notebooks in her arms in one surprisingly smooth motion.

"HaveagoodbreakJess," Bella blurted briskly and pushed her way through students starting to pack their things.

It was a record trip to the locker, and then she was free and skittering down the squeaky school hallways slaloming through the general ambling traffic.

With a distinct sigh of relief she burst through the doors and walked briskly down the sidewalk toward the parking lot. She wasn't surprised to see Jacob leaning against her truck, a lovely vision in a black tee shirt, that was one size too small, and her favorite jeans that made his butt look… well, awesome.

She grinned reflexively. As she neared though, her pace slowed to an assessing stop at the expression on his face. He tried to smile at her, but it got caught in a sickly grimace and a furrowed brow. She launched into a sprint along with her heartbeat.

"What's wrong, Jake?" she panted as she neared him.

His jaw muscles tensed as he bent to place a light kiss on her lips. "Get in the truck, honey. I'll tell you on the way."

Wordlessly she did so, dropping her backpack in the foot well, snapping on her seatbelt and then turning to him expectantly.

He didn't say a word until he had expertly maneuvered out of the parking lot and was out on the road. She heard him swallow. "It's Seth … and Leah."

"What?"

"They phased."

"What? But… b-but Seth is just a kid!" Bella turned to stare out the windshield incredulously. "A-and… and Leah's a _girl_!"

Jacob sat ramrod straight and didn't say anything but his hands tightened on the wheel. They drove in silence for several minutes.

"I'm taking you to Emily's," he announced quietly.

Bella turned to him with a quizzical expression. It wasn't like him to unequivocally make decisions for her like that. It reminded her of … _him_. She automatically wrapped her arms around her middle.

"B-but… Charlie –"

"He's at the hospital –"

"WHAT?" Bella shrieked.

"Shh…sorry, honey. He's not _in_ the hospital," Jacob soothed. "It's Harry Clearwater."

"Oh. Oh my God! What happened!" Bella leaned forward and squeezed herself tighter.

"Heart attack. A real bad one." Jacob said grimly, his jaw muscles tense.

"Oh no…."Bella moaned and collapsed her face in her hands. Harry, Billy and her dad were best friends – "Wait…what about Seth and Leah- did they -?"

"They both phased in a regular ole' sibling thing over some TV thing and that's what set it off."

"Oh my God, that's horrible!" Bella bit her lip and shook her head. She couldn't imagine. But she spent the next several miles trying in the heavy silence. Was _all_ _this_ why she had been _even more_ high-strung today? Had she known about it subconsciously? Was it because she was so attuned to Jake?

When Jacob turned down the road toward the Rez, it snapped Bella out of her racing thoughts.

"Wait, I need to go home. What happens if Charlie- "

"I already told him. He thought it was a good idea," Jacob informed her calmly.

It made good enough sense, she supposed, but something about the way he said it clearly communicated that it was not up for discussion. It was so _unlike_ him.

She tried again, "but maybe Emily won't be cool with me just dropping in to stay the night. I don't want to impose-"

"She already knows you're coming," he quickly supplied.

Bella scowled at his tone. It was so… _final_. "I mean, I don't even have any clothes there! Can I go home and at least pack a bag."

"She can loan you some of hers," he returned curtly.

"She's like 6 inches taller!" Bella sighed loudly. "Jake! I feel like I'm being taken hostage or something! What's going on?"

He glanced over at her several times and then his shoulders deflated. "Look, Bella. Just do this for me, okay? Please? I have to go help Leah_, right now_ – she's scared and running around the forest like a madwoman – uh… mad-wolf. And I really don't want to leave you alone."

"Why?"

"Because," he snapped.

"Have you guys run into Victoria again?" Bella asked, almost hopefully. That would be an easy explanation for his strange mood.

But Jacob shook his head.

"Then why?" she whined like a little kid.

He pressed his lips together for several breaths. "It's just safer that way. I mean what if she comes back? The Rez is protected. Watched. You'll be safe there and I don't want to leave you alone. Just do this for me, okay honey?"

The look in his eyes was so pleading and desperate, that Bella swallowed her retort and just sat back in the seat, acquiescing.

"Thank you," Jacob breathed.

Then didn't speak again the rest of the way.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

As they drove up Sam's driveway, Bella saw that Emily was out under a tree and enjoying the mild weather from behind an easel.

"I didn't know she was an artist," Bella mused. There was a lot that she didn't know about Emily, of course, but somehow the artist part wasn't surprising. She was such an astute observer.

"Yeah, she's a painter," Jacob murmured distractedly as he jerked up the truck's emergency break.

With her gaze trained curiously on Emily, Bella grabbed up her bag and slipped out of the truck. Emily looked up and raised her hand- paintbrush and all – in greeting.

Bella was just returning the wave when Jacob suddenly wrapped her in his arms and instantly into a deep and passionate kiss. She panted her surprise through her nose as the bag dropped and he bent her body soundly. Putting her hands tentatively on his shoulders she tried to keep up with his assertive mouth. There was a demanding ardor to his movements as his hands splayed over her body possessively. Finally Bella pushed against his massive shoulders to signal that she'd had enough. It was hardly appropriate to be trying to swallow her whole in his Alpha's driveway, though she guessed Emily wouldn't take offense. She and Sam had the most loving and intimate relationship she had ever seen in her life. Even in movies.

"Jesus, Jake… how long are you going to be gone?" Bella joked as she gasped for air.

Jacob lowered her feet back to the ground with a complex and searching look in his eye.

"Is everything okay?" Bella asked hesitantly.

He released her and ran his hands back through his hair as his gaze ran over her face.

"Yeah… it is," he finally answered with a wry smile as his finger touched the flush that had ripened her cheeks. "I gotta go… I'll see you tomorrow morning for sure," he said as he backed up slowly, his eyes seeming to inventory her every pore.

It wasn't until he had started to turn around that Jacob glanced up almost incidentally and acknowledged a Emily with a wave.

Bella watched him jog, strong and smooth, back down the road.

With a perplexed twist to her brow, Bella turned around pensively. She finally caught Emily furtively glancing at her over the easel and she snapped out of it to wave.

"Hi Bella," she called with a friendly smile as she stood and wiped her hands on the huge old shirt (most probably Sam's) that she was wearing over her jeans.

Smiling automatically, Bella picked up her bag and strode toward her. "Hi, uh.. sorry about this. I hope I'm not being a pain. I told Jake I didn't mind going home… but he's just –" She stammered and didn't finish the sentence. She realized that she actually _couldn't_.

Emily seemed not to notice and gave her a genuine smile. "It's no trouble at all. I get estrogen-deprived out here with all these boys." Her expression became sober. "And I think it's going to be a long night for them."

"Jake told me. I'm so sorry," Bella whispered somberly.

Emily nodded and sighed. "Life never seems to be easy, does it?"

"Nope. It gets less easy the more you know, huh?" Bella added. She remembered when she was a kid and she thought dropping her ice cream off her cone made for a bad day.

Emily nodded in eager agreement. "Yeah. You have that right."

"Hey! This is amazing! You're really talented!" Bella suddenly exclaimed as she came around the easel. A beautiful landscape scene was being pulled from the white canvas by oil paints and expert strokes. There was so much detail that it almost looked like a photo. "Wow! I wish _I_ could do something like this. I even flunked finger painting in kindergarten," Bella snorted sarcastically.

Emily laughed. "Thanks, it's my one indulgence."

"Good for you. But I think you need several more. Like one for each member of the Pack."

Emily laughed again, as she started putting little tubes of paint back in the tackle box beside her chair.

Bella surveyed the painting again appreciatively. "But this is really _art_ – I mean, not just some hobby," she gushed sincerely.

Emily looked up with a smile. Bella could tell she was pleased by the compliment.

"Actually this is nothing compared to someone I know." Emily looked up from where she was starting wash out a paintbrush. "Guess which one of Jake's brother's is an artist too?"

Bella giggled at her mysterious tone. "Um…Quil?"

Emily shook her head as she swirled the brush around in the cleaner. Her lopsided smile always made her look like she was harboring mischievous secrets. Bella betted she was.

Bella collapsed on the grass, sitting cross-legged and throwing backpack beside her. "Ah… Jared?"

Emily's lips pressed tightly together like she was trying to keep it bursting out on its own. She shook her head.

Bella leaned back on her hands as she relaxed. She hadn't realized how tense she had been around Jacob. Emily was such an easy person to be around – she cultivated a grounded peace and shared it with anyone around her. Definitely a good wife for a werewolf.

"I give up," Bella chuckled, suddenly losing interest in playing as all of her anxiety felt like it was draining into the sweet, fragrant earth. It was a beautiful day – cool, but with big fluffy clouds and some sun. They didn't get many of these kind of springtime days in Forks.

"Paul."

Bella looked up quickly. Emily was watching her with a knowing smile in her eyes.

"_Really_?" Bella choked. Just the mention of his name flooded her with a tsunami of emotion – sadness, embarrassment, chagrin, worry… yearning. Yearning? Wow, she needed to figure out how to put the whole slapping incident to rest.

As Bella's gaze drifted off into space with her thoughts, Emily continued conversationally. "He only uses pencil and charcoal, but if you think my stuff is good, you should see _his_. He has all the same technical ability, but is also able to bring out the _soul _of his subject somehow. I think the way he communicates emotion and movement – a sense of past, present _and_ future - on a still piece of paper is the mark of a gifted and passionate artist. It's not something you can learn. I keep trying to get him to try oils or pastels, but he says they're too expensive."

Bella just incidentally followed Emily's casual nonchalant conversation. She had stopped really paying attention at the word "Paul."

Shaking her head she looked up to find Emily going about putting away her materials, unconcerned with Bella's silence.

"Is he okay?" Bella asked softly.

"Who, Paul?" Emily met her gaze with a raised brow.

Bella nodded.

She took a deep thoughtful breath and released it as she spoke. "I don't know, Bella. He's going through a hard time right now."

"Why? Is it because of me?" She didn't give Emily a chance to answer. "I feel so horrible about hitting him that day. I can't stop thinking about it. Jake told me some of what his life has been like – like getting beaten and stuff – and that makes it even worse. I know it didn't, like, _hurt _him – those guys are all so _tough_," Bella sniffed.

Emily met her gaze with a conspiratorial roll to her eyes.

"But the look in his eyes… it was like.. _betrayal_ or something. I think about him- I mean, I think about it all the time. I- I -… Oh God, I sound so stupid," Bella bit her lip in chagrin. "I'm sorry. It's been kind of a rough week I guess."

"How so?" Emily asked as she snapped the clips down on the tackle box and then sat back in her chair, invitingly.

Bella shook her head. "I don't know. Just really on edge, you know? All week. Like there is this restless feeling in... like the inside of my bones or something. The marrow. Even my teeth are tingling. Ugh," she grimaced.

Emily nodded with a patient composure.

"And then today. _Ohmygod_. I thought I would freakin' jump out of my skin! It was like I actually drank one of those 32oz Starbucks coffees in one sitting. When Jake told me about Harry and then Leah and Seth… I wondered if it was because of all that happened today. Like maybe I was somehow attuned to what was going on in the Pack because of my connection with Jake."

Emily pursed her lips, "could be."

Bella shook her head again. "No, that's probably stupid. Maybe it's the weather or something. Or, maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep."

"You're not sleeping well?" she asked picking a piece of grass off her jeans and flicking on the ground.

Bella shook her head. "Not really. It takes me a while, but _eventually _I sleep… but I have these weird dreams. I wake up feeling like I've been running all night long."

"Interesting," Emily said quietly.

"Jake's been sleeping over every night, so maybe that's part of it. He's so warm! Geesh! He's like a portable sauna. How do you manage with Sam?" Bella looked up with exaggerated vexation.

"I don't even notice it anymore," Emily laughed. "So Jake's been over there every night?"

Bella nodded.

"How do you feel about that?"

Her question surprised Bella. How did she feel about that? She chewed on a hangnail while she thought about it. Finally she looked up. "I don't know. I mean he's my best friend and I don't want to … it's just that...I mean, he wants…" Finally she gave up and collapsed her face in her hand as she shook her head miserably. It was just too complicated. "Never mind."

Instead of pushing her, Emily just slapped her thighs and stood up. "Will you help me carry this stuff in?"

"Sure." Bella dusted herself off and threw her bag over her shoulder.

"I have some laundry to finish and then I can start dinner. I think it's going to be a girl-only night though. Do you want to pick out a movie to watch?" She handed Bella the tackle box. "My only requirement is that it's a chick-flick," she gave her a playful wink.

Bella laughed. "Heck, yeah."

As they trudged up the stairs and into the house, Bella found her thoughts returning to Paul. She really needed to get this slap thing resolved so she could stop thinking about it. Maybe some of her guilt could be appeased if she somehow apologized.

"Emily?"

"Yes," she looked up from where she was putting the easel away in the hall closet.

"Is there anything I can give Paul?"

Emily suddenly choked and coughed a few rounds as she tapped her chest.

"Y'know to apologize?" Bella clarified, putting her hand on the woman's arm. "Do you need some water?"

Emily shook her head, her eyes tearing. "Sorry, wrong pipe," she apologized.

Bella handed her the tackle box. "Anyway…maybe get him something. Buy him some paints or something?"

Emily searched her eyes a moment thoughtfully and then turned and put the tackle box away in the closet. "No, I think buying something would offend him, though it's a kind thought."

Bella hung her head, "Oh, yeah. I didn't mean it that way."

Emily batted her shoulder, "hush. I know. Paul's just really proud that way."

Bella looked up feeling teary-eyed for some reason. What was wrong with her? PMS? But she wasn't due for another two weeks at least.

"Actually I have the perfect thing," Emily pinched her chin sweetly with a gentle smile. "I was going to take over some food to his house this afternoon and you could do that for me. Then I can get a jump on the chores so that we can watch that movie."

"Will he be there?" Bella squeaked.

Emily laughed. "No… he's kind of on vacation. This week has been kind of like a werewolf spring break." She ended quietly, "Except for today."

"I know. It's so..." Bella sighed forlornly. She was worried about her dad.

Emily interrupted her thoughts. "So will you take it? It is just about a mile from here… you could take a nice walk."

The thought was extremely appealing. "That sounds awesome… but how will he know that I brought it?"

A wry smile quirked Emily's mobile side and she tapped her nose with her finger. "Werewolves, remember?"


	6. Chapter 6 Torn

**'**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 – Torn<strong>

* * *

><p><em>'<em>

_Leah! Leah, stop!_ Jared tore after the crazed wolf who was careening through the underbrush, eyes wild, mouth foaming in absolute terror.

_Sam, you need to get Jacob. He's the only one she'll listen to._ Jared's voice rippled through the Pack mind.

_He's coming. _Sam panted from where he held Seth down under a large paw even while the cub growled and twisted in panic.

At that, Paul picked his muzzle up from where it rested on his paws in the leaves and achingly stood, shaking off his pelt. He had been watching the scene play out in the Pack mind all afternoon.

Watching Harry Clearwater clutch his chest over and over and over through two sets of horrified eyes.

Watching a boy – _too young_ – and a _girl_! A girl too damaged to handle the shock of Phasing and the resultant inversion of reality and life as they knew it.

Embry and Quil were yanked out of school and sent to patrol the territory. _Protecting, always protecting_. The two older wolves – Alpha and second – chased down the traumatized siblings. We were all forced to watch the withering damage done to innocence by each mile.

Paul watched all of this from where he quivered on the forest floor - his wolf whimpering and whining – torn between desperately wanting to help and the exigent and debilitating obsession that was _Bella_.

It was better as the wolf...a little bit better. The imprint transformed with Phase from a bone-deep emotional _needing_, a driving sexual hunger, and blistering sensual desire into merely an iron-clad protective compulsion.

This was _far_ less threatening to the man.

But still it was hardly endurable.

The wolf's instinct also included a chilling territorial possessiveness - that also lived in the man - so knowing that _Jacob_ was spending each long dark night with his arms wrapped around her was unbearably tortuous.

_Pure oppressive, relentless, and undiluted agony._

Paul had once made the mistake of being in wolf form when Jacob phased to run home one morning and it literally almost shattered him into pieces. Unintentionally Jacob's mind held the last thing he saw – and Paul found he couldn't blame him. That vision of Bella – curled on her side, her cheek pillowed on her hand, bare shoulder hitched up to her chin, lips lax, hair splayed wildly over the pillow – almost drove him insane.

Maybe it did.

Paul's days were passed pacing back and forth protectively just behind the tree line behind her school, drawing the smallest trickle of comfort in _knowing_ that she was right there -safe - not 200 feet away. He looked forward to it immensely. Every single day.

But at night.

At night – when _he _was with her – Paul ran.

And he ran.

And he ran.

Until his sides hurt, his tongue lolled dry out the side of his mouth, the bed of his nails were sore from digging into the ground. Then, just before sunrise, he would Phase back to the man and retreat to his cabin to attempt to stuff tasteless nourishment down his throat.

Usually he would just end up drawing.

_Bella_.

The slithering length of his entrails were pulled along the dark silky line of each pencil stroke as he tried to recreate something that could not be duplicated. Finally, hands shaking, body aching, when he could stand it no more, the man would step off his porch and land on four paws.

And start it all over again.

Trotting down to the stream by the man's house, the wolf dove into the small eddying pool and felt the cleansing cold water tug at his fur. Paul Phased underwater - an eerie sensation – and then surfaced with a gasp at the cold.

It was painful.

Physical pain felt _good_, in contrast to this cancerous yearning eating away at his heart. He smiled.

Rubbing the filth from tender skin under icy currents, he then stood and walked to the tree where he always hung his shorts. He pulled them on and shucked the water from his short hair. Letting his head fall back to the waning light of the day, he took a deep breath as he stretched and tensed each fallow human muscle. One at a time.

Finally bare feet walked silently over forest floor. Up the banks of the stream bed toward his cabin nestled under the trees.

He lifted his face to the dusky breeze that rustled the trees…

And he froze.

That scent of hers that had been indelibly etched into every synapse of his brain played at the back of his mouth like wildflower honey.

_Fuck_.


	7. Chapter 7 Damage

'

* * *

><p>Chapter 7 - Damage<p>

* * *

><p>'<p>

The late afternoon sun dappled the road as it filtered through the overarching canopy of trees. Bella walked leisurely over the leaf-covered, crunching gravel, swinging the canvas bag packed by Emily in a gentle arc. She hadn't felt this relaxed in some time. Even with the maddening tingle and edginess, she still felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Whether it was being out in the woods on this peaceful back road, the fact that she was finally going to be able to put this incident to rest, or simply that spending afternoon with Emily had been so enjoyable, she welcomed the respite.

As she neared the bend in the road that Emily had described, she saw the little cottage set back in the trees. It was a small clapboard building – like many on the Rez – unpainted, but well-enough kept. Her pace slowed at the sight of a motorcycle of some sort parked along the side.

But Emily had said he wouldn't be here.

_But what if he were? What then? _

With a purse to her lips she decided she would just tell him the truth. Apologize, hand him his care package and then be on her way.

Nodding resolutely to the reasonable plan, Bella took a deep breath at the bottom of the four stairs up to the rail-less porch, and then jogged bravely up them. The old wood creaked. She raised her fist, hesitating only a second, and knocked thrice briskly against the weathered wood.

She waited, turning to look out at the deserted forest surrounding the house. It was peaceful enough to be wilderness, even though just around the corner was a more residential area. The birds called to one another in the treetops and nearby a stream babbled providing a serene soundtrack to the scene.

With one more rap on the door going unanswered, Bella shrugged a shoulder to her ear and turned the doorknob. Especially with a cop father, it seemed odd that some people didn't lock their doors, but it certainly made sense for anyone in the Pack. An intruder could be scented and tracked down with ease.

She pushed the door open only wide enough to slip through, feeling intrusive entering someone else's home though Emily had told her to do so. Stepping into a dim room almost as large as the entire structure, her discomfort transformed to dismay. She realized the _other_ reason he didn't lock his door: there was nothing to steal.

Perturbed by the sparseness of the furnishings she crossed into the center of the room and spun around with an open mouth. In the far corner was a double bed that was neatly made and beside that a chest of drawers with a pair of workman's boots set neatly beside it and crowned with a scuffed hard hat. Along the wall to the right wall were two doorways: an ancient kitchen evident through one and a dark tiny bathroom through the other. Along the front of the house was a battered couch and a weight set. But the main (and only) focus of the room was a huge old wooden desk on the far wall with a folding chair before it.

She crossed the creaky floor slowly, her eyes taking in every sparse detail as she made her way to the kitchen. Maybe it was that the majority of the room was empty space that it seemed so ascetic, or maybe it was that there was no television, no stereo and very little color.

Bella's brow furrowed as she passed through the doorway to the tiny basic kitchen; she knew he wasn't rich, but even so, the house seemed overly austere.

Setting the bag down on the card table set with one folding chair (the mate for the one at the desk), Bella rummaged past the cookies and bread to find the items that needed refrigeration: a left-over roast and a quart of milk. Bella opened the half-size, rusting refrigerator, that was mostly bare, and set the items on the bottom shelf by a row of beer.

She closed it with a hollow _thunk_ and turned around, rubbing her hands on her thighs nervously. Shuffling back out into the main room, her eyes were drawn immediately to the heavy desk which was enticingly strewn with papers, stacks of notebooks, books and other anonymous items. It was the only area of the house that seemed lived-in at all.

Bella's feet stopped. Surely _one little peek _wouldn't matter? Emily had said that he was a talented artist, and Bella's curiosity was begging for satiation.

Pursing her lips, she took a deep breath and strode toward the desk. She saw drawing pencils in various states of sharpness and lengths and smudged boxes of opened charcoal scattered over sheets and sheets of drawing paper. She was disappointed to see that no sketches were visible in the disarray. Why were all of the many papers on the desk blank? Had they all been carefully turned upside down?

_Okay, you tried. Leave now, Bella_, her conscience pleaded.

But she was so _close_. Reaching out a shaking hand – and feeling distinctly guilty – Bella pulled one of the papers out from under a pencil and turned it over.

And gasped.

It was a drawing of the Pack, lounging around the table while eating dinner at Emily's house... and it was _absolutely stunning_. As Emily had said, his technical ability was astounding: _perfect_ proportions, a flawless sense space and dimension, and features detailed and accurate enough to be a photograph. But what made her slack-jawed in amazement were the tiny, exacting strokes and shading that made each person come _alive_. Her gaze automatically searched for some photograph that he had used as a model, but there were none to be seen anywhere. This came from his head?

Her gaze returned to the artwork – it couldn't be called a sketch, it was too intricate and perfect. She could hear the laughter, see the movement, hear the sound of Embry's sloppy chewing, feel the affection between Sam and Emily. Each Pack member's personality and _energy_ was exquisitely captured in whatever they were doing at the time - without seeming contrived - like they had been frozen in a single perfect moment of time. She had never seen anything like it. The drawing had a _soul_.

Now she understood why his house was so empty. Who needed things when he had such a vibrant world in his head – _and_ could recreate it on paper.

Excited to see more now, she tossed the drawing down haphazardly – figuring she could return it to its original position later – and turned over the next.

Bella squeaked in surprise and took an involuntary step back. The drawing in her hand was a portrait of…_her_.

Swallowing, her gaze ran over every detail. Like the first, the skill, eye, and execution rendered an impossibly realistic image. But what was so eerily surreal was that it was more like looking in a mirror than any photograph had ever been. The drawing was of Bella sitting in Biology, gazing pensively out the window. The crazy thing was, she knew exactly what she had been thinking at the time based on her complex and perfectly captured expression; she had been wondering whether Jacob was going to pick her up, and actually hoping that he wasn't. Bella blushed.

As her shock and astonishment waned, it was replaced by a chilling realization. _Wait, when had Paul seen her at school? _

Hastily she picked up another piece of paper. Again it was _her_, talking to Angela in the parking lot. Another: Jacob with his arm around her at his shop. Still another…reading on the back porch.

Bella rifled through drawing after drawing – all carefully detailed renderings of _her_!

The last one she picked up was not an actual scene - it was a portrait of her looking straight at the artist as if posed. She lingered on this one, bringing a finger to ghost the surface of the drawing – almost to assure herself that it wasn't a reflection. She felt like this one was a montage of all of her inner thoughts and emotions: all somehow communicated clearly – at least to her – in the minute expressions of her face.

Yet - even with all of her shortcomings and her unmemorable looks on display- he had also somehow managed to make her look… _beautiful._

"Looking for something, little girl?" A velvet bass voice seemed to slither up her body along with the chills up her spine.

With a gasp, Bella whipped around to find Paul, indolently standing just inside the door. In the utterly silent way of the wolves, he had slipped into the room with even the squeaky old floorboards none the wiser.

"N-no… I j-just..." her stammer and her pounding heart caught in her throat.

Paul's lips curved up in a slow lopsided smile as he lifted the opposite brow. "Liar," he whispered.

Bella pressed her lips together and glanced down at the drawing still in her hand, dropping it on the desk like it had burned her fingers. She looked back up at him sheepishly, letting her hair fall partially over her face.

With a long audible exhale, Paul leisurely backed up against the door, closing it with a click and his broad shoulders as he leaned against it. He pinned his hands behind him – like he'd done at Emily's that night- as his gaze ran unapologetically over every inch of her body with an unnerving predatory calm. Bella's heart sprinted.

Dressed only in dark shorts slung low on narrow hips, the dim light iced the smooth lines of the lithe, sculptured musculature of his biceps, chest and abs. A quiet power rippled around him that was dripping with an incontrovertible masculinity.

She both heard and saw him lick his lips. "Oh, ho - ho, _Bella_" the words stretched languorously over a dark breathy chuckle. "You _really_ shouldn't be here."

The hairs went up on the back of her neck as Bella swallowed thickly. "I-I know… I'm sorry… I – I was just, uh, bringing you food for –"

Paul feigned a slow solemn nod, his lips twisted in a sly smile.

In an instant his face frosted over eerily in dispassionate intensity as he pushed off the door.

Hands still behind his back, he took slow, deliberate steps into the room, moving with the same flowing tension of mercury. His eyes, however, belied his eerily languid movements and were sharp, intense… feral.

"Why are you here, Bella?" he asked again, his voice laced with a cashmere undercurrent of warning. _She shouldn't lie to him again._

"I was – " Bella worried her lip and pulled her knit sleeves down over the heels of her hands nervously.

He cocked his head. Wolf-like.

She took a deep breath, and let her gaze wander. It was too hard to speak and look at him at the same time. "I felt really bad about what happened the other day. You know, when I slapped you. It's really been bothering me. Jake t–" she stopped mid-word and glanced up at the subtle rumble that could have been a growl. When it wasn't repeated, she continued, "Jake told me some of what happened when you were a kid."

As he neared her, Bella instinctively sidled around the edge of the room. "No one should ever be hit. And _I_ shouldn't have hit you." She paused and furrowed her brow thoughtfully as her hands twisted in her sleeves. "And I think I _did_ hurt you."

Paul barked a mocking laugh.

Bella met his gaze with a scowl, absently switching her direction around the room. "Not like _that_. I mean you're a 'big bad macho werewolf' and all," she rolled her eyes with an irreverent snort and then paused. Her voice was soft and serious as she struggled to find her next words, "But I think it hurt …_inside_. Especially because it was some stupid girl you don't even know." She licked her lips. "So I've been trying to figure out what I could do to apologize. And I guess I wanted to talk to you about it."

"Hmm… I see," he crooned.

A cold wash of adrenaline made Bella suddenly stop, her eyes snapping to Paul as she realized that he had been furtively changing his steps to mirror her own.

_So he was always between her and the door. _

A shrewd smirk hitched his lips when he saw the understanding in her face and Bella's pulse skipped a beat. But something adamant kept true fear from blossoming within her. He wouldn't hurt her, no matter how intimidating he was trying to be. It was a soul-deep _knowing_.

She cleared her throat and lifted her chin when that truth settled over her like an old comfortable shirt and she continued, "Emily said you were an artist too, and I was curious. And geesh, _I'm_ not an artist or anything, but I've never seen _anything_ like your drawings. I mean, you're _really_ _good_. Like, _professional_ - good." She paused as a blush rose warm to her cheeks. "B-but w-why are there so many of _me_? I mean, are you some kind of stalker or something?" She joked nervously.

"Most definitely… of the very worst kind." He grinned wickedly as he inched toward her.

Bella pursed her lips at the smoldering look in his eye. "I'm not afraid of you , Paul," she stated quietly, for his benefit as well as her own.

"Oh, you should be," he murmured holding her hostage with his burning gaze. "Didn't your _boyfriend_ warn you about me?"

"My boyfriend? _Jake_?" This time she heard the growl clearly. At the mention of Jacob, she felt a subtle rippling vertigo: confusion. Her fingernails dug into her palms: _focus_. Every instinct in her body was screaming not to let her attention waiver for an instant in this game.

"Um, he said you were dangerous," she couldn't help the break in her voice.

"And I am, Bella. Very dangerous. Especially for you." He spoke softly and evenly, even as he unerringly continued to stalk her. "You should listen to him. Your _boyfriend_."

Bella gulped but stood her ground.

Paul continued his liquid slink until he was mere inches from her. Then he stopped.

He was so close that she could feel the heat radiating off his bare chest across her cheeks. She could smell his scent: musky, earthy, male.

_Oh, God, he smelled so good._

Bella sucked in a breath through her teeth, but stubbornly trained her eyes straight ahead at the nipple set in his smooth brown skin inches from her nose. His measured, slow breaths made it rise and fall. Something made her want to lean forward and take it in her mouth. Bella blinked rapidly at the thought.

For an outrageously long minute, he stood immobile and silent -so close to her that she swore she heard his heart beating -like he was testing her to see what she would do. Bella felt her own breath skate across her lips in uneven, shallow pants.

With a luxurious slowness, without touching her, Paul's ab muscles rippled as he leaned forward. "Look at me," he whispered breathily over her hair.

Licking her lips, Bella slowly raised her head and came face to face with...

_Paul_

Her breath hitched.

_He was gorgeous._

Even with his face set in its intense and unfathomable expression, his lips were naturally hitched up at one corner, the opposite quirk to his eyebrow balancing it out delectably. It made him look at once cunning and fierce and very, very perceptive. She was mesmerized.

His dark piercing gaze darted between her eyes for a moment and then lazily trailed down her face, washing pointedly over every millimeter as if taking an immaculate inventory. She could hear his breath snag and unravel. Just like hers.

The tension was unbearable. Bella made a little inadvertent noise in her throat from the unbidden choking desire that bubbled up over her body, viscous and burning like Napalm.

Paul's eyes snapped back to hers and a ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Eyes locked with hers, his lips parted and the tip of his tongue peaked out to trace with sensuous slowness over his full lower lip.

"Don't move," his words were merely a breath in the back of his throat. And with that he lowered his face towards hers.

Slowly.

_Agonizingly_ slowly.

Bella closed her eyes, suddenly craving the touch of his lips against hers.

When it didn't come, her eyes popped open to find him watching her - _always watching her_ - and so close her eyes had to cross. His breath spilled warm and moist over her lips and she inhaled him. His gaze softened behind fluttering lashes as his own inhale coaxed the answering exhale from her mouth.

Time had lost its meaning hours ago it seemed as Bella stood with her face tipped up, Paul's body towering over her, as they strung each breath along a fine line between them. In, out… in, out. Bella struggled with her hitching, erratic pants so she could greedily pull every last warm, sweet drop of him into her lungs, into her body. With each draw, she melted on the inside, the runoff pooling between her legs, warm and heavy.

"Do I turn you on, little girl?" Paul murmured over her lips in a voice of dark chocolate.

Pride made her deny it with a minute shake of her head.

He sniffed a laugh, cool against her check. "Liar," he mouthed silently and a slow smile stretched his perfect lips taut.

He moved then and she felt warmth cascade over her cheek in the skipping staccato of his breath. Carefully, slowly, he ghosted his mouth along her jaw and then followed her pulse down her neck. His short hair brushed her cheek and she gasped from the contact. Every nerve was on fire.

A purr vibrated deep in his chest as he drew in a shaky breath at the crook of her neck. "_**Mine**_," he pushed the whispered word huskily along his exhale.

Bella reeled, and rocked back on her heels as her knees buckled in a rippling wave of ardor.

With a groan, Paul abruptly jerked himself away, so forcefully that he teetered on the outside edge of his foot. Catching himself, he strode briskly past her to his desk, leaving Bella's entire world spinning on its ear even while every cell in her body frantically protested the loss of his proximity.

_What was wrong with her?_ He hadn't even touched her. Bella squeezed her eyes shut. For several minutes she could only stand there, listening to her heart beating frantically in her breast. She struggled to gather the strands of sense to restring a million pieces of herself that had scattered like so many pearls of a broken necklace. She felt like a clumsy child, scrabbling to gather them up from where they rolled haphazardly about on the floor. Finally giving up, with a deep resetting breath, she opened her eyes again and turned around.

Paul was carefully sifting through the drawings and placing them in a notebook. His movements were exacting and precise, but she didn't miss the tremor in his hands.

Bella started when his deep voice finally spoke, his back still turned to her. "Tell me something… what makes a little girl want to _fuck_ a blood-sucking corpse?" His voice slipped like hypnotic silk in contrast to the crass words.

Taken aback, she blinked and then scowled. "Stop _calling_ _me_ _that_," she complained, unintentionally sounding like she had asked him a million times and she was finally fed up.

Paul glanced behind him with a surprised lift of his brow, his mouth quirked at the corner.

He turned back to fiddling with the papers on the desk. "Alright. So what makes a _small woman_ want to fuck a blood-sucking corpse?" _Was that a smile in his voice?_

Bella huffed and rolled her eyes. "Well, we never–" she started automatically and then stopped. What business was it of his anyway?

"You never _fucked_," he supplied helpfully and turned around with a smirk that was most definitely mischievous.

Bella wished she were sophisticated enough to deliver some scathing comeback, but all she could do was blush and drop her gaze.

And when she did, she felt the hole in her chest throb. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "And - and I didn't think of him like that, anyway. I mean all the Cullens did the best they could – they couldn't help what they were. So to me, he was just…E-Edward. And he was the only person in the world who ever made me feel-… I felt-… I thought-…" her voice evaporated as the hole in her chest threatened to engulf her.

Bella squeezed her eyes shut; she couldn't talk about this right now. She couldn't talk about this _ever_. She looked up expecting derision, but she was surprised to see him watching her intently with a serious expression… and concern.

She pulled an ear up to her shoulder uncomfortably. "I- I'm sorry… I-" She felt like such a loser. Why did she still fall apart when she thought about _him_?

Paul turned all the way around to face her, with a sober furrow to his brow. "You loved him," he stated quietly, all traces of mockery gone.

Bella bit her lip and nodded quickly.

"And he hurt you." Not questioning. Not incredulous. Not judgmental.

Bella nodded again mutely and her eyes started to burn.

_Oh, dear God, __**no**__. Not here, not now._

She sniffled as she struggled to reign in the impending tears.

With a low guttural noise and wolf reflexes, in an instant Paul was enfolding her in his arms. He pulled her gently to his chest and his gravely growl smoothed out into a soft, wordless croon.

Stiffening initially in surprise, she found that she simply couldn't hold onto the anxious sadness in his arms and it all slipped easily from her shoulders, like a silk shift to pool at her feet. Her arms seemed to encircle his broad torso of their own accord and she pressed her cheek to the smooth warm skin over his heart. Its rhythm was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.

The tinny tingle in her bones that had been driving her mad was instantly extinguished by his touch. In fact, Paul's long, muscular arms seemed to gather all the tattered remnants and pieces of herself; pulling them all together and holding them in his embrace.

For the first time in her life, she felt whole: that sucking hole in her chest was plugged, that aching loneliness was soothed, her feelings of incompleteness and inadequacy were razed by a sensation of utter security. All while a delectable languid yearning rose sweet in her heart and the slow burn of desire bubbled up from her core.

Paul just held her to him for several minutes, swaying slightly as if rocking her, as his hands drew lazy circles on her back. Finally he pulled back just enough to silently look into her eyes and with one hand he brushed the back of his knuckles over her cheek.

Bella's heart skipped at the unmitigated tenderness in his gaze – it showcased a vulnerability as extreme as his anger and severity. In that instant she understood -beyond a doubt- that this was a profoundly sensitive man who had gotten the caring literally beaten out of him.

_Damaged. _

_Like her._

Bella blinked against the burning of an entirely different type of tears and one broke free from her lashes.

Paul's eyes snapped compulsively to the glistening drop and, without hesitation, he leaned down and kissed it gently from her cheek with hot lips. Another tear followed and he brushed it away, rolling it on his tongue, then another. Soon the tears had stopped altogether but he was still raining light, sweet kisses all over her face. Without even thinking about it, Bella turned her face up to capture his mouth.

When their lips met, it was like a sonic boom; a kiss that was instantly overwhelming with its bone-deep passion. With a growl, Paul wrapped his arms around her and crushed her to him, bending her to his body as his impassioned mouth covered hers.

Her lips parted willingly. But Paul's tongue didn't plunder; it traced the quivering shape and fullness of them with a delicacy that belied the frantic play of his hands as they cataloged every inch he could without altering his possessive embrace. Inviting him with an encouraging tongue, their mouths unfolded, opening to one another. The delicious deepening of the kiss made Bella boneless and aching for more.

_More. More now. __**Mine**__._

Bella's hands reached up and encircled his neck, pulling him closer. _Oh, closer._ She couldn't get close enough. As if in answer to her body's demand, Paul stooped and easily lifted her hips up by one strong forearm. Bella ardently wrapped her legs around his waist, her fingers eagerly trying to memorize every line of his chest, tracing his jaw, raking through his hair.

"_Holy shit_," his curse tingled on her lips even while he stalked the few steps to the desk. With a sweep of his arm and a crash, he set her butt down on the desk, taking advantage of his free hands to explore her body. In contrast to what had become a rabidly fervent kiss, his hands were surprisingly gentle as they ghosted over her arms, down her back - raising her nipples with a palm, drawing fire up her neck with long fingers.

As if her body were combustible tinder, Bella was burning, Each sensation stoked an inferno that was crackling deep inside her, its flames licking and charring everything in their wake, leaving only a parched cry for satiation.

Mouths still rapturously joined, Paul's hands rested at the back of her head and tangled in her hair as he slowly leaned over her, supporting her with this arms until she was lying back on the hard surface, pillowed on his palms. His body pressed down over hers and Bella whimpered at the delicious feel of his weight. She tightened her legs around him as he began to push his body against her rhythmically. Groaning deep in her throat, she arched, rubbing her crotch against him brazenly with desire. Bella could feel his arousal through the thin material of his shorts pressing right where she wanted it.

_And she wanted it._

_She _needed _it. Now._

Paul gasped and left her lips, nipping frantically down her jaw to follow her pulse point to where he suckled ravenously, marking her.

_Oh, yessss. __**His**__._

She threw her head to the side to give him better purchase and pushed her neck into his covetous mouth.

Right _now._

Oh, God she was burning! If he didn't give her what was her body was screaming for soon, she felt like she would implode.

"Paul," she cried cravingly, her voice hoarse with need.

Her moan of his name made him suddenly freeze as if he had been slapped. Again.

"FUCKING SHIT!"

Bella's heart jumped into her throat as he tore his mouth away, simultaneously slamming both hands down on the table on either side of her head with a thundering smack.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to capture her sprinting breath and reign in the rabid longing that was tearing apart every cell of her body; it was a physical pain.

Hands prone, Paul's face pressed into her neck as his shoulders heaved, his muffled gasps pulling at the skin over her collarbone .

Bella was reeling, a vertigo so violent that nausea twisted her stomach into knots. Her fingers tentatively relaxed from where they still dug into his shoulders.

"_Don't move_," he rasped desperately, his voice cracking with stress as he panted through his nose like a racehorse. "Fuck. _Fuck_! I'm gonna lose it. _Shit_."

Bella froze

She felt a rumble in the chest still pressed soundly to hers."_**Mine**_," he growled savagely, sounding more animal than man. She could feel the quiver in his muscles from the effort of holding himself in check.

Suddenly she realized_, it wasn't the _Phase_ he was fighting… he was fighting __himself__**.**_

Finally with a choking wheeze, he pushed away from her a few inches, tilting his face so that it rested in her hair by her ear.

She heard him lick his lips.

"You're a virgin, aren't you." It was statement, not a question. He made a little strangled sound and then swallowed loudly. "Do you know how _fucking close_ I am to ripping these _fucking_ clothes off your body and _fucking_ taking you right now?"

An involuntary whimper of yearning broke free from her lips.

In response, Paul growled low, and she felt it vibrate sensuously down her body. With a heady sigh, she reflexively arched against him.

"_**Stop**_!" he snarled.

Bella stopped.

For several minutes, the only sound was Paul's racing breath, spilling hot and moist over her neck and condensing in her hair.

Finally, he whispered, "Did you know that if you let me _fu-ck_," the K hovered in the back of his mouth, "you, then you're _mine_? **Mine**," he growled the word. "Bound to me by this fucking curse_ forever_. No second chances."

"Wha-w.." Bella stammered - her mind felt shattered into a million incoherent shards.

"I didn't think so," he hissed. "You really, _really_, don't want that, believe me," he murmured over a dark disparaging chuckle.

After a several more deep rasping breaths, he pulled back so he was inches from her face. His eyes were wild and luminescent.

_Wolf_.

Pressing his lips together with the effort, Paul began to incrementally peel his body off hers, his gaze intense -like a predator waiting for his prey to so much as twitch so he could go for the kill.

Eyes rounded, world spinning, Bella didn't move a muscle. Or breathe.

When he was standing upright again, he whipped his face around with a guttural snarl and stalked to the other side of the room. Leaning forward, he splayed both hands against the far wall and let his head hang as he roughly panted.

For a moment Bella did nothing. She couldn't.

Then, inhaling deeply for the first time in several minutes, she slowly sat up, fighting dizziness and her aching body. Lowering herself off the desk, and steadying herself against it as the floor undulated under her feet, she tried to regain any type of balance.

_Any type of balance at all._

All the while she kept her gaze nervously trained on the man shuddering across the room, the muscles in his back and arms twitching and rippling.

Paul seemed to know when she was finally able to stand on her own. "You need to get out of my house Bella." His voice was calm and breathily monotonous. "You need to leave right now."

Wrapping her arms around herself as if it could somehow hold together the pulverized pieces, Bella stumbled obediently toward the door. She was beyond confused, beyond frightened, beyond ashamed, beyond feeling anything at all.

As her shaking hands clumsily fumbled with the door knob, Paul hissed contemptuously to the wall, "go ask your _boyfriend_ what imprinting is, Bella. See what he says."

Finally, her numb fingers were able turn the knob and she tore the door open.

"Oh and Bella?" Paul called quietly.

She stopped in the doorway, her head tucked, cheeks burning. She couldn't look at him.

His hoarse whisper was barely audible, "Don't ever come back."

She lurched through the door, slamming it behind her, and stumbled down the few steps tripping and falling on the last one. Desperately scrambling in the dirt to stand again, she started running.

_Running_.

_Sprinting_ as fast as she could away from his house as the sound of broken glass and splintering crash-after-crash thundered from inside.


	8. Chapter 8 Running

'

* * *

><p>Chapter 8 – Running Ragged<p>

* * *

><p>'<p>

Emily stood at the table chopping vegetables. The slow regular rhythm of the knife kept time to the lyrical Celtic music that spun through the kitchen. She loved her kitchen. The dusk was whispering in pink tones through the open, peaceful space and it smelled of fresh baked bread and fresh herbs she had picked from her garden for their simple dinner.

She heard the front door slam.

"Bella? How'd it go? Did you find it-" She stopped mid-sentence as Bella briskly strode into the room, eyes trained singly on her backpack where she had left it on the bench.

"I-I've gotta go," she mumbled breathlessly without looking up. She jerkily snatched up the bag and spun on her heel.

"Hey … is everything-" Bella was already out of the kitchen.

Wiping her hands on the rag over her shoulder, Emily dropped the knife and hurried after her. "Wait! Bella?"

Bella tripped on the rug in the living room and caught herself on the armrest on the couch, continuing her frenetic pace toward the front door in a stumble.

"Heeeyyy… Wait," Emily soothed as she caught up with her and put a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder as she was opening the door.

At the touch, Bella's shoulders immediately deflated and she hung her head miserably. Her breath was racing like she had just sprinted a mile.

_Oh no._

"Bella, honey. What happened?" Emily asked softly.

Bella uncharacteristically jerked her shoulder out from under Emily's hand and leaned her forehead against the door.

She watched as Bella's hunched shoulders began to quake with sobs, punctuated by gasping sniffles. "What happened, Bella?" Emily's whisper was laced with worry.

Bella just shook her head against the door, with a hiccuping sob.

Reaching out a hand, Emily urged the girl around to face her. This time, Bella easily acquiesced, her head hanging miserably.

"Bella. _Talk to me_, honey," she encouraged gently.

With a juicy sniffle, Bella slowly raised her face. Emily gasped at the torment in her eyes: her pupils were mere pinpoints, her brow drawn in abject despair, her lips swollen and quivering. Emily's gaze took inventory of the despondency, and then snapped in shock to the prominent deep, purple bruise on her neck.

_It wasn't supposed to happen like this._ Emily's mind frosted with the cold chill of fear.

Emily squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. When she opened them, Bella was staring through her, her eyes unfocused, tears flowing freely over her splotchy cheeks.

"He was there," Emily stated quietly.

Bella nodded blankly; a strange, loose, marionette-like movement.

_Oh, God, no. He wasn't supposed to be there. _Emily licked her lips. "Come sit down, honey. Let me get you some tea." She reached out to take her hand, but Bella tore it out of her grasp, with a little defiant grunt.

"Bella – Bella, honey, did he _hurt_ you?" Emily asked carefully, her throat was dry.

Bella's eyes focused suddenly, meeting Emily's gaze with an obvious disorientation, her breath rasping in shallow and quick pants through her nose. She was in shock, Emily realized.

Emily swallowed thickly and pressed her lips together. "Bella. I'm so, _so_ sorry. He wasn't supposed to be there. I didn't know, I swear."

"You didn't KNOW?" Bella yelled suddenly, making Emily take a step back in surprise. Turning just as abruptly, she yanked open the door.

"N-No.. I never would have sent ...he was supposed to be running… I- I'm sorry…" Emily's words raced desperately as she trailed after her.

Bella paused on the porch as her agonized voice clawed its way out of her throat. "I threw myself at him – oh, God! I threw myself at him like some… l-like some _whore_!" she covered her face with her hand and a mortified sob. "He almost… we almost… _Oh my God_! What's wrong with me? Jake… J-Jake is gonna kill me," She jogged down the steps, making a beeline for her truck. "This is _crazy_! I'm _crazy_!"

"Bella, stop. Wait –"

Bella spun around on her with a fierce expression that was a Molotov cocktail of anger, humiliation and hopelessness. "WHAT'S **IMPRINTING**, EMILY!" she challenged hoarsely – as her wild gaze flitted over Emily's face.

Emily sucked in a deep breath, "It's when-"

Bella interrupted harshly, "See _you knew_! You _all_ knew!" She whipped back around and stalked toward the car, her pitiful weeping contrasting with the fury in her step. She ripped open the door and violently hurled her bag across the cab.

Throwing herself into the driver's side, Bella leaned over to fetch the keys from the glove box as she mumbled senselessly under her breath over and over "_I just need to get out of here, I just need to go home, I need to go_ ..."

Bella's shaking fingers struggled to fit the key into the ignition. Emily grabbed the door, before she could close it, "Wait, let me drive you Bella… you shouldn't be –"

"Just leave me alone," Bella hissed darkly and yanked the door out of Emily's grasp, closing it with a crash that vibrated the window.

Inside the cab, Bella collapsed her forehead on the steering wheel, as convulsive sobs shook her entire body.

With an agonized frown, Emily helplessly splayed her palm on the driver's side window. She wished she knew what to do.

Finally Bella sat up, wiping ineffectively at her soaked, red cheeks. Taking a deep breath, she bit her lip and turned the key: the old truck sputtered to life. Without even glancing at Emily, she jammed it emphatically into reverse, turning to look out the back window.

Emily stepped away from the vehicle as Bella inched it jerkily down the driveway. If it were anyone else but Bella, Emily would have been worried, but she was such a conservative driver normally, she didn't think she would be in any real danger on the short trip home on these back roads.

As the red pick-up disappeared around the bend, Emily turned around toward the house.

Then again, she had thought taking a bag of leftovers to Paul's would be safe. Emily stopped and let out a long sigh, closing her eyes dolefully._ Oh, you foolish meddling woman, what have you done? _she castigated herself.

She had only thought that if Bella's scent were left at his house it might make things click for Paul; smell was such a powerful catalyst anyway, and for werewolves even more so. Shaking her head at herself and the situation, she trudged heavily up the stairs.

Emily listlessly wandered back to the kitchen to her chopping and grudgingly picked up the knife. But after a moment of staring at the cutting board, she dropped the blade despondently, leaning her hands on the table as she hung her head. _What a complete and utter disaster._

Just then the kitchen screen door opened.

"Hey, gorgeous," Sam's deep voice wrapped her its strength as his arms immediately enveloped her in a loving embrace. "I missed you." He tilted her head up with a finger and his warm lips placed gentle kisses all over her face, paying extra attention to the deep scars running down her cheek. "I think it's the Alpha lineage, but Jake has such an easy time with the cubs. I hate to say it, but it's nice to h-"

Sam froze as his gaze washed over her expression. "Hey, what's wrong, honey?" he murmured softly.

Emily mutely encircled his neck with her arms and pressed her face into his chest, breathing in his comforting scent.

Sam's big hands rubbed over her back soothingly. "You okay?"

Emily shook her head against him and then pulled back to look into his eyes. "Sam, I made a mistake. A big one."

"Finally!" His face lit in a glorious smile. "It's about damn time."

She laughed in spite of herself as he sat on the bench.

"C'mere," he said as he pulled her between his legs, circling his arms loosely around the small of her back.

Biting her lip for a moment, Emily dove in, "Bella told me she wanted to find some way to apologize to Paul…"

Sam gave her knowing wry grin.

"Yeah, it was adorable actually," Emily agreed. "I almost lost it when she asked if I could think of anything he wanted, though." Emily wiggled her eyebrows suggestively with a smile.

Sam leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. "I love your dirty mind, baby."

Emily blushed and reprimanded him with a slap on his solid arm. "So, anyway, I asked her to take the leftovers to Paul's place –"

Sam's smile faded as he put the pieces together. "Oh, _shit_," he breathed.

"He was there? Why didn't you tell me?" Emily complained, even while her fingers absently combed through his hair. Whenever Sam was around, she had to be touching him.

"Sorry, Em. I didn't know either. And you couldn't have known – he hasn't been around during the daylight hours for the whole week. But as soon as Jake Phased in, Paul dropped out so I'm just guessing. Keep going…"

Emily felt a little better. "Well I figured that if she left her scent there, it might actually knock some sense into him. But… I guess he was home." Emily bowed her head as tears suddenly burned her eyes.

Sam leaned forward and nuzzled her head back up with a kiss to her jaw. "Shh, it's okay hon. So what happened?"

"I don't really know. Bella was upset – really upset - and said she had to leave. She went home, I think. I tried to get her to talk to me, but she wouldn't. Sam, I think she was in shock," Emily whispered, distraught. _How could this have gone so wrong?_

Bringing a hand around to wipe away an errant tear, his fingers lingered to ghost her scars. "Did he hurt her?" he asked, quietly somber.

"I don't think so, honey." Emily turned and placed a redemptive kiss on his palm. He smiled sadly. She knew he had never forgiven himself for his momentary loss of control. But she understood –he'd had no one to help him control the wolf. Any external scarring was worth the internal joy he brought her every day -she wished he understood that.

"Her clothes were all in one piece," Emily sniffed. "And I didn't see any bruising or anything, except on her neck: he'd marked her."

Sam looked up sharply. "What?"

Emily frowned. "You know..." she indicated her currently unblemished neck. "The way you did the first gazillion or so times we made love? You _told_ me it was some wolf thing," she raised a melodramatically suspicious eyebrow.

"It is," he confirmed absently– he didn't even smile at the humor, he was so distracted. "But they got _that far_ and he … _stopped_?"

Emily clasped her hands behind his head and leaned back, studying him. "Yes, I'm pretty sure. Why?"

Sam shook his head. "Hot damn. That's actually pretty damn impressive. I had no idea Paul had it in him," he mused. "I don't think_ I_ could have stopped our first time. That … _drive, that imperative_ … it's so strong. Especially at the bonding."

Emily smiled and stepped over the bench on either side him to straddle his lap. "Luckily, you didn't have to," she murmured rubbing her crotch suggestively on his instantly burgeoning bulge.

With a soft groan, Sam pulled her to him for a fiercely passionate kiss. "Jesus, it's still so strong, Em," he murmured as his hands drifted down to her hips where he held her as he sensuously ground into her with an inadvertent grunt.

"S-Sam…" Emily whimpered as her body ignited like he had doused her in fuel. "You have to – B-Bella…P-Paul…"

Sam growled in aggravation and thrust into her once more for good measure. "I can't wait until Jacob is ready to be the _fucking_ Alpha," he muttered bitterly.

"_Language_," Emily gently chided and leaned in to place a loving kiss on his lips. Sam melted under her lips and released a long shaky breath through his nose. With a coy smile, Emily pulled herself off his lap to stand in front of him again; he would never be able to think straight if she didn't. She had to admit, she loved that she had such an effect on stalwart, unflappable Sam. It was good for both of them -he needed a little vulnerability to keep him balanced.

Sam was obviously still undressing her with his eyes, so Emily cleared her throat. "So should I go over to Bella's house?"

With a blink, Sam begrudgingly focused on the task in hand. He sighed thoughtfully. "What do _you _think, Em?" Sam always asked her opinion; he made it clear to her that she was his partner in everything. That didn't mean he wasn't too stubborn to take her advice: right now was case in point.

Emily pursed her lips. "No, actually. As much as I hate to say it, I think Jacob needs to go talk to her. He's the only one she really trusts. She knows something is going on – she nearly took my head off asking what an imprint was (but she wouldn't let me answer) so Paul must have said something. But she feels like we all betrayed her."

Sam leaned forward and took a deep appreciative breath from between her breasts and then looked up at her with a sigh. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Jake should actually be done pretty soon. He and Embry already have the cubs laughing. I was being more of a distraction to Leah, so I just took myself out of the equation."

Emily stroked her finger down Sam's cheek. "How do you think _that_'s going to go?" she asked quietly.

Sam took a breath. "I think it depends on Leah. The interesting thing is that the Phase seemed to take away the attraction for her too- or that's what it looked like in her mind. So I think it's now about the emotional pain and I think _that_'s going to be just a matter of time." It made sense that imprinting would affect the pack too. With the lupine territorial streak combined with the heightened testosterone, if one of the Pack was attracted to another's mate in the least, they'd have torn each other to shreds in an instant. Every Pack member looked at Emily, not she was a woman, but as a _sister_.

"But I think_ I'm _going to have to take care of Paul," he sighed resignedly.

Emily nodded in agreement. "Can I come? Maybe I c-"

He shook his head resolutely. "Not this time, Em. It's not safe."

She blinked, "But, I've known Paul for years…"

"I know, hon. But he's probably pretty messed up right now. If you knew how hard it is … w-when your imprint…_Jesus_, it's so –" Sam's stuttered uncharacteristically until his voice broke with emotion.

She gave him a sympathetic smile and rubbed his nose with hers. "Shh… I understand."

"Let me get this over with and then we can have a quiet evening at least," Sam sighed. "Here I was worried about ruining your girl's night."

"I did a good enough job of that on my own," Emily rolled her eyes. "Hey, you could watch my chick flick with me to make up for it," she winked.

A slow smile stretched those lips that she loved. "Only if you promise not to tell."

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Sam jogged through the dusk toward Paul's house. As he neared, he stopped to center himself. The large window in the front of the house was shattered – and he knew that inside there was a damaged werewolf who was equally so; he could smell him.

Sam crept up the stairs to the porch. "Paul!" he called, giving the wolf warning. Sam knocked on the door. No answer.

Sam opened the door cautiously to a dark room. It smelled of despair… and alcohol. "Paul?" Sam could hear him breathing, heavy and erratic.

Stepping into the house, he automatically flipped on the light switch on the wall and the incandescent bulb in the ceiling stuttered to life. Paul was sitting on the floor, in the middle of the room and an empty case of beer, head hanging dejectedly. A beer bottle carelessly dangled from one hand.

Around him, was utter chaos: his mattress had been thrown across the room and the bed frame twisted into something that approximated modern art; his couch was torn in two, its stuffing bleeding out like snow; the back window was shattered as well as the front; and his desk – his favorite desk, and the only original piece of furniture that had survived Paul's temper after his Phase to the wolf- was splintered into what amounted to matchsticks which littered the paper strewn floor.

Sam whistled. "Holy shit," he murmured appreciatively.

Paul didn't look up, but lifted his beer bottle up like a toast. "Hail to the Chief," Paul drawled acerbically.

Sam stuffed his hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall by the door. He sighed heavily, this was going to be rough, he could tell. His gaze ran over his Pack mate; massive shoulders caved, head hanging listlessly, breathing uncontrolled, muscles quivering and involuntarily jerking – he was the epitome of torment.

"Waddaya want, Sam," Paul finally grumbled irritably to the floor.

Sam blew a breath out from his cheeks. "Well, I wanted to see how you were doing."

Paul looked up with a contemptuous tight-lipped smile and spread his arms indicating the room around him. "Okay, you've seen. Now leave."

Pursing his lips, Sam nodded as his gaze darted over the maelstrom again. "Yup. You never do anything half-way, do you?"

"Did you get the part about 'now leave,' or was I too polite?" Paul bit out. "I can be more direct if you want," he challenged with a glint to his eye.

Sam closed his eyes wearily for a moment. "Look, Paul. This is getting out of hand, and it's my fault. I know how hard it is to deal with the imprinting, but I should have known better than –"

"Fuck you, Sam, and your sissy psycho-babble," Paul snapped, his eyes burning.

Sam hotly slapped the wall behind him as he reflexively growled. Paul had always had a talent for making any male's testosterone levels sprint from zero to sixty in a second flat; a very dangerous thing when you were talking about the werewolf hormonal punch.

Paul lifted his lip and bared his teeth unrepentantly.

Sam turned his back on him and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a cooling breath. _Where was the fucking Alpha handbook when you needed it? No one trained you for this shit._

Turning back around, Sam released his breath slowly through his teeth. Best to just be blunt. "This isn't working. You can't fight it, Paul," he stated quietly, firmly.

"The hell I can't," he snarled and then growled in seeming contradiction low in his chest. It was an eerie and audible illustration of the inner war he was waging. Paul tipped the beer bottle to his lips and took a long audible gulp as if it could douse the inferno behind his eyes.

"We're going to explain it to her- like Emily has been telling us to do all along," Sam left out the part that 'we' meant Jacob, "and then let Bella take it from there. You need to deal with this though. It's eating you alive and I _need_ you. You're our best front line, Paul." And he was. When Paul focused his rage alongside his razor sharp mind, he was a ferocious and unstoppable predator like no other.

As if he hadn't heard him, Paul continued to stare vacantly at the floor. He took another sip from the bottle. "Do you know what I did today, Sam?" he asked quietly in a disturbing, hollow voice.

Sam shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"I-I almost _raped_ her," he whispered hoarsely.

Sam closed his eyes and pressed his lips together for a moment. He knew all about the conflict and remorse associated with sharing your soul with a beast. "It's a _compulsion_, Paul. For _both_ of you – Bella too," he whispered. "_Especially_ the first time – it's that driving instinct to seal the bond. Believe me,_ I_ _know_."

"It's fucking _bullshit_," he spat.

Sam squatted down, leaning back against the wall. "Look Paul, you're an asshole, and all. But you would never hurt her on purpose. Not as the wolf, and - even imprint aside - not as the man. That's not who you are, no matter how _bad-assed_ you try to be."

Paul barked a derisive laugh and shook his head glumly. "Fuck you, Sam," he wheezed, feebly enough this time that Sam's wolf let it slide.

Sam leaned his head back against the wall with a _thunk_. "If it makes you feel better, I'm fucking amazed you were able to stop. I don't think_ I could have_ at that point, you marked her, right? And I'm sure she was right there with you."

In less time than it took Sam to blink, Paul was standing and pacing away from him. Even after a year, it was uncanny to see the lightning reflexes of the wolf. "**Fuck that**!" Paul threw his beer bottle against the wall and it shattered with a crash. He whipped around and glared at Sam with glittering eyes. "If you slip a girl a little happy-pill in her drink, does it make it okay? It's _bullshit_. It was all this _curse_! It wasn't _me_ she wanted."

Sam licked his lips. "It's not like that, and you know it," he stated with more conviction than he felt. Paul's perceptions always made him think in ways he'd rather not. "Look, this is all because we should have told her. Emily said Bella's been going kinda crazy herself lately."

Paul froze and then stumbled two steps forward like he'd been tugged by an invisible cord. His gaze furtively searching Sam's face. "Is she okay?" he whispered.

Sam's gaze softened. It was actually excruciating to watch this shit from the outside. Proud, inscrutable Paul's inner turmoil was painfully on display for the world to see.

"I think so, Paul," his voice was gentle – Paul didn't even call him a 'pussy' as he normally would, he was so hanging on his every word. "Bella wouldn't talk to Emily this afternoon - she was pretty upset and confused. She just went home."

Collapsing his face in his hand, Paul's breath hitched. After a moment, he stooped and picked up the remaining unopened bottle from the collection strewn empty around him. He flicked the metal cap off with a thumb and it went skittering over the floor.

"She's a virgin, Sam. A fucking _virgin_. And I nearly tore her clothes off and fucking took her _on my desk_. _Oh, God._" He tipped a long gulping swallow down his throat and then laughed derisively, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Oh, that'd be a memorable way to pop the ole cherry. _Then _she wouldn't be afraid of me... oh no siree...she'd _really wanna _trust me then. _Fuck_."

Sam tried to lighten his mood. "Ah, is _that _why it's sawdust now?"

Paul's fist clenched and his arm made to throw his bottle again, but seemed to think better of it. He spun around on his heel and paced toward the back of the room, kicking debris violently out of his way. "She deserves better than me, Sam," he rasped adamantly.

Sam unfolded himself from against the wall and stood, cracking his neck. "Look, the Council officially says the imprint is just about bloodlines and mating. But how can it be just that? Like our mate's reduced to just her _ovaries _or something," Sam hissed in fierce defense of Emily. "But this illustrates my point perfectly: Bella's not even tribe! I think the imprint is more importantly about balancing us out. _Especially_ with the wolf, it's dangerous if we aren't. I mean, I couldn't have picked a better partner in my dreams than Emily. She fills in all my holes _and_ puts up with my shit."

Paul turned on Sam with a murderous light in his eyes. "You're just lucky you're good enough for her, or I'd have found a way to kill you by now," he snarled.

"If you'd been Phased back then, I think you would have," Sam's lips quirked in a wry grin, remembering how a human Paul had broken both fists on his face after _the accident_. Emily was one of the few women Paul had never slept with in his chronic string of one-night stands, but that wasn't what made her so special. She was his – perhaps only - friend. And make no mistake, he took fierce care of his own. Sam was grateful he had Emily's back.

His voice softened imperceptibly. "But my point is: Bella must be that for you too – and you for her."

At the mention of her name, Paul froze and his shoulders deflated. He hung his head. "I-I can't Sam," he gasped to the floor.

Sam rubbed a hand down his face in frustration. "Dammit, Paul. This isn't going to work! You're so _goddamn stubborn_!"

Paul looked up with a wolfish grin as if he'd been given the highest of compliments.

Sam rolled his eyes.

In that creepy mercurial way of his, Paul suddenly turned serious. "Look, I'm gonns take a break. Go up to Port Angeles for a few days. Get away from this mess," Paul growled. "The fucking wolf makes a bee-line for her every time." He tipped the bottle up to his lips again. " It's better in some ways, but I think it's fucking me up more. I need to just be a _man _for a while and figure this shit out."

Sam sighed. "What are you going to do then?" he asked resignedly.

Paul drained his beer and then smacked his lips. "I'm gonna get _drunk_." He violently hurled his bottle against the wall with a crash. "And I'm gonna get _laid_." He turned and pinned Sam with a challenging glare. "_A lot_."

Sam let his head fall back as he groaned. _What a fucking nightmare_.


	9. Chapter 9 Fighting It

'

* * *

><p>Chapter 9 Fighting It<p>

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella sat in the lazy boy in the living room. Like she had for the last eight hours – staring at nothing and drawing an absent oval on the armrest with her right middle finger.

Charlie had gotten in a little after two in the morning with the sad news that Harry Clearwater had passed away. He had sat on the couch silently with her for nearly an hour, leaning his elbows on his knees, before he had finally mumbled something unintelligible and retired to his room. Presumably to sleep.

The tragedy of the situation aside, Bella was glad he was too distracted to ask why she was sitting in the living room in the dark, why she wasn't going to bed, or why she had a big fat purple hickey on her neck. There still was _some_ justice in the world.

She knew Jacob would come eventually, and when he did, she didn't want to be in her bedroom.

For some reason.

So she wasn't surprised when she heard Jacob's whisper-soft steps down the stairs. He leaped over the couch with that cat-like lupine power and landed in a crouch before her, looking worriedly into her face.

Bella turned her head to stare pointedly off to the side.

"Honey, are you okay?" his large warm hand over hers stopped the finger which was still doing restless laps on the armrest.

Bella pulled her hand out from under his and twisted it with the other in the hem of her shirt.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jacob's gaze cataloguing her expression. It stopped abruptly on the bruise – even in the dim light of dawn it was probably like a neon sign against her pale skin – and he squeezed his eyes shut. A growl rumbled in his throat. "Did he hurt you, Bells?" he asked low and dangerous.

With a detached slowness Bella's gaze met his. She studied him a moment. "What's imprinting Jacob," she asked numbly.

Pressing his lips together, Jacob fell back heavily to sit on the floor in front of her. "It's like," he clicked his tongue thoughtfully, "this werewolf mating bond thing."

Bella continued to contemplate him with impassive eyes.

Jacob blinked uncomfortably and licked his lips. "Um, you know Sam and Emily? Emily is Sam's imprint."

When she still didn't even acknowledge that he had spoken, he continued, slowly and emphatically as if expecting her to freak out on the next each word. "After we Phase… _some_ wolves imprint. When the guy sees his imprint for the first time … it's like – _presto_ – pure obsession-ville. 'She's his whole world, his soul mate, she completes him, he can't live without her' or something stupid like that." Bella didn't miss the derisive twist he gave those words, as if he were skeptically repeating something someone else had told him. Bella guessed he was.

"And… um… Paul. Uh.. Paul, imprinted on you."

He stopped then and his gaze darted between her eyes worriedly. He held up his hand and waved it in front of Bella's face. "Uh, Bells?"

Bella cleared her throat. "M-mating bond?" she choked finally.

Jacob looked fearful for her sanity. "Uh, yeah. The Council says it's to make strong babies or some bullshit like that. _Sam_ says it's to balance the wolf out. I don't know, it's wacky either way."

"Babies?" Bella squeaked.

Jacob smothered a smile in spite of himself and went up on his knees, placing his big hands on her upper arms. "Look Bells, it's _fucked up_. Just forget it, it doesn't have to mean anything. And Paul-… Paul doesn't even _want_ it."

Bella swallowed. "Paul doesn't want me," she whispered hollowly. _Why did that hurt so badly_?

"No, it's not like that, honey," Jacob pulled her stiff body into a hug. "He's just fucked up. I told you."

Bella pulled back, shaking her head with distress. "B-but what's wrong _with me_?" She covered her face in her hands. Feeling like a rubber band that he been stretched too far and had finally snapped, she burst into tears. "_Oh my God_, Jake! I _threw_ myself at him. Like some kind of- like some kind of _hussy_. I'm _so sorry_! I can't _believe_ it! I don't know what's _wrong with me!_ He must think I'm some sort of - _Oh, my God_! You must think I'm some - _You_ must hate me now _too_! This is – I'm so-"

Her overwrought ramblings dissolved into full body sobs. All of the emotion she had tamped down over the last hours rose up like a tsunami with a strangling despair. She wept piteously.

Jacob pulled her off the chair and into his lap as he wrapped his arms around her. "Shhh, honey. It's okay. Shhh. I could never hate you, Bells. I'm not mad, honest. Shh," he soothed frantically.

As her sobs quieted, she pushed her hands against Jacob's broad chest and disengaged herself from him, climbing back into her chair and wrapping her arms around herself forlornly. She didn't want to be touched right now.

Jacob must have finally gotten the hint, because he pulled his knees up to his chest and draped his long arms around them.

Bella wiped her nose jerkily with her shirt sleeve on the back of her wrist and then wrapped her arms around herself again with a little whimper.

"Bella?" Jacob said softly.

She pressed her lips together and reluctantly looked at him.

"It affects the girl too," he said quietly.

Bella blinked several times. "How?"

"She feels the same stuff the guy does, just a little less. That's what Emily says." Jacob paused and swallowed nervously. "Um, ah.. until she accepts him, that is."

Bella sniffed the snot into her nose gracelessly. "What?"

Jacob took a deep breath, eyeing her nervously. "When she – _if_ she accepts him and they… um," he tipped his head suggestively with an uncomfortable grimace. "You know…"

Bella scowled. "No, I _don't_ know. I think you need to tell me everything, like, _really clearly_, Jake."

"Okay. Well, when-_ if_ they have _sex_,"

Bella flinched.

Jacob smirked.

"…then they're, like, tied to each other for life. And then they have that crazy-obsessive Emily/Sam thing."

Bella's eyes went wide. _That's what Paul had meant._

"You know how lovey-dovey Sam and Emily are. I mean, they don't even _think_ about anyone else for a minute – it's like freaky. I mean, I've seen Sam's mind, and –" Jacob left that sentence unfinished but rolled his eyes . "And they can't keep their hands off each other. It's kinda sick, actually. I mean, they even know what the other is feeling and shit. She knows if he's hurt. It's creepy. And it doesn't go away, or anything; it stays like that _forever_ ," Jacob squeamishly wrinkled his nose.

Bella's eyes darted between his for an entire minute as she processed, and then she burst out of her chair. "You - you _knew_ about this the _whole time,_ Jake? God! Why didn't you tell me?" She stalked across the room and then turned on him accusatorily. "How long has this – _imprint thing_- been going on?"

"Um, since that night we took out the dreadlocked leech," Jacob mumbled having the good graces to at least sound apologetic.

"Oh my God! That's more than _two weeks_!" Bella's eyes glanced up at the ceiling as she replayed everything that had happened over that time - the dinner at Emily's, her discussions with the pack, _Paul's house_. "I made a _fool_ out of myself Jake! WHY didn't you _tell me_!" she shrieked.

"Paul thought it'd be better if you didn't know, since he's fighting it," Jacob came back defensively as he stood. "And I did too."

Bella stopped and knit her brow. "He's fighting it," she repeated.

Jacob crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I told you he didn't want the imprint. Sam said it's impossible to fight – it's really hard and painful for the wolf apparently – but he's still trying."

Bella's gaze raked the ground. "Wow_, no wonder_ he hates me so much," she mused vacantly, and then blinked against the burn of tears.

Jacob's face softened and he uncrossed his arms, taking two steps toward her. "Honey, he doesn't _hate_ you. He's just really fucked up."

"Stop saying that!" Bella snapped. And then pressed her lips together in chagrin.

Jacob raised his eyebrows in surprise, but continued to walk hesitantly toward where Bella stood by the bookcase wringing her hands and desperately blinking back tears. "This imprint thing is stupid anyway, and it's crazy that it happened to _him_. I mean, Paul hates everyone. And I think he's slept with every girl who'd take him on the Rez _and__ in Forks."_

Bella looked up sharply. _But he didn't want her._

Jacob now stood right in front of her and he slowly opened his arms invitingly. Bella hesitated and then stepped into his embrace. He pulled her to his chest and rested his cheek on her head. "Honey that's why I didn't say anything. You know where he is right now? Up in Port Ange, _partying_. You don't want to be around that guy – he's bad news," Bella heard his voice rumble under her ear.

She blinked the tears down her cheek now that Jake couldn't see them. "Is that why you've been over here, like, 24/7?" she asked, wiping her face on his tee shirt.

"Yeah," he said softly.

_Jacob wanted her_, Bella thought gratefully.

"You deserve better than that guy," Jacob murmured into her hair. "Even _he_ thinks so."

Bella remembered Paul's dark laugh about being bound to him, 'you really, _really_ don't want that believe me.' Bella swallowed the lump in her throat.

She couldn't help but think there was more to him than that. The man who could create such amazing and _sensitive_ art, who had drawn _her_ – who had really _seen_ her enough to draw her like he did - who had been the first person to actually just listen to her about Edward and not tell her how stupid she was being, who had tenderly wrapped his arms around her and just held her sadness without trying to convince it away...

_Damaged._ Like her. Tears welled in her eyes; he'd been beaten into something twisted and sad and angry. It wasn't fair.

But it didn't really matter what she thought of him. _He didn't want her._

She guessed she shouldn't be surprised. She was broken.

A thought suddenly occurred to her and she pulled back from Jacob, searching his face. "Did you imprint too?"

Jacob smiled, "Nah, Bells. I just love you. It's super-rare and there's no way I'm not going to imprint, anyway. I'm _supposed_ to be the Alpha."

Bella's brow dipped, "what?"

Jacob pulled her back to his chest with a sniff. "It's a bloodline thing. I'm supposed to take over for Sam after I get the whole wolf-thing down. Alphas never imprint."

Bella rubbed her hands absently over the rippling muscles in his back. "But Sam's an Alpha and he imprinted."

"He's just the stand-in Bells. It doesn't count." She could hear the bitterness in his voice.

"You don't want to be Alpha," Bella stated softly. She knew her best friend; he didn't like to be forced into taking responsibility for anything.

"Naw… not really my style, y'know," he let out a long sigh. "But that's the way it goes." Jacob pulled back and looked into her eyes, wiping away a new tear with a thumb. "'You okay, Bells?"

She thought about Paul, suffering and alone and angry.

She thought about Paul, wrapping his strong arms around her as he pulled her to his chest mere hours ago with shocking tenderness.

She thought about Paul, pressing his lips to hers and the incendiary yearning that mouth had awakened.

She thought about Paul, _partying_ at Port Angeles.

_No she wasn't. She __really__ wasn't. _

"Yeah, Jake, I'm good," she tried to smile.

Jacob gave her a sunny grin, and kissed her nose. "Good. Let's get some sleep now, kay?"

Bella nodded listlessly. _She really, __really__ wasn't okay._

Jacob swung her up into the wrong set of arms and bounded up the stairs…


	10. Chapter 10 Seduction

**'**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 – Seduction<strong>

* * *

><p><em>'<em>

_A fifty-percent success rate wasn't bad_, Paul tried to convince himself. After all, getting drunk was no small task for a werewolf – it required enough liquor to put a human in a coma.

Tipping the vodka to his lips, Paul blandly surveyed the simple, worn hotel room of the Port Angeles Day's Inn. With its two double beds and TV it was tidy, and a welcomed change from the chaos he'd left behind him at the Rez last evening. Setting the bottle on the nightstand he sat on the edge of the mattress and then fell heavily back onto his back, looking up at the ceiling.

He had driven as fast as the damn meandering cars and logging trucks in front of him had allowed on the winding roads, desperate to become lost in the anonymity of a larger town. He didn't want to be feeling ... exposed, confused, afraid.

He needed to forget her.

And he had tried. Fuck, he had tried.

Since last night he had continuously hopped from bar to bar and club to club.

Sitting in dark, musty rooms at the end of various working men's taverns, trying to tune out the strident multiple sports channels inevitably playing on flat screen TVs.

Or crouched at neon trimmed stainless steel tables, trying to think through the pounding house music that hypnotized dancers high on ecstasy to basically fuck each other on the dance floor.

He just couldn't get into it.

Several hot young things had flirted with him, resting their bodacious augmented boobs on the table as if hawking their wares. They pulled him into booths packed with giggling, flirty friends and tried to get him to dance, even willing to forgive and forget his peevishly sullen attitude. They just wanted to get laid; he could see it in the way they walked.

But he just didn't have it in him: he couldn't stomach the breathy laughs, the suggestive painted lips drawing syrupy cocktails up straws, the forward hands placed casually in his lap to "accidentally" run over his dick which was certainly more than willing. He invariably had to excuse himself, ignore the pinch on his ass, and return to hunch over his drink.

A knock at the door surprised him - Paul had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't had heard her coming down the hall.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he let his head hang for a moment. Perhaps _this_ is what he needed. _Professional_ help.

It was probably why he had so little control; he hadn't had a woman since he'd first laid eyes Bella. He remembered that night so clearly; the terror in her eyes, the acceptance in her posture, the courage in the lift of her chin. She was smart; she had kept the leech talking.

Until he could get to her.

Paul still remembered the way that vamp felt crushed between his jaws – his body the consistency of a hard cheese –it had been exquisite. He had torn and ripped and shredded that parasite single-handedly, while the rest of the Pack paced around him restlessly.

It was dangerous to get between Paul and a kill.

Especially that time. _Especially_ after it had put its stone-cold corpse hands on Bella. _Especially_ then.

_Bella_. Her warm body pressed under his... the piercing openness of her gaze...the feel of her honey-sweet lips...her soft sighs and breathy moans.

The knock was repeated on the door a little louder.

Paul stood abruptly, rubbing his hand over his face to erase the images from his head. Opening the door, he half expected to see Bella, twisting her hands in the hem of her shirt like a little kid, an uncomfortable shoulder hitched up to her ear.

But in her stead was perhaps the antithesis. The woman - the 'escort' he'd called for - was leaning indolently on the door frame and dressed to the nines in a short black tank, mini-skirt, 6 inch heels and a small beaded bag. Wordlessly Paul stood back to let her in.

"Hi, Paul?" she breathed, leaving red lips enticingly parted as she slinked past him, her long silky hair swaying at her hips. "I'm Chloe."

Paul took a soft breath, inhaling the heady, expensive perfume and closed the door quietly. He had splurged tonight. He didn't have much money, but he had enough to invest in a personal therapy session like this one. He _needed_ this.

Taking a moment to collect himself, he turned to find the woman draped seductively over a bed. She smiled at him and patted a spot beside her.

Paul crossed the room, trying to let all of his complications slip into the slow burn of the alcohol, and sat on the other bed - not where she had indicated. His eyes ran over her features. She was mid-twenties and _strikingly gorgeous_ with smooth, tanned skin and perfectly balanced features that were highlighted by expertly applied make up.

She regarded him with the calm detachment of experience. "Is this your first time?" Her voice was breathy and alluring.

Paul had to chuckle. "Hardly."

"Well then relax!" She pushed off the bed and slinked over to kneel on the bed beside him. "You're so tense." Her voice whispered in his ear as her hands came up to squeeze his shoulders.

Paul closed his eyes trying to relax into her touch. While precise and practiced her hands felt calculated and sterile. Is this the kind of intimacy that had comforted him for all these years?

She laughed softly and moved to the other side of his head resting her chin on his shoulder. "So what do you like ? " She continued her massage down his back.

"Look, I just want to forget some stuff," Paul whispered as he turned more to her, trying to relax into her ministrations.

She cooed, her lips a perfect O. "Well that happens to be my specialty. Making you forget..." Her voice dropped to a seductive timber and a glossy polished nail came up to trace the shell of his ear.

"W-wait," Paul jerked his head away at the tickle. "Just give me a minute, will you?" he mumbled as he rubbed his face with his hand.

"Sure thing, sugar," Chloe murmured in his ear and slinked across the room to sit on the chest of drawers opposite him. She coquettishly made sure he saw her pantiless crotch under that tiny swatch of cloth that posed as a skirt before she crossed her shapely legs.

Paul licked his lips as he took a deep breath.

An invasive thought popped into his head_, I wonder if Bella's with Jacob right now_.

Paul growled automatically.

"Ooo, sexy," the girl said.

"I wanna get drunk," Bella said suddenly.

Jacob turned from the movie, that Bella had been restlessly _trying_ to watch - without success -for the last half an hour, and frowned.

The day had been about listening to her Dad's slow halting anguish as he talked aimlessly about funeral plans, how wrong it was that Sue's kids weren't with her, and recounting over and over events at the hospital.

Bella's heart felt like it had been put in a citrus juicer; it was the first time that she had ever seen Charlie this upset. So emotional, in fact that he hadn't noticed her wearing her hair down and keeping it pulled over her shoulder, or how she had carefully only showed him her right side as she went about cooking him lunch, and the casserole and dessert bread for Sue. He just sat at the little kitchen table and nursed a beer.

Billy and Charlie were going to spend the night over at the Clearwaters. Since Leah and Seth weren't there. Bella had stayed home, and Jacob had come over after working with the cubs to keep her company. It was supposed to be one of their infamous nights of junk food and trashy B movies on Netflix.

Bella wasn't feeling it.

"Yeah, I wanna get drunk, Jake," she said again with resolve in the face of his surprise.

"Really? Okay, Bells," he shrugged. "That'd actually be kinda fun."

She had gagged on the beer her father kept in the fridge while Jake laughed harder than he had at the killer clowns from outer space.

Finally, Jake had taken pity on her and gone out to the store and gotten a bottle of vodka and some diet coke. Apparently when you were 6 feet something, built like a Greek god, and hyperventilatingly gorgeous, you didn't get carded by female cashiers.

But that had been two hours and three glasses ago.

Bella was feeling it now.

Like she had been wrapped in an angora blanket, the world was suddenly a soft and blurry place. Very nice indeed.

At Bella's glassy-eyed frown of confusion, Jake had turned off 'Poltergeist' half-way through (they were getting classy in their old age) and started a fire in the fire place. Every time they lit one, she always wondered why they didn't do so more, instead of staring past the hearth at the 32" flat screen.

Bella and Jake had moved the coffee table out of the way, brought out an armful of blankets and pillows and were now lounged out on the floor, being hypnotized by the dancing flames.

Bella took another long drink of the laced soda, the ice clinking against the glass. _Ahh, this is exactly what she needed._

"Easy, there Bells," Jacob turned his head from where it was propped against the seat of the couch. He smiled, "I think you've probably got more than a good buzz goin' on already."

"Yeahhh… I do," she said with a loose nod and sappy smile.

Jacob chuckled and returned his gaze to the fire.

Bella's gaze stayed on Jacob.

The light danced over his features with warmth. He was more than just _sorta_ beautiful. He was more than _sorta_ anything. His mouth was generous and even at rest hinted at a sunny smile, his profile was strong, his shoulders were massive and toned – and there was something very sexy about the way his adam's apple jutted out when he was leaned back against the couch like this.

Just then he turned his head to look at her. His eyes were black in the firelight. Something in her expression made him smile.

"What's up, Bells?"

"M-maybe I should j-just try," Bella's mouth said without her permission. "Maybe that would make everything better."

"Huh?" His brow dipped.

"Well, I was thinking about seducing you," her traitor mouth said again. Had Bella ever – in her whole life – even _said_ the word "seduce?" Even in _passing_?

Jacob's brow shot up at the same time his eyes blinked in shock. "Jesus, Bells. You really are drunk," he laughed. But Bella didn't miss the little hitch of pleasure at the corner of his mouth. He wouldn't turn her down if she did.

Biting her lip, Bella leaned slowly toward Jacob's mouth. Jacob had stopped breathing he was holding so still.

This is ridiculous. What was wrong with him? Across the room was a drop-dead gorgeous woman who was paid to give pleasure. No blurry lines, no misunderstandings, no emotions at all. Paul could do this. "Okay, c'mere and show me what you got," he said around a wry smile.

Bella pressed her lips to the side of his mouth and heard Jacob take a sharp breath in. Slowly, bravely, she crawled into his lap so she was straddling him. She could feel that he was already soundly aroused.

Pushing the girl's long hair over her shoulder as she ground against him where he sat on the bed, Paul's mouth played greedily over her lips. She shuddered and he chuckled low.

Taking a deep breath Bella parted her lips as Jacob's tongue snaked hot and moist into her mouth.

Paul's arms wrapped around the girl and pulled her close, deepening the kiss as he ran his hands over her ample bosom.

Arching into Jacob's teasing caresses over her breast, Bella's nipples struggled against her shirt while he moaned his pleasure.

Paul turned over with the girl wrapped around his body and pressed her down into the mattress as he continued to ravish her mouth.

Bella held onto Jake's broad shoulders as he crawled across the floor to give them enough room, cradling her in one arm. His weight pressed over her.

And Chloe moaned, arching up against his body. "Bella," her name automatically stretched along Paul's gasp. "As in 'beautiful' in Italian," he quickly amended in a mumble as he nuzzled into the girl's neck.

Jacob's hips started moving sensuously against her on their own accord. He trailed hot kisses down Bella's neck, over her collarbone as his hands massaged her breasts.

Paul pushed his hand up under the girl's shirt, pulling down her bra at the same time and ducking down to take her nipple in his mouth.

Jacob's hot lips on her breast made Bella's eyes roll back in her head. "Oh, Paul…" her voice quivered in rapture.

"Oh, Paul," Chloe gushed melodramatically.

_**Miles and more apart, at the exact same moment in time, Paul and Jacob both froze.**_

Lifting his face with a furrowed brow, Jacob's gaze ran over Bella's wide-eyed and mortified expression. Closing his eyes he sighed in resignation.

Paul tore his mouth from the squirming girl, and his gaze washed over her face. That was not the voice he wanted moaning his name. This was not the woman he wanted pressed under him. _Shit_.

Chloe's eyes popped open and she regarded him with a perplexed expression. "Don't stop," she breathed seductively.

Paul pushed up to a seated position and rubbed a hand over his face. The girl rearranged her shirt and sat up beside him, running a long fingernail up the side of his neck. "What's wrong Paulie?" she cooed.

Letting his hand fall to his jeaned thigh with a slap, he shook his head. "I can't do this," he whispered.

The girl slipped from the bed and knelt before him. "Oh, are you having … anxiety?" she said with a knowing raise to her brow.

Paul rolled his eyes. "No," he snorted, annoyed. He'd never had that little problem, and as a werewolf, that went double. "I just … this isn't what I want."

"Oh! Well why don't we get you a little more comfortable and _I_ can take over," she winked the kind of wink that has to be practiced in the mirror as she reached for his fly. The girl had obviously traded the few remaining brain cells she was born with for those looks.

He pushed her hand away with irritation. "No.. I mean, I think we can call this a night." He stood and crossed to the night stand where the money was folded under the hotel alarm clock.

Chloe stood, teetering on her heels for a moment. "Did I do something wrong, sugar?"she asked perturbed.

Paul shook his head and turned around, holding out the full amount for the hour. "No, it's me. I'm fucked up. Sorry to waste your time," he mumbled.

Pursing her crimson lips that were now slightly smeared she snatched the money and thumbed through the bills efficiently. "Are you sure, sexy? Just a quickie? I was actually looking forward to doing _you_," she looked up from under her fake eyelashes with a coy smile.

Paul squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. He just wanted her to leave. He turned on his heel and strode to the door, opening it in a big fat fucking hint to that effect.

With a little pout, Chloe picked up her little beaded bag and sashayed past him. Paul closed the door softly after her.

Crossing the room, he sighed and collapsed back on the bed. His body was more than ready to go, it was his heart that couldn't stomach it. No other girl had the same smell, or that pure authentic presence, or those guileless and trusting eyes that told him exactly what she was feeling, or that tiny, cute –and endearingly clumsy - body that had no idea how sexy it was.

Paul unzipped his pants…

and thought about Bella.

Bella covered her face with a hand in utter shame and humiliation. "Jesus Jake, I'm so sorry," she mumbled into her palm. She just couldn't do this. This just wasn't the man she wanted to touch her like this. And it wasn't fair to Jake.

Her best friend.

Jacob sat up and rubbed his face with his hands. "This is not going to work, is it, Bells?" he asked quietly.

Bella pulled down her shirt and sat up, collapsing her forehead against his shoulder. "I'm so, _so_ sorry Jake," she whispered in a small voice. "You didn't deserve that."

Jacob reached his other hand up to cup her cheek. "It's okay, honey. I actually kind of did."

Bella was surprised to find his shirt wet from her tears as she lifted her head. "I tried. I _really tried_. _So hard_, Jake," she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Jacob turned to her and took her cheeks in his palms. "I know, honey. You did. I know you did." He smiled sadly, pushing her hair back from where it was caught in the tracks of her tears. "And I tried _too hard_. I'm sorry."

The one positive thing about this disaster was that Bella had her answer now – she _was_ broken …permanently. First she fell for someone who said he'd always love her and left her, and now she was hopelessly in love with someone she barely knew and hated her guts.

But in some ways it was a relief to finally know how she'd spend the rest of her life.

Alone.


	11. Chapter 11 Not if but when

'

* * *

><p>Chapter 11 – Not If But When<p>

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella's eyes popped open to an undulating orange fire before her. She didn't move. For a long moment she just followed her panting breaths as she struggled to orient herself.

Ah, now she remembered why she was lying on the floor in her living room: The Disaster.

Jake and she had spent half an hour discussing how they had each been screwing up their friendship by being dishonest with themselves and each other, and then after "best-friend hugs" – Bella still felt uncomfortable wrapped in the obvious physical desire of his embrace –she had asked for some alone time.

As soon as the front door closed behind him though, Bella had burst into tears. She had curled up on the blankets in front of the dwindling fire – so much like her sense of hope - and sobbed herself into a snotty mess and restless dreams.

Bella blinked in confusion at the licking flames and slowly lifted her head. How could that be? It should have been mere glowing embers now. Had Jake come back?

"You weren't _supposed_ to wake up," a deep voice drawled from behind her.

Bella whipped around, sitting up at the same time. She ended up gracelessly falling over on her back twisted in blankets.

Her eyes frantically snapped to the originator of that voice: Paul, shirtless and perched on the back of the couch, his elbows indolently resting on his knees. His expression was a complex mixture of overstated concern and private amusement, but his voice was smooth and nonchalant, "easy there, little girl."

"Stop calling me that," Bella complained under her breath as she untangled herself and sat up on her knees.

Paul's mouth hitched up on one side. "'Small woman' just doesn't have the same ring. I think you're stuck with it, babe."

Licking her lips, Bella tried to get her bearings. Her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton – she was still drunk, she realized – and the surrealism of the situation didn't help. She straightened her shirt and brought an uncomfortable shoulder to her ear. "What are you doing here?" she snapped, sounding more annoyed than she'd intended. She wasn't annoyed... she was confused. And …_relieved_?

Paul seemed unperturbed. "Being drunk." He gave her a devilish grin. "And getting drunker. You don't mind do you?" He held up her left-over bottle of vodka with a questioning raise to his brow.

Bella shook her head distractedly as her gaze ran over his perfect form. The firelight licked the flawless sculpture of his body and made his face look dark, chiseled and sexy. Blinking at the instant wash of arousal, her gaze fell to her lap.

"And what are _you_ doing _here_?" Paul asked.

Bella looked up and saw him indicate the little nest before the fire with a circle of his bottle.

"Uh… Jake and I-" she began but was mercifully stopped by sound of his deep growl.

When she didn't continue, Paul completed her sentence. "Ah, I get it. A nice romantic evening with your _boyfriend_," he hissed snidely. "Did anyone ever tell you wine is better for seduction than vodka?"

Something in Bella uncharacteristically snapped.

"_Ohhh_. _That_ was the problem tonight. Silly me," she bit out with scathing sarcasm. "It was the _vodka's_ fault. Here I'd just thought it was because I called him by _your_ _freaking name_!" When her ears caught up with her mutinous mouth, she collapsed her face in her hands.

_Oh __hell__._

Bella looked up with her hands still plastered over her face. With one eye, she peaked through her fingers. Paul was watching her with that damned gloating smirk of his. He took a long sip from the vodka and then smacked his lips.

Bella let her hands fall to her lap in resignation. She _had_, indeed, said that out loud.

"You did? Really?" he asked, his white teeth gleaming in the firelight.

She closed her eyes in chagrin and let her head fall back.

"That's _awesome_," he mused appreciatively and she heard the slosh of the liquid again.

Not to be the only one humiliated, Bella picked up her head with a accusatory glare. "So why are _you_ here? I thought you were up in Port Ange getting drunk and laid by millions of girls," she taunted with disdain.

"You got it half right, babe." With a cheeky grin, he held up the bottle like a salute.

Bella groaned and rubbed her face with her hand. Actually she could do with another drink too right about now. Bella never drank – but tonight was certainly an exception if ever there was one.

She pushed herself arduously up to stand, swaying on her feet with a little moan and glanced up to see Paul's gaze suddenly sharp and tensely trained on her. Confused, she gave him a weak smile. "I don't usually drink," she apologized uselessly.

She turned and shuffled toward the kitchen, "but I think I could use another right now. Do you want some soda to go with that… stuff?"

When he didn't answer, she glanced over her shoulder to find that same serious intensity pulling at his brow. He subtly shook his head.

Nodding slackly to herself, Bella sniffled through her stuffy nose as she pulled out a glass from the dish drain and filled it half full with diet coke from the refrigerator door. Taking a sip of the untainted soda, she gathered herself and then turned and crossed back into the living room, feeling suddenly insecure.

Paul lithely swung his feet over the back of the couch and lowered himself to the floor. Bella suddenly realized how close she was going to have to get to that gorgeous and shirtless body and the thought stopped her cold in her tracks.

Paul was watching her carefully. At her sudden hesitation, his lips twisted in a knowing and very maddening smirk. He held up the bottle tauntingly.

Bella squinted at him in irritation. She strode unhesitatingly toward him, stopping a foot away and holding out her glass. She resolutely did _not_ look at his smooth and defined chest.

Head tucked, he looked up at her intently from under those long straight eyelashes even while he unerringly poured the vodka into her glass. Bella was unnerved.

So unnerved, in fact, that she lost track of his pour. "Oh! Wait, that's enough!"

Paul's serious stare stretched out into a shrewd smile. Bella had the distinct feeling that he knew _exactly_ how much liquor he had poured into her glass.

"Now with _enough_ alcohol, it doesn't matter whether it's wine or not," Paul murmured smoothly. "As far as seduction goes, that is."

Bella swallowed and took a step back, wrapping both hands around her glass as her gaze ran over the man before her uncertainly.

He silently returned her stare with glittering eyes.

With a little frown at herself – she wished she didn't feel so awkward around him – she tipped her glass up to her lips and took a long gulp. She grimaced and shuddered at the taste as she lowered the drink. It was strong. But almost instantly the alcohol seemed to seep into her bloodstream with a relaxing warmth. A soft sigh escaped her lips.

"Better?" he asked silkily. He then tipped the bottle to his own lips and gulped down a ridiculous amount of straight vodka.

Bella wrinkled her nose in empathy. "I didn't even know werewolves could get drunk."

"Do you know how much it takes?" Paul asked as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Bella shook her head.

"A lot," he said with a grimace. As if to illustrate that point, as almost an after thought, he poured the remaining liquor down his throat and set the bottle on the ground. "So, I didn't have time for anything else," he said cryptically.

It _sounded _like he was covertly assuring her that he hadn't slept with anyone else. Why did he think she would care? How did he know that _she did_?

Crossing his ankles before him, he leaned his hips against the back of the couch and let his gaze overtly run up and down her body. As if he owned her.

It should have been degrading, but it… wasn't. Bella took a nervous sip of her drink.

He cocked his head in that very wolf-like way of his. "You've turned me inside out," he said suddenly. His voice was quiet, almost thoughtful. "I don't even know which way is up anymore."

Bella's gaze darted between his eyes in surprise at such an admission. "I-I'm sorry. I-I really am. I know a little more about that imprint thing now. Jake told me, and I'm so sorry. I mean, _no wonder_ you hate me so much."

Paul's face suddenly went livid and he pushed himself off the couch with a mercurial and vibrating tension. "Who told you that," he choked as he prowled toward her. "Who said I hate you." His words broke up into a gravelly snarl.

Bella's eyes went as round as saucers, as she let her arm holding the glass fall limply to her side. She slowly backed away from him.

"Who! Jacob?" he hissed, low and dangerous, as he continued to stalk her.

Bella's mouth had gone dry. "Uh-uh…. W-well h-he said that you didn't want it. T-the imprint thing. Or me. He said you w-were fighting it," she stuttered as she continued to retreat from that frightening rage.

Her back hit the front door and she splayed her free hand behind her. "And I-I understand, really I do," Bella was talking fast now as he closed in on her. "I could see it in your face that time at Emily's. I-I can always see it in your face. I mean I understand why you don't want me. I –I"

Paul's hands smacked against the door on either side of her head, as he caged her between his long arms. He stared down at her fiercely as his breath rasped through his nose.

Bella's lip quivered.

With a frown, Paul's hand slipped down from the door to cup her jaw as his thumb rubbed across her lower lip, stilling it. In contrast to those burning eyes, his large warm palm was gentle, almost tender.

Bella felt her shoulders instantly relax. At his touch that deep sense of _knowing _settled over her like a sigh. _He'd never hurt her._

Long fingers wrapped around to the nape of her neck and Paul's eyes washed over every inch of her face as Bella tried not to squirm under the weight of his stare. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough and deep like he'd been smoking several packs a day for years. "_I don't hate you."_

Bella blinked.

"_How_ could I hate you, Bella?" he asked this time as if such a thought were the most ridiculous thing in the world. His gaze continued to dart restlessly over her face until finally getting snagged by her own searching eyes. His pupils were huge, black and yawning; they pulled her all the way down to his soul.

"God, I don't hate you, Bella-it's the opposite; I hate _myself_," he whispered hoarsely. He looked into her eyes for several more moments as if punctuating the validity of both of those statements and then abruptly whipped around, snatching her drink from her numb fingers in one smooth move. Paul stalked back to lean against the back of the couch and hung his head.

Bella was stunned. She blinked as her mind filled in the blanks: it wasn't that he didn't _want_ her…

_Damaged_. Like her. Ah, _now_ she was getting it.

Swallowing loudly, Bella pushed off the door and haltingly walked toward where he was judiciously studying her drink in his hands. The cavalier set of his shoulders had melted into a dejected hunch.

Bella stepped hesitantly in front of him. Her hand reached out to take the glass. Without looking up, he wordlessly released it. She took a sip and then returned it to his open hand. Their fingers brushed and it felt like fire.

Paul finally looked up with tired eyes as if he had dropped some kind of pretense. "I'm sorry, babe. But I just can't give you what you want."

Bella licked her lips. "What is it that you think I want?"

He smiled sadly. "Nothing." His fingers were trembling as they reached out to push her sleep-wild hair away from her face. Tenderly. "And I don't even have that to give," he whispered.

Bella's gaze swept the ceiling for a moment as she considered his words. What _did _she want?

She took a step closer and pressed her lips together thoughtfully as she chose her next words. "Actually, I think I just want to be wanted."

Paul's eyes were locked with hers."I can do that," he breathed.

Bella smiled and couldn't restrain a tentative hand from reaching out to ghost the straight line of his collar bone as she took another step between his legs. "And to spend a little more time around you," she amended.

Paul leaned over and placed the drink on the couch. He turned back around and wrapped his arms loosely around her, making Bella take another step forward. "I can do that," he murmured as his bottomless eyes held her hostage in their depths.

Bella reached up shaking fingers to touch the hollow of his cheek. "And maybe touch you a little?" she added shyly.

With at soft groan, Paul's long arms pulled her to his heated body. He leaned in to her ear and whispered, "I can definitely do that." He inhaled a deep, tickling breath in her hair and Bella shuddered.

"Mmm," he hummed as Paul nuzzled into the crook of her neck and stayed there. Arms soundly enveloped her as his hands splayed covetously over her back. He just silently held her to him for several minutes while she rode his deep, even breaths.

"I tried, babe," he mumbled suddenly into her neck. "I tried to stay away, but I'm just not strong enough. You deserve so much better. I'm sorry. I wish I weren't such a selfish fuck-up."

Bella pulled back, but Paul kept his face buried in her shoulder. Finally she brought her hands up to his jaw and gently pulled him away enough so she could see him. His eyes stayed lowered.

"Look at me," she breathed, throwing his own words back at him. A small, sad smile of recognition quirked his lips as he raised his gaze: black and conflicted and raw… and utterly vulnerable. His abject terror was held out openly for her to see.

Automatically she brought her other hand to his face so that she cupped his cheeks like they were made of the most fragile of glass. She hated to see that self-loathing in his eyes. _It wasn't right_, she thought fiercely.

"I don't _want_ you to stay away," she whispered emphatically.

He nodded slowly in her hands and Bella smiled encouragingly. "We just need time, I think. To figure this all out."

Paul blinked and nodded again, taking deep resetting breath.

With its release, his sultry smile suddenly blossomed over his uncertainty and she felt his hands smooth up her back and tangle in her hair. Gently but firmly he pulled her face to his and, as if they had been doing so all their lives, their lips met in a comfortingly familiar yet delectably earth-shattering kiss. Their mouths seamless picked up where they had left off: a thick, sumptuous and suffocating craving that demanded satiation. With a moan, Bella melted into his embrace, pressing herself against the hard, defined lines of his body. Her palms came up to rest on his smooth pecs as she parted her lips and beseeched his tongue join hers in twisting ardor. A thousand times more potent than any liquor, Bella's body melted in a searing and steady burn that made her knees buckle. She whimpered at the bloom of a profound and white-hot need deep in the pit of her stomach. _Mine_.

At that moment -as if he had felt the same exigent demand from his own body - Paul's hands came up to smooth back her hair while desperately pulling her face away. "_Damn_," he gasped and then rested his forehead against hers. "That shit's potent," he mused under his breath.

For several minutes they both tried to catch their breaths from where they had sprinted raggedly ahead.

Paul licked his lips and pulled back looking into her eyes with an endearing wonder. It was quickly subverted by a wry smile. "I think we have that part figured out pretty good," he drawled and hitched up a saucy brow. "But time. Yeah, I'll give you some time," he murmured his face going intense again. "If I can."

An inadvertent shiver ran up her spine at his honest and ominous caveat.

Bella suddenly realized that it wasn't a matter of _if_ anymore, but _when_. He was going to try not to push her - as much as he could - and they were going to give this crazy thing a try. One way or another. And she felt alright about that. _More_ than alright. Deep, deep down in her being something settled down and sighed in contentment.

Paul's fingers came up to delicately run over her cheekbones, and then down the bridge of her nose. As if trying to memorize her every feature, they followed her brow and then pushed her hair behind her ear, tracing the shell. Bella quivered under his gentle touch and he chuckled low. His canny gaze drifted with a lazy possessiveness over her face down to the bruise that still marked her neck and his smile broadened to a leer.

With a breathtaking speed, his hand was tangled soundly in her hair and pulling her head to the side, holding it firmly – somehow without hurting her – and his lips brushed over her pulse.

He growled against her neck as his teeth sensuously massaged the tendons and made Bella's eyes roll back in her head.

"I like this here," he murmured huskily as his hot tongue traced the mark in a way that was darkly erotic."Yesss, right here. _Mine_," he purred, his lips vibrating against her skin.

Then with a strangled grunt that sounded pained, he ripped his face back and abruptly released her. "I should go," he said suddenly as if holding his breath. His eyes were black and smoldering.

Bella blinked herself from the heady allure of his touch. She swallowed thickly; she didn't _want _him to leave.

"Please don't," she heard herself ask quietly.

Paul's lips curved. "You _want_ me to stay, babe?"

Bella bit her lip and nodded.

His smile morphed into a grin. "Okay. Well if that's the way it is, I think I'll need to change to the wolf."

Bella's brow raised in alarm. "Why?" she squeaked.

Paul chuckled and then brought both his hands up to cup her jaw. Slowly he leaned in to one side of her head by her ear. "Because," he smacked his lips. "If I try and test this restraint tonight, I think I'm gonna fail miserably. As in 'F-minus, minus,'" he breathed.

Bella shivered and nodded once in his hands.

He drew back and smirked. "I thought you might see it my way. So, do you still want me to stay?" His hands fell down to hold her shoulders with a tender familiarity. His touch felt so _good_. Down to the marrow.

She'd take him however she could, she realized. "Yeah… but will it, like… want to eat me? Or bite?" she blurted before she had a chance to run her thoughts through the ole stupidity filter.

Paul laughed heartily: a rich, deep sound like fresh-ground espresso. "Oh, we'll want to eat you alright. But no biting… this time," he winked in a way that was both sexy and reassuring. "But whatever happens, don't run away," he said calmly. "Because I'll chase you." He dropped his hands to his side and cracked his neck. "And I _will_ catch you." He grinned and she realized he was teasing her. "And then I might not let you go."

Bella realized her hands were still resting against his perfect chest. She crossed her arms trying to look indignant.

Paul drew himself up to his full height with a smile and slinked away from her with that mercury gait. Bella's arms instantly dropped in nervous expectation, as she backed up toward the door. Just in case.

With a sly smile, Paul held her gaze and then deliberately started inching his shorts down over his narrow hips. Bella's eyes widened, but for some reason she couldn't look away. He pulled the black cloth down past that muscular V in his abdomen to reveal a small tuft of curly black hair and…a full blown erection. _Oh my God, he was huge!_ Bella didn't have any experience with men of course, but surely that wasn't… normal.

_How could that… how was that going to…_ Her mind stuttered as her breath caught.

"'See anything you like, little girl?" Paul crooned over a chuckle.

Bella realized she was staring – slack-jawed, no less- and her eyes snapped up to his roguish grin. Bella blushed furiously as her gaze fell like lead to her feet.

"Shit, you're so fucking sexy," she heard him murmur.

Did he just call her sexy? Bella looked up sharply just in time to see Paul fall forward and land gracefully on four paws. Thick grey fur seemed to shimmer over the man and in his stead was a wild, yellow-eyed wolf so huge that its shoulders stood at least four feet high.

Bella sucked in an audible breath as an instinctive cold rush of adrenaline – and way too much alcohol - made her dizzy.

The wolf shook its pelt out luxuriantly and then stared at her with piercing feral eyes. Dipping his head down, he stepped forward with one silent paw. Then another. And another. As the animal incrementally prowled toward her, Bella pressed herself up against the door barely daring to breathe.

Just over a foot away, it lifted its muzzle and sniffed the air once. A rumbling and satisfied sound vibrated his body and it hastened the last two steps so that it was standing inches away from her, nose to nose.

It tilted its head, considering her a moment, and then made her squeak in surprise by suddenly shoving his cold wet nose in her ear. The animal pulled back regarding her as if amused by the sound. It's tongue lolled out and it panted several times, its warm, moist breath washing over her cheeks. The wolf's breath was musky like the forest floor – it would suck if such a large animal had dog-breath she mused idly.

It pushed its snout again into her hair and snuffled, making her giggle, and then down over her neck, licking her face with a rough hot tongue and Bella released her fear in a sigh of relief. Paul as a wolf wasn't scary at all. Far less so than the man, she realized.

Relaxed now, Bella held still for the wolf's meticulous inspection. It trailed its muzzle down her body, sniffing every inch carefully as if committing to memory the scent of each pore. It had to bend down to sniffle at her bare feet, and then it lifted its head… and resolutely stuck its muzzled directly into her crotch, inhaling deeply.

"Paul!" Bella squeaked and pushed the massive head away as embarrassment burned her cheeks. A rumbling sound bounced deep in its throat. Bella tapped its nose in admonishment. The wolf grinned – well wolvishly.

Bella was suddenly struck by the incredible softness of the thick pelt under her hands – somehow she had imagined it to be wiry. She began stroking over the fur with a little appreciative gasp. "Oh my God! It's so _soft_!"

Automatically she started petting the animal, scratching behind its large ears, burying her fingers deep in the sensuous texture. The wolf closed its eyes in pleasure and leaned into her touch like a pet dog. Bella laughed and grasped the ruff of its neck and shook it affectionately. "You're so soft and fluffy!" she cooed in an exaggerated baby voice.

Yellow eyes cracked open to stare at her in personal affront – it was just the reaction she had hoped for.

She grinned wickedly. "I mean you're so terrifying and vicious," she amended with feigned deference.

The wolf snorted and then pulled its head from her hands and padded into the room, stopping and turning to see if she followed.

Bella pushed off the door and followed the animal back around to the nest of blankets before the fire. She watched as it walked around in a circle once before it laid down. Bella laughed at Paul's expense.

The wolf rolled its eyes with a look of long-suffering patience and put its muzzle down on its large paws.

A thought occurred to her, and with a purse to her lips she strode back into the kitchen. She pulled out the "junk drawer" beside the sink and found her old plastic hair brush. She turned around and gasped in surprise.

Paul had silently followed her and was watching her carefully with sober yellow eyes.

"Do wolves like to be brushed?" Bella asked with a raise to her brow.

Looking from the brush back to her hopeful eyes, it huffed and padded back to the living room, again glancing backwards to see that she followed. With at shrug, she trailed after him.

Curled up on the blanket once again, Bella knelt and began to draw the bristles through the thick fur in slow mollifying strokes. Almost immediately the Paul-wolf relaxed under her touch and stretched its huge body out before her. Paul purred deep in his throat and pressed a hot paw possessively against her leg. With a smile, Bella took her time, humming tunelessly to herself as she enjoyed the way the long soft hair felt under her tender ministrations. She brushed attentively through every inch she could reach and then urged Paul to turn over so she could get the other side.

By the time she had thoroughly brushed the animal, they were both warm, relaxed and drowsy. Bella put the brush aside and crawled forward to pillow her head on Paul's thick pelt. The wolf curled his body around her and Bella yawned and nestled into the ruff of his neck.

"If Charlie…" Bella mumbled sleepily. Paul flicked his ears reassuringly. _Oh yeah, wolf hearing._

In two seconds flat she was submerged in the best sleep of her life to the backdrop of a soft and contented rumble.


	12. Chapter 12 Getting real

**'**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12-Getting Real<strong>

* * *

><p><em>'<em>

_Shit, how could it be morning already?_

Paul cracked his eyes and glared at the day already in full bloom. He closed his eyes and pushed his muzzle against Bella's warm, flat stomach as he took another deep breath of her scent. She was lying on his shoulder with her hand resting loosely over the wolf's snout. Reluctantly, he picked his head up, and yawned a squeaky lupine yawn. Bella's hand snaked under her cheek and she pressed herself deeper into his fur drawing her shoulder up to her ear with a soft sigh.

Paul looked down at the woman who was tangled in his limbs and nestled in his pelt as the wolf snuffled thoroughly over her body in contented satisfaction. She was completely relaxed: her face utterly serene, her breathing slow and even, her open body language indicating that she felt safe and warm. _This_ is the way it _should_ be. His mate.

_Mine_.

Paul blinked. He suddenly wanted to feel her in his _arms _- feel her skin against his – just for a moment.

He slowly wriggled under her, stretching his body out a little more, and then Phased. As fur withdrew to be replaced by skin, and limbs reformed, he pulled Bella smoothly into his arms and onto his chest. It was such a seamless transformation and movement that she didn't even stir. He tugged a blanket over his hips – for Bella's sake as well as his own – and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Paul drew in a slow breath of bliss at the crown of her head. Had he ever felt so at peace as he did right at this moment? Sure, his balls felt like they were in a fucking vise, but it was a small price to pay.

He hadn't been able to deny her, when she picked up that stupid plastic brush with that earnest look in her eye. But as soon as she had started running the bristles through his fur, following it with a smoothing palm, he had understood.

He wondered if she had too on some level.

To be groomed by his mate was a profound and instinctually meaningful experience for the wolf. But for the man, it was, perhaps even more so. The attentiveness and tenderness of her touch soothed some deep ache inside him. Paul – the man - had never in his life felt so cared for.

Yes, that incessant throbbing agony in his loins was a small price to pay, indeed.

At that moment, Bella stirred. She splayed her hand out over his chest with a sleepy groan and then stiffened in his arms. She suddenly pushed off of him with a little squeak and wide eyes.

Paul smiled and brought an arm up behind his head. "Good morning, babe."

"Y-you-… uh you're –" she stuttered.

"I'm Paul. Don't you remember last night, little girl?" Paul grinned wickedly. "Mmm, you gave it to me good," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Bella squeaked and he saw her eyes cut down to where blankets obscured his nudity. Damn, she was so transparent. She had no hidden agenda, no ulterior motives and not a fake or manipulative bone in her body. It was awesome.

"I-… we-" Bella gasped looking down at her own sweats and baby doll tee in dismay.

He took pity on her. "With a brush, babe. Remember? With a brush." He laughed.

She frowned and slapped at his chest half-heartedly. "You're mean," she pouted.

"Definitely," he agreed and reached out to greedily pulled her back to him. Just _one _more minute of the feel of her warm, petal-soft skin…

But Bella stiffened and subtly pulled away, sitting up more. The courage and ease she had borrowed from the alcohol last night had all but evaporated.

Paul smoothly switched the trajectory of his hand to join the other behind his head, as if that had been his intention all along. His cheeky grin faded slightly as he took careful stock of the woman beside him.

She blushed under his gaze and those two pearly teeth bit her lower lip uncertainly. In the harsh light of day – and out from under the shelter of numbing liquor – he had been a fool to think anything could be so easily resolved. Especially things as complicated as this.

Bella pushed her hair nervously behind her ear. It was wild and rumpled from sleep… and very, very sexy. "Hey, I- I don't have a hangover or anything," she smiled timidly with an endearing attempt at casual.

Maybe it was an imprint thing, he thought absently- who the fuck cared right now. Paul absently nodded as his eyes searched her face in concern; she was uncomfortable.

A thought occurred to him. "Hey, would you do me a favor?" he asked softly.

Bella swallowed and nodded as she pulled a corner of her lip into her mouth.

"Can you come with me to Sam's house this morning? Every Sunday, there's kind of an informal breakfast..."

Bella looked stricken and twisted her hands in the hem of her shirt.

Paul brought a hand around to rest gently on her knee in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.

Bella flinched.

He closed his eyes briefly in regret; she was still afraid of him. She probably should be.

He continued, trying to make his voice as non-threatening as possible. "I'd like you to talk to Emily about the whole imprinting thing. You know, get a different take on it from someone who's been there. Y'know, another girl, and all." Mentally he cursed Sam for choosing a fucking virgin _cub_ to explain imprinting to anyone. _But especially_ to the very object of his own puppy love.

Sam probably had his reasons. They probably weren't good enough for Paul.

Bella looked like this was both a tempting and terrifying prospect. She licked her lips. "Um, well, she's probably kinda irritated with me. I mean, the other day…" she blushed. "I stormed out of there. I was… um, upset."

Paul sat up with a frown. "Emily isn't-"

Bella scooted back as she nervously glanced at the blanket still in place over his groin.

Paul chuckled in spite of himself and hitched up higher on his waist. He was comfortable with his body. "Emily's not mad. She's not like that. This has been a pretty sucky time all around; she gets that."

Bella's gaze was darting uncertainly between his eyes. "H-how do you know?"

"We go way back," he smiled at the sparkle of interest in her eyes. "How 'bout this? Why don't you go upstairs and shower or whatever, get some clothes on. I'll _get dressed_." He paused, emphasizing that part and smirking at her visible relief. "And then I'll call her, okay?" He kind of felt like he was trying to talk a jumper down from a ledge, or something. She seemed so… troubled.

She hesitated a moment and then nodded. "Okay," she let out a long sigh. Standing, she rubbed her hands on her thighs and walked silently toward the stairs.

Paul waited until he heard her shut a door behind her before he swung the blanket out of the way and searched for his shorts.

His mind drifted restlessly as he rearranged the living room to what was more than likely its original configuration and folded the blankets.

It was totally normal that the brakes would be slammed back on from the liquor-greased pace of last night. But Paul – while still apprehensive - found himself more at peace with the whole situation than he had ever thought possible. The further he stepped into her arms, the harder it became to ever imagine being anywhere else. It was probably part of the sneaky design of this curse. Like quicksand… or a noose.

But if it killed him to spend every night like last night – pressed against her sweet, soft body, under the tender caress of her hand – he would take it in a second. Happily.

It really _was_ totally sick.

And Paul didn't care.

He laughed at the absurdity of it all – and especially at himself – as he wrapped the bottle of vodka in the plastic grocery bag and stepped out the front door to throw it way in the outside bin. He doubted Bella wanted it in the kitchen trash for her father to question.

When Paul reentered the house, Bella was standing at the base of the stairs looking surprised that he'd come back. _Did she think he would just leave?_

"Where'd you go?" she asked curiously.

"I threw the bottle away. Y'know…outside. " Paul closed the door by leaning against it, assessing.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks," she mumbled. Bella had her hands shoved all the way in her pockets of her jeans and her shoulders were rounded with insecurity. Paul didn't like it.

"'You okay?" he asked quietly.

Bella bit her lip and wrinkled her nose at herself. "Yeah, I'm sorry… I'm just-" she completed her sentence with an impatient huff and pulled both shoulders up to her ears with an apologetic grimace.

Paul strode across the room, stopping in front of her. "Bella, I-"

_Fuck_, he wasn't any better at this shit than she was.

Impulsively he reached out and slid a hand under her hair and cupped the side of her neck. The touch made each of them visibly relax – like a shot of vodka, Paul thought ironically. It was cheating, but what the fuck. If they were stuck with a curse, they might as well use it, right?

He brought his other hand up to cup her head and took a step forward. "Bella, I know this is weird and kinda sucks. I'm sorry you got snagged into this mess."

"I'm not," she surprised him by coming back quickly. Surely.

Paul blinked. "You're not?"

She shook her head. "I mean, unless you are…"

Paul sniffed and looked into her eyes. "I'm scared I'm gonna fuck it up, babe. But I already tried to walk away and it just ain't happenin'." _He didn't even want to walk away any more._

Bella nibbled her lip with an expression that was entirely too thoughtful for Paul's liking.

"Look, just like you said last night. Let's take some time, and figure this all out," his hands slithered up so his thumbs could run over the rosy glow of her creamy cheeks. Oh he was _so_ not going _anywhere_ any time soon in this lifetime. Or the next. "I'm not going to push you though."

"If you can," she reminded him.

"Huh?"

Bella's brow was earnest. "You said you would try, remember?"

"Yeah," Paul smiled and leaned forward to press his lips to hers chastely – to prove that he could do it.

To himself more than to Bella.

But the touch of those wildflower-honey lips was like an intravenous shot of some illicit substance, and it instantly flooded his body with a heady and burning desire. He jerked back with a choking gasp which was echoed by her soft throaty moan.

Bella's eyes went wide and Paul attempted a reassuring smile.

It came out more like a grimace and his hands dropped like lead to his side.

"Uh, L-lemme call Emily. Where's your phone?" he stammered taking a step back.

"Kitchen," she mumbled and sat down on the first stair, rubbing her face with her hands.

The drive to the Rez was pure hell.

Being stuck in that small cab with her intoxicating scent made Paul want to crawl out of his skin, or more accurately, crawl into hers.

So he stared.

The wolf was absolutely mesmerized by every little movement, each blush, nervous blink, covert glance. He knew it was unnerving Bella, too: she gripped the wheel with white-knuckled hands and drove twenty miles an hour.

But he simply _couldn't help it_. This was getting worse.

They collectively released a sigh of relief when Sam and Emily's mailbox came into view.

Until Bella had inched the truck down the long gravel driveway into view of the house.

Until she saw Embry and Jared lounged out on the steps of the porch eating breakfast while they watched Sam digging up Emily's flower bed and Quil doing acrobatics on the rope swing hung from the huge old tree in front. Paul hoped Seth and Leah were finally with their mother. He hoped Jacob was in Canada.

Bella turned off the engine with shaking fingers.

She turned to Paul, "I don't know about this…" she murmured weakly.

Paul tried to offer her an encouraging smile. "Why? What could happen?"

"Um, they could say something," she hedged uncomfortably.

"Like what?"

"I don't know…" Bella trailed off, pulling the key out of the ignition.

Paul turned to pull up the door handle.

"I mean," she started and he whipped back around. "What if they think we… y'know…" She blushed like a plumb.

It was adorable.

Both he and his wolf wanted to say 'that'd be _great_, then they'd know you're _mine_.' But instead he gave her the most obvious answer – to him. "They won't think that because…" And thought better of it.

Bella looked up sharply. "What?'" He hadn't stopped soon enough, though. _Shit_.

Paul shrugged it off. The first answer just might have been better.

"Look, be real with me Paul. I'm serious. I'm sick of being clueless about all this crazy stuff. Just straight-up _tell me. __Everything_," her eyes flashed with irritation.

It was sexy.

"Okay, they'll know we didn't by scent," he said carefully.

"So…because I took a shower?" Bella asked hopefully.

He thought about lying, but thought better of it. Not being honest had already screwed this whole thing up enough. "No, if we'd had _sex_,"

Bella flinched.

Paul smirked, "then you would carry my scent and they'd know."

"But we were uh, h-hugging and s-stuff," Bella stuttered delicately, her eyelashes fluttering.

"Not that kind of scent," Paul met her eyes meaningfully.

Bella choked. "But i-if I took a shower…?"

Paul shook his head with a sympathetic grimace. "Look, it's a wolf thing." He wisely deferred mentioning another reason the mating bond came with such a sexual appetite. What better way to mark an imprint than from the inside out? A method that required frequent… repetition.

Bella's anxiety was rising – and it was winding his wolf up correspondingly.

And in that moment, Paul realized that Bella could still refuse him. Even though he became more and more bound to her by the minute. His wolf went ballistic.

He tried to tamp the beast down.

He turned to her and licked his lips nervously as he reached out and placed his now quivering hands over hers twisting in her lap. The imprint instantly soothed them both. A little.

"Look. You want real? Here it is, babe," he looked into her eyes. "This all sounds crazy and probably gross, and it probably would to me too if I were _human_. _But I'm not_." He grasped her hands in his. "_I'm __not__ human_ Bella. I share my mind, body…_and__ my heart_ with this supernatural _animal_. And I see stuff this through its eyes too – where it all makes perfect sense. If you want it straight-up - it's fucked up - but that's the way it is. There's going to be a lot of things about me that don't make sense." He shook his head apologetically. "I'm not a man, Bella. And- " he swallowed thickly. He had to force the next words out of his throat but the clawing instinct to stop them shredded them hoarse. "And you still have a choice."

Bella's face was an unfathomable mask.

Paul tried to ignore it. "Em's much better at this shit than I am, kay? But I wanted to tell you that, since you asked for straight-up."

Bella blinked as he released her hands.

He swallowed, struggling with beast flailing inside him and tried to put her at ease."_And_ if any of those idiots say anything stupid, I'll take care of it," Paul gave her roguish wink and was rewarded with a ghost of a smile.

He got out of the truck and slammed the door and immediately doubled over gasping. He felt like there was a fist clenched around his heart.

_She's going to leave. My mate. __Can't__ let her leave. __Mine__. _The voice was tearing him to shreds on the inside like he swallowed a handful of broken glass. _Fuck_, this was getting _so much_ worse.

Shaking his head to clear it he straightened and saw Bella close the driver's side door; he hadn't been certain that she was actually going to get out of the cab. Head tucked she shuffled around to Paul and surprised him by reaching for his hand.

The touch of her fingers mollified the wolf enough so that Paul could breathe. He inhaled deeply.

Bella lifted her chin in a show of courage as they approached that Pack, who were busily trying to act normal. Except for Embry. He could be such a dick. He leered at Paul with a stage wink and Paul bared his teeth in silent warning.

Sam looked up from his work at what would have been a normal human distance to acknowledge them. Lord knows, they all could have heard the entire discussion in the truck if they'd wanted to, but they also had an unspoken pact to give each other privacy, whenever possible.

"Hey Bella, Paul," he greeted in his resonant voice - as if it were the most normal thing in the world to see them together -as he thrust the shovel into the ground and dusted his hands off.

"Hey, Sam," Bella said timidly.

The Pack on the porch called out anonymous greetings and she released Paul's hand to raise hers in answer.

Paul didn't miss the part about her letting go of his hand, though. He subtly fell back a step behind her.

Quil was now spinning on the rope swing and he yelled out a warbling, "Bell-ll-ll-aaah!"

She laughed and it was like crack to Paul's senses. His shoulders relaxed and he mentally gave Quil a high-five.

"Em's in the house. Why don't you guys grab something to eat," Sam smiled. "I _think_ these monsters left something for you."

Bella nodded with a sincere smile. Sam had really gotten good at this shit too.

As they walked up the steps, Embry and Jared stood to let them through.

As they passed by, Embry hissed by Paul's ear impishly, "is that a hick-"

His intended bratty taunt was cut short by Paul's lightning fist to his gut and he doubled over coughing spasmodically. Only Embry was rambunctious – or masochistic - enough to mess with Paul.

Bella whipped around with wide eyes.

Paul smirked and caught up with her. "See, babe?" he drawled coolly and ushered her through the screen with a protective hand at the small of her back.

"Emb you're _such_ a stupid ass!" he heard Jared chortle as the screen door clacked behind them.

Having run the gauntlet, so to speak, Paul's testosterone levels inched down a notch as they made their way to a homey and delicious-smelling kitchen with classical music flitting airily around the high ceiling.

"Bella!" Emily greeted blithely as she looked up from freeing yet another batch of muffins from their pan.

Bella wiggled her fingers shyly.

"Have a seat, girl," she invited warmly, wisely not making her even more uncomfortable with a hug.

Paul crossed the kitchen to place a kiss on his friend's cheek. "Thanks, Em," he whispered by her ear before he turned and snatched up a muffin and took a, well, wolf-sized bite.

"Take what you want and _shew_! Our girl's night got cut short last time – and I blame _you_," she scolded Paul, while at the same time putting Bella at ease. That girl was a fucking professional… everything.

Paul gave Bella wry grin that said 'told ya so,' and, grabbing another muffin, strode out of the kitchen.

But that's where his nonchalance stopped.

As soon as he reached the living room, his feet stopped cold and his shoulders fell along with his facade. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe slowly through his nose. His wolf was not happy about leaving her like this, and neither was Paul.

_Mine_, the voice raged.

"Paul?" Sam's voice called quietly.

He looked up to see Sam peering through the screen door. With a jerk to his chin, he motioned Paul outside.

Each step was more arduous than the last. By the time he was at the door, there was perspiration beading his forehead. Sam held the door open for him with a sickeningly sympathetic expression on his face while Paul shuffled out onto the porch like an old man.

The indignation of the chafing pity gave him the strength to reach the top step where he collapsed. Heavily.

The rest of the Pack was nowhere to be seen, thank God. Sometimes Sam did alright.

Paul's foot started tapping restlessly as if it could alleviate the twisting knot in his stomach. _He wanted to be in there with her._ The pull was a million times worse and now amplified further by the wolf's anxiety. That instinct had seen something in Bella's face that it didn't like at all. Not one bit.

_Fear_.

She was going to run. And he wanted to chase her down. _Mine_.

"How's it going, dude?" Sam asked quietly as he sat down beside him.

Paul wordlessly shoved the unscathed muffin toward him without looking. He couldn't even think about eating right now.

Sam took it. "It'll get better when –"

"_Shut the fuck up_!" he ground out. Paul hurled the remaining muffin out past the tree-line in frustration. "What happens if it –" he hung his head raking his fingers through his short hair.

"It'll happen. Look, you're trying to do this the old fashioned way." Sam sighed and took a bite. "The imprint just speeds up the process that would happen anyway if you gave it enough time. You're made for each other. The bond would take over if you just-"

"_Shit_, Sam. You and Emily weren't all fucked up like I am! It was all la-la-Romeo-and-Juliet-the-hills-are-alive-with-the-sound-of-fucking-music bullshit for you." Paul looked up and growled. "It's not like that for us." He slapped the porch so hard, the hardwood edge broke off. "She's fucking _scared _of me."

Sam glanced down blandly at the damage to his deck with a 'wonder why' raise to his brow. "You're fixing that," was all he wisely said.

Paul drew a deep breath of frustration through his nose and…

His gaze snapped to the figure loping across the lawn, taking a bite out of a half-eaten muffin no less.

_Jacob_.

Jacob looked up and saw Paul.

Paul saw red.

Without knowing how, he was suddenly 100 feet across the lawn with his arm drawn back to throw a wicked punch.

"**PAUL STOP**!"

The only reason that punch hadn't landed was that his Alpha had wrapped him in the steel hawsers of his command. Sam's body alone couldn't have done it; it was dangerous to get between Paul and anything. Especially when it came to Bella. _Especially_ then.

Sam's muscular arms wrapped vise-like around his chest.

"_You let her think …that __I hate her!__" _Paul snarled so viciously that foam sprayed from his mouth. "_You_ _told her …I __didn't want her_!"

Having instantly dropped the muffin for a defensive crouch, Jacob's face went from shock to fury in a second flat.

"You-" he began with a sneer.

"**STOP**, Jake," Sam cautioned and then leaned in to Paul's ear as his arms struggled to restrain him, even in combination with the imperative. "We didn't know how much she knew, Paul. Emily thought Jake was the only one she would trust that day," he spoke in a soothing monotone.

_Fucking __fucking__ Alpha._ Bringing Emily into this like it would make it okay.

Paul growled. "He shouldn't have said-"

"But you _didn't_, remember?" Jacob interrupted in a low and calm voice - in contrast to his quivering muscles - flaunting his fucking blue blood. He took a step forward. "But I _did_," he fixed him with a steely stare and leaned closer. "And _if_ you hurt her - at all …I'll _kill_ you."

Paul's gaze darted between Jacob's burning black eyes. He stopped struggling against Sam's hold.

"If I hurt her…_I'll let you_," Paul whispered and his shoulders deflated as his blind rage receded to uncover far more complex and dangerous emotions. "But promise me this, Jake. _Promise me," _he choked in a plea of dark desperation.

Jacob's brow shot up as he took a confused step back.

"If she walks away… if she doesn't want me, then _you'll kill me too_."

And at that moment, Paul realized that it was _this_–buried under all the rest of the internal damage wreaked by his chaotic life – that was the single most terrifying instigator begging him to fight this thing all along.

It had nothing to do with wolves or imprints: if he let himself love, if he got a taste of what it was like to want and _be wanted_… and she still walked away?

_The man_ wouldn't survive it.

He wouldn't even want to try.


	13. Chapter 13 Faith

**'  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13 – Faith<strong>

* * *

><p>'<p>

As soon as Paul left the kitchen, Emily met Bella's gaze. "So would you like some tea?" she smiled that lopsided smile of hers that made her look so clever.

Bella nodded quickly and wrapped her arms around herself as her calves immediately sprinted into a frenzy, tapping on the balls of both feet. When Emily turned to the counter, Bella turned and looked behind her at the empty kitchen doorway.

_Paul had left. _

Why was that thought so upsetting? He was probably just out with the guys on the front porch.

_But Paul had __left__. _

Her stomach twisted as a prickling heat seeped upwards, in the same way as if someone had said 'today's a pop quiz' (when she hadn't read the assignment) or 'I have bad news.' Only worse.

She turned and looked at the empty doorway again.

_What was wrong with her?_ Bella slowly blinked and drew in a deep, open-mouthed breath. And held it.

Whipping back around at clack on the table, she saw Emily set down a steaming handmade-looking mug with a little paper square dangling from the lip by a string. _She must have one of those special hot water spigots,_ Bella thought idly. She had been hoping for a little more time to get herself together.

Pushing the mug across the worn wooden table, Emily slid onto the bench across from her and propped her elbows before her and her chin on her knuckles.

Bella gave her a sickly smile and reached out for the mug with both hands. Her hands were shaking like leaves.

Embarrassed, she pulled the mug to her quickly and tried to steady her palms against it, but it was too hot. Pushing her hair back behind her ears with her trembling fingers, she twisted them in her lap instead.

"Honey, are you okay?" Emily asked quietly.

Bella looked up to see her jaunty pose had transformed to one of worry: her hands now tensely prone on the table. It would be stupid say she was 'fine' when she looked like a strung-out junkie, so she shook her head and bit her lip against the sudden burn of tears.

She had wanted to believe that it was some sort of weird hangover that had made her feel –since she had woken up - like she was a spring slowly being wound tighter and tighter. But Bella wasn't very good at lying. Even to herself.

Taking a deep breath, she swallowed and met Emily's worried gaze. "Um, I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin – literally – or like if I _don't,_ I'm gonna totally lose it," Bella quavered. Her feet were tapping so fast now that her whole body bounced on the bench. "Is it the imprint-thing?" she ventured in chagrin.

Emily sighed, "well it affects-"

Bella cut her off with a sudden strangled gurgle in the back of throat as she clutched at her chest.

_Oh no! She was having a heart attack!_

She shot up in alarm, but the long wooden bench was too heavy to move with her so she ended up tumbling backwards off it and onto the floor.

She didn't even register the impact.

Bella curled up in a ball gasping against the clawing pain in her chest like her heart itself was trying to chew its way out.

"Bella!" Emily's cool hands fluttered helplessly over her.

Bella surprised them both by quickly grasping her wrists in both of her hands as soon as they got close enough. With wild eyes, she frantically pulled herself up by climbing Emily's arms – the woman somehow understanding and helping her - and then she was running.

Running through the house.

She hit the screen door with such force that it ricocheted against the outside of the house before banging closed behind her. She stumbled down the steps - wobbling on buckled knees at the foot of them - and kept running.

Wide, unfocused eyes had just made out two figures out in the large yard - and realized this was her feet's destination -when the lone wolf's howl shattered the Sunday morning.

Bella fell to her knees and hunched over, clapping her hands to her ears as if it could possibly block out the sorrow and torment in that keening wail.

Her eyes squeezed tightly on scalding tears as she pressed her chest to her thighs, her body tightly balled against such hopelessness.

"No!" the word finally broke in a hoarse whisper over her knees, though she didn't know what it meant. It was repeated over and over in full body sobs by a mouth and a body that had become alien. "No-no-no-no…"

Large hot palms on her shoulders shocked Bella into silence. _She didn't want that touch._ She drew herself in tighter, with a whimper.

"Wait Jacob! Don't touch her!" The harsh sound of Emily's admonishment broke through Bella's haze as that touch was blissfully snatched away.

Hands still clutching her ears, Bella's heaving gasps painfully stressed ribs that tried vainly to expand in her crunched position. Her breathing adjusted to rapid shallow pants.

"What happened?" she heard Emily's voice demand beside her.

Bella tried to follow the skittering words of the conversation, but she simply couldn't.

_Her heart! _Not a heart attack.. it had been _ripped out_. She was sure of it. _Paul. Something was wrong. So __very wrong__. _

"Can you bring him back?" Emily asked

Those words made Bella's hands drop hastily from her ears to press against the ground. She pushed her shoulders up slightly and her eyes sought Emily with frantic questions. But Emily was looking up at Sam from where she knelt beside Bella.

"That's not a good idea. He needs to run," Sam replied, pinching the bridge of his nose with stress. "He has no control right now."

"You don't think his imprint can help with that?" Emily pressed as she rubbed Bella's back absently.

"His _imprint_ hasn't _accepted_ him yet," Sam came back tartly.

Emily clicked her tongue. "Samuel. Don't be like that," she scolded gently.

Sam rubbed a hand down over his face. "Jesus. I'm sorry, Em. Bella. It's just been a - It's been a rough morning." He rolled his shoulders. "Let him alone for now. He's running up to Port Angeles to get his car. He'll be calmer when he gets back and we can talk to him then."

"Did you hear all that, Bella?" Emily asked quietly as she gingerly smoothed back the lock of hair obscuring one of Bella's eyes. Her fingers were cool in contrast to Jake's scorching touch.

"P-Paul. S-something's wr-wrong," Bella hiccupped senselessly as her eyes scanned around her dizzily.

"Shh, it's okay. _He's_ okay, Bella. He's just really upset," Emily soothed as she rubbed her back. "You guys are going to kill each other, I swear," she murmured under her breath.

Bella collapsed her face in her hands, uncurling enough to prop her elbows on her knees, as hot tears seeped between her fingers.

"C'mon, let's get you inside. You can have that tea and we can chat," Emily crooned, grasping her by the shoulders. Bella arduously stood and, tucked under Emily's shoulder, she made her way back into the house.

Sam trailed behind them. Jacob was nowhere to be seen.

Bella hunched over her mug as her feet beginning again their frenetic tapping. She was trying _not_ to look at the loving couple across the kitchen. Sam had his arms wrapped around Emily and their lips were moving in a sensuous and luxuriant kiss. He whispered something into her ear and she giggled, stroking her fingers tenderly over his cheek. Always tender.

Bella looked down at the mug of now tepid liquid, and then lifted it to take a sip. As the all-you-can-eat-smorgasbord of intense emotions had receded, she was left feeling utterly confused and painfully embarrassed. She had just had a total breakdown. Emily was never going to invite her over again.

"So, 'you feeling a little better, honey?"

Bella looked up to see Emily slide onto the bench across from her. A quick glance around the kitchen showed no sign of Sam.

"He's gone down to finish up some work. I give us about an hour," Emily answered her unasked question. "That's not much time, I'm sorry. But he needs me; all this with Paul has been really hard on him. He's trying so hard to be Alpha until Jake's ready, but he's always doubting himself."

Bella looked down into her tea again. She didn't really know what to say – Emily always seemed to know exactly what to do in any situation… unlike herself. Her finger tapped a counter rhythm to her feet against her cup. She wished she had more answers; she felt completely lost.

"You two have a very strong bond, Bella." Bella jerked her head up to see Emily eyeing her restless fingers meaningfully. "Sam said he's never heard of a couple being so in tune before the bond was … um, sealed."

Bella blushed and pulled a shoulder up to her ear uncomfortably. "Is that what this was? My crazy little breakdown?"

Emily nodded. "I think you were feeling his emotions."

Bella's hands and feet stilled and she met Emily's gaze. "What happened, Emily," she whispered tensely. "Is he okay?"

She tipped her head with a wrinkle to her nose. "He's pretty upset, but Sam thinks he'll be okay. Apparently he and Jake got into it and it brought up some stuff for him."

Bella nodded numbly. "And Jake?"

"Yeah, he just feels bad. He didn't really understand about imprinting."

A half-maniacal laugh burst from Bella's lips. "Yeah, I can't say I do either."

Emily smiled sympathetically. "Well, I can help with that."

"Do you have some kind of 'Imprinting for Dummies' book that I can take home or something?" Bella snorted acerbically.

Emily was unperturbed. "I should write one of those, shouldn't I?" she laughed. "But if you want the cliff notes version, here it is: your imprint is your soul mate, your other half."

Bella wrinkled her nose, she had never really believed in that gooshy stuff. But then again, she hadn't thought werewolves and vampires existed either.

Emily laughed again at her expression. "The Council has plenty of practical and unflattering reasons for the whole thing if you prefer that…"

"Babies," Bella interjected glumly.

Emily gave her a commiserating look. "Yeah. But Sam researched the old stories about it and he thinks it's more about balancing the wolf… and the man."

Bella moved her cup aside, paying rapt attention. She wanted to understand this part. "How?"

Emily leaned forward. "Bella, the Change is really _really_ hard on them. Suddenly they no longer even own their own bodies – they share it with this…_beast_. And their insides are always churning with this protective _rage_. It has to be that way because then it's only a small step to the killing frenzy needed to protect their people against an unnaturally powerful enemy that really is – though they never admit it – on the very razor's edge of their ability to defeat." Her eyes were intense, troubled. "But it keeps them always on the verge of violence. Always battling themselves for control. Sam said he feels like he's literally on fire - burning from the inside out. "

Bella covered her face with her hands as she felt the pressure of building from unshed tears. It broke her heart to think of Paul having to endure that after all he had been through. Or Jake. Or anyone. One day a normal kid, the next…

"The imprint is the only thing that soothes the wolf," Emily continued and Bella looked up again. "And she transforms that violent instinct into a sheltering protectiveness based on _love_, not on hate. She can make the white hot fires of anger burn the cool blue of desire. She can hold him and give him respite from this duty he's been forced into," she paused and tipped her head to the side, her black hair rippling. "She brings him peace."

Bella bit her lip. She couldn't do any of that! She didn't even have any peace herself. She couldn't give something she didn't have, could she?

Emily seemed to sense her trepidation. "What's the part that scares you the most, Bella?"

Bella looked up. "Well it's not the wolf. I'm pretty good with weird. It's kinda funny but the wolf is easier to deal with than Paul," she quirked her lips and then added as an afterthought, "the wolf's so cute and fluffy."

Emily laughed. "I hope you told him that," she said with a mischievous sparkle to her eyes.

"I did actually." Bella gave her an impish half-smile. "But _Paul_ can be kind of… intimidating."

"He can be, but I know you see him as he is. He's had to develop a tough shell to protect that gentle heart of his," Emily said quietly

Bella nodded, because she did see him that way too. "How do you guys know each other?"

Emily took a deep breath. "We met in foster care. They try to keep the Rez kids on the Rez so there were several of us all put up at Auntie Souza's." She splayed her hands on the table before her as she met Bella's gaze intensely. "You should have seen him, Bella. He must have been only seven and his left eye was black and blue and swollen shut. His arm was in a cast and he had bruises all over his body. It was right after his mom had left with her boyfriend and his father had taken it out on him. The System likes to turn a blind eye down here, but it was so bad that they had decided to finally intervene."

Bella's eyes burned as her lips started to tremble.

"I had never been in foster care before and I was scared and embarrassed, but Paul – even though he was no more than a child – understood and took me under his wing. We would sit out on the porch for hours and he would tell me funny stories he made up about these little people that lived in the woods and used acorn caps for dishes or other silly things like that. At school he made sure that everyone knew that if they teased me, they answered to him. Everyone was afraid of him too, back then. Even with that cast." Emily smiled sadly. "I eventually went to live with my cousins down the coast, but Paul went back with his dad. We saw each other when I would visit in the summer. He almost always had some horrible bruise that was healing - and probably others you couldn't see. But he was always so kind to me."

She couldn't hold it back any more, Bella burst into tears. All the confusion, sorrow and empathy converged into a sudden attack of soul-wrenching sobs. She covered her face in her hands and put her head on the table as she wept miserably.

Emily's arms were suddenly around her, holding her quaking shoulders and smoothing her hair soothingly.

"It's n-not fair," she rasped between sobs. "_No one_ should be treated like that. _No one_. But _especially_ not _Paul_!"

"Shh, I know, honey. Life can be cruel, can't it. Shh," Emily murmured as she rested her forehead against Bella's shoulder.

After several minutes Bella's tears slowed and she picked her head up off the table, sniffling wretchedly.

Emily got up and fetched some napkins, holding them out to Bella as she sat back down, straddling the bench.

Bella took them and wiped her face while her lips still quivered. "Actually, I think the real problem is _me_. Paul deserves someone who's cool and knows how to do stuff, like you. I'm scared I'm going to mess things up."

"Bella." Emily placed her hand on her thigh and waited until she wiped at her face another time and turned to meet her gaze. "You just have to be _yourself_. That's all I am. Sam doesn't care if I cook for the Pack or whatever. I do it because I _like_ to," she said emphatically. "The Council helps a little with the food bill and I get to stay home and paint and cook in my kitchen, and I love it. It's just who I am. If it wasn't, things would be different. But it _wouldn't_ be different with Sam and me. He accepts me as I am, just as I accept him- fur and all. You just have to be yourself, Bella."

"B-But I don't even know who I am!" Bella cried in frustration, tears starting to fill her eyes again.

"Yes you do. Perhaps you've just forgotten. Jake said that the lee-" she stopped herself and smiled apologetically. "What was his name?"

"E-Edward," Bella provided quietly.

"He said that Edward was kind of … controlling. That he didn't let you be yourself," Emily paused and met her gaze questioningly.

Bella thought about it a moment and nodded sheepishly. It hadn't really seemed so at the time, but the farther she got away from that relationship, the more she saw that this was probably true.

"Well that can do a number on you, girl. Believe me, I had one like that," Emily rolled her eyes flippantly, obviously trying to lighten Bella's mood. "And then with Jake trying to cozy up to you all the time?" She smiled. "It's no wonder."

"So see, I don't have any peace to give…"Bella sighed forlornly.

"Sure you do. Being yourself can be not knowing who you are right now. Maybe you guys need to figure out who you each are together, that's all." Emily's gaze washed over Bella's miserable expression. "Look Bella. You have a choice, you can walk away from this if you want. But what does your heart say? How do you _feel_?"

"I love him," she answered easily, without even thinking about it. "But I've known him like two weeks! _T__hat_ doesn't even make freaking sense!" Bella groaned in frustration.

Emily smiled. "You're thinking too much. You just need to _feel_. And you need a little faith."

Bella's brow dipped. "I'm not really religious, or anything."

"Faith has everything to do with religion, but religion has nothing to do with faith," Emily rebuked. "You need a little faith in _yourself_, faith in Paul…and faith in whoever made this crazy world where men turn into giant wolves to protect us from our nightmares... and put you together in it."

Bella expelled a breath and pushed herself off the table, grabbing her half-drunk tea. "I need to go meet my dad over at the Clearwaters," she mumbled as she went to the sink to wash out her mug. "God, I don't know what to do," she sighed under her breath as she turned on the water.

Emily had trailed after her and leaned her hip against the counter. "You'll figure it out honey. I know you will," she reassured quietly.

Bella wasn't so sure.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella left her truck in Emily's driveway –with her permission- and walked to the Clearwaters' home. She thought it would help with that tinny tingle in her bones and the nervous twitch in her muscles.

The house was somber and subdued, with Sue sitting red-eyed on the couch with Seth and Leah pressed up against each side. Bella couldn't say why, but she was sure Sue had been told about the werewolves and their place in the tribe. There was a certain peaceful acceptance and pride in the way she hugged her children to her.

Billy was his usual unflappable self, but he gave Bella a piercing once over - when no one was looking -and she wondered how much he knew. Bella decided she didn't care. She was sick of worrying about what other people thought of her.

Charlie was agitated – there was some case up in Port Angeles that had gotten out of hand and he was being called in to help investigate. It made Bella see her father in a different light – she knew he was good at his job, but she hadn't realized that everyone else knew it too. Charlie could probably have worked anywhere he wanted, it was only by choice that he kept this backwoods gig in Forks.

"Bells, why don't you stay with some friends while I'm gone. You can stay at the Blacks…ah, if Jake sleeps on the couch," he muttered, his eyes dipping to where Bella was oh, so casually holding her neck in her hand. She realized that he had indeed seen the now-fading purple mark - when she had thought she had been so sneaky -and he thought Jacob had made it. "Or Billy says you've been getting to know Sam Uley's girl, maybe with her? Or someone from school." He suggested as he gathered his things.

"Okay, dad. I'll see who wants to put up the poor little orphan," she snorted sarcastically as she abandoned her useless hickey-hiding and started folding the blankets he had borrowed from Sue.

From there it was a meandering walk to Jacob's house. Her nervous energy was slowly changing to hollow melancholy.

She wordlessly flopped on the battered old couch in his garage and stared up at the ceiling. Jacob stopped what he was working on and collapsed on an over-turned industrial bucket that he used to catch oil.

After several silent minutes Jacob cleared his throat. "I-I'm sorry, Bells," he said quietly.

Bella didn't take her eyes from the wood beam on the ceiling. "For what, Jake?"

"I didn't really understand about imprinting," she heard him sigh heavily.

"I didn't either, Jake. I didn't either," Bella murmured softly.

Eventually Jacob had returned to his work, and they spent the afternoon together. Silent, but together; Bella stretch out on the old couch with her ankles crossed, Jake pushed under some kind of classic car. He had offered her lunch and a warm soda, but Bella wasn't hungry – or thirsty – so Jacob ate by himself, furtively stealing glances at her brooding on the couch.

In the afternoon a long eerie howl made Jacob sit up so fast that he banged his head on the car he was working on. Their gazes met and he gave her curt nod as if she had asked him a question.

"Something's up, I gotta go," he said as he stood up and wiped his hands on his cut offs.

"Go ahead and change, I won't look," Bella said dully, returning her gaze to the ceiling.

Normally Jacob would have had some teasing comeback for such a statement, but this time she just heard the crinkle of denim as he peeled shorts from skin.

Canine panting heralded a cold nose on her cheek and Bella absently brought her hand up to rest on the large brown furry head. She scratched behind his ears. "Go on, Jake. I'll be by Emily's later," she intoned under her breath. And with a small plaintive whine the wolf turned and slipped out the garage door.

It was another somber, pensive half an hour before she could make herself sit up. She swung her feet to the ground and rubbed her face briskly. And then mechanically she headed for Emily's.

She took the long way.

Through the green, green forest that seemed bright somehow even under the heavy clouds. It smelled of ferns and moist earth and the musky sweetness of the forest floor. It reminded her of Paul.

Hell, _everything_ reminded her of him.

Through this entire day her thoughts had been churning around last evening, Emily's stories, his touch, his scent, that intriguingly canny look to his eye, that shrewd twist to his lips. He was everything she wanted: strength, sensitivity, an exciting edge of something more. Someone who wasn't trying to fix her, or change her. Someone who needed maybe a little fixing himself. Who _needed_ her.

Why, then, was she still scared to death?

As she headed down Sam and Emily's driveway she remembered what Emily had said: she needed to have faith. She realized that as scary as he could be, she _had_ faith in Paul. But faith in herself? Such a concept seemed impossible.

Emily was sitting on the porch in the old rocking swing, seeming almost to be waiting for her. She raised her hands and stood as soon as Bella came into view.

"Bella!" She called happily, jogging down the steps.

Bella stuffed her hands in her pockets, uncomfortable with such an overtly pleased greeting. "Hey," she said.

"Paul came back from Port Ange with bad news. Apparently the stuff that's going on there has leech written all over it," she panted excitedly as she approached.

Bella stopped by her truck in shock. "Oh, no. My dad went up there to help."

Emily reached out and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He'll probably be okay. It would draw too much attention to attack law enforcement. The people who have been disappearing are ones that wouldn't be missed: vagrants, homeless, street kids."

Bella took a deep breath and leaned her hip against the fender. "Yeah, I guess so."

"The guys are running some patrols to make sure that everything's clear on the Rez," Emily licked her lips. "But Paul and Jake – and even Sam – say you should stay on the Rez until they figure out what's going on; it might have something to do with that do with that redhead."

Bella's gaze wandered idly. Interestingly enough, Victoria seemed like a distant and amorphous threat in contrast to what was eating at her heart.

"You can stay with me, Bella," Emily offered.

Bella didn't acknowledge that she had even spoken. "So…" Bella cleared her throat. "P-Paul is running patrols?"

"No, I think he went home to rest," Emily frowned. "He looked pretty strung out. I think he left his car again and ran back."

Bella nodded absently. Her body was moving to door of the cab without her even thinking about it. She pulled it open and climbed into the seat, ignoring Emily's blinking, slack-jawed bewilderment.

"B-Bella, you shouldn't leave," Emily stammered, holding the door. "Wait a sec and one of the guys can go with you - if you want to pick up some things from home or whatever," she guessed.

Bella wordlessly leaned over and fetched her keys from the glove compartment, her movements precise, controlled. She slipped them into the ignition and then turned and met Emily's worried gaze with an impassive, steady stare.

"I'm not leaving the Rez," she whispered.

Her brow furrowed in concern, Emily's hand dropped from the door and she took a step back, her eyes running over Bella's uncharacteristically stoic expression.

Swallowing thickly, Bella closed the door with a _thunk_ and started the engine.


	14. Chapter 14 Mine

**'**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14- Mine<strong>

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella pulled up the emergency brake and turned off the engine. For several minutes she stared over the steering wheel at the house in front of her. In the cloudy early dusk, with its broken front window, the building looked dark and somehow forlorn.

_Paul. She __needed__ to see him._

Taking a deep breath she turned the old chrome handle. She slipped down from the truck and closed the door softly behind her. With each step toward that house it surprised her that her shoulders relaxed, her breath evened out, and a calm descended over her like a translucent veil. She had expected the polar opposite.

She jogged up the squeaky steps and then stood indecisively at the door. _Should she knock?_ It seemed silly when you were talking about a werewolf who probably heard her coming half a mile away.

In the end, she sided with tradition and rapped briskly against the unpainted wood.

_No answer. _

Maybe he had gone off patrolling after all. Or maybe he didn't want to see her.

_No, that was stupid._ That was her old insecure tapes playing. She smiled to herself when she realized she had caught herself at her own game.

Pressing her lips together in determination, she opened the door and stepped inside.

For a moment, all she could do was stare in shock: it was as if his entire house had been shredded into tiny pieces and swept neatly into a corner. She took another step inside and realized that that was exactly what had happened. Like a tornado had hit, all that was left was his chest of drawers – with his boots and hardhat eerily in the same neat position beside it – and his mattress, now on the floor. The rest was piled in large hulking mound by the bathroom door.

"Bella, you need to leave," Paul's low voice broke on the last word.

Her gaze snapped to where Paul was sitting on the edge of the mattress, shoulders slumped, head hanging, his arms resting listlessly on his thighs.

Bella closed the door behind her and licked her lips. "What happens if I don't want to?" she asked quietly, unable to keep the slight quaver from her voice.

He laughed humorlessly, a somber, hopeless sound.

Swallowing hard, Bella took slow, hesitant steps toward him through the dimly lit room. She had no idea what to expect; this was Paul after all.

But he merely sat there, hunched and dejected as she crossed the squeaky wood floor. As she neared him she saw that his entire body was trembling, muscles jerking and shivering violently.

Jogging the last few steps, she knelt before him. "Paul?" she murmured quietly as her unsure hands hovered.

He didn't look up.

_She __wanted__ to touch him._

So she did. Her fingers ghosted over his muscular arms, slick with perspiration, to delicately cradle his jaw. "Look at me," she whispered, gently urging his head upwards.

As he raised his face to her, Bella gasped. His eyes were tormented, bloodshot and wild. Tears drew two neat lines down the hollow of each cheek and something told her for certain that they were the first in many years. Maybe ever. Like his house, inside, he was ravaged. She realized in that moment just how hard this all was for him.

And that it had broken him, finally.

Her fingertips smoothed over his silky brows – desperately searching for that wry cunning hitch. She followed the tracks of his sorrow to trace his lips, pressing her thumbs against their fullness, trying to make them twist in that smirk that always seemed to be lurking just under the surface. All the while his dazed, empty eyes watched her face with detachment.

"Paul," Bella whispered, pressing both palms to his quivering cheeks. "It's too hard. Time. I-I don't want it anymore."

She leaned in and pressed her lips to his desperately as if trying to breathe life back into his lungs. She pulled away just enough for her tongue to dart out to catch his warm, salty tears. She trailed it back up to his eye and placed a kiss on the lid, and then did the same with the other side. His skin was salty and sweaty and rough with stubble, and something deep within her made her tongue want to lave each inch of it. So she did, following each tiny lick with a press from her lips.

Paul's shaking hands came up the back of her head, and guided her mouth back to his. This time he kissed her back; long, deep, sensual. As if his lips, his tongue, his very breath was desperately pulling her soul into him. Bella released it willingly.

Like a spark falling to a pool of gasoline, an instant rush of fire seemed to light Bella from the inside. Her arms wrapped around him tightly, pulling her body between his knees.

His hands splayed over her back and he groaned into her mouth.

"Oh, shit," he hissed as a tremor rippled through his body.

She breathed deeply through her nose against the almost violent impact of ardor, even while she pressed her body to his. She ripped her mouth away. "Slow," she gasped more to herself than anything. "I need it slow."

"Slow, mm," he mumbled into her neck as his mouth followed her pulse. "I'll try, babe. I'll try." And Paul's tongue traced the hollow of her neck and then nipped at her collarbone making her see bright shooting stars.

Paul sat up more and his large hands held her ribs as he nipped down her torso through her shirt, making her squirm. By the time he got to her stomach where his nose rooted under the hem of her shirt, she realized he was holding her off the floor. His tongue darted out to trace a circle of fire around her navel.

Bella gasped and arched in his hands at the feel of his mouth against her skin, her every cell crying for more.

But Paul pulled away.

With a squeak of dismay, she looked down to see him watching her carefully, that shrewd twist to his lips and the astute twinkle back in his eye.

He lowered her down to his eye level. "Are you sure about this, little girl? You know what you're getting yourself into, right?"

Bella licked her lips and nodded. "You, right?" She had been thinking about it all day. About Paul.

He smiled darkly. "Think you can handle it?"

Bella paused, then nodded with a tentative smile.

"Good, because I'm seriously not fucking able to stop," he murmured in a whisper.

In one shockingly fast movement he had her flipped over on her back in the center of the mattress and his body pressed over hers. His mouth crushed hers with an unabashed covetousness. For just a moment Bella was frozen, but like ice cream in coffee her surprise and uncertainty melted quickly into creamy, sticky want. Bella's lips parted so that she could suckle that velvet tongue into her mouth, while she felt her hum of desire reverberate in her teeth.

Like a skin diver coming up for air, Paul broke the kiss with a long inhale. "Slow. We're going slow," he gasped as if reminding himself and then rained kisses down her jaw over her neck again.

As his lips reached that sensitive spot over her pulse, she moaned and pushed up against him. Paul growled and drew her skin into his mouth, sucking fervently. Bella's eyes rolled into the back of her head as that delectable ache stoked a slow burning pressure deep inside her.

"Paul," she heard her own voice moan, husky, aroused.

"_Mine_," Paul hissed darkly. "Baby, you're **mine**."

Bella heard the rip of cloth. Her eyelids fluttered open to see his smoldering eyes inches from hers. "Sorry 'bout the shirt, babe. It has to go… _now_." There was another rip, and her chest was pressed to his –skin to skin. Bella sucked in a sharp breath of ecstasy at the sensation: satin on silk, warm and smooth and... _Oh, God._

Paul looked down at her with a wickedly delighted smile and rubbed his body up and down hers. Slowly.

His hips seemed to fall into position between her legs on their own and his movements transformed into thrusts as his bare arm snaked behind her back. Paul's eyes rolled in his head once and he groaned, pressing his face into Bella's neck while his body continued to pump against her.

She arched against him, bringing her legs around his waist, pressing him frantically to her with her heels. She was going to explode!

"Oh, God… _please_," she cried hoarsely.

And Paul stopped.

He picked his head up and eyed her with passion-clouded, but mischievous eyes. "Oh, no. We're taking it slow remember?" he chuckled richly; all hot fudge brownie with syrup.

Paul laughed at her frustrated squawk and placed a repentant kiss on her lips before he turned his attention to what had been almost as distracting as how few layers of cloth were actually between him and where he _really_ wanted to be: those pert little nipples - dragging over his skin with every push against that tiny hot body.

He slid down her and took a deep breath between those two perfect white mounds and then pounced on a rosy little nub. He sucked it into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue while his fingers counted her ribs, feeling chill bumps raise in their wake. She squirmed and jerked below him and his wolf growled deep in his throat with pleasure. And then he took the other.

When she was quivering under his touch, he traced the edge of her ribcage with his tongue, nipping and chuckling at her giggles as his hands started working at the button and zipper of her jeans.

"I'll spare your pants, babe, if you help me take them off. Quickly," he threatened in a murmur against her belly button.

Bella complied, her hands coming down to help push them down over her wiggling hips.

Paul's hands hooked under that band of her panties and brought them along with them too, shucking them off in one smooth move and turning the legs of the jeans inside out as he threw them haphazardly over his shoulder.

His hungry eyes followed his palms up smooth shapely calves, over long creamy thighs until he realized Bella's body had stopped quivering and had gone still. His gaze snapped up to her rounded eyes, her hands held up by her shoulders, fingers nervously balled into fists.

He dropped his chest to her thighs and slowly pushed up her body, letting the sultry feel of skin on skin remind her why she wasn't afraid. He stopped when he was right at those perfect strawberry lips.

"You're fucking gorgeous, babe," he rasped - because she was – and he pressed his mouth to hers in a tender kiss, smiling in satisfaction when she melted so easily against him. "Just wanted to make sure you knew that," he murmured into her mouth and then he broke the kiss.

He pulled back and looked into those brown eyes that were so dilated they looked black and he scooted to the side as he brought his fingers down to roll a nipple between them. She sucked a breath through her teeth, her entire body erupting in chill bumps, and Paul smiled. _Fuck, she was absolutely edible._

He ducked down to graze over the shell of her ear with his teeth as his hand strummed over her skin casually oh, so casually sneaking its way down to that apex between her thighs that was like a magnet to his every sense.

She made a soft sound in the back of her throat. He glanced up at her face to make sure it was the right kind. Her eyes were heavy and half-mast, her lips enticingly parted, the tip of her tongue running daintily over her front two teeth; he decided it was.

_Oh, God, what a sexy face_.

His fingers gently massaged her inner thighs, and stroked around her pelvis and Bella's thighs magically opened.

Bella gasped along with him as his fingers stroked her, delicately exploring that nest of creamy warmth. He found the little pearl and stroked an exacting finger over it. He was rewarded by a low, sultry moan.

"Shit, babe," he groaned as he collapsed on a nipple. She was going to drive him mad, he was sure of it.

He massaged and dipped until Bella was arching off the mattress with open-mouthed pants. He couldn't stand it anymore. He slipped down her body.

He _needed_ to taste her.

His focus was 200% on that little swatch of brown hair, when her body tensed again. He looked up sharply to her staring back at him with something akin to distress.

"Little girl, don't you be shy with me." He gave her his best roguish smile – the one that always seemed to melt her the best. "The thing about us wolves is, we love to lick things. And I want to, _so bad_." He couldn't keep the desperation out of his voice.

His wolf purred happily in his throat because it was true, and because those creamy thighs relaxed just enough that he could settle between them.

He pressed his nose into those damp curls and drew in a deep blissful breath.

_Ahh, her scent_. The cloying sweetness that could only be Bella, arousal, _mate_…_mine_.

His wolf whined in pleasure and he lapped at her wetness greedily before the _man_ reigned that quivering tongue in for a little more exacting dexterity.

All too soon he could feel her peak beginning to roll over her. His hand seamlessly took over as he scooched up her body.

He wanted to be near her for this. Hovering over her, he looked deep into those impassioned eyes and made her hold his gaze with his intensity. She tried so very hard to comply, but her eyes crossed slightly and unfocused when she came, her body convulsing with her breathy moan. Paul slipped two fingers inside her, feeling her body rhythmically squeeze him and he pressed through her barrier on a wave of her high.

As he had hoped, her sharp cry of pain was dulled into groan of pleasure, but her eyes snapped to his, suddenly alert and seeing. He bent to kiss her lips. "All done with that part, babe," he smiled into her huge guileless eyes.

She _trusted_ him, he suddenly realized. She trusted him _completely_ and like that first slap, it made him blink against the sudden burn in his eyes.

It was a very different type of burn.

He pressed his lips to hers a little longer this time.

Bella could feel his fingers still moving inside of her, pushing and stretching. _Oh, it felt so good._ That pinch of pain had melted into the warmth of absolute pleasure; a drug far too intoxicating to be legal she decided. She ground her hips against his hand feeling the tail of another wave she just might be able to catch if she…

Paul broke the kiss and his fingers receded. "Not yet, little girl. Save that one for me," he crooned huskily by her ear.

She turned and squinted her eyes at him saucily, just because she wanted to and because she felt so _very damn good_.

He chuckled and ran his nose over her cheek, panting softly. "Bella, I'm sorry, but you don't have to look… I just… I _have_ to," he murmured against her skin.

Bella pulled back with a confused furrow to her brow.

Paul grimaced apologetically and then his attention snapped to his hand with a feral intensity.

She followed his gaze and saw his long fingers – and hand - were covered in glistening crimson blood. _Hers_.

She watched Paul's face as he drew in a breath through his nose and his eyelids fluttered blissfully. He brought his hand to his lips and his tongue darted out to lick sensuously up his fingers. Over and over he lapped, while a growl rumbled deep in his chest, vibrating against her body. It was somehow dark and erotic and very, very primal and - as much as her mind rebelled against it - it made between her legs throb with aching need. Bella was good with weird after all.

Paul turned back to regard her with a glowing wildness to his eyes and a satisfied smirk to his lips.

"You're not getting away with this," Bella complained cryptically.

Paul's face lost its practiced control to surprise for just a moment. And Bella pushed him over on his back, rolling with him so she was on top. With a victorious giggle, she nuzzled his rough chin and then bit it. _She bit it!_ He purred in response and she realized it must not be such a strange thing to do after all.

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes, suddenly feeling rather timid in the face of her brave assertion. "Um, your pants are still on and… that's not fair," she said quietly, her hesitant tone robbing the statement of all its originally intended indignation.

Paul looked at her with his lips pressed in a straight line like he was trying to smother a laugh and his hands came to smooth her hair back along both sides of her head. "Babe, you're _awesome,_" his face broke into a smile and pulled her in for a kiss.

Bella got lost in his lips, as his hands roamed down her bare back holding her to him. Her own fingers crept over his slick sculptured chest, down the line down the middle of his tensed washboard abs. She tore her face away to see what she was touching.

_Damn, he was freaking gorgeous_!

With a glance up to his amused expression, Bella closed her eyes and ran her nose over his stubbly jaw down his neck. She could feel his hot pulse pounding frantically against his skin.

She licked it.

_He sighed_.

She bit him and suckled hard.

_He moaned._

With a smile at such an accomplishment she moved her attention to those perfect pecs, smooth and toned. She ghosted her lips over his skin until they came upon a small dark nipple. This time she followed her instinct and took it in her mouth. Her tongue circled the little bead-like shape and Paul sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. She played with it until his muscles were quivering and then she moved to the other.

From there, she rubbed her cheek over his stomach and ribs, watching the chill bumps rise from his skin. She made him feel good; that thought gave her a sense of deep satisfaction and courage and so she moved lower.

Her tongue stopped at the waistband of his shorts, but her hands continued on, gently and tentatively running her hands over the rock-solid shape underneath.

Paul shuddered at her touch. But Bella was too distracted to notice. She had seen him last night, but to feel him was an entirely different matter.

_How the hell was that going to fit?_

As if sensing that thought, Paul pulled her back up his body and captured her lips again with his own. All trepidation fell away to the incinerating heat stoked by that mouth and his slow, sumptuous tongue. When she had relaxed back to jelly in his arms he pulled away. "Sorry, babe. We can play another time. I can't wait anymore."

Bella's body went still.

"Do you want to be on top?" he asked with quiet intensity, pointedly ignoring her wide eyes. With a quick jerk of his arm, there was the sound of rending cloth.

Bella glanced down in surprise to see his shorts shredded way from his body, his erection standing glorious and proud… and _freaking huge._ A finger came under her chin to turn his face back to his.

"Do you want to be on top, babe?" he asked again, this time through teeth gritted with the effort.

Bella swallowed, "I-I don't know what to-" she started, anxiety rising.

In an instant, Paul had flipped her over on her back and was looking down at her with that smirk of his. "Relax, little girl. Relax," he breathed as his mouth came down to drop kisses like honey over her lips. His hot, satin body pressed her into the mattress and Bella became boneless under his touch. He wiggled in between her legs.

"Mmmm," he hummed into her jaw as his lips again sought her neck. "_Mine_. Bella, you're _mine_." He growled as his mouth pulled at her pulse.

Bella gasped his name and arched into his succor, and Paul's hands pinched her nipples so hard she cried out with the pleasure and pain.

Paul picked his head up and looked Bella deeply in the eyes and brought his hand up and licked slowly up his palm. That hand traveled down between them and her eyes wanted to follow but were caught in Paul's predatory and possessive gaze.

The next thing she felt was a delicious pressure, right at the burning spot that was screaming for his touch between her legs. Paul adjusted his body over her, and began to push. Slowwwly. His hips pressed into her body with a patient and sumptuous rhythm that made her eyes close and her legs spread further apart.

She felt his body, smooth and hot, enter her own and her legs lifted to rest on his back to give him better purchase.

"There you go, babe," he murmured. "Just like that."

With several more strokes she gasped at the sensation. _So tight, so full._

Paul's body stopped its movement, every muscle trembling.

Bella let her head fall to the side as her hips tilted instinctively upwards. "More," she sighed breathily.

With a long low moan, Paul began his slow stoking rhythm until he was buried so deep inside her that he filled up her very soul.

Bella sucked in a shaking, open-mouthed breath and tilted her head back as if that could make more room in her body for him. "Paul," she gasped his name like a prayer.

"Bella," he groaned low and sultry. "'You okay?" he asked hoarsely, with a hitch to his breath.

She could only grunt her assent.

And he started to move. Slowly withdrawing and then, just as slowly pushing his full length back in. Again and again, at a such a luxuriant pace that the tension he incited became unbearable.

"Goddamn it, Paul. _Please_!" she whimpered.

With that entreaty he slammed deeply into her body. His own need took over in the unabashedly demanding thrusts into her. The pain was laced with a pleasure too sweet to be substantial and Bella's breath rose in a rapturous cry with her back arching and hips tilted for yet more.

They plummeted over the lip of that ardent wave and peaked together, Paul's low, throaty moan heralding the delectable seeping warmth inside her.

And then he was kissing her, all over her face, murmuring her name over and over and over.

She realized she had dug her fingernails into his back soundly, and smoothed over the dents in his skin. She brought her palms down to hold his face and looked into his eyes. They were dreamy and vulnerable and absolutely soul-rendingly gorgeous.

"Paul," she whispered.

He smiled. Not a smirk, not a cavalier raised brow –but a peaceful, soulful and glorious smile.

She wanted to keep looking at that tender and unguarded expression forever, but she could barely hold her eyelids open. "I-I feel so … tired," she mumbled with a thick tongue, too relaxed to be frightened by the sensation of having been drugged.

Nuzzling her jaw, Paul rolled over on his back, pulling Bella with him. "Me too, it's the mating bond settling, babe. We need to sleep," he mumbled as he pulled her head to his chest.

Bella couldn't think of any reason to resist the sudden drowsy exhaustion; her body was deliciously sated and she was splayed over the warm, smooth chest of her… of her _mate_.

Her lips curved as her eyelids fluttered closed.

_Mine_.


	15. Chapter 15 Interruptions

'

**Chapter 15 – Interruptions**

'

Paul's eyes popped open to the early light of full day. _Shit, he had slept all night?_ He felt disoriented and uncharacteristically lethargic. With a soft sniff, his arms automatically tightened around the warm, soft body draped over him.

_My Bella_. Mine. His wolf reminded him helpfully

A hum of pure scintillating pleasure laced Paul's satisfied sigh and his wolf laid back down to his slumber.

_This is what it used to feel like to be human_, Paul realized. He could feel the tremble of the cagey and vigilant power on the edges of his control - still quivering deep within his muscles – but it was the first time in over six months that he had woken up relaxed; not feeling like he had just been injected with a fucking equine dosage of steroids and speed.

_Shit, it felt good. _

_She__ felt good._

His gaze drifted down over where her hair was splayed wildly over his chest and her shoulders. His hand moved tentatively to push the whiskey curls away from her smooth, creamy cheekbone. Her face was totally peaceful and breathtakingly gorgeous in her repose.

Folding his arm behind his head, he sat up enough that his eyes could run over her body. In the fledgling light of day, her skin absolutely glowed. As if poured smooth and flawless like white chocolate from that shoulder hitched up under her chin, down the curve of her back, over that round little ass, down those long shapely legs – one of which thrown over his.

Her hand was tucked under his ribs and her foot curled around his calf. Possessively.

_Hers_.

_Fuck, yeah. _Paul felt heat surge through his body.

She stirred and made the sweetest little sound in the back of her throat and it distracted him from his throbbing balls. Paul stroked soothingly down her back and she settled again.

But a wave of anxiety rose up with the cold wash of reality. _What happens when she __does__ wake up_? What then?

Paul looked around his dingy, run-down cabin: two windows broken, none-the-less, and his crappy furniture shredded and swept into a pile (he'd had enough sense to do that at least before he left for Port Ange). This momentary respite from the wolf was gift he didn't even _begin _to know how to repay, much less the deep-seated satisfaction that came from the best and most fulfilling sex of his life.

What happens if Bella woke up and realized that he had nothing to give her in return – except himself – and that she had done what he had warned her not to do: chained herself to a fucking loser who would never amount to anything?

_Shit_! She hadn't even had any other lovers! She would probably always have some little doubt or –

Bella's hand reared up and collapsed clumsily on his face and it shocked Paul out of his increasingly racing, and morbid thoughts. Her fingers blindly fumbled over his features, sluggish and awkward, a finger accidentally poking into his nose on its way across his face.

Paul sniffled and chuckled, in spite of his earlier musings.

Her hand finally found what it was looking for apparently in his cheek, where she stroked her fingers over his cheekbone several times.

"Mwat's wrong?" she asked in a sleepy mumble, eyes still closed.

A slow smile pulled Paul's lips taut and forced out that foreboding sense of insecurity. "Nothing," he whispered and brought his arm from behind his head to wrap with his other around her.

"Liar," she grumbled and pushed up off of his chest.

She blinked sleepily at him and then looked around the room as if trying to get her bearings with a little smack of her lips. Her drowsy gaze returned to his with a small, lethargic smile. Wordlessly she collapsed heavily back on his chest with a groan.

Paul chuckled and rubbed his large hands over that smooth, silky back.

Bella nestled into him, throwing her leg over his more. But with a soft cry, she sucked in a breath and pulled back away.

Paul's hands stopped. "Sore?" he asked quietly, squeezing his eyes shut. Last night, he hadn't exactly taken it easy on her there at the end. He had tried so hard, but there was a point where he simply couldn't reign his body in.

Bella nodded timidly against him.

And then suddenly picked her head up and stared at him with fretful, wide eyes. Totally awake now, her lips quivered.

Paul's hands came to rest on her shoulders in concern.

Bella's mouth opened as if she would speak, but almost comically all that came out was a little strangled stutter in the back of her throat.

"What, babe?" Paul asked with a furrow to his brow.

"I-I'm not on the pill," she finally gasped, eyes huge as saucers.

_He knew that, he could smell her deliciously natural hormones._ Paul couldn't help the chuckles that bubbled up as he wrapped his arms around her. "A little late to be thinking about that now…"

Bella looked stricken. "B-but I'm not used to thinking about that stuff…" she stuttered frantically.

He rolled her quickly over onto her back. He _really_ shouldn't tease her like this. "Shh, don't you want to have my puppies?" he asked with a raise to his brow as his hand rubbed down over that flat stomach.

She blinked at him as if giving the question actually thought. "But n-not… _now_!" she squeaked, her anxiety rising. He had meant it as a joke, before he realized it wasn't. Paul had never in his life even _entertained_ the idea of having kids. _Ever_. Until now…

Her frantic eyes snapped his head back into the game. "Shh, babe. Nothing to worry about. You were just finishing fertile last Sunday," he soothed, a tender warmth in his voice as his gaze washed over her face in wonder. She hadn't said 'no'… she said 'not now.' _Holy Fuck!_

"And I don't have any kind of STDs… 'always used protection, and werewolves don't get sick with human stuff anyway." And he certainly hadn't wanted any "oops" in his string of one night stands and flings.

"How?" she asked with a comical squint.

Paul raised his brow. "How did I know?"

She nodded.

Paul tapped his nose with a wry smirk.

Bella rolled her eyes but relaxed under him and encircled his chest with her arms. Paul pressed his smile to those cherry pie lips. He was not prepared for the wave of unheralded ardor that crashed over him. Bella seemed similarly affected and her body arched up into what was meant to be a quick atoning kiss for his tease.

Paul gasped. It was more than just the bone-melting heat of their attraction, it was like he could _feel_ her, feeling him, feeling her…

Bella's tongue flirted in an undulating and seductive dance against his lips, and Paul accepted her beguiling invitation. Rolling more on top of her, his elbows held his full weight off her body and he suckled at that as honey mouth like he was ravenous. He suddenly was. All the pent up desire he had struggled so hard to control last night pulled him under like an exigent sucking undertow.

Bella pulled her lips away, gasping opened-mouthed, as her eyes rolled back with passion, and Paul dropped sumptuous, decadent kisses as thick and sweet as whipped cream over her jaw and neck, collar bone and shoulders. He could _feel her_. He could feel her _feeling him_. _Holy shit._

A jarring, jangly ring made him rip his lips away and his teeth tingle. There was a high-pitched tone about it that hurt his ears. He glanced around the room in annoyance and then down at Bella questioningly.

"My cell. It was in my back pocket," Bella moaned. "It's Charlie; I should have called him."

Wordlessly, Paul leaped off her and stalked the sound, finding her jeans easily and digging the offending thing out of her back pocket. He turned back around to see Bella sitting in the middle the mattress having gathered the sheets around her body and holding them up over those perfect breasts.

His mouth quirked in a smile and he strode back to the bed, flopping down on his stomach and handing her the phone. He rested his chin on his knuckles as he watched her push her hair behind her ear nervously and then flip it open.

"Hey, Dad," she said, and then shot a mortified grimace toward Paul as the man launched right into a tirade about not calling.

Paul found his mind wandering as they talked. His wolf was absolutely entranced with every little move, every expression, every nervous bite to those lips, every twist of her fingers in her hair. And Paul was too.

_Mine_. His wolf growled.

_Fuck, yeah_. The man agreed.

Paul's body was burning; they both wanted her again this morning. And again. And…

Bella snapped the phone shut and looked at it a moment and then set it down. Paul blinked and reached out a hand from under his chin to rest on her foot under the blanket. She didn't flinch.

Taking a deep breath, Bella looked up from under those long lashes of hers. "Can I borrow your shower?"

"Only if you bring it back," Paul flared his nostrils and tried not to smile.

Bella's lips twitched but stubbornly refused to acknowledge the bad joke. "And… maybe a shirt?" she asked timidly.

"Now, I don't know about that one. Seems a pity to cover up these perfect breasts like that," he mused soberly. His hand reached up to try to pull down the sheet, but Bella blushed and wrapped an arm around her chest.

"Now wait one minute there, little girl," Paul thundered raising up with a comic menace. He pounced on her, pushing her back to the mattress and she giggled. He nipped at her shoulders as his fingers found her ribs and he continued to growl playfully. She squirmed and squealed under his tickling touch.

"P-Paul," she gasped finally with a squeak.

Throwing himself down beside her, he watched her catch her breath: panting and flushed and happy. _Oh, God, it felt good to see her like that_.

He pressed his lips to hers softly. "You never have to feel shame with me, you know that right?" he whispered cryptically against her mouth. Because she didn't.

Bella's breath hitched and her body froze. Paul just nuzzled by her jaw, waiting.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so.." she swallowed with a little irritated sound.

Paul pulled back. "It's all new. We got a lot of time, little girl," he murmured, his face going serious. He wondered what she thought about that.

Bella rolled her eyes at herself and looked away from him, worrying her lip.

Paul tilted her face back with a finger. "Hey, I like that you are learning all this stuff with me. It's a stupid guy thing, but I really, _really_ like that I'm your first," he said huskily, dipping down for a kiss.

"And your last?" She surprised him by challenging quickly with a frown. _She had a pretty strong opinion about that._ It felt good.

"Oh, hell yeah, babe," his words melted from his lips as his eyes got lost in those milk chocolate orbs. Oh, fuck! Just being near her mouth was like being a tin man in front of an industrial electronic magnet. He pressed his lips again to hers longer this time, and again her body rose to meet him with the softest sigh.

With his inhuman strength though, he pulled himself off her, flopping on his back with a gasp. As crystal clear as it was to him that he wanted –_needed_ -her again _right now, _he also _knew_ that she needed a little time alone to process all this. He couldn't say how.

"Why don't you rinse off, babe, and then we can drive over to your place and you can grab up some of your stuff and take a real shower there," he suggested, propping his arms behind his head. "I don't have any shampoo or anything – just soap," he wrinkled his nose apologetically.

She nodded a stood up, pulling at the sheets stuck under him with a little stubborn grunt and then a playful scowl that made him chuckle and then roll over twice out of the way.

He watched her wrap the sheets more tightly around her and then glance over at him –draped shamelessly over the bed on his back. It had meant to be a glance only apparently, but her clearly flattering gaze got stuck. It drifted from his crossed ankles on upwards. He liked that she was so attracted to him that even her self-conscious unease couldn't disguise it.

He wiggled his eyebrows when she finally drifted up to his face. "Like what you see, babe?" he gave her a sultry smile.

Bella blushed but nodded shyly and Paul was pleased. _Progress_.

Without another word, she turned and shuffled to the bathroom and Paul sat up so he could see that pert little ass wiggle under the thin wrap of the sheet.

"Hey, Bella? Can I use your phone?" he called out, more just to see her face peek around the doorway of the bathroom one more time.

She did so, and he smiled at the little covert victory. She still had a flush ripening her cheeks.

"Sure, you don't have one?" she sounded genuinely perplexed.

"They don't make 'em wolf-proof enough for me, babe," he grumbled as he watched her shrug with a nod and disappear again.

He reached for her cell. He had crushed or hurled so many of them in a rage, that he had finally sworn off them entirely.

He called into work and asked for a few more days off – which was no problem. It was Sam's cousin's company and, not only did he know that Paul and Sam did "special stuff" for the Council, but he also recognized a good thing when he had one. A werewolf in construction? The perfect symbiotic relationship: his boss got unnatural strength and stamina, and Paul got a demanding physicality that was perfect for burning off rage.

But even if he'd have lost his job, he'd have done the same: Bella and he _needed_ time together right now.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

While Paul was in the shower, Bella dressed in her jeans and one of Paul's tee shirts – which was freakin' huge – and went out to the car to get her brush. She wandered back into the house, pulling the bristles through her wet, tangled hair, gazing around her thoughtfully. His place wasn't actually that bad. With some paint –_and, um, windows_ – and a few repairs it could actually be quite cozy. Bella pulled open the door while she imagined putting potted plants on the porch. Some ivy or something.

She worked through the tangles at the tips as she walked pensively around the huge empty room, trying to imagine it with a coat of paint and some furniture. There were some good thrift stores between here and Port Ange and…

She stopped herself. _Christ_! Was she thinking about, like, moving in with him? _What the hell_? Maybe there was some domestic side effect of imprinting after all!

She blinked and spun around the room once, disconcerted. No, it wasn't _that_ exactly. Bella was good at taking care of people – she took care of her mom, now her dad.

And Paul needed a home. There was something really significant about that somehow. She didn't know how she knew. She wasn't all Martha-Stewart like Emily, but she did like to have things comfortable around her. She could help him with that.

She sat down on the mattress and idly turned the brush over in her hands. But what about the moving in thing? It was suddenly very difficult to imagine being away from him for long periods of time, _like, overnight for instance_. She rolled her eyes at herself. _How weird_. She knew it must be the bond-thing, but it was such a natural part of her brain now, that she couldn't even _think_ of any reason that she _wouldn't_ want to spend every minute she could with him.

Her heart was certainly sure. But for her mind, it was kind of disconcerting do everything backwards like this. Usually people got to know each other, maybe moved in together for a little while, and _then_ decided to spend their lives together. But as odd as it seemed, the last part was not even up for idle speculation anymore. She could _feel_ him. She could _feel_ him in the other room – this subtle pull of energy like walking through a spider's web. She could _feel_ that he was a part of her now.

_Right here_, she thought as she closed her eyes and pressed the brush over her heart.

"What're you thinking about, Bella?" Paul asked softly.

Bella's eyes popped open to see that he had silently stolen from the bathroom - over these squeaky floorboards - to stand a few feet before her. She dropped her brush in chagrin and stood, wiping her hands on her jeans. Her gaze drifted over his glistening teak skin and perfect form – narrow hips wrapped in a contrasting snow-white towel and she was momentarily distracted from even the most basic use of the English language.

After a moment, she was able to tear her gaze away from that drop-dead gorgeous body and met his smile. "Well, before that body of yours sent a jolt of like a million megawatts through my puny human brain," she paused as he laughed freely, obviously pleased. Bella's smile melted into serious. "I was thinking that I can _feel_ you," she took a step forward and pressed her hand over her heart meaningfully.

Paul took the last step and pulled her into his arms. _She belonged there_.

"Is that so, little girl?" he murmured, running his nose over her hair.

She pulled her face back from where it had naturally pressed against his chest. "You don't feel it?" she asked, suddenly insecure.

"_Fuck yeah_, I feel it," his gaze was intense and absolutely sincere. "I feel it _bad_, babe."

Her head tipped back, she silently looked into his eyes for a long moment. "Mine," her mouth whispered of its own accord, trying out the word that she had only ever said in her head.

A slow smile bled deep into Paul's face. "Oh yeah. Definitely," he breathed as he leaned down toward her lips.

RIIIIINNNNNG!

Bella's phone shattered the silence yet again. Hands dropping to her sides with a frustrated huff. "What the hell! I _swear_ I never even _get_ calls on my cell!" She gave him an incredulous scowl.

Paul chuckled while she turned to scoop it up off the bed."You gotta change that ring though, babe; it hurts this wolf's ears."

She didn't recognize the number. "Hello?"

"Bella? It's Sam," a deep voice announced immediately, tense. "Is Paul with-"

"Yes I am," Paul called from where he was just pulling open one of his drawers.

With a snort, Bella handed him the phone and pulled her damp hair back, dividing it into thirds so she could plait it until she could wash it at home.

She absently pulled the long locks into a braid as she watched Paul's expression turn serious and severe. Unlike him, she couldn't hear what was going on at the other end over the conversation.

"Okay, well I was going to take her by her place to get some things first," Paul said as he cradled the tiny phone on his huge shoulder and pulled out a shirt. "Can I bring her over to Em after that?"

As she tied off her mid-back braid with the band in her jeans, Paul flipped the phone closed and tossed it on the mattress.

"They found a fresh leech trail on the edge of our territory a minute ago. They didn't want to send up the alarm, 'cause they're trying to track it. To see where it's going," Paul growled, as he pulled the shirt over his head. "Sam wanted to make sure you were with me – since you weren't with Jake," he looked up and smiled devilishly.

Bella blushed as her gaze fell to her feet.

He continued, "And to put me on the alert. I'm their best hit man," he crooned with a dark chuckle.

Bella collapsed down to sit on the mattress and twisted her hands in the hem of Paul's huge shirt. Why couldn't she just have a day to get her head on straight about all of _this_! She didn't want to think about Paul – or any of them – chasing after a vampire right now. _Or ever_.

She heard Emily's words: "it's only a small step to the killing frenzy needed to protect their people from an unnaturally powerful and terrifying enemy that really is – though they never admit it – on the very razors edge of their ability to defeat."

Bella shivered.

She could _feel_ his energy ramping up: like that ominous static electricity that prickles with the looming black thunder clouds on a summer's afternoon.


	16. Chapter 16 Take

'

16 – Take

'

It was a blustery spring day, the sky was painted with the heavy brushstroke of gray clouds and spitting rain. Bella asked Paul to drive back to her house, because she remembered how awkward it felt for him to stare at her for the whole trip down to the Rez yesterday – _just yesterday!_ – and because she, herself wanted to stare this time. She wanted to examine and begin to understand this man that she had just bound her heart to, and doing so when he was safely occupied, appealed to the paltry courage she could muster.

Paul drove with the same insouciant confidence with which he seemed to approach anything physical: his head was tilted slightly to the side, his eyes sharp looking up at the road from under his lashes, all with that ghost of a smirk hitching his lips up on the left side. One bare foot was propped up on the side of the truck, an arm resting cavalierly on the window sill, he steered, sure and casual, with one hand on the bottom of the wheel. Bella knew he saw her, but coolly let her stare at him without comment, only cutting those black steely eyes over to glance at her every mile or so. When he did so, his lips would soften infinitesimally.

In the tight black shirt and cutoffs - and with that intensity - he oozed competence and male; all unrefined blackstrap molasses, rich and bitter and sweet. He was striking.

And he was _hers_.

He shifted his posture and hands on the wheel, his right hand traveling seamlessly over to rest on her ankle, where she had pulled it up on the seat. The touch made her body hum.

"'You okay?" his voice rumbled, without taking his eyes from the road.

"Mm hm. I'm just watching," Bella murmured cryptically, because it was true. And because that hum in his fingers felt sticky and languid and reminded her of their dark chocolate sex; she was relaxed and warm.

As if sensing this, he turned and looked at her full on, his sensuous lips stretching into a provocative smile. "Watch away," he purred, low in his throat.

Bella's heart stuttered.

Paul chuckled.

"I heard that," he whispered as he unerringly turned –even while still holding her gaze – into her own driveway.

Bella blinked and sat up: the sight of her house instantly snapping her out of his hypnotic allure.

While Paul jerked up the brake, Bella pushed open the door and slipped to the ground. As she crossed in front of the hood though, she felt a tingle up her spine. Instinctively, she turned to see Paul creeping along the side of the truck toward her with a playful but predatory prowl.

With a laugh and a squeak, she ran down the walkway, frantically clambering up the steps, but predictably tripping at the top.

Her hands splayed desperately out in front of her to catch a fall that never came.

Like lightning, a sure, strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back against a solid chest. Puffs of warm moist laughter burst over the nape of her neck as Paul's hot lips followed it with a kiss.

"You're going to test these reflexes, aren't you?" Paul murmured behind the shell of her ear, as he carried Bella across the porch, her feet dangling off the ground. He set her down by the door, and handed her her keys.

Bella turned around and looked up thoughtfully at the man towering over her - even without shoes he had over a foot on her at least. Paul's hand came out to push back a stray wisp of hair that had escaped the braid in this breeze.

"I don't want you to be in any danger," Bella blurted suddenly, realizing this thought had been bothering her, simmering below the surface all along.

"It's what I do, babe," he replied quietly not missing a beat, smoothing his large hand over the side of her hair. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I don't want you in any danger, _more_."

Furrowing her brow, Bella bowed her head with a deep breath and turned to fit the key into the lock. Like living with a soldier or … a cop, she guessed eventually she'd have to acc–

Faster than she could blink, Bella was slammed into wall right inside the front door, just hard enough to take her breath away. A vicious snarl ripped from Paul's throat from where he was crouched in front of her. In one swift scan, he took in the entire downstairs as he lifted his chin to sniff the air.

"Don't move," he hissed in a voice that sounded like a cross between human and animal, and he soundlessly bounded up the stairs.

From upstairs in her bedroom, Bella heard a rabid hiss answered by a snarl and punctuated by something heavy hitting the ground. She could hear shattering glass both inside and out, and she picked her head up off the wall to look out the open doorway. A ghostly white figure streaked impossibly fast across the lawn followed closely by a huge grey wolf –eerily silent - tearing after his prey.

Bella hugged herself and backed slowly into the house, watching the tree line where the wolf and vampire had disappeared. She realized suddenly that her body was trembling, her jaw quivering so hard that her teeth clacked together. Closing her mouth soundly, she turned around at looked at the empty house, silent and dream-like the rainy morning light.

Needing something to do, Bella strode into the kitchen to the little alcove for the washer and dug through the laundry. In the dryer, she found a pair of her father's oversized knit gym shorts that he wore to sleep and pulled them out, hugging them to her chest. A long howl in the distance, joined by others, made her run back into the living room. Her feet stopped by the couch, as she looked furtively out into the yard that was now hazy with drizzle.

And Bella waited.

The misting rain turned to sharp taps against the window panes in the kitchen, hemmed by the hollow drip of the faucet leaking into a pan she hadn't washed. Bella swallowed and tried to still her trembling by wrapping her arms around the shorts tightly against her chest.

Then, through the trees, a huge gray wolf came loping into view, its fur muddy and wet. It trotted up the walkway and then shook out its pelt and leaped up the stairs. When its hind legs touched the porch Paul straightened, gracefully transforming as he took an upright position. His eyes were locked on her, black and wild, as he strode into the house. He stalked across the threshold and closed the door with an exacting movement of his wrist and headed again for the stairs.

"H-Here," Bella called tossing the shorts toward him. He caught them mid air without so much as a consideration as he disappeared back upstairs.

Bella leaned against the couch and she waited.

No more than a minute passed before he slipped like a shadow back into the living room, the black shorts of her father's stretched tight over his massive thighs and low around his hips. He stood at the foot of the stairs and stared at her with those piercing and livid eyes, his jaw muscles so tense that the tendons stood out on his neck. There was an odd, gravelly sound coming from him, and she realized it was the sound of his grinding teeth. His entire body was shaking violently.

Bella pushed off the couch. "Paul, are yo-"

"It was in your room," Paul interrupted, spitting the words through clenched teeth.

Bella licked her lips and froze.

"D-Did y-you get it?" she stuttered.

"Slowed it down, Paul growled, his words oddly clipped. "Pack's taking care of it. Needed to come back."

Bella nodded slowly - he was upset and talking wasn't going to make it better. She could _feel_ him. _Feel_ his incinerating rage bubbling beneath his skin as if it were loosening the flesh so it could melt from his body. He was craving violence in the worst way. She was frightened.

"You could have been there," he choked as he took several slinking steps toward her. Fists closed, every muscle taut, his breath was heaving against the vibrations in his body.

Reflexively, Bella took a corresponding steps back and a low growl rumbled deep in Paul's chest.

_Don't run, _the thought was as clear as if he had spoken it.

Bella stopped and swallowed thickly and tried to let her quivering hands relax to her sides.

"I can't l-lose y-y.." he stammered, the words getting caught in his throat as Paul continued to prowl toward her.

Bella bit her lip, resisting the overwhelming instinct to flee from that rage. His eyes were on fire, yellow and rabid and his breath dragged labored and panting from deep in his chest.

He circled around her once in a slow slinking prowl and then a soft heartbreaking whine slipped out with one of his ragged exhales.

Bella suddenly she realized that underneath that rage was a bone-breaking pain; the thought that she could have been in danger …or worse…was unbearably excruciating for him.

E_specially right now. After the bonding. He didn't know how to handle it._

The problem was, she didn't either. And he _needed _something. He needed something from _her_. And Bella yearned to give it - she wanted to give him peace.

_Feel, don't think, _she heard Emily's words.

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. She smelled him – sweat and rain and violence. She felt his heat, radiating over her cheeks. She heard his breath rasping uneven through his nose. She felt _him_. Miserable, consumed with rage, beside himself with fear and worry for his mate, incinerating on the inside…Paul. _Mine_.

Reaching up a blind hand, her palm immediately came in contact with his heaving chest. His heart was beating against his ribs like a sledgehammer. Tipping her face up Bella opened her eyes and met that fierce, smoldering gaze.

"You kept me safe," she whispered.

Those animal eyes flickered and he blinked.

He _needed_ something from her, she could _feel _it. _Damn it_, why didn't she know what he needed?

Or…_maybe she did._

Bella tipped her chin up a little more and then delicately snaked her hand up to trace that rock-solid jaw, slipping the other up to wrap around that corded neck. She licked her lips, her eyes darting between his, and inhaled slowly.

"I'm _yours_," she breathed with her exhale.

Like a dam breaking his mouth crashed into hers with pure lust as his arms snapped around her like a steel trap, one hand wrapping tightly in her long braid.

Bella's surprise was quickly razed by the torridness of his passion and as he lifted her up his body, she wrapped her legs around him. Her mouth mirrored her fingers - desperate and searching, trying to capture his lips that were placing wet, ravenous kisses all over her neck and face. Bella knew he was out of control; but as frightening and overwhelming as it was, it was also fervently erotic.

_He would never hurt her._

Paul stumbled across the room and they crashed into the wall, his arm bracing Bella against the impact even while he held her hips to him.

Bella's hands finally twisted into the longer hair on his crown – she needed his mouth! She pulled his face frantically to hers sucking his tongue into her mouth with a rabid sensuality.

Paul groaned and pressed her to the wall firmly, shoving a thick thigh up between her legs. His hands ran rough and possessive over her curves, clinging to her thighs up over her breasts where his fingers tugged on her straining nipples through the shirt.

Bella arched against the wall with a cry of both pleasure and a flickering of pain and her hands fell down to his shoulders where they zealously dug into his sweat and rain-slick muscles with her fingernails.

Paul was nipping down her pulse with little urgent grunts. He tore the shirt with his teeth and then laved her collar bone with a rough tongue, bending down and tearing the shirt further to suckle fiercely at her breasts with a humming purr in the back of his throat.

Bella was burning. Inside, outside, _everywhere_. She felt the searing desire and desperation in him and amplified it back tenfold, only to have it reflected back like an infinite feedback loop culminating in undeniable consummate need.

"P-Paul," she gasped her entreaty with a shriek.

His hands came between them and tore her jeans like they were the consistency of wet newspaper, not denim. Bella hummed in approval.

And then he was pushing inside her. Holding her hips in an iron grip, in three brisk strokes, he was buried to the hilt in her body.

Bella threw her head back with a thud against the wall and groaned with the shock…pressure…ache.. _bliss_.

But this time, Paul didn't stop.

Paul's lips dragged over Bella's exposed throat with a low, aching moan, and then his forehead hit the the wall by her ear.

The restraint of his body last night had been razed by both fear and rage this morning and he pumped into her with raw and unfettered need.

"_Giveit. Now. God. Need. Fuck. Mine. Shit_. _Fuck_." Each thrust was punctuated by a senseless curse grunted into her shoulder.

The hold of his grip and the pure deleterious pleasure of it made Bella unable to move, gasping frantically, head back, open-mouthed.

It was a rough and furious coupling and Bella's peak was equally impassioned - violently shattering her world, the aftershocks making her entire body convulse in Paul's vice-like grasp.

With the next breath, Paul slammed her against the wall with a teeth-grinding growl, as his hot essence exploded within her.

_Silence. _

Slowly sound seeped back into Bella's periphery from the mind-numbing aftermath of such sensual overwhelm: the rain pattering on the windows, the constant, patient drip in the sink, their breaths harsh and ragged, the syncopation of their racing hearts.

Bella peeled her eyes open slowly and picked her head up off the wall. The soft light of the overcast day glistened on the sweat beaded on Paul's shoulder and brow as he heaved against her.

"Oh, my God," she heard him whisper, with a frightening hollowness.

Bella turned her head and tried to see his face.

Paul swallowed audibly and slowly his fingers loosened on her hips, sliding out of her body and staggering half a step back.

Gingerly unwrapping her legs from around his waist, she slid to the ground, her fingers searching for his cheekbones, his lips, his _eyes_ - turned away from her.

_Something was wrong: he was sad, afraid._

"Bella, are you okay?" Paul's voice was flat and broke like crystal on concrete.

Bella licked her lips, not really trusting her own voice. "Yes," she whispered.

"_Oh my God_," Paul fell to his knees in front of her.

She desperately tried to tip his face up to hers but he shook her off and wrapped his arms around her waist pressing his face between her breasts. "I'm so sorry, Bella. Oh my God. Are you okay- Shit, I-"

Bella had no idea what to say as she wrapped her arms worriedly around his quivering shoulders. She could _feel_ his desolation.

_And self-loathing._

"It's _all true_, Bella," his anguished voice was hoarse and hot against her breastbone. "I-I'm a …I'm just…I'm a..I…"

His shoulders seized into convulsive sobs as his mouth smothered his eerie, choking keening against chest.


	17. Chapter 17 Practice

'

**17 – Practice**

'

_What the hell had I done?_

"Paul," Bella's voice was hushed as her hands combed through Paul's short hair frantically. "Paul, please. Everything's okay. I'm okay…Y-you didn't-"

Paul's hand came around from where he held the trembling woman to him and gently stilled her lips with his fingertips. He didn't want to hear her excuses for him. Not right now.

He had lost control and it confirmed his own worst fears. It had been only her second time, and he'd violently taken her against the wall – denying everything but own body's raw need – like some mindless animal. _Like the monster he was._

He'd have killed another man for that in a second, no questions asked.

But now? Now he was crying like a baby in her arms. He _never_ cried. _Ever_. He hadn't even shed a tear in his life that he could remember… until last night. _Until Bella_.

He had no control when it came to her: his desperate, immutable need for her, his unquenchable craving for what she offered, the pure attraction and lust made him even more unbalanced than he already was. And she wasn't some cell phone that could be replaced if he squeezed it too hard.

Tender fingers crept along his jaw, pleading with his chin to lift. "P-Please," she whispered, her voice quavering. "Please, Paul."

He couldn't possibly refused such a heartbreaking entreaty. He lifted his tear-stained cheeks and met her gaze, so poignantly humiliated by his weakness, that it was physically painful to do so.

Bella's eyes were shining with worry, her pupils dilated black. Her gaze washed over his face, assessing.

"Paul," she breathed and lowered her face to his.

He expected a kiss, but instead she rubbed a cheek over his, slowly. First one side, then the other. Sharing his tears, his sorrow, his pain. It was such an intimate gesture that his heart stuttered.

_I don't deserve her, _the thought throbbed deep and aching in his soul.

Her hands came to hold his cheeks and she looked down into his eyes. Her lips parted as if to speak, and again his finger came to rest against their rosy softness.

"Not now," Paul whispered hoarsely.

_Not ever_. He was terrified of exposing the dark morass of his inner world. No one could see that. No one.

He stood slowly, pulling the waistband of his shorts over the shameless erection he still held for her, and his hands slipped to cup her jaw with a delicate gentleness as if that touch could atone for his previous transgression.

"Why don't you take a shower. We need to get to Sam and Emily's," he said quietly, bending down to press his lips to her hairline. _She was so very tiny._

Bella looked up, her eyes darting between his uncertainly. When she finally she nodded, he released her.

But her first teetering step on the bottom stair saw her flinch and had him scooping Bella into his arms before he could even think about it. He took the steps easily three at a time as he cradled her small frame against him, his lips pressed together in shame.

He set her down in her bedroom where she surveyed the mess with dismay. The bed had been thrown to the side, when Paul had launched across the room at the leech. Books had all fallen from the tipped shelf on the far wall, and the window was shattered with glass littering both inside and out from the marble body of the creature fleeing through it.

"My dad's coming back for the funeral tomorrow," Bella murmured hollowly.

Paul met her unfathomable gaze. "I'll have it fixed by then."

Bella nodded and then with a sniffle, wiped her nose on the torn shirt hanging off her thin shoulders.

"Go take a shower, babe," Paul whispered, the turmoil within him so complex and roiling that he didn't even understand why his eyes burned.

With a curt nod, Bella turned and left the room.

While the shower whispered across the hall, Paul numbly picked up every last shard of glass and put it in her small plastic trashcan. He righted the shelf, replaced the books, and rearranged the bed, and picked up every shred of cloth from his clothes. The room still smelled sickeningly of leech. But underneath that, was Bella's sweet but settled honey scent…

and underneath that…Jacob.

A choking flash of jealousy surprised him and Paul pinched the bridge of his nose, and collapsed heavily on the edge of her bed. Jacob would have been so much better for her: he was kind, simple, easy going – a little lazy – but happy.

Paul was such a selfish bastard, that he didn't even care – as long as he got to keep her.

The shower had been turned off long ago and the door finally opened. Bella crossed the hall, drying off her hair with one towel, her body wrapped tightly in another, tucked just into itself just over her breasts. Paul's eyes snapped to the bruises his mouth had left on her neck – his marks. The sick thing is, both he and his wolf relished seeing them there – an undeniable sign against that creamy skin. _Mine_.

More disturbing, however, were the red nipping teeth marks over her collarbone, disappearing under the towel that hid more shameful evidence of his disgrace.

"C'mere, Bella," he asked quietly.

Bella looked up from where she was toweling off the ends of her long, auburn curls – which looked teak when they were wet – and her two pearly teeth bit the bottom of a lip that was still swollen from his ravishment. Dropping the towel she held, she walked with slow curious steps toward him, swinging her hair over her shoulder as she met his gaze.

Paul wrapped his arms around the small of her back and pulled her the last step between his legs, and rested his forehead on hers. Her touch instantly soothed his ravaged soul and he released a heavy sigh.

But he wanted to see what he had done to this delicate body. _Needed_ to. Pulling back, his fingers crept up to where the towel was tucked.

Bella blanched and took half a step back.

_Shit. She's afraid me again. As she should be,_ he thought glumly as he closed his eyes and let his hands drop to his thigh.

"No. I'm not afraid of you, Paul," Bella corrected tersely as if he had spoken his thoughts aloud.

Paul's eyes popped open in shock. _Holy shit._

Bella's brow however was drawn in flagrant consternation. "I'm _worried _about you!"

Paul's gaze darted over her face, speechless.

She pressed her lips together. "And - _if you haven't noticed_ – I'm a little ashamed of my body," she snapped sarcastically, even while a blush ripened her cheeks. "I hate my body. I mean, look at you! You're perfect… but me? I'm pasty and plain and skinny… I don't have any kind of curves really – except my fat butt – and I'm just… _ugh_…"

With that she dramatically ripped off the towel around her and threw it on the floor petulantly with a huff. She faced him down in the nude with her hands on her hips and a challenging stare that contained a complex mixture of fire and humiliation.

Paul blinked. He felt like he had emotional whiplash: he was vacillating between desire and reverence for such beauty, amusement at her hot-tempered impetuousness, appreciation for her braving discomfort for him…and disgust at the bruising on her hips that matched the shape of his hand perfectly.

The quiver in her lip, razed all of those thoughts. Paul's long arms wrapped around her and pulled her to him. He kissed her with all the tenderness and affection in his entire being and then pulled back and looked in her eyes.

_She needed to understand this_.

"Bella… you're _beautiful_. I mean like fucking-jaw-dropping, can't-keep-my-hands-off-you, could-look-at-you-all-fucking-day beautiful. And it's not just me. Believe me, I've seen more than I've wanted to in the Pack mind –not just Jacob." Paul automatically growled at the thought and his lip lifted up, baring his canines reflexively.

Bella blushed deeper and her gaze dropped, uncomfortably.

"I don't know how to say this so you'll understand…I mean you know I've been with other women…" he began.

She tensed in his arms.

"But no one holds a candle, babe," he breathed sincerely and then smiled as she looked up in surprise. "Not even a tiny little half-assed crappy birthday candle," he smirked.

She laughed and he hugged her to his shoulder. "What you do to me, little girl… it shouldn't be legal. In fact, I don't think it is." He murmured by her ear as his dick throbbed in agreement.

Paul pulled back before all his blood flow got sucked down into his crotch … again.

He looked into her eyes as his palms held her shoulders and gently urged them back. "Now, let me see, Bella. Please. I just want to see what I.." he couldn't complete his sentence as his fingers ghosted down over her breasts where red marks bled into shadows of bruises. His eyes followed his hand intently down to her hips where he had held her much too fiercely. Gently he urged her around to see the continuation of the marks his fingers left. He traced her spine to the bruise across her back from being knocked against a wall with the force of his thrusts.

Paul collapsed his face against her shoulder blades. "I'm sorry," he whispered over her skin.

Bella turned around and grabbed his face. "I'm not!" she assured him resolutely, her eyes indignant. "Look Paul, I bruise easy – this stupid white skin. And I _know_…" she grabbed his hand and pressed it over his heart meaningfully. "I _know_ -just like I can hear you in my head and feel you inside my body now- I _know_ you will never hurt me." She looked deep in his eyes. "But even without all this crazy stuff…I trust you. I do. Not some stupid imprint thing or whatever_. Me, Bella…__I trust you_."

Paul's eyes darted between her unflinching and guileless gaze. She _trusted_ him? No one had ever done that before.

How could she trust him, when he didn't even trust himself?

"We need to get going," Paul said quietly, turning from her. He heard Bella sigh in frustration.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

They pulled up to Emily and Sam's house an hour or so before lunch. Bella stole another furtive glance toward the stoic man in the passenger's seat.

Without a word, he slipped out the door. Bella pulled out the key and tossed it into the glove compartment and turned to do the same.

Paul already had the driver's side open and was holding out his hand. Wearing only her father's tight shorts with her back pack slung over his shoulder from the back of the truck, he looked like some kind of college swimsuit model. She smiled in spite of herself.

"I got it," Bella mumbled around her grin as she slid to the ground.

Paul had insisted on carrying her back down the stairs at her house. Though she had objected on principle, she also hadn't minded all that much – she _was_ a little sore. Mostly it was the muscles in her inner thighs which wasn't used to splaying open so eagerly, nor holding a man to her so ardently. It was actually pretty good exercise, Bella discovered.

But she was slightly uncomfortable other places as well, so she wore a long flowing skirt and a tank top under a loose knit sweater.

The mirror in her bathroom this morning had reflected back someone who she barely recognized. A _woman_, not a girl. And a woman who had been loved well – Paul's bathroom mirror was too small and too high to see the dark marks on her neck. They wouldn't be disappearing anytime soon, and oddly enough Bella found that she really didn't mind._ Funny_.

She'd probably change her opinion on that when she went back to "real life" with school and… her dad.

As they crossed the lawn, Emily popped out of the screen door and waved – Bella's truck was not exactly stealth transportation, after all.

Ignoring Bella's squeak of objection, Paul scooped her up and carried her up the stairs to the porch. With a kiss to her temple, Paul set her down beside Emily.

"Can I borrow some clothes?" Paul asked flatly as he opened the screen door for the two women and then passed them by inside without a glance as he dropped the backpack on the couch.

"Sure – grab some from out back," Emily answered, watching him with a concerned furrow to her brow and then turning with a questioning gaze to Bella.

"He's upset about this morning," Bella provided cryptically.

Emily nodded and sat down on the couch, curling her leg up and patting the space beside her.

"Actually I wanted to ask you about that," Bella blushed and carefully sat down beside her. "We… ah… sealed the bond."

"I can tell," Emily smiled genuinely.

"You can smell it too?" Bella burst out indignantly.

Emily laughed out loud. "You heard about that already, huh?" She crinkled her nose sympathetically. "I just try not to think about it. But of course not, I can just _tell_. It's actually kinda obvious. You both seem more at peace, relaxed… _different_."

"Yeah, kinda hard to recognize me when I'm not having some kind of freaking meltdown, huh?" Bella rolled her eyes.

Emily chuckled and slapped Bella's arm reprovingly. "So did it all go okay?" she asked delicately, obviously leaving Bella a wide berth.

Bella still blushed. "It went good… really good." She couldn't help the dreamy softness that crept into her voice, but she certainly wasn't going to go into any details. She licked her lips."But now I can… like _feel _him. _Inside_, y'know," she clutched her hand over her heart. "I can hear his thoughts sometimes too – at least I think that's what it is."

Emily's eyes went wide. "Really?"

Bella blinked. "That's not… n-normal?"

Stretching her arm over the back of the couch her fingers rested on Bella's shoulder. "What's normal? I mean our men turn into wolves, Bella," she grinned impishly. "But I don't have that with Sam. I told you your bond is strong, though – it will be interesting to see how it grows."

"What do you mean? I thought we just had to... um," Bella coughed uncomfortably.

Emily smiled graciously, "oh no, it gets deeper than this… in the next month or so, and as your relationship grows it will evolve. Just like the wolves when they phase, Bella, you're going through a lot of changes too right now. Nothing's really instant." Her brow knit pensively and she tapped her lips once with her finger. "So interesting though – it took a while before I could really _feel_ Sam. And I certainly can't read his mind – though wouldn't that be nice! You're both really sensitive people, so maybe that's why. Or maybe Paul needs it – he's not exactly Mr. Forthright about himself, you know."

"Yeah, I'm getting that," Bella drawled dryly. "But this morning … when the – the lee-… when it was in my room, after Paul got back from chasing it, he was shaking he was so mad – his eyes were not his – they were the wolf. It was kind of scary."

"It's that bloodlust – God, it must have been horrible since the leech was after his mate." Emily whispered, serious.

Bella nodded. "That's what I figured, but I tried to reassure him, but talking wasn't going to work…"

Emily shook her head in agreement.

Bella bit her lip _trying_ to find the courage and words to continue, but so much had happened in so short a time that she found her thoughts swirling in a hopeless whirlpool. Her gaze fell to her hands which were agitatedly picking at the seam of her skirt.

Bella heard Emily smack her lips and she squeezed her eyes shut, embarrassed by her lack of…sophistication.

But when Emily spoke, her voice was gentle, understanding. "You know something Bella, the guys all understand how hard it is to Phase. And it really is a horrible process that takes so much from them and leaves them in this state of burning rage and unbalance like you saw. But we imprints don't exactly have it easy either."

Bella glanced up sharply and met Emily's sincere gaze and then returned it to the safety of her lap.

"In a mere month, the Change gives them a growth spurt that shoots them ahead a decade or more to their prime, where they stay. But over the next year, their minds continue to develop to apparently something like their mid-thirties. It would be dangerous to have all that power controlled by the head of a teenage boy, yeah?"

Bella smiled to herself and nodded, not looking up.

"That's why Sam, Jared and Paul seem so much older – they've been Phasing for months before the others. But what about us? No Pack mind to help us out, no real rules or guidance from the council. We're just left to try and catch up with our mates without their crazy hormone cocktail," Emily scooted closer and captured Bella's fidgeting hands in hers and then finally her gaze. "Luckily we women are good like that."

Bella blinked and smiled tentatively along with her.

"And our role is just as important to the tribe as the wolf's. We _do_ balance them Bella. It's not something that's easy – not just something we do just by existing. It takes practice to figure it out. I've been raised knowing my place and obligation to my tribe so what I have to give up to fulfill it doesn't –"

"It's Paul's tribe too… and Jake's and …yours. I may not be Quileute, but I have an obligation to my friends," Bella surprised both of them by the fierceness of her assertion.

A slow smile bloomed on half of Emily's face. "You really are lovely Bella. I'm so glad you're Paul's mate."

Bella swallowed, the flash of indignation fading to a blush.

"And it's your tribe too now. You may not be Quileute by blood, but you are now by association. And more importantly, you're Pack. We're your people now. And believe me you should use that, you'll have earned it at the end of the day!" Emily laughed.

Bella frowned thoughtfully and looked down at her fingers, still covered by Emily's gentle hand. She was Pack? She had a people? A sense of place was something she'd never had…

"I don't envy you trying to figure out Paul, though." Emily snatched Bella's thoughts back from her musing. "I love him like a brother, but that boy is complex!"

Bella looked back up, "but you seem so good with people."

Emily sat back, releasing her hand. "Yeah, I love people. But I've always been real easy-breezy – the artist in me, I guess. Sometimes I can get Paul to spill just by listening, but he's a tough one."

Bella chewed on her lip. He didn't seem all _that_ complex.

"You guys are made for each other, Bella – don't doubt that. He needs someone as sharp, smart and stubborn as he is… but who's also caring and real. And that is _totally_ you," Emily smiled.

"I dunno about that, I didn't seem to do that good a job today," Bella mumbled under her breath, ignoring such a kind and uncomfortable compliment.

"What happened?" Emily asked quietly.

Bella met her eyes but recoiled inside… she just wasn't comfortable enough to –

"Let me tell you what happened with Sam and me," Emily quickly interjected, with a brief unconscious glance down to Bella's neck. "For the first month I kind of felt like a wolf chew toy. I mean I was right there with him, but especially after a hunt or some conflict, things could get… kinda rough. And afterwards, Sam would feel so bad… " Emily frowned and her own gaze fell to her lap. "But I learned that they sometimes need to feel like _you're_ in control. Because you are Bella." She looked up again with emphasis. "You totally are. And that's your job – to keep them in check. You have to be a real partner – someone who guides them when they are out of control, who makes them feel contained. Even if it still ends up rough and tumble – they can't help it: they're so very strong - they have to know that you're right there with them as an equal, otherwise it eats at them like acid along with the rest of it."

Emily stopped and her gaze darted between Bella's eyes, looking for comprehension. Bella licked her lips and nodded once.

"It takes time to figure it all out – that's what I'm saying. And it can be kinda tough, but we get our perks too. True love is _so _underrated," Emily murmured with a sentimental half smile.

Bella smiled at the affection that softened Emily's entire face…

And then shot bolt upright with a gasp, as a searing jolt shocked her body like she had stuck a wet finger in an electrical socket.

Emily frowned at her grimace just as a booming voice was heard from the kitchen.

"Fucking shit! There was _another_ motherfucking parasite?"

_Paul_.

Emily's frown turned into a sly smile. "Look, now you get to practice." She stood up and held out a helping hand.

Bella took it and pulled herself up off the couch and followed the woman to the kitchen, feeling hesitant and nervous for too many reasons to bother counting.

At the far end of the long table, Sam stood at the head, his foot propped up on a chair and leaning over his thigh. Paul, now dressed in a tee shirt and long shorts (that actually fit) looked like he had just jumped up off the bench and was staring Sam down fiercely. Quil, Seth - Seth! – and Embry were lounging around on the benches over coffee, looking like they were watching TV.

When Emily and Bella entered, all wolves' attention snapped unnervingly to them. Emily smiled jauntily with a wave. Bella glanced at Paul and then scanned the room and her gaze fell to her feet, uneasy. As Emily lead her to the far corner to the counter by the sink, Sam began to talk again.

"Yes, it was waiting somewhere outside of our territory – it didn't run in with the other, almost as if on purpose…" Sam began.

"Would you like some tea?" Emily asked conversationally, completely at ease in suffocating tension of the room.

Bella nodded and turned to lean against the counter, watching the strained interplay before her. Paul paced several feet and then back again.

"And that … _that_ fucking bloodsucker got what the other one _took from her Goddamn room_?" Paul hissed low, and dangerous.

Bella swallowed. _They took something from her room?_

"Here you go," Emily turned around with two steaming mugs as Bella idly scanned the sink – _ah, she did have one of those spigots. _

Her legs still felt like jelly, so she put her hands behind her on the counter suggestively. "May I?" she asked.

"Sure, I do it all the time," Emily shrugged, dunking her tea bag several times.

Bella hoisted herself up to sit gingerly on the counter. Across the room, Paul's eyes snapped to her, dark and unreadable. Bella ignored him and looked down at her tea, dragging the bag through the water, restlessly.

Sam continued to talk with Paul, who was pacing laps on one side of the table now. Apparently the second vampire had snatched whatever it was the first took. The first had been torn apart by the Pack. Jake, Leah, and Jared were still trying to find the trail of the second one apparently.

"So what I do is I just focus on Sam," Emily whispered, capturing Bella's gaze and attention again. "I try to be as calm as I can and I just watch what he's feeling, how he's reacting – I don't worry about any of the others."

Bella glanced over at Paul, raking his hands through his short hair while he paced, his jaw line pronounced with tension. It was pretty easy to know what he was feeling even without the choking tightness in her chest.

"And sometimes, if he needs it, I step in," Emily murmured, looking up at Bella solemnly. "Just sit beside him, or offer my hand. Our touch soothes them – grounds them."

"But do the other guys ever get mad at you for interrupting or anything?" Bella asked, her gaze darting around the room of intimidating men.

"Bella, the bond changes the pack too. They all see you as their _sister _now," Emily assured her earnestly.

"Really? Even Jake?" it burst from her lips with more enthusiasm than she had intended.

The eager hopefulness on her face must have been pretty funny, because Emily burst into laughter. Bella found she did so too. _To finally get her best friend back – with no uncomfortable subtext – would be awesome_.

At the sudden silence in the room, Bella looked up. All the men were turned, facing them curiously.

Bella smothered her laughter with a hand, but Emily just asked through her dwindling chuckle, "Sorry Sam, do you want us to leave?"

"No!" Sam and Paul comically came back in unison with the exact same expression of shock.

Emily and Bella looked at each other and burst into more laughter.

The wolves grabbed the lifering of humor they offered and to the tune of some good-natured ribbing, the energy in the room lightened instantly.

Taking a sip of her tea, Bella wiped the tear from her eye. It had felt so good to laugh, even though she had also felt dangerously close to a giggling little girl.

Emily set her mug back down and murmured conspiratorially. "See how much more relaxed they are now?"

Bella looked up and indeed, Paul had sat back down, along with Sam. And they were actually drinking their coffee and talking about some kind of strategy. Paul glanced at her as if she'd called his name, and gave her a subtle wink.

Bella turned back to Emily. "Yeah, I do."

"I actually have a theory about why Sam and Paul have imprinted…" Emily began sagely, taking another sip of tea.

Bella's eyebrows shot up encouragingly.

"Well Sam, Paul and Jake are the most dominant males in the Pack. Sam, because he has to be and he's always been kind of the fatherly type. Paul, because… _he just is_," she laughed. "And Jake because of his lineage. But it would make sense for the most dominant males to –"

Her sentence was interrupted by the sudden silence in the room as all the wolves turned to stare pointedly at the back door. Less than a minute later, Jacob burst through, followed by Leah and Jared.

Sam stood, "did you get it?"

Jacob shook his head tersely and then, ignoring Paul's growl of frustration, turned –surprisingly - to Bella. His face softened as he crossed intently to her, stopping less than an inch from her knees on the counter.

"Bells," he sighed, leaning in and snaking a hand behind her neck to press his lips to her forehead.

And it was true. To her pleasure, it was the most emotionally comfortable physical contact she had had from Jake in a long time.

"You're different," he whispered cryptically into her hairline, pulling back as his comprehending eyes washed over her face with a sad smile.

Bella nodded, biting her lip.

His eyelids fluttered closed for a moment in a reluctant acceptance. Taking a deep breath, his hand held out a dirty torn piece of fabric. "'This yours, honey?"

Bella took it and turned it over idly. It was a scrap from a knit shirt of hers from a pile of dirty laundry on her bedroom floor. She looked up and nodded.

Jacob was not paying attention however, his gaze was running carefully over every inch of her, his brow furrowed.

"It is, Jake. It's a piece of one of my shirts," Bella provided, suddenly registering the low angry rumbling in the room behind him.

"Shut the fuck up, Meraz," Jacob growled over his shoulder.

"Don't call me that!" was the savage and guttural reply.

Bella tried to peer around Jacob's broad shoulders but Jacob caught her gaze meaningfully with his. His eyes were hot and angry.

Bella gulped, as a sinking feeling of nausea twisted her stomach.

Jacob gently took the red scrap of fabric from her hand and set it on the counter, and then – rather oddly, she thought - leaned in to wrap his long arms around her for a hug. He squeezed right over the bruising on her back. Bella inadvertently gasped and he released her immediately, looking down at her with an assessing gaze.

She blinked in surprise when his fingers trailed down over her collarbone to pull the neckline of her sweater down two inches. A gravelly growl rose from deep in his chest.

Like lightning, Jacob whipped around.

"Wait, Jake… Stop…" Bella stuttered, dread blooming cold and hard in the pit of her stomach.

Emily's hand pressed on her thigh. "No, Bella, wait," she hissed, fear prominent in her tone.

Sam was standing with his hand clasped soundly on Paul's shoulder which was already vibrating with anger.

Jacob stalked toward him, his back muscles rippling and hands clenched in fists. "You fucker. What the _hell _did you do to to her! What did I tell you?"

And then in a blurred movement too fast to see, Jacob leaped the remaining few yards, slamming his fist into Paul's face so hard that he flew backwards, knocking over both Sam and a chair as his body flew through the far wall.

Jacob continued to prowl toward him, his muscles slithering under his skin like they were alive. Paul picked himself up and crouched with a vicious snarl, his face covered in blood.

Bella launched off the counter, ignoring Emily's frantic warning shriek.

Bella's entire attention was focused on Paul. His emotions were such a twisted, burning mess that it made her head - and her heart - hurt: anger, shame, protective fury… and an incinerating rage - focused both outward... and in.

Bella ran forward and pulled at Jacob's rock solid arm, completely ineffectively. At the touch though, Jacob growled reflexively. Paul's roar was ear-splitting in response.

Bella pushed in front of her best friend and slapped his quivering pec. "Don't growl at me, Jacob Black," she scolded and then promptly turned her back on him.

Paul's eyes were darting, yellow, feral, wild between her and Jacob. His lips were peeled back from gnashing teeth.

"Bella! Bella _get back_! He has no control right now…you need to leave…**Now**!" Sam barked urgently in his resonant base.

Paul viciously turned on him, his face eerily transforming for an instant to the profile of a wolf before snapping back with a guttural and rabid snarl that sprayed foam.

Bella's eyes were intensely trained on Paul. "'Not my Alpha, Sam," she muttered dryly out of the side of her mouth.

At her words, Paul turned back to her and cocked his head, his grating growls softening to an agonized rumble in his chest. Bella took the remaining two steps quickly and reached out her hand and placed it on his heaving chest. The touch sent an instant slickery warmth slipping throughout her body.

Paul sucked in a breath of surprise and then let it out. Slowly.

Bella reached her hands up like a child and Paul unthinkingly bent to scoop her up into his arms. She wrapped her legs around him and rested her cheek on his muscular shoulder.

"_Mine_," she breathed out contentedly into his neck and his body instantly relaxed under her.

Bella picked up her head and looked into his hard yellow eyes which were quickly melting back to black. She brought her sleeve up and pulled it over the heel of her hand, dabbing it at the blood on his face gingerly; she couldn't even tell where it was all coming from. For some reason, his blood didn't make her stomach turn like it usually did, it just made it clench in distress.

Trying to stifle her worry, she bit her lip. "'You okay?" she whispered.

Paul nodded imperceptibly as another wave of vibrating heat shook his body.

"Let's go get some lunch, then we can pick up the glass to fix those windows, maybe get your bike?" she suggested quietly, running a finger over his cheekbone, trying to distract him from the intermittent tremors. They _needed_ time away from all this together. Somehow… she just _knew it_.

Paul didn't answer but leaned in and pressed his lips oh, so gently to hers and pulled back so slowly that she felt the subtle cling of skin on skin. She tasted his blood though, and Bella closed her eyes and took a calming breath.

_Paul is okay_, she reminded herself.

Wiggling her request, Paul reluctantly released her, and she slithered down his body leaving her forehead resting on his chest. She didn't want to turn around and face the now deathly silent room behind her.

A snide woman's voice broke the eerie stillness. "That bitch ain't worth it, Jake."

_Ah, Leah._

Bella ignored the growls that erupted around the room and turned and met the woman's haughty gaze. "I agree, Leah. And we're leaving now," Bella stated evenly.

Leah had the good graces to at least look surprised.

Grabbing up Paul's hand, which was vibrating again now in fury, she looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Let's go."

Paul tore his gaze from across the room and looked down at her. A ghost of a smile lifted the corner of those full and bloody lips. "Yeah, babe. Let's get outta here."

Without looking back, they strode out of the kitchen together.


	18. Chapter 18 Left Field

_A/N: For anyone reading this for the first time, this is where the story takes on a different turn. We go from mostly romance/relationship-driven plot-line to adventure with a very very healthy dose of angst. There are some mature themes and violence ahead, so please be warned._

_Thanks for reading, chickadees._

'

**Chapter 18 - Left Field**

'

As soon as Bella had steered her truck past the border of the Rez, she pulled to the side of the road. She glanced worriedly at Paul who was leaned back against the passenger's side headrest, eyes closed, face bloody. It looked so much worse outside – even in the overcast daylight.

Jerking up the emergency brake and turning off the engine, Bella leaned over him and pulled out a little package of wet wipes from the glove compartment and kneeled beside him.

Paul cracked an eye open and the corner of his lips twitched. "Whatcha doin' little girl?"

Bella bit her lip and pulled out a wipe, scooting closer. "I want to see what Jake did to your face…" she murmured as she brought the cloth up and dabbed tentatively at the drying blood.

"It's nothing, babe. It'll be healed in about twenty," Paul mumbled, not objecting however when Bella climbed into his lap to get a better angle. He wrapped his arms around her butt and let out a little sigh that was probably intended to sound impatient, but came out sounding content.

Bella smiled to herself at that as she carefully started cleaning off the crimson glazing his perfect features. She uncovered a busted lip and bloody nose, but more disturbingly, the skin over his right cheekbone had been _torn_ by the force of Jake's hit and maybe the bone underneath. The edges of the gash were already knitting together in a jagged pink line that looked tender. She sucked in a sympathetic breath through her teeth.

"Do you know that your cheek is ripped?" she asked through gritted teeth as she pulled out another wipe and continued to clean off his face – very gingerly.

"That's what it feel like. He shattered my cheekbone and it cut through," Paul drawled.

Bella stopped what she was doing and looked at him until he cracked open his eyes.

A wry grin pulled at his swollen features. "It's healing, little girl. The only reason I'm letting you do this is for the fringe benefits," he chuckled, rubbing his large hands appreciatively over her bottom.

Bella wasn't exactly in a laughing mood. Her eyes ran over his features worriedly as she thought_, what if something ever __really__ happened to him_? It was frightening to see tough, competent Paul … physically damaged.

Seeming to sense what she was thinking he sat up a little more, pulling her down to his chest. "Shh, it's all good. I'm fine," he soothed as he ran his hands up her back. "I let him land it – I deserved it. I told him to mess me up good if I ever hurt you."

Bella pulled back with a frown.

Paul's hand came up to wipe away a smear of his blood from her cheek. "You don't think I could take Jake? C'mon. He's just a fucking kid and I'm the best in the Pack. I could take down Sam if he kept his fucking Alpha mouth shut."

Bella ignored his boastful swagger. "You didn't deserve it," Bella whispered, resting her hands on his chest.

Paul leaned in an pressed his lips to hers. Tenderly. "Let's get some lunch, babe. There's a little truck stop over by the Home Depot where I left my bike. We can pick it up and eat there if you like…"

Bella worried her lip and nodded. She knew it – in the little industrial park on the north side of town.

As she balled up the wad of now bloody wipes and threw them a plastic grocery bag she realized she was still feeling… disturbed. On several levels. She had to figure out how to talk to him about this morning – she didn't want it eating at him. She had felt all the self-loathing back at Emily's house, and even if it were subverted by his casual confident façade right this minute, it was most definitely still there. Festering.

"Why did you leave your motorcycle here?" Bella asked as she surveyed the sleek black Suzuki with appreciation.

"Got impatient on the way back from Port Ange," Paul mumbled running his hand over the bike and dusting it off. "This baby's fast," he looked up with a quirk to his lips. "But my wolf's faster."

Bella smiled at the sparkle in his eye. His face was remarkably completely healed - only splotches of blood on his shirt kept he memory. "How are we –" she began, and then watched as Paul pulled down the tailgate of her truck. He stooped and picked up the sport cycle as if it weighed no more than a bicycle and rolled it into the back of the truck. Hopping up onto the bed in one graceful move, he pulled it all the way forward and unlocked the seat, popping open the compartment and pulling out a pair of sandals. He tossed them on the ground and then lithely vaulted over the side of the truck to slither his feet into them. Bella loved the way he moved: efficient, sure and with a flowing tension like mercury.

"Ready?" he asked.

Bella wiped her hands on her skirt and nodded, biting her lip. She realized this was the first time they were out in public together as they crossed the parking lot toward the cheesy truck stop diner.

It was lunchtime and the restaurant was noisy and full. A sports channel was playing on two flat-screen TVs, competing with the country music piped in under the general din of metal silverware on ceramic plates and muddled conversation.

Bella blinked in overwhelm. Paul's hand came to the small of her back she instantly relaxed. He leaned in and pressed his lips to her temple and then guided her after a waitress with tall poofy hair.

Bella noticed that even in the chaotic diner, that patrons looked up instinctively at Paul as he passed through the room. He held himself loose and casual, but with an unmistakable air of power – and everyone sat up and took notice.

Except maybe the waitress. She wordlessly dropped the greasy peeling laminate menus on the table as they each slid into the plastic booth at the back of the diner. With an glance up at Paul, Bella started to peruse the typical fare as she pulled her lip into her mouth uneasily .

Paul's hand rubbed over her lower lip gently and Bella looked up to find him watching her thoughtfully with a cock to his head. His hand dropped to the table and slid back to in front of him as he leaned on his forearms.

"You already know what you're going to order?" she asked, trying to read the intense expression in his eyes.

He didn't blink but held her gaze meaningfully. "I know what I want," he murmured low and poignant.

Bella's eyes darted between his and her lips parted to speak…

The waitress plopped two red plastic glasses of water on the table so hard that they sloshed. "So whattaya want?" she asked, turning to Bella.

"Um," Bella began, frantically looking down that the menu.

"I'll have two double cheeseburgers – with fries- and a beer," Paul said.

Bella glanced up and watched him pull an ID from his wallet and slap it on the table.

The waitress didn't even glance at it but switched her weight to one hip as she scribbled on her pad with the cheap plastic pen. Bella quickly snapped the card up off the table. "I'll have a diet coke and your garden burger – with a salad."

With a smack the waitress grunted her assent and picked up the menus. Bella examined Paul's ID. He looked just like himself in the photo – that wry smirk of his that lifted up one brow.

"Twenty-nine?" Bella gaped with a snort glancing up to where he was turning over his paper placemat.

"Twenty-nine year old body, babe," he winked.

Her gaze ran over his broad muscular shoulders that were straining against the subtly blood-stained tee shirt. She certainly couldn't argue with that. She watched curiously as a pen seemed to magically appear in his hand. A pen that looked suspiciously just like the one the waitress had been using.

Bella clicked her tongue with a feigned look of shock.

Paul looked up from under those long straight lashes with a sly smile.

A wash of warmth made her body shudder. She returned her attention to his ID, taking in every detail. The waitress dropped her diet coke and an amber beer bottle with a glass turned upside down over it and hastened away. Bella slid the card back across the table.

"So your last name is Meraz?" Bella asked quietly, remembering his reaction to Jake earlier.

"Technically. I don't use it unless I hafta. Not exactly sentimental memories and all that shit," he grumbled, pulling the glass off the bottled and pouring the beer down his throat.

Bella licked her lips. "Is that really your birthday?" Bella asked as she pulled the paper off the end of the straw.

"Yup," Paul said, popping the P without looking up from where he was now drawing attentively.

"Scorpio?"

"Through and through," his lips stretched into a cocky half smile. "You?" he looked up, pausing his sketching.

"April – Taurus," Bella provided with a lift to her shoulder as she drew her soda up the straw.

"Ah, figures," Paul chuckled and returned to his drawing.

"What does that mean?" Bella laughed, kicking off her shoes and pulling her feet up under her on the bench.

"That opposites attract, babe," Paul murmured under his breath as he sketched a long flowing line. Abruptly he stopped and looked up at her with a piercing gaze. "And you definitely attract."

Bella blushed and looked down at the cubes of ice in her drink, stirring restlessly.

"In fact, I'm not really sure what to do about that," Paul murmured. Bella looked back up to find him staring at her with intense, unguarded eyes. He blinked quickly and returned his gaze to his drawing.

"What do you mean?" she whispered, pushing her drink to the side.

Paul jutted his chin out thoughtfully and tipped his head. "Well, your dad is getting back tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah," Bella sighed getting where he was going. Harry's funeral was tomorrow afternoon: an outdoor event at the beach.

"I can't be away from you, Bella," Paul murmured quietly to his drawing.

Bella took in a deep breath and pulled her shoulders up to her ears. She knew the feeling. Over the last two days - _just two days!_ – her entire world had been turned completely upside down. But the funny thing is, she couldn't even imagine what it was like before Paul.

"Look I know this is crazy shit – but I…" He paused and looked up at her with eyes that were burning with conviction. "I-I'm not strong enough to be away from you. Neither is my wolf. I want you – I need you - in my bed every night. And I don't care about the sex."

Bella choked and pulled her soda back in front of her with a desperate gulp.

Paul's lips curved in a distracted smile. "I mean I _do_… but that's not what I mean." He watched her pull in a long draw of soda. "Emily moved in with Sam almost immediately after they got together and I thought they were nuts," he whispered tersely and returned his attention to the image taking shape on the mat before him. "Not anymore," he said over a dark chuckle.

Bella pressed her lips together thoughtfully. So freaking much had changed! And it didn't fit with the normal, outside world in neat little pocket, either. If she just went with her _feelings_… everything felt better and more right than she had ever imagined possible. It was that deep knowing feeling that settled in the marrow of her bones.

But there was so much she didn't know about the man sitting across from her; how could she know so thoroughly that she wanted, _needed_, _would_ spend her **life **with him?

_No, thinking definitely got her into trouble._

"Did I scare you?" Paul asked glancing up at her. His lips hitched up on the side. "I mean, more than usual?"

Bella rolled her eyes with a snort. "No, I had already been thinking about this actually."

"Really? What were you thinking?" Paul's nostrils flared and he returned to his drawing. Like magic, a perfect image of her, perched on the counter of the kitchen beside Emily was appearing under his ministrations with breathtaking speed and detail. On a placemat. With a crappy bic pen.

Bella shook her head in amazement and blinked. "Well I was thinking of buying paint at the hardware store today," she began timidly.

Paul's lips twitched as he continued drawing. "And what were you going to do with that paint?"

"Um, paint your house," Bella admitted, chewing on her lip and twisting her hands before her on the table.

"You were going to paint my house, huh," Paul murmured as a brow lifted slyly. "Interesting."

"Yeah I was thinking of painting it green on the outside with white trim," Bella mused. "Green like the trees." She thought it would be cool to make the house kind of blend into that wild little corner of the forest.

Paul glanced up and met her gaze for a moment with sparkling eyes. With a quick nod he returned to his drawing. "We'll see about that."

"And I was thinking of buying some kind of paint for the inside too. Maybe cream or something? "Bella mind began to wander and she let her mouth babble along with it. "I saw this cool thing on a home improvement show where they painted with a sponge and it made it look chalky and soft. But I don't think I'm talented enough for that. So I thought something kinda neutral would just make it look brighter. I'm not all artistic and creative like Emily."

Paul looked up with a serious hardness to his eyes. "I don't want Emily," he said flatly. His gaze washed over her face for a moment thoughtfully and then he looked down again at the pen in his hand. "I want a little girl who wants to paint my house green. Like the trees," he smiled softly as he put the finishing touches on his artwork just as the waitress dropped plates on the table in front of them with a ceramic clatter.

Bella quickly rescued his placemat and turned it around, examining it with a slack jaw. Paul was an amazing artist. He had captured the moment when Bella and Emily were talking earnestly and the space and detail were shockingly realistic. He had managed to give the drawing a flowing movement that showed in the shimmer and ripple of their hair, the soft folds of her skirt, the steaming tea. It was willowy and beautiful. And done on a placemat. With a crappy bic pen.

"God, you're amazing, Paul. How do you do this from your head?" Bella breathed in awe.

"Photographic memory," Paul provided casually and stuffed several fries in his mouth at once.

Bella looked up sharply. "Really?

"Yup," he said, leaning over to pick up the huge burger in front of him. "That's why I hate to read. Get's cluttered," he took a huge bite and looked up at her, waiting for her reaction as he chewed, grease dripping from the corner of his mouth.

Bella impulsively leaned forward with her napkin and dabbed at his mouth. But Bella loved to read. She had an instant image of him drawing and her curled up by his side, reading to him. It was a nice little vision. "How 'bout getting read to? Do you like that?" She asked with a smile as her finger found itself too tempted to trace his jaw to resist.

He raised his brow with 'never tried it' nod to his head.

The waitress came back with Paul's other plate and set it down. "Anything else?" she asked boredly, and then her eyes snapped to her pen, lying on the table.

Paul, picked it up and plopped it in her apron pocket with a solicitous smile that made the woman blush. "We're good," he said.

Fury bloomed fast and furious and Bella pulled her foot down from under her and kicked him in the shin. And stubbed her toe against his rock-hard bone.

"Ouch," she mumbled, pulling her foot back and into her lap as she rubbed it.

"Karma," he gave her a saccharine smile.

"You were the one flirting," Bella pouted.

In that mercurial way of his, Paul's face went stone cold serious and like lightning he pushed his plate out of the way, leaning over the table, his huge hand cupping her jaw. "It's only you babe. Only you," he whispered roughly and the pressed his lips to her forehead. "Don't ever doubt that." He stared piercingly into her eyes for another moment until she nodded. Paul then sat back down, pulling his plate back in front of him and casually picking up devouring the burger right where he left off.

Bella picked up a tomato from the iceburg lettuce salad that came with her lunch and munched on it watching him make short work of his first plate. Realizing that she was indeed hungry, she picked up her sandwich and took a bite.

Moving the now empty first plate aside, Paul glanced up at her, completely oblivious to her astonishment over how fast he was… well, wolfing down his meal.

"So tomorrow afternoon is the service for Harry," he began conversationally. "It's more a celebration of his life than a mourning his death kinda thing. After that there is going to be a Council bonfire on the beach to officially welcome the cubs into the Pack."

"Everyone knows about them?" Bella asked, taking a bite out of her sandwich. She realized she didn't really know the details of how the Pack fit in with the tribe.

"No, just Council and Pack and their parents or guardians. The others just think it's a party," Paul said between chews. "But I want you to be there. Officially. It should be your welcome party too."

Bella blinked and slowed her chewing down to a stop. "Really?"

"You're my mate," Paul growled seemingly unconsciously. "And it's your Pack too." He paused and pointedly met her gaze. "I'm going to ask the Council if they can talk to your father."

Bella set her sandwich down and swallowed, leaning back as she considered him.

He paused, holding the burger halfway to his mouth. "It's only fair. When wolves Phase, the parents are told. Your father needs to know," he said simply. Something about his tone though was the slow hiss of steel.

"B-but…" Bella began, trying to wrap her mind around it all.

"I'm not fucking twelve. I'm not going to be sneaking around through your window, just so that I can hold my mate in my arms. You're mine, Bella," He rumbled low and dangerous.

Instead of feeling suffocating, his possessiveness soothed some deep part of her. His.

"And you're _mine_," Bella returned cockily, leaning her elbows on the table.

Paul smiled and nodded once and then took a monster bite of his sandwich.

He held her gaze thoughtfully as he chewed. Bella pulled her lip into her mouth and then reached out and stole a French fry off his plate. She considered it a moment before she bit into it.

"About this morning…" she began as she looked up shrewdly and saw his face blanche. She chuckled to herself. They needed to talk about this. Especially if all of these plans were being bandied about. She didn't want this splinter under his skin to get red and infected – his self-deprecating wounds were already deep enough. "You said I never had to feel any shame, right?" she asked demurely from under her lashes.

Paul set the remaining part of sandwich down and grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped at his mouth.

Bella's lips curved of their own accord. She was going to throw him a curve ball and if she was right, this left-field play might just be clever enough to work on that sharp, stubborn mind of his.

"Well the thing about it is…." She blinked up at him shyly and the lowered her eyes back to the table as her hand inched across to cover his own. "I liked it." She looked up again with her best attempt at coy. "I liked it a lot, Paul."

Paul's face went blank in surprise and she knew she had navigated successfully past his first defense.

"See, with … with E-Edward. He was always trying to protect me – like I was something fragile that was best wrapped in bubble wrap …" she laughed and tilted her head. "Or in a padded room."

She dragged his hand over to her side of the table and traced over his brown, smooth knuckles with a fingertip. "He made me feel really stupid and useless and helpless," she whispered softly, not realizing the full impact those words had on her own self when she finally spoke them out loud. "And Jake… he kinda did the same thing. I mean I was this broken thing. Like a baby bird that fell out of its nest that needed nursing and feeding with an eye-dropper."

She sighed and covered his hands with her palm as the pursed her lips, afraid to see what his reaction was. "So I started to doing things that were crazy – hopping on the back of a motorcycle with some tattooed guy I didn't' know."

She heard him growl low and dangerous, but she just pulled her shoulder up to her ear, not looking up. "Riding motorcycles with Jake – and really _trying_ to crash. Jumping off the rocks into the waves. Crazy stuff. Just to feel like I had _some kind_ of power in my life." She bit her lip and then looked up into his black, bottomless eyes. His expression was complex: but patient, open. He was listening, not formulating comebacks in his head.

"But you don't make me feel like I'm broken. You don't treat me like I'm some loser who's going to break if you look at her funny," Bella's brow dipped, trying to get him to understand. "This morning was scary and rough and sore and awesome and…freakin' hot," Bella hated that she blushed. "But it was real," she met his gaze. "And I liked it."

Paul's hand slipped out from under hers and grasped both of her hands in his. His gaze darted between her eyes, speechless.

"I trust you Paul. And like I trust you, I hope you trust me too," she finished quietly, looking down at their intertwined hands.

There was silence between them for almost an entire minute as the sounds of the diner seemed to close over their heads.

"You're fucking awesome," Paul breathed out finally.

Bella looked up to his sincere expression of wonder.

His face subverted such a vulnerable expression in his signature smirk. "And you play better Jedi mind tricks than Emily," he laughed darkly with a shrewd tilt to his brow.

Bella laughed, the humor lightening the mood instantly. "Well, my Padawan, she did advise me that I had to get better at controlling you," Bella taunted.

Like lightning, Paul was leaning over the table, inches from her mouth. "Good luck with that, little girl. Good luck with that," he murmured over his lips before he pressed a searing and sumptuous kiss over her mouth that effectively melted any resolve or scathing come back at all.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Paul watched Bella struggling to pull one of Home Depot's huge industrial-sized shopping carts from the bin as he came around the back of her truck_. _

_Christ! The handle came up to her chest!_

Throwing her entire body behind the job, she finally pulled it free and arduously turned it toward the store. Paul came up behind her and caged her between his arms.

"Hop up, little girl," her murmured in her ear.

With a delighted smile he could just see out of the corner of her eye, she jumped up onto the bar that ran between the wheels and leaned back into his shoulder. Paul pushed both cart and mate, easily toward the wide automatic doors. He couldn't help the low purr of satisfaction that vibrated his diaphragm and he nuzzled into her hair, taking a deep breath of her sweet and satisfying scent.

_Mine_.

He swerved them dramatically through the wide aisles just to hear her girlish giggles as he meandered his way toward the paint section. It was on the far side of the store, but Paul was in no rush – he was enjoying the feel of her in his arms far too much.

Mine.

Paul parked the cart by swatches of color that paraded down long thin cards.

"Here you go…little girl who wants to paint my house green," he whispered low and velvet beside her ear.

She shivered.

Paul smiled.

Bella hopped off the cart and ducked under his arms – barely having to bend to do so – and ran a finger down one of the rows of color.

She turned back to him, "we have to get the glass too, right?"

"And the drywall for Sam's," Paul nodded, leaning on the cart and watching the way she pulled her lower lip into her mouth.

"Should we do the boring stuff first?" she asked.

A wry grin pulled at his lips - that's what he thought he was doing. "How about this? I'll go order them to cut the glass and sheet rock, and then come back and get you. We can pick it up on the way out."

Bella's eyes brightened. "That sounds good… it will probably take me a while. I never knew there were so many colors of green," she mumbled incredulously, turning back to the wall of swatches.

Paul leaned in and kissed her temple, from where she was already pulling out a little card, and scowling at it. "Remember, there's a difference between interior and exterior paint, babe," he laughed beside her ear.

Bella's eyes snapped up at the sign above her - _interior matte_ - and turned back to him with a roll to her eyes. "Yeah, you can probably take all day to order that glass…" she snorted.

Running a possessive hand down her arm, Paul reluctantly turned and shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way toward the back of the store.

About twenty minutes later Paul had panes of glass cut for both for Bella's window and the two at his house. He also had ordered the sheetrock to repair the hole his body had made when Jacob threw him through Emily's kitchen wall.

He ambled back towards the paint aisle, picking up some spackle and caulking along the way. Bella was perched on the shopping cart, feet on the bottom bar and leaning over the handle examining little cards of color fanned out in both hands. She was idly going up and down on the balls of her feet like a little kid.

A brawny, built young manager - who apparently ran the paint department, or was pretending to at the moment - was solicitously hovering and going on about something, making no attempts to hide his interest. Paul would have ripped the man's head off right then and there, except that Bella was so obviously oblivious.

_He wasn't a threat, _his wolf decided.

Paul didn't need to scent the man's arousal to know what was hidden under that work apron. Her guileless sexuality was magnetic; that long flowing skirt, and loose soft sweater that hung askance on her thin shoulders, revealing the tank top underneath, gave her an organic allure that begged to be ravished. Her long brown curls hanging over her shoulders, wisps of which hung sexily over one eye and her child-like fidgeting were the icing on the cake.

Paul growled and hastened his step. He needed to get a big fat ring on that finger of hers soon, or his jealousy would land him in some serious trouble with humans who had no fucking sense of smell.

He came up silently behind her and was pleased that she leaned back into him –knowing he was there before his hands even came into her view. She hummed softly and Paul pulled her hair over her shoulder, peevishly showing the man the mark on her neck before he pressed his lips sensuously to her pulse. Mine.

"Hey babe," he murmured, and then met the gaze of the young man over her shoulder with eyes that glittered in warning.

The man blanched and took a reflexive step back. Only a fool wouldn't back down from even the subtlest hint of challenge from Paul. He was good for it, and they could tell.

They picked out brushes and rollers while the employee fell all over himself, nervously mixing the paint she had chosen. _What a fucking idiot._

Bella seemed absolutely clueless as to any drama unfolding around her and Paul was glad. It soothed his wolf that she was so ingénue. Violence was right at the tip of his fingers, but her complete and utter focus on him soothed the beast.

He pushed Bella and a trolley loaded with paint, glass and dry wall out to her truck. He had bought some straps to tie the motorcycle down. Of course, he could have ridden it home, but he wasn't going to miss out of a minute of getting to spend time with her.

Bella sat on the tailgate and kicked her feet as Paul loaded the truck bed – having had to growl his displeasure at her feeble attempts to help. He was a modern guy, but he had his limits after all.

He hopped down and smiled at her. "I like your truck," he said.

"It's cool, huh?" Bella grinned guilelessly.

"It's the perfect height," Paul murmured stepping between her legs as his energy pulsed in his groin.

Bella looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"Now see, if you weren't sore from this morning, with that skirt… I could rip those panties in two so fast your head would spin," he leaned into her hair and pressed his body along hers as he pulled her ass to the edge of the tailgate. "Then it's a simple zipper away from me being … inside." He breathed by her ear.

Bella shuddered and lifted her lips to his, closing her eyes. _Fuck she was edible._

He pressed his mouth over that silent entreaty and ground his hips into her crotch as he held her to him.

"Sir, this is a loading zone," a nasal voice ripped through the heavy haze of desire that muffled his every sense.

"Karma," Bella whispered mischievously in his ear.

The day slipped away into chores that were also so intimate that they made Bella's heart swell. They shopped at Home Depot together. They brought paint and windows back to Forks and the Rez. Bella cooked a casserole as Paul fixed the glass in her bedroom. She sat on her bed and watched his sure, competent hands replace the window and talked about nothing and everything at the same time. She dressed in old capri jeans and a shirt of her dad's that she tied off at the waste, wrapping a bandana over her hair. She called Emily to apologize for the drama and to borrow newspaper to cover the floor inside for painting.

Emily had come to Paul's house with Sam, his truck, ladders and Pack all in tow. Even Leah. Who mumbled an apology in front of Jake's crossed armed chest. Bella had ignored Paul's growls and simply pretended like it was nothing, asking her if she wanted to paint outside with the guys. Emily, Seth, Quil and she were painting the interior. With a relieved sigh she had left followed Jake out to do just that.

As simple as all that, Paul's house was painted - inside and out - in one afternoon to the driving bass of the radio blasting out of Sam's truck.

It was a good day.

Bella was so tired that she didn't even have the energy to take a shower and wash the stiff drips of paint from her hair. Both she and Paul had wordlessly stripped and climbed into her bed together – away from the sharp smell of paint and turpentine at his house - skin on skin, warmth and comfort, they fell into dream.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

"Mmm, baby. I gotta go patrol," Paul murmured in her ear as she desperately grasped at the arm trying to recede from her stomach.

"N-no," she grumbled, holding his hands to her peevishly.

"God, don't make this harder than it already is, babe," he nuzzled her ear.

Bella pushed her hips back against him from where he was spooning her in his satin warmth.

"Fuck," Paul hissed in her ear.

Bella smiled.

He pulled her close and buried his face in the nape of her neck, breathing deeply.

"Mm," she hummed sleepily letting her eyes roll back.

His fingers brushed over her already taut nipples and she expelled a sigh.

"Oh shit, babe," he groaned and his arms wrapped around her and his hands inched lower.

Bella wiggled into him, feeling the hot, hard press of his arousal against her lower back.

Paul pulled her up onto her knees.

"Babe, you can't play with me. I don't do teasing good," he murmured into her shoulder as his arm pulled her back up along his torso.

He held her up with one hand and ghosted the other over her breasts and stomach, down to that burning spot between her legs. His finger dived right in and rubbed the begging little nub.

She curved up into him, going fully up on her hands and knees. "Oh, please," she whispered softly.

"Please what, babe?" his voice slithered all velvet and dark over the shell of her ear, followed by the nip of his teeth.

"Inside… I just.." she gasped quietly.

Paul's finger rubbed pointedly over her clit and she arched back. He entered her at the very same moment, slipping in silkily along her welcoming wetness.

"Like that?" he purred low in her ear.

"Mm, hmm," she moaned, angling her hips to get more of him.

He made love to her, slow, sensual, pushing, dragging. Pulling her body up against his as his hips pumped against her. It was a luxuriant and sumptuous pace that made her burn slowly to white-hot need. It was sultry and dreamy, like the wind in the trees in August. It pulled at her heartstrings, her body, her soul.

She came with him on a breathy gasp that was the echo of his satiation.

Paul collapsed, pulling her into him as he laid back on his side. "Babe," he whispered, a tenderness in his voice that melted like butter.

Bella nestled into him and returned to spacious, empty dreams.

The day was bright and finally pried its way under her eyelids and she groaned. She picked her head up and glared at the clock that said 9:55 am.

Squeezing her eyes closed again petulantly, she peeled herself off the bed. She was stiff and sore from painting. And … other things.

Turning on her old laptop, she pulled on her robe and shuffled down the stairs. Pulling an iced coffee out of the fridge, she popped the top of the can and poured back a restorative mouthful. With another sulky moan of fatigue, she stumbled back upstairs to her bedroom, the cold tin can of caffeine clutched in her fist.

She closed the door and glared blearily at her computer. She hadn't been really connected with the "rest of the world" for days now. She signed into her internet email and watched message after message load on her screen. Taking another sip of the sweet coffee, she casually scrolled down her full inbox. Angela, Spam, Jessica, Spam, Mom.. spam. An address stood out and Bella blinked, leaning forward. "pixie33 at yahoo: Important!"

Bella choked on the coffee and set the can down. Alice? She had emailed her every day last year and never heard a word back. Why now?

Her fingers quivering on the trackpad, she clicked on the message. It was from Saturday.

"Bella, You're in danger. I don't want to scare you, but it's about Victoria. Edward had been tracking her and she tricked him. She's coming to Forks. I've been trying not to eavesdrop, honest. I haven't been able to see you lately but you're my sister and I can't not care. We'll be there soon.

Love, Alice"

Bella's hand clawed over her mouth as a mewing wail rose up in her chest.


	19. Chapter 19 So Much Worse

'

**19 – So Much Worse**

'

Paul would recognize the sound of that lame Rabbit anywhere.

_What the fuck did Jacob want?_

He wasn't in the mood for drama right now; he wanted to throw on some clothes after his quick post-patrol rinse-off, and head out to talk to Old Quil about tonight.

_Or maybe he should talk to Billy Black first?_

Briskly rubbing his hands through his wet hair as he considered that angle, he yanked open the bathroom door and haphazardly wrapped the towel around his hips as he stalked across the room.

He was just reaching for the knob when Jacob barged in. Paul froze at the scent of stress, worry… _fear_? in the younger wolf.

Jacob reared back to an exaggerated halt, so distracted that he must not have sensed Paul on the other side of the door.

Paul met Jake's wide-eyed gaze with instant intensity. "_Talk_."

"Paul, wait. Dude you gotta listen to me first. Kay? You're gonna want to flip, but you-"

A suffocating sense of dread rose up, like a huge fist around his heart. _Bella_.

And just like that, Jacob was pinned by the neck against Paul's freshly painted walls.

To his credit Jacob didn't struggle against Paul's vice-like grip. Smart boy: when prey struggled, it only made it _so much worse_. "You'd better start fucking talking quickly, pup," Paul leaned in and hissed inches from his face.

"Sh-she's fine Paul. Bella's okay," Jacob wheezed.

Paul's eyes darted suspiciously between Jacob's beseeching gaze. Deciding he was telling the truth, Paul abruptly – and none too gently – released him and paced into the room. His muscles were still quivering. _Get yourself together._

"She got an email. She just called me on my cell when I was on the way to the store, and I came right over," Jacob gasped hesitantly, pushing himself off the wall.

Paul spun around on him and glared. _Why did she call Jacob, and not him?_ Realizing the most obvious answer to that – no phone - Paul frowned and turned back around, willing his body to calm itself and listen. "Shit, Jake. If you don't fucking spill it … I swear I'm gonna hafta.."

Jacob dove in. "She got an email from the leeches. The Cullens," he spit the word and Paul couldn't help his own involuntary snarl. "_They're coming back_."

Paul whirled around, simultaneously going into an aggressive crouch as a roar ripped from his deep within his chest that made Jacob flinch. Paul's eyes glittered as he slunk forward. "_What_?"

"They were tracking that redhead and found out she is coming for Bella. We were right," Jacob breathed thin and quiet, his gaze trained intently on Paul's quivering body. "They're coming back for Bella."

Paul choked. He was beyond words. Fuck the fact they were fucking bloodsuckers and their mortal enemies. Something entirely different made instinct deep within him very disturbed. He prowled forward, lifting his lips from his teeth as his hands curled into fists.

Jacob squared his shoulders and talked fast at the wolf facing him down. "You gotta listen to me, Paul. I _told_ you… Believe me, I want nothing more than to fucking rip their heads off and ask any questions to a purple cloud of vampire rot. But that's not what she needs," Jake continued, his voice low and calm. Like a fucking Alpha. "I'm trying to help you, dude."

_Help_ him? The thought made Paul pause. "Why?"

"Because I love her," Jacob whispered.

Paul growled low, grinding his teeth against springing for the kill right there.

"_Like a sister_. C'mon everyone knew that's all we really ever had anyway," Jacob's voice broke and he unpredictably tore his eyes off the predator before him, tipping his head back to the ceiling as he let out a slow heavy breath.

Paul frowned and turned on his heel, instinctively giving Jacob his privacy with his feelings. Paul might be an asshole, but he recognized pain when he saw it. And he knew all too much about that kind of pain.

After a minute, Jacob continued in a voice that was uncharacteristically raw. "In two fucking days you brought back the girl that I love," his whisper was also accepting. "Watching her painting yesterday – all happy and laughing… and strong..."

Paul glanced at him over his shoulder.

"I couldn't do that. I'm not what she needed," Jacob's quiet voice was unadorned.

Paul took a deep breath and turned his back again to pace to his chest of drawers. "She'll always need her best friend, Jacob," he murmured under his breath, quiet enough that they could both pretend he hadn't said it.

Jacob cleared his throat and his voice forced itself back to its regular timber. "That fucking asshole broke her. Tore her down. And she's tough, Paul. I mean you gotta know that. _Sam_ didn't even wanna get between us yesterday and she just fucking breezed right by me like I was some goddamn Chihuahua."

Paul's lips twitched in spite of himself as he pulled open the top drawer. _She was._

"So you gotta tread lightly with this shit. That's what I'm sayin'. That leech is a mind-fuck."

Paul turned around and considered Jacob for a moment thoughtfully. "How?" he asked softly.

"Now fuck, I don't know! I mean it's like that freak did something to her head. They all did," Jacob grimaced, pushing a hand through his hair and leaning against the wall.

Paul nodded slowly and turned back around, resting his hands on the drawer. "You think it's a leech thing?"

"Dunno. Not all, but some. They do some kinda woo-woo spell shit on humans, right?"

Paul swallowed. "How is she?" he asked, trying to quell the thirst for violence slowly coiling in his gut.

Jacob took a deep breath. "Ah… she was calm. She wasn't crying, but I could hear it in her voice."

"What could you hear, Jacob?" Paul crooned as his finger slowly traced the lip of the drawer.

"A little shake. I think she's scared. Sad. Confused," Jacob mused thoughtfully.

Paul bit his lip and felt the satisfying pop of his teeth break the skin. He idly wiped at the blood with his tongue. "Is she home?"

"Yeah I told her to come on down to the Rez. She said she wanted to take a shower or some shit. I think she just wants to get it together, you know? Think."

"Okay," Paul's voice was quiet. Velvet on steel. "I want the Council to talk to her father today. I don't want her spending another night off the Rez," he murmured. "_Especially_ now."

Paul heard Jake stand up and rub his hands on his jeans. "Yeah, totally. That'd be good. I'll talk to my dad."

Nodding once to the wall, Paul braced his hands on the chest of drawers and let his head hang, feeling the muscles in his back twitch. He tried to breathe through the suffocating morass of feelings swirling through him. _He had to be smart about this... if he could._

"I'll go talk to Sam first." Jacob took in a long deep breath and let it out with a gravelly growl. "The whole Pack's going to go ballistic. Fuck, she's _one of us _now. That leech can go fuck himself with that cold stone dick. She's _ours_."

"Yessss," Paul hissed slow and slick as his lips pulled back from his teeth. "_Mine_."

Jacob grunted in assent as Paul heard his hand on the doorknob.

"Thanks, Jake," Paul whispered suddenly, squeezing his eyes shut and pulling a cooling breath through his nose.

"Dude, _you know_ I know how you feel right now," Jacob snarled sympathetically through his teeth as he pulled the door closed behind him.

Paul shook his head slowly as he heard Jacob jog down his porch steps.

_No, Jacob. You really don't._

_'_

* * *

><p><em>'<br>_

_Oh, God… why __now__?_

Bella sat slumped on the edge of her bed.

She had stood under the shower until the last of the warm water had trickled into ice. Then she had pulled her hair up, wrapped herself in towel and collapsed in her room.

Bella pressed her face into the tee shirt she held tenderly in her hands and breathed deeply. It was Paul's. He had left it this morning along with his work boots – kicked off by her bed as a casual, but she was fairly certain _intentional, _reminder of who she had spent her night with. (She had inadvertently heard –aloud or in her head, she wasn't sure - a clear complaint about Jake's scent in her room.)

And she was grateful. Grateful to have his comforting memory to soothe her and remind her that she might just have the strength to face the demons and ghosts of her past after all.

She let the shirt fall with her hands back into her towel-clad lap. But was it wrong to want just an itty bit of respite to acclimate to more changes than she could count? And the peace to bask in the sultry satiation of Paul's arms before facing them?

Bella smiled and let out a long slow breath, remembering their lovemaking this morning as her chest expanded to compensate for all the joy, hope and warmth with which he filled her. She was undeniably mated to him – every fiber in her being knew that – but in addition to that…

_Bella was falling in love_.

In many ways she was shocked by how different she felt after so little time with him. When she had first read that email this morning, all the old tapes and memories had piled on her with the suffocating intensity of a flashback. But as she stood under the misting drizzle of the lame showerhead, she realized that those thoughts and memories had actually been archived already. Shelved in a section of her heart and mind like a documentary on the history channel: something she could turn off at any time, and who's droning narrative was fast becoming irrelevant to her life.

She was whole, happy, and looking forward to becoming her own person again. Yesterday had been just a taste: she had painted Paul's house -picked the color, directed the pack how she wanted it. Chased Jake with the paint roller. Laughed with Emily at the antics of the guys. Sat between Paul's knees on the porch and giggled at his whispering snide commentary on Embry for the dinner break. A part of the Pack. It was the first time in her life that she felt part of anything– something that didn't need her to change, something that accepted her. Something that encouraged her to reach out and grow. And Bella had been looking forward to this day: a day with a new coat of paint. A celebration with the Pack. _Another day with Paul._

And _Edward_ was ruining it. Again.

Tears of anger and frustration leaked down her cheek…

"Hey Bells, how'd it go wh-"

Bella was so engrossed in her thoughts that Charlie's voice stuttering to a stop outside her open bedroom door shocked her upright.

_He wasn't supposed to be home until this afternoon!_

Charlie was frozen, just outside her door, his eyes blinking at her in shock. He dropped his bag with a thump and took slow steps into her room.

"Baby, what happened?" his voice dropped to a quivering timber: the one she had first heard the other day when he talked about Harry.

Bella stood up and nervously tossed Paul's shirt on the bed while she sniffled and impatiently wiped her tears away with a back of a hand. "N-nothing, dad… I-I was…"

"_Bullshit_," he spat, the vein in his head popping out as his gaze washed incredulously over her neck and shoulders.

_Oh __hell__. _

She had only glanced at the mirror, but while the enthusiastic bruising was no longer sore, the spreading shadows were blatantly served up in all their second-day glory by the alabaster cast of her skin.

Charlie stopped a foot away and his eyes snapped to hers, his transparent gaze roiling with fear and confusion… and paternal rage.

Bella bit her lip, humiliation and the sense of imminent disaster making her choke.

When he spoke his words were hard and clipped. "What happened, Bella."

Bella licked her lips. "Nothing, dad. I was just-"

What the hell could she say_? I was just having sex with my boyfriend – who incidentally showed amazing restraint because he's strong enough to snap me in two without thinking about it – and it got a little rough? Not his fault though because we were both really into it because we're not just lovers, I'm his imprint. Oh, and he's actually part wolf - a really dominant one - so it's totally normal?_

When her words died hopelessly on her tongue, Charlie's gaze swept her room with cop eyes that took in the huge tee shirt balled up on the rumpled sheets and then snapped to the work boots kicked off haphazardly at the bed's foot.

Bella instinctively turned to glance around the room to see what he saw, and Charlie's cool, callused hand clasped her shoulder.

He urged her fully around to look at her back, a gentle finger running over her shoulder blades. "_Jesus Christ_," he hissed.

Bella turned back around frantically, "Dad, it's not what it looks like."

"The hell it is!" Charlie's face was purple, his lips pressed together severely. Without another word he whipped around and stalked out of her bedroom, his boots clunking loudly on the wood stairs two at a time.

_This was so, so, so not good._

Grabbing up her robe and pulling the towel off her hair so it fell down to disguise some of the marking on her neck, Bella stumbled down the stairs after him.

"Dad! Wait…" she called out feebly as she tied the belt around her waist. She tripped on the bottom step.

"**Black! What in all hell did your boy do to my daughter**!" Bella heard him roar.

She stumbled into the kitchen to see Charlie gripping the phone with a white-knuckled grip, his face contorted in rage.

"Dad! It's _not Jake_," Bella cried hoarsely as she threw herself forward. "Jake's not my boyfriend." She stopped in front of him, uneasily pulling the collar of her robe around her neck and wrapping her arms around herself in abject humiliation.

Charlie looked up from the phone with a frown and then unceremoniously slammed it back in the cradle on the wall. "**Who did this**!"

Bella had pulled her bottom lip completely into her mouth as she shook her head slowly. Tears flooded her eyes - her father had never, ever yelled at her. _It wasn't supposed to happen like this._

At her tears, Charlie's face softened and he took slow, halting steps toward her like she was a wounded bird.

His hands were trembling when they reached out and held her shoulders. "Baby. _Baby girl_. I'm not mad at _you_."

Bella squeezed her eyes shut and desperately tried to smother her sob.

"Tell me, now. Who is your boyfriend, Bells," his voice was hushed, gentle as he gingerly pulled her to his chest and held her head to his shoulder.

"It's not like that dad. I really like him," Bella whimpered into his stiff uniform shirt.

"Shh, of course you do, baby girl. Who?" he crooned.

"P-Paul," Bella whispered, relaxing slightly at the feel of his name across her lips.

"Who?"

"Paul… Jake's friend," Bella sniffled, being lulled by the comfort of her dad's slow strokes in her hair. "_I love him_," she breathed in wonder, realizing it was true.

"Paul _Meraz_?"

Bella didn't miss the sharp edge to his voice that he unsuccessfully tried to dull. She pulled back and looked into his eyes, confused.

Charlie's gaze darted between her eyes and she saw fury ignite in their depths. He pressed his lips together and drew a long, slow breath through his nose.

Bella's eyes widened as understanding came just a little too late. _He still thought… he thought Paul had -_

Gulping arduously like he was trying to swallow a golf ball, Charlie's face reddened. His body was quivering he was struggling so hard to contain his anger. "It's not your fault, baby. That boy knows exactly what he's doing, alright. It's not your fault."

Bella pushed back from him with a horrified expression, but he didn't release her. "_No! Dad!_ It's not like that… _honest_! He's my _boyfriend_!" she choked.

He was obviously trying to speak gently, but it came out a harsh and frightening monotone. "Of course, baby. But... that boy isn't like _Jake_ or… your _friends_. He doesn't ... " Charlie stopped and clenched his jaw. "Look, I want you to get dressed and we can take you on down to the hospital and get you checked out, kay? That's what we're gonna do. And I'm gonna press charges. You don't have to-"

"_No_!" Bella cried, jerking herself out of her father's hands. "It's not like th-!" Bella stopped mid-word at the knock on the door.

As her gaze snapped to the front of the house, an undeniable, soothing warmth melted over her._ Paul_.

Followed by a frigid wash of fear._ Oh, no, this was about to get so much worse._

"Wait here," Charlie hissed, stalking into the living room.

Bella trailed behind him, wiping frantically at her tears.

Charlie yanked open the door several inches, blocking it pointedly with his arm and body. "_Get off my property_," he spat without introduction.

"I'd like to see Bella, please," Paul's smooth bass slipped into the room with a sleek, serpentine power.

"She doesn't want to see you," Charlie bit out, squaring his shoulders. "Ever."

"_Dad_!" Bella admonished, running forward.

"Bells, go upstairs," he snapped in a short clipped tone as he turned and glared at her in warning. "**Now**!"

But when Charlie turned back around he found Paul standing just inside the door. Bella wasn't even sure how he'd done it.

Gasping his name in relief, she was suddenly throwing herself into his solid, bare torso, his strong arms wrapping securely around her. The touch soothed both of them and she melted against his chest, hearing his low contented rumble in response.

_Paul_. All was again right with the world.

Until she heard was the harsh metallic rattle of a shotgun being cocked.

Like lightning, she was pushed behind Paul's massive back, his hand holding her firmly but gently by her waist. That peaceful hum in his body instantly ripped into deep, ominous growl.

"Bella! Bella, get out of the way!" her dad yelled.

"_No! Dad!_**"** her cry was laced with a shriek and at the same time that large hot hand pushed her with just enough strength to clear her 10 feet away, her bare feet skidding on the hardwood floor.

Shocked by the head-spinning movement, Bella watched Paul draw himself up to his full height. His lip lifted on one side in an involuntary sneer.

"Get the hell out of my house," Charlie rasped.

Paul's entire body was vibrating now, but his voice was slow and calm. "Bella's not safe here, Chief Swan."

Charlie's face was beet red. "**The hell she's not!** You're the only danger in this house. And I'm pressin' charges! Get the hell out!"

Bella's hysteria metastasized into a suffocating paralysis as she gaped at the horrific vision of her _mate _in the cross hairs of her father's shotgun. Paul cut his eyes over to her, with a frown. He was _feeling _her terror and anguish … but she couldn't help it: it was was well beyond smothering now.

Paul tucked his chin down so that his eyes looked up from under a menacing brow as his gaze snapped back to Charlie.

"I'm taking her with me," Paul whispered all silk cloak and daggers to the end of her father's rifle.

A wave of panic rose like a tsunami in hiccuping sobs as Bella's head whipped between them frantically.

"The hell you are! What in Jesus Christ's name do you want with my daughter!" Charlie sputtered, his rifle quivering slightly with his rage.

Paul growled sounding far too animalistic to be human. "She's _**mine**_." He blinkingly shook his head as if he were dizzy: and Bella knew he was losing control to the wolf.

"Get out," Charlie yelled pulling the gun up higher on his shoulder.

At that telltale movement, all hesitancy snapped and she lunged at her father. "_**Dad**_**!**" she shrieked.

"Get back Bells!" He yelled urgently. His hand shot out and roughly shoved her away with enough force that she stumbled and fell backwards onto the stairs with a involuntary cry of pain.

Blinking, Bella desperately looked up at the sound of a rifle and loose ammunition skittering across the floor. Paul was behind Charlie, pulling his feet up off the floor against his huge body by twisting the man's hands behind his back.

"You _ever_ touch her like that again, and I'll kill you," Paul hissed darkly beside Charlie's ear.

Her father's face was contorted in both pain and panic.

Bella picked herself up off the stairs and stumbled forward, tears streaming down her face. "Paul. Paul… let him go," she whispered desperately.

Paul's eyes snapped to her feral, fierce and luminescent.

_Wolf_.

"_P-Please_. Let him go," she pleaded, hushed.

Throwing her father to the side so he stumbled, Paul turned and faced her, his chest rising and falling with the deep breaths through his nose.

Bella threw herself the last few steps, and collapsed with relief in his arms. "P-Paul," she murmured over a hitching sob. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry." His touch instantly soothed the anxiety and bone-deep ache, but left an icy dread in the pit of her stomach.

Paul's huge hands cupped the back of her head tenderly as he leaned down to breathe in her scent. The wolf in him snuffled over her face as a soft whine pooled in the back of his throat.

Bella's hand came up to his jaw. "God, I'm sorry. So sorry," she murmured senselessly, beside herself with a throbbing worry.

The sound of her father behind her, snapped her head back in the game. "9-1-1? Officer Charles Swan – I need two units at –"

Bella gasped and grabbed both of his cheeks fiercely. "You need to leave, Paul," she gulped frantically.

Paul's swimming feral eyes snapped clear and hard to hers, his face instantly intense.

Bella licked her lips and swallowed. "You need to _go_," she said again, this time firmly as she heard her father slam the phone down behind her. "P-please go… _now_."

Paul's involuntary lupine whimper of pain broke her heart.

She smoothed his cheek vigorously, the hurt in his eyes like shards of glass in her chest. But she _needed _him to be safe and that meant getting him out of here. _Quickly_.

"I'm s-sorry." Her voice hardened with command, "leave, Paul." With that, Bella stepped back and he released her with trembling hands.

His eyes stayed locked disbelievingly with hers - stinging with the same look of betrayal she had seen when she first met him.

Bella wrapped her arms around her body to keep herself from shattering into a million pieces.

Paul swallowed and without another word, he abruptly turned from her and strode toward the door.

Bella bit her lip as she watched her father trail him. "You step one foot on my property - or so much as look at her - again and I'll shoot you, I swear," he hissed as he slammed the door behind her mate.

_Her mate! PAUL!_

She'd had all she could stand. Bella burst into tears and scrambled up the stairs.

The sharp ring of the telephone made her freeze in her bedroom doorway.

She heard Charlie's stomping step cross the floor. It sounded like he ripped it off the wall. "_Yeah_?"

Bella crept back out into the hallway.

"**Billy- look** –" his voice vaulted immediately into fury before what was said on the other end brought him abruptly to a halt.

"**No, I know. It's that goddamn Meraz kid! **I leave for the weekend and –"

Bella sat down on the top step, wishing she had werewolf senses so she could hear the voice on the other side of the phone. She might not have been able to hear even her father from the kitchen except he was yelling.

"**Complicated?** Nope, Black. I think _it's real simple_. He took advantage of her!** Of my daughter! **-"

"**No**, '_he's her boyfriend_,'" he mimicked Bella with a high sissy voice that made her scowl.

"**Then why in Christ's name is she crying and all black and blue-**

"**Sounds like you're defending him!**

"**Yes you are! You ****know ****that kid's trouble!" **There was a clattering crash - it sounded like Charlie had thrown that empty pan in the sink.

**"**Now wait just a goddamn minute there, Black. I'm _not _the guys at the station, I _know _that kid's had it rough. Christ I was _there_, remember? I was the goddamn cop that arrested that filthy excuse for a man and called EMS for that kid. **But that don't make it right for him to be messin' with my girl!**

The longest stretch of silence ticked by to almost a minute. Bella leaned forward, afraid she was simply not hearing.

Her father's voice suddenly hissed sharp, ugly and dangerous from the kitchen. "I'll be there today, because _Harry_ deserves better than this. **But so help me God, I'm getting a restraining order on that asshole. And on YOU TOO if you so much as look at me. I'm through with this Black**!"

SLAM!

Bella's hand clapped to her mouth as she stood unsteadily, feeling nauseous as she balanced against the wall. She shuffled heavily into her room feeling like her entire body had been drained of blood, of life, of breath.

Shutting the door silently, she turned and fell on the bed, grabbing up Paul's shirt and curling into a ball around it. She buried her face in his warm, soothing smell as soul-wrenching sobs shook her body.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Paul sat wedged between Sam and Jacob in the special section reserved for Elders, the Clearwaters, Pack and their significant others. He stared at his mate, as he had for the entire service for Harry Clearwater. She was sitting across the way beside her father with the rest folks from the Rez and Forks in the stupid little fold up chairs that had been set up on the grass by First Beach.

_She should be beside __him__._ Fuck, even Jared's girlfriend Kim got to sit beside him, and she was just a high school crush.

Not even his _mate_.

_Certainly not his __imprint__._

Paul growled yet another time deep in his throat and Sam turned ever so slightly to hiss out of the side of his mouth. "_Shut it,_ _Paul."_

_Fucking, __fucking__ Alpha._

Paul had all but been trussed with layer after layer of imperative until he could barely even move. He sat ramrod straight, his hands on his thighs and stared at his mate while he ground his teeth slowly.

Bella was slumped beside her father, head down, cheeks pale and splotched, eyes red from tears. Swan's arm was tensely resting over the back of her chair with overt possessiveness.

Bella was so close Paul could feel her_. Feel her desolation. Fear. Worry. Confusion. Aching yearning._

It was the latter that allowed Paul to stay in his seat and take each next breath. _She wanted to be beside him just as much as he wanted her there._ This truth was lodged, immutable, deep inside his being.

Charlie stood up then for his part in the service as one of Harry's best friends. Officially dressed in his uniform, he wore his pistol conspicuously at his hip as he made his way to the podium, pointedly ignoring the Council and Elders – and Billy Black – seated off to the side.

As soon as he stood, Bella's gaze darted up and locked with Paul's. It was like being tasered and gutted and injected with a heavy dose of some wildly addictive substance ...all at the same time.

Her eyes were bloodshot, agonized, desperate, worried. Her lip quivered as if flirting with yet more tears.

_And hopelessness._

Instantly Paul shifted his weight to stand and both Sam and Jacob's hands snapped in unison to his thighs.

Emily leaned in from where she sat behind Sam and her delicate fingers rested on his shoulder.

"_Shh, don't do it, Paul_. It will make it so much worse," she whispered soothingly.

He didn't want her touch. He didn't want anyone's touch.

_Except Bella's._

"Don't fucking touch me," he ground out uncharitably, a barely articulate snarl from the back of his throat. Emily removed her hand with a soft sigh.

Bella held his gaze for a moment more before she collapsed her face in her hands, sobbing piteously. The pale-faced woman beside her thought she was upset about Harry and ostensibly soothed her with a little cluck that made Paul want to rip her head off.

Charlie moved back to the audience from the front– presumably having spoken, Paul hadn't heard a word all night since he'd been too busy counting Bella's rapid, stuttering heartbeats - and pointedly stepped in front of Paul's view of Bella. Then, measured and calm, Swan turned and sliced through the section of Council members and family and met Paul's gaze with a searing glare.

Paul's lips peeled silently back from his teeth.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Sam was sweating from the effort and focus it took to keep Paul under his command and Emily's hand on his quivering shoulder was the only thing keeping him grounded enough to do so. He swallowed thickly and turned behind him to where Emily was pressing her cheek to the side of his head.

"I-I can't, Em - I'm gonna lose him, kay? We're gonna take him out of here. Don't follow us. Keep the girls away," he whispered hoarsely as his Pack mate trembled so hard beside him that his chair rattled.

At her distressed sound of concern, he reached his hand up and covered hers. "Please," he croaked.

"I love you," she whispered, and Sam closed his eyes into her gifted breath of respite from bearing witness to the incinerating torment beside him.

Opening his eyes, he leaned forward and raised his eyebrows toward Jacob on the other side of Paul. The boy nodded once, his jaw set and eyes steel. They weren't looking forward to this.

Both he and Jacob had spoken informally with Old Quil and Billy Black about talking to Bella's father.

And they were both equally floored to find out that the Council had already decided: they were just going to 'let it play out.' Apparently consensus thought Charlie Swan was too much of a wild card, being an outsider without the benefit of being raised in the legends, loyalties and ways of their people. His grief-stricken state over Harry and his badge only sealed the decision.

In essence, they were making Paul choose between his Pack and his imprint and Sam said so.

Old Quil argued rightly that Paul's mate _was_ Pack and that she, as much as anyone, was invested in their secrets being kept. He used images of the disaster it would wreak upon the Tribe and her mate himself if werewolves were discovered to be fact and not fiction.

It wasn't a good enough excuse for Sam.

It wasn't even cogent to Jacob.

For their wolves it went way beyond controlling Paul. Beyond the shameful blind eye of the Tribe to his childhood only to turn their backs on him now. Beyond simple right and wrong, honorable and fair.

It was about _Pack_. And Bella was _theirs_.

Only Billy's subtle plea for patience allowed both he and Jake to stay in control. Somehow he made it clear to them with Quil none the wiser: this was a temporary stumbling block that was crucial to preventing even worse. Billy was on their side, he had whispered as they left.

Sam watched Jacob glance back and subtly signal Jared and Embry. He was slowly taking his rightful place and Sam was fucking thrilled. He just wished_ to high hell_ that Jake had taken over as Alpha _before _what was coming this evening.

Suddenly Paul jerked and stiffened eerily like his body had just grounded 120 kiloamps.

Sam glanced up to see Charlie Swan urging Bella out of his seat with a restrictive grab to her arm, whispering tersely in her ear. Her face was deathly pale and her haunted eyes wildly locked on Paul as her father firmly tugged her down the aisle, out of the service.

Paul stood up easily, shredding the invisible commands binding him like tissue paper.

Sam stood with him. "C'mon, Paul. Let's go get her," he whispered quickly as he grasped him by the upper arm.

Too distracted to scent the lie, Sam's traitorous words soothed Paul's wolf enough so that he submitted to being lead.

Jacob, Jared and Embry stood silently and followed.

Paul walked in a sort of feral daze beside him, his muscles vibrating like a hummingbird's wings against the Alpha order, his breath heaving and erratic but his attention razor sharp. Sam realized he was monitoring his imprint.

Straining, Sam could just make out Bella's soft sobs. "N-no, dad. I n-need to stay… p-please.." she whimpered, barely audible above the sound of a car door opening.

Paul froze at the sound.

"_Now_," Sam hissed.

As one Jacob, Jared and Embry jumped Paul, grabbing him roughly in three sets of hands.

"**Paul! Stop**!" Sam bellowed low, putting all he had into it as the Pack fought to drag their furiously struggling brother off into the forest.

Paul was snarling and flailing so hard that Sam had to wrestle his legs as they grappled against the aggression of the Pack's best and most fierce fighter.

Inhuman sounds ripped from Paul's throat as they pushed him up against a huge oak tree, his teeth bared and gnashing out viciously. Paul's gaze was all yellow savagery glowing white-hot with fury…yet torment also swam liquid in those bone-chilling eyes.

Sam bowed his head and closed his eyes against such suffering as he grudgingly unbuttoned the sleeves of his dress shirt and rolled them up over his forearms.

He had to make this quick and incapacitate him before he broke the command. Paul, the man, was barely controllable. Paul, the wolf, would take on the whole pack. And then he'd run straight to Bella. Even if she could calm him so he didn't kill her father, it would cause a disaster with far reaching implications. For all of them, no matter which turn it took.

Sam tensed his jaw. _He was Alpha: he __had __to this._

Sam took several steps back and lunged, throwing his body in to the punch. Paul's face snapped back with a crack.

Paul's head whipped back around with a bloody snarl of vehemence.

Sam took a deep breath, steeling himself. He prayed Paul fell quickly... but he knew better. He was the toughest of them all.

With an ear-splitting howl, Paul twisted from Jacob's grip, slashing with clawing fingers as they they all struggled to reign him in.

"Leah, help them," Sam murmured numbly. He had heard her following them out to the woods.

She choked and then slipped in obediently, even as a werewolf she was too gracefully feminine for Sam's liking to be involved in such brutality. She wordlessly held his ankle, looking up into Sam's eyes with tearing disbelief.

Sam growled in shame and landed the next punch squarely in Paul's solar plexus silencing him and making him double over with a pained groan.

Grunting with the effort, Sam hauled back and delivered the next punishing blow to Paul's quivering body.

And the next one.

And the next...


	20. Chapter 20 Leaving

'

**20 Leaving**

'

Bella could barely breathe. _Literally_. It felt like there were two fists clenched around her lungs.

"Dad… dad stop," she gasped as her father pulled her toward his cruiser. "I need to stay." Because she did. She _needed_ to see Paul. **Had to** in fact if she wanted to pull in her next breath. Paul's anger, frustration and frantic yearning was eating away at her from the inside out like she had just chugged a quart of pure hydrochloric acid.

"Nope, we're leavin' Bells," was his terse reply. "I did good by Harry and I'm afraid of what I just might do to that boy if I have to watch him starin' at you like that any longer."

Bella yanked her arm out of her father's grasp. "No! I' need to sta-" Bella's gagged on her words as her entire body seized in shock.

_Paul. Something was very, very wrong._

Just then a hoarse inhuman howl of agony peeled back from the dusk.

"**No**!" Bella turned and ran blindly toward the sound. "No! No! Paul!" she screeched senselessly, delirious with worry. Part of her mind registered her father's hands grappling her around her waist, as she furiously struggled, arms and legs scrabbling in an overwrought frenzy.

"Paul! No!" she cried.

Her raving was suddenly silenced by what felt like a blow to the stomach. Bella doubled over gasping, and went limp in Charlie's arms.

"Paul," she whimpered miserably and then vomited stomach acid and the remnants of the orange juice they had made her drink at the hospital earlier. Bella hadn't been able to force any food past her lips today.

She was barely aware of Charlie's worried unintelligible murmurs and being carried to the car. Bella hid her face in her hands curled up in a ball in the front seat of her father's cruiser. She wept as she rocked her body back and forth in abject anguish.

It felt like hours later… suddenly it _stopped_.

And the emptiness was even more terrifying.

She couldn't feel Paul's burning worry and raging fury. She couldn't feel his craving want. She was alone. Alone with her own heartbreak and the ravenous pining ache she had struggled with all day.

Bella peeled her hands from her face and sat up on the seat. What did it mean? Was he dead? Oh, Paul…

"Is it drugs, Bella?" her father's voice made her head whip around. She had forgotten he was in the car. She had forgotten she was even in a car. She had forgotten everything in her mind-numbing fear for her mate.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Did he give you something, honey? Is that what all this is about?"

Bella sat up a bit more and wrapped her arms around herself, leaning her head back on the headrest. Her entire body was shaking.

"Look, I won't be mad, honest. We'll get you some help. You-you've always been a good kid. T-too good, it's all my fault…uh… I shoulda been keeping an eye out better. You j-just seemed like you always had it so together that I-"

"It's not drugs, dad," Bella cut short his stammering foray into fatherhood. She had already had to endure a humiliating conversation with Renee who suddenly decided she would play mother and read her a whole chapter out of 'hip modern girlfriend mom.' Bella had barely been able to stomach it. Okay there might be just a little bit of bitterness there for all those years of playing parent to her parents.

"But this don't seem… natural. Seems like drugs or .."

"It's not drugs, dad," Bella repeated firmly. "And if you want to make sure, just check out the blood test results from the clinic." To keep the very tenuous peace, she had grudgingly gone to the hospital and endured still more mortification. But at least she had gotten birth control out of the deal.

"So what was that back there then? Do you want me to take you to emergency?"

"No," Bella said curtly and stared out the window at the darkness and the woods. She was so very worried about Paul that she just didn't have the strength to play this game anymore. She had always been the "good girl," her father was right. Always done what was expected of her. That was about to change.

The rest of the car ride was heavy with a loaded and suffocating silence. Bella was peevishly glad.

They pulled into the driveway beside her truck and Bella immediately hopped out of the car. Wordlessly she climbed the steps and opened the front door. Once inside she went straight up to her room and closed the door. She quickly shed the dress she had worn for the funeral and shimmied into her jeans and pulled on a baby doll tee and her favorite flannel shirt. She pulled out her backpack and stuffed another change of clothes into it and then opened the door to cross to the bathroom.

Her father was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall. "Where 'you goin' Bells?"

"Paul's. I'm spending the night there." Bella said evenly and with only the slightest hesitation, she stepped past him and turned on the bathroom light.

"No, you're not," her father announced, folding around to lean against the doorway as he watched her grab up her toothbrush and shampoo.

"Yes I am." She turned back to him and pressed her lips together.

"No, you're not, Bells. I'm putting my foot down. That boy doesn't give a rat's ass about you. You're a conquest… like every other girl for fifty miles. I'm not gonna see you get hurt like this." Charlie subtly moved his body so that it was completely blocking the doorway. "He's trouble, honey."

Bella took a deep breath. "You don't understand, dad."

"No, I do. You don't. You said you love him, right?"

Bella nodded automatically even though it was a rhetorical question.

"_How can you freakin' be in love with a boy you just met this weekend_? He's playin' you honey. Saying whatever he hasta to get in your-"

"Oh, God …please don't go there." Bella winced. She was so not going to have this discussion with her dad.

"Alright. But you ain't goin."

"Or what… you'll lock me in the bathroom? Dad, I'm turning 19 next month. I'm legally an adult. You can't make me stay. You're the cop - you know that." Bella pleaded.

Her father shook his head stubbornly. Why couldn't he have been so protective of her with Edward! She might have been able to use a father then.

Bella licked her lips. "Don't make me choose between you and him, dad," she said quietly.

The vein in his head popped out and he drew himself up like she had hit a nerve. When he finally spoke, his voice was a slick, cold hiss. "Oh, I'm going to make it real easy… you don't have to choose nothin'. You're going to live with your mom."

Bella stamped her foot and then turned around and threw the toothpaste and shampoo in the tub resentfully.

She whipped back around with her hands on her hips and glared at Charlie. "Get out of the way."

To his credit he moved and she breezed by him back to her room. He trailed along after her as she opened her closet door and pulled down her duffle bag and threw it on the bed. Bella began throwing clothes into it indiscriminately. "I'm moving out. I'll come back and get the rest of my stuff later tomorrow. " She turned on her father whose mouth was gaping in shock, she was almost yelling now. "I'm almost 19, you have no legal right. I'm not going to Florida and I'm finishing my senior year of school. And I'm moving in with Paul. You only have criminal jurisdiction there so you'd better stay off the Rez and not harass us! It's my life! My choices! My mistakes to make!"

When that fury had run its course, Bella felt drained. She quickly pressed her lips together to keep them from quivering.

Charlie's face had reddened incrementally, his eyes popping out of their sockets. Bella's mouth popped open in ... fear. She'd never seen such a look on her father's face!

He took an ominous step toward her, his hand raising up at his side, and Bella backed up worriedly, her lower lip trembling.

Charlie paused, his jaw tensing so that the cords stood out in his neck. Abruptly he turned on his heel.

"Fine! Fuck up your life! But I'm not gonna sit here and watch!" he yelled over his shoulder as he stomped furiously down the stairs. The front door slammed behind him.

Bella felt like she was in a daze.

As she numbly crossed to her window and watched him drive off, all she could think was that she had never heard her father say "fuck."

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Edward Cullen sat in the back of the Lexus they had rented and watched the trees go by. In a few short minutes his eyes would again behold his beloved. He would again smell her delectable scent that was so intoxicating that the mere memory made the venom drip down the back of his throat. He would hear her breath skating slick and excited over her soft pink lips and the thrum of her pulse in the hollow of her throat. His own still, dead heart felt like it fluttered like a leaf at the mere thought of her – dainty, fragile, precious. A lotus flower that had risen above the silt and mud of humanity to blossom pure and ethereal with a rosy delicacy.

_Ah, Bella._ Her mother had sublimely chosen her name.

It had been not even a year since he had sworn to himself he would leave her and never come back. And he counted himself such a moronic fool. To think he could be so selfless as to deny himself his only joy in this interminable life. She made him feel like the passion of life once again pulsed through his veins.

She belonged by his side. His love, his heart, his soul. Her redemptive touch made his life worth living. He had nearly driven himself mad these past months. Neglecting to eat until it was dangerous. Neglecting himself. He had single-mindedly stalked Victoria and she had led him on a merry chase, indeed.

He never would have thought to be so grateful to the vixen. Unknowingly, Victoria had gifted the excuse to return. And there was no question in Edward's mind that he would ever part from Bella's side again. He no longer had the strength.

"How are you doing, Edward?" Alice interrupted his thoughts.

Edward turned toward the front of the car. He realized his lips were curved up in a soft and sentimental smile. The first since he'd left her.

"You still can't see her?" Edward asked instead of stating the obvious.

"No. Not for weeks now – just snatches. It's so strange," she frowned. "Victoria is using the holes of my vision too, but I think we still have another day before they come."

"We're not goin' to stay and fight?" Jasper turned from where he was driving, his cool nonchalance belied the sparkle of eagerness in his amber eyes.

"Since Carlise and the others cannot come, we will not stand, Jasper. We must remove Bella from harm's way. She'll be with our family once again," Edward crooned.

"Think you can keep from eating her, this time Jas?" Alice laughingly batted at her mate's shoulder.

Jasper hissed his resentment out of the side of his mouth as he turned his eyes back on the road.

The small two story house came into view and Edward gasped at the lancing ache of longing. "Pull to the side here," he whispered, entranced by the galvanizing sensations and feelings that made him feel – for the first time in many months – like he was again drawing breath.

"At least Charlie's not home," Alice bounced once and turned around and smiled her excitement.

"Give me a moment first, Alice," Edward breathed quietly to her racing eager thoughts. She had missed her almost as much as he did. It was comforting to relive memories of his love through her bright, sharp mind.

She pouted but nodded once, squeezing Jasper's shoulder with verve.

Surprisingly just then the front door opened. Bella charged through, dropping a large bag on the porch, while she turned and locked the door.

Edward was speechless.

The sight of her was like the first sip of cool fresh water to a man who had just crawled across the widest of deserts. His gaze lovingly ghosted over her every inch as she struggled to carry the bag down the stairs, stumbling at the bottom. Edward immediately turned to exit the car.

"Hold," Jasper's hand clamped like a vise on his upper arm. "Something's wrong."

Edward's brow dipped in concern as he scanned through the images in Jasper's mind. Unlike with Alice's gifts, it was frustrating that he couldn't vicariously benefit from Jasper's abilities – they were too intuitive, empathic, visceral to be read in his mind.

Shaking off his brother, Edward opened the door. Could something be wrong with his Bella? _Oh, his poor love._ He would comfort any sadness away.

Bella threw the bag into the back of the truck along with her backpack and then turned to get in.

She squeaked and jumped back in shock at Edward who was now leaning against the door.

A small smile flirted with the corner of Edward's lips but he barely registered it. He was too entranced by the allure of her scent. He pulled a deep draw of her into his body, loathing to release it ever again.

_So sweet. _

A bouquet of ambrosial nectar, moist and luscious like the first fruits of summer pierced by a lover's teeth in a sultry humid dusk. Lush, enticing, exquisite. Yet under the ingenuous purity that she epitomized, a rich and savory wildness played that hadn't been there before. Her scent had matured in these short months Edward had realized. The warm exotic spiciness of a woman's sensuality rounded out her palatability and was highly erotic. Cinnamon, ginger and cardamom. His groin pulsed rhythmically in time with what would have been his silent heart's beat.

"E-Edward," Bella finally choked as she took another step back.

Her voice was like a drug injected under his cold stone skin. _Oh, speak again, bright angel. _He closed his eyes in bliss, as he heard the telltale sprint of her pulse. She had missed him too.

He opened his eyes and smiled down on his beauty.

_Bella_.

Shakespeare naturally fell from his lips as he took slow steps toward her.

_"O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!_  
><em>It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night<em>  
><em>Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear;<em>  
><em>Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear!<em>

Now standing right in front of her he extended his shaking hand to touch the soft ripe skin of her cheek.

_"So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows,_  
><em>As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows.<em>  
><em>"The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand,<em>

His fingers slipped down the graceful line of her arm, over the warmth of her to grasp her hand.

_And, touching hers, make blessed my rude hand._  
><em>Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight!<em>  
><em>For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."<em>

Bringing her hand to his lips he kissed her finger tips and indulgently drew another full lungful of that heavenly scent. He looked up at her wide eyes from over her hand. "Can you ever forgive me, love?"

Bella was blinking wildly and she took another step back. "Y-you l-left. Y-you.."

She was hurt, as she should be. He closed his eyes in regret. She would never know how much he hated himself for hurting her. He would spend the rest of their days together making it up to her.

"It was the blackest sort of lie, my darling. I thought only to protect you, but alas. I am far too selfish. I will never leave you again, unless you ask it of me. For I am not strong enough."

Bella was shaking her head and tears overflowed her eyes and he couldn't bear it. In the mercurial way of their kind, Edward had her wrapped in his arms. "I am so sorry, love. So very sorry. It was an asinine thing to do, indeed. One would think that 109 years would give me some sort of wisdom." She was weeping quietly now. He tipped her face up gently and looked into her watery eyes. "Hush love, all is well again." He lowered his lips to kiss her tears from the rosy glow of that cheek, silky, feather-soft and lush like a delicate apricot.

The touch of her skin, her sorrow on his lips nearly undid him and, without even intending to, in the next minute his mouth was pressed soundly against hers.

It was like fire had been let into his veins and his heart beat again. With a low moan of ardor, he pulled her closer to his body that had suddenly gone ravenous with want.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella couldn't breathe!

Edward's cold, insistent lips were shocking. They moved hard and demanding against hers as if they would suck out her very soul! She pushed against him with all her might, but in his vampiric strength he merely mistook her attempts at escape for fervor, and bent her more soundly to his body. She felt his arousal pressed against her and shuddered. It felt violating and repulsive to her at the same time.

_This wasn't the man who should touch her like this!_ How had she _ever_ wanted this?

She shrieked as loud as she could with her mouth smothered by his, and the sound reverberated in her head with an ache.

"Stop," she heard a low voice slip in between them and Edward's mouth released hers as he turned with a feral hiss.

Bella blinked in shock and gratitude at Jasper who had a hand clapped firmly on Edward's shoulder. He gave her that wry smile of his and nodded once at her in greeting. "I think she's had enough."

Edward's head whipped back around and his eyes went wide. He loosened his hold and his hand came up to stroke repentantly over her cheek. "I'm sorry, love. I was overcome."

Bella stepped back and this time he released her. She hit the side of her truck and ran her hands behind her against the rusted metal surface as if it could ground her.

"Bella! Oh, Bella!" Alice immediately threw herself into Bella and wrapped her in her childlike arms. "I missed you! I'm so sorry. We'll never leave again!"

Bella numbly wrapped her arms around her friend and pressed her face into the spiky black locks. Then she pointedly released her.

Alice pulled back and gave her a blinding smile and hopped once in excitement. Bella inched along the back of her truck, wishing she had just a little more room. Her gaze caught on Jasper who was watching her intently. Did he still want to eat her? The look in his eye was confusing.

"I-I need to go." Bella tried to smile, but it twisted more into a grimace.

_She had to get to Paul. Something was wrong._ That mantra was beating like her jackhammer heartbeat. The rest of this would have to wait until later. _How about never._

Edward frowned and reached out a hand to rest on her shoulder. Bella winced. _So much touching! She didn't want this touch._

"I can drive you wherever you want, love," he murmured, confusion finally starting to dim the wild ecstasy in his eyes.

"Not to the Reservation, though, right?" Bella pulled her shoulder up to her ear.

His face went blank. "Wh-"

"I know all about the wolves. They started phasing again after you left… Jacob, the guys and... I have to go see them _right now_…" she babbled awkwardly. She couldn't even think straight she was so out of her mind with worry.

A low growl rumbled in Edward's chest. "They're dangerous Bella."

Alice's hand was clapped over her mouth and she nodded enthusiastically. "Werewolves are violent. They don't have any control… they'll hurt you."

Bella frowned and subtly pulled away from Edward's hand. "They protected me. Kept me safe. They killed Laurent." Bella hated that her voice quavered. Her head was spinning with worry and she felt toxic from the amount of adrenaline pumping through her veins.

"I'll protect you. I'll keep you safe," Edward spoke, purposefully stepping forward and holding her shoulders with his resolve.

"No, I _need_ to go. _Now_. I can-… I can't talk to you right now. Another time. It's been a really long day and I had a fight with Charlie so I'm moving out of here so I can go live on the Rez. I just- I _really need to go_…" Bella looked up into Edward's butterscotch eyes with her desperate plea.

Edward's fingers delicately stroked her hair as his gaze washed over her face as if just now really seeing her. "You can come live with us, love. Carlise and the others couldn't come. They are in deep in South America out of cell range, otherwise they'd be here. But they've missed you so…"

His eyes suddenly snapped to her neck. His fingers pulled her hair away from her pulse. His gaze glazed before her eyes in rage. Bella reached up to move his hand, but he batted it away and pulled away her shirt, inching it down as a low grating noise ripped from his chest.

"Who did this," he bit out, fierce, dangerous.

"My boyfriend, obviously," Bella couldn't help the little bite of sarcasm in her voice. _She needed to leave._ **Now**.

His eyes snapped up to hers again in shock.

Her expression softened and she took a deep breath. "Look, Edward. We have stuff to talk about, but not now. _I CAN'T_. I _really_ need to go."

He shook his head slowly as he stepped closer. "No, I think you want to come with us, Bella. Come to my home, stay with me, love. I've missed you so very much. Don't you remember?" As he spoke his honey eyes darkened and the pupils yawned, drawing her in. His breath slipped cool and sweet over her lips and she inhaled his scent like some heady drug.

"B-but…I- I- n-need…" her eyes blinked as she struggled to remember something that was somehow very important.

"Shh, come with me, my dove," he leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead and she sighed softly at the sensation of her body melting into a placid warmth.

"Mmm… yess…" she murmured thickly.

He pulled back and smiled into her eyes with adoration. Bella felt her heart stutter. _Oh, Edward._ He was so heartrendingly beautiful that it was like speaking to an angel.

A grating and vicious snarl ripped through her languorous daze. With a gasp, Bella shook her head and turned to follow the gaze of the three vampires.

Jacob was prowling toward them, human and bare-chested, his body vibrating with the promise of violence.

"Jake!" she shrieked. Her mind snapped back from where it had been stretched into some different shape altogether. She pushed past the three granite statues and threw herself into his warm, hard chest. "Oh Jake!" she buried her face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Something's wrong! Something's wrong with _Paul_! I have to go to him! **Now**! But they won't let me!" Like a floodgate had opened, she was instantly sobbing again. She was frightened. Frightened of Edward, what he had done to her mind. She wanted Paul.

_Paul. Something was wrong._ She pulled back and looked into her eyes with her frantic entreaty.

His huge body quivered against her, but his eyes were black and kind. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her hairline with a protective possessiveness that made her feel suddenly very safe. _My pack. My best friend. Mine._

"Shh, Paul's fine, honey," he crooned and then looked up at the vampires before him. His face instantly hardened with cutthroat menace. "And I'm sure they'll **let** you do whatever you want, Bells," his voice twisted that statement with a biting threat.

A feral hiss snaked serpentine and raw from behind her and suddenly she was being pushed behind Jacob's crouching body.

"You _really_ don't want to do this, ass-wipe," Jacob snarled viciously, the tremors in this body making his shape blur.

Bella peered around Jacob's hulking frame to see Edward crouched with his lips pulled back from razor sharp teeth. Jasper changed his easy stance and stepped in, putting a calming hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I think you'd be right about that," he drawled casually to Jacob with a cautionary glance to Edward. "But look here. There's another one of our kind –"

"We know about the redhead," Jacob interrupted him uncharitably through gritted teeth.

Jasper's eyebrows shot up slyly and he pursed his lips with a little smirk. "Well, I guess you do. Do you know that she's comin' the day after next. And she's bringing an army of newborns along with her?"

Jacob straightened. "Newborns?"

Jasper nodded and took a step back to lean on Bella's truck. "Yep. Freshly made. Insatiable-like bloodlust. Wicked strength. No control."

Jacob went still and she could hear his mind working. "How many?"

Jasper tipped his head and pursed his lips. "Maybe 15? Too many for just us to fight, now. The rest of us couldn't come. We're only three. So we were just thinkin' to pick up the girl. Get her out of harm's way."

Bella grasped Jake's arm and looked up at him with wide frantic eyes. _Jake, don't let them take me! _

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his body. "We could take her out together. We're eight."

"I like them odds much better," Jasper's eyes glittered with his slow smile. "Ask your Alpha to call me and we can set up a meeting. Gotta be soon." Pulling a card from his front shirt pocket he pushed off the truck and held it out between his two fingers with 'come and get it' lift to his brow.

When Jake didn't move, Bella extricated herself and stumbled over to take the card.

Edward stepped forward and stopped her with his entreating eyes. "Bella, come with us," he whispered pitifully beseeching.

Her shaking hand pulled the business card from Jasper's fingers. She glanced up at his eyes that were strangely intense.

Swallowing Bella turned back to Edward. " No. I-I have to go…" she whispered softly. She turned back and implored Jake, "**Please**, Jake. Let's go _now_."

Jacob didn't tear his gaze from the glaring at Edward. He nodded briskly. "Sure thing, Bells." He hissed and strode purposely forward.

All three vampires, parted to let them pass. Bella skittered around the front of the vehicle and tore open the passenger side, throwing herself in.

She bounced on the seat with anxiety as Jacob scooted in beside her. Wordlessly he gunned the engine with the key in the glove compartment and he screeched out of the driveway.


	21. Chapter 21  Not Okay

'

**21 Not Okay**

'

As soon as the truck pulled out on the main road, Bella let out a sigh of relief and collapsed her head between her knees. She felt like she was going to puke. She took long slow breaths through her nose.

"'You okay, honey?" Jacob asked quietly, reaching out to rub his warm hand over her back.

Bella shook her head with a soft groan.

_She really, really wasn't._

On so many levels.

She sat back up and leaned her head against the headrest and audibly swallowed. "So Paul is okay?" Bella breathed to the ceiling of the cab and then glanced over to her best friend's stoic profile.

"Yeah, he's okay," Jacob said quietly, not taking his eyes off the road.

Bella sat up and a little more and studied him. His posture was stiff, both hands fiercely gripping the wheel. "Then why did I feel… Why do I..Oh, Christ…" Expelling a breath of frustration she collapsed back against the seat, closing her eyes against the nausea.

_Paul is okay, s_he tried to convince herself.

She was worn-out. And she wanted to take a shower; she felt so dirty.

Bella shuddered.

"You okay, hon?" Jacob's soft voice pressed.

"No, I'm really not," Bella gasped hoarsely against the rising bile in her throat. She swallowed thickly.

"He… he kissed me Jake. It was _horrible_ he didn't even ask or anything. He just did. And I couldn't make him stop. I-if Jasper hadn't… if - ….It was scary." Her words all ran together as she spoke, tears again burning her eyes.

Jacob's hand covered hers. His hand was trembling and hot.

She continued in a halting voice. "I j-just wanted to _leave_. This day had already gone down in the history books of suckiness, but then _he_ was suddenly beside my truck blocking me. _I just wanted to go to Paul."_ Bella pulled her hand out from under his and collapsed her face in her palms as her shoulders shook with more tears.

"And I t-told him I had to go and I t-tried to l-leave," she hiccupped. "I-I tried to leave and he held me by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes…" she sniffled juicily as she tried to keep speaking though her body was trying to expel the memory in her sobs. "Then he looked into my eyes and told me that _I wanted_ to go with him."

She broke down past the point of being able to use sentences. Jacob's hand smoothed soothingly over her thigh. Bella looked back up and gasped out the next words desperately.

_She had to get this out. It was far too terrifying to live in her breast. _

"And all of a sudden, I _wanted_ to go with him! I couldn't even remember _why I had wanted to leave him_!" Her voice shredded in hoarseness. "I _couldn't even remember that something was wrong with Paul!_" she cried achingly as if it were the most absurd and implausible thing in the world.

Because it _was_.

Jacob suddenly pulled over to the side of the road.

Surprised, Bella whipped around to see him with slow, clipped movements turn off the engine. His face was set in a severity, all the cords standing out on his neck. Wordlessly he opened the door and like lightning, he lunged into the woods by the side of the road and threw a punch into the nearest tree with a thunderous crack. Throwing his head back he let out an earsplitting roar.

Bella winced and sat up straight, her lips quivering while she watched Jacob strike the solid pine over and over like it was a punching bag. The poor fully grown tree finally surrendered and splintered, falling over with a crash into darkening woods.

Jacob let his head fall back, his shoulders heaving. He turned and slowly walked around the front of the truck, calmly shaking the blood from his fists, and opened the passenger-side door.

Bella turned to him expectantly, unable to keep the tremble from her body.

His huge hands reached in and cupped her jaw with a tender gentleness that belied the rage in those eyes.

"Bells, I'm so sorry." He leaned in and pressed his lips, sweetly to her brow. "We won't let him near you again, I swear," he murmured moist and warm over her skin. He pulled back and looked deep in her eyes with his conviction.

Bella's entire body relaxed in instant relief. "Promise?" she whispered. She realized in that moment that she _truly_ didn't ever want him near her again.

_Never_.

She felt violated both mentally and physically and was beginning to really understand just why that relationship had been so destructive for her.

Jacob nodded gravely somber, his gaze washing over her face in concern.

Part of her felt shame in the cowardly overwhelming flood of comfort from those words. But the majority of her just accepted his gifted mitigation with a wash of utter serenity. She didn't ever want to see Edward again – and she didn't even care how that happened – just as long as it did. She didn't have to be perfect or strong or independent _all_ the time. She realized she was doing something in accepting his help that she had never done in her entire life: relying on someone else. Family. _Pack_.

She leaned in and rested her forehead on his shoulder with a grateful sigh. "Thanks, Jake."

She pulled back and wiped her sopping and snotty face with the back of her sleeve and then reached into the glove compartment and pulled out the wipes. She was going to have to buy the things in bulk, she could tell. She smelled the sharp tang of blood on his hands, but again oddly it didn't turn her stomach. She pulled at one of his long muscular arms from where it rested protectively around her. She brought his bloody hand to her lap.

"I'm moving out from Charlie's," Bella whispered to his big knuckles as she pulled out a wet wipe and dabbed at the blood.

"Really?"he asked quietly, trying to look up into her eyes from where her head was tucked.

Bella bit her lip and nodded. The wounds were already healed before the blood had even dried, she moved to the other.

"The whole thing with Charlie is complicated. I mean all this stuff with Paul looks really bad on the outside, I guess." She looked up with a little nervous laugh and then returned her gaze to his hand. "But he wanted me to go live with Renee. I told him I was an adult and I was moving to the Rez."

She looked back up sharply, her eyes darting between his with anxiety. "Is that going to be a problem? I mean…"

Jacob laughed– a deep, free sound - and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his smooth chest. "Hell no! It solves so many fucking problems, you don't even know! You're Pack, honey. It's your Rez now." He pulled back and looked into her insecure eyes. "And Paul is going to be fucking crazy-assed thrilled."

At the mention of his name … something… flashed through Jacob's eyes. He pressed his lips together.

"Jacob, _what_? You said he was okay…" Bella asked tentatively, her whole body stiffening with angst.

"He is, hon. He is. Let's get going though," Jacob pulled away and submerged that glimmer of transparency in one of his sunny smiles.

It looked strained.

The cold wash of dread that she was getting so well-acquainted with rose up to make her nod stiffly and turn mechanically in her seat.

The rest of the drive was silent. Darkness had finally fallen and the looming outline of trees whispered by on the side of the road. Bella tried to focus on them, or the sound of the windshield wipers batting at the light misting drizzle, or the street lamps … or _anything_ _but_ the look on Charlie's face …or the oily, frightening memories of the afternoon … or the suffocating anxiety slowly coiling in her belly.

_What a horrible day._

She couldn't wait to see him. _Paul_. To feel his arms around her, warm and strong.

As they passed Emily and Sam's house, Jacob suddenly cleared his throat. "Bells, w-what did you feel?"

Startled from her thoughts, Bella picked her chin up off her hand which was resting on the window ledge and turned to Jake questioningly. "Huh?"

"You said you were worried about him because you felt something…." He carefully trained his eyes ahead. She didn't miss his thick swallow that made his adam's apple bob.

"Well when Charlie was dragging me out of Harry's service suddenly felt like I had been doused in gasoline or something, electrocuted and set on fire at the same time. Kinda sucked," she laughed softly to herself at the understatement of the year.

"Then I heard a wolf… I thought it was Paul so I tried to run into the forest." Bella gulped - remembering made a huge lump form in her throat. "My dad was grabbing me… I think… and then it felt like I had been socked in the gut by a railroad tie or something, and …I totally lost it."

She glanced up at Jacob who had closed his eyes, his mouth a grim line.

"I'm not really sure what happened after that. Then a little while later – God, it felt like freaking forever – it all just _stopped_." Bella let out a slow, shaking breath. "And that was so much worse," she whispered hollowly.

Jacob pulled the truck behind Sam's white work pickup and Bella's eyes snapped to the cottage whose fixed windows, fresh paint and warm light inside made it look cheery.

What a radical difference from the dingy, broken house of just a few days ago. _Just like her._

Being with Paul had changed her so thoroughly in such a short time - somehow making her even more true to herself – she felt like she was waking up from some long nightmare, the kind you get when you've got a really bad flu and take Nyquil. She smiled softly and moved to open the door.

A slow chant of '_Paul…Paul…Paul'_ was already keening soft and yearning deep within her.

"Bells," Jacob's gentle hand on her arm, made her turn with confusion.

The look in Jacob's eye stopped her cold.

_Oh, no._

Jacob licked his lips slowly. "He's fine, kay? Or he will be…"

"_What_! What Jake? **You told me he was okay**!" Bella's voice instantly vaulted into a shriek. Suddenly all the pieces fit together: Why hadn't Paul come to pick her up? Jake's looks? Why had he asked her what she had felt?

"**Jacob**!"

He took both her hands in his and forced her back around when she was already clawing at the door to get out.

"He was out of control, Bells. Sam couldn't control him even with the Order, he wanted to get to you too badly. We were worried what he'd do to your dad, and the fucking Council won't talk to Charlie because they don't trust him with the secrets."

Tears were streaming down Bella's face as she pressed her lips together to silence her weeping. She slowly shook her head in disbelief, desperately trying to hold it together enough to understand what Jacob was saying.

His eyes darted between hers as his words came slow and satin._ Like an Alpha._ "So we had to put him out. He's strong, Bells. He's the best fighter in the Pack. We had to mess him up good to do it."

Snot was streaming down into her open mouth in her hysteria. "Y-You _h-hit_ him?"

Jacob swallowed. "I didn't. Sam had to beat him into submission – he's Alpha. The Pack had to hold him down. He'd have Phased, taken us all on and run straight for you."

Bella hauled back and spat at him. It was a globby stringy mess –Bella had never in her life spat before - but some got on Jacob's face. He blinked in shock.

Ripping her hands out of his she tore open the door and ran for the house.

Within seconds she was bursting through the door so hard that it ricocheted off the wall and rebounded. She batted at it brashly as she took slow steps into the room. It was eerily empty and pristine from the work yesterday afternoon. In the far corner knelt Emily beside his mattress on the floor. Strewn out around her was gauze, tape, and rag after rag of blood-soaked cloth.

_On the mattress lay Paul._

She clapped her hands over her mouth. She wouldn't have even recognized him except for the hum in her body at just being near him. His face was disfigured, bloody and bruised, both eyes swollen shut. And it didn't stop there. His chest was bandaged, one arm in a sling, but dark angry purple bled deep in the dark teak of his skin from under the blood-stained gauze wrapping his torso. His chest rose and fell with his uneven, light pants, pulling forth a rattling wheeze.

Her feet must have carried her to him, because suddenly she was kneeling at his side. Every inch of him looked to be battered or lacerated or scraped.

Her hands were shaking over her mouth, her whole body trembling, as a long keening wail rose up from her very soul. She was beyond words or sense, or anything at all as strange grieving sounds of pure aching sorrow slithered forth like her very entrails were being pulled from her body.

Her quivering hands reached out to touch his face, his beautiful, perfect face - always close to a mischievous smirk – now painfully ruined by the punishing blows of his Alpha. Tentative fingers trembled before stroking down his swollen, beaten cheek.

As soon as she her fingertips grazed his fevered skin, her body was flooded with pain. She threw her head back with a gasp, her hand jerking back reflexively as if she'd been burned.

Blinking and swallowing, her gaze snapped in confusion back to him. He had arched feebly off of the bed with a soft sigh. The burning twinge slowly dissipated from her body.

Experimentally she reached out both hands and brought them tenderly and _oh, so gently_ to cup his cheeks. Once again a searing agony razed her body. She watched through her squinted, burning eyes as his chest rose off the mattress and his mouth opened, taking in a long slow breath, his swollen eyelids fluttering.

She was taking his pain? Somehow _she knew_.

Oh, she'd do so _so very gladly_.

She gritted her teeth against the unbearable ravaging that felt like her every cell was bursting as if she'd walked in front of a powerful microwave transmitter. Soon she could no longer hold her eyes open enough to watch his blissfully relaxing face. Her body arched in a jerking paroxysm of pain as she struggled to hold her trembling hands to his cheeks. It was like trying to keep her hands in the blue heart of a white-hot flame.

She moaned low and feral in her throat, delirious from the bone-breaking torment.

Warm arms around her waist were suddenly pulling her away. With a frantic cry she scrabbled back toward Paul, struggling against the iron grip as she was picked up off the floor.

Kicking and wailing, her feet flailing wildly in the air, she shrieked, "_No! Paul_!"

"Shh, Bells. It's okay," Jacob's voice rumbled low and concerned in her ear.

Like a tired child she went lip in his arms as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to pant through the residual blistering pain. As it slowly dissipated and the thrum of her blood in her ears receded, she heard the low murmurings around her.

"I think you're right Sam, it's such a strong bond. Look how much easier he's resting," she heard Emily's soft hushed voice.

"_Jesus_, there's that one old story that speaks of an imprint healing her wolf from a mortal blow through their bond, but it took her life. So, what's it gonna do to her? We'll have to ask the Council. Since she's human, she doesn't have the same strength…" Sam's deep bass rolled pensively through the room.

_Sam_.

Bella's eyes snapped open sharply as her head whipped around. Sam was leaning against the wall, bandaged hands folded over his chest, watching her thoughtfully. When he caught her scowl he bowed his head in shame.

Bella kicked her feet pointedly. "Let me down, Jake," she ground out.

She was immediately lowered to her feet, but large hands stayed on her shoulders. "Easy there, Bells."

With no further adieu, Bella jerked out of his grasp and went straight for Sam.

She recklessly threw herself at him like a rabid cat. Her fists beat on his chest as she flailed against him wildly, kicking and screaming like a mad woman totally berserk. "**How could you? You know what he's been through! You're his Alpha! He doesn't need to get beaten by anyone else! How could you! You're **_**horrible**_**!**"

Sam held his bandaged hands up in the air shoulder-high and blinked down at her with a worried chagrin, letting her wildly strike against his rock-solid chest until she was panting pitifully, her hands bruised.

"Jake?" he rumbled as she staggered dizzily.

Again strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her up off her unsteady feet. Gasping, she twisted in Jacob's arms and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. Unlike the time she slapped Paul, Jacob didn't even seem to notice. _It was infuriating. _

"**And you! You lied to me! How could you let them do this!**" she screeched, her voice clawing painfully at the back of her throat.

There was a coughing chuckle from behind her. "Gotta watch my girl, Jake. She's a slapper," a soft hoarse voice washed over her body leaving a trail of warmth in its wake.

"_Paul_!" Bella was struggling in Jacob's grasp. He set her down and she skidded to kneel by the mattress. His swollen eyes were just cracked open to slits, but she could _feel_ him.

She could _feel_ him again.

She collapsed on his shoulder – very gingerly - sobbing piteously. She didn't even care that the touch brought a scorching pain to every last nerve in her body.

"Hush, little girl. I'm okay," he rasped as the hand not in the sling came up to stroke clumsily at her hair. He drew in a deep, clear breath and let it out slowly through his teeth. "Shit, what are you doin' babe?" he gasped.

A tortuous sensation throbbed through Bella's body. Her breath hitched and the muscles in her back spasmed with the intensity of it.

"Honey, sit up," Emily's soft voice was right beside her ear as her cool hands came around her shoulders.

Bella shook her head into Paul's shoulder. "_Mine_," she whimpered.

"Yes he is. Come now. Sit up, honey." She gently pried Bella off her mate, as her whole body trembled in both overwhelming pain and relief. Bella panted, sniffling wretchedly. Her brain felt like mush – she had had so much adrenaline running through her system that she felt ill. But one thing was certain now and took the rest of it away.

_Paul was okay_.

Emily spoke to Paul, while she rubbed Bella's shoulders. "We think she's taking away your pain."

"Well, no shit. I can feel _that_," Paul slurred sarcastically out of the side of his swollen lips.

"But the thing we don't know is what it will do to _her_. There's just that one story about the woman who healed her mate…" Emily began.

"And died," Paul choked and his slitted eyes snapped to where Bella trembled in an unfocused and delirious daze.

_She was an absolute mess. _The day had burned her out hollow and she simply had nothing left.

Paul seemed to sense this. His hand reached out to tug at a lock of hair, carefully avoiding contact with her skin. "Babe," he whispered. "Come lie beside me. Stay with me tonight? I'll be good as new tomorrow, promise."

Bella's eyes focused again on his and she nodded. "I told Charlie, I'm moving out. I packed my bags and stuff." She sniffled. "I mean if that's okay…"

Paul's lips somehow approximated his wry smirk, pulling up strangely on one side. "Oh that's _more_ than fucking okay, little girl. It's the way it _has_ to be. I already told you, _every_ night," he murmured as his hand reached out to tenderly ghost down her hair.

Bella nodded, she was completely debilitated. She felt like she had been through the spin cycle and then wrung out into a twisted knot. _Paul. He's okay_, the voice inside her head reassured her.

But there was something she had to do before she could accept such a beguiling offer to finally lay down beside him.

She pulled her lip into the side of her mouth and stood, swaying unsteadily. She turned back on Sam who was leaning his head back against the wall, watching her with those unfathomable eyes. He looked exhausted too, but Bella didn't have the strength to be charitable right now.

She crossed purposefully to him and pulled the little card out of her back pocket. Pressing it into his chest she jutted out her chin. "Call them. They want a meeting."

Sam glanced over her head at Jacob with a questioning brow.

"Leeches. They've got news we gotta hear about the redhead," he provided.

From the bed a low grating growl ripped and disintegrated into a pitiful cough.

Bella glanced worriedly at Paul and then turned back to Sam. "And Jacob said I didn't have to go near them again. And I can't. I don't ever want to again, Sam. He said you'd protect me," she challenged, her voice trembling.

She needed to feel safe, and she wanted Paul and the Pack to know she was trusting them to do that.

Sam nodded soberly. He surprised her by reaching out a hand and running it tenderly over her cheek to rest on her chin. It was a sweet and fatherly gesture. "You're Pack, Bella. You're ours, and we'll protect you," he crooned in his deep voice.

"_Mine_," Paul's low growl vibrated comfortingly in the marrow of Bella's bones.

Sam raised his eyes toward the mattress. "Yeah, we know. But she's _our sister_."

Paul's answering rumble was content.

Bella wanted to go to him, but Sam caught her in his piercing gaze. His hand dropped from her chin to rest on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Bella. I did what I thought would be best for the Pack."

Bella's gaze darted between his intense black eyes. She nodded once. "I can't forgive you right now, Sam." Bella pursed her lips and then whispered roughly in concession, "but you're Alpha." He was doing the best he could.

"Not your Alpha though," he chuckled as his lips twisted uncharacteristically with private humor.

A slow mischievous smile bloomed on Bella's face and she shook her head quickly.

"Good, that's this balance thing my mate's always talking about." His hand dropped from her shoulder and she turned, her eyes automatically finding Paul.

"We need to sleep," Bella suddenly said, as if not by her own volition.

Because they did. They _both needed_ to.

Emily nodded and stood, crossing the room on her way to her mate. Her hand dragged over Bella's arm in a silent touch that communicated so much more than words. Comfort, approval, sorrow, affection.

Bella barely registered the wolves and Emily as they did some kind of clean up in the kitchen and living room, and brought her bag in from the truck. Bella simply crawled over her mate - breathing easily now on the mattress - and curled up on her side, pillowing her hand on her cheek.

Paul turned his head laboriously and stared into her eyes from under his heavy, swollen lids.

Not taking his eyes off of her, he called out to the room in his hoarse voice. "Sam, I'll be by in the morning to get the update on those motherfuckers."

"Good, we'll meet with them tonight," Sam returned.

"Yeah, we need to talk dude," Jacob added cryptically.

Paul pursed his ruined lips and nodded slightly, never taking his eyes off Bella.

Finally, they all left and turned off the light, plunging the room into darkness. The sound of a truck starting and crunching over gravel left the house submerged in the intimate quiet of the forest and night.

Bella reached out her hand and rested her palm over Paul's heart and he gasped, arching into her touch. She closed her eyes while she idly followed the pain, as it leached up her arm as if her blood were gasoline and his touch a match. When her entire body was charring in searing pain she breathed into it and tried to stifle the moan of agony that overflowed when she could contain it no more.

Paul's hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled it gently from his body placing it on the mattress between them and promptly releasing it.

"None of that, babe. None of that," he murmured all velvet and low.

"But I want to," Bella whispered, her eyes fluttering open to cling to his profile, even while they still swam in the pain.

"This body will be healed by tomorrow, and I'll wrap you in my arms for good," he licked his lips. "But I'm just so worn out right now, and you gave me enough of that zing o' yours that I think I can sleep." His voice cracked with the strain and it broke her heart. "Thanks, for that," he breathed. "Thanks, little girl."

Bella brought her hand up under her cheek again and listened to his breathing which almost instantly slowed to even and deep.

As his soft snores rolled over her like a gentle summer swell, Bella leaned in and whispered by his ear, tender and breathy and sure.

"_I love you."_

Because she did.


	22. Chapter 22 Unexpected

'

**22- Unexpected**

'

Paul's eyes s fluttered open to the early morning light. For only the third time in almost a year he awoke feeling uncharacteristically lethargic, peaceful…human.

_Shit, she was such a fucking gift._

He turned his head to beside him, and blinked. The bed was empty.

He jerked into a sitting position, with an aching groan. _Bella_?

The sound of his shower running – and the fast-becoming familiar hum of her energy – answered that question instantly, so his muddled mind moved to others.

True, he felt like he had been run over by a truck – or possibly a convoy - and his entire body was sore…but it was also actually _working_. _It shouldn't be._ He had lied to her last night because seeing her worn, worried and scared – fucking terrified- had broken his heart. But he also shouldn't have been conscious enough to do so.

Looking down at his body, he found only shadows cast over his dark skin from his injuries. Pursing his chapped but unswollen lips, he started carefully shedding the stiff, blood-caked gauze - removing the sheet over his naked hips so he could rip of the rest of it running down his legs. They must have cut away his clothing; it had pretty much gotten ruined along with his body anyway.

The blood still smelled fresh - not yet a day old -and his brow knit in confusion.

Pulling off the sling he flexed his arm and found the break mended. He took careful stock of the rest of him, rolling his neck, tensing and relaxing each muscle. The cracks in his bones and tears in his muscles and skin were tender and sore along the fresh fissures, but they were mending.

Sam had fucking worked him over good and even with werewolf healing, he definitely shouldn't be this healed. _Unless it was days later… what day was it, anyway?_

Balling up the gauze and pulling off the rusty blood-stained sheet, he collapsed heavily back onto the bare mattress. He was still weak, but it felt like he just needed to get some protein into his system.

The shower turned off and his eyes darted to the closed bathroom door instantly, as he pulled the sheet over his hips to hide evidence of the eagerness of his body as well .

_Just like a fucking dog left outside a store or something_, he thought wryly.

He laughed at himself. He didn't even give a shit if he looked like some over-zealous mutt, he couldn't wait to see her. He counted off the seconds in several minutes before the door cracked open and her sweet wild-flower scent wafted in the room along with humid shower air. He recognized the strawberries of her shampoo and soap, and smiled to himself. She had brought her things over, _because she was moving in_.

_Mine_, his wolf reminded him, as if he could ever forget for even a millisecond.

Paul suddenly tensed at the other scent that slithered subtly after from the bathroom– the disgusting syrupy rot of vampire. The _Cullens_.

Bella peeked around the corner, as she pulled a brush through her long wet hair, and gave him a glorious smile.

"You're awake!" her voice was pleased and made him put aside thoughts of leeches as she stepped into the room, running the brush through her long wavy locks.

Paul's brow knit in concern as he propped himself up on his elbows. She looked totally worn out – circles under her eyes, face drawn and pale – and far too thin.

_He hadn't been taking good enough care of her._

"What?" her brow furrowed.

"You look tired," his fallow voice cracked and he cleared his throat.

Bella strode toward him, wrapped in a towel that came past her knees. "Geez, thanks," she rolled her eyes sarcastically.

His mind came back to the bloodsuckers of last night and put two and two together. "And you took a shower…" he asked cryptically, hoping to open the door for her to talk about it, and then instantly regretting it.

Bella's gaze dropped to the floor like lead and her face flushed.

_Terror. Shame_. Paul _felt_ the wash of troubling emotions.

"Yeah, I felt… d-dirty," she whispered, bringing a shoulder up to one ear uncomfortably. She obviously didn't want to talk about this right now.

Paul felt like he was trying to swallow down magma as he tried to tamp down the rage that instantly ignited his breast. Oh, he'd kill them alright – _slowly, painfully_ - but right now _she_ needed him. He'd talk to Jake this later this morning to figure out the rest.

He scooted over on the mattress and rolled up on his side. An inadvertent groan slipped from his lips at the ache in his body and Bella looked up sharply with concern. With an attempt at a smile, resting his head in one hand, he patted the space beside him with the other.

Her attention was successfully diverted from what was troubling her. "How do you feel? You still kinda look like hell, but freaking _way_ better than last night!" Bella exclaimed. She sat down on the mattress and continued her strokes through her hair, as her gaze cataloged his every inch.

Paul's brow dipped in confusion, "that was just last night? What time is it?"

Bella nodded and put the brush down, turning more to him. "Eight o'clock in the morning." _He definitely shouldn't be this well-healed._

Paul studied her features carefully – _that_ was why she looked like she did. It was because of _her_ that he had healed so quickly.

_And it had drained that tiny little girl body. _

He closed his eyes in regret: all he did was _take, take, take_ from her. Her touch on his cheek made his eyes pop open as he jerked back.

Bella's hand froze, eyes wide as saucers. Her lip quivered at the rejection.

"No, no, no babe…." he reassured her quickly, his heart breaking. He sat up more leaning toward her and wrestled with the overwhelming compulsion to wrap her in his arms. "I just don't want you to do that juju-thing of yours. You don't look too good, and I shouldn't be _this_ healed this fast. I think it made you sick, babe," he couldn't keep the tremor of worry from his voice.

Bella blinked. "I feel fine. Just tired. Really tired and kinda lethargic. But I'm _fine_!" she assured him, her hand still hovering between them.

Paul swallowed nervously as she stretched her fingers out to tenderly ghost over his cheek bone.

"Does it still hurt to touch me?" he asked hesitantly. He didn't _feel_ that same strange tingling of last night. Then, her touch had been like some blessed and magic cooling balm: instantly smothering the inferno of pain wracking his body.

Bella shook her head as her eyes softened, cupping his jaw.

_Well that was good enough for him!_

Like lightning he sat up and pulled her to his body, smoothly repositioning her so she was stretched out half-way over him. His arms wrapped around her tightly as he laid back down.

Her surprise at the suddenness melted instantly and she pressed her cheek to his chest and wrapped her arms along his sides. Her soft hum of contentment made his wolf purr.

"Babe," he breathed her name like a prayer over his long sigh of relief. His hands moved down over her toweled figure and he mumbled into her sweet, damp hair. "Can we lose this thing?"

Bella nodded against him and he reluctantly released her so she could sit up enough to pull it off. Paul's sharp eyes took in the fact that her own bruising and abrasions had not improved. Not at all.

The sensation of her warm silken skin laying back over him, effectively razed his worry as he gasped in the pleasure of it, holding her to him. She nuzzled into his neck, pressing her moist lips over his pulse.

"Mm, babe," he crooned blissfully. "You _sure_ this is okay?"

She nodded into his jaw. "Mmm. 'Don't feel anything other than you. Are _you_ still sore though?"

"Mm hm… but I shouldn't even be conscious," he chuckled as he stroked his hands possessively over every inch of her body taking inventory with an almost frantic need – it was the same as his wolf would have done with his muzzle.

She lay her cheek sweetly on his shoulder and idly traced the shell of his opposite ear with her finger, raising chill bumps down the left side of his body. "Why do you think it only works sometime, then?"

He paused from where he was placing kiss after kiss on her hairline. "Umm… maybe it has to be a serious injury?" he guessed, not really caring while he was drowning in the ecstasy of running his hands again over his mate.

Bella pushed up off him, her eyes stricken as they darted between his. "It was serious?" she quavered, her eyes instantly liquid.

Paul swallowed as he took in her expression along with the cold wash of her terror. He knew exactly how she felt even without their bond – _**he could never, ever lose her. **_

His fingers came up to brush her cheek. "Babe, Sam had to beat me within an inch of my life to keep me away from you – anything less wouldn't 'a worked. But he knew when to stop."

A tear overflowed her lashes and rolled slowly down her cheek as her lips quivered. Paul's heart shattered into a million pieces right then and there at such an expression on her face.

"Aww, little girl, I had _totally lost it._ I couldn't stand to be away from you. I thought I was losing you and I dunno. The wolf went ballistic… It might of turned bad with Charlie." His hand brushed away the tear and caught two more. "You're going to live with me though now, right? Be here every morning and night?"

Bella bit her lower lip and nodded mutely.

Paul couldn't help that his face broke in half in a smile, even though he could guess at the price she had to pay to do so. "See that makes my wolf settle right down," he sighed as he pulled her to his shoulder and stroked her hair. "And me too."

He just held her silently to him for several minutes, counting her heartbeats, her breath, feeling the thrum of her pulse against him, breathing in her scent.

"I was just so fucking scared," he whispered softly, opening himself up as much as he could and admitting weakness like he had never done with anyone before. Every_thing_ in Paul's life had been taken away from him – including his humanity - and every_one_ had always left. To have Bella in his life was… he had no words to describe it. But he _knew_ he didn't deserve such a gift. Fuck, he _so_ didn't deserve her.

_I'm absolutely fucking terrified of losing her_, he realized.

Bella picked her head up and looked into his eyes, a little pucker between her brow.

She cocked her head. "You do deserve me, Paul. And you'll never lose me: you're mine and I'm yours," she stated matter-of-factly in a sober little voice.

_Holy fuck!_

The expression of shock on Paul's face must have been pretty damn funny because Bella dissolved into pealing giggles.

He smiled in spite of himself before he returned to incredulous. "So you can like fucking read my mind and shit now?"

Bella stopped laughing and shook her head as she sniffed and wiped her eyes. "No, just every once in a while –I think, like, maybe when it's important?– I suddenly kinda hear you in my head."

Paul clicked his tongue and shook his head slowly in amusement as his signature smirk twisted his lips.

For some reason Bella looked delighted as her fingers came out to press fondly to his lips. Dislodging them with a rough shake of his head, he pulled her up closer to press his mouth to hers.

Their lips instantly fused into a long, deep and luxurious kiss. Paul's tongue stroked over hers as he sighed into her taste – toothpaste and mate. Predictably his body ignited.

He pulled back, as his gaze ran hungrily over her face, inches away. "Okay, little girl," he murmured. "What am I thinking now?"

She shook her head with a slow smile. "Mm-mmm-mm," she hummed 'I dunno' like a little kid with a little rise in the middle. It made him smile.

Paul's hands smoothed firmly down the slope of her back over the swell of her ass and then back up again, pulling her with him. He pressed his lips sensuously again to hers and the buried his face in her hair.

"I'm thinking how much I want to be inside your tight little body," he whispered breathily and then grazed the shell of her ear with his teeth.

Bella shuddered with a soft throaty moan.

Paul pulled away so he could look at her face. Her eyelids were already heavy, mirroring his own burning need, but … she also looked exhausted.

"Hey, you're tired, I'm sore… why don't you pace us this time, little girl?" he mumbled as he ran his mouth over her cheek, feeling the chapping of his lips drag against her white chocolate skin.

She hummed indolently as she skimmed her nose along his cheekbone, already drunk with the heavy desire settling, warm and thick, over them like a wool blanket.

"So…" Paul smiled to himself, anticipating her reaction. "You're on top." He popped the _P_.

She sucked in a sharp breath and lifted her head with an adorably abashed expression.

Paul chuckled and smoothed his callused hands over her satin back, pulling her body – draped half-way off his – fully on top of him as he tugged the sheet out from between them. "Shh… it's easy little girl. Spread those sexy legs of yours and I'll show you."

Bella did so, bringing her knees up to either side of his ribs, and peered at him nervously as she worried her lip.

With a reassuring smile, Paul pushed her hair back from her face and leaned up to press his lips to hers, pulling her lower lip out from her teeth. His fingers lightly traced down the sides of her back. They wrapped around the feminine swell of her hips and guided her body down his. As if made for each other, his cock – rock hard, since the shower had turned off – easily found her entrance and slipped into her wet, welcoming body.

He held her gaze hostage with his own and with each slow, inching push he basked in the way her eyelids fluttered, her nostrils quivered. Her lips parted to let her breath pant out over her lips and a soft sensual sigh dripped like warm honey over him.

For the last few inches he arched up and thrust into her, finally breaking eye contact as he tilted his head back with a grunt of gratification.

_Oh, God. _

_Tight… hot.. wet… deep._

"Now," Paul's voice cracked. Just being inside her was so fucking intense that he found himself struggling with his tenuous restraint. "Now… sit up."

Bella's eyes were having difficulty focusing and were crossed lazily in languor but she did as he said, walking her small hands down his chest to rest on his stomach.

She gasped. A soft, breathy sound like a the wind in the pines.

Paul's wolf growled low in satisfaction, intently examining every little expression on her face as she acclimated to the new position. Paul reached up and pushed her long damp hair behind each ear so he could see the way her brows pinched together, the way her tongue darted out to touch the corner of her lips, the way her head tilted slightly to the left.

"Move," he breathed in a dusky whisper.

She looked down at him then, her pearly teeth biting that full lower lip.

"There's no right way, babe. Play with it. Just move how it feels good," he crooned over the low purr warming the back of his throat.

She rolled her hips sensually like August storm clouds and gasped at the sensation leaving her lips frozen in a perfect O.

_Fucking scrumptious._

Paul's palms ghosted over her chest watching chill bumps follow like raindrops in the wind. He pinched her nipples and heard her sharp intake of breath as she instinctively arched up and then pushed back down.

Her moan quivered with rapture.

"Yeahhhh…. Just like that," he murmured as his own eyes rolled in his head. He felt her pull off him millimeter by millimeter – pressing her palms against his tense stomach, and then slowly lower herself down again. She repeated the motion, pumping her body up and down, her movements sensual, ethereal, liquid.

He could _feel_ her arousal and pleasure washing warm over her, the lapping waves pushing against the crests of his own and raising the tide of their shared ardor ever higher.

_She could too. _

"I-I c-can feel how you feel," her voice was merely a breath of wonder gasped in the back of her throat.

"Mmmm….like feedback, babe," he pulled the words out over a rumbling growl as he opened his eyes and saw her gaze, drunk with passion, locked on him.

He gave her dreamy half smile of appreciation as his eyes ran over her creamy skin, a rosy flush ripening her cheeks and chest. His hands skimmed over her thighs, her ass, her breasts.

_She was so goddamn fucking beautiful. _

She grew more comfortable and bold with her movements, changing the position of her legs so she could pull all the way off him. Paul reached up and rested his palm on her pelvis. His thumb found that magic little button and she groaned a sultry purr of approval while she moved. _Up and down_...lips quivering... eyes closed...swallowing him whole into her tight, tight body.

_His lover. His mate. His imprint. __Mine_.

She bent forward over him and dropped a seductively sumptuous kiss on his lips, keening her wordless pleasure. She was so graceful and sensual like this, all endearing clumsiness and self-consciousness subverted by the pure mind-numbing ecstasy of what was _their bodies together_.

_Mates_.

Paul watched her carefully though, he could feel fatigue beginning to drag at her movements. When she started to pant softly with the effort, his hands slipped over her hips, carefully grasping anywhere but the lingering bruising.

"I got it now, babe," he whispered, and she looked down at him like she would say something. He pulled her small frame up off of him and then resolutely slammed her body back down, silencing her question as she cried out in quiet passion and her body melted in his hands.

She was so light it was ridiculous and he easily held her up as he pumped his hips into that hot core. Fingernails digging into his forearms, Bella's head fell back with open-mouthed gasps of fervor and her hair danced down her back over his fingers at her waist.

She was close … he could _feel_ her… and so was he. Closing his eyes, he released the shackles on his body and slammed into her over and over, rocking her body back down to meet each thrust.

His growl joined her long moan of his name and they both plummeted over the edge of that bottomless abyss together.

Their breaths were ragged and staggered, heartbeats wild, as she collapsed over his chest. He traced his hands slowly down the little beads of perspiration strung down her spine.

In a flash of understanding, in that moment Paul realized just how deeply connected the two of them were. It would always be like this with them. _Hell, they even came together_ .

And it was something he would never lose.

"I love you, Paul," he heard Bella suddenly whisper into his ear.

He jerked back and looked at her, his eyes round with shock. "What?" _Surely he had heard wrong._

"I love you," she breathed simply again, mere inches from his face.

"B-but-me?… How can you lo-… How?" his voice was an unguarded stammering whisper.

Bella's gaze darted thoughtfully between his eyes. When she spoke, she chose her words carefully, but they had the ease of the God's honest truth.

"It's easy, actually. You're a really, really good guy. Even after all the stuff you went through, you never gave up. You've got, like, _real honor_." Her fingers danced sweetly over his cheek. "You grew up in a crappy violent house, but still you can have such a gentle touch. You're an amazing artist and you're smart. You're all brave and tough and macho, yeah, but you're kind. And you care. They tried to beat it out of you, but you_ still care_."

Paul licked his lips and blinked furiously.

Bella smiled, "So it's not just the imprint thing, or whatever…" Her hands traced down his jaw, coming to rest over his pounding heart. "Aside from all the crazy wolf stuff, _I love you_," she whispered evenly and surely.

Then she promptly nestled back into his shoulder without another word – expecting absolutely nothing from him in return.

Paul wrapped his arms tighter around Bella and buried his face in her hair as silent tear after tear slipped down his bruised cheeks.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

"They're coming," Sam whispered over the crown of Emily's head as he slipped his phone back in his pocket.

She straightened from where she was leaning against his shoulder drinking tea and nodded somberly, pulling out of his reluctant arms to move toward the sink.

Jacob and Jared had stopped talking over breakfast at the table and glanced up at Sam. He nodded once in acknowledgement.

Whatever came through that door in a few minutes had a huge impact on the next move in this delicate and deadly chess game they were playing. He, Jared and Jacob had met with the Cullens last night and heard the details of the threat that would be facing down their Pack.

Sam was conservative, cautious… but even Jacob found the odds less than propitious.

_Fifteen of those fucking freaky-assed 'newborns' and some psycho bitch after one of the Pack? Having to join forces with three bloodsuckers who had questionable motives and had already threatened one of his own? Fuck me, _Sam thought.

And Paul was their best and he was down for the count.

He had scented the lie on Paul's lips last night telling them all that he'd be back in the game this morning. He couldn't blame him. If it was difficult for Sam to see Bella so distraught and depleted – and _afraid_ - he couldn't imagine what it had done to Paul.

_If it were Emily…_

Instinctively he glance up to where his mate was making a mug of tea after pouring coffee and pulling out breakfast she had saved for them.

But this morning Sam had gotten the phone call from a very coherent Paul, saying they would be by the house before eleven. Sam had been surprised, but grateful. Even if the Pack wouldn't have the asset of his physicality, Sam would have the benefit of his mind. Paul – when he was focused and in control – was an excellent co-strategist.

Sam's thoughtful gaze ran over Jared and Jacob who were quietly discussing scenarios again across from each other at the table.

Jared was technically the Second as the oldest wolf after Sam. But even by nature he was well-suited for the position: he was even-keeled and dependable, no-nonsense and neutral. The perfect Alpha's right hand. Jacob was technically Third, just based on his lineage until he ascended to leader, and he was charismatic, passionate - if not idealistic - and fair with a solid sense of duty (when it counted). He brought the Pack together. He would make a very different kind of leader than Sam, but a good one. However he was still young and inexperienced... and thinking ahead had never been one of his strong suits.

Sam was a strategist: a calculating planner. He was all about the odds and he looked forward to when Jake took the reins and he could focus on _that_ instead of Pack nonsense.

But Paul? Paul's mind was sharp as a whip, and his battle acumen was unapologetically cut-throat, aggressive and mercenary. He could think like the enemy, he could think like the Pack. He was exactly the kind of wolf needed to head the front line as well as galvanize the Pack leadership. He was far too volatile and competitive to take an official position, but more operated outside of the hierarchy structure completely.

And if _ever_ Sam needed that sharp, intuitive mind and uncompromising lethality, it was _now_. He hoped to God that Paul's mate being back soothed the wolf enough so that the _man_ could focus.

_God, __please__._

The sound of Bella's truck pulling up made all the wolves look up expectantly. Sam set down his coffee, and crossed his arms over his chest where he leaned against the counter.

Two minutes later, the front door opened and Sam switched into assessing overdrive. But there was no way he could have beeen prepared for what strode into the kitchen.

"Holy shit!" Jacob and Jared both exclaimed comically in unison.

Paul, his arm wrapped tightly around Bella, walked in strong and sure - shoulders squared- with only a subtle fatigue and weakness evident to the lupine eye. His bare chest showed his body remarkably healed: broken arm wholly mended, all abrasions reduced to pink lines, swelling on his face and torso swallowed by mere shadows of bruising.

Most importantly to Sam, his energy was focused and alert.

Paul found Sam's gaze immediately, his eyes covertly communicating the murderous fire already raging within him.

_Awesome. Thank God. _Sam breathed a sigh of relief._ Maybe they stood a chance after all._

In contrast to the unequivocal fury burning in Paul's gaze, his hands were gentle as they soothingly rubbed along his mate's shoulders.

Blinking through his shock at Paul's condition, Sam's gaze snapped to Bella and his heart plummeted. She was wan and had dark circles under her eyes. Her clothes hung off her petite frame as if she had lost significant weight overnight. _Shit_. His guess had been correct – she had healed him and it had taken its toll.

Sam glanced over to Emily, who returned his worried gaze and then did what she did so well.

"Hey you two," she piped cheerily, crossing over to the couple and running a sisterly hand over Paul's arm before she wrapped Bella in a hug. "How are you, Bella," she whispered beside her ear.

Bella wrapped her arms around Sam's taller mate and rested her cheek sweetly on her shoulder while she nodded. "Much better," she sighed.

She didn't _look_ much better. But at least she was at peace.

They both were.

Jacob had stood and waited until Emily had released the girl before, with a deferential glance to Paul, wrapped her in his arms. "Hey honey." He pulled back and smiled, "you look like shit."

Bella rolled her eyes with a snort. "So I've been told."

Emily laughed and tugged her toward their little corner of the kitchen. "Boys are so stupid. You just look tired, hon. But you did a great job with Paul," she chuckled glancing up pointedly at Sam. She had listened to him talk about his concerns and fears all night.

Sam returned his attention to his best front line man. He was ignoring Jake and Jared's awed and joking commentary on his recovery and overtly staring Sam down with those sharp, intense eyes. He wanted answers. _Now_.

Sam licked his lips. "Em, Bella… would you two mind taking your breakfast out on the porch? We need to talk."

Emily nodded and Bella looked up with a worried dip to her brow. He gave her a reassuring smile.

Emily set the reheated pot roast on the table for Paul - he undoubtedly needed protein - and then grabbed up Bella's plate as the two women walked out of the kitchen.

"Hey, c'mere," Paul called softly as Bella shuffled toward the door, an insecure slump to her shoulders that apparently Paul didn't like any more than Sam.

Formidable, violent, private Paul, cupped her jaw with the utmost gentleness and bent down to place a sweet lingering kiss on his tiny and delicate mate's lips. She sighed and melted against him as he held her head to his broad chest for a moment.

_It was shocking, really._ Sam knew that Emily had fundamentally changed and balanced both him as well as his wolf, but to see his lethal and intense Pack mate display such heart-rending tenderness and devotion was still stunning.

He glanced up to Emily who had caught him watching and she winked with a smile. She had been right about Paul all these years. Paul was the only one of the Pack who could successfully and consistently mask his thoughts from the collective, and Sam hadn't been able to see just how much more lay below that rough, angry exterior.

Grabbing up his coffee, Sam stepped forward to the table and propped his foot up on the bench leaning over his knee. Jacob sat back down raising his eyebrows toward Jared across the table, obviously similarly affected by Paul's overt display of affection.

Paul watched the two women leave and then turned back to the room. His eyes hardened instantly to a razor sharp focus. Without a word he stalked to the head of the table and pulled out the chair, turning it around backwards. Straddling it he sat down, leaning his muscular forearms over the back, and bowed his head as he took a deep breath.

With no preamble, he growled low, "okay, talk."

Sam took a sip of his coffee and then set it on the table in front of him and went through an impassive run-down of the practical details of their meeting with the leeches last night. Including the fact that the whole Pack was meeting with them mid-afternoon in a neutral and remote location. The three bloodsuckers would then demonstrate appropriate techniques to the Pack and present a sparring demonstration of vampire abilities in general.

Paul sat as still as a stone through the entire monologue, only his jaw muscles clenching and unclenching rhythmically.

Sam purposefully left out the part about their demand that Bella attend that meeting. He took a sip of his coffee and waited.

"Jake?" Paul crooned in an eerily calm voice, still neither looking up nor moving a muscle from where he was bowed over the back of the chair.

Jacob cleared his throat. "They tried to take her last night," he dove in with no attempts to sugar coat it. "That motherfucker _Edward_ apparently put his hands all over her ...fucking molested her-"

"How?" Paul's question sounded like steel rending.

Jacob coughed uncomfortably. "Shithead forced her into a liplock and she couldn't make him stop until one of the others stepped in." A growl of fury reflexively ripped from deep in Jacob's chest as his fist slammed the table. Jared echoed it and Sam felt the bile rise in his own throat though they had both heard the story before in more detail. "_Then_ the ass-wipe tried one of those mind-fuck things to get her to go with him."

Paul's silence was deafening. All three other wolves watched him incredulously as he sat frozen, every muscle tensed before them.

His reaction was so unexpected that Jacob's continuation was stuttered and confused. "She-she w-was really upset. Scared. Terrified, r-really. Th–they really _can _do some kind of hypno-thing on humans. Now she gets that's what it was all along. He was, like, mind-raping her the whole time."

Jacob paused as every muscle in Paul's body started slithering under his bruised skin. The boy pressed on quickly, "but I got there in time. She threw herself at me, frantic and desperate to get to you. She _knew_ you were hurt. She even _felt _it, dude and she was hysterical. But she said they wouldn't let her go."

Sam felt the table vibrate with a growl too deep for even wolf ears to hear. He interrupted Jacob using his best soothing Alpha voice, "but she's _ours_, and they'll _never_ get near her again." He paused, letting that sink in for all three of them; he could scent their fury and outrage. All of the wolves at the table relaxed infinitesimally at the assertion.

Sam continued. "So we now know somewhat what we are dealing with… and its going to be tricky. The one who did all the talking last night, Jasper, seems the most reasonable and he has experience in battle – even with these fucking leech larvae. And we _need_ them, Paul. We can't take these odds without the information and help. It's a bitter pill but we _gotta_ take it." Sam paused letting Paul process while he took a sip of his coffee and then set it back down.

Jacob started in again. "We have to do this meeting this afternoon. Also, these three have some of those woo-woo bloodsucker abilities. They say it's rare, but they all have 'em. The girl can see the future – she's our link to when the goddamn leech army is coming. Dickhead-ward can apparently read minds – though not Bella's for some reason, _she _told me that. And that Jasper senses emotions or some shit so we have them wildcards thrown in there too."

The silence in the room was oppressive.

After almost five minutes of no one daring to speak, Paul's voice was heard, deep and rough like a chainsmoker's. "What are you not telling me, Sam?"

He could never get anything over on Paul. Sam took a deep breath. "They have two demands, and you're not going to like 'em." He set down his coffee. "Their stipulation for helping us is that we do all strategic planning _with _them." Sam paused.

"And?" Paul rasped, his breathing starting to heave.

Sam had never seen anything like the control he was exhibiting. In _any_ of his wolves.

"And that Bella attend all meetings," he said quietly but as matter-of-factly as he could. "Apparently they think we're threatening her or some bullshit like that."

Paul expelled a harsh breath in a hiss through his teeth as a violent shudder wracked his body, making the chair rattle.

For the next few minutes no wolf moved a muscle while they listened to their Pack mate's gulping, uneven breathing.

Finally Paul looked up, his eyes immediately locking with Sam's.

Sam blanched and unconsciously straightened. Paul's eyes were completely yellow and glowing, his wolf was so close to the surface.

_How was he keeping this control? Even __he__ wouldn't be able to keep it together with the wolf this close._

"This is what we're going to do," Paul ground out, his eyes cold and ruthless. He spoke evenly in a frightening, breathy monotone. "You, me and Jared will go to the meeting human, the rest of the pack Phased. Jacob will stay _beside Bella_ the whole time." His eyes, traveled slowly to Jacob whose arms were tensed and prone on the table. Both he and Jared were teetering on Phasing themselves at the potent scent of violence emanating from Paul.

He waited until Jacob nodded a quick assent before he returned that piercing, vicious gaze back on Sam. "We watch them train. You, _me_, and your Second plan with them - Jacob stays with Bella. Shit, we'll have fucking tea with them. I don't care. _Whatever_ we need to do to keep Bella safe."

Paul stood then, straightening slowly as he smoothly slipped the chair out from under him. His body eerily still, he prowled, all predator and power toward Sam who pushed off the bench and squared his shoulders, swallowing.

"But, after we decimate that cunt and her spawn." Paul stopped inches from Sam's chest, eye to fire-hot lupine eye.

Paul cocked his head. "All fucking bets are off," he hissed murderously.

Sam's gaze darted between those relentless feral eyes.

"Hell, yeah," Sam whispered.


	23. Chapter 23 Snap

'

**23 Snap**

'

"Bella? Sorry, babe. 'Have to wake up now…" a hushed voice whispered beside her ear.

Bella drew in a long slow breath as that deep voice pulled her out of her dreamless slumber. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed in rebellion and then felt warm lips pressed briefly to hers. She inhaled the spicy woodsy scent of her mate and her lips curved automatically. Blinking, she found Paul's face inches from hers, his mouth hitched in a soft half-smile.

Still blinking, she raised her head a few inches and tried to orient herself. She was still on Emily's porch swing where she had promptly crashed before she had even been able to push any food past her lips. Paul was kneeling in front of her, one arm resting over her body and the other tenderly stroking her hair. She stiffly pushed herself up into a sitting position, tucking her feet under her and trying to rub the sleepiness from her face.

"Sorry," she mumbled automatically.

"Why?" Paul asked as he scooted in closer and tipped his face up to kiss her chin.

Letting her hands fall to his shoulders she looked at him and raised a shoulder to her ear. "I guess I was tired."

"I know, babe. I wish you could sleep longer," he murmured as his gaze ran over her face in assessing concern.

She felt a little more rested but still utterly wiped out. It was like she was coming down with some horrible flu or something - her whole body ached. Of course it was _so_ worth it to see her mate healthy and up and about. She leaned her forehead against his with a sigh.

Paul grasped her hands in his on his shoulders and pulled them down into her lap as he leaned back to look at her.

The worry in his eyes snapped her out of her drowsy stupor. She licked her lips expectantly.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly. She had the distinct impression he was stalling.

"Okay, better," she answered. "What is it, Paul?"

Releasing a heavy sigh, he hung his head for a moment and then looked back up with an agonized expression.

She squeezed his hands encouragingly.

"Babe, I have to ask you to do something that I _really, really_," he growled the words "…don't want to ask. But I _have_ to."

Bella swallowed and gave him a quick nod.

His voice descended to a soft and halting register. She could tell he was struggling to keep his voice even and calm. "We have to go meet the Cullens in half an hour…"

Bella's body winced reflexively at the name and she sat up straighter.

"And I have to ask you to come with us." His black eyes darting frantically between hers told her he knew exactly how she would feel about that.

Bella tried to stay calm and sucked in a sharp breath. "Why?"

"Because they made it a condition of helping us with this whole fucking leech army that's coming our way tomorrow… and we _need_ their help."

Bella couldn't speak. It felt like the bottom had dropped out of her stomach.

"Believe me, we _need _to have their help… if I had _any_ choice at all, I wouldn't ask you, babe. But we have to go to meet them in just a little bit so they can tell us what we need to know about these motherfuckers and I have to ask you to come. The whole Pack will be between you and them, though. And Jake .." Paul looked up.

Bella followed his gaze to find Jacob leaning against the house beside the swing, his arms crossed, his expression severe. When he caught her gaze, his mouth tried to smile.

It _tried_.

"Jake's going to stay beside you the whole time." Paul finished as Jacob pushed off the wall and came to sit beside her on the swing. It swayed and dipped with his weight.

"I won't let them anywhere near you, I swear, Bells," he vowed quietly sober.

Bella turned back to Paul. "B-but…"

Paul thankfully answered the question in her head – she wondered whether he had heard it or guessed - so she didn't have to come right out and say she wanted _Paul_ to stay with her, not Jacob. "I would stay with you if I could, but this is kinda my gig. I gotta be 300% on my game, babe… it's a real fine line we gotta walk to take out these motherfuckers coming at us, and the whole Pack needs me to head it up. I'm their hit man remember?" he gave her that roguish smile of his.

But this time, that expression couldn't melt Bella's fears. Her gaze fell to her lap while she worried her lip. So many emotions were coursing through her exhausted body… terror for Paul, worry for Jake and everyone, fear of Edward, guilt for bringing this whole thing down on the Pack.

She felt her eyes burn with tears.

Paul's finger came under her chin and tilted her face back up to him. "Plus, since you hafta, I thought it would be a good time to show you _exactly_ why you don't have to be afraid of him anymore," he growled cryptically but with a grating protectiveness that soothed some deep part of her soul.

A tear spilled over her cheek. And then another. "He-.. h-he reads minds," Bella choked desperately as she gripped his hands.

_Oh, she didn't want Edward anywhere near her mate_. She was afraid for him. She had seen what Edward was capable of with James.

"We know… and I've already talked to the Pack about how we're gonna play it," Paul's voice was laced with a smile even as he frowned at her tears and leaned in to kiss them away.

"Abba – _Dancing Queen_," Jacob interjected beside her and she looked up to his cheeky grin.

"What?" Bella smiled in spite of herself.

"Any kinda annoying-as-shit song we can think of… Justin Bieber?"

"Fuck, yeah. Preferably out of tune," Paul snickered.

Jacob grinned evilly at him and returned his gaze to Bella. "We're going to keep that kinda shit in our heads whenever we aren't concentrating or whatever. He'll be treated to some awesome wolfpack karaoke." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Bella gave him a weak smile.

"And Paul's already the best at this crap – he's the only one of us who can keep his damn thoughts to himself – which is probably a freaking blessing. There's no fucking way that that dickwad can read your mate's crazy-assed mind."

Bella whipped back around to Paul's sly smirk. He tapped his temple, "photographic memory, remember? I read pages from the dictionary just to piss them off." Paul positively leered.

"Ass." Jacob socked him in the shoulder playfully.

Bella realized they were trying to cheer her up as well as ramping up as a Pack for the struggle ahead. While it was nice to see her mate and her best friend finally getting along, Bella was so soul-deep _tired_. So much change, so much trauma, so much worry and constant adrenaline…she just didn't have it in her to rise above so many levels of distress. She felt her stomach rebel against yet another round of torture.

"Excuse me," she whispered as she disengaged herself from Paul's hands and promptly rushed into the house, the screen door slamming shut behind her. She ran straight to Sam and Emily's downstair's bathroom. Batting the door behind her – and only partially closing it - she threw herself toward the toilet and wretched. When the convulsive dry heaves subsided (she hadn't eaten in over a day, she suddenly realized) she needlessly flushed and then pulled herself over to the sink and ran the cold water. She splashed her face and then rested both wrists under the cool stream as she hung her head miserably.

_Oh, God, she couldn't do this. She just couldn't._

She _felt_ him, of course, before his silent warmth came up behind her and his hands gathered her hair into a bunch and picked it up out of the sink and off her back. Paul blew on the nape of her neck soothingly.

"Babe," he whispered softly by her ear. "I'm sorry."

Bella shook her head as she watched her tears join the water swirling lazily down the slow drain. "I-I don't know if I can do it…" she admitted in a very small voice, furious at herself for her weakness.

"You can, I _know_ you can, little girl," he crooned. "You're not '_stupid and useless and helpless_.' Not by a long shot."

That sounded familiar. '_Edward made me feel really stupid and useless and helpless._'

At his verbatim quote of her confession in the diner the other day – and his shrewd insight into the true root of her anxiety - Bella sucked in a breath of surprise and jerked her head up. His eyes caught hers in the mirror; they were smoldering with protective rage.

He held her gaze intensely while he spoke. "You're the smartest person I know. You're strong, not helpless – look at all the shit we've been going through. And as for uselessness? You're the first thing to come along that _makes my life worth living_, babe. That seems pretty fucking useful to me."

Bella straightened up, blinking furiously.

"You can do this." He smiled – not smirked, _smiled_ - pulling her hair to one side and resting his big hands on her shoulders.

Bella stared at him in the mirror. _She trusted him. _Even if she was still struggling to trust herself, _she trusted him_. Maybe that was good enough for now.

"Plus – talk about useful - the whole Pack's going to owe you their fucking furry _hides_ after this one, babe. Because if I was benched for this fight – with these odds – there is no goddamn way we'd pull it off. And they all know it," his smile morphed back into his lop-sided smirk.

She took a deep breath as her eyes idly washed over their reflection together and then froze. She didn't realize how much bigger he was – she didn't even come up to his shoulder!

"How tall are you?" she suddenly demanded, incredulous.

"Six-five. What are you? Five-two?" he smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

Bella pursed her lips obstinately. "And a half."

"Oh, _and a half_. Shrimp." He laughed bending to kiss the crown of her head. "But we look good together, huh?"

And they did. Total opposites: his dark skin - her light. Her long wavy auburn - his short straight ebony. Her small, slender frame - his muscular bulk. His fiery, sharp eyes - her earthy, open features. There was something very appealing and just _right_ about their juxtaposition.

Paul's finger came up to trace the hollow of her cheek. "It makes me crazy seeing you like this, though. You look so tired, little girl," he whispered from under a furrowed brow. "It's like you lost ten pounds in a day that you couldn't spare anyway." His finger touched the dark circles under each eye.

Bella agreed. She did look like shit – gaunt and drawn. She hadn't told him, but after he fell asleep she had rested her cheek on his chest – just listening to the comforting sound of his heart – for as long as she could bear the pain. It had visibly taken its toll, but it was worth it. And that nap had helped some with her energy. She turned in his arms and reached her hands up to encircle his neck.

"Oh the price of healing the Pack's prize fighter," she sighed melodramatically, hoping to make him smile.

He didn't.

Bella frowned. "I'm fine, really. Just tired. And I haven't eaten in a day or something." She tried to soothe the aching anxiety in his eyes. He had a huge burden on his shoulders right now, and she didn't need to add to it.

She could be strong… _for him_.

She looked into his eyes and said emphatically with the strength of her borrowed conviction. "Paul. I don't want you worried about _anything_ but what you have to right now. 300% remember? You're right I'm not some stupid wimpy girl. After all, I beat up Sam and Jake," she jutted her chin out with comedic pride.

Paul laughed and squeezed her. "Fuck yeah. You were awesome."

"I _can_ do this."

"_We_ can do this," he amended. "It's _us_ now, babe."

Bella nodded as he pulled her off the ground and up his body. She wrapped her legs around him as she pressed her lips to his. "Mine," she whispered against his hot sweet mouth.

"Oh, yeah," he murmured. "Now, let's get some food into you…" He tried to pull away but she tightened her hold around his neck.

Bella shook her head as her lips got caught hemming that strong jaw of his with kiss after kiss. "We can take it with," she mumbled against the sprint of his pulse as she rubbed her crotch suggestively on his flat abs and felt him shudder. Drawing her nose over his skin and raising chill bumps, she reached his ear and tugged at the lobe with her teeth.

Paul gasped and covetously tightened his arms around her.

"I _need_ you," she beseeched in a breathy whisper. Because she did. She _needed_ to feel the deep comforting pulse of him in her heart, soul …_and_ _body_. Just one more time before whatever was coming next.

"Mm, shit babe. Twist my arm," he chuckled darkly as he nuzzled her neck. "Mine," he growled as his hot lips tried to capture her racing pulse.

Paul pushed the bathroom door closed and clicked the lock.

'

* * *

><p><em>(think: American Southern drawl...)<em>

'

"Oh, my poor love," Edward bemoaned dramatically yet another time as he sifted through Alice's memories from where he sat in the back of the car.

Earlier that day, Alice and Jasper had stopped by to see Charlie to try and get some answers. He hadn't exactly been happy to see them, but between Jasper's gifts and Alice's thrall they had gotten the earful they had hoped for.

Jasper couldn't quite get on board with what his wife and brother were planning. He just wasn't the meddling type. Even so though, the addition of Bella might not be that bad a fringe benefit, even if it was meddlesome: she was delectable in so many ways.

Jasper had been drawn to her bright, untarnished emotions the first day he'd met her. She felt deeply, even for a human, and unlike the majority he had encountered, her feelings weren't smothered under a thick greasy layer of self-absorption. He reckoned that was one of the reasons she was such an irresistible temptation. That heady passionate bouquet of guileless emotion along with the unusual sweetness of her blood was a potent combination, indeed.

After Edward had started dating her, her emotional palatability had been muted somewhat, but that was just the affect of the thrall. Jasper was more aware than any of them of the effect of his kind on humanity. Even the most inane interaction with a vampire muted and soured a human's emotionality.

Such a Goddamn shame.

But like a fine wine, Bella's emotions had aged. Deepened. Bloomed. Her feelings had returned to their shocking brilliance.

Something had been wrong yesterday – that much had been obvious – but underneath the sharp tang of fear and worry, there was a profound depth of some mysterious _something else _altogether.

A longing, a connection, a wholeness… was it love? No, it was nothing like any love he'd ever encountered.

And it was immutable. Even Edward's momentary thrall hadn't quelled that fervent fire. It wasn't anything Jasper had ever encountered in his many, many years and it was alluring.

And addictive.

He wanted to taste more of it.

To submerge himself in that cocktail and just steep.

But it was a tricky thing, this hunger. He was getting better at the discipline it took to appreciate a confection without consuming it, but then again for him it was more than simply resisting the blood's call. It was about resisting the driving obsession to _feel_ again.

Vampires didn't feel. Not really. Of everyone Jasper should know. They were obsessive and instinctual creatures frozen in a form that existed purely for self-gratification. Eternally and ravenously trying to recapture the memory of life, of passion, satiation.

Jasper always had called a spade a spade.

He had no trouble really with what he was; he'd always been a practical, realistic gent. Now, he was the honorable type and never had a stomach for suffering –and what with his empathic gifts that now went double. So he wasn't one to draw it all out or take a life that would be missed if he could help it. But truth be known, he also didn't have a problem with taking life at all. The right life. The right time, if he could help it.

His wife had invested herself in this parody of humanity that Carlisle had created. It seemed false and contrived to him, but he wasn't the judging type and it made her happy. But in the end, they were really just going through motions though, because vampires could never truly love. Only possess.

"See, aren't you glad that Jas and I went and talked to Charlie?" Alice chided in her high little voice as she turned back to give Edward a pouty face. She glanced to where Jasper drove and her expression instantly morphed into a grin. "See, I told you Charlie likes me!"

"Well now, darlin'… In all fairness, I did give you a little assistance with that," Jasper smiled, cutting his eyes over to where his wife was pouting again. It was probably a good thing that vampires didn't have visceral emotions; he'd probably get whiplash from their mercurial temperaments.

Jasper returned his eyes to the country road. They would park out here another mile or so and then run to the agreed upon location to meet the wolves. He was looking forward to this. A battle was a thing that was cut and dry – all action-like, black and white with no messy shades of grey to get in the way.

"I will find it a difficult exercise indeed to endure this, now that we know what they've done to her," Edward ground out. "Jasper, you may need to restrain me when I discover which one is this _Paul_."

"Don't you worry now, I'll take care of you, alright," Jasper caught Edward's reflection in the rear view mirror and bared his teeth in feigned feral threat.

Edward didn't even register the humor. "Are you certain this is the most prudent course? I find myself wishing to just grab up my darling and …"

Jasper interrupted what would be yet another long simpering monologue. "It serves us, right enough. You don't want the bitch comin' round knocking again. And it just don't seem right, these newborns killin' and killin' - no rhyme nor reason and causing such a ruckus. We'll use the man-power and then best be on our way." If anything at all though, Jasper had honor. Even if it _was_ only an instinct left over from the days when he still had a heart, he still clung to that hard.

"They're animals, not men," Edward corrected him hotly.

"Dog-power then," Jasper grinned evilly in the mirror. He had never met a werewolf and was looking forward to it immensely. So very little was new anymore. "And shoot, I need a good fight right about now. It's been way too long." Jasper drawled, looking out the window.

Alice turned all the way to face the back, pulling her knees up to her chin."Then afterward we can bring her with us Edward. And we can be a family again," she piped with a quick bounce on the seat.

"Immortal though I am, I grow impatient, Alice," Edward sighed morosely.

Alice giggled.

"What happens if she doesn't wanna come? Maybe she's happy with this gent," Jasper suggested out of the side of his mouth – part way from a penchant for mischief, part from the memory of those delectable feelings of hers.

Alice slapped his shoulder with a crack as Edward hissed in the back seat and Jasper had to hide a gratified smile.

"Jas, you heard what Charlie said. That boy has a really bad reputation and he _hurt_ Bella. He's taking advantage of her and giving her drugs." Alice asserted with indignant disdain.

Edward hissed savagely. "Truly, I shall not manage to-"

"Now, he didn't say he was giving her _nothin'_ - just that it was _like_ that, that's all," Jasper corrected, interrupting Edward again before he could ramp himself up. It had taken him the whole of the day to convince him that standing and fighting was the best solution. "She was right clear-headed when we saw her. 'Least her emotions weren't all fuzzy-like when humans partake."

Alice suddenly went rigid with a gasp.

Jasper cut his eyes over to her and put a soothing hand on her thigh.

And he waited – he was patient.

"Damn," Edward spit from the back seat. "How unfortunate."

Alice turned her huge, haunted eyes to her husband. "The timeline has changed. They're using the cover of darkness," she intoned. "They'll be here before midnight."

Jasper expelled a breath through his nose in frustration. He preferred to have proper time for planning and the like. "See, even with the mutts, this fight's gonna be somethin' else. Let's just focus on getting the job done right and we'll worry about Bella on the other side."

'

* * *

><p>0<p>

'

Jasper had begged ten minutes alone with the wolves so he could get a proper read on his troops - so to speak -before Edward strode in and stirred everything up.

'Cause he knew he would.

Jasper had been debriefed by Edward on just what to expect in a werewolf, but he still wasn't prepared for their sheer size. Careful to keep his movements to a human speed so as not to spook them, Jasper's keen gaze ran over the pack of giant wolves who were neatly organized into a row of four seated on their haunches flanking three men. He recognized two of the bare-chested Quileute who had been at the meeting: the Alpha, Sam, and his Second. As he crossed the large field, growls rumbled like thunder under the soles of his feet.

Sam held up a gruff hand and there was immediate silence.

It occurred to Jasper that even with his prowess they would make quick work out of him, if that was their intention. But Jasper suspected they were using them just the same as he was.

Behind the row of four wolves sat another – the largest of the group and reddish brown – stretched out under the a large spreading oak. Nestled in against its flanks was a sleeping Bella. Jasper's gaze lingered on the girl for a moment as his brow furrowed– she looked pale and noticeably thinner than yesterday. How could that be possible?

_Focus_.

Jasper tore his gaze from the sleeping girl and met Sam's stare with a subtle nod of acknowledgement and he switched his attention to the men before him. Alpha and second stood side by side with shoulders squared and feet planted proudly. But the third…

Jasper's gaze locked intently on the third. _Ahh… Jasper recognized a soldier when he saw one_.

And this man was undoubtedly a dangerous one. Even the way he was casually stretched out in the grass – leaning back on his arms, ankles crossed indolently, head cocked with a wry knowing smile – couldn't disguise the intensity, power and perception behind that insouciant self-assurance.

Jasper's lips curved in a slow appreciation as he tipped his head.

The man held his gaze with glittering eyes as a brow lifted minutely in subtle recognition of something kindred.

This one had some other agenda all together though, Jasper could sense it. He reached out and tasted the emotions of the man before him…

… and nearly lost his composure altogether.

_Rage_. A blistering, burning, inexorable rage was roiling beneath that cool poise. The depth and intensity was breathtaking.

But perhaps even more shocking: beneath that fiery hell, the same unnamable, unfathomable, immutable _something_ that he had felt in Bella was burning just as hot and bright.

It was so alluring, appealing, seductive that Jasper felt the venom sprint down the back of his throat.

Regaining control of himself, he tore his attention from the predator and sampled the emotions of the other two men. They were focused and angry as expected. The Alpha, strangely, had remnants of this same unique flavor as well. Not nearly as brilliant and aching, but still undoubtedly coloring his emotions.

Jasper cocked his head. _These beings were intriguing._ So little intrigued him anymore.

There was a large crop of boulders just to the side of the Pack and Jasper made his way slowly toward them.

"Uley. Thank you for meeting our requirements," Jasper said formally as he stopped beside the outcropping and nodded toward Bella. The wolves were all alert and following his every movement. He leaped up lightly to sit on one of the large stones and propped his forearms on this thighs.

Sam nodded briskly. "Where are the others?"

"They'll be along in just a minute. I thought it might be nice to have a little tete-a-tete before they got here, you and me being the moderate gents that we are."

Again Sam nodded with no expression. "You've met my Second. This is our _combat specialist_," a small smile slipped out with the cryptic nomenclature as he nodded to the man stretched out in the grass.

Jasper met that steely gaze again and couldn't help his amused half smile. "Yeah, I got that part figured well enough."

"How do you want to proceed?" Sam asked, clasping his hands before him.

"Well first off, plans have changed," Jasper began.

As a unit all the wolves all sat up more, a cagey restlessness making several sway on their haunches. Sam splayed out a hand behind him without looking back and the pack visibly settled.

Jasper continued, "my wife saw that they're coming sooner than we figured. Gonna use the cover of night – which makes good damn sense. 'Timeline right now is just before midnight."

A whine slipped from the muzzle of one of the animals as Alpha and second leaned in to murmur to one another. The man on the grass didn't react but continued to stare Jasper down with an unnerving dispassion.

Sam took a step forward. "So we plan first, and then train." Stooping, the Alpha picked up a large folded paper that was resting in the grass and straightened with it in his fist. "I brought a map of the area."

Jasper nodded once and watched as Sam took several steps past the inferred wolf boundary. Correspondingly Jasper pushed off the rocks and took slow steps toward him, as the wolves whined restlessly.

With no apparent warning, a loud long howl pierced the cloudy afternoon and Jasper froze in his tracks.

Sam turned and glared at the animal silencing it, and then trained his gaze behind Jasper.

_Ahh, Edward._

Jasper turned and watched as Alice and Edward crossed the field with no attempts to mask their unnatural speed. It had been Edward _himself_ who had said the wolves instinctually reacted to the vampiric reflexes.

_What was he doing?_

_He wasn't thinking, that's what._

His eyes were singularly locked on Bella, all previous plans and strategies forgotten in his driving obsession. Jasper moved to intercept as the wolves pushed off their haunches to stand as one.

Jasper extended his arm across Edward's chest. "Whoa there. Remember where you are now, brother." Jasper hissed.

Edward's eyes were locked on the girl who was still innocently curled up on the pelt of her wolf. "Bella! Oh, my poor love," his voice was anguished. Jasper decided that he had also noticed her health's decay.

A grating snarl ripped from the snouts of every last wolf in unison, the two men even growling deep in their chests. Only the one in the grass didn't move a muscle, but Jasper heard the harsh grinding of his teeth.

Jasper would have expected such a vehement protective reaction for one of their own Pack… but for Bella?

_Interesting_.

The rumble under her ear from the red wolf's growls, finally startled Bella awake and she jerked into a sitting position, hair wild and eyes disoriented.

She did look unnaturally worn and exhausted.

"Darling… Bella are you ill? Bella! Come," Edward called pressing against Jasper's arm.

"No, I'm fine Edward. I'm just tired. I'm going to rest here," Bella said quietly knowing that her voice would be heard even over the lingering snarls.

Edward's gaze snapped angrily to Sam's. "Are you holding her against her volition?"

Sam scowled. "You should address your questions about Bella, _to_ Bella. She is free to do and say as she pleases."

"Edward! I'm _fine_. I just want to stay here and watch right now. I'm tired. Please," she murmured pleadingly. Her hand had buried itself in the ruff of the huge red wolf beside her. She was terrified Jasper realized… but of what he couldn't tell.

Jasper spoke to Edward's profile as he gazed longingly at the girl 100 feet away. "Unfortunately time is not on our side, at the moment. Reminiscing will have to wait for later," Jasper murmured pointedly_. _

In his mind he added_, Edward, they out-number us if you haven't noticed. If you want to save her life, you must focus on the task at hand. After the battle we can take this up again._

Edward turned finally and met his gaze. "How true, Jasper. Forgive me, I forget myself," he hissed through gritted teeth and then he met Sam's narrowed gaze.

Sam spoke in his low commanding voice, trying to get the meeting back on track. "Let's formulate our plan so that we can move on to training."

"Sure thing," Jasper crooned solicitously. "May I?" he held his hand out for the map. Taking the map to the stone outcropping, Jasper spread it out over one of the boulders. "Alice, you see them coming through this pass?"

Throwing Edward a warning look she danced over to where Jasper was considering the map.

"Uh huh. Right here, Jas. And right now it looks like it's at…" she closed her eyes. "11:45 tonight," she announced brightly.

Edward came up to stand beside Jasper as Sam and his Second looked on from the side. Without provocation, Edward suddenly whipped around and glared at the row of wolves behind him.

_What is it?_ Jasper thought.

"They're all singing this awful song from _Mama Mia_. Horrid," Edward hissed quickly in the vampire register so it wouldn't be heard. Immediately all the wolves started howling.

He couldn't help it. Jasper burst out laughing.

"Would you keep your words to a normal pitch?" Sam interjected in a growl. "That leech-speak hurts our ears."

"My apologies. My brother thought it might be considered impolite to disparage your Pack's taste in music to your face," Jasper turned and gave Sam a saccharine smile.

_It was a clever foil, he'd give him that._

A covert grin tugged at the corner of Sam's lips as he returned his attention to the map. "So they enter the valley here before heading to Forks. This area here is a good one for a stand." Sam glanced at his Second and then turned around to the other still sprawled, casually in the grass. "The pass over by Dante Lake," he provided and the man nodded minutely.

Jasper pursed his lips. "I agree. The natural landscape restricts their movement. It is a good place for an ambush. We can have Bella leave her scent in the area to draw them in. It might be just enough to send them into a frenzy and lower their guard."

Edward stepped forward. "We should sequester Bella well away from the fray. I was thinking up on this mountain here," Edward pointed. "I think it best if I stay to guard her since my gifts may be used from afar," he turned and met Sam's gaze with intensity. Jasper could feel his attempts to sway him with thrall.

But Sam's face just went livid. "That fucking bullshit doesn't work on us, bloodsucker," he bit out. A vibration rolled over his body – it was the first time Jasper had seen a crack in their leader's unflappable calm.

The Pack shifted behind him and low growls rose up and reverberated off the stones.

Sam's voice hissed dangerously, "If you want to try that again, I just might have to-"

"It's an idiotic plan," a deep voice spat mockingly, interrupting the escalation.

All three vampires whipped around at the first word from the silent man on the grass. His head was tipped back to the grey heavy sky and his eyes were closed as if he were thinking.

Or trying to keep it together.

Jasper wondered which it was.

Slowly he lowered his head and opened eyes that glowed hot yellow. Peeling himself up off the grass he stood with a smooth and furtive power. Stretching his limbs lithely, he cracked his neck and strode forward. His gate was mercurial and nonchalant but belied the burning rage that Jasper felt rolling off him waves.

Instinctively they all parted to give him a wide berth. His finger unerringly found a rocky outcropping just barely a mile away from where they were planning to do battle. "Here. She will wait here. Close enough that if that bitch sees through the plan, we are near enough to defend her. Far enough that if things go as planned she's out of the way." The man turned and glared at Edward. "We will choose one of our younger wolves to guard her so her safety is linked to the Pack mind," he crooned silkily. "All who can fight are needed with these odds. I mean, you _can_ fight can't you?" His lips hitched up in a disparaging smirk.

Edward hissed in annoyance. "Preposterous," he glared daggers at the man who was nearly a head taller. "I will hardly allow my Bella to be guarded by some pubescent puppy."

The man's face went instantly intense.

He drew in a long breath through his nose. "You brought this shit on her didn't you? Payback for the redhead's mate that you so sloppily killed?"

Edward narrowed his eyes. "Unfortunate, yes. A mate for a mate."

"She'll be looking for _your_ scent too, leech. She'll think you won't leave her …since she believes –_**mistakenly**_ – that you're her mate-"

Edward snarled.

Jasper quickly stepped in between them and sent feelings of calm out into the heart of the explosive situation. If it worked on the werewolves, he couldn't tell.

He had been spot on in his first impression: that boy was wily alright. "That actually make a whole heap of sense," he eyed his brother warningly. _He's baiting you, but he's right. Remember your first priority is Bella's safety._

"Great! So we agree," Alice interjected hopping up on the rocks. She cocked her head as her eyes unfocused. "That looks like a good plan to me," she confirmed with a resolute nod of her head.

Edward turned his back on the group as he paced away with a frustrated huff.

The third man nodded imperceptibly to Jasper and then returned to his spot on the grass, movements measured and controlled despite the licking flames of incinerating rage carving him hollow. How did he live like that? Even Jasper couldn't bear witness to such torment – he pulled his senses back.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

The next hour was considerably less intense as Jasper ran down all the practical information the wolves needed to know about newborns: their strength, ungainliness, their rabid and uncontrollable thirst. The wolves listened attentively with curious eyes.

The Alpha and Second sat on the grass beside the other and murmured observations and notes back and forth between one another. But the third sat immobile, silent and stoic as his sharp eyes took in every last detail of what was happening before him.

Any time Jasper reached out to him though, behind that stony façade, a white-hot rage seared his every sense. _Just what drove this man? What both created and allowed him to focus through that maelstrom?_ He was an intriguing enigma that Jasper wished he had time to take apart and understand.

When the time came for Jasper to spar, he found himself more than ready to let off some of the residual steam from just being in proximity with such violence. From the look on Edward's face he was similarly glad to be working out his frustrations with his fists. It was a no-holds bar fight and the two of them were hissing and snarling with the effort by the end. Their matches always ended in a draw between Edward's gifts and Jasper's experience.

Jasper and Alice faced off next and then Edward and Alice. It was a round robin of duels as Jasper explained techniques and strategy to his fascinated and attentive students.

Their time was winding down when suddenly the man sitting on the grass stood in one graceful movement.

It was with an almost delicate dusting off of his hands, that his low crooning voice announced: "_My turn_."

All beings in human form turned to him with surprise on their faces.

His lips quirked in private amusement at such a reaction. He raised his brows toward Jasper who nodded with a slow inviting smile.

_This would be interesting. _

With a deferential glance to his Alpha, the werewolf stepped forward.

A high little squeak made both wolves and vampires whip to where Bella had stood, her hand covering her mouth, her eyes wide.

The man slowly turned and met her gaze.

When he did Jasper felt like he'd been hit by lightning. Such a complex and profound current of emotion jolted through his body that he stiffened and sucked in a breath of pure shock. Reaching out to steady himself on the boulder from the sensory tsunami that crashed over him, all the pieces of the puzzle came together.

_This was Bella's mate?_

He'd never felt such a thing as their emotional connection. It was deep, timeless, luscious, complex… like a honey comb. A bite of which promised unparalleled sweetness that burst in the mouth and with just enough texture to satisfy the most voracious appetite.

Edward's sharp rasping breath distracted Jasper from his utter captivation. Jerking his head around Jasper's gaze darted to where Edward's incredulous ochre eyes burned with a veritable Molotov cocktail in reaction to what he read in Jasper's mind.

Edward licked his lips and turned back to the wolves. "Paul?" he called out experimentally.

The man turned around with a wry hitch to his lips. "Yep."

"Ah, such a pleasure. I've heard quite a bit about you," Edward hissed as his lips pulled back from his teeth.

"None of it good, I hope," Paul chuckled darkly as he flashed gleaming canines.

"I would say that's about right," Edward murmured. "So will you do me the honors?" He held out a hand in a parody of grace, inviting him to spar.

_Careful,_ Jasper cautioned in his thoughts. _We need him, remember? He's the best o' the bunch. You can exact your revenge __after__ the fight._

"Oh I will, don't worry Jasper," Edward answered in a low snarl.

In an interesting move, Paul turned his back on them then and spoke to his Pack. "So we've been seeing just exactly how these bloodsuckers fight. But wolf techniques will be different," he said smoothly, in a calm and mesmerizing voice.

"Our strength lies in Pack – we hunt as a group - but just by the numbers of this thing, we're all gonna have to do a little one-on-one. And there's power in the Phase. I think we can use that to our advantage. The way I see it, these leech larvae are mostly visual – not used to using their other tick senses. They're distractible. Kind of like Edward." Paul turned to consider Edward with a patronizing smile. "He's used to using his psycho shit, so he's a good example. If I take away his ability to fuck with your head," he tapped his temple tauntingly. "It'll be a good demonstration of how it is to fight little leech babies."

_You can't read his mind?_ Jasper asked incredulously.

"Mind? What mind?" Edward growled. "It's a cesspool of insanity inside that cretin's head."

A wave of terror washed over Jasper and his head turned automatically to where Bella was still standing, her entire body now shaking. The funny thing was – as if he had felt the same wash of fear –Paul did the exact same thing.

The big red wolf beside her whined softly and bumped her with its massive head and Bella slowly sat down, as tears traced two neat lines down her cheeks.

Paul turned back around and glanced up at Jasper, "why do we have to burn the pieces?"

Surprised and confused, Jasper frowned, "because if you don't, our kind can be put back together. Good as new."

"Nice," Paul smirked sarcastically. He turned back around and fixed Edward with a shrewd smile. "So if I rip off your head, then I win, 'kay?"

Edward laughed humorlessly. "And if I rip your head off?"

"You win," Paul answered coolly not missing a beat as he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his shorts.

"At least I have a big target," Edward hissed disparagingly.

Paul laughed, unperturbed, and in one smooth move, he was stepping out of his shorts.

Alice squeaked in surprise and quickly fixed Jasper with her shocked averted eyes.

Jasper chuckled, amused. _The boy had balls. Literally._

Edward's brow was drawn in urbane disapproval. He glanced past Paul toward where Bella sat, quivering, under the tree.

"Don't worry." Paul raised an eyebrow with a sly smile. "She's seen it all anyway."

Edward snarled and threw himself in fury. With the speed of his kind he was inches from the man when he exploded into a huge gray wolf with paws prone. The sheer force of the transformation and his body's impact threw Edward back a good fifty feet.

_Edward, calm yourself. He knows what he's doing, he riled you up, _Jasper warned.

The wolf leaped a good forty feet, pouncing after the vampire who had immediately crouched aggressively. Edward lunged for the beast and was greeted with a human round-house kick to the face as the shapeshifter transformed in mid air. Using the momentary distraction of surprise to his advantage, Paul landed several punishing blows before he once again metamorphosed into the giant animal. The sheer size differential in combination with claw and force again threw Edward to the ground.

_Fascinating technique. That boy was right canny._ Jasper found it impossible not to appreciate the man's artful fluency in combat. That rage powered him like a dynamo when focused behind that mind. Each twisting lithe move had the potency of unstoppable decimation. Even if it was painful to watch his brother take hit after hit, Jasper found himself padding the odds in their favor for this battle.

With a grating screech, the snapping jaws of the wolf severed Edward's arm to his elbow, throwing it haphazardly to the side as he continued his relentless assault.

Alice shrieked and Jasper pulled her soothingly to his side. He wasn't worried for Edward's safety, just his pride. Interestingly enough, Paul was using restraint in this spar – otherwise that appendage would have been his head, Jasper was sure of it.

Congealing again to human form, Paul again threw himself at the vamp in the aftermath of his surprise dismemberment. But Edward recovered quickly and spun into a lightning blow with the stub of his arm to Paul's stomach that made him double over. Edward followed it up with a fist that cracked him in the face so hard he flew back into the air.

Moving with the momentum of the throw, Paul twisted his body and landed on four rabid feet, lunging again as the wolf.

Edward grabbed for him in typical newborn fashion, grappling to get his arms around the wolf's huge body.

Quickly phasing back into his lithe human form, Paul slipped from his grasp and then exploded again in fur using the transformation to slam Edward off balance. His prey staggering from the impact, in a final leap the wolf smashed and pinned the vampire's body to the ground with both massive paws.

Paul seamlessly phased so that his knee was firmly planted between Edward's shoulder blades, his hands finding purchase on either side of his head. With a melodramatic jerk of his arms he mimed the rending of Edward's skull from his body.

"Oh, sna-_p_," he hissed over a dark chuckle, popping the P.

Then, fisting his hands in Edward's wild hair, he leaned over his ear. Jasper could barely hear the rabid whispered words over the celebratory lupine howls.

"You _ever_ pull any of that fucking bullshit you tried on her last night again– you so much as _look_ at her without her permission - I'll rip off this head and let it watch while I shred and burn the pieces of this skinny-ass body. Understand, motherfucker?" he hissed savagely. "Bella's _mine__. _And I _will_ kill you if you fuck with her again. _That's a goddamn fucking promise_."

As Edward snarled, Paul pushed roughly off him, spitting up blood and wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

Jasper darted out to collect Edward's severed appendage and returned to where Alice was helping up her seething brother.

Reattaching his hand, Edward turned just in time to see Bella throw herself into Paul's arms, tears streaming down her cheeks as she melted against his chest.

Edward narrowed his eyes and hissed viciously as Jasper restrained him with a hand on his arm.

Alice rubbed his shoulders. "Don't worry, we'll get her back," she whispered.

Jasper wasn't so sure.


	24. Chapter 24 Promises

**24 Promises**

"Hold still," Bella hissed tersely as she dabbed at the blood on Paul's face.

Paul rolled his eyes with a long suffering sigh from where he knelt in the grass so Bella could comfortably reach his face. It made them _almost_ eye level. She gingerly cleaned it off with one of those ever-useful wet wipes while she ran cataloguing fingers delicately over every inch of his head and shoulders.

_He's alright. Paul was okay_, the voice soothed in her mind.

Bella mopped up the rest of the blood and then pressed her mouth to his again-swollen lips. "I guess it isn't serious, huh? I don't feel any of that…"

"That juju stuff o' yours? Nope. Pretty much already healed, babe. I'm just letting you do this for obvious reasons." He grinned and snuck another kiss. "And because it's driving Cullen so crazy," he chuckled wickedly.

With a sharp intake of breath Bella whipped around to look over her shoulder. Edward was making no apologies for staring daggers at them while Alice and Jasper were talking quickly on either side.

It was so easy to forget everything around Paul– even the vampires who were tensely toeing the invisible boundary between them and the Pack. As her imprint, Paul was naturally her complete and total focus.

_Especially_ when bloody. _Especially then_.

Turning back to him she swallowed thickly. "What happens if a werewolf gets bitten?" she asked at the sudden fear, in no more than a breath.

Paul's eyes darted between hers. He pushed off the ground and stood and pulled her to his warm broad chest. "That's not gonna happen babe," he murmured stroking her hair.

Bella dropped the wipe and wrapped her arms around his muscled torso. "What happens though? Would you be turned?" she asked softly as she rested her cheek against his pec and listened to the glorious sound of his beating heart.

"No. It kills us."

Bella squeezed him and turned her face into his warm skin, still slick and musky with perspiration. She breathed deeply of his comforting scent.

"It's not gonna happen. This'll all be over before you know it, little girl," he crooned soothingly.

Pursing her lips emphatically, she tipped her head up, resting her chin against him. "I can't lose you," she fiercely informed him.

Paul's eyes softened and he bent his head down to press his lips to her hairline. "You won't."

"Uh, Bella?"

A voice made her pull away just enough to see Seth holding out something in his hand. "It was in the glove box," he provided releasing the pocket knife into her hand.

He and several others had run back to where her truck was parked to fetch the supplies they had brought with them just in case of something like this. The timeline had changed and there was no time to go back to the Rez.

They would be moving to the final staging area within the hour.

The warm wood and metal in her hand soothed her and she smiled gratefully up to the youngest - but still hulking - werewolf. "Thanks, Seth."

"What's this?" Paul asked curiously as he brought a hand around to gently pry open her fingers.

Bella blushed. "It's stupid. It's my girl scout pocket knife," she wrinkled her nose, embarrassed. "I just wanted to have _some_ kind of weapon."

Paul turned it over in his hand and then looked at her from under his long straight lashes. "That's awesome, babe," he said quietly, not a trace of mockery in his voice. He was so good at making her feel like what she thought and said actually counted for something – no one in her life had ever done that before.

Bella gratefully went up on tiptoes to kiss his chin. "I love you," she whispered over his pulse.

Paul blinked and his eyes darted between hers. "I-… I c-can't… you know I-… but I … I –" he choked in an uncharacteristically awkward stammer.

Bella rubbed her nose soothingly over his collarbone, she didn't need him to be over all his issues. She knew how he felt about her. She _knew_. "Shh. Just know it, kay? When you're out there tonight fighting these things…" she couldn't help the quiver of fear in her voice. "Just know that I love you. "

Paul squeezed his arms around her as he bent over to collapse his cheek on her shoulder like a little boy. "I do, and it's the most awesomest gift of my whole fucking life."

Bella's hand came up to hold the back of his head to her savagely. "And that you have to come back," she hoarsely whispered. "_I can't lose you_."

"Shh, you won't. Promise," he breathed into her neck. "Now come little girl. I want you to eat a little more before we have to get going."

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Jasper watched as the bare-chested Paul jogged into the meadow, where they would stand against the newborns, carrying Bella bridal style. He set her down and kissed her with a tenderness that seemed at odds with the ruthless violence and rage he had so successfully showcased just an hour earlier.

Jasper was intrigued.

The situation certainly wasn't as they had first suspected after having talked to Charlie; Bella and this man were in love. Deeply in love. Jasper had never felt something like their bond – and he had no idea how such a thing was possible if indeed they had just met recently. Their connection was one that at least needed to be cultivated over a mortal lifetime. Or more.

Jasper was beyond intrigued. He was _mesmerized_.

"Can you try to rein in your damn thoughts? Is it asking too much that you not fawn over that beast? It is painful enough to see how he's twisted her!" Edward growled beside him.

Jasper couldn't help the roll to his eyes. "She feels just as strongly as he does," he interjected against his better judgment. _You need to accept that she's moved on, Edward._

Edward hissed vengefully. "Chief Swan was right; it_ is_ unnatural. Perhaps she _has_ been given some kind of narcotic."

Jasper pursed his lips and shook his head. "Nope, that doesn't seem likely. It's organic alright."

"Impossible. That animal isn't the kind of brute for sweet Bella. Look what he's done to her!" Edward snarled as he watched her tenaciously pull the man back into a deep and passionate kiss. The man bent to pick her up into his arms again and Bella wrapped her legs around the man with overt and unapologetic sensuality.

Edward's venom rose as bile at the soft little moan that escaped her lips. _She should be making that sound for him._

Jasper felt his brother's searing and covetous jealousy and tried to soothe it with peaceful acceptance.

"Stop that," Edward turned on him in rage.

"Suit yourself," Jasper sighed. "But we need to focus on this fight right about now. They'll be time enough later for mourning lost love."

"I haven't lost _anything_," Edward hissed savagely. "It was _taken_! By that vile and carnal barbarian who has so reprehensibly defiled such unsullied innocence. It sickens me."

"C'mon Jas. It's weird. She's so different!" Alice chirped as she leaned her head on her brother's shoulder.

Oddly it didn't feel like Bella was so much _different_ to Jasper. It felt like she was… _whole._

Jasper watched curiously where Bella had sat between Paul's knees, leaned back nestled against his chest while he doodled on a piece of paper aimlessly as the Alpha and Second reviewed plans with the Pack. They were so comfortable together.

"God, can you stop it?" Edward hissed viciously.

Jasper turned his attention to where he was idly combing through Alice's ebony spikes with his fingers. "You two are still keeping with that same plan?" he asked her quietly.

Alice turned and looked him in the eye and nodded resolutely. "It's what's best for her," she affirmed with confidence. Whether it was a byproduct of the nature of her gift of something else entirely, anything Alice said always sounded like a pronouncement of undeniable truth.

"I thought you couldn't see her anymore," Jasper hedged quietly, placing a kiss on her smooth, cool cheek.

"Yeah, I think it's the werewolves. Bella wouldn't have gotten into this mess if they hadn't gummed up my vision in the first place!" she accused indignantly.

Jasper expelled a breath. "Well darlin' you know I love you, but I just can't seem to give this one my carte blanche."

"That's okay, you don't have to. But promise you won't tell," Alice warned with pouty lips.

Jasper raised a brow.

"Promise!" she pressed, childlike.

"Okay darlin' I promise." He squeezed her tiny little body. "You know I can't deny you nothin'," he chuckled in her ear.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Paul shored up the fire which cracked and popped in the silent night. Dusting his hands off, he stood and turned to where Bella fidgeted beside a phased Seth, her hands feathered deeply in the ruff of his neck as if it could ground her.

_Paul felt her fear._

He closed his eyes and drew in a long breath through his nose. He didn't want to leave her here alone. He didn't.

But he had no choice.

"How are you doing, Bella?" he asked quietly as he took a step toward her and held out his hand invitingly.

Releasing the large wolf beside her immediately, Bella threw herself into Paul's arms. "Fine," she murmured into his chest.

He scented the lie, but he said nothing. She was trying to be brave for him.

"It'll be fast, okay? I promise." Paul wrapped his arms around her with all the tenderness in his being. "I'm sorry to have to leave you, little girl. Seth'll keep you safe. I'll be listening to him the whole time – I'm only a few minutes away."

Bella pulled away and turned to meet Seth's lupine stare. "I know. _Seth rocks_," she smiled sincerely at the wolf, instinctively soothing the agitation Paul felt shimmering around their youngest pack mate.

Seth was in the same vulnerable place as Bella. They had both been through so much trauma and confusing change in the last week that the whole of this situation seemed cruelly unfair. But Paul had learned long ago that life was hardly fair.

He took another deep breath and bent to press his mouth to his mate's. "I need to go," he whispered over those wildflower-honeyed lips.

Bella grabbed his face and pulled him into a deeper kiss in which he could taste her bone-breaking worry. He melted into her warm, sweet mouth and tried to infuse her with comfort.

She pulled back, her eyes running wildly over his face as if she were inventorying his every feature for the last time. _Because that's exactly what she was doing. Shit. He couldn't even allow himself to consider such a possibility._

He sighed heavily. His wolf did not like to see her afraid, and neither did he. "Shh, babe. Everything's going to be fine. Promise."

"You can't," she said quietly.

Paul's eyebrows raised.

"You _can't_ promise."

He smiled sadly. "No I guess I can't…" _He wanted to so badly._

"Don't worry about me, though. I'll be okay." Bella pulled back and lifted her chin courageously. Her expression transformed to one of mischief. "**BUT**, you'd better come back, or I may have to kill you _myself_ with my pocket knife," she wiggled her eyebrows with a smile.

Paul grimaced comically. "That clinches it right there, little girl. No way I'm risking _that_ painful death. I saw what you did with my Alpha."

Bella laughed, stress stretching the sound into something humorless.

Paul pursed his lips. "Here," he whispered, pulling a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. "Don't open it until I'm gone, kay?" he asked as she took it from his fingers.

She pulled the paper to her breast, questions putting a pucker between her brow.

Paul had to abruptly turn his back on the tears that finally broke through her dauntless façade as he jogged off into the night.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella watched the space in the darkness where Paul disappeared until Seth whined and bumped her side with his muzzle. Turning, she walked slowly toward the licking flames burning a halo of shelter into the night, feeling suddenly alone.

She sat on the ground by the fire heavily. She could be much better than this.

_She could. _

Wiping impatiently at her cheeks she looked up at the huge wolf who collapsed onto his haunches before her. Seth was no more than a boy - even though he was only slightly smaller than the rest of them – and she felt responsible for him, not the other way around.

She _had_ to be much better than this.

"This kinda sucks, huh?" Bella attempted a smile. "At least _you_ get a ringside seat to what's going on."

Seth whined softly and put his muzzle down on his front paws.

With a sigh, Bella lowered the paper into her lap. She recognized that it was actually the butcher paper wrapping from one of the sandwiches they had brought them to feed the pack. She carefully unfolded it and gasped at the picture that peered back at her.

Paul had captured the image of them standing before the bathroom mirror just hours earlier with his usual precise and soulful perfection. Paul stood behind Bella, his hands resting on her shoulders, her favorite wry smile twisting his lips…

… and unmistakable affection sparkling in his eyes.

Bella pressed her lips together and smoothed the paper out on her knee. Beneath the image of them, in neat but artistic block letters was written - simple, sure and true: "I LOVE YOU, BABE. PAUL"

A surprise tear fell onto the paper and she quickly wiped it away, careful not to smudge the delicate pencil strokes.

Seth lifted his snout and cocked his head curiously with a little yip.

"If you tease him about this, I'll have to skin you and use you for a rug, Seth," she warned humorously and turned the paper around to show him the drawing. She laughed at the bouncing chuckling noise that Seth made in his throat. Even in wolf form the predictable macho Pack reaction translated clearly.

Turning it back around she examined the image again. He had rendered both their features and expressions with breathtaking depth and realism but noted that he had drawn them both in full health. She was glad; shedidn't need to see the circles under her eyes to remind her of the fact that she still felt like shit.

Painstakingly refolding the paper to create no new creases, she carefully slid it into her jeans back pocket.

Now there was nothing to do but wait.

And waiting had _never_ been more agonizing.

Only about ten minutes had passed when Seth suddenly sat up stiffly with a soft yowl, his eyes focused on things Bella couldn't see. She watched the giant wolf as he shifted restlessly on his paws. He whined and his body twitched and jerked in reaction to whatever he was seeing in the Pack mind.

For almost half an hour she turned her pitiful little knife over in her hand as she anxiously watched Seth follow the battle, her entire world shrunk down to the firelight playing on the giant sandy wolf.

Then suddenly he vaulted up to his feet, a vicious growl ripping from his chest. Bella nearly fell off the rock she was sitting on in surprise.

"What is it, Seth?" her whisper was laced with a shriek.

But the wolf was turned with razor focus toward the darkness his body coiled into an aggressive crouch.

Bella realized he was no longer watching the Pack's struggle. He was tracking something just outside of the circle of flickering light.

Scrabbling up to stand, Bella flipped the pocket knife open and clutched it in her hand. She struggled to listen out past the crackle of the fire, into the darkness beyond, past her deep panting breaths and the frantic thud of her heart.

What stepped out of the shadows was not what Bella had expected, but was another kind of nightmare altogether.

_Edward_.

He slunk into the edges of the camp with a feline grace, his hands held up placidly. The firelight licked his alabaster skin and made the planes of his face severe, his eyes black.

"Bella, my love," he whispered.

Bella licked her lips as she took a step back. "E-Edward. What happened? Is it over?" she tried to keep her voice steady, casual and confident. She _tried_.

"It's almost over, my darling. They are finishing up as we speak," he murmured soothingly.

Seth snarled rabidly and lunched forward a pace.

Edward's attention snapped to the wolf and his teeth peeled back ominously from his teeth. "I just want to talk. I certainly don't wish to harm the young one," he crooned with a covert silken threat.

"Seth," Bella breathed. "Come here."

The wolf's ears turned toward her voice.

"Please, Seth. I need you," she whispered.

The animal slowly backed up, the grating growling continuing to rumble in his massive chest.

Bella took a step forward and buried her hand in his comforting pelt with the hand not brandishing the knife. "What do you want, Edward?" Bella's voice quavered.

"That's hardly necessary," Edward's eyes dipped to the knife and he met her gaze with a condescending smile. "And even less effective."

Bella swallowed thickly. "What do you want, Edward?"

"Isabella. My love, I've missed you so," he soothed.

"You left," Bella whispered. "You said you didn't want me anymore."

Edward took another step toward her and Seth bared his teeth in warning.

"I'm so sorry, my love. I was trying to protect you and I will never forgive myself for such an imbecilic ruse. Can you ever forgive me?" His eyes entreated with a black and bottomless draw. "Come back to me, my Bella and I will never leave your side again," he pleaded stretching his dulcet voice sumptuously over a heady and alluring ache.

For a moment, Bella felt her pupils dilate with his hypnotic seduction. Realizing what was happening, she tore her gaze from his fixing it on her feet instead. "Please… please don't do that," she rasped cryptically, releasing Seth so she could take a step back.

But Edward was single-minded in his pursuit. "Do what? Want you so badly that it breaks my poor dead heart? I yearn for you my darling, every minute of every day."

Bella looked up sharply with something Edward had never before seen in her eyes, she was sure of it.

_**Defiance**_.

"No… _mess with my head_," Bella said evenly, a sharp edge to her tone. "Edward… you left and I'm grateful, actually – it helped me realize that I can't just bend and bend _and bend_ anymore. I'll break. I was broken for a while but _he_ fixed me. I won't be someone I'm not anymore, not for anyone. And I w-wasn't myself when-."

"I never meant – " Edward interrupted her frantically. "I can't help what I am. I don't mean to –"

"It's _okay_," Bella repeated firmly. "I don't want you to be something you're not either. I just wasn't strong enough then to see it. I wanted to be _wanted_ so badly. For someone to give me attention, make me feel like I was a part of something…"

"Darling _you are_… you're a part of _me_. A part of _our family_ and we've all missed you so," Edward pressed with a satin draw. "Bella we have all missed you. Alice, Jasper… Carlisle and Esme. Emmett… even Rosalie," he crooned over a beguiling smile.

Bella shook her head as if to clear it. "I'm _happy now_. I've _found my mate_…" Bella hated that her lip quivered and she pulled up a shoulder to her ear.

"Charlie said you just met that brute last week!" he burst out, suddenly intense. "That he's using-"

Bella interrupted with an indignant raised voice, "You talked to _my dad_? Who gave you the right!"

Edward reached out a petitioning hand. "Darling we were merely worried for your safety. That lascivious monster isn't your mate… he's-"

"**Shut up**," she snapped viciously. "_Don't you talk about him like that_!" Bella's eyes were flashing as she reflexively gripped her knife tighter. "He's a _good_ _man_. He's had a crappy life but I love him. I love _him_ – no woo-woo stuff. _Him_. You've got some freaking nerve…" She stopped herself and squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her lips together in fury, as warning bells went off in her head.

She had to balance her protective rage for her mate on the fulcrum of the delicacy of this tenuous situation. She didn't want to piss Edward off more.

_She just needed to stall him until Paul got here. _

She took a deep resetting breath. "Look _I'm happy_. And I happen to be his _imprint_."

"That myth created by these libidinous _dogs?_" he laughed darkly out of the side of his mouth."Tell me, how is this different than thrall? Except such licentious depravity as was pushed on you results in your eternal debasement! What kind of life can that _animal_ offer you? I can hardly stand by and -"

Suddenly both Edward and Seth whipped around toward the darkness beyond, identical snarls grating the night.

A flash of red caught the firelight in the darkness and made Bella gasp.

Wolf and vampire tracked lightning movement just beyond where Bella could see until the redhead Bella saw in her nightmares stepped lithely into the circle of light, another young, blond vampire flanking her.

"Victoria," Edward hissed going into an aggressive crouch while Seth moved valiantly beside him.

Her bow lips lifted in a sinister smile. "I knew you'd lead me to her… eventually," her high disturbing voice piped brightly. Her gaze darted over Bella and she licked her lips. "Riley, you take the dog. I'll take the girl," her voice carved the night like a razor. "I want the other to watch while I rip his mate to shreds."

"She doesn't love you Riley," Edward crooned suddenly to the blond vampire at her side. "It's all a pretense… a lie. She loved someone named James."

The boy's eyes flickered in surprise for a moment.

"Don't listen to him!" Victoria screeched like fingernails on a chalkboard. "He's playing with your head, just like I told you!"

"You know, don't you, Riley? You've seen it in her eyes that she doesn't love you," Edward continued hypnotically. "I can see it. Your uncertainty. Your feeble hope that she'll take you as hers."

Riley turned minutely toward Victoria and Seth took that opportunity to lunge.

In a series of lightning movements too fast for Bella to follow, Victoria sprang forward and swiped at the wolf, knocking him fifty feet into a tree. With a crack, he fell to the ground with a pitiful whine.

And stayed there.

_Oh, no! Seth!_

Edward was pacing slowly in front of her now, the only thing standing between her and the two other vampires. "You don't have to die, Riley. She's just using you… you don't have to die like the others in the field… This isn't your fight, Riley."

Victoria's beady eyes were watching the space between Edward and Bella like a cat, waiting for her opening to pounce.

"She knows I'll kill you. She wants you out of the way so she can –"

Like a shadow, without warning a gray wolf leaped out of the darkness interrupting Edward's continued monologue. He threw himself in front of Victoria with a ferocious snarl.

Bella's heart leaped into her throat. _Paul_.

Paul phased, smoothly standing upright.

"Damn, that fucker talks _way_ too much, doesn't he?" Paul's velvet bass murmured in commiseration.

Victoria's eyes went round in surprise as she crouched and then snarled, "what _are_ you?"

"Werewolf," Paul drawled casually, switching his stance to one of feigned ease. _"AND her __**mate**_. 'Shame you went to all this trouble for nothing…"

Victoria's gaze whipped between Edward and Paul, her eyes blinking in overt confusion.

Paul rakishly thumbed toward Edward, "he's just the hired help. Shit luck, huh? Bitch, you got it **all wrong**." With that Paul sprang toward Victoria and phased in mid-air.

She was fast though, and leaped up to catch a branch up above her… while Riley immediately pounced.

"Edward! Do something!" Bella shrieked as the blond vampire tumbled in the leaves with the wolf.

"I must protect you, darling," he returned calmly, moving between her and the fray.

Paul phased into human form, agilely slipping from the boy's grasp, as Victoria dropped back down to double team him.

"Seth!" Bella screamed.

The young wolf had arduously stood from the leaves. With a pitiful whine, he limped on three legs as he struggled toward his Pack mate.

"No Seth!" Paul yelled, low and commanding.

_This couldn't happen like this. It just couldn't. _

"Help him Edward!" Bella screamed while she watched Paul land a swift scissor kick that threw Victoria across the clearing. He then spun into a double punch followed by a twisting throw that ripped off the boy's arm in the process of landing him on the ground.

Edward rushed half-heartedly toward where Victoria picked herself off the ground with a feral snarl.

_What was wrong with him? He wanted Paul injured, she suddenly realized. _

An image of Jasper and the paper cut flashed through Bella's mind and instinctively she turned the knife on herself.

"Victoria, look! Blood!" Bella screamed tauntingly as loud as she could and then plunged the blade into her arm, yanking it so crimson squirted across the ground.

All vampires froze in a moment of craving voraciousness.

Bella looked back up to the sound of rending steel as Victoria's head flew across the clearing landing with a metallic crash against a boulder. Like lightning, Paul pounced after Riley next.

"Tear her apart Seth!" he commanded before phasing into the giant gray wolf and leaping the fifty feet to snap the boy's body asunder.

Bella collapsed onto the ground, panting loudly in shock and relief as she watched the two wolves make quick work of shredding the jerking bodies.

Her glazed vision, snapped suddenly to movement in her periphery. Edward was slowly approaching her. "Oh Bella, my love. Why would you do such a thing? You gave me such a fright with this little stunt of yours," he moaned, his eyes trained singularly on the blood still gushing out of her arm.

"E-Edward…Stop. Don't come any closer. _Please_," Bella whispered hoarsely. His eyes were positively glittering.

Suddenly Edward was yanked around by two strong hands. "Help Seth burn the pieces, motherfucker," Paul growled low and dangerous. "We'll _talk_ more later."

Like a dam had broken, suddenly all of Bella's pent up worry and fear exploded in relieved sobs. She bit her lip as she tried to quell the ecstatic tears, her entire attention riveted on her mate.

_Paul. He was okay._

Her distress was like a magnet to her mate, and his gaze snapped to her, thoughtlessly throwing the vampire to the side.

"Babe," he whispered as he stumbled forward and knelt before her. His large hands immediately came up to cup her jaw as he snuffled over her face and neck in agitated lupine assessment. Pressing his lips briefly to hers while her she silently cried, he pulled back.

"Shh…it's all over, babe," he murmured as his hands came down to wrap around where she still fisted the knife in a white-knuckled grip. "It's all done." He gently pried the blade from her hand and set it beside them.

"You're okay?" Bella whimpered quietly as her eyes took frenetic inventory of every inch of his dirty and sweat-slicked skin. Other than a few lacerations and bruising, he looked fine.

_Paul was okay. _Something settled in contentment deep within her.

"Yeah, I think you got it worse than I did, little girl," his lips hitched in a wry smile as his hands gently lifted her arm. "This was fucking brilliant, by the way," he whispered sincerely as he leaned over and sniffed the gaping slash.

Bella had just gouged without much attention to what she was doing for obvious reasons.

For some reason it didn't surprise her in the least when Paul's tongue darted out to lave over the wound. Wordlessly he lapped her arm with long gentle strokes as she watched with fascination, not grossed out in the least. In response the bleeding obviously slowed to stop.

"Is there something with…" Bella began in surprise.

He nodded quickly, focused completely on the tasks before him."Let me get your bag," he said as he pressed his lips together and jumped up with terse efficiency.

As her gaze followed him, it got caught by the huge plume of purple smoke starting to billow up from the pile of still-twitching vampire anatomy. Her good arm reached out to snatch back up the knife reflexively. Gingerly closing it the blade, she slipped it back into her pocket.

Paul came back with her bag and unzipped it, pulling out two pairs of shorts. He threw one toward Seth. "Phase, Seth so we can set that arm."

Slipping quickly into the second pair, he bent down to Bella's now oozing gash. He tore a strip off the bottom of his shorts and wrapped it around the wound, tying it off.

Seth ambled over wearing the shorts, a grimace, and holding his broken left arm cradled painfully in his other.

"You did good, Seth," Paul nodded briskly as he stood to examine the boy.

A chorus of desolate howls suddenly peeled back the night and everyone froze.

Edward sucked in a sharp breath from where he was throwing an appendage into the purple smoke. "Oh, no," he murmured.

"What is it, leech?" Paul demanded.

Edward turned, his eyes squeezed closed. "There was another newborn in hiding and Leah tried to take it on by herself."

Seth involuntarily shuddered and Paul put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Is she okay?" Bella gasped frantically.

Edward opened his eyes, his face still contorted in empathy. "She's fine. It's _another_ wolf who was injured dragging her out of harm's way."

Bella jumped up off the ground, her whole body going numb in sudden comprehension. "Jacob?" Bella breathed.

Edward nodded gravely.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Paul held her to his chest as he ran, silent and smooth, through the darkness. Ahead, Bella made out burning pyres spotting the clearing where she had sat with Jake just hours before. Purple smoke billowed up in victorious but sobering plumes.

"Where is he?" Bella choked on her worry as her gaze scanned the austere and hazy scene.

Paul shook his head, his keen eyes scanning the area.

Silhouetted by the blaze behind them, Embry and Jared were still throwing anonymous but writhing pieces of decimation into the fires.

Paul stopped uncertainly several yards away from where Alice and Jasper were crouched beside a girl - no more than a child - who was quivering and wailing.

Jasper stood and walked toward them with a grim expression on his face. "They just left to try to get him back to the Reservation. Sam's trying to get him to Phase before his bones start to knit so that they can set them," he provided in a hushed voice, meeting Bella's gaze with unfathomable eyes.

Bella wiggled her request to get down and Paul set her gently on her feet. She stumbled toward the blonde vampire clapping her hand over her mouth to mute her cry. "Is he- will he live?" she asked, sucking in a breath through her fingers.

Jasper's lips pressed into a straight line. "Don't know yet, but that part looks promisin'. Not quite outta the woods. Whether he walks again, now…depends on whether they can get him to Phase so they can get the bones splinted. His whole right side is crushed."

Bella squeezed her eyes shut with a gasp.

"Leah?" she whispered, glancing back at Seth who was jogging up, Edward following behind closely.

"She's fine, just a broken collar bone," Jasper's smile was an attempt at comfort.

"Leah's fine, Seth," Bella needlessly repeated.

The boy met her gaze and nodded bravely as he wordlessly moved to help his brothers gather body parts for the fires.

Paul's hand came to soothe her shoulder while he called out to his other two Pack mates while the young boy jogged toward them. "Jared. He needs to have that arm set…quickly."

Jared nodded soberly and turned to examine Seth.

"Everyone else?" Bella asked quietly.

Jasper met Paul's gaze and some silent communication passed between them. His eyes again found hers. "Fine, darlin'."

Bella turned around and looked searchingly into Paul's eyes.

He bent down and pressed his lips to her forehead. "It's over, babe."

"B-But J-Jake…" she breathed.

Paul swallowed, "we'll go see-"

A screech cleaved the eerily silent battlefield and all turned to the little girl shivering beside Alice. "How can you stand it! The blood. Want! Need!" she shrilled clutching at her throat as her wild eyes were locked on Bella. Edward moved to crouch at the girl's side beside Alice.

Paul instinctively stepped between Bella and the girl as he turned his questioning gaze to Jasper.

"That's Bree. She was just so young... My wife thought we might be able to school her in our ways and save her life," Jasper explained out of the side of his mouth.

"She's already dead," Paul hissed.

Bella put her hand on his arm. The girl couldn't be more than ten or eleven – it was heartbreaking.

Alice stood, fixing Bella with her wide black eyes. "Edward, hold her," she commanded as an aside as she moved to stand beside Jasper. "Bella are you okay? I was so worried! I'm completely blind around these… creatures," she looked up accusingly at Paul.

Bella nodded quickly as a low warning rumble vibrated in Paul's chest.

"Let's go, Paul," Bella whispered, pleading. "I wanna see Jake. Take me home. _Please_."

Paul tore his gaze from the two vampires who had taken an appeasing step back from his threat of violence. He looked down at her with sharp black eyes that washed over her face. "Okay babe." Without looking up he spoke to his Pack. "You guys almost done-"

Several thing happened so fast that Bella was only was able to process them from where she fell painfully to the ground:

_Deafening hisses erupted and boiled the night air._

_Paul turned aggressively, holding his arms in defensive block of Bella's body._

_Bella was pushed roughly to the ground by Paul's foot as he turned enough for her to see the terrifying sight of Bree's tiny body rabidly clawing toward her._

Whirlwind movement around her saw Paul sever the child's head in a quick snap and throw it to the ground as he staggered back.

Alice was suddenly beside and helping Bella up. "You okay?" her tiny voice asked.

Bella didn't even register it.

Paul was unsteady on his feet barking orders to Embry and Jared who had rushed to his side.

The wild look to his eyes made an icy wash of terror well up in her body.

"Paul! Are you-" Bella tore herself from Alice's grasp – nearly breaking her arms in the process before the woman released her.

"Get back!" he choked as he stumbled once.

Bella threw herself at him. "No!"

As soon as her fingertips touched him, her entire body was ablaze in blistering flame. And then she knew.

She _knew_.

"Jasper! Don't let her touch me!" Paul croaked as his body jerked back from her grasp.

Cold hard hands wrapped around Bella's crazed body as she flailed hysterically to get to her lover.

As if in slow motion, Paul's eyes locked in shock with hers as she watched him fall to the ground.

And it was then that Bella saw it: the telltale angry double crescent perforated into his arm by those deadly razor teeth. _Bitten_.

"Shit! " Paul gasped, eyes still boring into hers. "I'm sorry, babe. _Oh, fuck._" Both hands dug into the ground to the side of his jerking, rigid body.

"No," Bella's shriek was no more than a hoarse whisper as she scrabbled against the iron grasp around her waist. "Jasper! Jasper, suck it out!" She cried urgently, her brain instantly snapping into gear, from where she wrangled her marble restraints.

"They heal too fast," Jasper hissed beside her ear, just as urgently. "Your knife! Give!"

Frantically Bella raked it from her pocket, pressing it into his hand as he released her. Bella immediately lunged forward again, trying to reach Paul who was writhing on the ground, his face contorted in pain.

"P-Paul," she gasped as she was again restrained by anonymous cold hands.

Teeth gritted, his delirious eyes popped open to stare at her, the pupils mere pinpoints. "Shit, I'm so sorry. _Jesus, I'm sorry_!"

"No…Paul," Bella sobbed in a whisper.

Tears were drawing tracks of sorrow down his temples as his eyes pleaded with hers. "Bella! I never said it... _I...I l-love you_. I love you, babe. I'm s-sorry," he choked on the words as his eyes clenched again in agony. "_I'm so sorry_," he ground out through gritted teeth.

Throwing his head back, his body arched violently as an anguished scream of pure, heart-wrenching desperation ripped from his throat. Embry, Jared and Jasper crouched hastily beside him.

"No, Paul! You _promised_!" She shook her head wildly, her shriek mauling her throat, her heart clawing its way out of her breast.

But Bella couldn't even hear her own voice.

She could only hear her lover's bellowing roar of torment. Over and over his yells gutted the night as her own unheeded body incinerated and wickedly spasmed in sympathy.

Wordless, agonized wails of despair and desolation keened from the deepest reaches of her soul while she fought to get to him.

_To Paul. _

_Her lover. Her mate. Her imprint._

The horrifying vision of Paul convulsing uncontrollably on the ground, the Pack and Jasper fighting to hold his thrashing form, carved her heart and soul out of her chest as if with a dull rusted blade.

Until she was mercifully swallowed by darkness …

..and only then did she stop.

Did she stop struggling.

Did she stop breathing.

Because she _knew_...

...she _knew_ he had too.


	25. Chapter 25 Fault

**25 - Fault**

Bella was pulled from horrific dreams of charring flesh and licking flames by a soothing rhythm reminiscent of a heartbeat. She froze and listened to the sounds around her weaving her back into the conscious world.

The rhythm that had pried her from the incineratingly vivid nightmare was still thumping softly, playing percussion to a hollow swishing and spattering sound. She was lying curled on her side, her cheek pillowed against something cold and hard, bouncing against her face with movement around her.

Slowly Bella opened her eyes.

Her gaze washed over her entire frame of vision, taking in as much of her surroundings as she could without moving her head. She desperately tried to orient herself as her own pulse sprinted ahead, pulling forth a chilling foreboding with it.

It was night and she was in the back of a car driving through the rain. The windshield wipers moved back and forth like an automated puppet show and rain drops sprinted across the window in streaks that caught the streetlights. A hushed swish heralded a car passing. She frantically tried to blink back the choking sense of dread and disorientation to trace back her last memory.

_Oh, God. No._

_Paul._

As if she had never stopped crying, her eyes immediately brimmed with tears and her breath drew in a long shaky sob of aching and disconsolate sorrow._ She had not wanted to awaken again._

Cool, smooth fingers brushed her hair back from her face and the touch repulsed her. "Hush darling. All is well," a familiar voice crooned over her ear.

Bella shot up, scrabbling back and hitting the side of the car door with the jerking force of her movement. "What? Where is he?" her voice was hoarse and hushed. "Where's Paul?"

"He's gone, Bella. I'm so sorry," Alice's voice somber and apologetic as she peered back over the front seat with sympathetic eyes. "He got bitten, remember? There was nothing we could do."

"He's dead?" Bella gasped. "Paul's d-dea-" she gagged on her disbelief as her body convulsed with instant soul-wracking sobs.

Edward's voice wrapped around her with a lulling angora. "He is, love. I'm truly sorry Bella. But it is for the best -"

"What? How can you say that!" she choked in a whisper, her eyes wildly darting over Edward's concern. "Why am _**I**_ not dead? Why am I _here_!"

Her grief crashed over her in a crushing deluge. Edward reached out a marble hand and Bella whipped around to claw at the door to the car. "WHY!"

Edward yanked her back as the door popped open and rain blew in, spattering up from the rushing asphalt. "Stop the car, Jasper!" he bellowed and then mercurially switched to a hushed murmur by her ear. "Darling! You could injure yourself. I understand–"

"It's _your fault_! You _wanted_ him dead! That's why you didn't help him!" she shrilled with a throat already raw as she fought to twist out of his grasp and throw herself toward the car door that was bouncing open on its hinges.

"Jasper, a little help here, please?" Edward aimed his frantic request to the driver as he pulled Bella into the car with one lightning hand and shut and locked the door with the other.

"I'm trying. And it ain't working in the least. _Jesus_, she's -… her -… she's inconsolable," Jasper stuttered in a haunted whisper. He glanced up in the rear view mirror with a squinted brow as he jerkily pulled the car to the side of the road.

"Oh my God! No! Please, _I want to die_!" Bella pleaded in a shriek as she threw her head back with a crack onto Edward's shoulder. Moaning from the bruising impact, her berserk gaze raked the three sets of shocked yellow eyes in her utter desolation.

Edward's constraining grasp was a painful reminder of the large gash on her arm and her fevered mind remembered her wound. Her eyes snapped with feral delight to the gauze that was oozing crimson, her thoughts wild and raw.

Wiggling out of his grasp and wincing as the gash was reopened, she wildly ripped off the dressing and scrabbled toward the front seat. "Jasper! Jasper! DO IT! _PLEASE_!" Bella begged as she shoved her forearm recklessly toward him.

Edward pulled her back into the seat and wrapped his arms tightly around her like a straight-jacket as he hissed at the front seat reflexively.

"Maybe you should try the drugs, Edward," Alice's voice mused over Bella's frenzied wails.

Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose as he cut the engine. "I can't hardly bear it. Do whatever you need to do, but I...I can't stomach this - " he choked on his words. Roughly throwing the door to the driver's side open, he disappeared like a ghost into the rain-slicked night.

With a furrowed brow, Alice looked after where he disappeared into the forest. With a long sigh, she turned back to Edward who was fighting to restrain the wildly bucking body of the distraught girl without injuring her. "The sedatives?" he reminded her through gritted teeth.

Alice nodded and rummaged around the foot well of the passenger seat.

"No! _I just can't take it!_ _Please, Edward_…I can't!" Bella's screech was grating and deranged. "Please! _Please kill me…_"

Edward roughly forced her around to face him as she rabidly kicked. With his cold, granite fingers he held her cheeks firmly, effectively silencing her shrieks by clinching her jaw. "Bella, my love. Stop, now," he crooned looking deeply in her eyes.

Bella frantically shook her head against his vise-like grip and alluring glamour.

"Hush, love… all will be well, you'll see. Stop, now." His voice was mesmerizing, the pupils in his golden eyes so huge that they swallowed her whole. Bella's strength dissolved into the congealing ache of a thick, viscous sorrow.

"_P-please….no_," she whimpered piteously, feeling like each second stole another piece of any sanity out from under her, like the tide steals the sand.

"Shh, you'll see," he smoothed her wild hair back from her teary cheek with one hand and a cock to his head.

Bella struggled to remember something. Something that had torn out her very heart and soul.

"We have so much to look forward to together, love." Edward smiled the crooked smile of his that had always so enchanted her. "There now, all better darling."

Without taking his eyes from hers, he grabbed what Alice handed him over Bella's shoulder.

Bella trembled in his iron grasp, trying in vain to rip her eyes from the hypnotic honey stare that had numbed the burned out shell that was her body.

She sucked in a shaking sob of utter hopelessness.

_Something was wrong. Very very wrong._

"This will help you rest – you've been through too much for one so young, darling. You just need to rest," he whispered under his breath as he shoved several round, slick pills past her lips.

"Take these," his finger lingered over her tongue with cold and provocative caress that made her gag.

Bella squeezed her eyes shut in a final act of defiance as an open bottle of water was put to her lips.

"Everything's fine, my love," he continued his bewitching murmur as he poured the liquid and pills down her throat. "Everything's fine."

_But Bella __knew__…_

_Nothing__ was fine. Nothing could __ever__ be fine again._

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Sam raked his hands through either side of his short hair and hung his head in his hands. How could he have fucked this up so royally?

_He had tried. Lord knows he tried._

But it just hadn't been good enough.

"I think you need to tell him, Sam," Emily's voice infused warmth into his battered soul like sunshine in winter. "_Now_."

He felt her cool hands wrap around his wrists and gently tug. With a sigh, he let his hands drop to this thighs and looked up to where she crouched in front of him in their living room. Her black liquid eyes shined with concern and – as always – with unmitigated, unconditional acceptance.

She was _the one reason_ on the gods' green earth that made it possible for him to keep faith in the mercy of _whatever_ had laid such a life before him. He took in a long slow breath and tried to expel his humiliation and shame with its exhale.

"It's not the time, Em. He just woke up yesterday," Sam murmured as his fingers naturally reached out to touch her beautiful face.

The face he had ruined.

Sam had caused so many people pain because of his many stunning failures._ Just like his father._

Emily's hands grabbed his cheeks. "_Samuel. Look at me_," she hissed with uncharacteristic ferocity.

Sam met her gaze in surprise.

"Do you trust me? _Do you_?" she rasped.

He nodded slowly in her hands. "You know I do, Em."

"Then do this for _me_, if you can't do it for yourself," she whispered, aching sorrow pulling the words taut. "_Do it for me_, honey." Emily smiled sadly as her palms followed his jaw down to rest on his shoulders. "None of us thought it would be like this – we thought they were just stories. I can't watch this strong back bent under the weight of so much you never should have had to bear in the first place: Leah…me.. pulling the pack together. Now Jacob and Paul… and Bella. It's too much. You have to share it, baby. I _need_ you to…" her voice was hushed and pleading.

Sam swallowed thickly as he leaned in to rest his forehead against his mate's.

After a moment, he breathed in a barely audible whisper, "It's all my fault."

She shook her head fiercely against his. "No _it's not_. It's just the way life is.._apparently_." Emily's breath was warm and sweet over Sam's face.

"You already had to grow up too fast when _he_ left – play 'man of the house' for your mom before your voice had even changed. And you did it_ so good_, Sam. You're _not like him_."

Sam sniffed a laugh – a bitter sound. "What, you're psychic now too?"

"I _wish_," Emily rolled her eyes as she pulled back with an attempt at a humorous half-smile. "I just know you've been trying to make up for someone else's mistakes for far too long. I can't take seeing the man I love – and a _damn good man_, Sam – being eaten away inside while I watch anymore." Emily licked her lips as her eyes darted pleadingly between his. "_Please_. If not for you..._for me_?"

Sam closed his eyes for a long moment. He knew she was right on some level, even if he couldn't admit it. _He __was__ so tired_ – a bone-deep weariness from too many years of being burned alive by tormenting guilt and uncertainty ...as well as this fucking preternatural curse.

Sam drew in a deep capitulating breath and let it out slowly with a minute nod.

Emily's smile was bittersweet as she leaned in to press her lips to his: she knew this wasn't a victory.

It was – for him – a defeat.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

A knock at the door jerked Jacob from his light and restless slumber. He groaned and blinked at the ceiling. He had hated being awake these last 24 hours. Of course when his mind was actually clear from the mind-numbing pain, he realized he was grateful to have woken up again at all.

The battle had taken place almost two nights ago and it hadn't gotten any better; it wasn't just the physical pain that was unbearable…it was the emotional agony.

He turned his head, half expecting to see Leah coming back in to lean against the wall - as close to the door as she could be – as she had been since he had awoken yesterday, watching him with that unfathomable expression.

But it wasn't Leah.

"Sam," his fallow voice croaked.

"Jacob," he replied, peering in through the cracked door. "Can I come in?"

Jacob grunted his assent and rubbed his face with the hand not bound and splinted along with his entire left side.

With his purposeful power, Sam stalked the few steps to Jacob's dresser that was strewn with Sue's medical supplies. He picked up a bottle of water and held it out with a raise to his brow.

"Thanks," Jacob mumbled as he struggled to sit up more against the pillows. At least he had the strength move now...and the ability. Sue now thought he would make a full recovery. Eventually.

Sam popped the top off and handed it to him and Jacob promptly emptied the entire bottle of tepid water down his throat gratefully.

"More?" Sam asked quietly.

"Nah, not now. Thanks." Jacob handed him the bottle. "Any news?"

Sam shook his head glumly. "No, we've run the whole county and there's no trace of their scent. Or hers," Sam let out a long sigh. "They've disappeared."

Jacob expelled a sharp breath of frustration through his teeth. "Fuck," he hissed.

Sam's gaze fell to his feet as his fingers dolefully played with the bottle cap.

Jacob sighed. The entire Pack was a mess right now, he could feel it in his knitting bones. "Any change with...?" he asked cryptically.

"Nope," Sam sighed heavily. "At least he's still breathing."

"This is such fucking bullshit," Jacob ground out suddenly.

Sam looked up in surprise.

"You had everything buttoned down as good as you could with these numbers. Leah and Seth did awesome – especially for less than a week with four paws and all the shit they've been through. Paul's … fuck, Paul's just _Paul_ – no one coulda seen that one coming," Jacob mused, shaking his head incredulously. "But still_ we all feel like shit_. It's fucking bullshit."

Sam turned and set the empty bottle down on dresser, and collapsed on the folding chair near the bed. He wiped his palms on his jean shorts uncomfortably. "Emily wants me to step down," he blurted under his breath.

Jacob blinked rapidly as his brow furrowed in confusion.

"'Ask you to take over," he clarified solemnly. Sam sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, letting Jacob process.

Jacob pushed himself up on the pillows more, grimacing with the pain. "What do _you_ want?" he asked.

Sam pursed his lips and hung his head. "Shit, I think she's right Jake. I-.. I've fucked up so much…"

Jacob frowned. "No you _haven't_. No one else could have done the shit you've done ..._and_ with no one to help out. _None_ of this is your fault."

"Yeah it is." Sam looked up with tired eyes. "I'm management."

"Fuck that! What about the freaking Council! They're_ out of touch_, even my dad says so. Look what they did with Bella!" Jacob's voice shredded with hoarseness as he reared off the bed indignantly.

"They don't get it, do they? But I _lost_ one of the Pack… maybe two. On _my_ watch. I just-… shit." He collapsed his elbows onto his knees as he expelled a breath through his teeth. "If it had been Emily…"

Jacob collapsed his head back in the pillow as his gaze raked the ceiling.

Sam continued, his voice soft and unadorned. "The bloodline thing… I mean you have such an easy time with the new wolves, helping them control. I can't help but wonder if you'd have done a better job with Paul and …"

Jacob turned his head quickly and regarded the dejected wolf. Sam had had a fucking time of it, all right. Just the stuff with Emily was heavy enough shit. Add Leah, new wolves, an obsolete group of old men who'd never Phased and who were even more behind the changing times…

He scraped his upper lip with his teeth thoughtfully as he returned his gaze to the water spot on the ceiling.

It wasn't a secret that Sam had been taking it all pretty hard for a while. _Especially_ since Paul imprinted. But he'd never been heard complaining. He'd been _responsible_ – holding it all together when a lesser man would have, himself, fallen apart. He'd done his best, and a damn good job of it. Even _Paul_ had respected him.

_Jacob needed to grow the fuck up._

Billy had been telling him this for a while now – in slightly kinder words. _"You're headstrong and a __pro__-crastinator. Not no amateur_," his dad liked to chide.

But this fight – seeing the very real threats they were up against –had put it all in a little more perspective.

And they had _still_ lost Bella.

He had promised his best friend that he would protect her, and then had to come to the chilling realization that it was a promise he just couldn't make. He didn't lie to himself either and deny the fact that he had a hand in making things go the way they had with Paul. Her imprint.

He'd been a shitty friend. An even worse brother. He 'gotten it all' just a little too late.

Jacob turned back to Sam who was slowly wringing his hands between his knees, his broad shoulders bowed under all that was weighing him down.

"I'm not doing it alone," Jacob interjected suddenly.

Sam looked up sharply with a quizzical expression.

"I think the Council and all their old stories were great… _way back when_. But we gotta do stuff different now," Jacob smirked. "Especially if I'm gonna do the chief thing."

He had been thinking about this a lot lately – the late nights with the old man around their old crappy kitchen table had been good for _something_. He didn't give his dad enough credit, Jacob realized. He knew a lot more about what was going on then he ever let on.

"You know I can't even plan the next _hour_, much less do all the strategy stuff that you and Paul do. It's just not my thing. _And_ I think we need to stir up the old men over at the Rez hall. That won't be me either – if I open my mouth down there, they'll take a shotgun to my furry ass _so fast._" Jacob's lips stretched into his roguish smile as Sam chuckled once at the image in spite of himself.

"If I'm gonna do it, you gotta be my wingman, Sam. My Second. My _real_ Second."

Sam raised his brow at Jacob's inference. "Jared's done a good job," was all he said aloud.

Jacob nodded in agreement. "But he's more of a follower. We need another _leader_. I'm good with the guys – and Leah," he added quickly. "But I don't have all it takes. You _know_ that."

Sam's silent lowered gaze was a subtle assent.

"Of course it will be an awesome perk not to have to listen to your big fat fucking mouth if I don't want to," Jacob mused – only half-way teasing.

Sam snorted irreverently, but Jacob didn't miss the fact that he sat up a little straighter in his chair.

They both fell into long pensive minutes of silence, each lost in his own thoughts.

Jacob cleared his throat and Sam met his gaze once again. "So when 'you wanna do this?"

A sound at the door made both of them whip around to see Billy pushing it open with the front of his chair.

Sam stood and moved out of the way, catching Jacob's eye with a knowing look. They both thought the old man was just a little too canny sometimes. Now was perfect case in point.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

It was a good hour of hushed conversation later that all three decided that Emily had been indeed right.

Now _was_ the time.

Jacob's ascendency – greased by the blood of his lineage – would bring a measure of essential solace and cement to the young Pack which was understandably reeling from their first very real and violent battle.

_And casualties. _

As an added bonus – since the Alpha drew from the energy of the Pack– it would also considerably improve and hasten Jacob's recovery.

Traditionally authority was passed on in a physical battle for domination where the current Alpha was bitten in a display of power and insubordination. That obviously couldn't happen in the current configuration. But Billy reckoned it was just a matter of taking a good chunk out of the leader–something that would never occur in a Pack's normal spar.

Though the human Jacob was dismayed by the prospect, he found his genes awoke with an unequivocal tingling of anticipation.

So when Sam soothingly kissed Emily's lips where she stood nervously beside Billy, Jacob's heart rate skyrocketed, but his wolf growled in ready ardor.

Sam approached the bedside with glittering eyes and quivering muscles, obviously struggling with his own instinct. Jacob knew that – ceremonial or not – he'd have to be quick before their wolves clawed their way to the surface of the two battered men. He called on what spirits and magic ran deep within his blood.

"So how do you want to-" Sam began.

And like lightning his arm was in Jacob's one-handed grip at his lips. The feeling of canines cleaving skin and the sweet sumptuous taste of Sam's blood squirting down his throat made him groan in shameless pleasure.

Sam dropped heavily to his knees with a low moan that was echoed by a chorus of deafening howls vaulting into the dusk.

Swallowing the chunk of flesh with relish, Jacob's body arched with the infusion of a warm, rich, potent power. Releasing Sam's arm, he gasped as some deep part of his soul was sated.

Opening his eyes, Jacob could feel them glowing hot and yellow as he toward where Sam's head was bowed beside him, his shoulders heaving. He automatically drew Sam's wrist back to instinctively lap at the wound in lupine appeasement.

To Jacob's relief, when Sam looked up there was an unmistakable acceptance - and peace - swimming in their dark depths.

It was his lineage of power - something ancient and recondite in his very makeup - that chose Jacob's next words. And when he spoke, his voice rumbled like thunder under the continued strident howling.

"Samuel… _Second_."


	26. Chapter 26 Lost

**26 - Lost**

#

_It was Bella. He could see her._

_Curled in a tight ball under starched white sheets and weeping softly in abject despair. She had lost far too many tears._

_Sobs shook caved, bony shoulders and made shadows play in the sharpened hollow of her cheek. She had lost far too much weight._

_Rapid, uneven breaths skated over quivering lips in shallow listless panting. Oh, even too much hope lost._

"_Babe," he tried to call out, sorely afraid, but even his whisper was caught on his quiescent lips._

_Yet even still, her chestnut eyes - perversely dilated an unseeing black - popped open with frantic searching to his silent anguish._

"_Oh, Paul," his name mutely trembled over chapped lips. "I can't lose you…"_

_#_

* * *

><p>'<p>

"BELLA!" Paul bellowed as he bolted up violently and then immediately reeled falling into something hard with a thump. Eyes wild, he searched vainly for her in the dim, empty and unfamiliar room.

Where was he? He was sitting on a single bed, slumped weakly against a clapboard wall.

_Had it been a dream?_

_No, not a dream…_

_Bella_. Something was wrong. _Very, very wrong._

His heart hammering in his chest, Paul pitched forward, throwing himself into a careening stagger. He slammed into the wall across the small room catching himself reflexively with a prone hand. He felt oddly unbalanced and looked down to find the other arm wrapped thickly in gauze and bound to his waist in a tight brace.

"Get Jacob _now_," lupine hearing picked out Sam's low hiss in another room of the house. "Em, go with Billy into the back room…"

"_Sam_!" Paul barked as he stumbled on unsteady feet toward the closed door. "_Where is she_!"

The door swung into the room to reveal Sam, his face a mixture of at once relief, concern and apprehension.

Paul pushed off the doorframe and staggered toward him, as he backed away into the hall.

_Ah, he knew this house. Jacob's house, _he thought idly.

"Where's Bella!" he growled.

Sam caught him as he fell forward. "Paul, you need to lie back down," his voice was hushed and appeasing.

"Fuck you!" Paul lunged, throwing Sam across the hallway and pinning him against the wall with his forearm at his throat. "_Where the fuck is she_?" he rasped inches from his face.

Sam licked his lips slowly as if he were carefully considering the answer.

"**Tell me**!" he snarled

"They took her," Sam replied evenly.

Blinking rapidly, Paul pushed off of him in shock, teetering back on his feet for a moment. He didn't have to ask who '_they'_ was. He knew.

He had _known_!

"You _let them take her_," he wheezed incredulously and bowed his head against the muscles starting to quiver as his breath heaved in his chest.

"Paul, you've been in some kind of coma for over _three days_. You _can't_ Phase now," Sam commanded sternly…

_And his resonant bass flowed right over Paul like a goddamn balmy summer breeze. _

For a moment such an anomaly distracted Paul from his burgeoning rage, and he lifted his nose to sniff the air curiously, wolf-like.

Sam pushed off the wall, crouching and retreating slowly as if sensing eminent disaster.

"_Not Alpha_," he mused with a dark chuckle. "Did you finally give it up to the fucking blue-blooded cub?"

It was a rhetorical question that he didn't give Sam the chance to answer before surprising him with a wicked punch to his gut.

The force of the movement threw Sam backward and he stumbled into the kitchen crashing into and flattening the wooden table in its center.

Wincing at the shooting pain in his arm, Paul's lips lifted in a sneer as he stalked after his prey, each step more steady than the last.

"Good, 'cause I'm gonna fucking _kill you_," he hissed savagely, feeling his eyes growing hot. Were he not so weak, he would have been on four paws already; he could feel the Phase struggling achingly with his depleted body.

_Ripping Sam to shreds as a man just might be more satisfying anyway, _he thought.

Gasping, Sam scrabbled out of the debris as Paul prowled toward him, his body violently shaking.

"**No**!" a female cry stopped him cold, and he turned feral eyes to where Emily ran down the opposite hallway toward her mate.

"_Emily! No_!" Sam yelled even while she stubbornly threw herself at him. Emily's arms tenaciously clung against Sam's attempts to push her back without hurting her.

"It's not his fault, Paul!" she wailed without looking up from where she had buried her face in his chest. "They took her when you got hurt! It was so crazy! They were so quick! Sam was already back at the truck!" Her words were frantic and strung together, laced on a shriek.

Paul's feverish rampage stuttered, and he staggered back, knocking over pans to the floor with a crash as he fell against the kitchen cupboards.

A_nd there it was._

The _truth_ that had fueled his rage in a desperate attempt at denial… not _Sam's_ fault.

_His_.

"FUCKING SHIT!" he bellowed, his body instantly engulfed in an inferno of rage. "That _goddamn motherfucker_!" His good hand gripped the counter fiercely as he tried to remain standing in the face of his body's the violent tremors. "_I'm going to __pulverize__ that asshole! Shred every last motherfucking piece of that cocksucking parasite __and sprinkle it over hell myself_!"

With a groan Paul suddenly doubled over with wracking convulsions, as the wolf fought to claw its way out of his debilitated body.

"Sam… _get out_! Now!" Paul gasped frantically, choking gutturally on his words. "You, Emily... **OUT**!"

Paul fell to his knees as he threw his head back with a roar of pain. Much like the first time he had Phased, it was excruciating: his bones agonizingly disfigured and reformed back and forth - over and over again under his writhing skin and gnarling, knotted muscles.

_Shit, he didn't have enough in him; he was going to get caught mid-phase._

Paul collapsed forward to the floor, catching himself on his one good hand as another rumbling tortured growl ripped from his chest.

"STOP!" a thundering command rolled through him like a sonic boom. "PAUL, _you cannot Phase_!"

And as if that voice was the fist that slammed shut the very lid of Pandora's box itself, the flood of that drowning compulsion receded and Paul was left gasping high and dry on quivering hand and knees on the floor.

The respite gifted by his Pack's Alpha was perhaps even worse though.

Because he could still _feel_ her. _He could feel his mate's despair._

"_Bella_," he gasped in anguish as he slid shakily to the floor, wincing as he fell onto his ruined left side. He didn't even care what had happened to his arm, or about the searing pain that burned like acid from it being pinned under him.

His cheek - heavy with grief -collapsed onto the Black's cool wooden floor.

After a moment, two sets of large hands carefully rolled him over onto his back while his breath hitched erratically. He ground his teeth and his back arched with the pain of Sam and Jacob lifting him off his arm.

"I can _hear_ her. I can hear her… _crying_…" Paul choked in a despondent whisper. _"_In my head_... I can hear her..."_ He slowly shook his head back and forth as a hot track of sorrow traced down each temple.

Paul squeezed his eyes shut to block out the chafing concern of his two Pack mates and achingly pulled himself into a sitting position, turning so he could lean against the wall. He bit his lip and tried to pull himself together.

"Oh, God, what happened, Sam? _What the hell happened_?" he gulped quietly, all of his rage smothered by the weight of his insufferable yearning and aching concern for his imprint.

He opened his eyes to find Sam kneeling at his side. "Em, can you go check on Billy? Give us a moment..." he looked up to his mate, who was anxiously wringing her hands.

She nodded. "I'm sorry Paul," she whispered as she quietly withdrew.

Sam turned back to him and licked his lips. "When you were… hurt…Leah, Quil and I were already half-way to the Rez with Jake." Frustration made his words quiver like an arrow hitting its mark. "I was trying to get him to Phase back, so Sue could get him splinted so he wasn't maimed for life."

Paul turned his head idly to run his assessing gaze over Jacob. With a long sigh, the boy collapsed heavily to the floor opposite him and leaned his head against wall. Other than a aching stiffness to his movements and the light scars running down the dark skin of his arm and leg, he looked like he had completely healed. He also looked like he had grown another inch or two. Paul guessed that all made sense.

_Jake was Alpha now. _

But he wouldn't be _his_ Alpha. Not anymore. Paul turned back to Sam.

"After you killed that baby leech, Embry and Jared tore her apart and threw her in the fires… They hadn't realized you were - you were bitten…until you started screaming," he said in a halting monotone. "Apparently one of the bloodsuckers - Jasper - tried to help and called them back to hold you down while he tried to…" Sam swallowed his grimace. "Amputate your poisoned arm with Bella's knife."

Paul opened his eyes and met his gaze impassively. Sam's brow raised in surprise at his stoicism. But Paul didn't even fucking care about his arm. "What happened to _Bella_," he growled.

"She apparently passed out because of- because of the bond." Sam stopped and shook his head slowly in rueful disbelief. "And those other two leeches… just… _took her_. Seth _tried_. He saw and chased them - he phased and fucked his arm up even worse - but those suckers are _fast_. Especially for a three-legged cub."

Paul sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes at its apex. "Shit. I'm such an _idiot_. That fucking bloodsucker let that little larvae go on _purpose_," he sniffed a short acerbic laugh. "Probably figured it would either kill _me_, or turn _her_… what a fucking win-win for him." He expelled a harsh breath. "It's all my fucking fault," Paul whispered hoarsely.

"Paul, none of us could-" he heard Sam begin with his damned reasonableness.

And he held up his good hand harshly. "Just… Just, don't Sam," he murmured emptily.

For many minutes, the only sounds were Paul's wheezing, uneven breaths.

"So no trail?" Paul opened his eyes and glanced between his two Pack mates.

"Nope," Jacob bit out bitterly, hitting his head back against the wall twice with frustration.

"Yeah, figures. They're too good for that," Paul muttered darkly. "They got the money, know-how 'n shit to vanish like fucking Houdini … _fuck them_!" he spat suddenly.

"We're gonna get her back, Paul," Jacob's newly deepened voice carved the room like a velvet knife. _"I swear it._"

Paul's face whipped around to Jacob with instant fury. "You're sunny sesame street bullshit _doesn't work in this world_, Jake! Don't you fucking get that yet!"

Jacob lunged forward with a low growl. Paul froze instinctively at his bared teeth and uncharacteristic and unapologetic aggression. Jake's steely eyes darted between his, his wolf obviously contemplating taking off Paul's head.

Paul sniffed a laugh as his brow lifted appreciatively. "Not bad, pup. But you're not gonna be _my_ Alpha," Paul let an infuriatingly irreverent smirk hitch his lips and ignored the answering rumble of challenge. "I'm _blowing this Popsicle stand. _"

"_What_?" Sam blurted incredulously.

Paul turned to him with icy determination. "I'm either gonna spend the rest of my life _with_ _Bella_… or I'll spend it hunting down that cold stone fucking corpse until I find him…. and I'm betting on that last one right now. So I'm quitting the Pack. "

"No you're not," Jacob's voice quivered with a bold power.

Paul's head whipped back around with a furrow to his brow, still feeling the Alpha hooks embedded deep in his soul.

"We're going to go with you – some of the Pack at least," Jacob spoke easily from the place of an earlier and resolute decision. "Fuck the Council. We need to run this Pack like _we wanna_… and _none_ _of the Pack_ want to leave Bella – or anyone else – behind."

Paul's eyes darted between Jacob's in grudging appreciation while a slow smile of budding respect stretched his lips.

Sam spoke up. "Jake and I've been talking and I think the first place we have to start is with Charlie Swan. He might know something."

Unbidden indignation rose up in Paul. "He needs to know _everything_," he growled.

"We agree," Jacob nodded. "And as soon as you're well enough, we're gonna tell 'em."

"Shit, let's do it right now…" Paul snorted, as he tried to push himself up off the floor. His bravado was considerably stronger than his body though, and he shuddered feebly.

"We all need to eat lunch first," Sam said evenly, wisely avoiding making Paul feel weak... er.

"And we have to see how this arm is doing…" Jacob rejoined.

Expelling a resentful breath through his nose, he stiffly leaned his head back in acquiescence.

Paul looked down reluctantly at his arm wrapped anonymously in thick bandages. "So... how much is gone?" he whispered hollowly.

"Bella's crappy knife couldn't cut your bone - lucky you- so the leech had to gouge out a good chunk of your forearm where that little bitch bit and hope it was enough," Jacob grimaced as he sat up more, preparing to hold Paul while Sam squatted. "Before he bolted… that is."

"But we're hoping the muscle will reform," Sam murmured as he carefully moved his fingers to begin to detach the brace.

Paul winced at the nervy pain of each minute movement of his arm. "Not that I'm complaining, but why'm I still alive?" Paul asked through gritted teeth.

"We don't know exactly," Sam began to gingerly peel the sling from his arm. "The bloodsucker got out most of the poison before it spread, since we heal fast around it… then your body shut down your metabolism until I guess it could get rid of the rest…But …" Sam let his words die on his lips.

Paul didn't miss it. "But…?" he breathed as his body started to tremor.

_He knew the answer._

Jacob's hand fell heavily on his shoulder in warning.

Sam stopped what he was doing and looked straight into Paul's eyes, with an unadorned and steady gaze. "But... we think it may have something to do with your bond..." he said softly.

Paul closed his eyes and let his head fall back as he completed the sentence in a whisper, "…and we don't know what it did to _her_."

_Bella_.


	27. Chapter 27 An Immortal's Wet Dream

**27 - An Immortal's Wet Dream**

Jasper sat on the edge of the hotel bed with his elbows propped on his knees and head hanging. In his hand was a large manila envelope containing the last excuse he could think of to delay the inevitable: the forged IDs and passports from his contacts here in Seattle. He had told the boys to '_go ahead and_ _take their sweet time_' to create them. Of course if Edward had been so inclined, he would have easily seen through Jasper's excuses for the delay … if he weren't otherwise obsessed.

Jasper and Alice had finally convinced him to go hunt this evening –it was getting dangerous for Bella - so the first time in the last three days, Edward had left Bella's side.

Jasper had been playing the cards, hoping to just slow things on down until Carlisle got back from where he and Esme were helping victims of an earthquake in remote South America. He was expected to call within the week to check in. Jasper was worried it would be a week too late at this rate.

These last three days had worn on Bella like a lifetime. They couldn't get her to eat – except a few bites hand-fed by thrall – but even then, she was unnaturally wasting away like _something else all together_ was draining her dry. Edward kept her sedated because without it she was miserable – so distraught she would just lie on the bed and sob until she was almost too weak to draw in her next breath.

It was heartbreaking.

Jasper was disgusted.

He had no problems eating humans – the right human at the right time - just like any carnivore feeds off its inferior species. It was the natural order of things, after all. But Jasper had no patience for cruelty or suffering. Retribution should be dealt swiftly, death mercifully. There was no honor in the game of Russian roulette Edward played with the girl's heart.

Truthfully he had begun to worry for Edward's sanity. Vampires were known to go age-crazy. The centuries of half-lives half-lived had a way of wearing on even the best of them. Edward was young – as far their kind went – but with all of his years, he'd never learned to let go... and that just tends to age you faster.

Holding on to things you can't control left you being dragged on your ass in the dirt, as far as Jasper could reckon, but Edward was stubborn. He still clung to the belief that if you held tight enough you might actually be able to drive.

_The fool_.

"So what do you think about this one?" Alice's voice piped brightly into Jasper's sober musings, completely oblivious – or impervious – to the mood around her.

Jasper expelled a soft breath and raised his head. Alice was twirling back and forth in a long flowing skirt, glancing at the large mirror on the wall of this upscale modern "boutique" hotel. She turned back to him with a blinding smile.

"Pretty," Jasper nodded, humoring her. He didn't really understand what the fuss was about around clothes. 'Didn't change who you were underneath any and, given the choice, he preferred his wife without them.

Alice grinned broadly and did a little hop of excitement and then tore back into the other room of the adjoined double suite to try on another of her most recent shopping plunder.

Jasper set the envelope on the bed beside him and leaned back on both hands. He cocked his head toward the bathroom. The ventilation fan hummed away merrily, oblivious to the soft sobs hitching raggedly along under it.

_Bella_.

As soon as Edward had left she had begged (again) to use the restroom and then promptly locked herself in. Jasper seemed to be the only one who noticed that, when coherent, she spent most of the time in the bathroom, presumably appealing to the vampiric ignorance of bodily functions. But Jasper certainly wasn't going to say anything.

"Aaaaaannnnnndddd…" Alice dragged the word along with her like a game show host. "This one!" She hopped dramatically into the room.

_Um…bright._

Alice wiggled her eyebrows questioningly and did a quick spin in the garish little dress that was made up of irregular patches of every color of the rainbow at its most florescent.

Jasper pursed his lips. "It's… colorful," he offered dryly.

Alice's face instantly crumbled into a combination frown-scowl. She looked sharply at the mirror across the room and twisted her lips into a theatrically assessing expression. "Hmm…"

"Darlin', the girl needs to go home," Jasper blurted suddenly. "This ain't gonna work."

Alice didn't take her eyes from the mirror. "It isn't much fun, is it?"

"Well, there, no," Jasper drawled. "But I don't know if she's gonna make it much longer – she's getting sicker. If we take her on back right now, it'll solve a mess o' problems."

Alice's brow furrowed, even as she still critically eyed her reflection. "But they'll kill her," she murmured idly to the mirror.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "So you're believing your own story now?"

She met his eyes in the mirror and her face instantly transformed into a sly toothy grin. "It_ could've_ happened like that," she surmised with a little stubborn lift to her chin. "I don' t know, because I can't _see_ them." She then promptly went back to appraising her purchase.

Alice and Edward had told Bella that both Paul and Jacob had died in the fight and that the Pack had gone crazy with grief and blamed her, so it wasn't safe to return. Truthfully none of them knew what had happened to either of them.

Jasper's pure respect for Paul's impressive prowess and a sense of shamed responsibility for their treachery - which broke every battle code he had ever had known - had compelled him to _try_ to help. Like with a rattler bite, Jasper had tried to cut out the poison, having to whittle away most of the boy's forearm in the attempt – a gruesome task even for him - but he had no idea whether it had worked. He kinda doubted it, unfortunately.

"Yeah, well since we _don't_ know, maybe we should call-"

"You promised!" Alice interrupted turning fiercely on him in that volatile way of their kind.

Jasper sighed heavily. "That I did."

Alice gave him a brilliant smile and then turned back to the mirror. "She's important to Edward, Jasper, and he doesn't like to do anything, really. So _very_ boring. I couldn't it stand it if it was me. But he likes Bella so I think he should keep her."

Jasper shoved his bottom lip through his teeth once, perturbed. "Like a pet?"

Alice tipped her head and met his gaze. "Kinda. But Bella likes it too… or she used to. She's not very much fun anymore. I hope she gets better soon so we can go shopping again… it used to be so much fun to dress her! Bella loves to shop…"

Jasper chuckled. "She _never_ liked shopping."

"Yes she did! She loves clothes," she put her hands on her hips. "She said I had good taste… and I do."

"That girl was just obligin' your penchant for fashion darlin'," Jasper's lips hitched up on the side. He knew all about obliging.

Alice's hands fell from her hips and her eyes blinked happily as if it were a novel revelation. "That was nice of her! I hope she does it again, it was fun. And it makes her look good." Her face grew serious as she turned back to glance one more time at the mirror. "I don't like this dress," she pronounced finally and then jutted her lip out in a pout.

"Take it back then," Jasper muttered.

Alice flounced toward the other room. "That's too much trouble," she called over her shoulder. "But I _do_ need something to replace it!"

Jasper shook his head in dismay and turned again toward the bathroom. The fan was still wheezing away, but Bella was silent. With a little frown, he stood and crossed the generous suite. As he neared, he could still hear shallow panting and her heart beating – weakly and far too softly for his liking. The girl wasn't going to survive and it was a goddamn shame. He figured Edward would use that excuse to Turn her, and then she'd be stuck for her eternity in this state of mourning, since becoming a vampire froze a body in time. Look what it had done to Rosalie.

"Bella?" he called quietly.

No answer.

A chill went up Jasper's spine. He rapped on the door. "Bella? Are you there?"

No answer.

"Bella!" he called more urgently. He had actually been worried about the girl hurting herself, she was so depressed. And the drugs just compounded the problem. But he didn't _smell_ blood…

Without a consideration, he crushed the locked doorknob in his hand and pulled the thing off, making quick work of unlocking the flimsy mechanism inside the door. Urgently he pushed open the door to the large pristine bathroom and stepped inside, fearful of what he'd find.

He expelled a sigh of relief.

There she was: curled up on the plush rug in front of the tub, asleep. A sad smile tugged at Jasper's lips as he crossed the room and squatted down beside her. Her body was drawn into a tight ball, an agitated pucker between her brows even in slumber. A piece of paper clutched in the hand pillowing her cheek caught his attention.

Curious, Jasper gently pried it from her fingers. Bella made a little restless moan in the back of her throat but didn't awaken. He carefully unfolded the well-worn sheet to a simple, but stunning portrait of her and Paul. It was rendered skillfully with an uncanny precision and eye. But perhaps even more impressive, a certain artistic sensitivity and detail made the depth of both subjects' emotions come alive. Never had Jasper been able to sense emotion from art before, but he found himself tasting the love, devotion, connection and… fear in each of those expressions as if through his gifts.

_'I LOVE YOU, BABE'_ was written below the drawing - the pencil smeared slightly by what Jasper guessed were her tears - leaving no question as to who the artist was. That ruthless warrior had _created_ _this_?

Jasper found himself collapsing on his ass in surprise. He had felt how the boy's passions mirrored the depths of Bella's, and he would've had have to been dead – well deader – to _not_ fathom their profound bond. But this artwork showcased an astute emotional sensitivity on top of all that.

_Interesting_: he and this man were even more similar than he had realized.

"Is she okay?" Alice's voice echoed like pins and needles off the tiles and Jasper quickly folded the paper and shoved it into his shirt pocket with his phone.

"Yeah, she just cried herself to sleep," Jasper glanced behind him and then returned his gaze to Bella. "I'll get her."

With that Jasper very carefully pushed his hands under the sleeping girl and pulled her into his arms. As he stood he inadvertently gasped.

"Lord, it's like carrying nothin' at all!" he exclaimed in a whisper as he re-situated Bella against his chest in amazement.

At the feel of his cool, hard touch, she whimpered softly and Jasper automatically sent out soothing, comforting vibes. Her eyelids blinked rapidly for a moment and then she settled against him and her hand came up with the innocence of a child to splay over his silent heart. Jasper was entranced.

He turned around with an expression of wonder and met Alice's gaze. "She's so tiny… I think she's even a smaller than you are, darlin'." She was certainly thinner; within just a few days slender Bella had been reduced mere skin and bones.

Alice shrugged, disinterested. "So what about this one?" she asked cocking her head and holding out her hands to indicate the classic cream slacks and flowing pink silk top.

"I like that one," Jasper nodded sincerely.

If she noticed the difference in his reaction she didn't show it but just beamed as usual and trounced back out of the room.

Jasper looked down at the human nestled in his arms. Was it his imagination or did she look like she was resting a little more easily? The pucker between her eyes had smoothed out, and her full lower lip was lax. Jasper's gaze cataloged her every feature as he walked slowly back into the hotel room and sat on the bed. He had never really looked at her carefully before – or _any_ human really, for a long, long time.

He brought a hand up to touch her cheek, a translucent blush from the blood flow coursing under the surface. Her skin was impossibly soft to his touch; like a rose petal - matte and moist and smooth.

Bella pressed her face to his chest with a little sigh, and an inadvertent smile curved Jasper's lips. He traced carefully over her dainty features, lingering on the deep purple under her eyes in regret. She was so gaunt and drawn, but still so delicate that she was almost ephemeral in her mortality, like a porcelain doll but with no more substance than an exquisite Ukrainian painted egg. _So sublime in her frailty - _he could crush her in moment's inattention. _Why was such a thing so galvanizing?_

His inert chalky skin looked even more so in contrast to her living complexion, even as wan as it was right now. He drew his fingers carefully along her prominent cheekbone, down over the valley of their sunken hollow, following the path of salty crystals that tracked her skin. Impulsively he brought his finger to his lips and his tongue came out for a guilty taste of her dried tears. He closed his eyes as he pressed his lips closed again quickly lest he be tempted to take another.

_Delectable_. Like the powdered spice that seasoned her blood, no doubt – a sweet and savory cocktail that was uniquely satisfying.

Taking a deep breath through his teeth, he brought his hand to tenderly cup her jaw. His thumb moved down to brush over her thrumming pulse, the already-flowing venom gushing down his throat at the sensation. Her ambrosial scent was enchanting, yet now she also had a certain sensual complexity that carved an intricate pattern of desire across the roof of his mouth. She was no longer a girl, but a woman now.

His thumb traced over the only marginally faded marks of passion on her neck and he let his eyes flutter closed. In a fleeting moment of indulgence he allowed a fantasy to unfold that it was his mouth that had made those marks as he pressed her under him, soft, delicate, warm. That it had been him suckling over the sumptuousness of the racing nectar in her veins – careful not to pierce her skin with his teeth - while she generously filled his empty chest with each moan of pleasure. The memory of the devotion and adoration that she had felt for her mate – that he _could still feel _coursing with each sluggish pulse of her broken heart – tasted to him like the most honeyed and restorative succor. The spectral ghost of his heartbeat … pulse… breath haunted his body as he imagined that each redemptive night restored just another small piece of his humanity…

"Paul," Bella whimpered softly into his shirt. "Please, I can't lose you…"

Jasper's eyes flew open and he pressed his lips together in chagrin. She had sensed the vicarious emotional daydreams fed by his empathic gifts. He had selfishly preyed off something that didn't belong to him and that she grieved for piteously.

Jasper was ashamed.

"I'm sorry, little darlin'," he whispered as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her warm smooth forehead.

Shaking his head at himself, he stood again with the limp girl in his arms and placed her gently on the bed. He now understood a little more why Edward was so perversely obsessed that he would stretch his sanity and morality into the guise of any excuse for keeping her. But where the sweetness of her blood, her ingenuous emotions and utter acceptance of others – along with her innate mortal frailty – brought out the very worst of Edward's possessiveness…

In Jasper, it awoke an innate protective instinct. Maybe as a vampire, he no longer had a heart or soul… but he still had his honor.

With a set to his jaw, he pulled the sheet up over the sleeping girl and turned from her resolutely. He simply couldn't stand by and watch this go on.

Crossing back to the bathroom, he pulled the picture out and left it with a little something more on the counter for her to find. Then he strode into the adjoining suite, passing wordlessly by Alice who was arranging her booty on the bed in some sort of order that only she understood. He sat down at the desk, flipping up the sleek laptop.

The modern day certainly had its pre-eminent ugliness and challenges when compared with Jasper's own human lifetime, but it also had the thing he – and perhaps every vampire on the planet (except Edward) – appreciated almost as much as blood itself: _the internet_.

Now boring interminable nights and days were sat sentry with Google: society's collective mind at one's fingertips and the only inexhaustible playground ever created. _An immortal's wet dream._

Jasper deftly navigated to the Washington state's law enforcement website and hacked into their intranet database, searching through records of arrests, crimes… and deaths.

"So I have my wardrobe and Bella's planned for the entire trip," Alice informed him soberly. "Well, until we get to Europe…depending on whether we stay in Ireland or go to Moscow."

Jasper didn't glance up from the screen and merely nodded absently as he scanned the data for the last week.

"He's not dead," Jasper announced suddenly.

"Who?" Alice asked sounding perturbed with his lack of apparel interest.

"Bella's _mate_," Jasper drawled turning in his chair, and fixing the door to the room with wry grin.

Edward opened it and strode into the room with a snarl, meeting his gaze immediately. "That _dog_ means _nothing_ to Bella."

"Well I beg to differ, now. He means a whole hell of a lot to her, that much is clear as crystal, I'd say," Jasper challenged.

Edward hissed viciously. "He's a dangerous beast and incorrigible scoundrel who corrupted an innocent. Perhaps I should return this evening and finish the job."

Jasper stood. "Edward, you're not playin' with a full deck on this one. She's weak; she's lost the will to live. _She needs to go home._ I don't think she's goin' to make it much longer…"

Edward slammed the door behind him. "It is my duty to protect her, Jasper. If she chooses not to live, I will be given no choice but…"

Jasper had crossed the room in an instant, toe to toe with his lanky 'brother.'

"You protect her like a _kill_, not a _mate_. Do you even _know_ what she is to you anymore?" he growled inches from Edward's livid face. "_Which is she?"_

"Jas… stop," Alice's small voice interceded. She put her hand on Jasper's arm. "Edward _loves_ her."

Jasper didn't tear his eyes from where they bored into Edward's only slightly lighter amber gaze – he had _barely_ fed tonight, he mused idly.

"_Then he should take her home_," Jasper bit out.

Edward hissed rabidly, his eyes going dark and dangerous.

"But it's not _good_ for her to be there…it's _dangerous_," Alice pressed, turning Jasper's face toward her with insistent hands.

"She just needs time," Edward spat through gritted teeth. "Bella deserves better than that barbarian, he's ruined her. A little time, and distance is more than enough to cure her of the brainwashing..."

Jasper laughed out loud humorlessly. "You're talkin' about brainwashing when you've had her drugged up or _twitter-pated_ every second to keep her from throwing herself out that window?"

"Exactly! It's _unnatural_!" Edward exclaimed.

Jasper rolled his eyes with a frustrated snort.

"Jas, let's stay with the plan… _you promised_, remember? We can give it some time, like Edward said and wait until Carlisle comes back," Alice soothed. "Bella will like Ireland! And I have such cute outfits picked out for her."

Jasper turned out of Alice's hands and stalked to sit on the large bed, hanging his head in his hands.

"You _delayed_ our travel documents!" Edward suddenly burst out, plucking the accusation from Jasper's passing thoughts.

"Not exactly… just told them it wasn't a rush," Jasper looked up with a flash of an exaggerated feral grin. "They're in the other room though, but I think it's a mistake."

Edward scowled fiercely, and without another word, whipped around to march into the other room, pulling the door shut behind him and resolutely locking it with a click.

"C'mon Jas," Alice sighed dramatically. "Leave him alone."

Frowning, Jasper sprang off the bed and strode to the computer, sitting down with an ill-tempered huff.

"Let's go out, Jas. You can come with me to replace that outfit and then we can walk by the water…"

Jasper curtly shook his head, still seething.

"Fine, if you're not going to be any fun, I'll go myself!" she pouted flitting to the bed and perusing her purchases one last time as if trying to decide what was missing.

Hunching over the computer, he punched angrily at the keyboard and then leaned back expelling an aggravated sigh.

"What do you see, Alice?" he asked, turning to regard his wife.

"With Bella?" Alice didn't look up from where she was picking up her purse. "Nothing. It's still all gummed up – I don't understand it. It must be those wolves."

_Or the fact that she's mated to one_, Jasper thought. "When does Carlisle come back?" he continued.

"He'll call…" she paused. "Next Wednesday at 8 o'clock in the morning Ireland time." She turned and pointedly met his gaze. "And I see you getting thrown out of that window if you try whatever it is you're thinking," she warned with a sarcastic raise to her brow.

Jasper grumbled.

"Come on, Jas. Come with me… it'll be fun," Alice whined. "He's not going to do it tonight, that much I know."

"Do what?"

"Turn her," she announced as if he were daft.

"But you see that?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "I told you it's all gummed up… but that's one possibility I see…"

Jasper stood up again in fury.

"Jas," Alice was at his side in a blink, putting her small hand on his arm. "I don't see him forcing her; I see her _asking_ him to."

'

* * *

><p><em>#<em>

_Paul._

_Lying on a single bed in a small dark room. Alone. His arm bandaged to his side, his chest rising and falling in a slow, regular rhythm. She could see the minute flutters under the lids of his closed eyes as if he fought butterfly dreams for his consciousness._

_Alive?_

_"Paul!" she tried to call out but her voice was oddly mute, even to her own ears. "I can't lose you..."_

_As if he had heard her silent entreaty, his eyes popped open – wide and wild… and very much alive – and immediately found her own. For a moment their gazes stayed locked in shocked disorientation._

_A pervasive warmth infused Bella's body, heart and soul. He's alive!_

_Paul licked his chapped lips as his gaze darted between her eyes. "Babe," he gasped finally._

_#_

* * *

><p>'<p>

"Paul!" Bella yelled, as she bolted upright.

Her eyes frantically tried to focus. When they finally fought through the drug-induced fog, her heart plummeted: she was still in the bright, affluent hotel suite in the huge California king bed.

With Edward sitting at her side, a worried pucker between his brow.

She expelled a long sigh of disappointment. Had it been just a dream? _No, something more…_

"Bella, are you alright, my love?" Edward crooned placing his hand on her leg. She flinched away reflexively; she didn't want that touch.

Clearing her throat, she asserted in her fallow voice, "he's alive."

"Paul? No, darling, I'm sorry. It was just a dream…"

"**No**. He is alive," she repeated. "I _know_ it. I can _feel_ him," she brought her hand to clutch over her heart.

Because she could. She could _feel_ him again.

Joy welled up from deep inside a soul that had _always_ _known_ to warm the broken heart that had frozen in despair. Bella felt more coherent than she had for days, even if her head still felt like it had been stuffed with cotton.

She licked her lips, "Edward, I want to _go home_."

Edward's face softened in a patronizing smile. "You can't go back to Forks, your safety is of the utmost importance, love. It was just a dr-"

"**No**! I want to go _home_," Bella exclaimed, hating that traitor tears burned her eyes.

She was just so very tired. A soul-deep weariness was piled high with a pining, yearning, _craving_ for her mate's touch so that her whole body ached – down to the marrow of her bones.

"Love, your home is with _us_ now…" he began in a croon.

Bella felt the creeping enchantment of his words and sprang up off the bed to stand, staggering as her entire world reeled.

Edward caught her as she pitched forward unsteadily. Bella tried to twist out of Edward's hands, but he held her fast in his cool marble grip.

"Shh…now, now. We'll be leaving tomorrow morning… we're going to our home in Europe. You'll see, it's lovely – an old castle standing alone in green, green fields," Edward soothed, turning her to face him.

"No, please Edward! I have to see him… I _need_ to see him. _Please_," Bella vainly struggled in his iron grasp as tears overflowed freely again down her cheeks.

"Sweetheart, there's only us now," he continued in a mesmerizing velvet voice. "We'll travel the world together, you and I. Any place you wish. I can give you anything and everything you want."

All Bella's frustration, fear and longing funneled into an emphatic shriek, "I WANT PAUL!"

Edward froze.

The weight of his deathly stillness and silence smothered her agitation and intuitively she glanced up. A harsh severity, that Bella had never seen, marred Edward's unearthly beauty: his lips were drawn in a thin line, his hooded eyes were fierce and glittering, and his face was sallow... _livid_. For the first time since she'd met him, Bella was deathly afraid. The glamour that he usually wove around himself had been dropped, along with all pretenses, revealing a dark and voracious avariciousness whose cold depths bordered on madness.

Her bottom lip quivered in fear as she struggled to swallow the huge lump in her throat. She realized just what a delicate game she'd been trying to play with a sledge hammer.

_She should have been smarter about this. _

Edward drew her to him with one hand while the other came up to grasp her jaw with an unyielding, callous strength that bordered on pain. He tipped her head up and looked deep in her eyes with a chilling intensity.

Bella's breath skated in rapid, uneven pants over lips parted from the pressure on her jaw.

His lips suddenly curved into a saccharine smile that didn't reach his boring eyes that had gone black as coal. "Love, it's just you and I now," he whispered silkily. "We are together once more and I shall never leave your side. Don't you remember?"

His tone was bewitching and it slithered up her body, wrapping her in its thrall until she could no more move than a mouse caught in a cobra's fatal hypnotic stare.

"I love you so much and I'm so glad the fates brought us together. My darling, my love, my life," his face softened as his eyes ran over her face with a dreamy calm.

Bella's breath was sprinting in light ragged pants through her nose. Like a scene out of Clockwork Orange, Bella was paralyzed, unable to look away though inside she was horrified.

"It's _meant_ to be," he whispered as he leaned down slowly, his gaze snapping to her lips and staying there.

Releasing her face, his finger traced down her jaw to touch her chin _as his cold, hard lips pressed against hers_.

Bella wretched inside.

With a gasp of pleasure, he drew back again. "Oh, so, so sweet. My Bella," he breathed cloyingly over her face and then pressed his mouth to hers again.

The terror and panic wracking her very soul spilled out in hot tears that ran down her face in a silent scream. With a white-knuckled grip Bella clung desperately to a mind that longed to flee to insanity to protect her from such violation, as his unwelcomed lips moved over hers.

A startling crash made Edward rip his mouth from hers and whip around, going instantly into a crouch.

Suddenly Bella could move again! Frantically she scrabbled away from him with nowhere to go but the corner, her wide eyes finding Jasper standing in the doorway between the suites. The look on his face was frightening and dangerous.

"Now I'm afraid I just can't abide by such unseemly behavior," he drawled limpidly in contrast to his menacing posture. "Edward, you're in bad form."

Edward hissed. "Jasper, this is none of your concern."

Jasper tipped his head to the side with a wry smile. "We were both raised to be a gentleman and it seems you need a little remindin' of your manners." His golden eyes glanced over to Bella. "Honey, why don't you give us a little privacy to discuss a few things that need discussin'." Jasper indicated the bathroom with a lift of his chin.

Bella needed no second invitation.

She stumbled into the bathroom, barely noting that the handle was ripped off, and shut it quickly behind her as she turned on the light. The ventilation fan wheezing to life couldn't drown out the hissing behind the door, and Bella backed into the room, her breath heaving in fear.

A familiar piece of paper on the counter caught her eye, and, patting her empty jean's pocket in confirmation she lunged to retrieve Paul's picture and her only comforting constant and lifering throughout this ordeal. She grabbed it up and froze. Under it was a cell phone.

Jasper's cell.

Stuffing the drawing back in her jean's pocket, she grabbed up the device and backed up against the far wall as pounding crashes were punctuated by hissing snarls.

Flipping up the phone as she tried to quell her hiccupping sobs, her fingers frantically pressed the buttons.

_Ring, ring, ring_

"_Hello_?" a woman's voice answered.

"May I speak to Charlie Swan?" Bella quavered.

"_I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number."_

_Shit_.

Punching "end" Bella's trembling fingers more carefully dialed the familiar number. As it rang, Bella slowly slid down the cool slick tiles to sit on the floor, drawing her knees to her chin as the fight outside continued to rage.

"_You've got Charlie's voicemail. Leave a message and I'll get back to yeh."_

_Beep_.

'


	28. Chapter 28  Hemorrhage

**Chapter 28 – Hemorrhage**

'

It was the most subdued Pack meal Jacob had ever witnessed. He leaned his shoulders wearily against the kitchen wall and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched the somber scene before him: even _Embry_ was eating quietly. Sam glanced up from where he sat at the other end of the table, Emily at his side, and met his gaze. He pursed his lips in empathy as if he knew exactly what Jacob was thinking.

Jacob had whole new level of respect for Sam. Just _being_ Alpha was draining. He could _feel_ the entire Pack immutably tied to his very soul – similar to how he had heard imprinting described, but emotionally less intense. Six steel cables now connected him with his brothers and sister; he felt like one of those professional dog walkers who walked a gaggle of dogs in the parks of cities. Holding a leash in hand for each of the Pack – each tugging against it in their own unique way, even at rest. His lips twitched at the humorous mental image.

And then there was Paul.

A dynamo of force even bereft and mourning as he was, Paul hovered around the edges of the group, barely kept in orbit by the sheer force of the Pack's gravity. Even as 'rightful' Alpha Jacob could feel how little sway he had over their infamous wild card and he suddenly understood how difficult it had been for Sam.

At least Paul respected Sam. Whether it was Emily, the length of their acquaintance, age or something more, Paul and Sam had become friends. It wasn't a secret that Jacob had been a grating annoyance to Paul even _before_ he had imprinted on Bella. They had such different personalities. Jacob was also betting that bitterness over his lineage and the fact he had a devoted father factored in there along with Paul's general resentment of authority.

Jacob wondered if they didn't have Bella in common, if he would have any dominion over the man at all. He supposed such an immutable dominance was necessary for a front lineman, in order to enable the unfettered aggression and power that Paul epitomized. Yes, it would be tiring to navigate the complex minefield Paul represented, but it was also _necessary_… for both Bella's sake as well as the Pack's.

He was a pain in the ass, but Paul was undoubtedly worth the every last one of his idiosyncrasies. He had proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Everyone in this room had a renewed respect for his place in the Pack; his prowess, battle acumen and sheer inexhaustible driving offensive had been the decisive element to their very survival in their only real battle.

There was no question: _he had fucking saved their asses._

Jacob's gaze ran thoughtfully over his muscled, imposing Pack mate hunched over the counter, a ball-point pen from the cup by the phone dwarfed by his large hand as he doodled on the back of one of Sam's bills. Emily had given him an entire chuck roast that he had devoured quickly and mechanically in silence. Afterwards, he had practically vaulted up to wash his dishes, seeming to be relieved by being able to flee from the table.

His left arm was laid out carefully on the counter as he sketched. Jacob knew it still hurt, but after they had removed the bandages to find the skin mostly healed, he hadn't let them rebind it. The muscle was withered oddly under the ropey scarred skin that looked like melted, shiny twisted caramel poured directly over his bone. His hand was frozen in loose claw which Sue hoped would relax out once the muscles and tendons completely reformed. He wouldn't be running on three legs, but it would never be the same.

Jacob wondered what other scars would remain after this ordeal. Paul was torn to pieces inside, anyone could see that._ Shredded with a soul wrenching worry for Bella_. Inscrutable, proud Paul now stood, shoulders despondently slumped, head hanging dejectedly, while intermittent tremors rolled over his body. _If suffering had a face_, Jacob thought, _this would be it._

Jacob's heart ached in his chest. Truthfully he didn't even know what to do with all the anger and sadness he _himself_ was feeling. Personally, he didn't have much experience with this kind of emotion. His life had been stable, uncomplicated, simple – until Phasing.

He didn't remember his mother, but the hole in his life she left behind was the closest thing he had experienced to this burning, gaping hole Bella's absence left in his being…and the very fabric of the Pack. The abandonment of his own peevish selfishness along with his embrace of his lineage and few days experience as Alpha made it so he understood more about imprinting and just how important Bella and Paul were to one another. If his best friend's abduction was so excruciating for _him_, he knew he couldn't even begin to fathom how _Paul_ felt.

Seeming to sense Jacob's thoughts, Paul looked up at that moment, his eyes unequivocally answering that silent question. Behind the rage, behind the resentment and blame, behind the frustration and obvious furious planning …was a wasteland of complete and utter desolation.

Jacob had to avert his eyes. Such raw devastation was simply too intimate and painful to witness.

Thankfully the Clearwater siblings had just arrived as a well-timed distraction – Jacob could _feel_ them even before they opened the front door. The Pack turned expectantly at their silent entrance, Emily following suit.

Seth – his arm still in a sling – walked in with the same weight to his shoulders that all of them had, while Leah hesitated at the kitchen door. Paul straightened and caught the boy's eyes, jerking his chin in summons while the Pack looked on.

With a nervous glance to Jacob, the boy crossed the room, swallowing thickly under Paul's innately intimidating intensity.

Somberly Paul reached out his good hand and rested it on Seth's shoulder. "Thanks for what you did, Seth," he murmured in a resonate bass that was pulled taut by grief.

The boy nodded curtly in response even though they all knew he suffered from the Pack's general affliction of each taking singular blame for Bella's loss.

Paul blinked and lowered his eyes, dismissing the boy by letting his hand fall back to his side. Without another word he turned back to his drawing at the counter.

Seth looked up at Jacob again as if searching for direction.

Emily saved him by standing. "Seth, Leah… come sit down and eat," she urged quietly.

He did so easily, sitting next to Quil, while Leah, on the other hand, looked down at her feet from where she was still standing uncertainly in the doorway.

"Lee," Jacob called, stretching out his hand.

She looked up and met his gaze and he attempted a smile as she took several steps into the room. Jacob wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. "C'mon, it's okay. Let's eat, chica," he murmured and leaned in to place a comforting kiss on his friend's temple.

He and Leah had always gotten along well and surprisingly when she had Phased things had only improved – he loved that girl's kick-ass attitude, even if she had to be reined in now and again. She was a fun bit of spice that fit well with his easy-going and fairly even-keel personality. The rest of them had had various opinions of her before she had Phased – she certainly inspired strong reactions. Above all though, now she was _Pack_ and she needed to understand that. That – no matter what -_she was accepted here._ Sam hadn't been able to do that for her – for obvious reasons – but Jacob could. And he found himself _wanting_ to do so. _Needing_ to.

Yes, he couldn't consciously deny that Leah was an enigma in his life that demanded a little more attentive consideration when things settled down.

When Bella was back.

_When_, not _if_.

Jacob sat at the other head of the table and motioned for Leah to take the seat at his right while food was silently passed down toward them. Jacob took generous helpings of each dish and then sat back in his chair, perusing the glum tucked heads ringing the table as they ate.

"So…" he began. Every last pair of eyes at the table snapped up to instant deferential attention. It should have been unnerving or weird … or _something_.

But it wasn't.

Even though Jacob was still intellectually ambivalent about his role as Alpha, emotionally _it just felt right_. Instinct and genetics were crazy things, he no longer had a doubt about that.

For instance, he'd never been much of a control freak… _until now_.

But _now_ he found himself irrationally infuriated by the fact that Paul had _not_ looked up, but had continued to tersely draw at the counter.

"Paul," Jacob muttered, more annoyance creeping into his deepened voice than he intended.

When the man didn't even acknowledge he had spoken, Jacob's wolf imperiously reared its head. "_Paul_!" he barked.

The man drew in a leisurely breath. "Yep," he replied maddeningly without looking up, only his pen bearing down harder on the paper.

With a sigh of exasperation, Jacob roughly shoved his chair back from the table. Already at obedient ready, it was as if everyone simultaneously held their breaths. There was a completely different level of tense silence that suddenly reverberated around the table.

Jacob ignored it and straightened to his full newly-gained height.

His phone, of course, chose that time to ring. Jacob reached down and silenced it through the material of his shorts.

"_Paul, come join us,"_ Jacob asked with a supercilious solicitousness through his teeth – it was clearly an order, not a request.

"I'm good here," Paul bit back, his jaw hardening as he resisted the compulsion that came with that voice.

"Paul…" Jacob warned, his voice descending lower in warning. "_Look at me_."

Every last of the Pack– with the notable exception of one - snapped their eyes up to obey the threateningly lurid mandate that oozed thick and viscous over the room.

With precise, exacting movements, Paul set down his pen and carefully dusted off his hand on his shorts. Pressing his lips together and squaring his shoulders, Paul turned around.

_Slowly_.

Jacob involuntarily gulped at the menacing fire that lit those intense and bottomless eyes.

"Yes, _Jake_?" He twisted his name with a sarcastic familiarity.

Jacob frowned, a growl of fury being loosed by his incensed wolf. The lupine instinct didn't understand the subtlety the situation demanded. It didn't give a damn if Paul was grieving piteously for his imprint, or their best fighter, or recently injured… it wanted him to _obey_.

_Demanded_ it.

Jacob barely registered that Sam's cell got in about half a ring before he slapped it silent. He was too busy wrestling with the beast.

Jacob swallowed his indignation but pressed on, "Look, Paul. You're part of this Pack and-"

Paul interrupted with snide smirk as he hissed perilously, "I'm _part of this Pack_ as long as I _want to be._ And if you knew what was good for you, you'd _leave me the fuck alone."_

Jacob's lips lifted reflexively up from his canines. "_Paul_-" he growled low and dangerous.

Within seconds Paul was chest to chest with his Alpha, snarling in his face. "It's all I can do to keep from ripping out _every last throat in this room_," he rasped murderously with a feral glint in his eye.

"My _mate_ … my _imprint_ … is being held hostage by _a motherfucking blood sucker_ and I can _feel_ her. _Feel her_, Jake!" His eyes left Jacob's face momentarily as if he saw her in his mind's eye. "Sick, sad… scared… _terrified_. _Bella is_ _terrified_ and that asshole's _fucking_ with her. _Touching__ her_! I can _feel_ it!" he yelled, all the cords standing out of neck as his entire body now shook violently. "She's _so weak _right now, Jake! And she's _crying…she's crying_ _for me_. It's like her broken heart is bleeding in my hands _right now_… _hemorrhaging_… and I can't do a goddamn thing about it! DO YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW THAT FEELS? DO YOU!" Abruptly he fisted his good hand in his hair as he doubled over, wheezing like he'd been socked in the gut.

"_Paul, you must not Phase_," Jacob commanded, keeping his voice calm and low and putting all he could into the velvet compulsion.

Paul gasped, bracing himself on his thigh as his shoulders continued to heave. "I c-can't stand it, Jacob. I _need_ her." He looked up with eyes that were crazed and burning with anguish. "_I. Need. My. Mate._" He bit out, enunciating every word like a punch.

Jacob drew in a deep breath and watched his Pack mate miserably struggling to hold himself together as he let his head hang back to the floor. Jacob's gaze scanned over the others in the room – everyone was staring at their plates. Not one person could bear to watch such agony. Bella wasn't the only one… hemorrhaging.

The old yellow phone on the wall cut through the deafening silence with its jangly ring. Emily looked up and met his gaze; no one ever called on the land line.

Jacob nodded and she hurriedly pushed off the bench to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey Emily, it's Billy Black," the unflappable voice crooned on the other end and to every last supernatural ear in the room. "Is Jake around?"

"Yes," she glanced up at Jacob who was already crossing the room as he pulled his cell out of his pocket. The caller ID confirmed that it was his father's call he had missed.

He took the offered phone as he pinched the bridge of his nose and drew in a settling breath. "Yeah, dad."

"Son, Charlie called. He's on his way right now and then we'll be coming on over there. Probably about ten minutes," he said cryptically obviously trying to avoid telling him something.

Jacob wasn't in the mood for subtle. "Why?"

"He heard from her, Jake. He got a call from Bella," Billy said evenly.

The bottom dropped out of his stomach at the same time a flush of adrenaline climbed up his spine. "_What_?"

"_What_!" Paul exclaimed at the very same time and Jacob glanced over to see him straighten up and prowl toward him.

Jacob held up his hand as Billy continued. "Calm yourself… I don't know the details – couldn't barely understand him he's so crazy from whatever she said. Now, you gotta play this one _real smart_, son," he admonished in an intense and serious tone that Jacob rarely ever heard. "If Charlie's that upset think what this is going to do to _the rest of the Pack_," he paused with emphasis. _Paul_. He meant Paul. "It's got the makings of a real touchy situation that we don't have time for right now."

Jacob nodded grimly and then realized his father couldn't see him. "I understand."

"Good. Bella told him to call me and that I would explain…and_ I_ _will_ on the way over – the big stuff. But I know Charlie… he's not gonna take kindly to things he don't understand without a fight."

Jacob sighed heavily in capitulation.

"So you think you got it all under control, son?" Billy's question was weighted.

Jacob pointedly met Paul's gaze. Without a doubt, that razor sharp mind understood the subtext of this conversation.

Paul nodded minutely, his jaw tensing.

"Yep. It's all good, dad," Jacob replied with a little more confidence than he felt.

"'Kay, good. See you in a little while then," Billy hung up the phone with his usual unembellished efficiency.

Jacob hung the phone up in its cradle and turned to the room. He glanced at the only pair of eyes that looked confused. "Emily, my dad's bringing Chief Swan over to the house in a few minutes. He got a call from Bella," he provided.

As much as it might make things less contentious, Jacob knew there was _no way_ the Pack would stand to be left out of this meeting, so to the rest of the room he announced, "finish eating and then come out to the front. We'll meet with him outside." Such a loaded meeting had the potential for even worse disaster indoors. Jacob met Sam's validating gaze and then glanced up to Paul and jerked his chin toward the door even while he was striding across the room.

Paul squared his shoulders and followed.

Jacob sat down on the front steps and waited until Paul jogged past him down the steps and leaned against the house. He wasn't going to insult him with a lecture. But some instinct deep inside him told him they needed to reconnect after what had transpired in the kitchen. He needed to bond enough with Paul to at least have his trust for this meeting. "You 'gonna be okay?" he asked quietly

Paul nodded curtly and then leaned his head against the railing while his good hand slowly massaged his ruined arm.

Jacob sighed and hung his head wearily. He absently cracked his knuckles as he leaned his elbows on this thighs. "We're gonna get her back," he murmured to the ground.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him," Paul hissed vicious and simple.

Jacob looked up and nodded. "I wanna go with you and get my claws in that motherfucker too… but I _can't_ leave now," Jacob's voice quivered in frustration. As Alpha, he couldn't leave the Pack – even _Jacob_ had to capitulate to that distasteful fact. There was already word that this kid, Brady, had caught some kind of nasty flu… and they all knew too well what that meant. "So you'll have to fuck him up real slow and painful for me."

"Oh, _I will_," Paul promised in an icy and menacingly whisper that left no doubt as to the validity of such an assertion. "Don't you worry about that."

Jacob couldn't help his approving smile, "I know. I trust you… you're the only one who really understands how special she is. And that's the only thing that makes this shit even bearable."

Paul's eyes darted between Jacob's, assessing, for several moments. With a nod, Paul returned his gaze to the ground.

The sound of tires squealing out on the road made both wolves look up. Rocks hit metal with the speed of the police cruiser as it careened down the gravel driveway, lights flashing.

"Here we go," Jacob muttered as he stood and the rest of the Pack filed out of the house and into the yard expectantly.

The car lurched to a stop and the engine was cut. Embry and Quil automatically stepped forward to assist Billy – as they usually did – but Jacob held up his hand, staying them. Their sensitive ears could easily hear what was going on in the car.

Charlie was turned toward Billy listening to him with a scowl. "You've finally gone off your rocker, old man," he hissed.

Billy gave him an infuriatingly serene smile. "We'll see about that, Charlie."

An impatient grunt escaped from Paul's throat, and Jacob whipped around to see him leaning forward, his gaze trained intently on the scene before him. Jacob frowned and Paul met his gaze, leaning back against the house and caging his good hand behind his hips conciliatorily.

As if Charlie had sensed him, he looked up suddenly, his gaze cutting through the Pack to land on Paul. His eyes narrowed. "What's _he_ doing here?" Charlie bit out acerbically.

"He's Bella's imprint," Billy replied.

Charlie's head snapped to his friend as his brow furrowed. "What the _hell_ are you talking about?"

Billy smacked his lips and resituated himself with the unhurried evenness for which he was infamous. "His wolf recognized Bella as his mate… his other half. It's parta the magic, Charlie." He tipped his head thoughtfully and glanced at Paul. "I told you it was complicated that day on the phone. They're bound to each other for life," he said simply as if it was the most obvious and reasonable thing in the world.

Charlie literally snarled and then turned and glared daggers toward them all as he roughly shoved the door open and threw himself from the car, slamming the door behind him.

"Look I don't care what the hell you're smokin' down here, but for _some God forsaken reason_ she told me you could help," he began as he ran his hand through his hair in a brief show of discomfort. "And I just don't know where else to turn," his voice suddenly deflated leaving a father's paralyzing fear and uncertainty laid bare.

Jacob signaled Embry and Quil to help his father as Jacob crossed the grass toward Charlie. "Hey Charlie. And we can. Did my dad tell you about them…" he left the sentence dangling.

Charlie's mustache hitched up on one side sarcastically. "That those goddamn _Cullens_," he spat the word and froze at the reflexive growls from the Pack. Looking unsettled, his gaze snapped back to Jacob. "That they're some kinda …" he rolled his eyes. "Vampires," he twisted the word like he felt silly.

Jacob merely nodded soberly, internally chuckling at Charlie's discomfiture. "And that we're their mortal enemies?"

Charlie blinked rapidly. "Yeah, somethin' like that. Whatever kinda mumbo-jumbo you're into talkin' don't concern me right now. _Do you know where my baby girl is, or not_?"

"Tell us what you know. _Now_!" Paul growled suddenly, his meager patience apparently already bankrupt.

Jacob held up his hand for silence, praying that Paul complied. He heard him restlessly swaying back and forth on his feet.

"They took her and we couldn't follow their scent," Jacob explained evenly. "We need to know what she told you."

Charlie swallowed uncomfortably. "Now she didn't _tell_ me nothin'."

"_What_!" Paul snarled.

"Paul!" Jacob bellowed and then his attention refocused intently on Charlie Swan. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I didn't have my phone on me. She left me a message," his hand came back to scratch at the back of his neck with anxious remorse.

"_Play the fucking message_," Paul snarled and Jacob's hand shot out blithely to intercept him as he lunged forward.

Jacob glanced at Paul with a reproving frown.

Charlie had blanched and taken a step back, his eyes round as saucers at Paul's ferocity. They quickly narrowed again in a scowl.

Jacob felt as much as heard Paul's rumbling answering growl. He licked his lips and drew in a cooling breath through his nose, trying to keep the tenuous rein on his own composure. He could feel Paul's insidious rage leaching out through the Pack and they were ramping up accordingly.

"Charlie, she's in danger. We're _all_ just as crazy-worried as you are. She's part of _our Pack_ now," he murmured with a soothing undertone aimed at quieting the wolves. "Please…" he invited with an open hand.

Charlie looked like he was biting his tongue. "Alright," he muttered, reaching into his pocket with shaking hands. "The speakerphone don't work no more," he grumbled as he fumbled with the buttons on the old flip phone.

"We can hear it," Paul growled low.

Charlie glanced up at him and pressed his lips into a straight line. He pressed a button and held the phone out toward them and the tinny message played:

"_Dad_! Oh, God… dad… they said he's _dead_. That P-Paul's dead ...and _Jake_ too." Bella's voice was breathy, frantic and senseless from fear. "Oh, God… but I _can_ _feel_ him. Today I can _feel_ him again. He just... Oh, God... maybe it's just the drugs he's giving me, or something… but _please_… can you g-go to the Rez and find out? _He can't be dead!_ I know you don't understand... but _I love him_. I really do... Dad, _please_. Talk to Billy. _Call Billy…_ please! For me, dad. He'll explain everything... I-I hope. E-Edward said they all _hate_ me now… that they blame me..."

The entire Pack erupted in snarls and Jacob jerked around with a staying hand. "Shut up!" he roared.

"… _Please_ ask Billy. They're the _only_ ones who can help dad. _Really_. It's so complicated. I'm so s-sorry. E-Edward kidnapped me. He-he's gone crazy or something… I- I…" There was a crash in the background. "Oh God!" she shrieked, and her breath hitched in heartbreaking sobs. "Dad… I don't know where I am! A bathroom of some hotel. The coasters say…" it sounded like she stood up. "They say 'Alexis.' Please… _please_ see if they can help me. Trust me dad… I know it sounds crazy, _but they're the only ones_! I'm _scared_, dad…_so scared._ I don't know what he… I-I don't know what-" she suddenly sucked in a quick breath with a little shriek. There was a shuffling sound and then another voice was heard in the distance.

"My love… we need to leave quickly. It appears that Jasper is no longer our friend. _Come_…" It then sounded like she had been roughly jerked up - along with her squeak of pain - and the phone apparently skittered across the floor.

Jacob felt nauseous.

"Darling…what's this?

"No! … n-no Edward … p-please I –"

A scrabbling sound heralded a chilling croon on the line. "Hello? Hello?... Oh, my love. So silly. Why must you do this to yourself? I _told_ you they didn't want y–" The line went dead.

An aseptic nasal voice droned, "If you'd like to save the message press…"

Charlie let his hand slowly drop to his side as he flipped it closed.

Jacob swallowed audibly – he was literally choking from anger and the heart-wrenching agony of hearing such a message. From his best friend. Grinding his teeth and not trusting himself to speak, he met Charlie's gaze which was overflowing now with silent tears, his lips pressed together in a vain attempt to still their quivering.

"Paul!" Sam's bass voice boomed, snapping Jacob's head back into the game.

He turned to see Paul's body vibrating so violently his outline was blurred. "_Paul! Stop… now!"_ Jacob intoned. But his imperative had no effect on the raging wolf.

Paul's lips were peeled back from gnashing teeth. He gagged on a guttural growl and doubled over with the wrenching tremors rolling through his body, making his skin look like it was slithering over his writhing muscles.

"The Alexis hotel_ is in_ _Seattle_," Leah breathed urgently from where she stood by her brother.

Jacob's gaze snapped up to her. "You're sure?"

She nodded quickly.

Suddenly Paul fell forward to the ground. He groaned in agony as his body jerked in the grass. "Get back!" Jacob yelled to the Pack.

In the most eerily slow transformation Jacob had seen, Paul's body flailed and twisted as he metamorphosed achingly into the huge silver wolf while he bellowed in pain.

"_Jesus Christ!_"

Jacob barely registered Charlie's hoarse exclamation.

The animal lay on the ground, panting with the effort for a moment before ruthless yellow eyes snapped to Jacob. Enraged and shaking with vehemence, the beast rolled up to his haunches and then slowly stood, its teeth bared as it growled ferociously.

Jacob held up appeasing hands. "Easy, Paul…we have to find Bella," he murmured. "She's in Seattle. _Go_! Go get her!" They would just have to plan while they ran... there was _no way in fucking hell_ that Paul was going to refrain from running after her this very second. Truthfully it was only his delicate hold on instinct and duty that kept Jake from following suit.

The beast tentatively tested its front left paw, which was twisted, its leg brutally scarred and without fur even as the wolf. Prancing back and forth on its front feet several times, it threw its head back with a deafening howl. Then, meeting Jacob's gaze one more time, it turned on its heel and loped across the yard heading north. Each long stride became stronger, and surer until the creature was a blur as it disappeared into trees.

"KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER!" Jacob yelled after the animal, and then turned and murmured to where Sam had moved to his side, "Sam? Go with him. We'll feed you instructions after we talk more."

Sam already had his hands at the band of his shorts.

"Take Jared and Embry," he called after Sam who jogged across the yard, seamlessly dropping his shorts.

The two other wolves nodded obediently, instantly stripping.

As the three men exploded simultaneously in fur and the huge animals raced after their Pack mate into the woods, Jacob heard Charlie wheeze a gasp. He turned to see the man, chalky with shock and leaning against the cruiser, his hand clutched reflexively over his heart.

Billy rolled over to his friend with a sly smile. "Believe me now, you old fool?"

'


	29. Chapter 29 Savvy

**29 Savvy**

'

Paul's paws beat the ground in a frenetic rhythm as the forest whipped by him. Each footfall sent a sharp shooting pain up his left front leg, like the step was landing on a bed of razor blades. Over and over.

Paul didn't care.

There was simply nothing that could detract from the myopic, single-minded focus of getting to Seattle. To his mate. As fast as he could.

Except, perhaps, the cloying scent of vampire rot. This particular brand, actually.

It was a _Cullen_ – Jasper, to be exact – and close. Paul slowed as his muzzle lifted to catch the sickening sweet scent from the breeze. His wolf growling in gleeful anticipation, he changed course as he salivated with enthusiasm.

Ahead he saw the spectral figure with ghostly white skin made even more pallid by flaxen hair. The vampire was standing at the edge of the treaty line, just at the ravine, obviously contemplating crossing.

_Fuck the goddamn treaty._ That game was over a long time ago.

Being downwind along with his innately silent gait, afforded Paul the advantage of surprise as he easily leaped the ravine and landed not twenty feet from his prey. With a rabid snarl the wolf lunged viciously for the vampire who had instantly whipped around in a defensive crouch. Paul's attack was thwarted by Jasper's fluent evasion.

_Fuck_.

Rounding on him again, the wolf sprang and Paul phased mid-air barely catching his opponent's jaw with his round-house kick. The move was enough to at least throw the other off balance with its counter. And it _should_ have been enough to allow Paul's following lightning punch to land a square hit, but with a fluid deft flip, Jasper again spun out of harm's way.

_This one was so much better than the others._

Livid, Paul phased back to the wolf – feeling the dragging drain of his convalescence – and ruthlessly attacked with rabid snapping jaws. Jasper's expertise was impressively showcased in the series of acrobatics that lithely avoided each of what should have been both inescapable and mortal blows.

But Paul was merciless and unrelenting.

Finally leaping up against a rock face, Paul's haunches pushed off in a twisting rebound, making him careen forcefully into his opponent. They tumbled into the ravine with the violent impact. Paul pinned the vampire under his weight upon landing, even as he considered all the different ways he could dismember his prey. _Slowly. Painfully._

_Paul! He's here about Bella! Listen to him! _Sam's voice boomed yet again in his head, finally breaking through the blood-red haze of rage that had contracted his world down to the single imperative to _kill_.

Jasper's hands were held up in placating surrender as the wolf glared down at him with burning eyes and a snarling muzzle.

"Are you just about through, now?" Jasper drawled with maddening nonchalance.

The wolf panted through his teeth, as Paul struggled to surface from his blinding fury, realizing suddenly that Jasper had taken the fall on purpose. He hadn't been fighting… not really. He'd merely been evading Paul's frenzied, fierce offensive.

Phasing back into the man and gasping with the effort – the Change took a level of energy that his healing body barely had – Paul kept his hand clenched on the vampire's throat. Just for good measure.

"Where is she?" he ground out, trying to measure his heaving breath and cage the urge to rip the man's head off and ask his questions later.

Jasper's lips twisted in a wry smile and his gaze dipped pointedly to Paul's restraining grip that was literally digging inch-deep holes into his alabaster skin.

"Why the _fuck_ do you even _think_ I'm going to trust you again?" he spat as Sam landed on two legs beside him.

"_Paul_, listen to him," Sam warned low from beside him. Wisely keeping his fucking hands to himself. Oh he _so_ didn't want to get between Paul and this leech.

"_Shut the fuck up, Sam_," he growled with white-hot animosity. "Well you motherfuckin' leech? Give me _one_ reason not to tear your head off right now."

"I'll give you several, and then you'll let me up all gentleman-like so we can get to findin' your girl," Jasper gave him an unconcerned smile. "One… I saved your life. Two… I'm on your side. Three… I'm your only ticket to finding her. Four... I came back of my own accord - and at considerable risk, knowing what I do about the particulars of your savvy and mettle. You an' I share a certain affinity I'd say – kinda got a little soft spot in my poor dead heart growin' for the two of you. And if she was mine, I know I'd be going right outta my mind just about now."

"She's **mine**," Paul growled so vehemently that spittle sprayed over Jasper's face.

The vampire blinked urbanely, and then glanced pointedly again down at Paul's fist at his throat. "So are you just through, now? Time's a wastin' and I'm not used to havin' so damned little of it."

With a petulant growl, Paul pushed off him and stood – his body still vehemently vibrating with bloodlust.

In a flash, Jasper was on his feet, dispassionately dusting the leaves from his shirt, while he regarded the wolf before him, assessing.

Sam stepped between them, as he watched his Pack mate desperately trying to rein in his rage. "Do you know where she is?" he asked the leech.

"Not in Seattle. Not anymore," he provided out of the corner of his mouth.

Paul snarled in frustration as he turned his back on the creature, slamming his good hand into the rock face with fury.

"What can you tell us? What happened?" Sam pressed.

"Well, I count myself a fool for not puttin' an end to this debacle of his sooner. I'm certainly no saint," Jasper's lips hitched up in the corner. "But I'm not one for sufferin'… And I _like_ your girl. She's got pure feelings."

Paul whipped around with a furrowed brow.

Jasper tapped his temple. "My gift, y'know. Emotions. I taste 'em. And hers are somethin' else, let me tell you. Seems a pity to break her like he's doin'."

Paul growled viciously.

"My feelings exactly," Jasper smiled, unperturbed. "So I finally took it up with him, and lost the first round. When I got back to the hotel room, he was gone. I tracked him to the parking lot, but after that…"

Paul barked an acerbic laugh. "You fight like you do, and that whiny cocksucker fucking kicked _your_ ass?"

"He did _no such thing_," Jasper hissed crossly sounding personally affronted.

Paul smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I was _trying_ not to hurt him – he being my brother and all – and he threw me out the damn window. 'Not used to fightin' inside like that," Jasper sniffed defensively. "Fifteen stories. Had to muster a might bit a' damage control since I flattened a van and got right back up in front of twenty-odd humans. By the time I got back he was, of course, gone. I went straight for Sea-Tac, but couldn't find hide nor hair of his scent at the airport."

"Where's the other?" Sam asked quickly, glancing at Paul's quivering body warily.

And he was right to be concerned; Paul was only marginally able to hold it together at this point.

"My wife?" Jasper's lips stretched into a tight smile. "She was shoppin' at the time. She's… ah, _ambivalent_ - shall we say - about the whole thing. She thinks Bella suits Edward just fine 'cause there's very little in this life that actually interests the boy. It don't matter none how _Bella_ feels about the arrangement. Alice's simple like that," he cocked his head as a brief expression of annoyance flashed across his face. "She was pouting, so to save us all the headache, I convinced her to go on after Carlisle – who's finishing up a trip somewhere in South America. No cell phone coverage. Be sure, he'll side with you and me on this one. I just don't know how much time we have? I'm worried your girl's not gonna make it."

Paul inadvertently gasped as his white-hot fury instantly metastasized into molten anguished worry. He swallowed thickly. "How is she?" he choked quietly.

Jasper took a deep breath and spoke on its exhale. "She's weak. We couldn't get her to eat, but _even so…_ it's like _something else_ is draining that tiny little body a' hers."

Paul and Sam exchanged anxious looks.

"She'd lost the will to live as of yesterday, but today she was a might better. I'm assumin' all that has something to do with you?" Jasper raised his eyebrows shrewdly toward Paul.

Sam answered. "Paul finally woke up from a coma … today."

Jasper nodded. "That bindin' ya'll have …" he left the sentence incomplete, merely nodding reverentially. Jasper's lips pressed grimly into a straight line. "But while I gotta little more faith that she's gonna perk up now with you on the mend – that's not my only concern, Edward's gone … well, to be frank, I think he's gone an' lost his marbles. Happens sometimes with our kind. I'm worried he's finally gonna realize he's _never_ gonna get a hold of that heart a hers… and…." Jasper left the sentence poignantly hanging.

The unspoken predicate was understood by every single one of them.

Paul imploded. Literally. He choked on his breath and fell forward, catching himself against the rock face as tremors violently shook his body so that his teeth audibly chattered. "FUCK! I'm gonna kill that motherfucker! KILL HIM!" he threw his head back and gagged on his rage.

Sam glanced at his Pack mate with concern and quickly interjected. "We'll find her before that happens. How do we find her? I assume you've got some kinda plan?"

"We gotta track 'em the modern way," Jasper crooned, taking another couple steps back all the same from the enraged werewolf, as did Sam.

Sam raised his brow quizzically.

"Hacking," Jasper grinned toothily as Paul whipped back around, having the focus of planning laid before him. "I know what names they're traveling under. I can take Edward on my own, now," he scowled pointedly at Paul. "But if I go after him, I don't put it past my wife to call and give Edward a head's up. But if I travel _with you all_… you wolves'll ruin her sight."

"You got that fucking right, leech," Paul growled.

Jared Phased and announced, "I've been feeding all this back and Jake says to come back …and bring Jasper. Swan says he can use the police system to set up a net."

"Can he give me access?" Jasper asked.

"Fuck yeah. I'll gut 'em if he doesn't," Paul snarled and quickly Phased, leaping up the side of the ravine.

'

* * *

><p>'<p>

Gasping, Bella jolted to sitting position.

Or tried to. She hit her head against something metal and groaned in pain. With adrenaline washing over her, she spayed her hands in front of her in the pitch black darkness.

_Oh my God! She was in a tiny little space!_ Trying to swallow down the multiple levels of fear, she took several slow shaking breaths, trying – uselessly – to quell her hysteria.

_A trunk? She was in the trunk of a car?_ Nausea twisted her stomach as she started hyperventilating with claustrophobia. She frantically started feeling around the small space – there was some sort of release in the back of trunks, right?

Suddenly though the trunk popped open, and light spilled over her, making her blink as it shot through like daggers into her pounding head.

"Bella, darling… you're awake," a hushed voice murmured. _Ugh! That freaking voice!_ To think that she had ever found it appealing was right now simply beyond belief.

Bella blinked laboriously: her eyelids felt like they weighed five pounds each.

"Come, love, it's time to awaken. You've been sleeping all day," Edward continued with a patronizing amusement twisting his voice as if it were adorable. As if she had been taking a nap like an exhausted child, instead of being a woman with sedatives pushed into her veins by a syringe against her will.

And then put in a trunk.

Her eyes were rolling in her head as she desperately tried to orient herself and push herself up to a sitting position. "You put me in a trunk?" Bella mumbled, her tongue still feeling thick and unresponsive in her mouth.

"I'm so sorry… I wanted to get you before you awakened. It was for your own safety, love. I've just finished arranging everything for our trip," he crooned, stroking his cool fingers down her cheek. Bella winced away from that touch.

She took in everything but the wild smiling face watching her carefully: she was in the back of a car – a different car from earlier – and it was nighttime.

Bella squeezed her eyes closed for another moment to block out the insane bliss sparkling frighteningly in those eyes. Amid the disorientation and confusion, one sacrosanct fact stood out to her, engraved indelibly on her very soul in its certainty: _Paul was alive_. And that meant Jacob was too. The relief at just _knowing_ that her best friend… and _her mate_ were alive was wildly comforting and gave Bella a renewed strength and purpose to endure whatever was coming next.

Even in the drug-induced stupor, she knew she had to change a few things… _right now_. She had to be smarter about this. Edward was obviously not the man he had been – had he ever been who she had thought him to be? – and she needed to switch tacks if she was going to survive this. If Paul was alive, he would be searching for her _and he would find her_. Neither he, nor Jacob for that matter, would leave her to this exigent fate without a fight. It was a soul-deep _knowing_. It was just a matter of time before they found her.

She needed to be better.

Bella opened her eyes and met Edward's searching gaze. "Can you help me out, Edward?" Bella whispered in her fallow voice. "I'm sorry."

Seeming taken aback, a tentative smile played at his lips. "Oh dearest, I know it has been confusing."

"They could have killed me," Bella choked on the words even spoken in artifice.

Edward's smile broadened. "You're safe with me, love."

Bella forced her lips into a smile.

Luckily Edward's waning reason and burgeoning confidence distracted him from how pitifully poor Bella was at a duplicity.

"Oh, darling," he whispered as his cool hand stroked her cheek. "You'll see, we'll have such a wonderful life together. We have to go now, we can talk more on the way."

Bella sat up, her head spinning around a dull, throbbing ache. Pressing her lips together against the nausea, she glanced around her. They were parked in a well-lit parking lot. The sound of an airplane landing in the distance made her think that it was an airport. "I'm looking forward to seeing that castle in Ireland," she murmured timidly as he effortlessly picked her out of the car.

Bella swayed on her stiff legs and he steadied her as his mouth hitched up in his crooked smile. "We will see that one day, love. I promise. But for now I have a surprise for you."

"What kind of surprise?" she asked quietly, nausea turning her stomach. The drugs were making her sick.

"You'll see, love. We're going to a place that I've always wanted to take you. It's beautiful. I always thought it would be where we took our honeymoon."

Bella licked her lips and cleared her throat –trying to gather her muddled wits about her. She needed to get as much information as she could – without making him suspicious. "Is it warm?"

"Oh yes, warm and beautiful like you," he murmured. "We can be _married_ there and then decide how we want to spend the rest of our _eternity_." There was a certain testing edge to his voice. He still didn't trust her.

Bella gulped. Marriage? He had said eternity? Was he planning on Turning her? Not trusting herself to speak as adrenaline rushed through her veins, Bella simply nodded.

"Come now, we're going to be late," he admonished.

Bella paid rapt attention to everything she could on the way from the car to the building up ahead. It was indeed an airport – but a smaller one. "Olympia Regional Airport" was written over the automatic doors that they passed through into a luxurious concourse. It wasn't Sea-Tac; she'd never heard of it. _A private airport, maybe?_

"Now, love, we're are traveling as EU citizens to ease annoying issues of visas and the like – so just follow my lead," he crooned in a velvet warning as he hitched the large, single travel bag up on his shoulder and they crossed the parking lot. "Let's not have any more problems, now darling. Just remember, I'm listening," he pressed cryptically flashing her grin. Even if he couldn't hear Bella, he could still hear the people around her. He was warning her not to ask for help.

Edward kept a firm hand around her shoulders at every moment, and she stood meekly at his side at the Air Charter desk as he presented two passports to the pretty and perfectly groomed woman behind the mahogany counter.

"Miguel and Andrea Romero for a Newport Jet charter," Edward said smoothly to the woman with a British cadence to his words.

"Good evening," she piped brightly. "You will be flying with us to –"

Edward broke in with a disarming smile. "Ah! It is a surprise for my new wife. Our honeymoon." Edward glanced down at Bella with an urbane solicitousness.

Bella turned and gave the woman a tight-lipped smile and nodded.

"Are you feeling okay, dear?" the woman asked quietly as she glanced at Bella and checked the pictures on the passports.

She probably did look like shit. She certainly felt like it.

"Morning sickness," Edward beamed.

While the transaction was taking place, Bella scanned her surroundings carefully. The clock on the wall of the high-ceilinged concourse said 9:35. There was a no arrival/departure board in the terminal that appeared to be used for shipping, commuter and charter flights. There was a silver holder on the counter filled with shiny, executive pens advertising Newport Jets: An Air of Distinction. She took one from the display and glanced up to Edward with a questioning raise to her brow. He smiled benevolently and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Bella pulled her hair back into a pony tail and twisted it into a bun, shoving the pen into it. _Yes, she was quickly coming up with a plan. _She didn't want to go down like some simpering idiot like this – she had told Paul that she liked that he didn't think she was a useless, helpless fool. She didn't just have to prove to _him_ that his confidence was deserved. She had to prove it to _herself_.

"Right this way, sir. You will board at Gate three," the woman gracefully indicated the hallway to her left.

"Thank you," he dazzled and then placed his hand firmly at Bella's elbow and steered her toward it.

The small security checkpoint, ushered them through by barely checking their credentials. Bella realized that money could probably buy anything – even discretion.

Soft music played overhead through the empty halls. Seeing a concession machine, Bella tugged on Edward's arm and leaned up to his ear. "May I get some chewing gum for the flight," she whispered. "It hurts my ears."

"Of course," he smiled and changed course.

Bella picked out any old pack of gum and he put the bill into the machine. She took out a piece immediately and popped it into her mouth.

Down the hallway – and coming upon them entirely too quickly – was Gate Three. Luckily right before it, was a sign for a women's restroom.

"Can I use the restroom before we board?" Bella asked, trying to keep her face as innocent as possible.

Edward frowned. "Darling there are bathrooms on the jet."

"I hate airplane bathrooms," Bella wrinkled her nose, glad to be able to say something truthful.

"This is a private jet – it will only be us. They are nothing like you're used to," Edward contradicted.

"_Please_," Bella pushed. "They give me claustrophobia."_ Like trunks_, she mentally added bitterly. "Plus I just want to freshen up a little." She gave him an insecure grimace.

"You look beautiful," Edward smiled in a way that told her she had won. "Be quick, darling. And remember – I can hear the woman who is cleaning the restroom right now." He tapped his temple lightly.

With a solicitous nod, Bella disappeared into the bathroom. There was indeed an older woman who was cleaning down the counters while listening to whatever was playing on her headphones. With a nod to Bella, she continued her work.

Inside the stall, Bella pulled out the drawing from her back pocket and unfolded it. Her eyes ran affectionately over Paul's rendering, getting stuck on the soft smile that stretched her mate's lips – seeming almost like approval in this context. With a squint of pain at the prospect, Bella tore off a strip on the bottom – choosing the words to part with instead of desecrating the image of them in the mirror so beautifully captured. Refolding the remaining portion of the drawing and placing it in her pocket, she turned over the scrap in her hand.

Pulling the pen out from her hair, she held the paper up against the metal wall of the stall and as quickly and neatly as she could, wrote down all the details she could remember about the evening. Pulling off several small pieces of her gum, Bella folded the scrap of paper and stuck it on the door, right at typical eye level, scrawling 'urgent: help me' on the outside painfully over the penciled message from Paul.

Taking a step back and deep breath, she examined her handiwork and then expediently made use of the facilities.

When she emerged, Edward was anxiously watching the door like a hawk.

Bella smiled uncomfortably. "Okay… ready."

He wrapped his arm soundly around her shoulders and pulled her into his side as he leaned down and kissed her temple. "We're going to have such fun, darling. Just wait and see."

"I-I j-just need a little time to get my head together through all this," Bella pressed quietly.

"We have nothing but time now. An eternity of it," he crooned, leading her down the hallway.


	30. Chapter 30 Dreams

**30 – Dreams**

'

Paul massaged his damaged arm restlessly from where he sat in the institutional metal chair that looked like it had been hanging around the Forks Police Station since the 70's.

Just like Charlie Swan.

He watched as Jasper and Swan sat at two computers, feverishly reviewing flight passenger lists, rental car records, border checkpoints in a futile attempt to locate his mate. As they had been doing for fucking hours.

Paul glared at where Jacob was spilling out of the other chair, his mouth hanging open , his snoring sounding like he was sawing logs. He peevishly kicked him and chuckled darkly as Jacob snorted and sucked in the dribble of drool back into his mouth.

Leaning his head back against the wall Paul closed his own eyes. He didn't really think he could sleep, but simply couldn't bear to be … waiting anymore. From the charging adrenaline-fueled impetus for action to this administrative standstill, Paul was close to losing his sanity. Maybe he already had.

So he ran.

As seamless as his next breath he was submerged in dream. He tried to outrun his angst, his unease, to satisfy his unequivocal need to move.

He ran through forests and valleys, over deserts and mountains…his feet finding purchase easily, effortlessly as if he were being pulled by some kind of acute imperative.

_To… this place?_

The sky was blue, the trade winds gentle, and the rustle of the palm trees soothed Paul's soul as he slowed his step from the frenetic pace. Where ever he had escaped to, was certainly welcomed relief. The sherbet pink and orange of the flowers that grew over the salt-weathered fences along the sandy path perfectly highlighted the translucent cerulean of the tropical waters.

Paul took a deep breath and let it out slowly, smelling fragrant ginger, salty breezes… and wildflower honey. Every last cell of his body instantly piqued, he wiped the perspiration from his eyes and sprinted toward the gently tossing waves.

Ahead he saw a wolf sitting on the shoreline, intently staring out over the water.

A huge, silvery wolf.

Paul's breath caught in his throat; he had never seen his wolf like this. Separate, but still somehow inexorably part of him. Even in dreams.

A quick glance down the beach in either direction confirmed it was empty – powdered white sand being lapped at by murmuring crystalline waves as far as he could see. A long low howl pierced the sultry tropical scene, eerily out of place, but somehow also … not… and Paul's attention snapped back to the beast.

His anxious gaze swept the water flirting with the sunlight before him and he gasped as adrenaline charged through his veins like fire. Not a hundred feet out, floating face down in the liquid sapphire was a woman.

_Bella_.

Sprinting over the fine sand, he dove out past the sentry ruffle of waves. Surfacing from the temperate saltiness, he was at her side with three strong strokes. The water was only waist deep and he stood, his shaking hands grasping her limp body and turning her over.

"Bella," Paul choked desperately and leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. As soon as he did so, her body arched in his arms and she drew in a gulping breath against his mouth. "Oh, God… _babe_," he whispered pulling her up out of the water against his chest. Her eyes squeezed closed, sunken and darkened with fatigue. She was so thin and pale.

Warm chocolate eyes blinked open slowly and instantly locked on him in surprise as he waded slowly towards shore.

The wolf charged into the water snuffling her legs, her back, her head – anything the large animal could reach in a frenetic splashing prance around them. Paul batted with irritation at its exuberance and the wolf petulantly growled in return but slowed to a more sedate gait beside him.

Minutes seemed like hours as he was lost in that soulful blinking gaze of hers, and he was suddenly up on the shore, sitting down in fine sugar sand in the cool shade of a swaying palm tree.

Bella sat up a little more in his arms. "You're here," she whispered and pressed her cheek to his chest over his heart as she pulled her hands between their bodies like a small child, nestling into him. "You're alive."

Paul nodded, not trusting himself to speak in the sudden drowning overwhelm of emotion as he wrapped his arms around this woman that he loved so unfathomably.

After a moment of listening to the racing thud of his heart, she picked her head back up. "Jake?" she asked. He helped her sit up more so she was straddling his lap.

"He's fine," he assured her, finding his voice as he squeezed her cool, frail body to him, fingers running over the prominent ridges of her spine. "You're so thin, little girl. Too thin…" he murmured unhappily, leaning forward to kiss her hairline.

Bella nodded and closed her eyes, falling back to his shoulder wearily.

The wolf chose that moment to push its muzzle into her side with a pitiful whine.

"Open your eyes, Bella. Don't close them. Not right now," he said, echoing his own instinct epitomized in the wolf.

"I'm so tired," she whimpered quietly.

"I know. But we're coming, babe. I'm coming to get you. We got the message from your dad, and Jasper came back to help. We're looking for you," Paul said through gritted teeth as he desperately tried to ignore the searing heat in his body. He didn't want to waste one second of this moment with her by losing control of his temper.

There was time enough for that later.

Bella sat up with an aching fatigue to her movements and turned to the wolf sitting beside them. The wild and majestic animal flattened its ears submissively. Bella turned so she could reach both arms out to the beast, who shuffled forward in the sand on its forepaws. She leaned into the massive head wrapping her arms around the ruff of its neck and collapsing her face against its muzzle with a soft sigh.

Paul smiled involuntarily. There was something about seeing his tiny, delicate mate embrace his fierce, imposing wolf with such overt and undaunted affection. It somehow made him feel just a little bit more human.

"Oh, Wolf," she sighed and placed a sweet kiss on that licorice nose. She sat back up in Paul's lap, giving the animal's ears a vigorous scratch before she turned back to Paul. "Are you really here?" She asked, looking between the two of them. "Is it just a dream?"

"It feels so real," he whispered as his eyes tried to memorize every last detail of her face. Paul's good hand came up to trace her jaw, run up the curve of her neck, over the now prominent line of her collarbone, touching the hollow of her throat. Trying to absorb every last bit of her, every last pore of her body.

"Oh my God, I miss you so much," her voice shredded as tears welled up in her tired eyes. "I'm scared." She threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders as soulful sobs bubbled up from deep inside her to spill over into his neck.

Paul's arms wrapped protectively around her. "I'm sorry, babe. I'm so sorry. I never should hav-"

Bella pulled back and stilled his lips with indignant fingers. She sniffled and blinked the tears impatiently from her eyes. "_Hush_. It's NOT your fault. It's _Edward's_," she said very, very clearly. "Don't you _dare_ blame yourself, Paul. _Don't you dare_!"

Paul's gaze darted between her eyes for a moment, the vehemence in that assertion burning brightly in her expression. Her adamant defense of him, even to his own worst enemy - himself - healed something deep and cancerous that had been growing all his life deep in his being. He leaned forward – slowly – and pressed his mouth to those pouting lips, effectively melting her indignation with his soulful gratitude.

He meant it to be a tender kiss of affection only – she was so very weak and tired - but it immediately became deep and desperate. Long, insistent movements of his lips tried to draw in the succor of her affirmation and grounding like he'd been swimming miles at sea only to crawl up upon the sanctuary of her sheltering shores.

With a groan Paul leaned in more, bringing his hands behind her head and pressing her into thick, sumptuous kisses. Instantly Bella's trembling body seemed to ignite passionately under his touch, and her fervor pushed Paul ever ardently forward as their tongues twisted. Her hands ran up his arms, memorizing the cut of his musculature until they grasped his broad shoulders, clinging to the comfort of his strength. Paul gave it to her willingly. He ached to release himself into the rushing currents of this passion and find peace in submission to its incontrovertible power, but something inside him _knew_ now was not the time.

With inhuman strength, his mouth left her lips though she whimpered in protest. He couldn't bring himself to completely pull away from her so he appeased that _need_ by tenderly exploring cheek, temple, eyelid, jaw, with moist, panting kisses that railed against his resolve. Bella's hands came up to scrape along his scalp through his hair and then she hungrily pulled his face back to hers as she again brought that delectable mouth to his. Her lips were so full, so soft, so giving. The desperate craving and yearning burning so much a part of his very soul was melting any control by the minute…

…when the wolf beside them yowled quietly.

There was something exigent in that soft lupine admonishment. Paul ripped his lips from his mate's as he turned to regard the animal, blinking at him from where it had collapsed its muzzle down to its paws. It huffed through its nose several times and whined again.

Bella turned to the animal as well and ran a dainty finger up the bridge of his nose. The wolf took that as an invitation to sit up and snuffle her hair, licking her neck with sloppy and endearing adoration.

She giggled. "He wants me to tell you where I am," she looked back at Paul with a smile still in her eyes.

Paul's gazed softened and he brought up both palms to run tenderly over her cheeks.

With a little cry, her hand came up to catch his left wrist in gentle fingers. Bringing the ruined arm down between them – and glancing intuitively to the similarly injured foreleg of the wolf – she gingerly ran her fingertips over the ropey scarring of his flesh.

"Oh, sweetie," she murmured sadly over his arm. Her hand squeezed, intuitively massaging the damaged muscles …gently, attentively, lovingly.

"_Tell me_, Bella," Paul urged, suddenly feeling the same sense of urgency as his wolf even while he submitted to the mollifying ministrations.

She did tell him though, speaking slowly and haltingly as if trying to remember a dream while her touch soothed the burning pain, relaxed and relieved the stiff, nervy tendons.

The wolf lay its muzzle on her thigh and she reached down to smooth her hand over its scarred leg while Paul asked desperate clarifying questions about whatever he could think of. The reality of it all seemed so very far away in this ethereal moment, he could barely wrap his mind around it.

Without warning the wolf suddenly sprang to its feet, looking behind it and then back at both of them with a frantic look in its yellow eyes.

Bella's shoulders slumped and she collapsed against his shoulder with an inadvertent whimper. "I have to go," she mumbled into the heat of his skin.

The wolf whined and nuzzled her shoulders, licking and snuffling over her back and pressing his nose between them anxiously.

Paul pushed the animal gently back and pulled Bella's face up to his. "No… no, babe… _please_," he entreated in a whisper.

"I love you," she murmured, tears again swimming over cheeks with sorrow.

Her tiny hands came up to his cheeks and she leaned in for a kiss that was all too fleeting while he desperately held her to him. "Close your eyes, honey," she breathed over his lips.

There was a silken compulsion in those words and he found his eyelids fluttering closed.

Frantically he blinked them back open with a choking wheeze, his whole body jerking.

Gone was the sultry tropical scene, gone was his mate and the wolf. He was back in the dim, empty Police station, spilling out of that fucking institutional chair. With a strangled groan, he met Jasper's curious gaze.

Charlie Swan looked up from his computer with barely concealed annoyance.

Panting like he had just resurfaced from near drowning, he sat up more and licked his lips, grasping the arm rest of the chair with both hands.

_Both hands?_

His gaze snapped down to his left hand, still scarred but now responsive. He brought it up curiously in front of his face and clenched and unclenched his fist experimentally. The musculature had thickened and it's movement was now agile and painless.

He gasped in shock as the chimerical pieces somehow settled perfectly together. His awestruck gaze met the two other quizzical expressions.

Blinking he licked his lips and with no introduction related: "She's leaving from the Olympia Regional Airport on a Newport private charter flight. She doesn't know where but he has them traveling under the name Andrea and Miguel Romero…"

"What? That's not the name on the credentials we got in Seattle," Jasper frowned even while he started furiously punching in keystrokes with lightning speed.

Paul shook his head. "I don't know, but that's the name he's using now. Some kind of 'EU' passport – she thinks they might be going somewhere in South America? Some place warm? She said he was pretending to have a British accent…"

"She _said_?" Swan's brow furrowed flagrant disbelief as he vaulted up out of his chair, all the stress and worry funneling into indignation and his innate distaste for Paul. "_She said?_ C'mon boy…You've been snoring like a goddamn lawn mower over there," he bit out bitterly.

"Boy?" Paul growled and stood threateningly, clenching both fists and jaw.

Jacob's chair scraped harshly against the floor and he stepped in between them. "Easy, Charlie," Jacob admonished, placing a palm on Swan's chest and wisely pushing him back from Paul. "My dad told you she's his imprint…"

"And _I told you_ I don't give a rat's ass about all your goddamn wacko gibberish..." he began, his face instantly flushing beet red.

_Rrrrriiiiinnnggg…_

Just then Swan's cell phone shrilly pealed from where it sat on the desk.

All four of them looked at it almost comically in shock. It was almost one o'clock in the morning.

On the second ring, Swan quickly picked up the phone and flipped it open. "Charlie Swan," he announced briskly.

"H-Hello? A-are y-you Chief S-Swan?" A woman's voice stammered to the man and the three other sets of supernatural ears.

"Yep, you got me," Swan quickly soothed. "How can I help you?"

She continued, sounding apologetic. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I found this note when I was doing a final check on the bathrooms at Olympia Regional."

Swan's gaze snapped up to Paul, eyes rounded in shock. "It's no bother… please…"he rejoined with hoarse desperation.

"It's from a 'Bella' and she's in some kind of trouble?"

"Thank God! Yes, thank you!" he exclaimed. "_Please_ tell me what it says…."

Charlie's eyes widened in stunned amazement while he furious scribbled down every last word, confirming what Paul had just related.

"Got it," Jasper announced even as Charlie finished thanking the woman profusely. "They're bound for Rio De Janeiro. And I know just where they're headed."

"Stop the plane," Paul snarled urgently.

Jasper shook his head slowly as he continued to scroll through computer screens. "They're already in international airspace," he growled in frustration.

"Damn, that complicates things. International law an' all," Swan shoved his hand through his hair.

"Only if you're tryin' to be lawful," Jasper tipped his head suggestively.

"How fast can you get us passports?" Paul asked quickly.

Jasper grinned. "Fast enough to have them by the time we land in SFO. I know someone who delivers."

"I know Sam wants to go," Jacob turned and met Paul's gaze. "And I think it's a good idea – he might just be able to keep you from killing your seat mate," he smirked, interjecting humor to soothe the chafing of the ominous - and very realistic - admonishment.

Paul closed his eyes and took in a deep breath through his nose and curtly nodded.

"We're flyin' charter, boys," Jasper murmured silkily. "I don't fancy getting in a tin box full of tourists and two pissed off werewolves. That sounds like a disaster just to achin' to happen."

"…and a cop," Swan bit out under his breath.

All three looked up with surprise.

Swan gave them all an incredulous look. "What? I'm _goin'_!" he announced firmly.

Jacob switched his weight to one foot. "I don't think that's such a good idea, Charlie," he began quietly.

"Jake, I've known you since you were in diapers, boy – just knee high to a grasshopper," he glared up at his towering height pointedly. "If you think I'm not gonna go after that asshole and my baby girl, you're crazier than-"

Paul interrupted. "He's coming," he grumbled tersely.

Both Swan and Jacob turned to him in blatant, open-mouthed shock.

Paul smirked impertinently at them both and shrugged a shoulder. "I know how he feels," he mumbled and then turned emphatically to Jasper. "What next?"

Charlie Swan closed his mouth with a soft pop and shook his head. "I can get us a police airlift down the coast." He eyed Paul with something that looked like it could be a reluctant and grudging appreciation.

Paul ignored him. "You two set up what you have to, Jacob, let's go debrief Sam."

Jacob tried to hide the private smile at the interplay between his dad's best friend his is best friend's mate.

Paul socked him in the shoulder anyway and the boy's smile burst into an unrepentant snicker as they made their way quickly out of the station.

Paul snorted as they jogged down the stairs.

"Okay… this has the makings of something classic, Paul." Jacob continued in his humorous spirit. Both of them were relieved to finally be actually _doing_ something. Wolves were all about action. "So a vampire, a werewolf and a cop are on a plane…" Jacob began.

"_Oh my God_," Paul groaned. "Bella's gonna have a fucking full-time job trying to keep me from killing you," he snarled as he leaped into a Phase.

'


	31. Vignette: a vampire, a werewolf & a cop

**Vignette: A vampire, a werewolf and cop on a plane…**

'

_Ten fucking hours. _

That's how long Paul had been sitting in the back of a hurtling metal fuselage trying uselessly to distract himself with pencil and paper. A thundering growl had been tumbling in his chest like a clothes dryer full of bricks for every last minute of it. His wolf didn't like being assaulted by the loud whining hum of jet engines …or annoyed by the metallic click of Charlie Swan fidgeting with his hand gun over and over…or subjected to this small confined space with no room to run – no matter how posh and elegant the jet was. This stale artificial air magnified the excruciation by recycling and thus concentrating the sickening stink of vampire rot, the sticky muskiness of human fear, and the pungent, poignant scent of escalating lupine violence.

Sam was only faring marginally better. He sat stiffly in the luxurious easy chair, as if it were lined with a bed of nails, staring intently ahead at nothing.

The well-groomed, well-bred, well-endowed stewardess that apparently came with the plane had made the mistake – once - of venturing to the back to offer them drinks but had quickly retreated with a little shriek of fear at Paul's rabid bared teeth and inarticulate snarl.

Needless to say, chartering a jet had been a wise decision.

Only Jasper sat toward the front of the cabin, legs crossed casually and body at ease as he idly thumbed through a stack of magazines as if he hadn't a care in the world.

Paul looked up from the complex geometrical designs that were appearing under his terse grip in his blind fury and glared yet again at the vampire – just out of spite.

Feeling eyes on him, Jasper looked up from the colorful slick pages on his lap and gave him an insolent knowing smirk.

Paul had pushed himself out of the chair before he knew what he was doing, throwing his body toward the front of the plane. Sam's lightning intersection stayed him with an insistent and pleading arm across his chest.

This routine was rote by now.

The scene had been replayed so many times over the course of these interminable hours that Swan simply expelled an irritated sigh – barely glancing at the wolves - as he tersely pressed the button on the old cell phone left open and ready on the flight table by his gun. He had stopped replacing the device in his pocket by the third time Paul had lunged after Jasper in less than so many hours.

Bella's frantic voice cut like a hot knife in warm butter through the noise of the plane, through Paul's frustration, through his immutable anguish: "_Dad_! Oh, God… dad… they said he's _dead_. That P-Paul's dead ...and _Jake_ too. Oh, God… but I _can_ _feel_ him…."

Paul snarled and surprised them all by simply snatching up the phone and stalking back to his seat in the rear of the plane.

Swan's eyes were still trained on him with a quirk to his lips that made his mustache look asymmetrical.

"Glad Billy thought o' that little gag," Charlie muttered dryly meeting Sam's commiserating gaze with a roll of his eyes.

Paul just irritably bared his teeth at the two men and again cut his eyes to the vampire who was just too close in scent and association to the object of his hatred at this moment in time. In this small space.

With his mate hours ahead of them.

Jasper's steady gaze was as vexingly unperturbed as always. "This is the best in-flight entertainment I've ever had," he crooned slyly. "Y'all should consider goin' professional." His lips stretched into a saccharine smile.

At Paul's answering warning growl, Charlie Swan turned and fixed Jasper with an unmistakably paternal and cop-like admonishment. "Settle down now. Don't need to go makin' this any worse."

Jasper turned and met his gaze as his lips evened out to a mischievous but good-natured smile. "It's just my rambunctious streak, Charlie. I like the boy too," he winked shrewdly. "'Reminds me a might bit of myself when I was young."

Paul watched as Swan pursed his lips and glanced back at him with an unfathomable look to his eye. Paul held his gaze for a moment and then leaned back against the headrest.

Pressing the button again on the cell phone, he expelled a long slow breath as that voice that he loved quavered in the speaker. Comforting and soothing, even through the heartbreakingly palpable fear. "…I know you don't understand... but _I love him_. I really do... Dad, _please_…"

Bella's voicemail played over and over in a continuous loop was the only thing that allowed Paul to stay sane through the remaining two hours of the flight.

But then there was the landing circles, bumpy touchdown, and the seeming interminable wait for the taxiing of the airplane to the non-commercial concourse.

Paul was ready to fucking rip off the airplane door along with the heads of anyone who even thought of stopping him.

He paced back and forth in circles in the generous cabin while Sam looked warily on. Paul cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders with an inadvertent, but very vicious, growl of frustration.

"Paul," Sam warned quietly.

Paul stopped his frenetic movement and met his Pack mate's gaze. Sam's eyes dipped meaningfully down to Paul's clenched fists. They were starting to vibrate and Paul suddenly realized just how close to Phasing he actually was.

And thinking about it just made it worse.

"Shit. I-I c-can't…I-" his stammering apology caught gutturally in his throat.

_Fuck. He was losing it._

With the explosive traumatic events that pockmarked like shrapnel his imprinting – a delicate and complex time in and of itself under the _best_ of circumstances, with the _best _of wolves – it was no wonder that Paul had reached the end of his rope. Finally.

Realizing just how tenuous the situation was, Sam inched toward him. "It's just a few more minutes," he murmured soothingly with his hands out in a desperate plead for placation.

Paul stared him down and his body unconsciously went into an aggressive crouch.

"Weelllll, Paul…"

Paul whipped around to see Charlie Swan stand from his seat with soft grunt

"Did Jake ever tell you about the time that Bells and him almost burned down his house tryin' to bake one o' their mudpies into a cake?" He shoved his pistol into his holster, looking up slowly from under his lashes and meeting Paul's gaze with a complex and … _knowing_… expression.

Paul's body froze and his wolf's focus contracted to mouth of the man before him, his lips hitched up in a sentimental smile under his mustache at the memory.

Both he and his wolf were instantly at rapt attention.

"It was one o' their grandiose plans to sell 'em and make money to catch a bus to Disney World," the man continued in an unhurried, conversational tone like he was sitting with Billy Black out on the docks waiting for fish to bite.

Not waiting to disembark from a plane to save his daughter's life from an age-crazy and perverted vampire.

Paul drew in a breath through his nose and exhaled it slowly, trying to expel his rage along with it, and focus on the story the man was telling.

"That girl a' mine was always the ringleader. Seems she convinced Jake to let her use Billy's kitchen since she knew better than to try it at home," he chuckled to himself. "I don't have to tell you that dried grass icin' and gas stoves make for an _interestin' _combination…"

Sam laughed out loud and Paul's lips quirked in an unconscious smile as he collapsed heavily into the nearest seat and leaned his head back – closing his eyes.

"You shoulda seen her after the firetruck left. Wide-eyed and wrapped in a blanket, eyebrows singed, and expression all somber and serious while Jake bawled in Billy's arms. Yeh know what she said? Her lips were trembling - she was tryin' not to let them tears spill over. She looked up at me and the only thing she said was… 'so I guess I'm not going to Disney World, huh?'"

Sam chortled again along with Jasper's sly silky chuckles.

Charlie licked his lips, "and _then_ there was the time..."

'


	32. Chapter 31  Untitled

**M**, chickadees. A violent, sexually dark and angsty M.

'

Chapter 31 - Untitled

'

Bella sat curled up in the large cushioned rattan chair overlooking tropical waters that looked black as they tossed the colors of the bruised cloudy sky back up into the sultry dusk. The palm trees had faded behind the velvet veil of evening but rustled a soothing backdrop none-the-less as birds bid their good nights in exotic but plaintive cries that echoed in the rainforests of the small private island. A light rain tapped chill bumps on the ocean, and a calming percussion over roof of the patio and a wind chime danced gaily on the wind from somewhere nearby. The waning day was balmy enough to be completely comfortable in the cotton sundress she was wearing, but cool enough that Bella's loose damp hair blowing on her shoulders like a whisper of a lover.

Such a scene could be a page out of a romance novel or a luxuriant travel journal, but in this time and this place it felt like a portentous stage for a nightmare heralding far darker things.

Bella's eyes were trained single-mindedly on the tiny blinking lights of the small fishing town _Buzios_ across the channel. She found comfort in the fact that only miles away, normal people were coming home from work, having dinner, bathing children…

…embracing their lovers.

_Ah, the everyday things that regular people took for granted. _

Bella now realized they were precious beyond compare.

She vowed to herself that if she survived this ordeal that she would _never_ allow the novel to become commonplace. She would face her fears with unadorned courage. She would relish every second of even the darkest days. She would love unconditionally with _everything_ she had. She would – no matter what - _always_ cherish those most precious gifts . Her life. Her family. Her friends.

Her mate.

_Paul. She hoped he was coming._

Deep in the marrow of her bones tingled that profound, relentless ache, the restless and voracious yearning, the soul-deep _craving_ for his touch.

It was a physical pain.

She had never understood love before Paul. Not really. She'd never really understood much of anything… even herself. She was amazed that by looking in the eyes of her perfect counterpart that she had seen her own true reflection. And had come to her Self.

The most priceless of all gifts.

And one that she was now alone with.

Just Edward and Bella had gotten in the boat in _Buzios_ - a town that smelled concurrently of fish and illicit activities -and the minute the vessel pulled away and she was alone with him, her stomach had taken a dive of such proportions that she had been surprised the it hadn't sunken right then and there.

And it was then that Bella realized just how alone she was going to be on that island.

With _him_.

Edward had made no blatant overtures – merely making sure his hand was on her person at every single second. But there was something feral in his gaze that he disturbingly didn't even try to hide.

They had docked and Edward had given her a brusque tour of the elegant and luxurious villa: white stucco accented tastefully with rich polished woods and shining blue tiles, tasteful and understated furniture and extravagant artwork, moodily lit ensconces and rustic handmade pottery. Everything about the comfortable parlor, huge dining room and gourmet kitchen was made for entertaining.

Edward's tour kept an almost frenetic pace through the house, dragging her impatiently along...

To the master suites.

Down a covered walkway that skirted a courtyard was a separate building that was what amounted to an impossibly lavish bungalow; a huge structure with a vaulted high ceiling and spacious master suite off which was a breakfast kitchen, lounging area and a bathroom the size of Bella's whole downstairs back home. The entire wall of the "cottage" (as he called it) opened to terraces and the pristine beach itself, tall colonial wooden shuddered doors drawn back and framed with filmy billowing curtains.

The focus of the entire suite was a huge four poster bed, draped with ethereal scarves that impossibly matched the ocean, and was made in soft white linen and strewn with feather pillows. Even as naïve as she was, she would have had to been blind not to see that every last architectural feature of this room was designed to cultivate… intimacy.

She had been surprised when he had then simply left her.

Inviting her to make herself comfortable he had left her with a plate of tropical fruits and sweet breads and a very inviting shower.

After half an hour of only the soothing percussion of the ocean Bella had foregone the food – suspicious of the possibility more clandestine drugs - but she had succumbed to the shower. The warm water had been rejuvenating. Emerging from the huge, custom tiled shower, feeling more relaxed than she had in a while, she found that her clothes had been removed.

From the locked bathroom.

And in their stead was a white eyelet sundress and a pair of delicate silk underpants. Bella had gulped and pulled the towel closer around her body. He had come into the room while she showered? Had he watched? Frantically she had stumbled the few steps to the vanity, where she had left Paul's drawing.

It was still there. Thank God she had taken it out of her jeans.

The creepy sense of dread returned with a vengeance as her shaking hands quickly pulled on the clothes, tucking the folded drawing over her breast. It felt like a talisman over her heart.

Something about the frock really bothered her. It was a classic tailored little thing, perhaps a little lower cut than she would choose, but something about the chaste whiteness of it felt …strange.

Purposeful.

"How do you feel, love?" that dulcet voice grated across her pensive canvas like fingernails on a chalkboard and Bella started.

She whipped around to see Edward standing in the doorway, back-lit by the soft light of the well-appointed villa; a luxurious tropical retreat that would shame the cover of the most distinguished and exclusive travel magazine.

And that now loomed behind her like the most terrifying of haunted houses. Bella wrapped her hands around her bare arms as she shivered.

"I knew you would look beautiful in that dress. Do you feel a bit better after your shower?" Edward crooned, his entranced gaze pulling him the several steps out on the lanai.

Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded with a small smile. She _was_ feeling physically a bit better – since the drugs were slowly leaching out of her system.

He sat gracefully on the padded floral footrest before her and leaned over his thighs with a patronizing smile. "Good, I'm glad. You gave me such a scare last night. It would have been unfortunate if I'd have had to Turn you on the plane," he smiled like they were sharing some private joke.

Apparently last night en route to Rio, whatever had been in the two glasses of wine he had proffered -and she had gratefully downed to still her trembling hands - had conspired with the generous cocktail of residual drugs in her system to stop her heart. Edward credited his own attempts at resuscitation for her survival.

Bella imputed her recovery to something even more unbelievable.

_Paul. _

That dream had seemed too real to be some fancy her mind had concocted when there was simply too little left of hope to hold onto.

"Are you ready to come inside, Isabella?" he asked quietly as he reached out a hand and pushed her loose hair behind her ear. There was an undertone of something suggestive in that seemingly innocent question.

'_Bella_…'

Bella's body shot up as her head whipped searchingly around her at the sound of her lover's voice as clear as his whisper in her ear. But she and Edward were alone on the patio, shadows dancing with the sound of the pounding surf and tittering rain.

'_We're coming.' _

Paul's voice again rang clear and true as Bella's eyes widened and her whole body shook as adrenaline raced through her veins.

"What's wrong love? Are you ill?" Edward's brow dipped in concern as his gaze swept her face.

Bella swallowed quickly. "N-no. I'm just… ah…"

'_From Buzios. Soon. Distraction.'_

Again that familiar but ephemeral voice wove it's broken words through her mind like a dream.

Edward was still staring at her with rising worry, waiting for her answer. That warm soothing voice…those cold searching eyes, their confluence gave Bella a roiling sense of vertigo.

She collapsed back against the chair and tried to slow her rapid heartbeat as anxiety– and hope – charged through her. "No, everything's fine," she breathed. "I-I… just got dizzy for a moment, that's all."

Edward looked skeptical. "Are you sure-"

Bella stood up quickly, ignoring the lightheaded rolling of the ground under her feet. "Yes I'm fine," Bella's assertion sounded a little more snappy than she intended. She softened her voice and her lips curved into a feeble smile. "Let's go inside."

Edward stood immediately, all concern instantly evaporating into an expression of …anticipation.

Bella promptly turned on her heel and strode purposefully into the villa without another word.

Once inside, her steps slowed of their own accord. The intimation of the intimacy of the suite could no longer be called _subtle_: now long tapered candle sticks rose up off counters and tables, on the floor beside the bed and in the ensconces, lighting the rooms softly with an gentle, undulating glow. When had he done this? She spun once around the room with her mouth agape.

"Ah, you look so lovely by candlelight, love," Edward murmured silkily and Bella's gaze snapped to where he lounged indolently against the wall, surveying her possessively.

"When did you-… how…" Bella stammered as she blinked furiously, willing her brain to jumpstart itself. She had to be clever about this. Edward would _hear_ them coming if she didn't provide a good enough distraction, and then… who knew? This was her only chance.

"I thought it only appropriate for our first real night together, Isabella," he crooned as he pushed off the wall and took slow graceful steps toward her, his face dreamy and entranced. "Would you like some wine?"

Bella hitched a shoulder to her ear and nodded. He smiled and smoothly turned his trajectory to the semi circle of low, over-stuffed couches ringing and the bottle of wine chilling on the table.

Bella sat uncomfortably down and watched as he uncorked and poured a honey-colored liquor that seemed to glow with the diffuse light of the room.

Bella took the elegant tapered glass and brought it to her lips as Edward sat beside her and watched her take several generous, steeling swallows. Bella's eyes fell to her lap along with the glass.

Edwards hand came up to push her hair back over her shoulder, and she rounded her shoulders uneasily. His cool smooth touch lingered to ghost up the side of her neck, following her jaw to her chin. He carefully tipped her face up to him.

"Our first night together alone, my love," he whispered breathily as his sparkling eyes washed leisurely over her face.

Bella's eyes darted between his intense regard and she swallowed and tried to curve her lips into a smile. This was the Edward she remembered. When he got what he want he was alluringly charming. And the simpering desperate school girl she had been – starving for attention and validation - she had given him exactly what he wanted. Hung on his every word, accommodated his every wish gladly, adapted to and accepted without question every demand. She had poured herself willingly into the mold he had created.

She wasn't that person anymore. She didn't even know if she could pretend to be.

"Tonight…" he scooted toward her until his leg was touching hers, so close she could feel his cool fragrant breath over her face. "Tonight, I thought we might simply enjoy each other's company."

Bella's gaze darted between his eyes as she pulled a corner of her lip into her mouth.

Edward's eyes were hypnotic as his alabaster hand traveled from her chin to brush the backs of his knuckles over her cheekbones. She felt her breath hitch and slow as a flush rose to her cheeks.

Shaking her head she scooted back an inch. "E-Edward… I n-need some time," she stammered her words over a tongue that had suddenly gone dry. She used the excuse of taking another gulp of her wine to gain another few inches of physical space. "Maybe we could talk about our plans. Like… when are you going to Turn me?"

He smiled his crooked smile and tipped his head. "You still want that, don't you?" he asked – with the air of a rhetorical question.

Bella nodded timidly, nervously twisting the wine glass around in her hands.

His face melted into a gentle and sentimental smile – that didn't reach his eyes. "Well, we have time, Isabella. Nothing but time," he scooted again toward her and ran both hands over her shoulders and down her bare arms, raising chill bumps with his cool marble touch. "_But tonight_, we can simply _enjoy_ each other… to the tune of the murmuring waves, the whispering rain, the gentle breeze of the tropics. Such things were made for warm, soft skin, my love. This place was made for _touching_, and I've denied us both the pleasure of such things for far too long," he breathed as he brought up a hand to the strap of her dress. Eyes intense, he watched his long finger trace over the hollow of her throat and to follow the plunging neckline of the dress.

Bella winced at the grazing touch touch over her breast.

"What's this?" he said suddenly.

Bella sucked in an involuntary breath. _Oh no._

Looking up with suspicious eyes, he pulled the edge of the paper out of the dress.

"It-it's n-nothing!" Bella grabbed desperately for it, but he yanked it out of her grasp.

Edward sat back and eyed her with a furrowed brow and then he unfolded the worn piece of paper. As the image was revealed, his fingers slowed until they froze.

Silence.

The hushed evening rains sighed over the yawning groan of the ocean while the wind chime seemed to stutter between two notes for a measure.

Edward looked back up at Bella with hard, balking eyes set in a stony expression. He seemed to gather himself for a moment and then he licked his lips. With precise exacting movements he leaned over and placed the paper on the table beside the wine and then straightened back up jerkily.

"Isabella, you know that he's dead. And it's a good thi-"

"_No_!" Bella pushed suddenly off the couch."No! He's _not_ dead!" She stumbled back a few steps dropping her wine glass on the thick rug as she tripped caught herself against the armrest.

Edward unfolded himself serenely off the couch. "It doesn't matter, love. None of this matters. You were never _his_ to begin with. And he isn't the one who _loves_ yo-"

"He's MINE!" she nearly snarled as she steadied herself and straightened. "Even if he _was_ dead… I _love_ him! _I don't want this_, Edward." She gestured wildly around her in an arc that included himself. "I can't do this! I can't… and I _won't_!"

Edward's face was frozen in abject shock.

The wash of adrenaline receded leaving her panting, her heart going a million miles a minute as her eyes darted wildly around the room. So much for playing this smart, some part of her chastised herself. But a larger, deeper, _authentic_ part of herself purred in contentment. Paul was her mate… _hers_. And she wasn't going to let _anyone_ take that from her. She just didn't have it in her to play this game.

After processing all of this, her gaze snapped back to Edward who was watching her carefully, his face an unreadable mask.

"Isabella…" He began with a maddeningly patronizing tone as if she were a child throwing a tantrum.

"No, just _Bella_," she corrected tersely, squaring her shoulders.

His lips curved into a condescending smile. "Bella is too plain for you, darling. That is who you _were_…" he gestured dismissively to the drawing on the table. "_Isabella_," he rolled the name off his tongue with a foreign lilt. "Suits you far better."

Bella scowled. "Don't you _get it_? I _am_ plain. I'm _just Bella_!" She pushed her hand through her hair in frustration as her gaze swept the floor. "I've been trying to be someone else for so long that I forgot who I am!" The validity of those words stoked her courage, and she pulled her shoulders straighter. "I _can't_ be the person you want me to be. This is _not me_! This is not what I _want_! You're not what I want!"

Edward's expression hardened in instant severity, his eyes glinting with an intensity that made Bella freeze. She took a step back.

She had gone too far. Bella was far to drained to play such a delicate game. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. Her only hope was that she was succeeding in being a distraction. Because she had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that the rest of his was not going to go well. Not at all. _Damn_.

Edward swallowed thickly, his brow a straight line of barely tempered fury. "After _all I've done_ for you, you'd refuse me?"

A strident ring shattered the evening making Bella jump and suck in a sharp breath of surprise.

At the sound, Edward's face went darkly livid.

It was such a unexpected and extreme change that Bella's heart stuttered. "What?" she cried softly. "What is it, Edward?"

Edward pressed his lips together as he flared his nostrils in rage before he pulled out the cell phone in his pocket. "There is only _one_ person who has this number, and there is only _one_ reason he'd be using it," he ground out through gritted teeth.

Wide-eyed and confused, Bella twisted her hands in the white eyelet of the dress as she watched him flip open the surprisingly cheap-looking phone. She idly realized it was "disposable" phone, and not his normal top-of-the line model.

"Fala. O que aconteceu?" Portuguese rippled fluidly from his lips.

Bella rubbed her palms on her dress nervously as she took the opportunity to take several more steps back away from him. His gaze snapped fiercely to her and she froze again.

"Dá um jeito nisso! Não importa como," he spat out with a ruthless vehemence easily understandable in any language. He pressed the button abruptly and then slowly lowered the phone to his side.

He glared at Bella with undisguised spite.

"What?" Bella's voice squeaked.

Edward's lips peeled back in a parody of a smile. "That was the man I hired in _Buzios_ as just a little …added _insurance_. And it appears to have been a wise decision. It seems you have visitors, darling," he hissed contemptuously.

Bella's breath caught in her throat.

Edward chuckled darkly. "Don't worry, love. Your neanderthal brutes will be treated to nothing but the _finest_ in Brazilian _hospitality_," his teeth bared briefly in unapologetic menace.

Bella swallowed the bile rising in her throat. Her voice rasped low and tight in her throat. "They can't get hurt by…"

"You think they'll be able to stand against a heavily armed Rio drug _grupo_?" Edward interrupted dismissively. "I hardly think two teenage werewolves and a cop will be a match for sub-machine guns, darling. Money down here buys _only the very best_," he smirked with an oily sarcasm.

Bella's mouth popped open in shock. Swallowing thickly, she wheezed, "…a c-cop?"

His lips curved. "It seems your father has joined the canine cavalry," he winked mockingly.

Bella's shoulders caved as her knees buckled in abject horror. "_Oh, no_," she gasped as sobs rose to fill the instant sucking vacuum in her chest.

_Paul_… probably _Jake_… and _her father too_. They had all come for her – risked their lives – and now…

"_No_," she whimpered and then looked up with desperation, her eyes desperately pleading. "NO! PLEASE!" She took a petitioning step forward, "Take _me_. Turn me… Please! _Anything_! Just _call them off_!" she cried as tears punctuated her frantic entreaty, charging over her cheeks.

Edward cocked his head and his lips twisted into a spurious wry smile. "Too late," he quipped flippantly. "And the only way they would be here _at all_ so soon with the extra precautions I took is if you had found some way to betray me. _Betray_ _us_. Very clever of you, you will have to tell me how you did it sometime. It seems it was _them_ you betrayed after all, so I suppose I can't be too cross, eh darling?"

Bella brought her fist to smother mouth as her sobs silently shook her body.

"But, never the less," his voice smoothed out into a thin whisper. "I do think I'll take you up on your offer," he leered and Bella looked up just in time to see him snatch the drawing off the table. "And really darling, you should thank me." He took slow steps towards her holding the piece of paper up tauntingly. "When I would take you back and give you all that you wanted after you spread your legs like some libidinous _whore_ for that lascivious …" He tore the drawing in two.

"**NO**!" Bella mindlessly screamed.

"…barbaric…" And then shredded it in a frenetic blur. "_…__animal_!"

He bared his teeth cruelly in the face of her wails as the scraps of paper fluttered to the ground like autumn leaves.

Trying to rein in her convulsing sobs, Bella staggered back as he took stalked toward her.

"Paul is more _decent_… more _giving_… more _human_ than you'll ever be!" she screamed.

Edward threw his head back with a harsh throaty laugh. He seemed to draw himself up several inches as he tipped his head back down to skewer her with his derision. "Decent?" He laughed again, a coarse, dark sound like ground pepper.

"You have the _gall_ to talk to me of decency when you come to the very battle for your life wantonly reeking of your promiscuous carnal activities?" he bit out, taking several menacing steps toward her, his body vibrating with danger.

"I denied myself for a _century_… For a century! I forsook my _own_ pleasure… I sacrificed my _own_ gratification for all these years and I fought to restrain myself… to preserve _your_ honor! Little did I know you were just a salacious bitch in heat and there was no hope in _hell_ for your soul." He laughed a dark hissing chuckle of disgust. "The stench of his fresh seed permeated your pores, and _still_ I fought for your life. _Still_ I took you back, offering you a life and future and love –"

"**THIS ISN'T LOVE!"** Bella screamed so fiercely it gouged her throat. "And _it never was_! You want to _control_ someone, not _accept_ them! You want to _own_ someone, not _love_ them! YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF LOVE!"

Edward's eyes narrowed into slits, his breath coming harshly through his nose, his lips lifted into a sneer. "You deceived me," his voice came in a frightening, breathy singsong whine. "All these years. All these years I denied myself… for _you_. These last few months I have not had a moment's respite from wanting of your love… and now you deny me?"

Adrenaline charged through Bella's veins, razing her sobs to cold hard terror in the pit of her stomach. Bella continued to back away from his prowl, glancing over her shoulder toward the kitchen.

Edward took a deep breath and took slow, purposeful steps after her, pursing his lips as if he were contemplating where to begin. He clicked his tongue. "Now, I _know_ you're not shy, Isabella.."

Bella eyed a long brass candlestick mere feet away on the counter.

Edward's eyes flitted to the candle and then snapped back to her with a shrewd and daring lift to his brow.

Bella lunged and grabbed it up, brandishing it before her. "Get away from me," she warned hoarsely.

Edward merely shook his head tauntingly as he clucked his tongue.

Bella's survival instincts wouldn't allow her to even _consider_ how futile her paltry courage was. She wasn't going down without a fight

"I'm _warning_ you," Bella ground out.

Edward continued his patient stalk.

Bella's heart was in her throat, panic making it so her limbs felt heavy and numb.

Edward took another step toward her, and – with no hesitation - Bella hauled the weapon back like a baseball bat and swung it viciously with all of her might, putting her whole body into it.

Faster than her eyes could follow, Edward effortlessly caught the blow in mid-air, the metallic clang against his marble hand reverberating through Bella's body painfully. He facilely wrenched it from her grip, making her stumble forward and her wrist twist with a shooting pain.

"Now, now, darling. Let's not be like that,," his murmured cold and pitiless in her ear as he lithely caught her wrist to keep her from stumbling to the ground.

Running on instinct and panic, Bella twisted her body and punched him with everything she had in the face. Bones in her hand audibly snapped against the impact of his marble jaw.

He didn't even blink.

Edward's eyes glittered with callous amusement. "Poor darling," he crooned tauntingly.

Screeching senselessly, Bella somehow wrenched her wrist out of his grasp and scrabbled away, tripping blindly on the candlestick. Unsteady in her unbridled panic, she stumbled catching herself on the counter.

Instantly Edward was behind her, his arms wrapping around her like steel cables. His body pressed against hers suggestively as he buried his face in her hair. He inhaled a long draw and let it out with at rapturous sigh. "So very sweet, Isabella. So delectably sweet," he murmured.

Bella uselessly struggled in his grip.

"I _want_ what's _mine_," his breath rasped rough and nasty like stale coffee grinds. His body vibrated against her for several breaths.

"How did he do it, Isabella?" he pressed his face into her shoulder as one hand smoothed down her hips with an inattentive bruising strength to clasp her hips and press her against his repulsive erection. "Did he _fuck_ you like a dog?" With those crass words he bent her over more with the weight of his body, kicking one of her legs to the side so he could press his hips into her crotch from behind. "Did you _like_ it like that, darling?" he thrust against her several times as a low lecherous moan pooled like black runoff over her neck.

He was squeezing Bella so hard she hadn't the breath to cry out. "No-p-please!" came her desperate and strangled wheeze.

"Now, there. Hush, love," he murmured with a burlesque softness as instantly, she was turned back around in his grip. "I'm not like him," his eyes darted over her face as his lips curved in a slow, lewd smirk.

Bella was bankrupt. Emotionally, physically… and something more. But she was NOT going to stop fighting until every last ounce of _anything_ had fled.

And she still had some in her, goddamn it.

She couldn't move in his grasp, her hand was broken, her body bruised. So she did the only thing she could. She hauled off and spat at him. And she was giddily surprised to see she how much her skill had improved since the last time. Cry-induced mucous-y spittle generously splattered Edward's face and his eyes rounded in shock.

Releasing her, Edward took a step back wiping at his face in bewildered astonishment. And then, in a blur of movement, he drew his hand back and slapped her.

So hard she went flying across the floor.

Bella's vision momentarily blackened as, panting with desperation, she blindly scrambled to her feet using her one sprained but functional hand.

It was almost as if the physical pain revitalized her from the emotional battery and she drew in a deep breath. She wasn't through yet.

"Finally you have _something_ right," she hissed through her teeth with the agony as she struggled to stand, swaying as she shook her head to clear her tunneled vision.

_You_," She looked him dead in the eye with the courage of abject hopelessness. "You're _nothing_ like him," she bit out in a disparaging whisper.

Like lightning she was thrown back painfully against the wall, Edward's body pressing against hers.

Stunned from the suddenness of the movement, she tried to catch her breath as her eyes rolled in her head.

Edward's face was inches from her, his eyes raking over her with unconcealed covetousness.

"N-No-" her strangled refusal was smothered. Cold and unyielding, his mouth pressed against her impassive lips.

"Kiss me, Isabella," he murmured into her mouth. His tongue pressed roughly between her lips and twisted sickeningly, curving up to draw an icy line across the roof of her mouth.

Bella gagged and wretched, her body involuntarily spasming, trying to expel him.

Tearing his mouth from hers, Edward's eyes were wild and wide. His tongue darted out to lick his lips zealously as he picked her up of her feet.

Bella choked on her sobs, her frenetic gasping pants laced with shrieks as she vainly tried to buck against his iron grip with every last ounce of her strength.

"I've been waiting for this moment, Isabella. Oh, how I've longed for this moment," he whispered, crazed lust consuming his burning gaze. Biting his lip as one hand came around to yank her leg up to his hip, he pressed into her crotch with his throbbing desire. Moaning throatily, his other hand came down to pull down her sundress from a breast while his hand roughly kneaded it.

"So very beautiful," he sighed as his mouth lowered to her chest.

The shock of his unwanted cold mouth on her nipple made her throw her head back into the wall with a shriek. She screamed senselessly, her own voice strangely deaf to her ears, but the words scraping her throat raw.

"BE QUIET!" Edward suddenly boomed.

Bella froze and opened her eyes to find him frowning with aggravation.

A hand came up to violently clench her bruised jaw as he tilted her face more towards his.

Bella whimpered with the searing pain.

His eyes bored into hers with an inexorable subjugation. Bella's breath caught in her throat.

"I would thank you not to ruin it for me with your squawking," he chastised peevishly.

His enthralling gaze felt like white hot metal rods shoved into her eye sockets. Her mouth opened soundlessly with her labored pants, like a fish on dry land.

"Much better, darling." With a quick nod of approval Edward continued to run his hands, callous and possessive, over every inch of her body – running down her hips, up her inner thighs, over her crotch with no thought to anything but violation and his own pleasure. Edward's hips began to press into her with an insistent prurient rhythm as vile carnal grunts punctuated each thrust.

She felt her sanity's last thread pop, undoing her finally with the fluttering sensation of an unraveling sweater. She had nothing left to scream – even if she had been physically able to do so. Her mind tried to protect itself by shutting down, by distancing herself from something that was too horrifying to even comprehend and -like falling down a rabbit hole – her world contracted to her light rapid pants.

And Bella went numb.

Idly she felt Edward's lips pressing over her collarbone, following the hollow of her throat up to her pulse, suckling ardently all the way. A forgotten ember emblazoned in a spark of indignation– he was purposefully marking her over the shadows of her lover's lips.

She flailed uselessly, more just a wheeze in her chest, as Edward's lips latched over her now sluggish pulse. There he suckled, while his hands continued to brazenly roam.

And then she felt it.

His razor sharp teeth pierced her skin, juicily, easily, like a peach in summer. With a long low groan of rapture, Edward's mouth pressed fervidly against her neck. His entire body jerked and shuddered and Bella felt a repulsive cold wetness spread tellingly over her hipbone.

His body stilled in ecstasy while his lips changed their rhythm against her skin to slow drawing pulls, like a starving babe suckling at the breast. The soft grunting sounds of Edwards gulping swallows quivered in her ear as she felt her life being coaxed the wrong way through her veins.

A lulling warmth wrapped Bella's body – slick and unnatural like polyester – but even still...

Bella stopped struggling.

Gasping against her neck through his nose, Edward again began rhythmic movements with his hips.

Bella was hardly concerned with the sound of the silk panties rending, barely aware of the hard body repositioning itself against her, unconcerned with the snarl of a zipper …

But when a savagely murderous roar violently cleaved the night like thunder followed by a sultry breeze caressing her body where before only the cold brutal hardness had been...

Bella's eyes blearily opened.

Gaze swimming, Bella stared blankly at the lightning tumble of hissing white limbs and snarling grey fur, crushing furniture and caving walls in a frenetic melee ...

...as she slithered down the wall and into the bliss of nothingness.

At last.

'


	33. Chapter 32  Human

_**A/N:**_

_Many, many thanks to _Mizita_ who has so very kindly saved me from BabelFish/internet translation hell! She translated the Brazilian Portuguese in the last chapter and this one. I speak languages other than my paltry English, but unfortunately not Portuguese. And I do so hate shoddy language work. _

_Again Buzios is a place, but a very nice place. I have fictionalized it here the same as I plopped a Home Depot down in Forks. _

_A violent and generally gross _M_, chickadees._

'

**32-Human**

'

Sam leaned against the wall of the modern, well-lit reception area and watched as Paul paced, his pencil swiveling between his two fingers at the frenetic pace of a propeller, his eyes trained sharply on the scene taking place at the white marble counter. It was obvious his Pack mate was seriously contemplating simply stabbing the drawing implement through the face of the sexy receptionist who was patently flirting with Jasper as he completed the rental car transaction. The vampire had better hurry his ass up.

"_Jasper_." Paul pushed the growl through his teeth, in warning.

The vampire didn't even acknowledge that he had spoken but offered the girl behind the counter a blinding smile. "Well darlin' if that about does it, we'd better get ourselves out on the road," he smoothly interrupted her attempts to pull him into a discussion about exclusive attractions to be experienced in Rio.

As Jasper turned around with a knowing roll to his eyes, he hit the map against the heel of his hand. Paul huffed and without word or hesitation strode toward the door of the high-end rental company.

With a raise to his eyebrows, Sam pushed off the wall and jerked his chin meaningfully at Charlie Swan who was sitting ramrod straight and looking uncomfortably out of place on the white leather couch in the waiting area. Sam was also feeling distinctly like a fish out of water in this world of opulent extravagance, a fact that wouldn't have bothered him much except that they were in the middle of executing an operation that would have been exacting and foolishly ambitious under the very best of circumstances. Feeling like an ignorant country bumpkin in a place where they neither knew the language or the rules just put them further at a tactical disadvantage.

The men spilled out to the portico where subdued elevator music was piped around the potted palm trees and the granite columns. The sound of an 8-cylinder engine heralded the sleek black Mercedes e63 AMG pulling up to the curb.

"Jesus," Charlie whistled appreciatively, exchanging wide-eyed looks with Sam.

Jasper turned to them with his lips tilted in a pompous half-smile. "These babies drive like a dream. Money _can_ be good f'somethin'."

Paul was already stalking around to the driver's side, pushing roughly past the attendant who had emerged from the car. "It's fast, that's all I care about. I'm driving," he hissed.

Jasper stepped off the curb as he stuffed several bills in the young attendant's fist. "Say, why don't I drive. No offense, but you don't know the way an' I don't fancy having to play the part of GPS."

Paul looked up with his signature smirk, the opposite eyebrow lifted in amusement. "That _is_ a map in your hand, isn't it?" He didn't give Jasper the time to answer, but simply plucked it impertinently from his fingers.

Jasper spluttered, "I thought you wanted _fast_. Hardly think strugglin' with a map in your lap's gonna get us there..." he let his words die on his lips as the wolf quickly spread the map out on the hood of the car.

"Where are we?" Paul asked tersely, his eyes washing intently over the detailed map of Rio.

Jasper stepped beside him and tapped a finger down. "Here."

Paul nodded. "Where are we going?"

Flipping the paper over to the broader – and very daunting - map of the region. "Here," he smirked saucily tapping the coastal town of Buzios, obviously expecting Paul to hedge in his aplomb.

Paul merely nodded again and turned the map back over, running his eyes over the city again. "Is it best to take this Ave Justo-thing?" he murmured under his breath.

Jasper narrowed his eyes and frowned. "Yes, but damn, you really should let-"

Recklessly balling up the map in a crumpled wad in his fist, he shoved it roughly in Jasper's chest. "Let's go."

Jasper looked incredulously over the car at Sam and Charlie who were silently watching the interchange. Sam gave him a cheeky grin – he loved seeing that maddeningly nonchalant vampire daunted by his Pack mate. If there was one thing Paul excelled at (and thankfully there wasn't just one) it was riling up and pissing off anyone who happened to have a good ole Y chromosome.

Paul was already in the driver's seat starting the engine. "You guys coming or what?" he gunned it, drowning his own growl in the purr of the high-performance engine.

"Why don't you sit in the front, so you can give him directions," Charlie drawled, ducking quickly into the back seat and casting a worried and hopeful glance toward Sam.

Sam chuckled and jogged around to the other side, meeting Jasper's knowing and humorous gaze. It was obvious the man figured sitting in the back with Sam was the best lot he could draw – considering the other two options.

Sam had his hand on the door to pull it closed, when Paul peeled out.

Jasper cut his eyes over to the man who was leaned casually back in the seat, his arm resting on the side of the door looking more like he was out for a Sunday drive, than driving through a foreign city on an urgent mission to rescue his mate. The man shifted the transmission fluently and pulled efficiently out onto the streets.

"Alright, you wanna make a right on-"

"Inf-Dee Henreequaw," Paul provided tersely.

Jasper laughed. "Avenida Inf-d. Henrique," he corrected rolling the Portuguese fluidly off his tongue.

"That's what I said," Paul snorted darkly, his lips hitching up on one side as he wove dexterously aggressive through the traffic.

"And a little further…" Jasper began eying the man assessingly.

"Gen. Justo," Paul sighed. "Then da Perimetral… then Costa E Silva… then- Are you fucking gonna make me recite the whole goddamn route?" Paul snarled rabidly as he yanked the wheel, swerving agile and reckless around a slow truck.

Jasper caught himself against the door, his gaze turned completely to run over the man beside him in bewildered and grudging concession. "Photographic memory?" he guessed with a tilt to his head.

"Yep," Paul popped the "P" and deftly veered between two cars, darting out masterfully into faster traffic.

"Well aren't you the enigma?" Jasper laughed heartily, leaning his head back against the seat and readjusting his limbs.

Paul growled in response as he slalomed through traffic at breakneck speeds. "Don't get too comfortable, _Cullen_," he spat meaningfully.

Jasper's lips stretched into a smile. "Technically I'm not a _Cullen_, but a _Hale_," he murmured silkily.

Paul's head whipped around with a wicked grin, seemingly unconcerned with the road or the speed of his vehicle. "_Hell_? What a fucking awesome name for you."

"_Hale_," Jasper repeated urbanely, even though he knew Paul was merely yanking his chain.

Paul's brows lifted. "My bad," he chuckled darkly. Returning his eyes to the road, he careened between two trucks before dashing out assertively in front of a Porsche.

"How long till we get there?" Charlie called out hoarsely from the back of the car.

Jasper's eyes glanced at him in the rear view mirror. The man's face was white as a sheet, both arms braced against Paul's unapologetically aggressive driving.

"Well normally it's jus' a little under three hours." He glanced at Paul and then turned completely around in his seat. "The way that boy drives, I'd say we'll make it in two."

'

'

They indeed arrived just after dusk in the fishing town of Buzios in just under two hours. Charlie felt permanently plastered to the back of the sedan, his whole body sore and stiff from bracing against the sides of the vehicle.

Paul surely navigated through the quaint streets of the small seaside town - at a slightly less breakneck speed -as if he had been doing so all his life.

"The docks?" He asked Jasper out of the side of his mouth.

"Yeah, you know how to get there," he answered back dryly. Jasper turned to the back of the car as Charlie picked his head up off the seat expectantly. "Now I don't anticipate havin' too much of a fuss down here, but let me do the talkin'. We gotta get us a boat. Isle Esme is only about ten ta fifteen from dock to dock."

Charlie nodded brusquely and his hand moved unconsciously to rest on his handgun.

"Don't think you'll be needin' that, Chief," Jasper gave him a patronizing smile.

Charlie harrumphed. "Never can tell." Truthfully Charlie doubted he'd be needing it either – what with the company he was keeping and all – but it did give him just a little bit of confidence and comfort all the same. And he could use every bit of that he could get. Charlie had never once been out of the States his entire life. Even to Canada. He wouldn't have chosen his first international foray to have such high stakes.

The Mercedes' wheels crunched on the gravel of the near empty parking. Paul rolled them toward where shop lights were hung over battered wooden docks and several fishermen were packing up their wares and swigging down beers amid animated conversation.

Stopping the car and jerking up the parking brake, Paul unpredictably leaned back in his seat for a moment and closed his eyes.

All three other men, turned to look at him quizzically.

Paul's lips moved over silent words.

"Didn't take _you_ for the prayin' type," Charlie snorted as he opened his door.

Paul's eyes opened and glowered at Charlie in the rearview mirror. "I'm trying to tell her we're coming. 'See if she can distract him so he doesn't hear us when we get close."

"Huh?" Charlie paused with one leg out the door.

"Edward reads minds," Sam provided. "And _sometimes_ Bella can read Paul's – their bond?"

"Oh, _right_." Charlie rolled his eyes, wisely declining to comment. This whole situation was like something out of a comic book. "So, did it work?"

"Dunno," Paul mumbled under his breath as he got out of the car.

Sam pulled out their single duffle bag – containing several changes of shorts – from the trunk and they waited by the Mercedes while Jasper approached the dockworkers.

The fishermen's voices carried on the balmy tropical breeze, their anonymous liquid Portuguese rippling like water. They pointed down shore and Jasper nodded, turning back to his three waiting cronies and jerking his chin.

Paul, Sam and Charlie caught up with him as he walked with as much haste as possible – without looking suspicious or desperate - down the docks. As they approached, Jasper mumbled unhappily, "They said there's just one place that will rent to Americans right now."

"And…?" Paul pressed, sensing the other's reticence.

"And …I dunno. They tasted of _fear_," he hissed.

Sam nodded, squaring his shoulders. "Think there's gonna be trouble?"

"Maybe," was all Jasper replied.

Tension now in all four men's strides, they made their way to the small boat house that sat at the end of one of the larger piers. The driving 808 bass of Latin hip-hop played through car speakers vibrated through Charlie's chest. His gaze took in the tough looking group of young men lounging outside leaning against several pimped up cars smoking and drinking. Charlie's cop instinct instantly zeroed in on the telltale scent of pot on the breeze.

As they neared, the men visibly tensed, a large tattooed man stepping forward to greet them.

Jasper motioned the other three back. ""Nós gostaríamos de alugar um barco," Portuguese spilled fluently from his lips.

The swarthy man - his long hair pulled back under a bandana – glanced meaningfully back at his friends. "American?" he asked.

Jasper nodded.

"Não vai sair de graçe," the man replied with a sneer.

Jasper smiled patronizingly. "A gente paga o que você quiser," he assured.

"Tiago!" the man yelled over his shoulder. "Vá chamar o Simão que tem gente querendo um barco."

Jasper turned around and returned to the group. "They're bringing the boat around. But I don't like the feel of this one bit," he muttered.

"You! Come!" the man in the bandana called after a moment, motioning them forward as he lowered a cell phone from his ear. "Come to the docks," he said with heavily accented English.

Charlie saw Paul raise his eyebrows toward Sam in a subtle gesture of deference.

"Nope. I don't like this," Sam replied to the unspoken question. "They're trying to cut off our escape routes. Cornering us," he murmured ominously to the group.

Jasper looked at him sharply, and then glanced over to Paul.

"Sam's got a sixth sense about this shit," Paul nodded in agreement. "Swan?" Paul turned to where the Charlie was trailing, taking in the entire scene meticulously. It might be a different country, but Charlie had spent a decade around such men as were staring at them with subtle menace. "Hang tight and get ready. There's gonna be trouble."

Charlie nodded succinctly, casually remarking on the aggressive stance of the other young men. Five. There were five of them.

To no cue that Charlie's human senses could discern, the two wolves and vampire whipped around as one.

The screech of tires in the distance heralded four additional men rushing them from the shadows of the small wooden building, wielding black H&K MP5s on their forearms that glimmered in the dusk. Simultaneously the five men who were standing near them pulled out firearms and cocked them with a trill of clicks.

"_Fuck_," Paul spat.

In one frighteningly fast movement Charlie was being grabbed from behind by his collar and pants, and jerked off his feet. Paul launched him effortlessly into a pile of boxes to the side. "Stay down!" he bellowed and in the next breath the boy fearlessly phased into the spray of automatic gunfire.

Groaning in pain, Charlie quickly pushed up out of the broken wooden crates and debris to see a giant gray wolf tearing the arm off a man whose face was contorted in an expression of utter terror. The animal eerily contracted into a lithe muscled shape as Paul's elbow slammed into his face, silencing the man's scream as he grabbed up the weapon and shot a spray of bullets across the group of men who were frozen in various states of shock.

The screech of tires skidded to a deafening halt as the sound of automatic gunfire hemmed the night like a jackhammer.

But Charlie's eyes were frozen on Paul. Leaping into a round-house kick the boy felled one of the wounded men and then turned to sock another in the gut with a lightning fist. With a deft flip he dodged a vicious blow of one of his attackers, landing on four paws behind the aggressor and crushing his shoulders in snarling jaws.

Charlie's gaze then whipped to where Jasper and another huge brown wolf were charging the black SUV, the doors opened to reveal another half a dozen assailants wielding various heavy artillery aimed at the fearless two. The beast landed on the hood of the vehicle with a thunderous crash and then shattered the windshield with its forepaws before reaching in and ripping out the driver with snarling fangs and beheading him with a juicy snap.

Moving too fast for the human eye to follow, Jasper was suddenly at the door of the van, snatching a man with each hand and yanking them out the side door. Erratic gunfire erupted as he threw each of the brawny brutes into the air and caught their necks under each arm on the way back down. With a jerk of his body, and a sickening snap, they slithered lifelessly to the ground.

Charlie pushed off the ground, drawing his gun as his whole body trembled. He watched the brown wolf clawing at the truck, dragging a screaming man out by the leg and then silencing him with his giant maw, gouging the man's face repulsively off in a grisly spray of blood.

Charlie turned back to where Paul was making quick work of the men by the boat shack, alternately exploding in fur to maul with tooth and claw and then congealing into his equally lethal human form to pummel his opponents so hard that a fine mist of blood ghosted each hit.

It was no more than two minutes of unbridled brutality, before the mutilated bodies of more than fifteen men lay silent in heaps of twisted limbs. Charlie counted quickly, by force of habit. There were two men from the docks that were missing. His keen gaze scanned the area.

Paul's shoulders were heaving, his skin slick and glistening with grisly blood – some of it no doubt his own. Charlie knew he had at least been hit by a bullet or two when they first attacked – he had been in front of them all. Charlie took several steps toward him, trying to assess the damage.

Paul turned and met his gaze. "You okay?" he growled, as his hand unconsciously clapped over what must be a wounded bicep.

"Am _I_ okay?" Charlie balked, a high maniacal sound from shock at the frightening lethality that his comrades had showcased. "What about _you_?"

The other man nodded curtly, taking several wincing steps toward where his colleagues were finishing the job at the SUV. "Injuries?" he barked toward them.

The brown wolf condensed into the form of Sam where he was hunched over a corpse on the ground. "Nope. You took a few bullets though, huh? You okay?"

"Yep, 'just went on through," Paul grimaced.

There was a small niggling feeling at the back of Charlie's mind. The hairs on his neck were prickling with a vengeance. His gaze swept the scene again while Paul quickly grabbed up the bag Sam had thrown to the ground and pulled out a pair of shorts. A misting drizzle at some point had begun tapping against them all, giving a ephemeral softness to the grim scene.

Then Charlie saw it. A telltale flicker of movement in the dark window of the building, another slip of shadow by the wall. Blinking in the dim light he took another step forward as he squinted.

He had been right, two of the men from the original group had slipped off and were ambushing the three who were dressing quickly and murmuring low.

With calm, razor-sharp focus that sliced neatly through his shock, Charlie lifted his handgun and shot. Two quick efficient rounds that each hit their marks.

Both men collapsed to the ground. Charlie jogged over to make sure it was terminal. The other three had whipped around in surprise at the sound of the gunfire, and were at his side in a breathtaking second. Charlie kicked his foot needlessly against the man crumpled on the ground, a bullet lodged cleanly between his eyes.

"He's dead too," Jasper called out by the building and the other would-be assailant.

Paul's gaze snapped up to Charlie's with an appreciative lift to his brow. "Nice one," he murmured.

Uncomfortable, Charlie nodded and his gaze fell to the ground like lead as he shoved the gun back in its holster.

Startled, his head jerked back up at the sound of Paul's ear-splitting bellow. Charlie watched as the huge man fell to his knees, head bowed, his fists clenched and pressed against his temples.

"_NO_!" he yelled, as a wave of rain washed over them like curtain.

Sam was instantly stooping by his side. "Paul!"

Paul threw his head back with another tormented cry. "He's-… She's-… Fucking shit!" he ground out, all the tendons in his neck standing out. Then he was struggling to stand, an ungainly and awkward scrabble as Sam desperately tried to help him. "We have to get there! **NOW**!" he roared.

In a flash faster than Charlie's gaze could follow, Jasper was out on the quay and hopping into one of the speedboats, squatting down as he searched for the cables to hotwire the engine.

Sam pulled Paul's arm around his shoulders and supported him as they stumbled after.

Charlie quickly stepped to Paul's other side and put his shoulder under his arm, wrapping his arm around the boy's waist as they jerked and lunged toward the boat whose engine was just erupting into a revving growl.

Paul pushed away from them, leaping into the back of the vessel, followed closely by Charlie and Sam.

As soon as Charlie's foot hit the deck, the boat shot out of the slip and into the small harbor, Jasper tense and focused at the helm.

"_HURRY_!" Paul yelled hoarsely, as he fell to his knees, fisting his hands in his eyes. "Oh, Jesus Christ! _FUCK_! **NO**!"

Charlie braced himself on the side of the boat and looked aghast at Sam.

Sam met his gaze. "Their bond," he whispered soberly. "_It's Bella_."

Charlie swallowed thickly and sat heavily down in the bottom of the boat as he watched the man before him, quivering in unequivocal soul-wrenching agony.

"N-no, no, _no_," Paul whimpered in a broken voice as he threw his head back to the sky. "Oh, baby." The raindrops joined his tears as they streamed over his temples. "Oh, Jesus. _No_."

It was the most terrifying thing Charlie had ever seen: this tough, vicious, invincible thug of a man with his face drawn in abject torment, sorrow streaming unapologetically down his cheeks as his body shuddered in an overt vulnerability as intense as his absolute competence.

"_How long!"_ Sam called urgently up to Jasper who was unerringly cutting through the now rain-pocked waves.

"Less than ten," he called through the whipping wind and rain, turning to glance at Paul with his mouth set in a grim line.

Paul's face snapped up and his piercing, haunted eyes locked onto Sam. "I want to be _human_, Sam. When I do it. Make _sure_ that I'm human. _I have to kill him as a man_ – the wolf won't have the patience to do it right," he rasped vehemently. "That cocksucker needs to _suffer_ – nothing's too –" he choked on his words as a sob bubbled up from his chest and he collapsed forward, landing on two hands on the deck. His body convulsed in lamenting keening, as eerie, hiccupping growls punctuated his heaving shoulders. "Oh, God. He's _hurting_ her," he gasped. "Sh-she's fighting so hard. _So hard_. Oh, babe," he moaned shaking his head slowly. "He's _touching_ her," his voice fell to a frightening whispered wheeze. "He-he's… oh, _God_…"

Jasper whipped around, his face a mask of shock. "What?"

Paul didn't seem to hear him as he continued his senseless moans of torment.

Sam looked up and met Jasper's gaze. "We _are_ gonna kill him. You know that, right?" he hissed murderously, his entire body shaking with rage. He might not technically be Alpha anymore, but he still thought of them as _his_ pack – and maybe always would: Sam had always been a very paternal man both by nature and necessity. And Bella held a special place in the scheme of things for him. She had both come into the Pack _and_ had been lost on _his_ watch. She was _his sister, his daughter, his responsibility_.

"Well I was thinkin' to stop y'all from goin' all the way, as it were, but with _this_…" he gestured meaningfully toward Paul's quivering body. "I think I'll just let y'all do what needs doin'. Maybe help a little myself," his grimace was severe. "Don't think there's room enough in this crazy world for that kind a' malice."

Sam nodded curtly and glanced at Charlie. All the blood had drained out of the man's face and the conversations around him all sounded a million miles away.

"Chief," he said quietly reaching out a placating hand. The anxious compassion that was shining in the boy's eyes felt somehow grating.

Abruptly Charlie stood and stalked to helm of the boat to look out over the waters, his jaw clenching and unclenching rhythmically. He could just see lights up ahead coming into view and he took a deep breath, steeling himself.

Charlie was good at distancing himself from emotion. It's what made him such a good cop. It was a skill honed in survival, growing up in back woods Virginia – his old man had beaten the shit out of all of them, very much like Paul's father – and as soon as he was old enough he had gotten as far away as he could from that hellhole. It had landed him on the West Coast where he had gone to the police academy in the hopes of bringing some kind of justice to a decidedly cruel world. But after ten years of being a homicide cop in bowels of LA, it had worn him down. Renee had been a late blooming flower child, working in one of the new age shops near his beat and an idealistic and welcomed respite from the urban gutters. After she got pregnant, he had done what any good man would do and married her, moving them out to the most innocent, protected town he could find that had a job for him. _Forks_.

_But it was all for nothing._

Here he was, helpless as his daughter had been kidnapped, now veritably tormented and _abused_ by something that had no right to exist out of nightmares.

And he couldn't do a goddamn thing about it.

They careened toward the island, the boat's motor all the way open and snarling like a buzzsaw through rain.

Suddenly Paul was standing beside Charlie, peering out through the evening storm at the house coming into view up the hill from the beach. Without a word, the man leaped agilely up on the nose of the boat and dove long and hard into the black waters. His arms were a blur of movement as he cut through the waves with powerful strokes.

Charlie watched the boy sprint through the shallow shoreline water as Jasper pulled the boat up toward the beach, neglecting the docks farther down the way.

Moments later a deafening roar cleaved the night followed by a crash that was loud enough to make Charlie jump even over the surf and motor.

"He's here," Jasper murmured quietly, cutting the engine. "Come." With that the vampire vaulted over the side of the boat, followed by Sam.

Charlie followed suit, splashing into the chest-deep water and fighting his way through the rain-splattered waves even as the other two were already leaping lithely up onto the deck on shore. He cursed his humanity as he stumbled, huffing and puffing, through the sugar fine sand which caked on his wet trousers, and pulled himself laboriously up onto the wooden patio.

Running into the house, he froze at the door. A knot of flailing, snarling gray fur was tumbling across the floor before him, crashing through the outside wall just to his right. Immediately, Charlie whipped his head back toward the room, his eyes frantically searching for Bella.

Kneeling on the floor across the wide and elegant suite eerily lit by two dozen candles – the ones that were still standing - were Jasper and Sam. Charlie jogged across the polished wood, slowing as he came into view of his only child. Sam's hands were shaking like leaves as they decorously rearranged the white sundress back over her abused chest, simultaneously pulling the skirt down to her knees with the other hand. Bella lay splayed across the floor, deathly pale, her eyes sunken and lips blue and still.

Sam looked up and met his gaze. "She's barely breathing Charlie," he rasped from between trembling lips.

"Jesus Christ! Oh, baby!" he cried pushing the other two out of the way. "Oh, _baby girl_," he choked as his hands fluttered over her gaunt, still form. Bella's head was tilted to the side, a gaping oval wound bleeding profusely from her neck, crimson pooling in the hollows of her prominent collar bone, over the floor, sprayed shockingly down over the white of the dress… blood..._everywhere_.

Jasper leaned forward and met Sam's gaze over Bella's body as if sensing the boy's self-flagellation. "Go help Paul," he muttered over the continued sounds of rabid grating snarls and splintering wood coming from outside.

Sam swallowed and stood, not taking his eyes from the broken girl before them.

Jasper ignored him and turned to Charlie. "He was drainin' her," he whispered quietly, soberly. "So there's not much venom – but I gotta get it all out or she'll die for certain." He licked his lips worriedly as his gaze ran over Bella's deathly still form. "Our venom can turn a body, but when we feed it acts like an anesthetic – paralyzes them. I _gotta_ suck it out," he repeated in a voice that uncharacteristically trembled.

Charlie looked up sharply into the golden eyes of the man beside him. "Are you _sure that's safe_?" he hedged uncomfortably.

The look in Jasper's eyes was not comforting. "There's no helpin' it, Charlie. Should be less than minute… when the venom's gone she'll make some kinda sound as she starts feelin' again," Jasper visibly swallowed. "Feelin' the pain again," he whispered as he ran his hand over her forehead with a transparent tenderness.

With one more glance at Charlie, his fingers gently tilted Bella's head more to the side. He leaned forward slowly toward the wound at her neck. "If I can't stop ...get Paul," he murmured.

Charlie tensed and rearranged himself on his knees. "S-Sam?" he stuttered the question.

Jasper turned his head from beside Bella's jaw, his mouth set in a grim line. "No, _Paul_. He's the only one a' them who has a chance at stoppin' me when I don't wanna be stopped."

With that his blond head dipped down and his lips pressed over the mark on Bella's neck in a way that was somehow sensual and intimate even in such a gruesome context. He sucked in a rapturous breath through his nose, as his entire body stiffened while his mouth latched onto her neck.

Then the parade of abhorrent soft gulping swallows began.

'

'

Sam jogged across the huge room, picking up a twitching dismembered calf haphazardly along the way. He jogged out onto the patio and watched the fierce tumbling fight in the sand before him. The wolf broke away then, dodging the vampire's slashing claw. Massive head down low, it bared teeth that were foaming in rage.

"Paul!" he ineffectually yelled over the vicious snarls. It was futile; there was no way the wolf was going to let up in this fight. Setting the leg down, Sam vaulted off the deck and onto the beach.

Even one-legged, the vampire was savage, Bella's blood slicking his hissing lips and dribbling gruesomely down his neck. His eyes were frighteningly red – glowing and wild – and even backed into a proverbial corner deranged, senseless hisses tore from its thin lips. Gone was any semblance of humanity.

All that remained was the monster that he was.

Now was his chance. Sam threw himself between the two enemies and turned to the rabid wolf, holding up desperate placating hands. "Stop! Paul, stop!" he shrilled.

Sam had never been on the other side of Paul's true ire like this. Those merciless yellow eyes bored into him with barbarous hatred, and Sam's stomach instinctively dropped as adrenaline charged through his veins, choking him with its force.

"P-Paul! _Human_, remember?" he gasped frantically against the bloodthirsty snapping of the beast's jaws as he lunged ferociously at what stood between him and his prey. "_Human_!" Sam boomed desperately as the beast launched his body at him with lethal prone claws.

In midair, the wolf twisted violently out of the strike and fell to the sand, pushing back up on its haunches with an ear-splitting roar.

Sam had seen the wolf fighting to get out of the man on many occasions in his tenure as Alpha, but never had he seen it reversed. The body of the wolf rippled and convulsed with deafening strangled snarls, clawing at the sand and spraying biting grains over Sam in its vehement struggle.

With another berserk bellow, the wolf surged up on its hind legs and transformed eerily slowly into the man from the top down. Paul shook his head violently, fists clenched and all tendons standing out of his neck as if beating the beast down. A fully human Paul finally stood before Sam in the sand, his lips peeled back from gnashing teeth, his entire body reverberating with rage.

"_Hold him_," he growled, a low guttural sound as if pried directly from his innards.

Sam whipped around to see the vampire scurrying back through the sand like a crab, his eyes manically wide and rolling, his lips lifted in a rabid sneer.

In one leap, Sam had pounced and twisted the pitiful excuse for a being into his rough grasp, pinning its arms behind it with a merciless grip. The vampire twisted and hissed and bucked against Sam's grip with a high keening shriek.

"Christ, it's _strong_!" Sam gasped as he fought to hold the flailing creature as Paul stalked toward them, a menacing and enraged glint in his eye. His face was a mask of unadulterated fury and hatred.

"It's the human blood," he spat a glob of spittle in disgust to the side. "_MY MATE'S_ blood," he snarled.

Paul stopped six inches from where the vampire was writhing hysterically in Sam's iron grasp.

"You, disgusting, filthy, _cocksucking parasite_!" he ground out through gritted teeth. "What did you think you would do, you spineless prick? _Take_ what she wouldn't give you! What a fucking lame-ass excuse for a man!" With that Paul's hand shot out like lightning into the vampire's crotch and gouged a handful of flesh, rending it from his body with the sound of grating granite.

Edward's head shot back and his mouth opened in a horrifying, ear-piercing howl of pain that would have shattered the finest crystal.

Paul's lips lifted in a defiant and gratified sneer. He met Sam's delighted gaze over the twisting screaming vampire's shoulder as he stumbled, struggling to hold the creature still.

His eyes simply savage, Paul took a lunged forward and slammed the handful of repulsive flesh down the creature's screeching throat. The noise was instantly smothered into choking muffled gags.

Ripping Edward out of Sam's grasp, Paul relentlessly shook the creatures tortured form until the vampire finally looked into his eyes. With a satisfied smirk, Paul tipped his head, his eyes rabid and bloodthirsty. "Candle!" he grunted in demand while his gaze ran over the vampire's wide-eyed expression with nefarious glee.

Sam vaulted back up to the house and returned quickly holding two candles in one hand, the other palm before them. He set them down on the deck under the sheltering overhang. At a jerk of Paul's chin, Sam then again wrapped his long arms around the chest of the now sniveling beast.

Paul released the creature once Sam had his hold and leaned forward, hissing maliciously in the vampire's ear as his hands came up to rest on his jaw with misleading gentleness.

"Now… what did I tell you, motherfucking leech?" With one smooth jerk of his hands, Paul rent the skull from the vampire's shoulders and held it before him. A geyser of crimson blood erupted from the beheaded body and Sam threw it down in the sand with appalling disgust.

Bella's blood.

The body writhed and twisted in the sand, a horrific spray of crimson spattering the sugar sand.

Paul smiled with a frightening coldness at the head in his hand, eyes squinted in pain, choking on its own anatomy. "Now, what I want to know is can you still _feel_ your limbs. Bending down he casually snapped a finger from the flailing body in the sand.

Setting the dismembered head on the porch, he pulled the candle closer. Slowly he brought the creature's digit down to the flame. As soon as it neared, the digit exploded in fire, as if made of the most combustible of material. Paul let the small fireball drop to the sand, as purple smoke billowed up in a noxious cloud.

Paul watched the vampire's face contorted in pain, his muffled screams making the head rock over onto its side on the porch.

"Yess!" he purred with sadistic ecstasy.

'

'

Charlie watched while Jasper's head dipped and bobbed with the full body swallows of his daughter's very life. He looked down at his watch again forty-three seconds. His gaze snapped back to Bella's wan face and saw her blue, sallow eyelids flutter. Charlie tensed and leaned closer.

Her pale lips parted and a pitiful mewling spilled from her quivering chapped lips.

"Stop!" he yelled, shoving the vampire roughly. "Jasper! Get off!"

Jasper gasped against her neck and a rumbling growl tumbled in his chest like gravel.

A wretched whimper quavered again on Bella's lips.

"GET THE HELL OFF OF HER!" he yelled, as he beat on the back of the vampire.

With a snarling hiss, Jasper threw himself back, landing in an aggressive crouch where he stared Charlie down with unseeing salmon eyes.

Charlie gulped and put himself between his daughter and the hissing creature. Jasper fell on his backside and scrabbled away as if he were pushing arduously against some invisible force to do so.

"That's it," Charlie murmured approvingly. "Get on back."

Sam appeared in the doorway and took in the situation. Charlie didn't take his eyes off the vampire who was violently shaking his head, pink foaming hisses erupting from his blood slicked lips in an eerily audible battle with himself.

Sam sprinted over to slide himself between the man and the beast. "Jasper, get back," he growled low and threatening.

The vampire stood menacingly and Sam crouched. But surprisingly, Jasper's posture suddenly changed from aggression to submission. Rubbing an alabaster hand over his face he painfully backed away, swallowing visibly.

"Sam, get her some kinda bandage. And a blanket!" Charlie's hoarse cry was laced with a shriek.

Charlie's hand shot out to press against the bleeding wound at Bella's neck. Her pulse was so weak! But still it relentlessly shoved out another measure of her life with each sluggish beat. With his other hand he gently rearranged Bella's head so it was straight to facilitate her labored and shallow breathing.

Sam quickly returned with a blanket and several towels. He quickly ripped a towel into strips. Charlie tenderly lifted her limp head and Sam wrapped the strips of terrycloth around her neck, tucking it soundly into itself.

Charlie grabbed another folded towel from beside Sam and placed it under Bella's head as he carefully lowered it back down.

Sam drew the blanket over Bella's thin and trembling body while Charlie smoothed the stray tendrils of hair back from where they were caught in the clammy beads of perspiration on her forehead.

"Oh _God_, baby. My baby girl," Charlie choked, biting his lip as his gaze ran of the Bella's frail form, so tenuously holding onto life.

His finger ghosted over the dark brutal bruise that bloomed from her jaw up into her cheek, swelling and making her face look asymmetrical. Charlie pulled the blanket up higher over her shoulders.

"Is he dead?" Charlie growled in a hateful monotone, not looking up from his daughter.

"He's getting there," Sam murmured. "Paul's drawing it out. As painfully as he can."

"Good," Charlie spat viciously as his lip lifted in an unapologetic sneer of loathing.

Charlie's eyes snapped up and searched Sam's distraught gaze. He licked his lips and pressed them together for a moment. "I hafta know… did he-…" he gagged on the word. He just couldn't make his lips form the words 'rape.' Not in reference to _his daughter_. But he _had_ to know.

Sam easily understood the unasked question and shook his head. "Paul got him in time," he whispered.

Charlie's shoulders caved with a sigh. "There's still _some_ mercy in the world," he mumbled returning his gaze to where Bella was struggling to draw in her next breath.

"She's lost too much blood," Jasper whispered suddenly, making both cop and wolf look up sharply. They had forgotten he was there.

Jasper was hesitantly approaching again, his eyes trained on Bella.

"She's dying," he breathed as if he could hear the arduous thud of Bella's weak pulse. Charlie supposed that he could. Desperately his gaze darted to Sam's as if looking for reassurance.

Sam closed his eyes and hung his head dejectedly.

Charlie's eyes fell down to where Bella's breath stuttered in her chest as if in morbid confirmation. Her mouth opened soundlessly and she gasped in shallow rapid pants. A pitiful strangled mewling bubbled up softly from her throat.

"No…." Charlie wheezed. "_No_!" He gathered the gaunt girl into his arms and pulled her up against his chest. "B-baby… h-hang on," he spluttered, clutching her shoulders frantically. "Jesus! Let's get her to a hospital!"

"There's not one for miles, Charlie," Jasper said, quietly somber. "There's not time." The vampire pinched his nose with his hand and let his head fall back in uncharacteristic defeat.

As if on cue, Bella arched feebly in Charlie's arms and expelled a long wheezing breath.

It's counterpart inhale never came.

"_Christ_!" Charlie spat, his fingers fumbling for her pulse as he laid her back out on the floor. "Jesus Christ!"

From outside a gut-wrenching roar of utter desolation peeled back the night.


	34. Chapter 33 Shredded

'

**33 – Shredded**

'

There was only one thing on God's green earth that could have distracted Paul from his myopic, frenetic shredding of the _thing_ that had done what it'd done – and tried to do - to his mate.

_And that was Bella herself._

As if a claws had cleaved his very soul asunder, the sensation of his heart being violently yanked from body made Paul freeze.

Immediately he could feel it. The desolate emptiness of a world without her. _With out Bella._ His imprint. His mate.

His chin jerking ferally from where he was throwing little sparkling bits into the purple plumes of burning flesh, the silence of her heartbeat was as loud as thunder.

"NO!" his entire being rebelled as he threw his head back in a bellow of utter desolation.

Without knowing how he got there, the next moment Paul was standing in the doorway, breath heaving, fists clenched at his side, his entire being shaking.

Sam looked up urgently with liquid eyes from where he was kneeling at Bella's side. "Her heart's stopped. She's lost too much blood," he wheezed in despair.

Paul watched as Charlie immediately fell on his mate, pinching her nose and blowing three breaths into her mouth.

An inhuman snarl tore out of Paul's chest as Charlie's hands fisted over her breast and administered three sharp compressions.

"Bella," Paul's bass voice shattered with grief like glass on concrete. In a breath, he was pushing Sam forcefully across the wood floor as he plowed his way beside her. With a heedless hand, he batted Charlie back out of the way, so hard the man's head cracked against the wall.

"_No, babe_. You _gotta_ stay with me," he choked as his shaking hands gathered her limp, emaciated form into his arms. "You _stay_ with me now, little girl."

Paul barely registered Charlie scrabbling back toward him, clawing wildly for Bella's body. "No! Get away from her! She needs CPR!" he cried, his voice breaking in panic. "Paul!"

Sam's hands were instantly pulling Charlie back. "Easy there, Chief. _Wait_."

"_Wait_? Christ she don't have no time! Let me go, Uley!" he barked, frantically struggling against the wolf's heedless iron grip.

Completely oblivious to the strident drama around him, Paul smoothed his large palm over his mate's bruised and battered face. _She had fought so hard. How could he have let this happen?_ The first tear spilled over to land with a soft splash on her cheek.

"Babe," he breathed. "_Please_. Don't leave me. I love you… I _love_ you! Oh, God, _please_." He rearranged her still body on his lap. Gulping - like in the dream- he instinctively lowered his mouth down to press against her still chalky lips. Her skin tasted sweet like the saccharine of vampire rot, and Paul had to suppress his gag, as rage siphoned like fire through his veins as if his blood were gasoline.

Taking a deep breath then expelling it slowly, Paul blocked out all else and kissed his delicate mate with all the love and devotion in his very being, desperately petitioning his vitality and essence to revive her tiny, abused body.

For a moment only the waves kept time to the ticking lifeless seconds, the wind chime icing its lament with a insolent gaiety.

Then, abruptly Bella gasped against Paul's mouth, her wheezing inhale drawing his breath from his lungs with a suffocating voraciousness. There was an odd, whooshing sensation as if one of those waves had crashed over his head and the waters then rushed back past him with an exigent sucking undertow. Paul sighed in blissful ecstasy and willingly released all of anything…_everything…_ he had to his mate's exquisitely ravenous petition.

The tentative beat of her heart stuttering back to life was the sweetest music that Paul had ever imagined.

"Yesssssss, babe. Take it. _Take it all,"_ he crooned, choking with emotion as he impatiently tugged the blanket from between them and pulled her tenderly to his chest so that every last millimeter of skin possible was touching.

Someone anonymously helped him pull the blanket back around both of them, enveloping them together in heat, as Paul closed his eyes and his cheek fell heavily against Bella's forehead. He felt his strength, his breath, his very soul being siphoned off by his mate's destitute need. He smiled in peaceful serenity as silent tears spilled over into her hair and quiet sobs shook his body.

"Yesss, little girl. It's yours," he whispered breathily. _"_Take it _all_."

But she didn't.

Paul willed his life, his love, his very soul to fill the tiny body in his arms. Whether it was the curse of his supernatural invincibility or something else, he felt the draw from his body sluggishly sputter to a stop. Still, his mate's breath was frightfully shallow in her breast. Still her heartbeat tentative and stuttering.

"No," he breathed. "Dear God, just take it. _Please_," he rasped as he pulled Bella closer. Snuffling over her frantically, he scented her fresh blood still oozing from the wound at her neck. Ripping the towel away with his teeth, he sniffed the gaping oval wound over her pulse. His wolf began laving it instinctively. The bleeding mercifully slowed to a stop as he choked on the rusted sweetness of his mate's life, expelling a sob against her jaw.

Lupine whines of desolation leaked from his lips as he gingerly nuzzled her bruised face, his tongue darting out to slick over her salty skin in urgent, pleading caresses.

He couldn't _feel_ her. Even though her broken body still drew breath, it was as if there were a gaping hole that had been torn from his world, rending it asunder. Wherever she had fled to endure what she had, he couldn't follow.

Paul was alone. Completely alone.

Their fledgling bond had been ripped and shredded, leaving a bereft and sucking vacuum where her warm, honey essence had been. Paul had been forsaken by the world for long, it should be a familiar sensation.

But it wasn't. He had been irreparably changed on such a very deep level… in such a very short time. He gagged in despair as he buried his face in her hair…searching… yearning… craving the other half of his very soul.

Deep inside him, the wolf pined wretchedly.

It was _Paul_ who had failed her. Miserably.

'

'

Jasper couldn't stand the pain.

To bear witness to such soul-wrenching sorrow was excruciating – even without his gifts. It was a heartrending scene: that hulking, impervious, invulnerable man hunched in unbridled lament over the broken body of his lover and sobbing into her hair - a soft, hoarse, fallow sound of utter anguish.

Jasper turned brusquely as he ground his teeth together in rage.

In several brisk strides, Jasper was out on the patio, the scent of rain and ocean restorative and soothing. But even the ablution of the balmy tropical evening couldn't cleanse the sickening aftertaste that blackened anything left of his soul.

Never had he hated what he was.

Never, until _now_.

Witnessing first-hand the effects of the deranged depravity of one of his kind who had succumbed to twisted lust and hunger sickened him.

And he was _sickened_. By his kind. By his "brother." By the delusional parody of humanity they had all lulled themselves into…

But especially by his own abhorrent nature that still held a shameless erection for the girl and the alluringly delectable sweetness of her blood. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and then threw his fist into the column of the patio, idly watching as cracks splintered and forked along the solid stone surface. He realized in that moment just how difficult it was to toe the line between a remnant of humanity and honor and the profanity of the insatiable thirst that epitomized their kind. He had been fooling himself. They all had been.

This power: the immortality, the beauty, the strength… it was nothing but a hideous mask to cover an innate monstrosity. Vampires may lose the human vulnerabilities and imperfections with their Turning… but they retained all the greed and avarice of a humanity stripped of its soul. A curse indeed.

In a blur of movement, Jasper was down on the beach, yanking up the remaining head from the sand by the shock of permanently styled hair. Resentfully he turned the face around toward him. It was frozen in a contortion of pain, eyes squeezed closed, scraps of cloth and marble flesh hanging repulsively from its mouth. Jasper inadvertently smiled to himself. He too would have shoved the very tool of intended violation down the creature's throat if it had been _his_ mate.

But _she_ wasn't his mate.

He didn't have a mate.

The inadvertent thought made Jasper frown. Why did he not carry such impassioned instincts for Alice? Of course he would have exacted revenge for any of "his own" who had been abused in any way, but the sudden realization that it was _different_ was like a slap in the face. A slap he had avoided for far too long. Alice was his wife (he certainly couldn't deny that - they had gotten married so many times he'd lost count) but she wasn't his _mate_. It was the cold, hard truth.

He had met Alice at such a time when he had been bankrupt. Sick at heart from fighting countless nightmare newborns -just so sick of fighting in and of itself– and she had been a breath of fresh air that had been absent for far too long in his life.

And she had been so _sure_. For the first time in Jasper's life he had _stopped_ fighting and had gone with it. And he didn't have any regrets, not really. But seeing the profound bond that Paul and Bella shared – tasting the pure and authentic emotions of them both – made Jasper ache for more.

Just then the eyes in the disembodied head eerily popped open and Jasper unconsciously started. They were red and glowing and utterly feral. Any humanity Edward had retained had been adulterated beyond recognition.

Jasper sneered at the creature – he was no longer anything or anyone he had known.

"You _fool_. Of all the vile, filthy things you could have done – I think this one just about takes the cake," he spat in disgust. "If the boy hadn't done such a good job of it…I just might have been tempted to shove that cake down your throat myself."

There was something deep in his being that was incensed. Was it guilt? Longing? A need to distance himself from such depravity? He couldn't deny that something about the girl drew him in. Maybe it was simply the combination of genuine and guileless emotions with the particular ambrosial allure of her blood.

The head snarled and shook in his hands in a pitiful and mindless attempt at escape. With barely a consideration, Jasper tossed the appendage into the smoldering pile of flesh on the sand and began searching for any other pieces of discarded anatomy. It appeared that Paul had been shredding every last scrap of the beast with a meticulous attention. There was barely anything left.

Bending down to catch a wayward hand that was crawling across the sand like a spider in a vain search for its arm, Jasper glanced up at the werewolf crossing toward him.

"Does it bother you?" Sam asked quietly.

The hand horrifyingly grasped onto Jasper's fingers with desperation. Jasper peeled the appendage from him and shook it off into the fire. "Not really. Can't fathom what that boy did… he wasn't anyone I knew anymore," Jasper drawled quietly. "Or anyone I could ever cherish knowin'."

Sam nodded soberly and watched the flesh burst into a noxious cloud.

Jasper glanced pensively at the man who was staring vacantly into the purple licking flames. "She alright?" Jasper murmured.

Sam looked up with a grim expression. "Physically? Her heart's still beating. Looks like she'll make it… thanks to their bond."

Jasper sighed. They both knew that the unseen wounds would be the hardest to heal. For the both of them.

The sound of a motor boat snarling in the distance made each look up sharply over the blackened waters.

"Trouble?" Sam asked quietly. They had left a veritable mess in their wake at the port.

"Dunno," Jasper's brow tilted in confusion. "Everyone in _Buzios_ knows to stay away from this island. There are … _stories…_ that we haven't been exactly discouragin' about what lives in these parts."

But as the vessel came into view from out of the gloom, the mystery was solved. Carlisle and Alice and the others stood still as statues in the misting rain. The yacht veered toward them and their stretch of the shoreline.

Jasper raised a hand in greeting, as Sam backed farther away from him uncertainly. Like a whisper, the wolf disappeared in the house.

Jasper didn't blame him. He, himself, wondered what kind of welcome would greet him from his clan. He met the others at the beach. Carlisle's bleak expression told him that they already knew.

Alice splashed through shallow waves and threw herself at Jasper, wrapping her tiny arms around his body as she buried her face in his chest. The overture surprised him; he had expected a barrage of incrimination and blame.

"I didn't see it! I'm so sorry, Jas," she looked up with round haunted eyes that showed the vulnerability of the acknowledged fallibility. "I didn't see it until it was too late… what he was planning to do to her…" she whimpered, her lips quivering and correspondingly breaking Jasper's heart.

Jasper smoothed back a lock of spiky black hair. "Darlin' you didn't see it, 'cause you didn't want ta," he murmured quietly. "He went berserk on us all. There just wasn't any reckonin' for that."

Carlisle took slow steps up on the sand, glancing behind Jasper at the telling plumes of purple smoke. He looked stricken. Esme clapped a hand over her mouth with a little gasp of horror and pressed herself into his side hiding her face in shame.

"It's my fault," Carlisle whispered quietly. "I should have seen the signs. He had been stretched too thin by grief and thirst. Edward in his right mind would have never-"

Jasper interrupted him. "Don't you go makin' excuses for that boy, now. He reaped what he sowed, right enough."

Carlisle's gaze snapped to Jasper and he considered him a moment. Jasper saw the tortured realization that comes with a poignant glance in the mirror. The illusion in which the man had so invested himself was far more tenuous than he had ever realized. The shock and torment of shattered naivety was painful for Jasper to witness. His still heart stuttered in empathy.

It was the very nature of what they were to hunger, to consume, to _take_. A nature that every one of this… "family"… strove to combat in one way or another.

_And one that needed a fearful respecting_, Jasper thought. Carlisle understood that now – he could see it.

_It was just a little too late for all that._

As a group, they somberly moved up to where the flames were spluttering in the spitting rain, the purple luminescence looking garishly gay and … _beautiful_ in the darkness.

Carlisle bowed his head over the remnants of his oldest friend. Not with a sadness _per se_, Jasper thought. More of a regret.

Rosalie, on the other hand, huffed and leaned forward and spat over the fire – her volatile spittle erupting into a shower of sparks that fell with an eerie twinkling grace. "Don't waste your time, Carlisle," she hissed vehemently. "And glad you saved me the trouble, Jas."

Jasper looked up in surprise and considered her infuriated and indignant expression. Their reactions had certainly surprised him, and so very little surprised him anymore. In the end it was an adherence to principal, not a loyalty to their kind that tempered each and every response. Perhaps there for hope for them after all.

Jasper tipped his head with a wry smile. "It was my pleasure, darlin'."

'

'

_Damn it all to hell. Just when you thought things couldn't get worse_, Sam thought bitterly. Paul was going to go ballistic. And he already was just running on fumes.

Sam's gaze snapped to his Pack mate whose head was nodding and bobbing with the effort of staying upright with the drain of what his mate's recovery demanded. His whole body jerked back up blindly at the sound of Sam's quiet footsteps across the floor as a soft protective snarl rumbled in his chest.

"It's just Sam," Charlie murmured quietly from where he was sitting on the floor leaning back against the wall, his face anxious, red-rimmed eyes glued to his daughter wrapped in Paul's arms. They were all soul-weary and worn. Exhausted from the ebbing adrenaline wash of finally having Bella out of immediate harm's way. It seemed a cruel joke to have to snap so soon to round two.

Sam knew all too well about the soul-eating torment of not being able to protect his imprint. The self-loathing, the blame, the gut-wrenching agony…

Then came looking into her eyes _every day_ and facing what he had let happen.

There just weren't words.

Sam motioned grimly to Charlie and the man pushed himself up off the floor with a grunt. Charlie was quickly by his side, his face a telling mask of apprehension.

"Charlie, the rest of the Cullen's are here," Sam whispered. Paul was so completely consumed with his mate, that he didn't even look up.

Charlie glanced anxiously back at where Paul was slowly rocking Bella back and forth in his arms, soft keening whines pooling in the back of his throat as he snuffled over her bruised face in a very wolf-like gesture of distress.

"Well, they need to _leave_," Charlie whispered harshly, his hand falling meaningfully to his weapon. "_Now_."

Carlisle Cullen appeared in the doorway at that moment, his face a mask of grating regret and concern. He was flanked by two women – his wife and a blond who looked pissed as hell. Sam straightened in ready.

With a roar, Paul was pushing off the ground, piteously lurching and staggering to stand in his depleted condition. Sam was by his side in a heartbeat, holding him up while he senselessly snarled at the vampires, Bella clutched frantically to his chest.

Struggling to support Paul's huge frame as he feebly swayed on his feet, Sam was surprised when Charlie stepped in front of them both with an overtly threatening stance.

"Don't you be comin' any closer now," he bellowed pulling his gun out of its holster and aiming it steadily at the group.

Sam felt like laughing. If they so wanted, they'd all be dead in the next instant. His little party was pitifully outnumbered.

Carlisle's face fell in an expression of plaintive sorrow as he held his hands up docilely. "I'm so very sorry, Chief Swan. I so wish we had gotten here sooner."

The blond literally spat, "yeah, I woulda liked to have ripped the head off that skinny body myself."

Sam blinked in surprise. The blond was pissed at _Edward_?

Paul was still desperately trying to struggle away from Sam's grasp, stumbling back from the threat to his mate while twisting to shelter Bella's body with his massive shoulders. His eyes were wide and wild as rabid snarls foamed on his lips.

"Well I think your kind has already done enough damage for one night. Why don't you just be on your way," Charlie grumbled.

Carlisle nodded solicitously and then his eyes dipped to where Paul was viciously staring him down with gnashing teeth.

"You know I'm a doctor, Charlie," he petitioned quietly. "I can examine Bella and make sure she is well enough for the trip home. Jasper has told me some of what she endured."

As if on cue, Jasper appeared beside him. "I know it goes against just 'bout everything you're feelin' right now, but her hand's broken – and probably more. He won't hurt her, you got my word on that," he drawled as his hand came up to rest solemnly over his dead heart.

Charlie whipped around and met Sam's gaze uncertainly. His eyes were glistening with conflict: Bella's wellbeing warred overtly with an acrid instinct to keep the creatures away from his daughter.

"Jasper, would you get my bag from the boat?" Carlisle crooned as he began rolling up his sleeves.

_Even with 'good intentions' these goddamn bloodsuckers just assumed too damn much_, Sam bristled as he wrapped his arm more tightly around his brother. _Arrogant bastards._

With a stricken expression that mirrored that thought, Charlie turned back around and took slow steps toward Paul, watching him carefully. "Paul, we gotta get her checked out," he murmured in petition.

Paul blinked, his feral eyes instantly heating in yellow and snapping to Charlie's lips as if struggling to comprehend his words.

"Can you do it, son?" he asked reaching out a tentative hand and placing it on Paul's forearm in a clearly fatherly gesture.

The fact that Paul didn't rip the man's arm off right then and there shocked the hell out of Sam.

It was a silent showdown between the two, as Paul's breath heaved in his chest. A strangled growl of anguish bubbled up from his throat.

Paul wouldn't be able to do it, Sam _knew_. Even _Sam_ didn't think he could stomach letting one of those _things_ touch her again, no matter the stakes. But Charlie couldn't smell them, he couldn't see beyond the illusion of humanity that they so successfully wove.

Oh, they were asking too much of the wolf, and it was going to end badly. Sam struggled with his flailing instinct and the vibrating body being tenuously restrained in his arms.

Jasper had returned with the doctor's bag and Carlisle took it without tearing his eyes from the wolves before him. He took slow hesitant steps forward, the others instinctively falling back.

Paul's body began trembling violently in Sam's grasp as Charlie moved - blissfully oblivious - to the side to allow the doctor access.

Carlisle held up both hands in placation. "I just need to see…" he murmured quietly as Paul pushed desperately back against Sam, holding Bella tighter.

With steady, alabaster fingers Carlisle reached out and ghosted them over Bella's bruised jaw. At the cold touch of his hand, a soft wail trembled on Bella's lips and she feebly turned her cheek into Paul's chest.

A ferocious growl ripped from Paul's chest as his face eerily transformed into the wolf and lashed out with snapping jaws. He tore his body from Sam's grip so hard he fell into the wall with a crash.

Carlisle's unnaturally fast reflexes were the only thing that spared his arm.

Suddenly fully alert and steady, Paul snarled murderously from where he crouched, inching back away from the hastily retreating doctor.

"Looks like there's your answer, doc. I'll be thinkin' you understand," Charlie drawled dryly as he eyed the vampire with a small smile of satisfaction, seeming relieved to have it decided for him. And somewhat smugly pleased with the outcome.

"I do." Carlisle's shoulders fell slightly as he nodded. "I wish ..." he let his words die on his tongue as he turned around abruptly and let his head fall forward with remorse.

Sam felt the smallest modicum of pity for the vampire.

It didn't last long.

He would just have to get his absolution somewhere else – not from _his_ Pack. Not after this.

"We need to go home," Sam growled as the validity of that simple statement settled over him like a sigh of relief. He glanced at his Pack mate who was slumped against the wall and breathing like a racehorse through his nose, Bella clutched protectively to his shoulder as his eyes darted warily over the scene before him. Sam squared his shoulders with resolve. "_Now_."

'

'

Paul hunched in the back of the boat growling venomously along with the motor as he held his mate wrapped tightly in several blankets. Sam and Charlie sat protectively between him and the three vampires at the helm. Carlisle, Jasper and the blond – Rosalie? – had volunteered to chaperone them back, while the others cleaned up the "collateral damage." Too bad they couldn't do the same for the damage to Sam's Pack.

The boat careened over the waves of the open ocean on a course straight for Rio's harbors. As the twinkling lights of the city came into view, Sam released a long sigh of relief. It was almost over.

They docked without incident and then were ferried quickly toward the airport.

"Everything's arranged," Carlisle turned from the front of the limo. "You'll be leaving within the hour."

Charlie nodded to the vampire with a harsh grunt of assent as he got out of the car, holding the door vigilantly for Paul.

The phlegmatic florescent lighting of the non-commercial concourse were harsh and gave Sam a distinctly disassociated feeling as they briskly strode through the terminal. All battle-worn, worried, and shredded inside, the unconcerned normalcy around them gave Sam a sense of vertigo.

Carlisle generously greased palms with copious bills for their expediency and discretion. But Sam couldn't find it anywhere in his being for even a grudging gratitude.

Except in one odd little spot he'd have never expected.

Maybe it was just the soothing illusion that she was a girl, but the only thing remotely comforting about the entire trip through the bright, bustling halls – oddly enough – was _Rosalie_. She walked with a certain protectiveness, always with her body between Sam and Paul and the other two vampires, hissing reprovingly if Carlisle or Jasper - or even a passing pedestrian, for that matter- even glanced at Bella. She was the only one who seemed to understand that Paul would simply rip out their throats and ask questions later of any other male who even looked askance at her right now.

Rosalie was an interesting enigma, but one Sam didn't have the strength or bandwidth to analyze. He was just glad to make it through the halls with out any bloodshed.

In the luxurious and comfortable waiting area, Paul paced the floor with his bundled mate as they waited for the private jet to taxi and fuel.

Carlisle pulled Charlie aside. "Are you _sure_ you don't want me to accompany you?"

Charlie laughed darkly once, with a knowing glance to Sam. "Surer than anything in my goddamn life."

Carlisle pursed his lips with an efficient nod. "There is one final affair, then, that needs to be discussed."

Charlie's eyebrows shot up in surprise with undisguised displeasure "That right?"

Sam froze skeptically at the vampire's tone. _What now?_

"Edward … was a wealthy man…" Carlisle began in a hushed voice.

"He weren't no _man_," Charlie spat. "Not with what he did to my daughter."

Carlisle pressed his lips together in concession and swallowed. "His estate is now yours, if you would take it," he continued quietly.

Charlie's face went suddenly beet red. "You think you can just _buy_ away your guilty conscience? You arrogant sonofabitch, we ain't some ignorant imbeciles that you can pay to make it alright – like you do." He waved a dismissive hand around the airport as a vein popped prominently at his temple.

Sam took several steps toward the furious man – he was finally at his breaking point, and Sam couldn't blame him. The vamps _were_ damn cocky motherfuckers, the lot of them.

"We're taking you up on the plane ride, just cause we don't have no choice. But I don't want none of your filthy money," Charlie continued, hissing through his teeth indignantly.

"Not for you… for _her_," Carlisle appealed, with a chafing edge of placating patronization. "She won't ever want for anything again." There was a certain desperateness to his voice. Sam supposed Charlie had been right – that was exactly what the vampire was doing: paying down a guilty conscience - even if he couldn't admit it to himself.

"What she _wants_ is to never have met that boy of yours," Charlie bit out, incensed.

"Charlie, let Bella decide," Paul growled suddenly from where he had frozen in his pacing.

Sam whipped around in surprise to see his burning eyes trained singularly on the vampire, an intense and unfathomable expression on his face.

Paul's eyes darted to Charlie who held his gaze for a moment as silent communication passed between them. And suddenly Sam understood; she had had too many choices taken from her already. Paul's mind was as sharp as a tack. Even now.

Charlie turned back to the vampire with a curt nod of agreement. "Alright," he grumbled grudgingly.

"Very good," Carlisle expelled an subtle sigh of triumphant relief. "I'll have my attorneys draw up the papers and contact-"

Charlie held up a terse hand. "You can reach me at the _station_. Official business only," Charlie frowned in warning.

"I understand," Carlisle appeased.

At that moment, the same stewardess sashayed down the gangway and then visibly froze in dismay at the sight of her passengers. Sam chuckled and gave Charlie a knowing ghost of a wink. The moment of levity was like a breath of fresh air.

It _was_ almost over.

Sam stepped forward to put his hand on Paul's arm from where he still stared down the vamp with an incinerating gaze, but his Pack mate ripped his arm from his grasp.

He stalked purposefully toward Carlisle several steps. "You set so much as a _toe_ anywhere _near_ the state of Washington again, and you're _dead_," he snarled with a dark savagery under his breath. "_Deader_," he smirked as an afterthought. "There's _no more fucking treaty_. _Ever_. got that?"

Carlisle nodded urbanely and folded his hands in front of him looking like a properly castigated child. Sam wanted to rip off that civil and sophisticated expression right then and there.

So did Paul, apparently.

With no further word or acknowledgement, Paul turned abruptly on his heel and briskly pushed past the cowering stewardess. "Fucking jack up the heat. _All the way up_," he growled out of the side of his mouth as he stalked to the plane holding his mate with a tenderness that was in direct conflict with the fury in his stride.


	35. Chapter 34 Bonds

'

**34 - Bonds**

'

Jacob pressed the "end" button on his cell phone and cracked his knuckles against the device anxiously as he paced back and forth in front of Bella's house.

_They were on their way. _

His dad and Emily had gone to meet them at the airport in the battered old white van that belonged to the high school. The entire Pack was waiting.

Like they had been doing for the last three days.

Endless waiting.

They were now, in human form, perched on the steps, on the porch, leaning against the old stump in the yard – looking like a flock of hungry crows from one of those B-movies Bella and he used to watch on Saturday afternoons.

Jacob rubbed his face with his hand at such a poignant thought as he sighed dejectedly. The innocence of those days could never be recovered.

Before wolves. Before vampires. Before the world was such a frightening and violent place.

A strident anxiety stretched the damp, chilly Spring thin and tight. It was suffocating. And the Pack's deeply troubled state had been the perfect excuse to bow out of joining his dad for the trip to the airport. Jacob knew he didn't have Billy fooled for a moment, though.

They both knew that Jacob was really simply afraid of losing control.

The general distress of the Pack ramped up his own wolf accordingly and piled on top of his already burgeoning protective and frustrated rage. Every last wolf wanted blood. And lots of it. Three days of no sleep and watchful waiting didn't help matters much either.

But they had all been surprised by the simple, congenital power of the Pack that ran deep and potent in every one of their veins – usually neglected and suppressed to the best their human ability. Having one of their own abducted and worse – and two of their frontline on the offensive – had left every single one of the Pack debilitated in frenzied agitation.

It had instinctively awakened the most profound aspects of their shared bonds and brought them together. Inexorably.

The whole Pack had pretty much stayed in wolf form over these days – close to each other, splayed out over Emily's living room in a big furry pile. It had soothed the lupine instinct - and it was as close as its human counterpart was going to get to any peace at all. With no biting comments bent on soothing uncomfortable human sensibilities, they had each and every one simply accepted the wolf. As a group they came to the profound realization that they were indeed neither _human_ nor _separate_ any more, and that by trying to pretend to be, they crippled their very souls. Their wolvish, supernatural, aggregate souls.

So they piled nose to tail and shared misery and soft whines.

Like some kind of practiced routine, each head lifted in unison whenever Emily's cell phone rang from where she was crashed out in the tattered, worn easy chair. Their sister; as much a part of the lupine family as those who were whining plaintively over lolling tongues and blinking with sorrowful yellow eyes at her feet. She never spent a second of these agonized, pining, worried days alone. And there were many seconds to be had in three days. Jacob had never really realized just _how_ many. Until he had counted.

Now human – as the rest of them - Jacob's hands were trembling, his stride jerking… he had never been so close to losing control to the wolf. _Ever_.

Sam had phoned with a breathless update from the plane – Paul's heartbreaking lupine mourning keening over the roar of the engines– and Jacob had relayed the story with harsh, bitten words to the rest of the Pack. He hadn't trusted himself to Phase to do it.

He didn't know if he'd have been able beat the wolf back down again.

It was _that_ bad.

Not as bad as it could have been -which was of minimal comfort to them all - but Bella was beaten and broken… and of course, so was Paul.

And by virtue of their very natures, the Pack was too. Jacob could feel it in the very marrow of his bones.

Sensing eyes on him, Jacob turned and found Leah watching him intently from the stairs. She glanced down meaningfully at his hands which were fisted and vibrating with a promise of violence and an impending Phase. Her black eyes were steady and understanding and it made Jacob pause. He and Leah had curled at the foot of Emily's chair all these days, resting muzzle on ruff while their brothers piled around them. Touching, always touching.

The sound of the old spluttering van in the distance made Jacob's head whip around. And he mused that it would have made an interesting scene, all seven heads turning in unison to no clue that a human would sense.

A human like Sue. She bolted up in alarm, wringing her quivering hands in the chill of the Washington Spring from where she sat on the old chair on the porch beside Seth.

"They're coming, Ma," he explained putting an arm around her and trying to warm the slight woman.

Thank God Sue was an experienced nurse practitioner – a doctor without degree Harry had always said – who had run the clinic on the Rez pretty much single handedly for years. Her expertise was the only hope Bella had to stay home. All three on the plane agreed that a sterile hospital with people she didn't know would not be the best place for Bella to heal. For reasons not entirely just Pack-centric and selfish, Jacob agreed.

As the van, driven cautiously by his father, finally pulled into view down the road, the tremors in Jacob's limbs became full-blown spasms. He gulped down the racing, heaving breaths that struggled to burst through his chest.

_Shit, he really was gonna lose it._

Siphoning off the excess steam from the entire pack like some kind of safety valve had worn Jacob down – lineage be damned. After that battle and the endless trauma that came after…

Now _Bella_.

It was just too much… _too goddamn fucking much_. For the wolf as well as the man.

A harsh punch in his bicep made Jacob snarl reflexively as he whipped around.

Leah tossed her head with that habitual, efficient snap that threw her bobbed hair back from her face. "Hang tight, Chief," she gave him an irreverent smirk. "S'not time for the puppy pile yet."

It was just the distraction he'd needed.

Jacob expelled a breath of relief through his nose.

"C'mere chica," he grumbled grabbing her by the arm with the kind of roughness he could with her constitution and pulling her in front of him. He rested his big hands on her shoulders and absently kneaded the muscles. It was enough to soothe the choking angst so he could draw a full breath into his lungs. His wolf loved the way she smelled. Jacob did too, for that matter.

The van pulled into the crunching gravel of the driveway and Jared, Quil and Embry were by Jacob's side in an instant, waiting anxiously for instructions.

"Help them," Jake growled low, his hands stilling on Leah's shoulders and inadvertently squeezing hard with the return flood of his angst. Good thing she could take it.

Like it was choreographed, without a word, one boy pulled the chair out of the back of the van as the other approached to assist Billy, Jared going round the side to pull open the sliding door.

Sam popped out, turning to lift Emily down and the tension in the air pulled taut like a noose. Charlie hopped down from the passenger side and panned the group with eyes that looked a hundred years old while hands were being offered through the side door again.

It was as if the Pack held a collective breath as Paul nimbly ducked out of the vehicle and straightened with his immutable presence and intensity. A bundle of blankets was clutched tenderly, possessively, fearfully to his chest.

_A tiny, frail bundle._

_Far too tiny and frail to be Bella._

Jacob gasped – he could _feel_ the depths of his Pack mate's suffering.

A strident howl pierced the air like a needle and pulled cleanly through the cloudy afternoon, long and lamenting like a subsequent thread.

Jacob tore his worried gaze from the scene before him.

"Brady!" he barked, releasing Leah's shoulders and turning on the wolf with bared teeth. The emotionality of the Pack had been too much for their newest cub. But he had to be kept in line.

The salt and pepper animal, danced with lupine distress on its paws in the middle of the shredded clothing, silencing its howl in a pitiful whimper.

It looked from its Alpha back to Sam and Paul and yelped once plaintively.

Jacob's gaze darted back to them. Sam had pushed Emily instinctively behind him, and Paul was just rising from a snarling crouch.

He turned back to see the cub hesitantly venturing toward them in a submissive crouch, its tail pitifully between its legs. His wolf was desperate to reconnect – and the human had no control. Jacob understood a lot more about their wolves now after such a salient ordeal, the Pack had profoundly changed with that knowledge even in these last three days.

He met Sam's furrowed frown of confusion.

"He just needs to scent you, see you're okay," Jacob murmured soothingly, watching his velvet words roll over each and every taut shoulder.

With a nod of understanding, Sam reaching out his hand to the beast, even while still pushing Emily back protectively beside Charlie.

"We all do," Jacob added quietly. Wolves were such physical creatures and they were all just beginning to truly understand. The Pack needed to assure that their brothers and sister were well and returned. A reconnection of sorts. Those casual "cool" shoulder bumps as they switched patrol shifts, those brief nuzzles and nips while running, even the rough boyish tussles. They had been doing it all along, but not realizing it. And right now, after all that had happened to their Pack mates, it was a frenzied compulsion that was barely tempered.

Jacob knew this for a fact because he felt it right now like knife in his back. His best friend. _Bella_.

He needed to see her. _Touch_ her.

The rest of the Pack had slipped off the stairs, drifted around the car and were subtly drawing near the group. They couldn't help it.

Jacob stood his ground and clenched his jaw watching as the young wolf, shuffled toward them, stretching out its muzzle to rest on the back of Sam's hand with a soft lupine whine. With passively flattened ears, Brady snuffled up Sam's arm and over his chest, cowering when Sam batted it casually away from his crotch.

He looked up and rolled his eyes knowingly at Jake. All the young ones did that until the human side could fully control them when they Phased.

Satisfied by the brief examination, the wolf moved toward Paul, its head cowering in submission in the face of his innate intimidation. Like the dominant he was, he peeled his teeth back from his canines in silent warning, and Brady's tail shot between its legs as the animal scrabbled backwards fearfully. They had always thought Paul to be simply savage – the roughest one of them all – but really he was just the most _real_. He understood his wolf, and didn't make excuses.

At that moment, Paul swayed shockingly and was caught by the lightning reflexes of Jared as all eyes snapped to him in concern.

"They need to rest. There'll be time for catching up later," Jacob boomed to the pack – and to himself - taking concerned steps forward as Jared and Quil quickly ducked under each of Paul's shoulders.

His attention snapped back to that bundle in Paul's arms and Jacob stuffed his hands in his pockets to stop them from shaking.

Taking a deep breath he glanced back at Sue who had been watching the brief interchange from the steps. With a furrowed brow, she now approached her eyes trained on the group with efficient attentive assessment.

As the other two men helped Paul toward the house, he met Jacob's gaze with grim, tired eyes that spoke leagues directly to Jacob's very soul. Inside Paul was burned barren, ravaged - like acres of forest after a wildfire. Such intimate and searing torment made Jacob respectfully avert his eyes. Sam followed at his side, his arm wrapped around Emily whose worried gaze was locked on Paul and Bella.

Both Sam and Paul tolerated the subtle, silent hands of the Pack as they made their way toward the house, brushing light fingers over their arms, their shoulders – a validating, human touch that soothed the wolves, Jacob knew – but when Embry's hand slipped to the blankets in Paul's arms, the man growled in ominous, vicious warning.

Jacob snarled in empathy, as a tremor rippled through his body. _Hold it together._

"Come _on_ assholes! Let's get them inside!" Leah barked and stepped forward holding her hand out to her cousin. "C'mon, Em."

She tugged the woman gently out of the knot of wolves, to Sam's utter shock and amazement. Leah, of course, pretended to ignore him, except to slap away his hand in order to capture Emily's. Apparently slaps were acceptable as "soothing physical contact" for the wolf too. But she couldn't hide the truth behind the gesture. Even to Sam.

The pressure relieved ever so slightly by the amusing interplay, a ghost of a smirk twisted Jacob's lips as Sam's surprised gaze locked on his.

If there was one benefit to this whole trauma, it was that the solidifying of the Pack. Which included a fledgling healing between the two cousins. It was even hard for the human side of Leah to stay pissed at someone when you watched her cry herself to sleep for three nights in a row from where you lounged on her floor as a wolf.

Paul stumbled weakly again, and in two strides Jacob's trembling body was before them, the others peeling back unconsciously at the agitation of their Alpha. Jacob bumped shoulders briefly with his Second as he made his way to Paul, clasping his shoulder warmly, subtly steadying him. Wishing he could do more. The desperation, the torment in Paul's eyes was held out to Jacob with no attempts at subversion, and Jake swallowed thickly.

With a deferential bob of his head, he reached out with a hand that shook like a leaf, Jacob ghosted them over Bella's tightly bound body, pulling the blankets delicately away from her cheek which rested over Paul's heart.

Jacob's entire world imploded. Bella. His sister, his Pack mate. His best friend. _The one he had promised to protect. _Her face was mottled with deep bruising, gaunt, and deathly pale. And still.

So very still.

"_Jesus_," Jacob spat in a whisper and then swallowed the bile that rose in his throat.

"You okay?" Paul croaked in a hoarse voice as Jacob's hands automatically snaked around the bundle to take her into his arms.

Jacob looked up with hollow, hot eyes and nodded curtly. The tremors, the edgy threat of the Phase had been instantly and completely doused by a bone breaking grief. If his mind had been coherent, Jacob might have been surprised - or even touched and grateful - that Paul was _able_ , never mind willing, to hand his mate over. But Jacob was consumed by concern for the feather-light bundle that was gingerly transferred into his arms.

As if holding his mate had been the only glue cementing his very being together, the instant Paul released her into Jacob's arms, the man crumbled to the ground on his knees, head bowed in despair.

In retrospect, Jacob might wish he had offered him some words of comfort or gratitude, but at that moment the feel of Bella in his arms, the scent of her suffering, the frailty of her body simply overcame any sense at all.

Jacob turned on his heel and met Sue's intense gaze. "Get her inside," was her clipped directive.

Without know how he got there, Jacob was suddenly pushing open the front door to a house that he'd known all his life, Sue and others trailing after. The memories crashed over him like a tsunami as Jacob hastened up the claustrophobic wooden staircase to her bedroom. He laid her carefully out over the pristine white sheet of the bed that he had spent many a night holding her. Just holding her.

They were comfortably the poignant, profound memories of family now. Memories that should never have been tainted by … _this_.

Stretching her body out, Jacob wiped his hands on his shorts and turned with uncertainty, just as Sue hastened into the room, followed by Charlie.

Sue quickly and efficiently checked over the supplies on the desk. They had pushed all of Bella's things to the sides of the room and readied it just for _this_.

Just for _this_…

The rage that he had run on for the past days, drained in an instant, revealing a frightening emptiness and fear. Jacob pushed back from the bed with the slow creeping shock, as Sue carefully peeled back the top two layers blankets revealing Bella's thin arm bandaged in an amateurish brace of gauze and what looked like a rolled up shirt - her hand swollen angrily and black and blue.

As Sue uncovered more, Jacob's breath caught in his throat as his eyes ran over her battered body, clothed in a torn, bloodied dress whose scent told the painfully vivid story to lupine senses of what had happened:

_That man… that vampire… that __thing__… had overpowered her, molested her…spilled his lust over her struggling body, even while he drained the life coursing through her veins. _

The harsh, brutal, unfiltered reality of what she had experienced _alone_ and without the physical ability to fight back – the struggle, the horror, the terror – hit Jacob like a sledgehammer to his heart and he doubled over with a spasmodic and strangled groan.

'

'

Emily pulled away from her cousin and skidded to kneel before Paul.

"Paul, honey," she whispered, reaching out a tentative and tender hand to his cheek.

Paul shook her off and hunched over farther.

Emily folded her hands in her lap and looked up helplessly to Sam's grim expression. She knew he understood how Paul was feeling. How many times had she seen Sam exactly this despondent over what had accidentally happened between them?

And she'd never once in this whole year even come close to figuring out how to fix it.

"Paul?" she murmured again. "She'll be okay-"

Paul jerked his head up angrily, making Sam take several threatening steps toward them.

Emily shook her head minutely to her mate and returned her gaze to the glistening, maniacal eyes of undiluted agony.

His lips quivered – pulling back and forth from baring his teeth in a visual war with himself. "Em-… I-…she.." he choked in a guttural sob.

"Honey… she's _strong_. Look at me," she pressed with a silken dictate. "_Look_ at me."

Paul's rabid eyes focused suddenly, his brow pinching in confusion at her tone.

Emily smiled sadly. "Look at me honey," she said softer this time, turning her scarred cheek meaningfully toward him. "I understand. _We_ understand," she added glancing up at Sam, hoping he was hearing this too.

Paul licked his lips as his nostrils flared with his hitching breath.

"It _hurts_. And it _will_ hurt. But she's _okay_ – she's here with you now. With _us_ now," Emily's brow dipped as she tried to convey her soul-felt sincerity with her eyes. "Looking back's not going to change the past, honey. But I know…I _know_… she wants to be here with you. _Right now_. With the past, with your present and your future together. With **you**, Paul. _However_ she got here." Emily swallowed thickly as her heart bled into her voice, making it hoarse. "It's such a gift, Paul. Your mate… is such a precious _gift_… ," she glanced up to Sam. "And sometimes you have to pay for precious things."

Her gaze returned to where Paul was trying to hiccup his breath under control. She knew this would be the hardest time for him. For them all. After the adrenaline, the rage, the testosterone had abated, what they were left with was a tangled mess of deep and abiding feelings – some there before, others created – and untangling them and putting them to rest took attention and courage. And time.

"NOOO!" A screeching wail grated the falling dusk with a clawing hoarseness.

Like lightning, Paul had sprung from the ground over Emily's head with a whoosh of air that pulled at her hair.

"Oh, God. Sam!" Emily shrieked fearfully meeting her mate's eyes with her panic as she pushed off the ground.

"Shit," Sam spat as he dashed away on the breeze of Paul's departure.

Her heart in her throat, Emily sprinted toward the house, stumbling blindly up the steps and through the open front door. She clambered up the stairway on hands and feet as the chilling shrieks of pure terror continued, joined now by vicious snarls. It was like being thrown into the soundtrack of a nightmare.

Bella's nightmare.

Gasping, Emily flung herself against the door frame of Bella's room as Sam blocked her from entering with a brusque hand.

Peeking around his shoulders, she saw Paul crouched protectively on the bed over his mate, his feral eyes trained on where Jacob had pushed Sue into the wall, and now covered her with his body.

Jacob was talking quickly. "Paul! She's okay! Sue just touched her – it was just the touch!"

Emily's gaze snapped to Bella, laid out beneath Paul's quivering limbs. Her top laid bare of blankets and dressed in nothing but a bloody, torn dress, it was painfully obvious how wan, starved and beaten she was. Bella's head feebly whipped back and forth –eyes clenched closed - as her shrieks muted to weak whimpers.

"O_h my God_," Emily gasped audibly. She couldn't be prepared for this sight.

Paul's yellow gaze immediately snapped to Emily with that unpredictable mercurial attention of the wolves.

"_Paul! Comfort her_!" Emily cried intuitively.

Immediately Paul froze and his gaze snapped down the woman he was crouched over. With an aching whine, he ducked and tenderly nuzzled into her neck his ripping growls melting into a soothing pining rumble. It was such a volatile and extreme shift that Emily blinked. It was a poignant metaphor for exactly what warred in Paul's breast. And in Sam's.

Bella immediately quieted with a soft shaking sigh, turning blindly into Paul's touch as he wrapped his arms around her.

The tension in the room instantly relaxed and fluttered like cut ribbons, but outside strident howls now took over the ghastly chorus. Emily ducked under Sam's arm.

His warm, soothing palm fell down on her shoulder as passed. "You're brilliant," he whispered by her ear.

Emily turned to brush her lips over his cheek indulgently – she couldn't help it – as she stepped into the room.

"You alright, Sue?" Emily reached out to take the hand of the woman who nodded with a brave purse to her lips. _Thank God for Sue._ How many times had the whole Pack said that?

"I need to find out what-… what _else_ is broken," she spoke with an efficient and undaunted voice. "And I don't want to give her any kind of sedative because-"

"Your hands!" Emily interrupted suddenly, as she turned Sue's palm over in her own. They were like ice. It was cold outside, she was nervous: of _course_ they were. She turned and called to the general room, "It's Sue's hands – they're _cold_! Like …" she left the sentence unfinished. No one in that room had any trouble connecting the dots on that one. And no one wanted to hear the word 'vampire' or any of its epithets again for a long, long time. How about _never_.

Sue drew in a deep breath of understanding. "Oh, _no_. I didn't think about that."

Charlie stepped in and wrapped a comforting arm around the woman's shoulders. "Not your fault, Suzie. It's a right crazy world a' new rules with our bunch – got that much figured out first hand. Let's go run 'em under some hot water in the bathroom," he comforted his old friend.

Emily was glad to hear Charlie so at ease and accepting and... and part of the Pack. That would go a long way toward in healing many broken bonds.

Emily turned back to where Jacob and Sam were watching Paul. He had covered Bella again in the blankets and stretched out along side her, tenderly stroking her forehead. She was peaceful again– well, that wasn't the word – but she was resting, her face lax and turned toward him, her breath evening back to slow.

Emily blew her breath into her cheeks as the adrenaline ebbed and Sam stepped to her side and wrapped his strong, loving arms around her. She couldn't wait until tonight. She had missed him so. There weren't even words for how happy she was just to feel his touch again. She wanted to strip and stretch out over his silky, warm body and listen to his heartbeat for hours. And hours-

"Get them out, Em," Paul's hushed husky voice made Emily start from her blissful fantasy. "All the males _out_," he rasped under his breath. His gaze was locked on Bella's cheek from where he lay beside her on the pillow, his forehead pressed to her temple as his finger brushed down her nose.

Emily squeezed Sam's hand silently and he reluctantly released her.

Jacob immediately turned his back too, meeting her eyes with a traumatized and anguished expression. _Poor Jake._ He had had a rough welcome to his destiny. But then again, so had Sam. So had they all. And Paul now sat steeping in his own personal hell. She had been his first hint of happiness in an already cruel life ... and now _this_.

Jacob's gaze mirrored those exact thoughts. She reached out and squeezed his arm sympathetically as he passed her.

"Send Leah, kay? And don't worry, Jake." Emily glanced toward the window and the long lamenting howls still lacing the afternoon. "Just take care of your Pack…"

"_They are_ my Pack," Jacob murmured soberly, tipping his head toward the couple on the bed and holding her gaze with unfathomable eyes.

Pressing her lips together and nodding once, Emily sadly bowed her head as Jacob slipped silently down the stairs.

She turned back to the suffering in the room and bit her lip against threatening tears.

They were her Pack too.

'

'


	36. Chapter 35 Alone

'

35- (Not) Alone

'

The bed shook gently with Paul's violent tremors. He was trying to relax the twitching muscles by sprawling his torso out on the mattress – arms resting over Bella – while the rest of him spilled out of the kitchen chair they had brought up for him.

But it was no good. The wooden legs of the chair chattered against the hardwood floor. Paul folded his arms under his cheek, worried for the way they trembled against her still, bony body.

Five days. Five fucking days. He hadn't phased since he had torn that motherfucking _thing_ apart and his wolf was railing and flailing against his hold.

But Paul wouldn't leave her. Not even to run.

Each second ticked by blithely with the roughness of a kitchen grater and whittled away yet another layer of his tenuous control. Of his heart. Of his soul. It was now digging relentlessly into the tender quick.

The image in his mind played over and over. Just a second – literally a second – but it would dwell within him for a lifetime. That monster, crushing Bella's quivering body up the wall, its mouth gulping audibly at her throat, its hips pumping in lurid anticipation as a hand fumbled with a pant zipper.

It took only a second to cross that room and rip him off her. But less than that to burn it indelibly into his brain.

No, he wouldn't leave her. Not ever again.

Paul's head jerked up from the bed at the Sue's first footfall on the stair. He drew in a shaky breath and pulled his aching, quivering body upright as the telltale sound of running water in the bathroom whispered across the hall.

Since that first afternoon, Sue had judiciously made sure her hands were veritably steaming before coming within a foot of his mate. Bella hadn't freaked out like that again, but some sick part of Paul almost wished she would. _Almost_. Anything seemed better than lying so deathly still. So deeply submerged in whatever private hell she was reliving that he couldn't even _feel_ her.

Even though she lay less than a foot away. If he had ever doubted life's cruelty – which he hadn't – he certainly didn't now.

Five whole fucking days… _alone_.

And alone was a very dangerous place for him to be.

The loose tatters of hope were slipping through his fingertips to the winds of passing time. The suspicion that maybe the trauma and his subsequent failures had simply _broken_ their bond had simmered under layers of angst, but now worked its way to the surface in a rolling boil.

Since the first second he had imprinted, he had been terrified that he would fuck it up irreparably – though Sam had assured him it wasn't possible. But now it was looking like, as always, Paul had found the singular way to ruin even something as sacrosanct as this.

The faucet silencing, made Paul's head turn toward the door in anticipation.

Dispensing with the useless human ritual of knocking, the door was opened slowly and Sue peeked in the way she always did: with an expression that was ridiculously hopeful. The only thing that had changed over the last four days was Paul's position at her bedside.

"Hi Paul," she greeted in a hushed voice as if not wanting to wake Bella, when in reality that's exactly what they all wanted to do. "Any changes?" she asked.

Paul wanted to bitterly laugh in her face, but instead he merely shook his head tersely. He knew she was actually asking about Bella's vital signs, heartbeat. She had asked him to look out for any anomalies in rhythm or speed, respiration and pulse. Who needed the annoying beep of a machine when the best organic monitor sat omnipresent at her side?

With a quick nod, she pushed into the room. "Well that's a good thing," she murmured. "No change is better than one in the wrong direction." She was trying to be optimistic, Paul supposed.

Leah was hot on her tail, as she always was. And it wasn't some mother-daughter bond that compelled her to do so. Paul was certain she had been ordered by Jacob or Sam or both to always accompany either Sue or Emily or both on their visits. Like a bodyguard, he thought wryly. Paul didn't blame them, he didn't trust himself either.

But today, when the women fully entered the room, the musky, pungent scent of male wafted in with them. Paul shot up off the chair so quickly that it violently hit the wall with a crash as a low growl of warning ripped from his chest.

Sue froze in shock, eyes wide and worried, as Leah pushed her mother behind her in an instant.

In the next heartbeat the scent truly hit his nose, and he recognized the sultry, virile undertones of sex. A lover's mark, no more.

Jacob's, to be exact.

His posture relaxed infinitesimally, as his quizzical gaze snapped to Leah, who was standing protectively in front of Sue with a "_I fucking dare you_" glint in her eye.

_No male. Bella is safe_, his wolf immediately stood down.

Releasing a long breath through his cheeks as his shoulders caved, Paul wordlessly turned to pick up the chair with slow, exacting movements bent on hiding the tremor in his hands. He didn't even have it in him to find humor in the situation… or sarcasm… or taunt. The only thought that ghosted through his weary mind was that he was glad they were going to give it a try. They both deserved to be happy… somebody did.

"Paul?" Sue's voice raised in worry. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he shook his head and the collapsed it in his trembling hands, propping his elbows on his knees to try and steady them. "It's… nothing," he sighed and then met her concerned gaze, giving up trying to still his hands by letting them fall between his thighs, out of sight. "Sorry."

With a confused glance to Leah, Sue nodded and came into the room, absently rubbing her hands together in warming overkill. Paul was grateful.

Now came the hard part.

Familiar with the routine by now, Sue approached the bed with a calm and measured step. Paul leaned as far back in the chair as he could, sitting on his hands, as he focused on his breath. His entire body began to shudder. Well, shudder even more.

At Bella's side, she glanced up again at him with assessing eyes, before she slowly reached out a hand to check the IV disappearing under the skin of her hand nearest Paul. They all knew he had a hard time watching _anyone_ touch Bella. His wolf was rabidly and indiscriminately protective of his vulnerable mate and Paul had to focus everything he had to keep the tumbling growls that were battering his soul from escaping audibly.

After several minutes of gentle, efficient - and hasty, _thank God for Sue_ - examinations, she took a step back and looked up at Paul.

Paul pressed his lips together expectantly.

"She continues to heal at an amazing rate – almost the like a wolf. I'll leave the brace on, but the bones in her hands are knitted. Her blood pressure has recovered. I would guess the cracks in her ribs and pelvis are healed too, though I can't be sure of course. Her BMI is still far too low, but we won't be able to get that up on the IV. She'll have to eat," Sue paused with a pitiful attempt at a smile. "Her body is nearly healed."

Paul closed his eyes as he nodded and then let his head hang. This was awesome news, but news he had expected based on the previous days increasingly awed and positive examinations.

"Wh-when is she going to wake up?" he murmured to the floor, knowing she couldn't give him an answer, but asking anyway.

Sue didn't answer, but he heard her soft footfall nearing and Paul looked up in confusion. Sue was cautiously walking around the foot of the bed toward him like she was approaching a rabid animal – because she was - Leah following like a shadow. Pausing, the woman turned and placed her hand meaningfully on her huge daughters forearm, staying her.

Sue continued her trajectory around to Paul's side of the bed.

Paul sat up a bit straighter. Sue had never veered outside of the clipped, clinical reports and brief visits.

She sat gingerly on the foot of the mattress – still a good distance away - and folded her hands in her lap as she pursed her lips, regarding him.

Paul held her gaze stoically without comment or flinch.

Sue licked her lips, her eyes locked with Paul's. "You know she should have died from her injuries that night, don't you?" she asked quietly.

Paul's gaze darted between her intense and serious eyes. "She did," he whispered.

Sue nodded. "Her heart stopped, true… and it shouldn't have started again." She paused, letting the weight of that statement settle over him. "But you saved her life. _You_ did," she paused cocking her head as if appraising whether her meaning was sinking into his thick skull.

It wasn't. Paul grimaced bitterly and his gaze fell to the floor between them.

"You've done a phenomenal job of healing her, Paul. _Phenomenal_. Injuries like hers should have taken a month or more," she paused again and waited until he looked back up. "But you have to take care of _yourself_, now. You need to _eat_. _Sleep_," Sue fiddled with the wedding ring she still wore absently as was her habit. "She's going to need you even more when she wakes up. You. Not your bond, or the wonderful magic you share as imprints. _Paul_. The man."

Paul swallowed as his gaze darted restlessly to the bed. "What happens if she never does.." Paul swallowed. "…wake up."

"She will, son. She will. My medical training can't help her through what is happening right now," she mused in a hushed voice.

Paul turned back to her sharply, his chronic shakes stilling suddenly in rapt attention.

"She's not in a _biological_ coma… she had no head injury, no brain trauma … She is healthy – well, as healthy as can be expected. I don' t know if its exhaustion from the unnatural healing, part of the magic…or something else," Sue's gaze drifted up to rest on Bella's still features. "_But_ - if I had to guess – I think she hasn't waked up yet because she's… " She paused licking her lips as she tried to find the right word. "She's _lost_. Her mind shut down to protect itself… and she just needs to find her way back. But she will." Her eyes snapped back to him. "She has _you_ to come back to." Sue's gaze bored into his with unapologetic sincerity.

He had never once over these days seen this side of Sue. All of her interactions with him had been professional, focused, practical. Right now she suddenly seemed personal … _caring_.

But Paul didn't care. He hung his head as a wave of tremors washed over his body. That was exactly what he was afraid of. That she didn't want to come back to … _him_. That she wouldn't. He wasn't good enough… or something. He squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head dolefully.

"Look Paul, I know-"

Paul abruptly raised his hand, interrupting her. "Just… just _don't_," he whispered. He didn't need her trite pity or superficial concern. He just wanted to be alone.

_Alone_ Like he was used to.

With a soft smack of her lips, Sue stood, hesitating uncomfortably. When Paul obstinately refused to look up again, she sighed and turned to leave.

"We'll come back this afternoon, Paul. Rest, eat," she reminded quietly – her voice resigned.

Paul ignored her, and reached out his fingers and touched Bella's cool, inert hand.

"I'm gonna stay a sec, Ma, 'kay?" Paul heard Leah murmur.

He drew in a deep breath and released it slowly in instant aggravation.

The door shut with a click and he kept his eyes stubbornly trained on the floor. Eventually Leah expelled a melodramatically impatient sigh.

Paul looked up with a scowl. "Whaddaya want, Lee?"

"You need to Phase, dude," she blurted with no preamble.

The statement surprised him. He had expected more simpering sissy sympathy. Paul frowned, "I'm _not_ leaving her."

"Did I say anything about _leaving_ her, dickwad? I just said you have to _Phase_. Look at you – you look like some fuckin' chronic," Leah snorted jerking her chin toward where his hand bounced on the bed like it was sitting on a washing machine in the spin cycle. "It's been five fucking days… and _you've_ never even made it through one. Or _a half_, for that matter."

Paul rolled his eyes and sat back, crossing his arms over chest, feeling more comfortable in this familiar territory. He jutted his chin out defiantly, pointedly ignoring the way the chair rattled against the floor.

"My mom's right – _Jesus_, don't tell her I said that," Leah clapped a hand humorously over her mouth. "You gotta take care of _your _sorry ass now. Otherwise how the hell are you going to keep giving her all that boo-boo juice."

"Like the _juice_ Jake's been giving you?" he deflected sarcastically with smirk.

"Shit, I knew even all fucked up you'd have to say _something_," Leah snorted with a long-suffering roll to her eyes.

"Hey, it woulda been way worse," Paul reminded her helpfully.

"Hell, don't you think _I know?_… that's why I gotta get me some while I have the chance here," Leah waved her hand nonchalantly toward him and Bella with a humorous lift to her brow.

Paul sniffed a chuckle. This was the first that someone hadn't tippy toed on egg shells around him. Certainly the first to make light of the situation.

Sick? Yeah, _it was Leah_. Helpful?… actually kinda. She normalized it. And him.

His smirk softened. "_If_ I didn't have my reputation to think about, I'd tell you I'm actually happy for you. You guys could be good."

Leah laughed and mimed sticking a finger down her throat.

Paul arched a reproving brow. "But _I do_, so I'll just say I'm psyched because the more he's on _your_ ass, the less that fucking Alpha's on _mine_," he leered wickedly.

Leah groaned. "You're such a prick, you know that?"

Something in him froze up. His shoulders fell and he sighed, looking over at the bed suddenly serious. "Yeah, I do."

Leah took several more steps toward him, the concern in her eyes belying her light teasing tone. "Aww …poor baby."

Paul rolled his eyes and rubbed his face with his shaking hands.

"Dude, you'll feel better if you Phase. I swear. While you guys were gone, we learned a shitload more about all this stuff," Leah pressed. "C'mon, you're smooth… there's enough room. Hell, the wolf can protect her even bett-"

The chair scraped against the floor as Paul stood up with a vicious growl. _She'd gone too far. _

Flinching at his wrath, Leah grimaced apologetically, but didn't cower. The girl could be annoying as shit, but she had balls, he'd give her that.

Giving him a moment to settle, she continued relentlessly. "_C'mon_," she whined. "I even asked Jake to keep everyone from Phasing till tonight - so you're home free... Except maybe for Brady –and you'll have a fucking field day with that one..he's gay."

Paul looked up in surprise.

"Yep, gotta long-term boy, though. Or _had_ before this," she sighed in empathy.

Paul pursed his lips. Actually gay guys didn't freak Paul out in the least. No competition, no dominant challenge. They just didn't register on his radar. To each his own.

Leah continued on without pause. "So look man... you gotta start dealing with this shit and-"

"_Look Lee_," he mimicked her. "I don't need your fucking pity party … just _go_," Paul raked his hands through his hair in irritation.

"Don't be such a goddamn stubborn douchebag!" Leah groaned and then paused putting a thoughtful finger to her lips. "Oh wait, I'm talking to _Paauul_," she drew his name out sarcastically.

Paul bared his teeth with a sharp petulant snap of his jaws.

Leah batted her eyelashes with an exaggerated grin and switched tactics. "Don't you want me to _leave_? _Phase_…and I _swear_ I'll leave and not come back until Ma. And I won't say another word."

"Now _that's_ a fucking offer I can't refuse!" Paul spat, huffing and ambling around to the foot of the bed as Leah backed up accordingly with a triumphant smirk, still watching him with a careful eye. She might have guts, but she wasn't stupid.

With another sullen growl for good measure, Paul peeled off his tee shirt and stretched his arms up to the ceiling, pressing his palms against the prickly finish as he flexed his muscles. Glancing again at the bed, he jerked his chin to Leah who caught his drift easily and accommodated, hopping up to perch on the foot of the bed.

Between him and Bella.

He shed his shorts and fell forward onto four paws in one smooth movement.

And like he had been wadded up into a tight ball all this time and finally briskly shaken out, his entire being relaxed into freedom. With a low purr of pleasure the wolf stretched his claws out, one at a time, as he arched his back.

Then he turned his yellow eyes on Leah. A rumbling growl of warning rolled in his chest as the beast bared fang in displeasure. The wolf didn't like that she was between him and his mate.

Leah seemed to intuitively understand and without a word, she immediately scooted to the side of the bed, hopping lightly to the floor.

Raising its muzzle to the air, the wolf sniffed and took the two slinking steps to the bed as a plaintive whine pooled in his chest.

His focus completely on his mate, Paul was surprised by the gentle touch on the ruff of his neck. The animal's huge head snapped to the side to growl menacingly at Leah. She lithely dodged the large snarling muzzle.

The wolf turned fully on her, staring her down with a burning gaze of annoyance. But oddly Leah tucked her head and averted her eyes. Her yielding appeasement instantly doused the instinctive need to control, and the wolf's agitation comfortably fizzled.

Waiting for several moments for the wolf to acclimate, without looking up – and carefully avoiding eye contact - she leaned in slowly to the wolf's massive head and rubbed her cheek over the jaw of the beast. First once, twice, then three times nuzzling roughly in a very lupine gesture of comfort. All the anger and indignation drained out of Paul with the pining whine that followed.

In response, Leah purred reassuringly deep in her chest and Paul felt his angst slip soothingly lax.

Continuing to bump the wolf's head with her cheek, her hands stroked the ruff of its neck and Paul huffed out a long sigh of yearning and comfort.

She had been right. Something _deep_ within him was innately soothed by the caring touch of his Pack mate.

Something deep, unexamined and wild.

He realized he hadn't felt _anyone's_ touch since that first day, when every last of the Pack had made sure he – or she – had placed a hand on him somewhere. He hadn't had the strength to understand the interactions that day, but hadn't objected for some reason; he had chalked it up to fatigue. But _today_… today he suddenly understood.

Pack. _His_ Pack.

Leah drew back, eyes still averted, posture cowering passively, communicating indisputably that she posed neither threat nor challenge… and the wolf relaxed.

They _had_ learned a lot.

The wolf shook out its pelt and leaned in to snuffled her neck, nudging her with its cold nose, and licking up the side of her face in acceptance.

Only then, did Leah pull back and meet his eyes.

The expression on her face stunned Paul so soundly that for a several seconds he completely lost the tight rein he kept on his wolf; it was a good thing Leah had so thoroughly kowtowed to his wolf's dominance.

Paul had never seen such an unguarded, earnest expression in her eye. And she held it out to him open, vulnerable, _caring_… considering him for a long, unhurried moment.

In a contrastingly very human gesture, her fingers reached out to tip toe up the wolf's snout as she smiled sadly and cocked her head.

"You're not alone, bro," she whispered.

Without another word, she turned and slipped out the door.

'

'

The wolf's ears pricked up at the rushing trilling babble of the human speech downstairs. It's ears tented and rustled the sheets as they turned to capture the sounds. A low petulant growl rumbled in its chest as it pressed its nuzzle back to its mate's side and inhaled deeply. It didn't want to give rein back to the man.

Not yet.

He had relaxed that pervasive choking, suffocating hold so that the wolf could relish the bliss of being at its mate's side – where the man couldn't. Where the man was torn and tormented, the wolf was ecstatic to assiduously snuffle over every millimeter of her body taking immaculate inventory over and over. To nuzzle gently under her hand – strapped in something hard that the wolf wanted to tear off with its teeth… but didn't – and stay there, relishing its feel on its snout. To root carefully under the heavy blankets until cool nose had met with warm, sweet side and bask in the delectable, soothing scent of his mate.

And wait.

She would come back to them eventually – the wolf didn't' worry about things like the future – but until then it was content to rest its massive head on the bed under the blankets by her side, breathing her scent in with each inhale.

It was only after they had bathed their mate, and then dressed her in one of the man's large tee shirts that the wolf had been able to stop insistently clawing at the him, shredding his insides in the process of trying to get out – flailing against the hateful scent of enemy, the foul stench of violation, and their mate's stale terror.

When their brothers and sister had banished such abomination with the cleansing acrid smell of flame – burning that dress and the sheets just outside the window where they could smell it – the wolf had finally been content to just collapse beside her and revel in the draw of her next breath, the strong beat of her heart, the soft warmth of her body. But the man was twisted in despair and regret.

The wolf couldn't understand it.

It, of course, wanted their mate to awaken,…. Longed for it, yearned… craved…. to feel her hands twisting into its fur, to hear that soothing melodic voice, to watch her eat to fill her need and body. But until she did that, it was content with just this.

Just this.

Bella. Mate. _Mine_.

But now there were heavy steps clunking up the stairs and the wolf knew he was coming. The man. The one that was safe. Her sire.

It felt the frantic clawing attempts of his man to usurp their body, but the man was weak and the wolf didn't want to go back to that dark, despondent place. The place where it couldn't enjoy each sultry breath of mate, each moment by her side, each beat of her heart. The wolf drew in a long, greedy breath of relish, noting how the musky scent of his man was inexorably wrapped in hers. She wore his clothing, and the wolf approved. Their scents should be mingled, they coalesced perfectly, completing each other in a very satisfying way.

As the steps neared, the muscles in its back jerked and shivered as the wolf pressed itself into the bed, as if crouching against being pulled from where it wanted to be.

It heard the man standing just outside the door. His breath was heavy and nervous. His tension made its hackles prickle. The wolf carefully shimmied out from under the blanket and turned its head toward the door, reflexively peeling back its muzzle from its teeth in silent warning.

Two harsh hits on the door made the animal start, and the wolf whirled completely around crouching defensively between its mate and the sound. The door opened slowly and the wolf flattened its ears menacingly as a low warning rumble turned over in its belly.

"_Jesus Christ_," the man wheezed, his face blanching as he took a quick step back into the hall, the thing in his hand clanking and liquid spilling down from it to drip on the floor. "_Shit_."

The wolf prowled half a step, straightening out and pressing its hind quarters against the bed protectively in such a small space. It lowered its head in a snarl of displeasure. The man held his gaze, which incensed the wolf and made a darkening haze of fury swirl with the ripping growls. He scented of sweet, beguiling fear – the scent that made the wolf want to chase and take down and bite. It took another step forward and the man took another step back.

Ahh… _a chase_. Good…

Another scent grabbed the wolf by the ruff of its neck then and made the animal pause with its compelling allure. It lifted its muzzle and sampled the air again.

_Food_.

The animal's ears perked in interest from where they were plastered threateningly against its head and it sniffed again.

_Food_.

The wolf was _hungry_. So was the man, but he was too stupid to eat. Another sniff – the food was far more enticing than the cloying fear – it could chase down that scent later. It took another step forward.

_Food_.

The man looked at the wolf and then the tray he held in his hand, seeming to understand.

"Ah, yeah. You want this? Emily brought over some food for you…" the man babbled unintelligibly as the wolf took another step forward, attention focused intently on what he held in his hands.

The man was shaking as he set the tray down on the ground, just outside of the door and took several quick steps back, bumping into the wall of the hallway with a thump.

The wolf pounced, jaws immediately snatching the slab of meat from the cool smooth surface of the plate. It threw the food back without chewing, descending again on the tray before it with voracious attention. Licking and slurping the liquid that had spilled over everything – white and cold and creamy – it lapped the smooth surface of the plate and every last drop of whatever was on it with a frenetic tongue.

The wolf was angling its muzzle under the tray – which was scraping against the floor with each lap- to get the last drops of the liquid that had fallen to the ground when it heard the man's clomping footfall again on the stairs.

It snapped up to attention. The wolf had been so engrossed in devouring its meal – all of 30 seconds – that it hadn't noticed the man leave.

But he was coming back again.

Annoyed to be distracted from its attempts to siphon off every last drop of the nourishment splattered on the floor, the wolf pulled its lips back from a surly growl.

"I got more," the man said from where he had stopped on the stairs, balancing a larger pot and a basket of something that smelled sweet and yeasty in his hands, a carton tucked under his arm.

The wolf tipped its nose in the air trying to inhale the very food itself with a huge sucking breath as the man tentatively began again his ascent – pressed cautiously against the far wall.

The wolf took a step back and sat on its haunches to allow the man to come back into the hallway. The scent of fear had been muted to mere nervousness, and the food distracted the animal enough to remember that this one wasn't an enemy. The sire. The sire of his mate.

_With food._

With a whine of impatience, the wolf watched while the man pulled away the empty tray and then hastily pushed forward the large pot and basket.

With a purr of pure pleasure, the wolf's fangs sank into the large chunk of meat, tearing off a portion with the satisfying feel of rending flesh.

'

'

At some point Paul had phased. He wasn't sure when he finally noticed that he was tearing off chunks of meat and shoving them in his face like an animal. An animal in a man's body. The instinct to eat in human form finally must have overridden the wolf's tenacious hold – they always ate as human, probably something to do with the inherent dangers of the pure size differential.

Paul stopped, a fist full of pot roast dripping grease down his arm poised before his ravenous mouth. His eyes darted up to the man sitting awkwardly across the hall, leaned against the wall with his knees pulled up stiffly before him. Paul swallowed the huge mouthful already in his mouth with a sheepish gulp.

"Go ahead. Keep at it, son," Charlie said quietly, his voice unperturbed and soothing.

There it was again. "_Son_." No one had ever called him that that he could remember. No one. _Ever_. Paul let his eyes drop to the slovenly mess before him and then took a less enthusiastic bite from hunk in his hand, actually chewing it this time. His body was starving, he realized and the pure simple compulsion to keep filling it overcame any humiliation or indignity.

He took another bite. And another.

Charlie let his feet stretch out before him as he leaned forward, pushing a carton of milk across the hall and even further with his foot. "Here you go," he encouraged quietly.

Paul glanced up and grabbed the carton of milk in one of his greasy hands, popping the triangle top open with the other. He lifted it and poured it thirstily down his throat, gulping down pretty much the whole quart at one time.

He set it back down on the floor and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, reaching down seamlessly to grab up a roll from the basket. He brought it to his lips and cleaved half of it into his mouth, keeping his disconcerted eyes trained on the floor.

Charlie licked his lips audibly and Paul tucked his head tighter.

"So… ah… I thought it might make it easier to eat if that bouncer of yours weren't starin' over your shoulder. Guess I was right about that," Charlie chuckled.

_Bouncer_?

Paul glanced up from under his lashes silently as he devoured the rest of a roll.

"Suzie's girl s'a tough one. But she' got a good heart," Charlie amended.

_Ah, Leah. The bouncer. Guess that was about right_. Paul sniffed a soft chuckle and grabbed up another roll. Actually it was the _wolf_ that had made it so he could stuff food past his resistant, grieving lips. But that had been Leah's doing too.

For several minutes, the sound of Paul's hungry chews and swallows were the only things marking the uncomfortable minutes.

"Ah… uh… so I never really said nothin'…" Charlie stammered suddenly into the echoing hall. "But … _thank you_. It seems like those words just ain't enough… but I had t'say em, anyways."

Paul's eyes darted again to him from where his head was bowed, crouched over the food. Charlie was staring at him intently with his lips twisted in an uncomfortable grimace that made his mustache crooked.

Nodding curtly, Paul grabbed back up the milk, draining it completely as he tipped his head back.

"And I guess I owe you an apology," he continued.

Paul gasped in a breath from the long draught and licked his lips as he set the carton down. "For what?" he mumbled, his voice fallow and rough.

Charlie rearranged himself against the wall. "Ah… for that day I almost blew your blew yer head off."

A dark chuckled like tar spilled from his lips. "The day you _tried_, you mean. 'Didn't even get close."

Charlie harrumphed and met Paul's challenging gaze with a flustered chagrin. "Yeah… well I didn't know–" he stopped himself. He swallowed, his strained eyes made Paul pause. "Mostly I'm sorry I thought you was anything like that…that _monster_. And that's what I was thinkin' alright."

Paul growled reflexively and tipped his head up to fully face Charlie, his jaw tense. "Yeah, I'm a _different_ kind of monster," he hissed bitterly.

Charlie's offended scowl surprised him. "You ain't no monster," he replied under his breath.

Paul's gaze panned the mess before him meaningfully and then laughed to himself as he picked up another chunk of meat and stuffed it in his mouth, chewing mechanically as he kept his gaze lowered.

"Look, she's my daughter so I can't say I like you or nothing…"

"No one can," Paul interjected through his full mouth, not looking up from where he was toying idly with a roll.

"Now wait _a goddamn minute_. I think I remember hearin' a phone message – maybe a coupla times – " he twisted the words with humor, indicating the hundreds or so times that message was played on the plane. "where _my daughter_ said something kinda like that."

Paul sniffed. "She's the only one." He took another bite of meat.

Charlie groaned in frustration. "You sure don't make it easy, do you son?"

Paul looked up with intensity darkening his gaze. "It _isn't_ easy," he said plainly.

Charlie froze as his gaze darted between Paul's steady eyes. "No, it _ain't_. You got that much right."

Paul let his head hang and turned a roll over in his hand a few times restlessly.

"Paul, I understand a little more than you think," Charlie suddenly said.

Paul's brow dipped but he silently took a bite of the roll, not looking up.

"I was there that night… dunno if'n you remember or not, you bein' what? Six?" Charlie continued quietly.

Paul's chewing slowed. He understood unequivocally what night the man was talking about even if he _didn't_ remember. He didn't remember faces at all that night. Just pain. Paul squeezed his eyes shut.

"I arrested that sonofabitch and I … well I wish I coulda done more," Charlie murmured darkly. "But I wanted you t'know… that I – well… I _understand_. Y'know…what yer goin through."

Paul laughed humorlessly as his lip lifted up in a bitter sneer, keeping his eyes trained on the decimated roast before him. Charlie Swan needed to _shut the fuck up now_. Paul didn't need to hear any patent pity, or ostensible sympathy. Yeah, they _all_ fucking "_understood_"… the social workers, child protective services, the doctors. Oh yeah, they understood real fucking good.

"I had one o' those too," Charlie said so quietly that Paul almost missed it, as he tried to rein in his indignant anger.

Paul stopped chewing and looked up.

"My old man used to beat the shit outta all o' us. Sent my little brother six feet under before he was six," Charlie had dropped his gaze to his boots as he spoke in a hushed monotone that still cracked with pain. "I got the hell outta there as soon as I could. Ain't never been back. 'Specially for that bastard's funeral."

With two more slow chews, Paul swallowed, letting the roll in his hand fall to the tray.

"So yeah, I understand," he whispered quietly.

For a moment there was silence. Only the soft, slow sounds of Bella's breathing smoothing out the seconds.

Charlie looked up then with eyes that overtly reflected conflicting, raw feelings that were very, very familiar to Paul. "So you know what was the worst part about that day when I almost… uh, when you came over?" he amended with chagrinned smirk. "It was _pushin' her_ like I did. 'You tellin' me you'd kill me if I touched her like that again –you think I didn't hear yeh, but I did. I heard yeh loud an' clear. It… it made me think. Bout things I hadn't thought of in a long time," Charlie's voice murmured into nothing as his gaze dipped down to where he was nervously cleaning something from under his nail.

There was silence for a few breaths and Paul shifted uncomfortably.

"Then later… when she said she was movin' out to live with you… I …I- I almost lost it. I almost drew my hand back and _hit_ her," Charlie's voice broke. "_Almost_. But instead… I turned around and just left. Like I always do," he hissed disparagingly and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "I stormed outta the house tellin' her she could fuck up her own life _on her own._ That was the last thing I said to her before…" Charlie glanced up to the open bedroom door and the foot of Bella's bed dolefully. "Before… _this_."

Paul automatically glanced over his shoulder at his mate – still and pale. So still.

"I gotta do stuff different this time," Charlie rasped fiercely, making Paul whip back around. "I got me another chance – _thank God_ – an' I gotta _be there_ for her. I got so good at pushin' people away, I never-… I tried-… I-" he stammered to a halt, collapsing his head in his hands. He massaged his temple for a few moments and then looked up at Paul again. "I was scared shitless to have kids. Scared to have a son. Scared I'd be like _him_ if I did. When Bella came along I was so glad she was a girl I couldn't barely stand it. But now it looks like a gotta son anyways…" he paused biting his lip as if struggling with the words. "So I gotta man up for both a' yeh." Charlie's gaze was intense and unadorned.

Paul's heart stuttered in his chest with an uncomfortable flip. He felt distinctly like a deer in headlights – mouth slightly ajar, mind frozen to an utter standstill. No _man_ had ever talked to him like this. No adult had ever even really taken an interest.

Charlie tipped his head as his eyes narrowed, saving him by breaking the suffocating sincerity. "I mean, I don't know what you're intendin' with my girl…" he grumbled with a warning lift to his brow.

Paul blinked out of his stupor. "I'm _marrying_ her," he came back incredulously as if it was the stupidest question in the world. And then caught himself – he was? Of course he was. He just hadn't gotten that far yet. Fuck, he hadn't even told her he _loved_ her yet – not really.

Charlie's wry chuckle made Paul look up sharply from where his gaze had fallen to rake the ground.

"Good luck with that one," he snorted.

Paul scowled, his shoulders drawing back of their own accord.

Charlie put up an apologetic hand. "I mean… Bella _hates_ marriage. I ruined it good for her," he grimaced. "Renee and me… well, we had us a lot a'problems. Got married 'cause a'Bella. What with my shit and all, 'just made it worse."

Paul grabbed another roll and shoved it in his mouth, just for something to do.

"But Paul…" Charlie said evenly, emphatically, making him look up again. "Don't go runnin'. Not like I did. Don't go hidin' your head in the sand, so scared a'havin' something that you push it away…" Charlie's brow was furrowed in concern. "My girl… well she seems pretty crazy for you alright. And I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed and all, but let me tell you somethin' I _do_ _know_:" Charlie paused, waiting until Paul stopped chewing and was paying complete attention. "You're a _damn lucky_ sonofabitch… cuz there ain't a girl out there who's better," he hissed vehemently.

A slow lopsided smile bloomed easily over Paul's face. "Now, _that_," he mumbled through his full mouth of bread. "…is something we can agree on, Charlie."

Charlie nodded once briskly, his mustache hiding his own smile. His smile morphed into a sly grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "But don't wanna be rude or nothin' but why don't you go on an' take a shower an' uh... get some shorts on?"

Paul choked on his bread with his laugh and hit his chest once with his fist. He had forgotten he was naked.

With another muffled laugh, he nodded and swallowed down his mouthful.

Paul was comfortable with his body, but he was duly impressed that Charlie had carried on this important and uncharacteristically heart-felt conversation with him in the nude. He turned, still chuckling to himself as he disappeared into Bella's room. As he stooped and pulled on his shorts and then moved the bed and IV toward the door – so he could actually see it from the bathroom – he mused that she must have gotten her open acceptance of people from Charlie's stock. He hadn't really thought of it before, but very few people in Forks were undaunted by the chasms of race, social status and money that separated them from the Rez. But Charlie's _best friends_ were both Tribe. He seamlessly passed between cultures – from policing the town of Forks to hanging out with men on the Rez.

As natural as breathing. The way it _should_ be.

The way Bella was: _guileless, accepting, real_.

He leaned over and pressed his lips to his mate's forehead for a long, long moment, inhaling her sweet scent at her temple and releasing it with a shuddering sigh. His wolf had relaxed him immeasurably but Paul still wanted her back. He missed her terribly. His lover, his friend, his mate ...he was _lonely_.

Even if he wasn't - as he had previously thought - alone.

'


	37. Chapter 36 Always

'

**36- Always**

'

Paul opened his eyes to darkness. Where was he? There was the sound of rain dancing on a tin roof, and the air was musty, dank and cool and hung over his mouth like the cobwebs that ghosted the corners of the rough hewn beams. Something about this place was oddly familiar.

Paul spun around slowly and then gasped. Cloudy moonlight sifted in from a dusty, rain-spattered window pane, stenciling a square of light over the prone form of a giant wolf. Its massive body was curled around the tiny figure of a girl nestled into its gray fur.

"Bella!" he cried hoarsely and ran over the wooden floorboards toward her.

The wolf looked up from where it was nuzzling her side and peeled its lips back from vicious fangs in a silent and unequivocal warning.

Confused, Paul froze in his tracks as his gaze snapped to the animal's yellow gleaming eyes. The wolf lifted its lip emphatically again and then glanced at the girl who had her face resolutely pressed into its thick fur. Her shoulders were trembling with quiet sobs.

"Bella?" he whispered softly this time. "It's me."

Bella pulled her shoulder to her ear and nestled further into the beast's side, her fist grasping onto the thick pelt with what looked like a white-knuckled grip.

With another glance at Paul, the wolf leaned in to tenderly lap over her small arms with its huge tongue, as it might reassure a cub.

His wolf was warning him to slow down.

Stopping beside the beast, he collapsed to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chin as he frantically tried to figure out what she needed. "Bella? You're safe now, babe," he said gentling his voice in a silky murmur.

He wondered if she hadn't heard him, because for several minutes her breath continued to hitch unevenly into the wolf's side.

"I –I didn't think you were coming," Bella's voice quavered suddenly, muffled by the thick pelt.

Paul froze. Of course he should have known that in order to take care of her, he should have taken better care of himself. "Shit, I'm sorry. I've been just out of my mind with worry," Paul said quietly. "Haven't left your side for second."

Bella peeked up from where she had her face pressed into the fur and Paul gasped audibly at the tortured pain in her red-rimmed eyes. She looked dazed and disoriented. And traumatized. It was then that Paul realized just how much damage that son of a bitch had really done. To his mate. His delicate, trusting, ingenuous mate.

Paul scooted closer, leaning forward and struggling against the gut-wrenching craving to take her in his arms.

Bella trembled and scooted back further into the side of the wolf. It reminded him of those first days of their imprint. Only this time she wasn't scared of _him_ exactly… she was… she was just frightened. Frightened of a world that had shown just how cruel and unpredictable it could be.

And Paul knew all too well about such a world.

Bella licked her lips, her gaze raking the ground between them before she looked back up into his eyes with confused pucker between her brows. "Y-you still… w-want me?" she asked in a hushed small voice that shattered Paul's heart.

"Oh _hell yes,_ little girl. Always. Every minute of every day, every second of every night," he hissed easily with vehement conviction.

"B-but h-he… it's my fault… I-I couldn't-" Bella stammered senselessly and then dropped her head as she choked on the words.

Paul was going to go nuts if he couldn't touch her. Soon.

He swallowed thickly. "Bella, it's _not_ your fault. Remember what you told me on the beach? That it was _his_ fault?" Paul's gaze darted between her eyes, hoping if she couldn't believe it for herself, she could for him. "Well it_ is_. Just _his_ fault. He was a sick motherfucker, that's all. It had nothing to do with _you_. And it's over. He's dead."

Bella looked up, biting her lower lip with two pearly teeth. "I c-couldn't make him stop. I-I tried...but he-… he-"

"I know. You fought hard. _So hard," _his brow dipped with earnestness. "I saw you in my head, babe," he tapped his temple absently. "No one could have done better."

Bella looked down again and nodded with a loose marionette movement of her head. "He… h-he _touched_ me. I think he raped me," she hiccupped.

Paul's mouth went suddenly dry. He squeezed his eyes shut in agony. "_No_," he couldn't help the way the word growled in the back of his throat. "He _didn't_. I got him in time. Tore him off you and shoved that fucking cock down his throat. He was drink-" his voice broke again and cleared his throat impatiently. "He was draining your blood. But I _got him_, Bella."

"Oh… that's good," Bella said emptily in a detached whisper.

"Please… can I… can I hold you Bella? I just want to hold you, honey," Paul couldn't keep the desperation out of his voice.

Bella didn't look up, but she nodded minutely, tucking her cheek to her shoulder.

Paul didn't waste a second. With barely a glance at the wolf, he scooted to the beast's side and wrapped his arms around Bella's frail body. With only the slightest hesitation, she melted into his embrace, pressing her cheek to his shoulder.

Like the dam that had held her sorrow and grief tenuously at bay was razed by the first touch of his fingertips, full body sobs burst from some place deep within her.

And Bella cried.

Rearranging his mate against his chest he leaned back on the huge barrel chest of his wolf, pulling her down with him into the soft fur. He stroked her hair, holding her fiercely as his own mourning for all she had suffered leaked over his cheeks silently in sympathy. Wordless, lupine croons of sadness rumbled in his chest. Under his ear, his wolf keened its grief along with them.

After many minutes of shared heartache, Bella turned her cheek to rest over his heart as she brought her hands up between them like a small child. Paul leaned down and kissed her hairline tenderly. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Bella wiped her face on his shirt with a juicy sniffle. "My dad?" her voice trembled.

"He's fine," Paul murmured. "He's waiting for you. We all are."

"Jake?"

"He's fine. _Everyone's_ fine. Sam, Jasper, your dad and me all came down to Brazil to get you," Paul said quietly.

"Sam?" Bella picked her head up and looked at him with questions.

Paul smoothed her hair back from her cheek. "Jake _wanted_ to, but he couldn't leave the Pack. He's Alpha now."

Bella pulled a corner of her lip into her mouth in that very familiar and endearing expression of hers and Paul smiled sadly as his heart did a little uncomfortable flip in his chest. She looked so worn, gaunt and shell-shocked.

He pulled her head back down to his shoulder. "We're gonna get through this. Okay? _Together_. You're not alone anymore. Your dad, your Pack… _me_. We're all waiting for you. You're safe and home in your room. You gotta wake up though, babe. _Please_," he begged, anxiety pulling his voice taut. "I miss you so much. I _need_ you."

"I- I j-just don't how to… how to keep going with those memories," she whispered hollowly. "I just don't know how, Paul… it feels like my fault."

Paul nodded and rested his cheek on her hair. "Why do we always blame ourselves, huh? I did it too. All those years, I thought it was my fault. Because I wasn't better or stronger… or _something_."

Bella picked her head up off his shoulder and her gaze darted between his eyes intensely. Wordlessly she brought her hand up to cup his cheek. "Tell me," she said simply.

"I will." Paul's lips hitched up in a half-smile. "When you wake up."

Bella's brow dipped. "Promise?"

"Promise," he whispered. "I used to hide here alone in this place. My old attic. When it got bad," Paul glanced around the dark musty room. The attic of his father's house.

Bella's gaze darted around the room. "Oh, I thought it was my treehouse. The treehouse that used to be in the old oak that got cut down in our yard. Jake and I would sometimes come up here and have sleepovers when we were kids. In the dark, with the branches all fluttering in the breeze it felt like a fortress," she sniffed a laugh.

Paul pressed his lips together and nodded. "I guess my attic was kinda like that too."

"But you found me anyways," Bella looked into his eyes earnestly. "You came and got me."

"Yep. I'll always find you. I'll _always_ come and get you, babe," Paul held her gaze resolutely. "_Always_."

Bella's lips curved into a tentative and sentimental smile as she nestled back against him, resting her arm over his chest and burying it in his wolf's fur. "Can we just stay here a little longer?"

"Can I stay with you?" Paul asked squeezing her to him protectively, in the fervent hope that her answer was yes.

"Always," Bella whispered.

And together they stayed.

The rain on the tin roof played a spritely counter melody over his wolf's soothing purr as Paul stroked his hand over her shoulders in slow, mollifying strokes, just listening to her breathe.

'

'

The whisper of the bathroom faucet across the hall made Paul's eyes pop open with a disoriented start. Gulping as his muddled mind desperately blinked through the roiling vertigo, he glanced in confusion at the early cloudy evening out the window of Bella's bedroom.

After his shower – and after giving Charlie a few pointers as to how best to interact with his wolf - Paul had again phased and laid his massive lupine head on the mattress pressed against Bella's side.

And had promptly fallen asleep.

Lifting a very human hand up in front of his face in confusion, he realized he must have phased during his nap and crawled up into bed beside her. Worried for her brace and IV he fearfully turned his cheek on the pillow…

And came face to face with the blinking warm chestnut gaze of the woman he adored. It was the most heartbreakingly beautiful sight he could ever imagine.

Gasping, Paul pushed off the pillow that was encased in her silky auburn hair and brought his palm to her cheek. "You're here, little girl. _Finally you're here_," he whispered hoarsely as tears immediately brimmed in his eyes.

Bella bit her lip as her gaze searched his. "Th-that all r-really happened…?" her voice was fallow and rough.

Paul swallowed thickly. "Yes," his voice cracked – even though he tried to keep it steady. He tried so hard. "But it's _over now_. You're safe, baby."

The sound of the door opening made him shove his hand behind him without looking. "Give us a minute," he hissed tersely.

Bella's body startled, her eyes going as wide as saucers at his sudden movement.

"Shhh… it's okay," he murmured soothingly letting his big hand fall to rest reassuringly on her shoulder. "It's just Sue and Leah coming to check on you."

The door was pulled quietly closed and his sensitive hearing picked up the animated rushing whispers of the women in the hallway.

But Paul's complete focus was on the woman lying beside him as his heartbeat sprinted a million jubilant miles per second. His fingers delicately traced over her prominent cheek bone.

Her gaze was still frantically flitting over his face, and Paul brought his fingertips to her chin meaningfully, drawing her eyes back to his.

He looked into her eyes, deep into her melting milk chocolate gaze and licked his lips. "Bella. I never said it. I never said it right." Paul briefly closed his eyes at the apex of his slow, steady inhale and then stretched his next words luxuriously over its exhale with all the sincerity in his being. "I love you. I love you so much."

Bella drew in a slow shaking breath as her lips curved into a smile. She then jumped again with a stricken expression as howls suddenly pierced and pockmarked the distance.

Elated, ecstatic, joyful howls.

"Shhh," Paul sat up more, smoothing his mate's cheek with concern. "It's okay. It's okay, babe. They're just happy."

Bella's eyes darted between his, an exaggerated anxiety making her pupils contract as she sucked in a sharp breath.

Paul wrapped his arms around her tenderly and leaned in to press his consoling lips to her forehead. "Shh… the Pack's just happy you're back, babe. They missed you, that's all," he murmured against her smooth, soft skin. "_Oh, God, I fucking missed you."_

'

'


	38. Chapter 37 Time

**37 – Time**

'

She couldn't remember. Not _everything_.

It was probably a good thing.

Over the last week, Bella had laid her cheek over the glorious sound of Paul's steady heartbeat and listened to his low, soothing voice relate what had happened in detail, with the patience of a saint. Over and over. Until the horrifying events whose memories shimmered on the edge of her consciousness like a grotesque mirage could be folded up neatly and packed carefully alongside other nightmares.

She had returned the favor for him, telling him about how Jasper had been stepped in to protect her. How she had woken up in the trunk of the car. How she had come up with the plan to leave any details she could on a torn edge of his picture stuck to the bathroom wall with a piece of gum. How Edward had tried to screw with her mind, but she hadn't played his game. And - perhaps eerily the most poignantly tragic memory she had – that Edward had shredded Paul's portrait of them with words she couldn't even repeat. Even in a whisper.

Having the benefit of a photographic memory, Paul reassured her that he could duplicate it perfectly, but she'd said no. It was the principle of the thing, really. The past was the past, she had said. Trying to erase it wasn't going to fix it any.

As Bella carefully chopped the tomatoes for the salad for their dinner, she mused that it was time. Time to return to some semblance of normalcy and life. Time to make new memories.

Her body was healed for all intents and purposes. She was still tired and weak – and too thin even for her slight frame – but oddly she didn't have any problems in the eating department. She was _starving_.

All the time, to Paul's elation and her chagrin.

They had spent the last week holed up in Charlie's house, hanging in the kitchen or on the couch. She had enjoyed cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for them. And watching him eat.

Bella chuckled softly at that. Who knew watching someone eat could be such riveting entertainment?

"Whatchu laughin' at, little girl?" A deep voice rumbled behind her.

Bella turned with the residual smile on her face to meet Paul's gaze. He was straddling a chair backwards and looking up from what he was sketching at the small kitchen table. That wry little smirk of his twisted his lips and his black eyes unapologetically sparkled – ready to share humor.

"Just how dorky it is that I like watching you eat. But I do. It's awesome," she sniffed her laugh.

Paul's smile evened out. "Yeah, just wait till the movie comes out. It's gonna be a blockbuster."

Bella laughed and returned to her chopping. A sappy little vapid song came over the kitchen radio clock and Bella began humming tunelessly along while she sprinkled the diced tomato over the salad. The simple things. These last few days of laid-back peace and minutia had been so incredibly sublime.

Bella felt him before his strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. Lifting up her hair off her neck, he bent down and placed a hot and lingering kiss on the nape.

"Shit, you smell so fucking good," he murmured against her skin.

"Are you sure it's not the casserole?" Bella giggled like a little girl as she turned her cheek toward him, pressing against his solid abs.

"Oh yeah. I'm _so_ sure," he nipped up the tendon on the side.

Gently.

Bella instinctively turned her neck more, offering up that sensitive spot that ghosted her tendon and veritably burned for his mouth.

With a little moaning grunt, Paul ripped his mouth away and nuzzled her ear, turning her completely in his embrace at the same time as he gathered her to his deep panting breath.

It had gone just like this. Every time over the last few days.

Bella knew he was just trying to give her time and space – and was grateful - but as the days wore on, she found her body craving the normalcy. The _rightness_ of his touch on her body. Warm, firm, ardent. So very different in every way from…

The radio suddenly buzzed with a grating, strident siren and Bella jumped, her heart leaping into her throat.

"_This is a test of the emergency broadcast system… This is only a test…"_ a fuzzy nasal voice droned over the offending sound.

"Shh….it's okay, babe," Paul murmured by her ear as Bella tried to recapture her sprinting breath.

_Damn it._

Just when she was lulled into the illusion of normalcy something like this happened; PTSD, Sue had said. She still jumped at every single sudden sound, sending both herself and her mate's blood pressure sky-rocketing. It would take time, Sue had said. Time to trust that things were going to be predictable – for a while at least.

Bella bit her lip and pressed her forehead against Paul's chest in chagrin. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Paul's huge hands cupped her jaw and tipped her head up gently to his anguished gaze. She hated that she put that look there. _It wasn't right._

"Nothin' to be sorry about, babe," he murmured, looking deeply into her eyes for an entire breath before leaning down and pressing his lips to her forehead sweetly.

Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment in defeat, Bella let out a frustrated sigh. She just wanted things to go back to the way they were. She didn't want him to feel like she was some fragile little thing that he had to handle with kid gloves… and, even though he denied it, she knew that's exactly how he felt.

Ever since she had awakened, Paul had been by her side; loving, tender, patient…

… subdued.

It was a painful reminder of what Edward had done to them both. No amount of talking or convincing or analyzing could fix it, either. Bella understood a little more about Emily and Sam.

She had seen both Emily and Leah over the last week – along with Sue and Charlie, of course. The rest of the Pack had desperately wanted to "reconnect" as Emily had explained. Finally out of desperation, they had all descended in wolf form on the back yard until Charlie had grumbled humorously about not wanting to have to clean up monster dog shit from the yard.

Bella and Paul had gone out on the porch then and sat with his Pack. She petted and stroked soft fur, giggling at their large rough tongues on her toes while Paul looked on. He was still edgy around other males. But for Bella the wolves weren't threatening at all. But she had to admit she was afraid to see their human counterparts as much as she missed them. Especially Jake. To see that _look_ in their eyes. _The look they all had._

But Paul _needed_ them. He needed his Pack. He needed his brothers and sister like he needed the wolves. Bella _knew_ it… she didn't know how.

When Paul's steady hands started trembling – at least once a day if not more – Bella would grab up that "stupid plastic brush" (as he called it) and wordlessly sit in the middle of the living room floor in a silent battle for his acquiesce. She enjoyed immensely pulling the bristles through his thick soft pelt, relishing his rumbling purr of pleasure. It relaxed her. She needed time with both of them, she had realized.

But Paul needed his Pack. And Bella did too.

_It was time._

"I want to go home," Bella whispered suddenly releasing a long slow breath into his tee shirt.

"Huh?" Paul pulled back and looked at her with an adorable and unguarded quizzical expression like a little kid.

Bella smiled and tipped her head all the way back. He was so tall.

"_Home_. I want to go home. Tonight," she said again, a little more confidently this time.

Paul blinked several times.

"It's time, Paul. We need to go back to the Rez," she clarified. "Your place."

"_Our_ place," he amended automatically under his breath.

Bella's smile broadened. "Yeah. It's my birthday coming up and I want stuff to be back like it was before that. And I want to go home."

"Tonight?" he asked, looking like she had grown another head or something.

"Uh huh," Bella nodded, pulling at her lip with her teeth with a glimmer insecurity. Maybe he felt like it was too much or he didn't want-.

"Okay, babe," he said easily as if he had heard those niggling worries starting to prickle in the back of her head. "How bout after dinner?"

Bella nodded happily and Paul smiled at her expression, pinching her chin sweetly.

"When is your birthday?" he asked as she turned out of his embrace back to the counter.

"Next week, Wednesday," she replied covering the salad and crossing to the refrigerator.

"Uh…whattaya want?" Paul asked quietly, sounding uncomfortable.

Bella closed the refrigerator door and considered him with a little frown. She actually didn't like the whole birthday-celebration thing. And by the looks of it, neither did he. He was leaning with a stiff and feigned casualness against the counter, his arms folded awkwardly over his chest.

Bella chuckled and crossed the kitchen throwing her arms around his huge hulking body. He immediately melted around her with his warmth.

"I have everything I want, thank you very much," she said meaningfully, beaming up into his face with the adoration she felt. "And I don't really do birthdays. I hate they whole party frou-frou celebration thing."

Paul let out a visible sigh of relief and Bella laughed out loud. It felt good.

He smiled in spite of himself. "Yeah… I'm not real good at that stuff…" he mumbled miserably.

"You're good at the rest of it though," Bella's grin faded to sincerity. "I wouldn't change a thing about you."

Paul's eyes darted intensely between hers for several moments and Bella knew he understood the very loaded subtext of such a seemingly casual comment.

"Thanks," his whisper was no more than a breath of heartbreaking disbelief.

It made Bella realize he had probably never heard such words. She would just have to tell him at least once every single day until he believed her.

Knowing that he got uncomfortable with anything that got too close – he still hadn't told her anything about his childhood, but she wouldn't push him, she knew he would when he was ready – Bella intuitively lightened the intimate tenor of the conversation.

"Wanna come help me pack?" she asked with a encouraging lift to her brow.

'

'

Paul _knew_ it was Charlie. He _knew_.

But he stalked down the stairs at the first clomping footfall on the front steps anyway. Just to be sure.

He watched Charlie jolt back a step at the front door, putting a reflexively hand over his heart in response to Paul's silent footsteps.

"_Jesus_," he gasped and then rolled his eyes. "Hey, Paul."

Paul didn't miss the way he threw down the large manila envelope on the side table by the door.

Charlie rolled his shoulders as he worked his jaw nervously, setting his bag down. "It came," he mumbled to the floor as he pulled off his jacket.

He didn't need to say more. Paul understood.

"Dad!" Bella piped from the top of the stairs.

And the men exchanged nervous glances.

"Hey baby. Smells good," Charlie's voice tried to reply brightly, but ended up stretching thin and tight.

_Way to go_, _Chief_, Paul thought with a roll to his eyes, before he realized he couldn't have done better.

Bella stopped at the second stair even as Paul vaulted up to her side. "What's wrong?"

Charlie's hand came up to scratch the back of his neck as his mustache pulled up in a pitiful excuse for a smile. "Nothin' Bella. It really does smell good."

Bella snorted and met Paul's gaze suspiciously as he lifted her into his arms and sprang down the steps. She was still so weak, he hated watching her teeter on the stairs.

"How am I ever gonna get stronger if you carry me everywhere, huh?" Bella mumbled teasingly as she nuzzled his ear.

Paul knew she would have protested more seriously, but her mind was on her father.

Setting her down in the living room, Bella let her palm linger on Paul's chest for a moment while her gaze raked up and down her father with a humorously melodramatic frown.

Paul loved that she always wanted to touch him.

Apparently deciding to let it lie – for now, Paul knew better – Bella turned with a little petulant huff and strode into the kitchen to get dinner ready. Both Paul and Charlie would have been more than happy to have ordered out every single night… but Paul knew that cooking was one way she kept herself busy these days. And she needed to stay busy.

They both did.

And truth-be-told, it was ridiculously enjoyable to sketch at the table and watch the way she moved, casual and sure, around the kitchen. The girl had no pitch at all, but he adored hearing her hum and sing along to some stupid song on the radio while she went about what she was doing. The best part though was watching her eat. A nibble here, a bite there. Every time she lifted something to her lips, even a passing taste, both he and his wolf perked up in rapt attention. Over this week she had slowly started to regain some color and shape to her cheeks. It made him ridiculously happy.

"So, um…"

Charlie interrupted Paul's admiring gaze through the kitchen door and he turned with an inadvertent scowl.

He quickly evened his expression out. "Yeah?"

"So how's she doin'? Should we… uh.. talk to her about it yet?" Charlie itched his nose with the back of his hand uncomfortably.

Paul drew in a long slow breath of dread.

"So dad," Bella called from the kitchen. "Paul and I are gonna sleep at his place tonight, kay?" she announced breezily.

Charlie's accusatory gaze snapped to Paul's.

Paul gave him an exaggerated grin and turned on his heel, stalking after his mate.

"Uh, Bells… 'you think that's a good idea?" he asked with a stressed break to his voice as he followed.

Bella turned from where she was pulling lasagne out of the oven with two mismatched Christmas oven mitts. "Yeah, I do," she said simply, meeting the man's gaze with her sincerity.

_She had effectively nipped that one in the fucking bud._ Paul's lips hitched up subtly in appreciation.

Charlie wisely swallowed any planned retort.

Bella turned back and placed the dish on the trivet as she continued. "I need things to be back to normal," she said quietly. "We need to go home."

_And they did. She was right. _

They needed to get on with their life. Their tender, fledgling life together that had been shattered and pockmarked by trauma and tragedy. It was a life he had never dared imagine – and it had be cruelly snatched from their grasp at the first little taste.

Charlie sat down heavily at the head of the table with a scrape of his chair while Paul went to retrieve the salad from the refrigerator. He dragged his hand along Bella's shoulder blades as he passed in reassurance.

"What about school, Bells?" Charlie murmured to the table.

"I'm not gonna go back." Not missing a beat, she served up a plate of the lasagna she had made. From scratch. "I already had enough credits to graduate, anyways."

She deftly handed Paul the plate, seeing something else altogether in her mind's eye. "After all… a-after all t-this…"

When her voice stuttered softly, Charlie looked up sharply with stricken eyes and met Paul's even, warning gaze.

"It would just kinda seem weird. Y'know… back to bio and cafeteria gossip and all that stupid stuff and… just I always made a sucky teenager anyway." She turned around with smile that looked forced to Paul and his stomach took a nose dive.

Paul crossed to the table and handed the plate to Charlie, meeting his gaze again without a word. She had never really been the superficial teeny-bop type – he had know this about her… just _known_… as well as from Jake – but to hear the residual pain and shattered innocence in her attempts at a blithe tone… well it bothered him. A lot. Every last one of the Pack had grown up too damn fast, and to see it happen before his very eyes. _To his mate._ It unequivocally broke his heart just a little bit more.

Charlie swallowed uncomfortably and looked up at his daughter, standing with a plate in her hand bravery warring with a little girl desperately needing her father's approval.

And Charlie nodded.

"Sounds pretty good, Bells," he mumbled uncomfortably as he looked down at his plate.

Bella's shoulders seemed to relax even with such a transparently tepid response and she let out an little breath of relief.

Soon they were all sitting over plates of steaming food, salad and bread spread out in the middle – like a _fucking family_, Paul realized suddenly.

Something he'd never had.

Charlie stammered an awkward grace over the meal; it was a new thing for him, apparently. Bella had shrugged it off saying that ever since he had realized just how many blessings he really had, he'd started counting them. Paul might not do it the same way, but Paul was counting them too. Every last single one of them. Every day.

He glanced up as Bella reached over and took a slice of French bread, passing the little basket that looked suspiciously like the one they used down at the diner Charlie frequented. Paul smirked and took it.

"So… what's up?" Bella asked quietly as she picked a tomato up from her salad and munched it with a feigned casualness.

Charlie's fork immediately began scraping against the ceramic plate, as Paul restlessly dragged his bread through the tomato sauce. Suddenly he had lost his appetite: a monumental achievement in and of itself.

"God, dad. Just spit it out," Bella dropped the half-eaten vegetable on her plate. "I've had enough-"

Paul turned to her resolutely, propping his forearms on the table. She deserved better than two fucking wusses.

"Today, your father got paperwork from the C-Cullens," he tried to get the name out in an even tone. He tried.

Bella's gaze snapped to Paul and the color drained immediately from her face.

Paul reached across the table and touched her hand soothingly as he tried to swallow his heart back down his throat. "They want to …" Paul coughed. His mouth had gone uncomfortably dry. "They want to give you _his_ estate," he grimaced at the bitter taste in his mouth.

At such an innocuous word as 'his,' Bella's eyes went wide, her pupils contracting to pinpoints in fear.

Within a heartbeat, Paul was crouched at her side, "shh…I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry. They sent it to his office. They know if they ever set foot anywhere near here –" he babbled senselessly as his chest constricted in panic.

Bella grasped his hand in a white knuckled grip and shook her head tersely. "Wait," she croaked. Bella pressed her face into Paul's shoulder and breathed deeply for several minutes – greedily inhaling his scent.

Paul smoothed her hair soothingly as his frantic gaze met Charlie's.

_Damn it. He had totally fucked that up._

Charlie set down his fork, and licked his lips. "Uh, Bells… Paul thought you should get a choice. And I did too," he amended with a glance up at Paul in solidarity.

Bella trembled against Paul's shoulder, swallowing audibly.

For several minutes her slow purposeful breaths pulled the silence taut like a spring and Paul closed his eyes, resting his cheek against her head and chastising himself for ever being so stupid. It had seemed like a good idea at the time - she shouldn't have her choices taken away from her. Not ever again.

"Thanks," Bella's voice was thin and soft.

Paul's eyes blinked open and he looked back at Charlie with a raised brow.

"Thanks," she repeated again mechanically like it was the one word of English she could muster. Drawing in a long and resetting breath, she picked her head up off Paul's shoulder and turned to her father. Her face was an expressionless mask. "How much?" she asked flatly.

Charlie's nostrils flared with discomfort. "Uh… more zeros than I think I can count," he tried a smile, but it turned sour. "And the house."

"Not the house!" The words burst from her lips, making Charlie jump.

"Kay," he said tentatively like he was stepping in a minefield.

Bella collapsed her face in her hands as she pulled away from Paul. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"There's nothing-" Paul and Charlie came back quickly in unison and stopped short, reflecting scowls at each other.

Bella laughed into her palms at their bollix. A sad, humorless sound.

"Okay, okay…" she breathed, rubbing her face roughly. "Let me think about it."

Paul's gaze raked assessingly over her flat, cool expression.

She reached out and squeezed his arm reassuringly. "Let's eat."

The rest of the evening passed in uncomfortable silence. Bella mechanically cleaned her plate – and Charlie and Paul followed her example. Wordlessly she left them to clean up and do the dishes while she stretched out on the couch and stared blankly at the ceiling.

When they were through, she directed her father and Paul in a soft monotone as to what she wanted packed in the truck. She wanted to bring her book case and books along with some clothes, appeasing her father that she didn't need to take everything right now.

Paul was happy but surprised, that she didn't try to help.

She sat slumped on the porch watching them pack the old Chevy, seeming to be gathering the courage to step off the front steps. Bella hadn't left the house in the whole week since she'd awakened. The closest she had gotten was sitting on the top step of the back porch with the Pack splayed out over the lawn. Paul just couldn't handle them Phased as human just yet. His wolf was still adamant: no males.

Forty minutes later, Bella was hugging her father with whispered reassurances, and then stoically sitting in the passenger's seat of the old red pickup.

Paul was worried.

He watched the street lights drag over her pensive features, that full lower lip pulled completely into her mouth. As they passed the boundary of the Rez, he reached out to worriedly place a hand on her thigh.

"You okay?" he ventured, even his whisper seeming harsh over the crooning low murmur of the old motor.

"What do you think?" Bella asked suddenly.

Paul glanced over at her two times, trying gauge her context.

"I mean, what do you think about all this?" Bella clarified, turning more to Paul and scooting across the bucket seat to lean her head on his shoulder.

Paul's entire body relaxed at her familiar – and needed - touch. "I dunno," he answered truthfully. Because he didn't. He actually hadn't been thinking about the money… except for worrying about how it would affect his mate. Paul himself had never really worried about money; he'd never had any to worry about.

"I think we should take it," Bella stated resolutely, glancing up to his profile for his reaction.

Paul swallowed as his eyes darted down to those earnest dark eyes.

"I mean, not for _us_… but for the _Pack_," Bella continued. "For the Rez. Put it into some kinda fund or something. Buy the clinic some stuff. The school. Make sure any of the Pack or kids could go to college if they wanted."

Paul kept his gaze on the road as he processed. It would do a lot down here on the Rez and it would be a way of putting some good into what she had suffered.

"Emily could get that surgery up in Seattle," Bella added quietly.

And that was it. He could hear the sureness of her decision in her voice. He realized he would support her no matter what, but as usual he was stunned by how sharp and thoughtful she was. Even around something so painful as this.

Paul squeezed her thigh. "You're fucking awesome, babe," he whispered.

"But _not_ for the Council," Bella's voice sharpened and he looked down to her frown. "The _Pack_ gets to decide how to use it."

Paul chuckled.

"What about the house?" Paul asked quietly. She had had a strong opinion on that one.

"Burn it. Give the land to the Tribe," Bella bit back fiercely.

"Fuckin' _A_, little girl." Paul's brows raised in appreciation.

The last few miles were spent in silence, but a comfortable silence. Paul felt distinctly lighter and he knew Bella breathed easier too. He _had_ made the right decision after all. This gave her a sense of power and closure, he was sure of it. Her choices were thoughtful, genuine and true. And so Bella. _His_ Bella. She was on her way back.

They drove past the winking lights of Sam and Emily's place, down the gravel road and up to his darkened house. Paul turned off the engine, leaving the lights on for her human eyes and frowned at the large box with the telltale idiosyncratic curve of Amazon smiling at them from the side.

"It's here!" Bella squeaked happily, turning to him with a maniacal grin.

Paul couldn't help but catch it. "What did you do, babe?" he rumbled, leaning in to kiss her temple as she bounced once on the seat.

"You'll see," she raised a melodramatic mysterious brow.

_Oh, shit it was awesome to see her like this. Again. Finally._

Bella slipped down from the truck gingerly, reminding Paul of her weakness, and within two steps he was at her side wrapping his arm around her steadily.

With a few more squeals, she froze, looking up at him suddenly serious. "I hope you like it," she worried.

"Your reaction is worth it, even if I don't," he grinned.

Bella slapped his solid forearm in rebuke and pounced on the box.

"Hey-hey-hey!" Paul scolded, pushing her gently back. "Get the door, _little girl_," he boomed meaningfully.

Bella rolled her eyes and Paul distinctly heard her grumble peevishly under her breath something about a "big bad macho werewolf."

"You'd better believe it," he snarled … well, like the big, bad macho wolf that he was.

Flipping on the light to the still- pristine painted house, Bella paused and drew in a deep breath. "Ahh…" she sighed, like she had just returned home after a long trip.

Paul knew the feeling.

He set the box in the middle of the room, leaving Bella to fumble through his – _their_ – kitchen for a knife while he went back out to unpack the truck. He set the few boxes of books and clothes inside the door and went back for the bookshelf.

As he easily carried in the six-foot high heavy oak shelf, Bella complained cryptically, "I _knew_ you were just letting him help for his ego."

Paul set the shelf against the wall. "What part of 'big, bad and macho' _don't_ you understand?"

His smile died on his lips as he turned to the sight of Bella sitting on the floor in the middle of screws, braces and various pieces of wood. She was scowling irritably at a little instruction book.

Paul was momentarily struck dumb, his mouth hanging open like a moron: a_ desk. An artist's studio desk._

Bella looked up at his long stretch of silence. "Some assembly required," she quipped petulantly.

Paul closed his gaping mouth and crossed slowly to where she was desperately trying to hide her insecurity.

"Bella. God," was all his mouth could manage. It was the most thoughtful gift he had ever received. Except for _her_.

He collapsed beside her, and met her gaze. "You didn't have- I – You shouldn't-" he stammered hoarsely.

Bella chuckled and leaned up to kiss his chin. "Shut up," she snorted emphatically, as she sat back down. "Do you like it? I didn't know- … it got the best reviews… it has a drawers…" it was her turn to babble.

He nodded quickly as his eyes scanned over the pieces she had jumbled all together on the floor. "It's fucking perfect." He leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers tenderly with all the love and gratitude that he felt. "_Thank you_," he whispered over her lips.

"I figured all we really needed was a bed, a bookcase and a desk anyways," Bella smiled with an endearing earnestness in her eyes.

Paul grinned as all the stress, anxiety and worry slipped easily from his shoulders. "Yep, we're golden."

"Can you help me put it together though? Otherwise I don't think it's gonna look like this picture here if I do it," she laughed at herself.

Paul nodded – still flabbergasted – and quickly pushed off the floor to get his tools. Returning to her side with the old army bag of assorted and rusting tools, he kissed her again. Just because he wanted to.

Bella was intently laying out screws in approximate order of size and she shrugged him off, reaching over the pile to grab up the little plastic baggy of washers with a little impatient grunt.

Paul chuckled and folded himself down beside her as he deftly picked up the large smooth drawing surface and turned it upside down. As he facilely began fitting pieces together they both relaxed into the soothing, comforting hum of their bond. For the first time since this hellish time, Paul caught a glimpse of what their life could be like together. For the first time in his life he actually had… hope.

Damn it. Talke about blessings? He was going to have to learn to count higher.

Bella gave up the pretense of helping him and lay on her side, pillowing her cheek on his thigh while he worked and Paul stroked her hair tenderly between fitting screws and braces, washers and bolts into pre-drilled holes.

When his hands were busy, Paul found it easier to talk and he had promised her that he would that day in his attic/her treehouse.

He hadn't forgotten. How could he?

The words were just lodged so deep in his being; the heartbreak, the memories, the pain. Things that he had sworn would never see the light of day. Words that he had never spoken aloud – even to himself.

_But it was time._

As his hands fiddled with an Allen wrench, he licked his lips and drew in a deep breath.

"So... I was six the night my mother left…"

'

'


	39. Chapter 38 Home

**38 – Home.**

'

Bella opened her eyes to jocund birdsong flirting with the affable morning light. She drew in a deep breath of utter contentment, made whole by the warm musky smell of her mate.

With another lazy blink, Bella turned her head expectantly on the pillow.

Paul was laying beside her, his hand propped up under his ear and a gentle smile curving his lips.

"Good morning," he whispered as his hand came out to stroke over her cheek with the tenderness that sparkled in his eyes.

_It was like a dream._ But it wasn't.

"Hey," she mumbled, turning over on her side and snuggling closer. After the intimacy of what he had shared with her last night, while he deftly put together that impossible jigsaw puzzle – she had been skeptical, she had to admit – she felt _so close_ to him.

Even if it was painful to watch him stutter and choke on such heartbreaking words while his hands relentlessly tightened and fixed and fitted, it had been the most profound and meaningful experience of her life to date.

And it had helped them both heal just a little bit more.

"Sleep good?" he murmured tucking a wild errant wave behind her ear.

"Mmm hmmm," she mumbled sleepily as she pushed him onto his back. Wrapping her arms around his broad chest, Bella rested her cheek over his pec, listening to her favorite sound in the whole world: his heartbeat. She allowed it to lull her eyes to an indolent heaviness as she relished his calloused hands stroking over her back. She found herself idly feeling grateful that his arm was completely healed in its dexterity, even though his forearm - and his wolf's leg - would always be ropey and scarred.

Bella would always have her scars too. The one's she could see – like the double crescent on her arm and at her neck – and the ones that were infinitely more subtle. They could be painful reminders… or testaments to resilience and strength.

Bella was determined to make them the latter.

Her hand smoothed over Paul's chest, hesitantly at first, but with increasing confidence as his breath snagged under her cheek. She could feel the evocative hum resonating through her fingers, siphoning up into her body in a warm, viscous sweetness. She sighed softly into it, like lowering herself into a steaming bath, and let herself go.

Turning her cheek, Bella pressed her lips over the brown nipple by her nose and watched the chill bumps raise like a starburst outwards. Another delicate kiss to his pec. Then another, and another.

Bella finally forgathered the courage to look up at his face from under her fluttering eyelashes, worried at what she'd find.

Paul was frozen still - eyes wide - his expression a volatile and swirling aggregate of apprehension and desire.

Bella bit her lip timidly and ghosted her nose over his sternum, holding his gaze with steady eyes.

"Let's try," she whispered, the edges of that soft pronouncement frayed with a plea.

His large palms stilled on her shoulders for a moment as Bella continued to sweep her lips slowly over his smooth teak skin – back and forth – waiting for his answer.

"C'mere," he finally murmured, pulling Bella up his body easily, her bare skin slipping over his rippling abs. He looked into each of her eyes, deeply, steadily. She could feel his hesitation trembling in his hands.

She thought for a moment he would proffer more questions, but instead he merely whispered, "Tell me when to stop."

With that his hand snaked up behind her head and pulled her mouth into his. Soundly. She could literally feel the fluttering pop of his restraint and he moaned soft and low against her lips. Bella let her eyelids close as she savored the play of his satin lips against hers. His tongue traced the seam of her mouth and her lips bloomed in encouragement, inviting him in with her undulating tongue.

Oh, he tasted so good. So warm, earthy and alive.

_Mine_.

Bella's hands reached up to tangle in his short silky hair as ardor tip-toed with patient, velvet feet up her spine making her shiver. She sighed in rapture as he rolled her over onto her back – keeping their tongues entwined – and pressed her down into the mattress with just enough of his weight to make her feel safe and contained.

His mouth pulled away from hers - drawing a soft whimper of protest over her lips with them – only to drop fluid, kisses as luscious and warm as melted caramel over every inch of her face.

Nuzzling her cheek, Paul's breath wafted warm and moist over her ear. "Love you," he sighed on his exhale. "Tell me when to stop," he repeated.

"_Don't_," Bella's entreaty was a breathy moan that bubbled up from deep inside her as she arched into his nipping caresses down her neck.

She turned her cheek automatically as he alternately kissed and massaged the tendons down her neck with a sumptuous and languid patience. His lips seemed to be searching out that aching scar and they latched over her pulse pulling her skin into his mouth as he suckled. Warmth infused that barren, cold place and Bella pressed her neck into the delirious heat that seemed to leach from that point through her blood.

Pushing life unerringly _the right way_ through her veins.

With an open-mouth gasp of pure bliss she mouthed his name in supplication as he marked her, efficaciously erasing the violation with a loving mouth.

"_Mine_," Paul's voice rumbled into her neck making her tremble as his energy rippled like a fresh sheet from the dryer fluttering down over her.

She felt the scintillating purr of his wolf's possessive approval shimmying down her body, raising chill bumps in their simple certainty of the assertion.

_His_.

His mouth didn't seem want to leave her neck, but the driving need that Bella churning exigently in her body – and mirrored in the percussion of his heaving breaths against her – pulled him down to ghost over her collar bone. His hands were playing her body like an instrument, running up and down and coaxing soft moans like music from her lips.

All with that gentle touch of his that belied his brawn

But when his hot mouth captured her nipple, Bella's entire body jerked and he froze, quickly replacing his ardent lips with the tender nuzzle of his nose as he crooned wordless reassurances.

He patiently strummed over her sides and hips with light butterfly caresses until she melted to pliant need before his mouth crept back to tease and test with an acclimating tongue. He melted that hidden spot of shadow with an attentive and caring mouth and before long she was arching and moaning into his touch. Bella wondered if it was simply a matter of the accumulation of want that made her nipples just so sensitive, she was twisting in ardor by the time he was counting her ribs with his teeth.

The skillful and caring lover that he was, Paul inventoried every centimeter of her body with reverent attention. He ferreted out every last one of the buried memories that lay latent under her skin. He took his time: crooning and coaxing and nuzzling them to the surface to be laved away by his redemptive tongue.

Paul pulled her up to new heights with his tongue between her legs, catching her as she plummeted back to the earth with whispered words so sweet her eyes bled tears from the aching pressure in her heart.

He wrapped his long arms around her, entwining his legs with hers and he held her. Just held her. Until her breath skipped across the serenity that filled her soul in flowing, supple arcs.

Coming back to her body from the sublime euphoria he had gifted, Bella felt his own need, ignored but insistent pressing against her quivering side. He wanted her, desired her… craved her.

And she craved him too.

"Please," she whispered by his ear as his breath railed against trembling control.

"Sure?" he choked in a rough voice.

"_Please_," she repeated, her own body's yearning stretching her voice tight and thin.

"Let me get something," he rasped.

The cool air was shocking on Bella's flushed skin and she gasped in dismay.

Paul lithely leaped to his dresser and pulled open the drawer, the telltale crinkle of foil making Bella blink back to her senses.

She'd forgotten.

She hadn't started the birth control – for obvious reasons – but she also hadn't gotten her period. Sue had said it was normal, considering the trauma and her weight loss, but she had counseled them to wait to begin the pill after her cycle had returned.

Bella watched in fascination as with the deftness of experience, Paul slipped the sheath over his thick flushed erection. He was covering her again with his warmth in a heartbeat.

"Mmm, sorry babe," he murmured nuzzling into her jaw sweetly, his lips capturing her racing pulse and suckling her into delirium. Bella wordlessly moaned, submerged instantly in the rushing passion of their chemistry.

Paul groaned as his hips started pumping in anticipation against her, his own repressed body begging pitifully for gratification. His muscles were quivering as he pulled away to meet her gaze. His eyes were heavy-lidded and clouded with desire.

"Tell me," he rasped again hoarsely, still vigilant even now, his painfully tenuous hold on his sanity reflected in the wildness of his gaze. He repositioned his body over hers, guiding his arousal to the burning apex of her thighs and entered her in careful, measured strokes.

Bella's eyes rolled back with the glorious pressure. He filled her with slow thrusts, the muscles in his back jerking and shuddering under her clawing fingernails. When he was sheathed completely he stopped, burying his face in her neck and shivering as his heaving breath kneaded her heart.

Bella tipped her chin up to the sky and gasped, "Paul…_let go_."

With only a second of hesitation, Paul groaned a low long rapture as his hips overtook the rhythm of his heart.

Bella wrapped her legs around him, trying greedily capture more, as her soft keening cries climbed higher, grounded by Paul's purring bass of pure pleasure. So in tune, they could do nothing but crest together, rushing down the face of a wave of passion in each other's embrace.

Panting like they had be tossed by the sea to the shore, Paul turned them over in a quick, efficient movement and she rested her cheek on his chest with a sigh of delectable satiation.

When his heartbeat had stretched back out to slow and steady, Bella lifted her head up, needing to see his eyes.

Paul's brow furrowed instantly as a concerned hand came up to trace the salty tears of that had streaked her cheeks.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

Bella sniffled and smiled a soggy smile as her hand came up to cup his cheek tenderly.

"I'm better," she whispered.

_Because she was._

'

'

Bella enjoyed the crunching gravel under her feet. She enjoyed the sound of the birds trilling in the green, green forest. She enjoyed the feel of Paul's hand in hers, swinging carefree between them.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Paul's voice interrupted her meandering thoughts.

She looked up to find him watching her with a smile of pleasure stretching those lips taut in a glorious smile.

"The walk or the Pack?" Bella asked, her lips curving up naturally.

"Both," Paul sniffed, squeezing her hand.

Bella nodded with a grin that still sparkled with post-coital satisfaction and Paul chuckled leaning down to press his lips to her hair.

They took their time. Bella stopped to pick a fistful of daisies, pushing one behind her ear, as she chatted aimlessly about potted plants on porches, couches and kitchens. Nothing and everything at the same time.

Paul's kept his eyes trained on her, an amused half-smile quirking his lips – which she blithely ignored – as he walked beside her with that nonchalant mercury stride.

But before she knew it, their insouciant stroll had brought them up to an all too familiar mail box. Like a needle had ripped across an old vinyl record, her world suddenly came to stuttering halt. That coiling anxiety in her gut that was becoming so familiar, snuck up on her with vengeance and Bella blinked in surprise as her feet froze to the ground.

Paul stepped in front of her taking her other hand in his as his sharp, intense eyes washed over her face, assessing.

"They all know," Bella whispered, shame making her voice quaver and her cheeks burn.

Paul frowned for a moment as a fire lit deep in his eyes. "Yeah, they do. And this is what they know: one of _our Pack_ was kidnapped by a twisted motherfucker and – because she was so smart and kick-ass – we were able to find her, tear that asshole to shreds for even thinking of hurting one of our own, and bring her back home. Safe. _Home_."

Bella's gaze darted between his vehemently outraged and protective eyes, uncertainly.

"You can do this," he said simply in a voice so sure that she believed him.

Gulping down her racing heartbeat, Bella nodded and went up on her tiptoes for a kiss. He met her halfway and his mouth caressed hers with a sweet but halcyon reassurance, like hot buttered toast and strawberry jam.

With a squeeze she released his other hand and started down the driveway, Paul keeping their pace even and slow when Bella's stride would have tensed and quickened in anxiety.

Bella's gaze strained to make out the figures at the end of the driveway. Of course, with her luck, the whole Pack was out in the unseasonably beautiful Washington spring. Her heart leaped into her throat at the sight of Jacob sitting on the top porch step, Leah splayed out over him sitting on the step below. Paul had said that they were "giving it a go" – dating - and Bella was happy for him. Quite frankly with his sunny warm-hearted nature and her volatile passion (augmented by the carefully hidden tender side she had witnessed last week) Bella could see them complimenting each other well.

Quil was on the rope swing as usual, Embry tossing a football with Seth. A salt and pepper wolf – Brady, and the only one phased she could see - was tussling in the grass with a big, brown boy she didn't recognize.

Predictably they all looked up at the sound of Bella's footfall before she could take in any more. Each face – or muzzle – turned to her and they froze with open-mouthed shock.

Bella immediately hitched an uncomfortable shoulder to her ear.

The tension was comically broken by the football - already been tossed in the air - whacking Embry soundly in the face.

Paul snickered wickedly beside her as he casually raised his hand in greeting.

Suddenly anonymous exclamations tumbled over each other in an ecstatic, laughing maelstrom.

The raucous outburst made Bella jump, but also effectively shattered any apprehension. The normalcy of it was wonderful. No hushed trepidation, or doleful sympathetic looks or pity… just genuine, pure, undiluted Pack chaos.

Another little part of Bella's heart settled back into place comfortably.

She turned up to smile at Paul in relief, and found him watching her again; a wry grin twisting his lips, his eyebrow lifted in that cannily.

"See, same as it ever was," he chuckled.

Bella turned back around to be swept up into Jacob's arms and spun around breathlessly. Again she started, but quickly settled; it was just what she needed: exposure again to the regular, mundane -unfiltered interactions with a world that was _hers_.

Since stepping into the front door of Paul's house – _their_ house, she was still getting used to that – she had started remembering the life that she had just gotten a glimpse of before such tragedy and trauma had struck. A life where she had finally found a sense of place, a community, and _Pack_… and was accepted just the way she was.

Jacob squeezed her tightly with one of his familiar bone breaking hugs.

"Welcome home!" he murmured, in a deep bass and then pressed his face into her neck and inhaled deeply. "You smell awesome, honey," he purred and then laughed as Paul punched his shoulder.

"Hey you mangy mutt, quit sniffing my mate," Paul growled with mock ferocity.

Jacob switched seamlessly to holding Bella in one massive arm as they clasped forearms with a comfortable macho affability.

"Mind if I steal her for a bit?" Jacob asked.

Paul raised his eyebrows in a cool assent.

With a deferential nod to Paul that belied his 500 kilowatt smile, he placed a quick peck on Bella's temple.

As he turned with her in his arms, and jogged down the gravel driveway with his smooth, easy gate, Bella grinned and waved at Paul over Jacob's shoulder.

Paul smiled as he stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets and continued his steady fluid stride.

Then it was a head-spinning, whirlwind, simply fabulous pandemonium as Bella was passed through almost every last Pack's embrace. Each huge hulking man hugged her with careful gusto, but effervescent relish – her feet not ever touching the ground – until Leah pulled her out of Embry's arms.

"Jesus, you guys! I _swear_," she rolled her eyes as she slung her athletic arm casually – and protectively - around Bella's shoulder. "So you ever met Brady?" The woman looked down with her shrewd little smile.

Bella shook her head. "Only the wolf," she smiled timidly.

Leah lead her over to where two unfamiliar men were awkwardly standing on the fringes of the throng of wolves who had descended to bump fists with Paul.

"This is Brady," Leah introduced the thin – and built, of course – Quileute.

"Hey, Bella," he smiled shyly and leaned down to press his lips to her forehead. "You're toes taste good," he whispered by her hair, making her laugh as he referenced the one time they had met on her back porch.

"And this is Kai," Leah indicated the large soft man beside him. _Polynesian_? Something like that, with long lashes and a warm easy smile.

"He's Bradyyy's…" Leah dragged his name over an impish smirk.

"Brady's hunk o' burnin' wolfman love, girl," Kai completed flamboyantly for her with a confident and mischievous grin.

Bella laughed again and shook his hand warmly as Brady groaned in embarrassment.

"And then there's Collin but he's running with Jared. He hasn't gotten the whole wolf thing down yet," Leah snorted. "Still sniffing crotches."

Bella smiled uncomfortably – not sure what that meant.

"Give 'er up, Lee," a deep voice made them both turn.

Sam was standing with his hands in his pockets, his eyes locked on Bella with his usual unreadable expression.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Worst for last," she stuck out her tongue humorously, as she let her arm fall from Bella's shoulders anyway.

"Hey Sam," Bella said, feeling suddenly uncomfortable under his intense gaze. "Thanks for … coming to get me-" she started.

But her words were smothered into Sam's chiseled chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

Bella was stunned.

Sam didn't say a word, but just held her head to his heart for several breaths. He pulled back and looked into her eyes with an unfathomable expression as his gaze washed over her with a very paternal possessiveness. Bringing a hand to her chin he held it for a moment, before a slow, heartfelt smile curved his lips. "It's good to have you back," he murmured quietly.

"Thanks," Bella whispered, her eyes dipping to the ground shyly.

He released her suddenly and Bella looked up with confusion as he took a quick step back.

But then she felt him. Paul's warm, strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her back to his chest as he inhaled at the crown of her head.

"Okay, that's all the sharing I can handle," he grumbled.

Sam met her gaze and gave her a very uncharacteristic and commiserating wink.

Bella chuckled.

_It was so damn good to be home._

'

'

Sam sat on the top step of his porch and watched his Pack as they played in the yard. It was awesome to have them all back again. Even Collin had Phased back to human and was joining in the raucous, no holds-barred game of football on the lawn.

Paul sat in the grass under the shade of the trees propped back on his arms. Bella was of course leaning back against him between his legs as they watched. Her laughter at the Pack's antics was contagious and Sam found himself chuckling along with her.

_Damn it. _Why could nothing be _easy_ for those two?

He had watched the scene play out scattered innocently across the Sunday afternoon: Bella getting pushed on the swing or lead from conversation to conversation under draped muscular arms.

While Paul stood on the sidelines playing tense and over-protective referee.

His immutable dominance made an irresistible foil for the Pack's jubilant and playful mood on this poignant and beautiful day, and they took turns pushing his envelope every last chance they got.

But with Bella, they were careful. Always protective and careful. Every last one of them instinctually _knew_… even if they didn't consciously understand.

And whether it was their overt vigilance for his mate or simply that she was enjoying herself so freely, Paul endured their antics benevolently. Only _once_ did he sock Embry in the gut.

It was a good day.

But Sam was worried. He was worried for those two; they had been through too much, too soon already.

The screen door clattered open and then shut pulling Sam from his musing. Hearing his mate's light, graceful footsteps across the worn weathered wood, he scooted over to make room for her without tearing his pensive gaze from Bella.

"Hey, hon," she said blithely as she sat down beside him, resting her head against his shoulder and handing him a cool, tall glass of lemonade.

"Thanks," Sam replied quietly as he watched the Pack gather for their first run all together with the new cubs.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked absently as she waved to Bella in greeting.

Sam watched as Paul leaned around and tenderly kissed his mate, before he unfolded himself from the grass and dusted off his hands. This would be his first run since they had returned and he could see the tense worry in his stance.

Sam sighed heavily and turned to kiss her lips. "Wait till they're gone, Em," he whispered.

With that enduring patience for which she was famous, Emily nodded and wrapped her arm around his bicep.

Sam hadn't ever imagined that it could work, but he was surprised by how easily Kai and Brady and been accepted. He watched Kai squeeze shy Brady's arm sweetly before moseying on over to collapse in the grass beside Bella.

"We wolf girls have to stick together, huh?" he quipped humorously to Bella's welcoming smile. Even Kai seemed to sense the Pack's innate need to protect her – or maybe it was just his ubiquitous good-nature shining through.

"You comin'?" Jacob yelled – needlessly – up to the house and Sam shook his head.

"I'm gonna sit this one out. 'Watch over the girls," he raised his eyebrows toward the two in the grass with humorous hitch to his lips.

But Paul glanced up and met Sam's eyes with a subtle nod of sincere gratitude.

Within minutes the Pack had loped off into the treeline, exuberant howls drawing down the dusk from the sky.

As soon as they were out of sight, Emily squeezed his arm encouragingly and then took the glass from his hand and took a sip.

Sam took the glass back with forced half-smile. "It's Bella and Paul," he said quietly.

Emily immediately tensed beside him, squeezing his elbow fearfully. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_," Sam hedged uncomfortably. "It's just… did you notice how the Pack was with her today?"

Emily's brow dipped as her eyes cut up to the sky, visibly playing back the memories of the day. "Well they were _good_ –for those guys -…_attentive_…"

"Yeah… it's her _scent_. She smells just like a wolf - _like Paul_ - but honey-sweet," Sam explained, his eyes darting out to where Kai and Bella stood from the grass and were chatting as they ambled up to the house. " It draws us in like a magnet, makes us want to protect her."

Emily looked nervously over at the two approaching and then back at Sam, with a furrowed brow. "Yeah, but they're mates... with all she's been through… I mean isn't it just _natural_?"

"Yeah, its natural alright," Sam blew a breath out through his cheeks. "Em… she's _pregnant_ with Paul's baby."

'


	40. Chapter 39 Carrying

**39 – Carrying**

'

_Fuck, it was good to see her like this._

Paul fought the soft smile that had flirted with his lips all day as he watched Bella laughing and chatting freely at the table. Surrounded by the Pack who was ebulliently scarfing down Emily's dinner, she was impressively holding her own with their volume – even if it was at was her usual slow, deliberate pace.

It made Paul ridiculously happy, and – so, it seemed – the Pack too: as soon as Bella had finished some item on her plate, a brown, muscled arm was reaching over to refill it. The cool thing was, Bella didn't even seem to notice. She just continued to munch away as she giggled at their antics and jokes.

Even though the Pack was acting better than he could have ever hoped for, Paul felt like he was going to jump out of skin, he wanted her in his arms so badly. But she was having so much fun, that he didn't want to spoil it for her. He didn't want to be _that_ over-protective smothering kind of lover, but today …that was _exactly_ what he felt like being.

It was literally driving him insane.

He had known they would welcome them with open arms – his Pack – but he hadn't expected them to monopolize her like they did. Happy to have her back, they had snagged Bella from his side every chance they could and Paul was embarrassed to admit he was starting to get jealous. If Emily was den mother – and Leah her counterpart in combat boots – then Bella was the Pack's true sister, but Paul found he just didn't want to share. He understood that she was an easy friend to have - a good listener, compassionate and accepting, but not a pushover – and someone who naturally made every last one of them feel comfortable and heard with her ingenuous nature.

But Paul didn't care. He had gotten spoiled over this last week and he wanted her to himself…and so did his wolf.

The only thing that kept his burgeoning impatience from exploding in an embarrassing play of covetousness was the fact that she glanced up to find him every few minutes judiciously - always with that sparkle in her eye. It made him feel good that even with such boisterous and demanding distraction, she was still always focused on him.

Like she was right now.

Paul's lips relented to that smile and he tossed a little sultry wink in for good measure, just to watch the rosy flush ripen her cheeks. Her teeth unconsciously drew in her lower lip at the corner as her gaze flitted with overt appreciation up and down his form and her lips curved into something sexy and sensual that Paul felt in his groin. And he _knew_ she was remembering their lovemaking this morning.

Paul squeezed his fists in his pockets against the sudden overwhelming urge to rip her off that bench and sprint back to their house for a repeat performance.

_Jesus, it had felt good._

He wouldn't lie to himself and say he didn't need more. A _lot_ more. It had been a nearly full-time occupation to rein in his body over this last week; a fact of which he was not particularly proud. But he was worried for her almost as much as he was afraid of himself – the intensity of his need for her - so he had carefully kept a white-knuckled hold on that relentless craving for her body.

He didn't think he could have done it except that - it must be all the time they spent together this week - she still _smelled_ like him and it mollified the wolf's possessiveness enough to keep him control. Who was he kidding, there was no way in hell he could have taken her here - around other males - without having marked her, normally. But even though they had used protection, his scent still blatently clung to that delectible porcelin skin, announcing to every last one of them - through all the Pack's monopolizations and antics - with all the subtlety of a neon sign.

That she was **his**.

"Hey honey…"

So distracted by his increasing lurid fantasies that he didn't even hear her sidle up to him, Paul nearly jumped at Emily's melodic voice.

Paul cleared his throat – glancing down at her sheepishly for a moment – with a feeling distinctly like he'd been caught being naughty. "Hey, Em."

She bumped shoulders with him amiably and leaned against the wall beside him as his gaze returned to the table.

"You get enough to eat?"

Paul tore his eyes from where Seth was making Bella laugh with two baby carrots stuck up his nostrils and met Emily's assessing gaze. "Yeah, I did. Thanks. It was awesome as usual," he complimented sincerely.

His gaze snapped back to Bella of its own accord as she looked up at him with conspiratorial roll to her eyes – presumably in reference to Seth - and lifted piece of garlic bread to take a nibble.

"How's she doing?" Emily asked quietly, her gaze following Paul's.

"Fuck, _a whole lot better_... Ever since we came home last night, she's been so much more… _Bella_," Paul's relief and wonder seeped into the breathed statement along with a smile. "Finally we have a little fucking peace."

Emily made an uncharacteristic little absent noise of assent, and Paul's eyes cut over to her where she was watching Bella with a pensive frown.

"What, Em?" Paul asked.

Emily looked up and met his gaze with a wan smile. "So Sue said everything's…" she left the statement dangling.

"She said everything's _fine_. She's healed_… she's healthy_…" Paul's brow furrowed as he turned more to her. "Where 'you goin' with this, Em?" he chided, inadvertently squaring his shoulders.

Emily placed an apologetic hand on his forearm. "I'm sorry… I've just been so worried about her," her black eyes met his with a soulful intensity that instantly melted his defensiveness.

"Sorry," Paul rubbed his face with a brisk hand. "I'm just edgy… these fucking mongrels are getting on my nerves."

"_I_ think they've been really good with her," Emily tipped her head trying to hide her grin.

Paul's gaze darted briefly over the raucous table, noting how Leah had draped a casual arm around Bella's thin shoulders where she sat beside her on the bench.

"Yeah, _they have_," he rolled his eyes in capitulation with a wry hitch to his lips. "I think we just need to get home. It's been a long day."

Emily pressed her lips together and nodded. "Before you guys head out, why don't you catch up with Sam…" she began.

Her words were interrupted by a high squeak of fear that had Paul's body moving before the sound had even reached his brain.

He processed briefly the image of Embry, leaning over the table and dangling a spaghetti noodle like a worm in taunting threat to Bella's cowering squeal.

Without even knowing how he got there, he had ripped Embry off the bench and slammed him into the wall with a vice-like grip, his feet dangling off the floor. The funny thing was – he absently noticed out of the corner of his eye- almost everyone else at the table had had a similar reaction: Leah had pulled Bella into her side, Jake had shot up at the head of the table with a growl, and a condemning silence suffocated the room.

Paul glared in utter rage at the wolf squirming in his iron fists. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he hissed like a steel blade over the unapologetic snarls of his wolf.

"_Jesus_, I was just playin'" Embry's voice quavered hoarsely. At least he the good graces to look horrified…

… and seriously worried for his bodily safety.

"Paul!" Bella's voice called over Embry's sniveling. "He just surprised me…that's all. It was just cold and gross… I'm sorry!"

The stress and worry in her voice instantly seized the attention of both Paul and his wolf, and he whipped around, unceremoniously dropping Embry to the ground with a resolute thud.

Paul stalked briskly around the table to where Bella had stood, her wide-eyes darting around the table in dismay. There was still absolute silence as he effortlessly pulled her from the bench and wrapped his arms around her, snuffling her neck. At the comforting honey-scent of his mate, his whole body relaxed.

_Bella is safe_, his wolf settled back down with a relieved sigh.

"Embry you're such a _dick_!" Jared chastised, as other grumbles were echoed around the table.

Bella pulled back from his chest and looked up at Paul with a stricken expression. "God, I'm sorry… he was just being silly… I'm _so sorry_…" Bella whispered, her confused gaze darting over Paul's residual frown.

Paul blinked and licked his lips, his expression softening as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Shh… I'm just kinda keyed up, little girl. Nothing for _you_ to be sorry about," he murmured soothingly into her hairline.

Pulling back he gave her a reassuring smile. "'Just a long day, babe. Why don't you finish eating, and then we can go home." She had some food on her plate and she was still way too damn thin for either Paul or his wolf.

Bella hesitated, glancing behind her nervously.

Jacob had sat back down and they were all trying to regain their buoyant momentum from where the indignant brakes had slammed the entire Pack to a screeching halt…

All while they watched Bella surreptitiously with assessing eyes.

Paul was grateful for their concern– they were all probably just hyper-vigilant because one of the Pack was still vulnerable - but he didn't want Bella's first carefree day to end on _this_ note.

She was twisting her little hands nervously in Paul's shirt – which he found adorable – and he gently disengaged them with comforting fingers. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he turned her back to the table. "C'mon… I'm hungry again…don't think I got enough of that pie."

Paul lifted Bella over the bench – ignoring her little squeak of protest – and bumped Leah's shoulder with an impatient grunt.

"Lee," Paul growled playfully –trying to do his part to lighten the mood at the table. "Move that sorry ass over, bitch."

"There ain't nothin' sorry about _this_ damn fine ass," she snickered obliging as she also scooted over, while another plate was instantly placed in front of Paul by anonymous brown hands.

"Dunno 'bout that…guess we'd hafta ask Jake," he snickered under his breath as he lithely stepped over the bench as he sat down throwing a wicked smirk toward the head of the table.

"Jake? Just how _is_ Leah's ass?" Paul asked with fearless bravado as he reached for the pie.

Completely unperturbed, Jacob met Paul's gaze with a saccharine smile. "Leah's ass is _mighty_ d_amn_ fine."

With a snort, Leah popped one hard in Paul's shoulder with a resounding crack while he laughed unrepentantly.

And so they fluently returned to familiar territory.

Embry – obviously trying to ingratiate himself after his idiotic blunder – launched into a raucous story about how he and Quil had snuck into the high school girl's locker room to _see_ some fine ass and both got stuck separately _in_ lockers, and the socialization over the dawdling meal got back on track quickly.

Bella had pressed herself up against Paul's side as he wrapped his arm protectively around her, giggling at the image of Embry and Quil trying to hide and then freaking out as they realized there was no way to get out from the inside.

She didn't eat much more, to Paul's disappointment, but just having her snuggling into his side did wonders for his nerves. Her soft warmth, her enticingly addictive scent, like flowers in the spring… his body hummed in pleasure.

Soon though, her shoulders had stopped tickling his side with her giggles, and her head grew heavy on his chest. Leaning down he found his mate sound asleep, her face completely relaxed and at peace against him. An affectionate smile softened his face as he pushed a lock of hair back from her rosy cheek.

_Fuck, he loved that girl._

He suddenly realized that the rest of the room had gone quiet, only pockets of whispered conversations rushing over the remaining quiet scraping of utensils on plates. He looked back to see most of the table watching them.

"Guess we'd better get home," he murmured quietly as he tenderly drew his sleeping mate into his arms and maneuvered carefully off the bench.

"Let me pack up some food, Paul," Emily said in a hushed voice as she stood. "Put her on the couch for a minute would you?"

Paul didn't miss her meaningful glance over to Sam.

_Fuck_, he was so not in the mood to deal with any of Sam's tedious minutia. If he had to guess it was about plans – when was it _not_? – for where the Pack could put the money Bella was gifting. He knew Sam was going to have a raging hard-on for days as he researched stocks and mutual funds and other fucking boring stuff like that.

With a roll to his eyes, he rearranged Bella's head against his chest and carried her around the table as Jacob stood, following his movements with a watchful eye as heads mimicked him around the table.

Jesus, when had the Pack become so goddamn interested in _his_ mate?

He understood this whole ordeal had been hard on the Pack and knew from his run with them that they all had gained a new appreciation for the wolf – about fucking time – but this clinginess… oh, they were gonna have to lay off if they wanted to live.

As Paul grumbled to himself, he heard Jacob announce in a subdued voice to keep it down – which was quite a nice change from his usual big fucking mouth.

"Okay, Lady and Gents, let's get Em's kitchen cleaned up. No funny stuff," Sam admonished behind Paul, sounding like he was following.

"You forgot Kai," Quil piped up impishly. "It's Lad_ies_ and Gents now…" his stupid joke disintegrated into a boyish snicker.

"Quil, I didn't know you cared, honey," Kai cooed melodramatically as the entire room burst into good natured – and quiet – laughter.

Paul laid Bella gently out on the couch, and pulled the hand-crocheted throw off the back to cover her. She was totally sacked out. With a sentimental smile he pulled the blanket up higher over her shoulders and then ghosted a finger over her full lips.

He turned around to find Sam staring at him with that damn 'all-business' expression of his and rubbing his hands on his cutoffs.

"Waddaya want, Sam?" Paul groaned irritably.

Sam swallowed, and jerked his chin toward the front door even as he started walking toward it.

With a long suffering sigh, Paul followed.

Sam held the door open with a backward glance to Paul. "Brady's mate is a riot," Sam chuckled lightly with the distinct tenor of small talk as Paul passed him out onto the porch. "I was worried about those two – especially when Brady's wolf so easily accepted Kai as his mate, I didn't know if the Pack would be ready. But it's hard not like either of them. They're 'good people.'"

Paul made an noncommittal grunt. Brady was gentle with Bella, and Kai had kept her company on their run… Bella seemed to like them. That's all he really cared about. Paul collapsed on the top stair in their usual spot, but Sam surprised him and walked right past him out onto the lawn.

"C'mon," Sam simply said.

Blowing his breath out of his cheeks in frustration, Paul pushed himself sullenly off the steps and jogged after him. "Sam I'm really not in the mood for this," he growled. "Can't we take a rain check?"

Sam headed for "the tree" as they called it – the one with the rope swing - where several beat-up old folding chairs from this afternoon were still strewn casually under the large spreading oak.

"No, we need to talk," he said soberly over his shoulder.

Something about the tone of his voice made Paul pause. Maybe this _wasn't_ about the money.

"Look, if it's about my little 'slip' at dinner… Embry was being a total prick. Everyone thought so –"

"That's part of it," Sm said cryptically sweeping up a chair and plopping it down in the grass.

Paul rolled his eyes. "What the fuck, Sam? Is Jake too _chicken shit_ to try an' spank me? You're not my fucking Alpha anymore."

Sam looked up at him, his face utterly serious. It freaked Paul the hell out something fierce.

"No, but I'm your friend," he said softly.

Paul's stomach took a nose dive. He roughly grabbed up a chair and spun it around backwards, straddling it and propping his forearms on the back. He glowered at Sam uncharitably to cover his rising apprehension.

Suddenly he knew… this was something to do with Bella.

"How's Bella feeling?" Sam asked quietly after a moment.

_And there it was: the same veiled questions as Emily._

Paul frowned and sprang up from the chair with an instant spike of anxiety. "She's _fine_, okay? She's still getting over some of the emotional shit but she's _fine_. Sue says she's _healthy and fine_!" his voice vaulted up with his foreboding. He rubbed his hands over his face as he started pacing, trying to rein in his defensive temper.

"As long as we can keep the goddamn Pack's hands off her - and Embry's fucking spaghetti noodles - so I don't rip out anyone's throat… I would say all is pretty fucking peachy in wolfy-ville. _Finally_!" Paul spun around and glared accusingly at Sam. "Can't you just hop off the damn drama merry-go-round and take a chill pill for once Sam? Go play with _your money _– I know that shit's like a wet dream for your bean-counting ass– and _get off my back_!" Paul snarled.

Sam held his gaze impassively for several moments and then took a deep breath. "She's pregnant," he said simply.

Paul froze, feeling like he'd punched him in the gut. He blinked as his mouth popped open in shock. "Who?" he finally gasped. "Emily?"

_No, not Emily you goddamn moron… oh fucking shit._

Sam licked his lips. "No, _Bella_," he said evenly. "Bella's pregnant, Paul."

Paul felt like he was trying to swallow down a goddamn football. His mouth was opening and closing like a fish on dry land…but no sound was coming out.

Since Paul's brain certainly wasn't making an appearance, Sam continued in a voice that sounded like was struggling to stay calm. "That's why she smells so good to all of us. She smells like a wolf … like you, not your mark… _you_ (didn't you wonder why that was?). But so fucking _sweet_ – you saw how everyone was drawn to her scent. She's _pregnant_… that's why the Pack has been all hyper-focused on her today." Sam pushed his hand through his short hair as his gaze raked the ground. "Every single one of us felt it, even though they didn't understand." His voice hitched with emotion. "It's the wolf instinct, Paul… to protect their sister who's carrying… the Pack's _unborn cub_."

Suddenly it made sense: why she still carried his scent, her hunger, that addictive delectability of her sweetness, her fatigue, his strung-out nerves….

_Oh shit, oh shit… oh fucking shit!_

Paul stared blankly at Sam, who calmly and patiently held his gaze. It might have been a few minutes or hours…he wasn't sure.

He wasn't sure about _anything_. Not anymore.

Finally Paul licked his dry lips. "But we used _a condom_," he rasped like he had late-stage emphysema.

"Bullshit," Sam spat with a surprising vehemence that took Paul aback.

It somewhat snapped him out of his stupor. "We _did_… today's the first day we…" he breathed almost as if to himself.

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up cracking his neck, his face a mask of emotion that Paul didn't understand.

He didn't understand _anything_. Not anymore.

"Jesus, not _today_, you idiot," Sam spat uncharacteristically. "It has to be a couple of weeks ago or something. You guys sealed your bond – what? Five weeks ago? – and your _fresh mark_ was on her every day after that until she was…" he wisely left that sentence incomplete.

It probably saved his life.

"Fuck!" Paul spat, fisting his hands on each side of his face. He looked up again pleadingly. "_But she had just finished fertile the week before_!"

Sam's head fell back in aggravation. "Paul… the imprint bonding changes _so much_ about our chemistry! It probably changes their breeding cycles too – we don't know all this shit! What, she's not on the pill?"

Paul slapped his hands back down to his sides as he closed his eyes, fury taking over his self-loathing like a tidal wave. Paul was suddenly yelling: "**No**! _Why the fuck didn't you tell me! You're the only one imprinted… you were Alpha_! I-I told her it was _okay_! I- I thought…_ Oh, fuck! You knew she wasn't on the pill_…couldn't you _smell_ her fucking natural hormones, Sam?"

Sam's eyes were burning as his lips flashed up from his canines at Paul's tone. "No," he hissed with deceptive quiet. "I wasn't scenting her _to mate_… would you prefer _that I had_?"

Throwing himself forward with a vicious snarl, Paul's lightning fist hauled back and landed a punishing blow to Sam's jaw, throwing his head back.

Sam's face snapped back around, a mask of unadulterated fury. And it wasn't the only thing that snapped. Controlled, unflappable, analytical Sam finally broke under the crushing weight of something so central to all his personal anguish. Like a pressure cooker, the box of duty and necessity where all of his torment had been simmering all year exploded…

…and he lunged viciously.

Paul's savage dominant aggression met Sam's primal paternal rage head-on in a thunderous crack, and the two grappled fiercely, tumbling into the grass and flattening chairs as they rolled. Ferocious growls grated through the syncopated percussion of fists hitting flesh as the two friends battled mercilessly. Punching and clawing – each submerged in his own private hell - they struggled fiercely with both themselves and each other without restraint.

"STOP!" a voice boomed like the fall of a sledgehammer. "STOP NOW!"

The power of their Alpha's imperative cleaved the two apart like a twisting knife, throwing each on their backs in the grass and metal chair remnants.

"_What the fuck's going on_?" Jacob snarled as he sprinted across the lawn.

Sam lurched up to sitting position, gasping for breath, his face battered and bleeding. "He's… Bella's…" he choked senselessly on his residual rage.

Paul pushed himself up to hands and knees as his breath heaved.

Jacob frowned sternly, "Yes… Bella's having nightmares right now because _her mate_… _her imprint_…is swapping fists-to-the-face with my Second on the lawn… care to explain?"

Paul was instantly stumbling to his feet with a strangled moan. "Bella," he cried in panic, as he staggered forward toward the house, his eyes wide.

Jacob caught him roughly by his bicep, his gaze raking Paul's bruised face with consternation. "_She's okay_," he growled.

"N-no…" Paul choked, struggling in his grasp even as he stumbled against him.

"Paul!" Jacob grabbed Paul's face and shook it. "_Bella's okay._ Lee 'n Em are with her, they'll tell us if she doesn't settle back down," he said softer this time. He released the man and he fell limply to his knees.

"Sam?" Jacob looked over to where Sam was still sitting in the grass, his breath heaving.

"She's pregnant."

"What!" Jacob took a step back in surprise, his gaze darting automatically back to Paul. "Bella?"

Sam nodded, as he swallowed thickly.

"How do you know?"

Sam's head snapped up and in a blink he was standing, fury crackling in his stance. "You wanna know _how I know_!" he snarled, his gaze burning into Paul's trembling back. "Emily! Emily had _two… two fucking miscarriages _the first few months after… after…b-because of what _I_ did to her!" he prowled with a vibrating rage, eyes locked on Paul. "I haven't even been able to get her to _try_ again for a whole year… because she's scared …"

Sam choked on his words and then lunged blindly forward as Paul instinctively whirled lithely around, crouching with a warning growl.

Jacob was between them in an instant, a restraining arm across Sam's chest.

"And that … that _asshole's_ just a _kid_ in that body…too goddamn selfish… too fucking _scared_ to man up and see this for the _blessing_ that it is!" he spat vehemently. "A blessing we want _so badly_… " his voice shredded in hoarseness. "And it's _wasted-_"

"Enough!" Jacob commanded, realizing suddenly just how far gone his Second really was.

Paul's eyes were wide and wild, his heart clenching at the unbridled agony lacing his friend's words, even as his own body gagged and choked on his own utter terror.

_Shit, he couldn't deal with this_: he didn't have it in him. Not now.

_Not_ _now_.

"Jake?" Leah called from the porch where she was holding Emily, trembling in anguish in her grasp. "Bella needs him." Emily twisted in her grasp with a little anxious whimper and Leah let her go. She immediately sprang down the steps. "They both do," Leah added quietly.

And just like that, Paul was running…taking all the steps in a giant leap and pushing past Leah into the house even while Emily was sprinting to her imprint across the lawn.

'

'

Under the blue, blue harvest moon and crystal evening skies, Paul strode down the crunching gravel briskly, his sleeping mate cradled against his chest, still wrapped in the throw from Emily's. The effervescent sound of crickets minced the dark forest and gave voice to the winking stars above.

He had been offered multiple rides home, but in the end he just didn't think he could get into such a small enclosed space with another wolf's scent and Bella. Not right now.

_Not now._

He needed to be alone.

To think, to feel… to try to untangle the hopeless knotted mess that had wound tightly around his heart, asphyxiating his very soul. Truthfully he didn't even know where to begin, so he settled on struggling to force his breath in and out through the tightness in his chest.

And he wondered what part of alone, Leah hadn't understood. The quickened whisper-soft gait behind him made his wolf growl low in warning.

"Aww hush, Paulie. I just got the food Em packed," Leah grumbled as she fell into step beside him.

Wisely on the other side of the road.

"Call me that again, and I'll fucking rip your throat out," Paul snarled in dark whisper.

He felt like he could hear the scathing comeback rallying against her pursed lips, but luckily she won the battle. They strode along in silence for several minutes, only the soothing sounds of night and crinkle of the plastic grocery bags she carried keeping them company.

"She's gonna wanna keep it, y'know," Leah suddenly interjected into the space between them in a soft voice.

_His child_, that's what she was talking about. His unborn baby.

No, he _didn't know_. He didn't know _anything_. Not anymore.

Paul pressed his lips together, and tried to squeeze the burning out of his eyes. It didn't work.

"Look, it fucking sucks that you got her knocked up right off the bat, but…" Leah began.

The growl that ripped out of Paul's chest effectively made her swallow the rest of that thought.

With of a huff of exasperation, Leah stopped in the road and turned to him. "You gotta talk about this shit, douchebag!"

Paul kept walking.

"What are you fucking gonna do tomorrow morning when she wakes up and you're too strung out on your own shit to deal?"

Paul kept walking.

Leah – needlessly – raised her voice as he continued to put distance between them. "She's gonna freak! She doesn't need that! Not after…"

Paul whipped around, holding Bella tightly to his chest. "She doesn't need _this_," he hissed over a snarl, his rage finally evaporating the burn in his eyes as his gaze bored into the woman down the road.

Leah instinctively paused for a few minutes, letting his wolf settle as Paul's breath hurtled over the tenuous control of his temper.

"Who are _you_ to say?" Leah whispered quietly.

Paul's breath caught. His weight shifted uncomfortably.

"Maybe she _does_ need it," Lean continued softly. "Maybe _you_ do… maybe we _all_ do."

Paul licked his lips as his nose prickled uncomfortably. He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, turning back around to continue down the road. Slowly.

"You're soundin' pretty _woo-woo_ there, Clearwater," Paul rasped derisively, but his heart wasn't in it.

Leah jogged down the road to catch up with him, falling back into step. A little bit closer.

"Well anyone who_ doesn't _think it's just a_ little bit_ 'woo-woo' to turn into a giant wolf… imprint… heal and mind-read… and all the rest of this bullshit …is _pretty fucking_ lame," her words crept high over a sarcastic laugh.

Paul glanced over to her with a frown.

"Ahm jus' sayin'" Leah shrugged with a smirk.

Paul sniffed.

"Look just _talk_. You know I'm probably the only one who's kinda sorta maybe _almost_ as fucked up as you..." Leah left the sentence dangling.

"Jake's turned you into a pussy, Lee," Paul snorted.

"Mmm," she hummed indolently. "Yes. He. _Has_," she turned to Paul with a humorously salacious leer.

Paul couldn't help the single laugh that burst from his lips.

Leah grinned triumphantly.

"C'mon… spill," she whined, as Paul's house came into view.

Paul drew in a deep breath and let it out through his teeth, in a subtle acquiescence.

They walked the remaining distance in silence, as he tried to scrape together any sense from his jumbled thoughts and the mind-numbing terror.

Any sense at all.

They walked down his drive, up the steps and into dark house. Leah wordlessly headed for his kitchen with the bags while Paul crossed to the mattress and tenderly laid his mate down. She was sweating from his body heat - and how closely he had been holding her - and he smoothed her damp hair back from her face. She instinctively turned into his palm with the sweetest little hum of contentment, and brought her hand up under her cheek with a satisfied sigh.

Paul smiled.

His eyes ran over her face once more, so peaceful – almost happy – in her repose, and then he pushed off the floor.

He joined Leah in the kitchen who was putting things away to only the light of the refrigerator and the full moon – though of course for the lupine eye even _that_ wasn't necessary.

Paul leaned back against the counter and watched her pull dish after dish out of the plastic bags on the floor.

"Jesus, Em packed a fucking grocery store," Paul laughed awkwardly, trying to segue into anything remotely comfortable.

Leah intuitively helped, her voice sounding muffled from the refrigerator. "Well have you seen your mate eat these days? I don't even know _where_ she puts it in that little body o' hers… the kid's already a bottomless pit just like you."

"She's got a lot of catching up to do," Paul whispered in doleful defense.

"Yeah, she does." Leah paused, and pulled her head out of the icebox. "But she's doin' good, Paul. She's doin' real good," she said with quiet sincerity meeting his eyes.

Paul nodded once and his gaze dropped to the floor. "I mean all the drugs that motherfucker gave her and all the beat-" his voice broke and his palms slapped up to rub his face, trying to push back that impending prickling burn in his eyes.

"She'll be okay, Paul. One way or another." Leah closed the door with a _thunk_, punctuating the pronouncement.

Paul looked up to where she was leaning against the refrigerator, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I mean there's a shitload of stuff that can go wrong anyway and still can – look at Em," her gaze fell to the floor. "I didn't even know all that stuff about my _own cousin_. I was too... pissed-" Leah swallowed audibly.

She took a deep resetting breath. "But on the other hand, it was all really early on in the game and lots of healthy kids come from a lot worse. My mom'll take good care of her," Leah whispered with that same intensely serious look in her eye that Paul had only ever seen that day at Bella's bedside.

"Take care of _them_," she amended in a whisper.

The girl was smooth, he had to give her that. Paul knew she kept referring to the baby… _their baby…_ in order to make it real for him… and it was working.

_Bella was pregnant. His mate… was pregnant with their child. _

_Holy fucking shit_.

Paul blinked as it finally truly hit him. "B-but me? A dad? I mean… _Jesus_… I always thought-…I mean, I never even _thought_ about _even_ _thinking about_ kids until… until we first…" Paul's rasping voice stumbled over words that were too intimate and profound to come easily. "Until…_until Bella_. But when I look in those eyes of hers… I- I want…" He dropped his face in his hands and blew out a deep breath through his cheeks.

There was a long moment of silence hemmed by the frogs chirping down at the stream. The kitchen sink dripped once. Twice.

Leah shifted her weight. "Now, who's turning _who_ into a pussy?"

Paul looked up to her sly grin gleaming in the moonlight, and an inadvertent growl scurried through the kitchen.

"Naw, jus' yanking your chain. I like that little girl o' yours," her grin evened out to a smile as she took a step toward him. "She first seemed like you could just blow her over with a sneeze, but she's tough. She's way-cool. She's _real_."

Paul couldn't help that his shoulders squared in pride. _She was. _

Leah pulled up the empty plastic bags on the floor and wadded them up, pulling something small out of one. "Oh, Em sent this along too. Guess she had it laying around."

Paul reached out and toward the long thin foil wrapper and paper booklet in his hand, looking up with a quizzical frown.

Leah rolled her eyes with a snort. "Shit, Paul. It's that pee-on-a-stick thing?"

Paul's forehead wrinkled, his brain was still not engaged.

"A pregnancy test?" Leah interrupted his muddled thoughts with an incredulous raise to her brow.

Blinking Paul took it, inadvertently almost dropping it as held it between his thumb and forefinger awkwardly as if it would bite.

Leah laughed softly.

Paul punched her in the arm and put the offending thing down on the counter.

"Okay, 'better jet. I'll bet Jake's gonna want it all hot n' heavy tonight after dealing with basket-case Sam," she snickered in humorous lurid anticipation.

Paul rolled his eyes and followed her out into the room, his gaze snapping to his mate still sound asleep, her heavy breathing even and slow.

"She's _out_," Leah whispered as they crossed to the front door and out onto the little porch. "Good luck?" Leah's eyebrows lifted dubiously.

"Thanks," Paul snorted.

Just half a head shorter, Leah shocked the fucking hell out of him when she suddenly placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned toward his cheek.

Paul froze.

Leah blew a loud, juicy raspberry on his jaw.

She snickered wickedly as she pushed him roughly away. "Didn't think I was _that_ much of pussy, did ya?"

Paul just didn't have it in him for any snappy comebacks so he just wiped the slobber off his cheek and flared his nostrils.

"Laters," she waved breezily as she hopped down the few steps and shoved her hands in the pockets of her shorts.

Paul watched as she ambled back out to the road, feeling … well feeling completely and utterly shell-shocked.

His brain suddenly switched into gear enough to call out, "tell Jake thanks for me."

Leah turned with a frown. "For what?"

Paul smirked as he reached for the doorknob. "For sending his 'damn fine ass' over to babysit."

Leah laughed and slapped her butt. "_Mighty_ damn fine, and don't you forget it!"

Paul smiled to himself as he opened the door.

As soon as he closed it behind him, his eyes found Bella, splayed out on her back now, her breath rasping in and out in an adorable little purr. His eyes clung lovingly..tenderly… to the slight curves of her tiny body as he walked haltingly toward her.

_Fuck_. She had been through so much. _Too much_… and now _this_.

Slowly he lowered himself down on the floor, stretching his long body on his side along the mattress as he propped his head in his hand.

And he watched her. For several minutes, or several hours… he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about _anything_. Not anymore.

Except… that he loved her.

His hand was shaking like a leaf as he brought it up to delicately pull away a strand of hair caught on her lax lips. He stilled its tremor against her cheek and released a long soft sigh.

"God, I'm sorry, babe," he whispered. "I-I love you. I hope I can-… I hope you-…" So many fears clamored behind his lips for release that he simply gave up and collapsed his face on the mattress beside her.

_Oh, she smelled so, so good._ He pushed his face into her jaw and drew in a long slow breath. Like mate.

_Like __mine__, _his wolf reminded him helpfully.

Her delicate wildflower-honey was combined with a vernal and redolent sweetness – like a tender spring rain - coalescing exquisitely now with his own. He could smell himself and his wolf clearly; he didn't know why he hadn't understood before. He was in her body, in her breath, in her blood.

His wolf purred deep down in his being in the most profound and peacefully satisfied pleasure: it was a deep, comforting rumble that hummed in his heart, in his soul. It had _known_… it had known all along.

His hand quivered like a butterfly's wing as it ghosted over her shoulders, following the small swell of her breast, tracing down her side to light upon her flat stomach. There his palm rested- his hand so huge that it spanned from prominent hip bone to hip bone – and he closed his eyes.

_She carried his child._ Their tiny baby, growing in her womb; a product of his fathomless love.

"Oh, little girl…I'm gonna _try_…I'm gonna try _so hard_," he whispered in merely a breath into the sweetness of her neck, over his mark that she bore from just this morning. "Please…"

Paul paused and drew in a shaky breath. He released it in a whisper that fluttered over his stuttering heart. "I _want_ our baby…"

'

'


	41. Chapter 40 Ours

_Political notes: This is fantasy and is not intended to romanticize/normalize teen pregnancy – it's hard! _

**'**

**40 – Ours**

'

Bella felt like she was surfacing from a warm bath of honey as she emerged from a sweet and viscous slumber. Taking a cool, clear breath of consciousness, she tried to orient herself.

_Where was she? _

The sound of swirling, iridescent birdsong echoing around her was etched by a soft dry scratching and she languidly blinked her eyes open.

_Ahh… home. _

Taking stock of a body that felt deliciously heavy and lethargic, she was disappointed not to feel the sultry warmth of her mate curled around her. An instant spike of anxiety had her eyes darting, cheek turning….

…_there_ he was.

Only several yards away, Paul sat hunched at his new desk over a drawing, working studiously. A smile softened her lips as she blinked more awake, drawing in a carefully silent breath. Shockingly so engrossed in his sketch that he didn't notice her awaken, it was the first time she had ever seen him when he thought no one was watching. And she reveled in the intimacy of being to watch him without his guard or pretense.

She was struck how very much he looked like a little boy: vulnerable and guileless. Perched on the stool that came with the desk, one leg was drawn up and held to his side by his scarred arm. His forehead was wrinkled earnestly, his eyes focused and intense, and his tongue stuck adorably out of the side of his well-formed lips as they pursed and relaxed rhythmically in concentration. With deft, sure movements of his hand he was creating.

Creating something beautiful from that beautiful, brilliant mind.

The flaxen light of an established morning clung to his skin with adoration, slipping down his sleek musculature of his bare back, ghosting over the working tendons in his forearm, pooling around him like liquid gold. A work of art himself, he was so very beautiful. Inside and out.

_She loved him so much._

Bella's heart swelled in her chest as she pushed off the pillow to rest her cheek on her palm as she watched him with soulful admiration. She'd never tire of just _watching_ him.

But as he worked with that unpretentious sincerity, that boyish ingenuousness - completely unawares - she suddenly felt guilty. She was stealing a glimpse of a self that he still wasn't ready to share. The thought made her brow furrow in regret, and she softly cleared her throat.

"Hey," she whispered, her voice fallow.

Paul uncharacteristically started, his posture straightening, his tongue slipping quickly back into this mouth as his gaze snapped to hers.

"Babe," he croaked hoarsely. An uncharacteristic surprise pulled his eyebrows up.

Bella frowned in concern, pushing herself up more. He looked exhausted. And worried… or _something_. Maybe because she had fallen asleep at the dinner table last night? Bella internally winced. _What a dork._ She had fallen asleep with the entire Pack boisterously eating and laughing around her; they probably had shared a few at her expense. She was still just so tired these days.

"I-I'm sorry," Bella said quietly.

In a heartbeat, Paul had gracefully pushed off the stool and was kneeling before her. "For what?"

Bella sat all the way up and pulled her shoulder up to her ear. She wrinkled her nose. "Y'know… for being a total dork and falling asleep last night."

Paul's face melted into an overstated expression of sympathy as his hands reached out to push her hair back from her face and trail down over her shoulders. "Shh… you were tired. We stayed way too long, babe."

Bella drew back subtly, feeling oddly unsettled. Her gaze darted between Paul's eyes for a moment in confusion. She didn't understand the look that trembled anxiously in those deep black orbs.

"How do you feel?" he asked tentatively, like she might shatter under the weight of the mere words.

Bella swallowed, her arms snaking automatically to wrap around her middle as if trying to hold herself together. "I-I'm fine."

But her stomach plummeted. _That's what it was._ In his eyes…the pity, the worry, the lamenting condolence. _That look that she hated._

She had been too tired last night to really dwell on the laughable weirdness of the little "episode" with Embry and his silly spaghetti noodle, but the whole table had an undeniably extreme reaction. She had been painfully embarrassed by her freak-out – her "exaggerated startle reflex" courtesy of the good ole PTSD. But she had been even more mortified that it might confirm in their minds what they had probably suspected anyway: that she was some ruined, damaged little thing.

The Pack had been unusually focused on her – she had chocked it up to being the new plaything of an already playful day – and while she wasn't a big fan of attention, she hadn't really minded just at that moment because it had been so much damn fun. So much fun just to be normal again.

Yesterday, she too had never felt so much an inextricable part of the Pack.

But as reality washed cruelly over her in the light of a new day, that feeling was fading fast.

Bella's head hung in defeat. She blew out a slow breath along with the quickly ebbing sense of hope and peace that had been blooming inside her since she had come back to the Rez. No matter how much she wanted it… yearned for it… craved it…

…things were _not_ back to normal. Not at all.

Paul's gentle fingers tipped her face up to eyes that glistened with concerned questions. "Babe?"

Bella shrugged subtly out of his grasp and worried her lip.

"Heyyy… talk to me," Paul murmured, scooting up onto the mattress and sitting beside her. He looked her up and down for a moment – responding to her subtle cues of distance - and then wrapped his hands around his knees.

And he waited.

Bella exhaled a breath of defeat. "Th-they still think I'm broken," Bella whispered. She looked up and met Paul's gaze. "You do too."

Paul's head flopped forward for a moment as he expelled a breath. "No…" he looked back up with eyes that were liquid. "No, Bella… it's not that at all." He rubbed his face briskly and then held out his arms in pleading invitation.

Bella hesitated, but found she couldn't resist scooting into his embrace. The warm hum of his touch instantly soothed her anxiety and shame, and she collapsed against his chest with a sad sigh.

Paul brought up a hand that trembled poignantly to stroke over her hair and Bella pressed her cheek to his smooth pec.

"You need to Phase," she whispered into the driving percussion of his heart.

"No… that's not it, Bella," Paul murmured and then licked his lips audibly. "Look I suck at this. I mean, if you thought I sucked at the whole birthday thing… well that's like a goddamn tip-toe through the fuckin' tulips compared to what we gotta talk about."

His voice was stretched taut and hoarse with anxiety and self-doubt, and Bella lifted her head, looking into his eyes with an instant concern for her mate that razed her own. She brought a palm up to smooth over the stubble of his jaw as she gazed, deliberate and long, into each of his bottomless black eyes.

"What's wrong, Paul?" she breathed as apprehension pulled down her brow.

Paul's pressed his lips into a tense but lopsided smile as he sniffed in a stuffy breath and brought his fingers to ghost over her collar bone. "Nothing's _wrong_, babe… it's just… complicated."

"Tell me," Bella said quietly as she rearranged herself against him expectantly.

Paul swallowed audibly and licked his lips. "Babe… Sam thinks you're…" he paused his eyes darting between hers.

Bella nodded subtly in encouragement.

"…pregnant," the word was no more than a breath over his lips.

Bella's head unwittingly jerked back surprise, her eyes blinking rapidly.

It was the _last_ thing on earth she had expected.

Maybe that she was broken… or shouldn't be around the Pack… or sick… or vampires were coming back to kill her… _anything_.

Anything but … _pregnant_?

Bella sat up stiffly a little more as her eyes darted unseeing over the room. "S-Sam…?" she heard herself ask.

Paul nodded, his eyes watching her carefully. "It's your scent… That why you smell so fucking awesome. That's why the whole Pack was all over you yesterday," Paul paused as his hand skimmed down her arm to cover her hand. "Sam and Emily lost two babies last year, so he recognizes it. And it's the wolf's instinct to protect their sister," Paul's huge hand engulfed hers as he squeezed gently. "Their sister who's carrying a child."

Somewhere in the distance, Bella heard him speaking. Somewhere in the distance her heart clenched in sorrow for her friends' loss. _Somewhere_. But Bella felt strangely detached as if watching it all from outside her body.

Bella sat up straight and turned to fully face him on the mattress. "B-but w-we used a c-c…" her voice squeaked and fizzled in mortification.

Paul's lips hitched with tense humor. "Yeah," he chuckled as if at some private joke. "That's what I said too… but Sam said it has to be like, two weeks ago or something…"

Bella jerked her hand out from under his as she pushed away from him with a shriek of horror.

Paul froze, wide-eyed - as her body began to quiver, tears of gasoline igniting with incinerating sorrow as they burned her eyes. "B-but you s-said…" she hiccupped over her galloping sobs.

Paul was petrified, mouth agape and his brow pinching in consternation.

Bella desperately tried to rein in the bucking breaths of her despair. "Y-you s-said h-he didn't…" she collapsed her face in her hands as she broke down.

Warm arms were instantly around her pulling her back to his chest as his palms smoothed over her back. "_No_! No, Bella. He _didn't_," he rasped. "Oh, shit… he _didn't_ babe! Fuck. Babe, _it's mine," _his wolf inadvertently growled the word. "It _couldn't_ be anyone else's."

Bella looked up through her streaming tears with skepticism. She was so very, very afraid.

Paul's face was an overwrought with a complex mixture of emotion. But sincere. Utterly sincere. He smoothed his hands desperately over the slick tracks of her distress.

"Bella, you smell like _me_. _Me_. Your skin, your hair. It _couldn't_ be anyone else's… but you smell like _me_. You're carrying _my_ baby. Even the Pack recognized it. They're protecting _their cub_, babe."

Bella's eyes washed wildly over his desperate face as her lip quivered.

_Paul's baby? From before…_

With an about-face that gave her whiplash, instantly a protective terror rose up in her like a tidal wave. _From before?_ Then… _oh, no_… all the drugs...the abuse… her starvation… her heart had stopped _twice_.

Bella collapsed back into her palms as convulsive sobs wrenched her gut. _What did all that do to the tiny life inside her? Oh, God!_

Since she had awakened from her "coma", she had cried in fear, she had cried for the pain in her lover's eyes, she had cried for all she had lost… but she had never once cried for _herself_.

Too afraid to be vulnerable enough to see herself as a victim, she hadn't allowed herself to grieve for all the torture she'd endured. But _this_… the thought of _her child_ having to suffer so with her brought it all to the surface and, like a dam had been razed, all the pressure of doleful sorrow and pain gushed forth in full-body, soul-wracking sobs.

She felt Paul's frantic hands rubbing her shoulders, heard his stuttering words of condolence and regret… but nothing – _nothing_ - could staunch the tide.

"I'm _so sorry,_ honey. Oh, God, Bella… Please," he was frantically spluttering. "_Anything_, honey. It's still soon, we can fix it-"

_Except that._

Like the faucet had been wrenched shut, her torrent of emotion dried up instantly and her head jerked up in disbelief. "What?" she breathed.

Paul's mouth popped open soundlessly, his eyes wild and wide.

She didn't give him a chance to answer. She pushed roughly away from him, staggering awkwardly up to stand on the mattress and catching herself against the wall.

"_Fix it?"_ she choked hoarsely in absolute horror. "Fix it!" she rasped again her eyes snapping to his and narrowing in anger. "It not something _broken_, Paul!" she screamed. "This is our _child_! Our _baby_!"

She pressed herself up against the wall, sidling along the wall into the comforting corner as the bottom dropped out of her heart. "How could you _say_ that! How could you even _think_ it!" she shrilled as her gaze raked wildly over the bed. The bed where they had first made love. The very bed where their child had perhaps been conceived. Her eyes snapped back to his – understanding creeping over her with cold, repulsive fingers.

"You don't want it," she accused in a unbelieving whisper.

A stunned silence prickled sharply between them.

Bella's lips trembled as she slithered down the intersection of the two walls back to the mattress. "You don't want our baby…" she whispered numbly.

Instantly Paul's arms were around her and he was pulling her to his chest. She tried to push away, fighting him blindly with a crazed shriek, but he wouldn't let her go.

"**No…**n-no… _I do_! I _do_, Bella. Oh, God, I do…" Paul pressed his face into the crook of her neck as the tremble in his shoulders accelerated to shaking sobs.

Bella stilled.

Paul's hoarse sobs were muffled in her skin. "_Fuck_… I c-can't keep up. I-I just don't know what to do… I-I don't know what to say," he keened in a strange thin voice of desolation.

She wrapped her arms around him. "Shhh," she soothed as she laid her forehead against his jerking shoulder and tried to catch her own sprinting breath.

After a few minutes, his sobs slowed to soft rolling breaths. With an exhale into her hair he lifted his head and looked into her eyes. His face was etched with self-derision… and sadness.

"See, I _told_ you I suck at this…" he lamented dramatically.

Bella sniffed a weak smile and smoothed her hand over his shamelessly tear-stained cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Paul shook his head absently. "I thought maybe _you_ didn't want it – that's why you were so upset. And I want you to have a choice… it's _your_ choice…"

"No, it's _ours_," she contradicted quietly. "But for me… there _is no_ choice. You can walk away if you want." The words burned like acid on her tongue.

Paul shook his head vigorously as he gulped a swallow. "Wh-when Sam first told me… I… I punched him," his lips hitched up in a ghost of a smile. "Shit, I was so scared. You've already been through hell, and I feel like I just keep taking –taking- taking.." he caught his breath and his eyes blinked once slowly. "I'm so scared I won't be good enough. That I'll fuck it up just like I fuck everything up."

Bella frowned defensively and squeezed his shoulder where her hand rested, but he needed to talk right now. She _knew_. And she was listening.

"I mean, Jesus! Me? A dad! Fuck, I don't wanna be like him, _oh God_," Paul squeezed his eyes shut in anguish.

"You won't be," Bella slipped in a whisper of pure certainty.

"Lee – _the enforcer _–" Paul snorted with a little glimmer of humor, "walked me home and pulled my head out of my ass."

He rolled his eyes and Bella smiled.

He continued, "I'm so scared to _want_ stuff. I'm so fucking scared I'll screw it up and it'll leave," Paul's eyes dipped between them as he murmured, "just like things always did."

"Paul-" Bella began, bringing her hand up cup his cheek.

"No." he stopped her with a look of conviction. "I have to be strong enough to face it. To face my fucking fear. It gets in the way of shit," he met her eyes intensely. "Like _this_. And I want this, Bella. I want _you_… I want _our baby_… I-" the confidence dissolved in his eyes along with the words in his throat and all that was left was a poignant and heart-wrenching vulnerability. "But I'm scared."

Bella's heart had melted into a huge puddle in her chest. Her hands came down to grasp his fiercely. "Paul…," she whispered. "you don't _take_. You _give_. You've given me so, so much. If I am pregnant, you've given me that gift too," Bella paused and traced a thoughtful finger over his cheekbone with tenderness. "You'll make a great dad, sweetie. An _awesome_ dad."

"But I'm scared too…" she breathed.s

Like a see-saw, her fears resurfaced after his had spilt and they joined his laid bare between them. "I hadn't really thought about all the stuff he put me through… not really. Not like it was as horrible as it was. The drugs, the –the way he hit me, touched me… the fact I died. Twice," Bella swallowed the tremors in her voice and Paul squeezed her hands. "But thinking about _our baby_…" her voice broke and she leaned forward and collapsed her head against Paul's broad chest as his hand came behind to cup her head. "_Our baby_ going through all that…I- I'm scared."

"Ahh…" Paul sighed inadvertently as if he'd found a missing piece to the puzzle. "That's why you were so upset?"

Bella nodded against him and he squeezed her tighter.

After a moment he pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Lee said it was all really early and that healthy kids come from a lot worse," he tried to reassure her with borrowed words. "But we can go see Sue today. Regardless, we'll get through this, babe. We _will_," he breathed.

Bella looked into his steady, sincere gaze for several breaths. She believed him.

Paul leaned in and pressed his lips to hers with a chaste kiss that was infused with a palpable tenderness. He pulled away with a quiet smack.

Bella blinked. "But is Sam _sure_? I mean…"

Paul pursed his lips. "Em sent over some kinda pee-on-a-stick thing," he grimaced with comic discomfiture.

Bella laughed. "Well that should be an easy test to take, 'cause I gotta pee like a champ," she mused.

It was Paul's turn to chuckle as he gently disengaged himself and stood crossing to his desk. He pulled a foil-wrapped stick from amongst the loose papers and turned with a humorous brow lifted.

Bella's nerves prickled uncomfortably as she trailed him. Swallowing she stood and wiped her palms on her jeans nervously. But her eyes couldn't help but be caught by the drawing he was working on.

"Oh my God," Bella breathed, taking several steps closer, eyes locked on the exquisite image that was being painstakingly revealed. It didn't seem humanly possible, but this rendering was more detailed, more intricate… more gorgeous than any of his others.

Paul's gaze darted to it with a sheepish grin. "It was supposed to be a surprise. For your birthday," he mumbled in chagrin.

Bella reached out tentative fingers, just to touch the paper in awe. It was a simple but soul-wrenchingly beautiful portrait of she and Paul, woven from the deep recesses of his mind. Paul was staring with overt and passionate protectiveness at the audience, his arms around Bella. The image of Bella was like looking into her own soul. It captured all of her complexities – her fears, her strength, her adoration for her mate – as she leaned against her lover's broad chest looking outward with hope and happiness sparkling in her eyes. The delicate detailed drawing stopped at their arms however, an amorphous space carved out by the bare blank page in the center between them.

Bella gasped and looked up at him, instantly understanding.

"It's a work in progress…won't know how to finish it for another nine months," Paul murmured leaning down to press his lips to hers with a sweetness that made Bella's eyes burn.

Paul brought up the little device between them and she reached out to take it a trembling hand. His fingers lingered on hers and she met his gaze.

"One line, no. Two lines, yes," Paul said quietly.

'

'

Bella turned off the shower and stood under the ebbing drip of the crappy nozzle. She glanced reluctantly over to the toilet paper-wrapped stick sitting innocently on the counter. Peeing on stick was not quite as simple as it seemed, she mused idly.

Stepping from the small tiled stall, she grabbed up a towel and began drying off. As she rubbed down her front she paused, looking down at her flat stomach. She brought a hand up to rest over her abdomen with tentative, exploratory fingers.

_Pregnant?_

Could _Paul's baby_ be growing under her palm… right here, right now, this moment? It would certainly explain her boundless appetite and the fatigue. But she didn't _feel_ pregnant… or did she? What did it feel like? She rubbed her hand absently over the smooth skin of her stomach and tried to imagine her body ripe and full with his child. It was a ridiculously pleasurable exercise.

_Damn imprinting_, she chuckled affectionately to herself.

Drawing in a deep breath, she let out a long, steadying sigh as she wrapped the towel around her and rubbed down her hair. Leaving it damp and wild down her back, she resolutely picked up the test and opened the bathroom door.

She just couldn't make herself look.

Paul was perched on his stool, watching the bathroom door with overly-eager, expectant eyes like a dog left tied outside a store. The metaphor made her laugh.

Paul's lips hitched up in a knowing smile at his own expense, sharing in the humor as he realized he looked just as antsy as he probably felt.

"So…" his smile quickly faded. There was a look of… _hope_… that sparkled in his eyes and made Bella heart melt inside her chest.

Bella pursed her lips. "I couldn't look." She drew her shoulder up to her ear uncomfortably as he crossed toward her.

She held it out to him at arm's length.

He took it in his hand, but kept walking the next step, enveloping her as his other long, warm arm wrapped around her bare shoulders.

"So_ I_ gotta do this, huh?" He rolled his eyes with a mock long-suffering sigh.

Bella gave him a nervous attempt at a smile.

He unconsciously smoothed her shoulder soothingly. "So what do you _want_ it to be?"

She bit her lower lip with a vengeance and shrugged. "Whatever it is, I guess," she hedged lamely.

Paul smiled with that canny tilt to his brow. "No… that doesn't fly," he smirked. "I asked, what do you _want_ it to be, little girl?"

Bella stepped into his body and wrapped her arms around his waist as she rested her cheek against his sternum. "I dunno. I mean, I don't know if I would've _chosen_ this time, but if _it_ chose _me_… well I think it might help us all … well, heal a little, y'know?" She paused then and tilted her head so her chin rested against his chest, looking up at him. "And _I want your baby_," she breathed quietly. "Either now or sometime."

Paul's eyes softened to sweetness and he bent down to press his lips to her nose. "My puppy?" he laughed, instinctively lightening the intensity of such an intimate assertion.

"Yeah, your wolfy little cub," she chuckled.

In that mercurial way of his - that Bella hadn't seen in a long time she realized - Paul's face instantly went utterly serious. "Me too," he whispered.

His eyes snapped back to the thing in his hands and he deftly unwrapped it with one dexterous hand, holding her tightly with the other, while Bella watched his face.

With absolutely no expression, he looked at it for at least 30 whole seconds. Bella's stomach was starting to clench as she pulled back from him slowly, her eyes darting desperately between his.

With a flare to his nostrils, he looked down at her with an unfathomable love melting the deep onyx of his eyes. Leaning forward to her quivering lips he announced in a breath, "two lines. _Yes, Bella_."

Before he kissed her with such devotion and tenderness that it took her breath away.

After several minutes of a soul-melting kiss, Bella gasped and pulled away. "Lemme see," she pleaded.

Paul chuckled and handed her the stick.

Two lines. 'Clear as day. An inadvertent hand flew down to rest over her stomach.

It was covered gently by Paul's huge dwarfing palm.

"Oh my God!" Bella's eyes were wide as she looked up to his smile. "_Oh my God!"_

"Yep," he said popping the 'P' with a humorously slick eyebrow wiggle.

Bella just gaped at him blankly for several seconds as a warm rush washed over her body. With a little squeak, she threw herself into him, wrapping her arms around his huge frame. Paul picked her up his body and hugged her close.

"Congratulations, little girl," he mumbled between kiss after kiss on her giddy lips. "_And_… you know what else this means?"

Bella paused, looking at him – so close her eyes were crossed. "What?" she asked, catching his teasing smile.

"No more _socks_ for at least nine months," he grinned wickedly.

A confused frown warred with her smile.

Paul laughed. "Lemme show you what I mean, babe," he said, his voice dipping down into sultry.

He pressed his lips again to hers, but this time as thick, sweet and decadent as whipped cream.

"Oh, _I get it_," Bella mumbled into his lips as he walked with her toward the bed, his low purr of pleasure vibrating seductively between her legs.

Paul showed her anyway.

'

'

"Are you _sure_ about this?" Bella asked as she swung her feet idly off the edge of the little porch.

"Yep," Paul smirked. "We have an hour and a half before we have to go the clinic, it's a beautiful day… and my wolf is about ready to chew his way out of my chest to see you."

Bella smiled, kicking her feet higher. Even though it could be no other way with imprints – since the wolf chose for the man instead of the other way around (like with Brady) – she liked that his wolf wanted her as much as Paul did.

With a suggestive raise to his brow, Paul brought his hands to the waistband of his shorts.

Bella wiggled her eyebrows appreciatively and watched the show.

_Mmm_…

But within 30 seconds, that delectable – and talented - body had fallen forward and onto four paws, and in his stead was a huge silvery-grey wolf. The animal shook out its pelt absently and arched its back with a squeaky lupine yawn.

Bella jumped off the porch and wiped her palms on her jeans in anticipation.

Its gaze singly trained on Bella the wolf lowered its muzzle, flattening its ears sweetly and huffed in salutation.

"Hi Wolf," Bella greeted artlessly. She knew the wolf didn't care if she sounded like a dork, it was all about the intention. She had missed him too.

On slow, patient paws, the huge animal approached - its head higher than Bella's, even partially crouched like this in its non-threatening posture.

Bella held out her arms like a little kid and the animal trotted the last few steps to press its muzzle into her neck. Throwing her hands into the thick pelt and scratching the places she knew he liked, she giggled while the wolf went through its regular snuffling and meticulous inventory of her.

As usual, it ended its routine at her stomach, rooting under her shirt with a cool wet nose that made her squeal. It huffed warm air in and out under her shirt and then rubbed its massive jaw so, so gently over her stomach that she didn't even teeter on her feet. A soothing purr of contentment rumbled in its barrel chest.

It had done this every time they had met over the last week – taking careful stock of her and ending at her belly before she brushed out its pelt - but she had never understood the significance of it. She suddenly realized that the wolf had known about Paul's baby all along.

Bella threw her arms around the huge head and collapsed between the wolf's ears with a long, satisfied sigh.

They stayed like that for several minutes, enjoying the simple bliss of being together, until Bella sighed into the thick, sweet fur. "They're waiting…"

With a little reluctant growl, the wolf pulled back, and with a final snuffle to her stomach, then promptly went down on its haunches, flattening itself as much as it could to the ground.

"Are you _sure_ about this?" Bella hedged dubiously as she walked over and picked up Paul's discarded shorts and stuffed them in her back pocket so they hung down behind her.

The wolf blinked at her with his steady yellow gaze.

Bella licked her lips as she approached it. "I'm not gonna, like, hurt your back or something?"

The animal literally rolled its eyes with an indignant huff and Bella laughed.

Gingerly, she climbed up its side onto the huge animal's back. Situating herself – careful not to tug on the silky fur – she leaned down over the wolf's neck over its shoulder blades and grasped tufts of fur in her fists. Paul had told her to lie down like this.

"Tell me if I hurt you," Bella worried.

The wolf flicked her face with a surprisingly agile ear and she giggled.

Slowly the animal rose up to its paws and Bella held her breath. It was high! It took several slow, cautious steps, allowing her to acclimate, and then, with an adorable yip, started off in a loping trot. Its gate was the same smooth mercurial stride as Paul's and it felt more like riding a rippling wave of water than how she'd imagined riding a wolf would be.

Soon she relaxed into the leisurely, measured pace through the lush, verdant spring forest and she smiled with pleasure.

Paul took the "scenic route" to Sam and Emily's house – circling down by the babbling brook and up through a fern grotto. It was the perfect canvas for thoughtfulness and contemplation.

She reflected on how vastly her life had shifted in just one freaking morning, and allowed herself to fantasize vignettes of what their life could be like together as a…

… as a family.

"Paul," Bella asked quietly as they headed around up the hill toward Emily's. The wolf's ears flicked back attentively. "Y'know… I never really liked marriage," she said simply, pausing for several deft, smooth strides as she tried to scrape all her thoughts together. "But it might be nice… y'know… to have the same name and stuff." Bella worried her lip with her teeth as the wolf slowed its pace inadvertently, obviously paying rapt attention. "We could pick a _new_ one… just for us. Maybe some old family name of yours or something. I mean I don't want to get married like my dad did. Just for the kid." She sighed and rested her cheek on the thick pelt as its shoulder blades rolled smoothly under her. "But I'd like to be a family… _with you_."

The wolf stopped.

Bella picked up her head, suddenly insecure. Being with the wolf was so unintimidating – it always gave her a certain courage and comfort that she couldn't seem to manage with people – that she had let her thoughts roll unchecked over her tongue.

She quickly backtracked. "I mean, we don't hafta… I was just-… I just-…"

The wolf growled low in its chest in admonishment, and turned its head to regard her with one sober yellow eye.

Bella smiled weakly. "I mean, would that be okay? Only if you.." She stopped at the seriousness of his expression.

The wolf regarded her with a somber earnestness as a deliberate and warm, pleasured purr rolled under her stomach.

Bella's smile melted in relief. "We can talk about it more later," she added and scratched behind his ears. "C'mon… giddyup."

Paul huffed a breath with flick of his ears in rebuke.

But obliged anyway.

'

They were waiting for them.

Bella had called earlier that morning to ask Emily if it were okay for them to stop by. After talking with Paul more about just what exactly had passed last night, Bella found she simply had to see her. To see them. They had suffered silently and alone for far too long.

As she rode Paul's wolf up into the clearing from the forest, she spied them under the tree: Emily was folded peacefully on a blanket spread out under the luxurious branches of the oak, absently spinning the tall glass of lemonade in her hands. Sam was stretched out on his side in the grass, his gaze trained intently at the blades he was harassing with a nervous hand.

Bella knew he heard them, but he didn't look up.

"Em!" Bella called out to alert the woman, not daring to release her hold on the wolf's ruff long enough to wave.

Emily's gaze found them and she lifted her palm with her usual cheerful enthusiasm.

The wolf paused, probably taking in the same emotional subtext that Bella had, and then trotted across the large yard toward them. It stopped about forty feet from the couple and gracefully lowered to its haunches.

Emily stood expectantly.

Sam didn't move a muscle.

But when Bella started to gingerly lower herself off the back of the huge beast, Sam was suddenly at her side, pulling her gently off the animal's back and into his bare, muscular arms and a hug that was as tender as it was fierce.

And he simply held her.

For several breaths he wordlessly held her until – like so many of them had done yesterday, now it all made sense – he pushed his face into her hair and took an indulgent inhale.

Releasing the breath with a soft lupine hum of pleasure, he reluctantly let her slide to the ground.

Bella realized a low, cautionary growl was tumbling like gravel from her wolf's chest. With an apologetic glance up to Sam, Bella turned and tapped the wolf's snout in reprimand.

"None of that, Wolf," she murmured, running her finger up the center of the muzzle between the animal's eyes to scratch that favorite spot in front of its left ear in consolation. The wolf glared at Sam with petulant eyes as it pushed its huge jaw delicately into Bella's stomach, but purred anyway.

With an exasperated laugh, Bella turned back to Sam. With only a moment's hesitation, she took the two steps and collapsed against his muscled chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing him. She pulled back and tipped her face up to his.

"Everything okay?" Bella asked cryptically, noting the shadow of bruising still marring his cheekbone.

Sam nodded with his usual reticence.

Bella smiled sadly and released him, her gaze automatically darting to the wolf.

It was watching them carefully.

Lifting its muzzle to the air it yowled plaintively once and then stood on its paws, absently shaking out its coat.

"I think it wants you to Phase," Bella provided with a quizzical look.

"I _know_ what he _wants_," Sam grumbled tartly.

Emily stepped to his side at that moment and wrapped her arms around her mate lovingly. "Samuel, don't be like that," she admonished quietly. "_Go_… you need it. You _both_ do."

With a properly macho huff of annoyance, he leaned down and pressed his lips to his mate's for a lingering kiss before he stepped back away from them.

As Sam's hands came to the waistband of his shorts, Bella demurely averted her eyes, walking over to collapse on the blanket. When she turned back around, a black wolf was facing down the gray one with flattened ears, its canines bared peevishly. Paul's wolf's head dipped down and flashed long, dangerous teeth and Bella's stomach twisted in a pang of worry.

But she trusted Paul. They had talked long and deep about what had transpired between them; how they had each fought themselves as much as each other last night.

And it was time to get the festering out in the open so it could heal.

As if he had read her thoughts, Paul struck with a lighting playful feint that landed a nip on Sam's ear, and then he tore off into the woods with an unmistakably mischievous lupine chuckle rolling along with his mercury stride. Glancing at Emily with a long-suffering roll to his eyes, the wolf darted after him into the woods.

With their wolves safely off on an amiable run, Emily folded herself gracefully beside her with a smile. "So…" she gave Bella her usual wide respectful berth.

"Two lines," Bella smiled with air quotes and no preamble.

Emily squealed and leaned forward to wrap her friend in an excited hug. "Congratulations," she breathed into her hair.

"Thanks… yeah it's good," Bella nodded as she pulled back. Her joy melted into sincerity as she placed a hand over Emily's. "I'm sorry, Em," she whispered.

Emily gave her an unencumbered smile and squeezed Bella's hand. Then she leaned forward to pour another glass of fresh lemonade from the tray before them.

"It's okay, really it is, Bella," she said as the ice cubes tinkled in the glass pitcher. "I mean at the time it wasn't… but it also wasn't the right time. I know that now." Emily glanced over and met Bella's gaze with earnest eyes. "Sam was all torn up by phasing, it was all new, we had no Pack to lean on… things were so crazy!" She paused and took a resetting breath. "I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason. Sometimes, even unpleasant things."

Bella nodded uncomfortably and took the glass – she didn't know what to do with Emily's confident and subtle spirituality. Bella was much more… practical.

Emily sat back, picking up her own glass and taking a casual sip. "But… I told Sam we'd start trying again soon." Her lips lifted in a warm smile on the mobile half of her face. "You're giving me the courage."

Bella returned her smile, taking a sip. "Mmm," she hummed in compliment to the perfect blend of sweet, cold and sour.

Emily looked down at her glass and ran her finger around the rim absently as sober thoughts swirled in her eyes.

Bella set her glass down and waited.

"I think I _am_ going to get that surgery, Bella," she whispered quietly to her glass. The ice cube inside melted just enough to clink as it dropped in a timely punctuation.

Bella reached out a hand and placed it on her knee in simple support. Emily had felt ambivalent about it at best, Bella knew. Taking the money – any of it - for herself certainly carried with it several layers of qualms.

"I mean, I don't think it's all that big a deal for _me_. I'm used to it, it doesn't bother me… well not really. But I think it'll mean a lot to Sam." Emily looked up with eyes that searched for comfort and opinions.

Bella squeezed her knee. "Don't do it for Sam, Em. Do it for you," she murmured.

Emily pursed her lips, drawing in a long breath through her nose. "Yeah… it's _uncomfortable_ though."

"What? Taking what you deserve? Em, you give so much to everyone. You have to accept a little sometimes too," Bella said gently.

Emily smiled her crooked smile. "Seems like you're speaking from experience Ms. Swan."

"Don't tell," Bella whispered melodramatically.

Emily giggled and then faded back into serious. "Well it _would_ be nice not to get stared at every time I step foot off the Rez…"

"Hate to break it to you, but you're still gonna get the stares. You're beautiful, Em," Bella said simply, sincerely. Because she was. No matter what her face looked like, she was one of the most beautiful people Bella had ever met. Just like Paul.

"Sweet!" Emily chided, batting at her hand on her knee playfully. "At any rate, I was thinking I could get _everything else _checked out then too," Emily continued cryptically. "And we could try again after that."

Bella nodded with a face-cracking smile of approval and tipped her lemonade up to her lips taking a long swallow.

"So how are _you_ feeling?" Emily asked, covering her hand with her own.

Bella licked her lips. "Scared. Scared, but excited. Scared _to be_ excited. We have an appointment with Sue in another half hour or so."

"Good. Yeah, it is isn't it? Scary. But I have a feeling everything's going to be fine. I think a baby's going to be good for _both_ of you. _And_ for the Pack," she stopped and a sentimental smile curved her lips. "They were _so cute_ with you yesterday and they didn't even know it!"

Bella chuckled, her gaze darting to her lap in embarrassment remembering the way they had all nearly ripped poor Embry to shreds for his normal – albeit ubiquitously annoying - antics.

Just then a yip heralded two wolves chasing one another into the yard.

They burst out of the tree line, circling back on one another and pouncing to gambol in a rolling blur of fur. The grey wolf leaped out of the fray and went down on playful prone forepaws, its tail wagging in languid taunt behind it. The black wolf twisted back up on its paws in one lithe movement and sprang, but the grey wolf darted across the lawn, the other hot on its heels.

"Aww… they're like cute little puppies!" Bella squeaked in her best baby voice, louder than she had to.

Emily cut her eyes over to her with an appreciative and conspiratorial chuckle.

Both wolves froze in indignation at such an unmanly comment and Paul tossed his muzzle in the air in admonishment.

Laughing outright now, the two women stood as the wolves bumped collegial shoulders and then trotted side by side toward their mates.

Bella collapsed with a sigh of contentment against her wolf's heaving sides while her hands absently gravitated toward favorite scratch-spots.

"Go ahead," she heard Emily say and Bella pulled her face from where she was breathing in the musky settling scent of the wolf's pelt.

Sam's wolf was watching her with intense eyes, Emily with a casual arm slung up over its neck. "I think he wants to sniff you," Emily rolled her eyes in humorous commiseration.

Taken aback – but not really – Bella's hands left the beast to rub nervously on her jeans. Other wolves were not threatening, but somehow innately more intimidating than Paul. She glanced up at the yellow eye of Paul's wolf, now focused intently on its Pack mate.

"Can you Phase?" Bella asked quietly, much to her chagrin, still feeling nervous.

With a snap, Paul seemed to congeal out of thin air and his hands were tugging his shorts out of her back pocket.

Bella turned back to the wolf as it lowered its head with its ears pressed back submissively. It crept forward slowly, its tail wagging slowly in reassurance.

Only after Paul's familiar strong arms wrapped around her and he whispered in her ear, "It's alright, babe. It's the Pack's cub too – he won't hurt you." Then Bella could open her arms in hesitant welcome.

Sam trotted the last few steps and pressed his muzzle into the crook of Bella's neck from where she was pressed against Paul's chest. He snuffled and a low purr of lupine pleasure vibrated his snout as he collapsed on his haunches before Bella. Ignoring the cautionary growl that rumbled in Paul's chest – Sam rubbed his massive head very, very gently over Bella's midsection and rested it there sweetly.

Hands scratching absently in the black fur, Bella looked up at Paul's intense, somber eyes – still iridescent yellow, the wolf was so close. He was watching her with something like both pride and bliss. It was so _right_ to see such a look on his face.

She turned back to the black wolf that was rubbing gently against her. Even though Paul had said it in so many words, Bella suddenly truly understood that this was not just _their_ baby.

This was the _Pack's first cub_. And they would raise it together.

'

'

Paul stroked Bella's cheek from where she laid on his thigh as he drove her old truck toward Charlie's house. So much had happened in one day, but she felt completely at peace for the first time in as long as she could remember. A soft sigh of utter bliss escaped her lips over the low rumble of the engine.

"Lahote," Paul said suddenly, his voice quiet and sincere.

Bella tilted to look up at him as he kept his eyes carefully trained on the road.

"What?" she asked quietly.

Paul glanced down at her and his hand stilled on her cheek, his fingers curving under her jaw. "It was my great-grandfather. Caleb Lahote. He was in Ephraim Black's Pack – their hit man." His lips hitched up in a dark wry smile.

Bella's lips curved as she squeezed his huge thigh.

"Lahote. For _our name_," he clarified softly.

Bella pushed off his lap and sat up. Paul hadn't said a word all day about her long babbling monologue on the back of his wolf until this. Her gaze ran over his serious profile, deliberately trying to focus on his driving as if he were afraid of her reaction.

It struck her hard then… he _wanted_ this.

He wanted to be a family. With _her_. Hot, prickling tears sprang to Bella's eyes and her hand instinctively flew to her belly.

Paul's eyes cut over to her, and softened immediately. "Aww, little girl," he murmured with sweet concern, as his large hand covered hers on her stomach.

Bella sniffled impatiently. "Lahote," she repeated. "I _love_ it." She scooted forward and laid her head on his shoulder. "I like the name Caleb too," she whispered shyly.

Paul wordlessly reached out and took her hand in his. "If it's a boy…" he breathed, spacious wonder inflating his whisper.

'

They drove into Charlie's driveway and parked beside his cruiser. He had invited them over for dinner yesterday not even knowing what an auspicious occasion it would be.

Paul literally snarled at her when she tried to open her door herself, and within a heartbeat was around the passenger side of the pickup opening the door and pulling her into his arms.

Bella giggled and squeaked at his playful growls and tickling taunting nuzzles as he hopped lightly up the front steps and knocked on the door by kicking it.

Charlie opened the door with a surprised lift to his brow.

"Hey Charlie. Special delivery," Paul quipped around a wry smirk, sidling past him as Bella chuckled at her father's baffled expression. He was obviously bewildered – but pleased - by their jubilant moods.

Paul set Bella carefully down inside the house, as Charlie closed the door and turned with an awkward smile. Bella took the two steps and threw her arms around her father in an uncharacteristic hug. Taken somewhat aback, Charlie hesitated and then wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey, Bells," he murmured into her hair.

Bella drew back and grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"So, uh… you guys hungry? I got us some pizzas," Charlie took a step back and rubbed his palms on his pants.

Bella nodded eagerly. She was hungry. _All the time_ it seemed these days.

Taking Paul's hand, she tugged him toward the kitchen while Charlie trailed after them.

"Four pizzas?" Bella gaped incredulously at the stack of boxes on the table.

Charlie's hand came up to scratch the back of his neck. "Uh, well one for you and me," he fixed Paul with a snide smirk as he jerked a thumb toward him. "The rest are for him."

Paul laughed and gave him a two fingered salute.

Bella immediately went to the cupboard to pull out plates as Charlie opened one of the boxes.

"So dad," she began as she set the dishes on the table. "We have some good news."

Charlie turned from where he was pulling out a slice of her favorite mushroom pizza and glanced between Paul and Bella suspiciously.

Paul chuckled and sidled up to Bella wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back into his chest.

"Yeah, Bells?" he promptly dropped the slice of pizza and turned fully around, sensing the gravity of her next words.

"I'm pregnant," she said simply with no introduction.

Charlie's mouth popped open in shock and he stood there gaping at her for at least a minute. Finally he fumbled for the chair nearest him and pulled it out to promptly collapse into it. "Pregnant?" he gasped as his gaze raked the floor.

Bella nodded grasping Paul's arms tighter nervously. "We went and saw Sue today and she said – so far – everything looks good."

Charlie's stunned gaze returned to her eyes and his brow dipped. "B-but …Ah…it's…uh…" he stammered senselessly as Bella's anxiety started to rise.

Paul leaned down and pressed his lips to her temple. "It wasn't planned, but it's awesome news," he obviously tried to cue her father, throwing in a withering glare for good measure.

"B-but… ah… how far along are yeh, Bells?" he asked hoarsely.

Bella licked her lips and glanced up to Paul nervously. "Um about a month."

"A month," Charlie repeated dully, his brain still hadn't quite jumpstarted apparently.

Bella frowned as tears prickled in threateningly in her eyes. "Look dad it happened b-before… I was pregnant all along through..-"

As her voice stuttered over the still debilitating pain, Charlie's eyes went wide in understanding and it obviously razed any tentative concern.

He jumped up off the chair and grabbed her up in his arms, pulling her to his chest. "Shh… baby girl. I'm just … well, surprised. I'm happy. Real happy," he soothed stroking her hair. He pulled back and brought his calloused fingers to her chin and looked into her eyes steadily, "I just can't barely believe it. My baby girl's gonna have a baby?" he breathed. "Bells, you'll be a great mom, alright."

Bella smiled soggily and sniffled.

Charlie's gaze darted up to covertly glare at Paul.

Bella chuckled in spite of herself with a conspiratorial wink to Paul.

"I guess I should say congratulations, huh," Charlie reached out and clasped forearms with her mate briefly, while he held his daughter protectively to his side.

The three stood there, awkward and silent in the old beat up kitchen for several minutes while Charlie held Bella's head to his shoulder.

Paul shifted his weight uncomfortably and Bella came out of the relieved stupor at having the last major hurtle of the day behind her. She picked up her head. "I'm starving, you guys wanna eat?" she asked brightly turning to her dad.

"Uh, sure thing, Bells," Charlie mumbled, reluctantly releasing her. "I mean, what better way to celebrate somethin' like this than pizza from Jojo's?" he snorted dryly.

Bella grinned. "It's perfect actually." Because it was. She didn't need anything fancy; she craved the ordinary and usual at this point. So much had changed so fast - and was going to keep on changing – that something as comfortable as oily second-rate pizza was the perfect way to celebrate something as mind-blowingly exciting and frightening as Paul and her having a child.

She stepped out of her father's embrace and took the two steps into Paul's, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing his chest soothingly. His body relaxed under her touch as his hands came up to cup her jaw.

He tilted her head up to him and smiled as he leaned down for a sweet and lingering kiss. "Mmm…" he hummed indolently against her lips. "Let's get you two some food, huh?"

Bella nodded in his hands as her gaze darted between his dark soulful eyes. The reality of their child was still settling over them both – it would probably take a while – but every time he made mention of their baby, it made another piece of her heart slide into place. "I love you," she mouthed.

Paul squeezed his eyes shut for a moment in relish as he squeezed her with a deliciously overt possessiveness.

Soon they were all sitting at the old metal kitchen table around cracked-open boxes of pizza. Bella soon forgot the lingering uncomfortable tension in the room as the need of her body demanded she pay judicious attention to the job of filling it.

"So…" Charlie began suddenly.

Bella and Paul both looked up from their pizza.

"What're you two gonna do, now?" he asked quietly – but with a subtle edge of challenge - taking a deceptively casual bite of his pizza and then skewering Paul with hard eyes.

Bella was confused.

Paul wasn't, apparently.

He set down the slice in his hands with deliberate slowness and wiped his hands on the paper napkin with a cagey tension.

Bella dropped her pizza and placed a quick, greasy hand on his forearm. She didn't understand what was passing between these two, but Paul's wolf was certainly reacting to the subtext.

Paul turned to her and place his warm palm reassuringly over her knuckles. He looked deep into her eyes and smiled as his body relaxed infinitesimally. He turned emphatically back to Charlie and gave him a glittering smile.

"We're gonna get married – but not for _the kid_," his gaze again found Bella's. "For _us_. We want to be a family together."

Bella squeezed his arm as a sappy dorky grin paraded across her face, heedless of her attempts to smother it.

Charlie dropped his pizza and Bella's gaze darted back to the head of the table. He was carefully dabbing at the corners of his mouth with a red-smeared napkin. Evenly setting it down, he leaned his forearms on the table as he nodded slowly, his gaze darting between them. Bella suddenly realized that this must be the continuation of one of the conversations they had had together when she was "out."

"So, you asked her an' everything?" He asked after a moment, his eyes darting pointedly to Bella's "bare" left hand resting on the table.

"Dad!" Bella sat up straight, annoyed by his subtle reprimand of her mate. She didn't need things to be all traditional – one-kneed proposals, blinding rings, fancy weddings: they just weren't her. It was the _meaning_ of the bond that was important, and Paul had made sure she understood how important that was to him too. It was perfect. _He_ was perfect.

Paul slung a casual, comforting arm around her shoulders and cocked his head. "We've talked about it," he replied coolly.

Charlie rolled his eyes dramatically. "Jesus, son. That's not how yeh do it," he groaned, pushing back from the table with a scrape of his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

Paul glanced humorously at Bella and disengaged himself from her, dusting his hands off casually. "Well, just how _do_ you do it now, Charlie?" he asked with a sarcastic smirk.

Bella didn't understand exactly what was passing between them, but Charlie had obviously diffused Paul's tension. Somehow.

_Men_, Bella thought wryly to herself.

Her father jerked his chin toward the door and pushed off his chair, stalking out of the room without a backwards glance.

Paul turned and placed a quick peck on Bella's bewildered cheek. "Be right back," he whispered and unfolded his long body from the chair, stuffing his hands in his pockets and ambling after with that fluid, nonchalant gait of his.

Bemused, Bella looked down at her pizza, leaching oil onto the plate. She idly picked up a mushroom and munched on it while she heard her father clomp loudly up the stairs and wondered whether Paul had followed him with his silent footstep.

She took a sip from her water, the ice clinking against the glass and idly turned Paul's beer around to read the label. As the minutes ticked on, she became more antsy. She pushed her half-eaten – fourth (_damn_, he could eat these days) – piece of pizza back and grabbed a one of napkins to wipe her hands and face nervously.

Finally she heard her father's heavy step descending the stairs and she pushed her chair out expectantly.

Charlie strode into the room, with a feigned ill-tempered harrumph, and met Bella's gaze. "That boy o' yours don't know nothin', Bells," he grumbled.

Bella scowled in instant defense of her mate. "Dad!" she frowned as she stood, her arms crossing over her chest of their own accord. "He's been _awesome_. Just _freakin' awesome_," she chastised passionately.

Charlie's face broke in a wicked smile and she realized he was teasing her. He crossed the kitchen and tenderly grasped her upper arms, pulling her in to press his lips to her forehead. "I know he has, Bells. I'm just playin'." He turned as Paul entered the room looking sheepish. "Kiiindahh," he amended with a melodramatic glare toward the man, dragging the word out in humorous warning.

Bella giggled in spite of herself, it was good to see those two getting along. Kinda.

Charlie released her and took a few steps back to lean against the counter. Bella's gaze flitted between her father and Paul, whose ubiquitous confident bravado had melted into an anxious diffidence.

"Paul?" Bella took two worried steps toward where he hesitated in the doorway.

He shook his head imperceptibly and swallowed, pushing off the doorframe and taking slow measured steps toward her. His eyes were locked on hers, deeply, intensely.

Bella froze and her hands dropped to her side as her gaze darted between his, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Shh, it's okay," he murmured soothingly as he snaked a hand under her hair to cup her jaw. His touch instantly relaxed her.

"Charlie's just showing me the error o' my ways," his gaze cut over to her father as smirk ghosted his lips.

Without another word, Paul folded gracefully down on both knees and Bella's eyes went wide. She tried to swallow her heart which had instantly risen in her throat choking her.

Kneeling making him just about eye-level, his gaze bored into hers with an entirely different level of intensity than she had ever seen. He took her trembling hands in his strong grip and pulled them up between them.

"Babe, I love you," he whispered, passion bleeding through the hoarse crack in the words. "Forever," he added quietly, surely.

Tears sprang to her eyes, blurring his beautiful face and she desperately blinked them away. She bit her quivering lips to still them.

Paul squeezed her hands reassuringly as his loving gaze washed over her face. "Bella, will you be a family with me?" he asked simply. "Will you marry me?"

Bella lost the battle with her impending tears and they spilled over her cheeks freely. She nodded, muting her sob with her teeth on her lip.

Paul's face softened and he leaned in to kiss her nose. "You have to say it," he whispered warm over her wet cheeks.

Bella swallowed and sniffed gracelessly.

Paul smiled.

"Y-Yes Paul. I-I will," she finally managed to hiccup. "God, I love you so much," she rasped fiercely as she tried to fall forward into his embrace.

"Ah-Ah-Ah…" he chided, preventing her with his gentle grip on her hands.

Bella's brow pulled down in confusion as he released one hand and reached behind him.

Eyes trained intently on hers, he brought around a small dog-eared box and Bella gasped.

"This was your great-grandmother's," he murmured. "Charlie wants us to have it."

Bella's eyes widened as he opened the lid. Nestled in the homely old cotton was a ring. It was silver – tarnished with age- and unusual. Paul's huge fingers took the tiny thing out and held it before her while she studied it. It was very old, beautiful and unique: an intricate pattern like blue stained glass was surrounded by modest garnets that winked in the light, settled and serene.

Bella's eyes cut to her father who was leaning against the counter, pursing his lips against the tears glistening in his eyes.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. She turned back to Paul, stunned. "It's perfect," she breathed. "_You're_ perfect."

Paul chuckled and held the ring out with a lift to his brow.

Bella stretched out her hand between them and his large hand – now trembling – took her left hand in his while the other brought the ring to her finger.

He paused, his eyes glancing up into hers. Deeply. "I love you," he mouthed silently.

Bella's eyes were wide in wonder at such an unexpected moment. "Me too," she breathed.

Slowly he slid the ring on her finger and they both watched in awe as the symbol of their profound and unfathomable bond slid so naturally, so perfectly into place.

After the trauma, the heartache, the frenetic international trips and weeks of anguish… it was simply sublime perfection. She would remember this moment - every detail of it - always. The perfect proposal: surrounded by pizza boxes, in the battered old kitchen of her childhood, with the man she loved so dearly kneeling before her placing her great-grandmother's simple, beautiful ring on her finger while her sniffling, red-eyed father looked on.

Like his restraint had been suddenly razed by the same rush of overwhelming emotion washing over her, Paul grabbed her up in his arms and stood, pulling her off her feet as he pressed his lips passionately to hers.

"_Mine_," his wolf growled in possessive satisfaction against her mouth.

Bella pulled back and looked into his eyes with a smile. "Yep," she chuckled, popping the "p."

Because she was.


	42. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

><p>'<p>

Bella screamed in unbridled, unrestrained, absolute terror, and struggled to press her face into the hard muscled chest beside her against the violent whipping. The rushing wind stealing her breath, Bella bit her lip and groaned with the roiling, jerking impact.

Then, just like that, it all simply… stopped.

Eyes popping open in fearful anticipation, she felt the telltale slow lurch of and sway that heralded more certain punishment.

"Oh my God! Not another one!" she squeaked as she looked up to where Jacob was laughing boisterously.

"Oh yessss…" he growled playfully with an evil eyebrow wiggle. "And this one's gonna be the fucking shit!"

Bella grinned like a maniac and smooshed herself further into his side as the rollercoaster's ascent wound the knot in her stomach fabulously tighter.

They hovered at the top of the towering peak, slowing almost to a complete stop that made her tremble. Bella gasped, her eyes panning the 6-story view of an amusement park that she and Jake had only dreamed of visiting since they were old enough to say Mickey Mouse without a lisp.

Jacob tightened his arm around her shoulders and bent down, whispering in her ear, "three, two, one…"

Bella screeched at the top of her lungs as the cart hurdled down the face of an impossible incline toward an ominous triple loop.

"Open your eyes Bells!" Jacob yelled, even while he squeezed her protectively to his side.

Bella did so to see the ground rushing toward them at an alarming speed, only to be yanked into a head-spinning, topsey-turvey vertigo as they swooped upside down with enough g-force that Bella's long braid clung to her waist.

"_Holeeey shhhiiiit_!" Bella screamed the uncharacteristic curse while Jacob chortled in glee at her expense, holding his other arm up with carefree abandon.

Panting raggedly like she'd just sprinted five miles, Bella's cheeks were flushed and she felt like her eyes were plastered open in permanent shock by the time the cars rolled into the boarding dock at a duplicitously sedate pace.

It was fantastic.

Jacob leaned in and kissed her temple as the attendant lifted the padded bar. "Welcome to Disneyland. We finally made it, Bells," he murmured over his breathless chuckle. "… wanna do it again?"

Bella nodded enthusiastically as he stood and effortlessly lifted her out of her seat, swinging her onto the platform.

Blinking in disoriented overwhelm, Bella was just frowning at the tenor of a particular familiar hum as Jacob was turning around and…

_Pow_!

Paul threw his fist into Jacob's jaw. He hadn't put his heart into it – not really - because Jacob's face merely snapped back with a deafening crack.

"Sir! You can't…" a strained female voice was shrieking behind him as Paul wrapped his arms around Bella and lifted her off her feet into his chest, burying his face in her neck.

With another glare at Jacob, who was rubbing his jaw and simultaneously trying to hide his snigger, Paul stalked past the manager who was shrilling uselessly for security. Paul snarled petulantly in her face as he reached a hand up and effortlessly vaulted the six-foot high fence with his wife held facilely in one arm, ignoring both Bella's squeak and the stunned silence of onlookers.

On the other side, he pulled her closer, snuffling over his mate's face, neck and body in agitated lupine assessment as he strode slowly towards the rest of their party.

His body was still trembling.

Bella sighed with tender exasperation as she pulled his jaw down to press her lips reassuringly to Paul's. "Shh, sweetie. Everything's okay," she murmured against his mouth as she nuzzled him.

Bella understood –now, just a little too late - that in combination with the crowds and unfamiliar territory, her very normal screams of absolute terror on the largest roller coaster in the park had been too much for his wolf to handle. And she felt guilty.

Well, a _little_.

Bella looked over her shoulder to see Jacob rolling his eyes melodramatically at his Pack mate as he patiently pushed through the squeaky turnstile and jogged out of the exit line. He punched Paul in the bicep as he fell into step with them.

"Jesus, Paul. I had my arm around her the whole time…she only almost fell out that _once_," he whined humorously with a conspiratorial wink for Bella.

Bella scolded him with a mock frown, and he snickered unrepentantly over Paul's warning growl.

"Mommy!" Caleb squealed in bouncy greeting from where he was being held in Leah's jerking arms. Unlike Jacob, she was making no bones about laughing her head off at Paul's expense.

"Cay! Did you see mommy?" Bella smiled as the four year old nodded enthusiastically, reaching out to her with chubby arms.

"But it was funny," Caleb informed her as Paul set her down and their child was hoisted into Bella's arms by Leah who was struggling to breathe through her chortles. "Papa almost got furry," he giggled covering his mouth as his mirthful eyes looked up at his father.

Bella kissed his rosy, brown cheek. "Papa was just worried. He's a very good protector," Bella soothed automatically – even in such an innocent context she was always fiercely supportive of Paul.

"But you know what this means, don't you?" Bella asked mysteriously in a stage whisper.

Caleb shook his head earnestly, his fine curls floating in the early summer breeze. He had auburn hair that streaked butterscotch in the summer; a striking contrast against his rich tawny complexion.

Bella looked up with a sly grin at Paul, who still had a possessive palm on her shoulder. "Papa's gonna have to go on the next one _with_ mommy!" Paul was under the mistaken impression that he was just here to play bodyguard and not play himself.

_Boy, was he gonna be surprised._

Paul snorted with a properly affronted eye-roll, but squeezed her shoulder in silent concession.

"And you know what _that_ means, Auntie Lee?" Jacob announced grandly, continuing on past them to wrap her in his long arms, even while she batted at him playfully. "That _you're_ gonna have to go on the next one too with Uncle Cheese!" Jacob gave Leah a slovenly, slurpy kiss on the jaw while she squirmed and tried to pry herself out of his grasp with a groan of disgust.

It was no secret that Leah was uncomfortable with both PDA _and_ rollercoasters.

"Uncle Chee!" Caleb squealed, reaching his arms out to get in the game. Ever since Paul had explained that Jacob was the Pack's chief… the "big cheese" – which Caleb had found hilarious – Jacob had been eternally dubbed "Uncle Cheese" in the eyes of the tyke. The name had been enthusiastically embraced by the Pack, of course, because Jacob _was_ both big and cheesy (as Embry had pointed out on numerous occasions).

Jacob reached out a long arm and snatched his nephew out of Bella's arms pulling him into the knot of loud smooches.

"Chee! Chee!" a little voice shrilled in demand as Raven leaned forward eagerly from where Sam held her.

"And another one?" Jacob growled, scooping up the three year old to the musical giggles of both toddlers.

Bella leaned back into Paul's chest with a sigh of bliss at the loving antics before her. Their son was the spitting image of his father – except his eyes and hair – and it made her ridiculously happy to see him squealing in delight. Having the childhood that Paul, himself, had never gotten but was doing such a wonderful job of fostering at her side.

_They were a family. Her mate. Her child. Her Pack. _

_Hers._

Paul wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the crown of her head with an echoing purr – obviously content to have her back in his arms.

Emily was turned talking to Sam quietly, a palm resting idly on the small bump of her stomach.

"Em, you doin' okay?" Bella called out in concern. She had just finished the months of morning sickness for their second – and the Pack's fourth cub – and they had all decided now would be the perfect time for this impromptu and much deserved vacation.

Because Bella would be next.

Emily had conceived Raven almost immediately after Caleb was born – to fatherly Sam's ecstasy – and the two children had grown up as close as siblings. Just over nine months later Sonya had been born to Jared's mate Kim… and then shortly after, Emily had gotten pregnant again. It had been like clockwork, even though the women had neither prevented nor planned it.

And like accepting the quirks of scent, the intricacies of dominance and possession, the power of the two imprinted bonds of the Pack and all the other idiosyncrasies that came with the supernatural wolves, they had all easily embraced the fact that the same instinctual magic would determine the order and timing of the Pack's cubs. Bella supposed it was only natural that there would be only one pup at a time for the Pack: the pregnancy and birth of each child had such a profound effect on every single one of them. But a selfish little part of her wished it had been her turn again this time; both she and Paul wanted another.

Emily glanced up to the two children now laughing in escalating hyperness with the well-placed tickles being administered by their uncle. "I'm good," she smiled with a wink. "I was just discussing the possibility of an ice cream option with Sam," she said in a low conspiratorial murmur.

"Ice cweam!" Caleb shouted jubilantly with an uncanny ability to hear the whisper amid the jostling distraction. "Rae-Rae! Ice cweam!" he incited his cousin's squeal of delight with a frenetic bounce up and down in Jacob's hold.

"Uh, oh…" Bella groaned with a commiserating glance to Emily. Jacob had a way of riling those two up like no one else. It was probably a good thing Leah couldn't conceive while she was still Phasing.

"C'mere you little monsters," Paul growled playfully, absently nuzzling Bella's hair before disengaging himself and stepping forward to grab up a tiny child in each massive arm.

Still grinning wildly at each other, the two immediately settled down - as they always did in his arms– and the looming threat of an over-excited toddler meltdown was successfully avoided. Even the cubs responded intuitively to Paul's gentle – but tangible – dominance.

He hoisted one up to straddle each shoulder in typical configuration and Caleb and Raven began playing their usual rhythm games back and forth over the top of Paul's head.

Emily looped an elbow through Bella's and they strode off together toward the next ride. Jacob had petitioned just two rollercoaster rides before heading over to the thrill of the _main_ attraction: Winnie the Pooh.

"Jeesh, there're so many people!" Bella exclaimed as their party wove through the crowds, many of whom inevitably stared at the striking party. True to Bella's prediction those years ago, Emily still got stares even after the plastic surgery had restored her beautiful face to near perfection, but it wasn't just _her_ that drew wandering eyes. Even fully dressed – which the men had complained about incessantly having been spoiled by living fairly exclusively among Pack on the Rez – the three huge, perfectly sculpted men and Leah's tall, athletic beauty made a stunning sight. If Bella had another personality, she might feel insecure or even jealous walking in such extraordinary company, but she was quite happy to fade into the obscurity of ordinary.

She realized that this was really Paul and her first foray out into the world at large since they'd been together. At that thought she glanced behind her at her mate, holding a strong arm up around each child as they chanted some sing-song little thing they had made up and tapped a rhythm back and forth on Paul's head.

He strode with the same immutable power and incontrovertible masculinity, somehow managing to look even more dangerously formidable tenderly holding two little singing kids beating their tiny hands against his short jet-black hair. He was a fantastic father, an even better lover, and her perfect mate. The years had made him undeniably the best friend she had ever had, even with such close "siblings" she had in Jacob and, now, Emily. She had patiently listened until he could speak, and he had done her the same favor and together they had grown into both themselves and each other with respect and tenderness.

_Tender. Always tender._

A familiar warm flush rose up from her soul in overwhelming adoration. _Damn she loved that man. _

His eyes always seemed to be watching her and now was no exception. As soon as his dark gaze met hers, his lips curved in a slow and sexy smirk, raising a sultry opposite brow as if he knew she was thinking. He probably did. Their bond seemed to impossibly deepen every day.

'

'

About thirty minutes of standing in line and two minutes, 45 seconds of ride later, Paul emerged from Space Mountain with his arms wrapped tightly around his mate.

And he was laughing. _Laughing hard_.

It had been ridiculously fun to goof around in line, the best part being Jacob and him scaring the shit out of some punky kids who thought they could cut. Then on the stupid ride through what must have passed for darkness to human eyes, it was pretty fucking awesome watching Bella laugh and scream, clinging to him deliciously like a date in a horror film. He was pissed he had let Jacob take her on the first one.

Very pissed.

But as if that cake had needed any icing, the _piece de resistance_ was Leah; she squealed like a little girl for every last second. He was never going to let her live it down.

They easily found Sam and Emily, faithfully wiping ice cream from a pair of satisfied faces as they sat on a bench in the shade from the early California summer sun.

"How was it?" Sam asked over his shoulder as he wiped ice cream off of Raven's nose, without even turning to see them weaving through the throngs of other park-goers.

At his preternatural cuing Emily looked up and took in the two sets of ear-to-ear grins with a hearty laugh. "That good, eh?"

"It was freaking awesome!" Bella gushed, squeezing his arm.

Paul snickered wickedly, "Yeah, Lee squealed the whole time like a total pus-"

Bella looked up at him sharply even as Leah snorted loudly in fruitless denial.

"_Ahhh_… puss-bucket," Paul amended with a saccharine grin.

"What's a puss-bucky, Papa?" Caleb's eyes snapped to his father quizzically with his infamous attention to every minute detail. It was getting impossible to get anything past that kid.

With a devilish glance to Jake and Leah, who were smirking expectantly to see what he came up with to get out of this one, he released Bella and squatted in front of his son.

"Well, Cay. A puss-_bucket_ is what Auntie Lee needs when she has a runny nose; a tissue's just not enough…" he began, dabbing away a drop of ice cream off one of those curls. Bella's huge, soulful eyes stared back at him as their child nodded once.

"Gross," he affirmed soberly.

"Very," Paul agreed with a grin.

"That's _snot_, Papa," Jacob corrected helpfully over a galloping chuckle. "… not _puss_."

Paul skewered Jacob with a glare over his shoulder, and turned back to his son with a deceptively even and calm amendment. "Okay, well you can _also_ use one when Auntie Leah gives Papa a pain in his butt and sometimes it oozes…" a humorous smile pulled at his lips at Caleb's instant peal of giggles. 'Butt' was one of those words that quivered hysterically on the edges of 'appropriate' after all.

"Cay, what kind of ice cream did you have?" Bella asked showering glares over the three huge sniggering wolves as she sat beside Emily on the bench.

"Vanilla, and Rae-Rae got scrawberry," Caleb's attention was effectively distracted.

"Scrawberry," Raven confirmed in her bright little voice as she took another careful lick of a cone that was melting all over her fist.

Paul leaned in and took a monster bite from his son's own languishing ice cream. "Mmm," he hummed with a sly smile.

"Papa!" Caleb complained around a smile.

"Okay, _children_…" Sam interrupted with a mock-stern glare. "I think the _real kids_ have waited long enough to meet Winnie."

"Pooh!" Raven squealed, happily ditching her ice cream to her father's petitioning hand.

With a snarky grin aimed at Paul, Sam made quick work of his daughter's generous left-over cone. It was a running joke that Sam always got the good stuff because Caleb already had his father's ravenous appetite that typically left only scraps of their occasional childhood sweets.

With Bella's ever-useful wet-wipes, their parents soon had the sticky cleaned off hands, face and knees and the group moved in an exuberant pack toward the kiddie side of the park.

With Jacob and Leah on either side, Caleb and Raven swung their clasped hands to their own hilarious version of the Winnie-the-Pooh song, while Emily and Bella trailed chuckling as they bumped shoulders like the two close friends they were. Paul and Sam strode protectively behind the two women, overtly daring anyone to so much as look at their mates.

"_Deep and the hunter's aching wood,_

_Where Cwistopher's robbing paid,_

_You'll find the unchanting neighborhood,_

_Of Cwistopher's childed days…"_

"Look! It's…"Jacob looked over his shoulder helplessly with a grimace of utter dismay for the tall yellow-suited character who was standing along the side of the path.

"Pluto," Sam snorted.

The two children looked back at the parents mimicking Jacob's expression comically.

"Doggie," Emily provided.

Caleb and Raven both nodded with an "oh, _right_…" look on their faces that made Paul laugh, before they turned back a little more cautiously to the poor teen in the fur suit who was probably dying of heat stroke.

As they neared the towering creature with a huge head, they each slowed. Bursting apart from each other, Raven nearly climbed Jacob's leg in fear as Caleb cowered at Leah's side.

Paul frowned as Leah tried to cajole the tiny boy closer to the huge character that was dorkily flopping both paws over its leering grin in what was probably supposed to be a cute and unimposing gesture.

At the first little squeak of fear from his son, Paul strode quickly forward to scoop the child up – making him at least eye-level to the cartoon dog.

Caleb clung frantically to his father.

"I don't like that doggie, Papa," the little boy quavered, his hand fisting into Paul's shirt.

"I could take 'em easy," Paul whispered with a wink to his son.

At that, Caleb regained some of his ubiquitous confidence. "Yeah, Playdoh… my Papa wolf is way bigger than you and he has sharp teeth… and _nice_ fur."

Paul tilted his head in agreement, that suit did look a kinda matted. Probably with tears and snot from all the little kids it scared. _The fucker._

The character looked up at Paul's towering height and goofily placed both paws over his eyes in mock fright.

"Growl, Papa," Caleb urged in a whisper.

Paul couldn't resist such an impassioned plea.

He bared his canines and snarled – only half-heartedly, but it was still an undeniably inhuman sound. The floppy paws dropped in shock as the boy in the costume lost all pretenses and jumped back in very real terror.

_Probably peed his pants_, Paul chuckled to himself as he gave his son his signature smirk.

"Yay! Papa!" the boy lauded and collapsed against his father with adorable boyish pride.

The poor terrorized Pluto cowered off with his handlers as Paul turned back to the group.

"Yay, Uncle Paw!" Raven rejoined from Jacob's arms, clapping her tiny hands together.

Jacob's eyes were rolling out of his head. "You really showed _him_, huh?"

Paul grinned pitilessly.

Leah socked him good in his other arm. "Actually I think we should look for Snoopy too. And Goofy! He could be your Second… and you could start your own Pack!" she goaded, obviously trying to reclaim her "bitch card" from where it had fallen out on that rollercoaster.

Paul's eyes narrowed. "Lee, you're such a little fu-…"

"Ah!" Bella interrupted frantically.

All eyes in the group snapped to Paul.

Leah crossed her damn arms over her chest and grinned triumphantly.

_Aw, shit_.

"Say it Papa! Say it!" Caleb bounced in excitement in Paul's arms. He didn't really understand the joke of course, but was always ready to play along with this one.

Bella wrapped her arm around Paul's waist and batted her eyelashes up at him. "_What_ is Leah, honey?"

Paul rolled his eyes as his nostrils flared in indignation.

"Yes?" Leah smiled sweetly.

"Lee, you're a little … _fuddie-duddie_," Paul sighed in exasperation and the whole group – kids included – burst into laughter.

Paul growled uncharitably. It was his penance for almost letting the f-word slip in front of the kids. There weren't many cover-ups for it, and apparently there was something hi-_fucking_-larious about _Paul_ saying this one.

With another huff of annoyance, he wrapped his arm around Bella. "Okay, okay. Is this Pooh guy gonna wait for us or what? Let's go see'em…"

"And Tigger!" Caleb immediately switched tracks.

"And Pigwet!" Raven piped.

Leaning down to kiss Bella's lips – just because he wanted to – he lead his Pack... his family... off to the 100 Acre Woods.

And their own unique brand of Happily Ever After.

'

'

_The end._


End file.
